The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Computer Room => Topic started by: Barman on February 29, 2012, 06:29:32 PM
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All nice and ready like....
Planned for this weekend...
We'll be off-air for a couple of days prolly....
Get yer faceache accounts sorted now....
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A VP holiday sad24:
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scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:
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A VP holiday sad24:
Shrugs:
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Bye bye everyone sad24:
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Bye bye everyone sad24:
I hope nothing terrible happens - like you not being able to log-in when it is all up-and-running and speedy-quick like..... whistle:
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A VP holiday sad24:
Just closed for renovation...
BM is putting a condom machine in the ladies... :thumbsup:...JIC
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Do Durex do voddy and choc flavour? rubschin:
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A VP holiday sad24:
I'll see you in our usual place Miss D whistle:
Remember, knock three times ;) (and so the countdown begins like)
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A VP holiday sad24:
Just closed for renovation...
BM is putting a condom machine in the ladies... :thumbsup:...JIC
Will there be more dickheads coming then ? rubschin:
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A VP holiday sad24:
I'll see you in our usual place Miss D whistle:
Remember, knock three times ;) (and so the countdown begins like)
Ok - be ready this time though eh ;)
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A VP holiday sad24:
Just closed for renovation...
BM is putting a condom machine in the ladies... :thumbsup:...JIC
Will there be more dickheads coming then ? rubschin:
Am I a dickhead then... sad24:
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Mr Truncheon of Lurve noooo:
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A VP holiday sad24:
Just closed for renovation...
BM is putting a condom machine in the ladies... :thumbsup:...JIC
Will there be more dickheads coming then ? rubschin:
Am I a dickhead then... sad24:
Didn't say it was you now did I babe lol:
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(and so the countdown begins like)
5
4
3
2
1
Blunderbirds are go..... scared2:
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I shall be in Chichester this weekend, so I will miss all the aggro. cloud9:
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Abandoning ship already eh noooo:
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I might take the weekend off myself! lol:
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Wot is this faceache thing .......... rubschin:
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It's a secret whistle:
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It's a secret whistle:
Like Miss D said... a secret place where you have to be invited like.... whistle:
Basically, everybody logs-in there and posts "gubbermania" over and over again - you're not missing much.... noooo:
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Except us of course whistle:
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I wanna play ............but does that mean I need a faceache account .......... rubschin:
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I wanna play ............but does that mean I need a faceache account .......... rubschin:
YES! How many more times FFS? Banghead
Be quick too as tel needs to invite you.... whistle:
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I wanna play ............but does that mean I need a faceache account .......... rubschin:
YES! How many more times FFS? Banghead
Be quick too as tel needs to invite you.... whistle:
Miss T has an account ..............and I think I have a company one somewhere ....... rubschin:
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I wanna play ............but does that mean I need a faceache account .......... rubschin:
YES! How many more times FFS? Banghead
Be quick too as tel needs to invite you.... whistle:
Miss T has an account ..............and I think I have a company one somewhere ....... rubschin:
Rinkydink Inc.? point:
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Abandoning ship already eh noooo:
I'm sure you will stay until the band stops playing ;D
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Abandoning ship already eh noooo:
I'm sure you will stay until the band stops playing ;D
Or until Miss T sings.... whistle:
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So we close for the weekend and when we come back on Monday it'll be a fecking Weatherspoons rubschin:
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sad24:
I think we should set up an all new Virtual Crack in the Bottom Club, just in case, like noooo:
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It'll be speedy-fast-quick by Monday... or, er, perhaps Tuesday like.... redface:
I might even give it a quick lick of paint.... whistle:
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It'll be speedy-fast-quick by Monday... or, er, perhaps Tuesday like.... redface:
I might even give it a quick lick of paint.... whistle:
Is LL reversing it on-line.......... rubschin:
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It'll be speedy-fast-quick by Monday... or, er, perhaps Tuesday like.... redface:
I might even give it a quick lick of paint.... whistle:
Is LL reversing it on-line.......... rubschin:
evil:
I'll have to buy a mahoosive tin of T-Cut next week.... cussing:
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http://www.youtube.com/embed/6E2hYDIFDIU?autoplay=0 (http://www.youtube.com/embed/6E2hYDIFDIU?autoplay=0)
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What time is it going offline?
Can we see yer programme?
Is it on a Gannt chart?
Does it have the critical path shown?
Are the milestones and cut-off points clearly identified?
When is it likely to be back on?
Like
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Get on with it man...
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I think it goes a little something like this .... lol:
Turn off
Pull lever
Hit it
Kick it
Switch on
Hope for best
lol:
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Isn't all that for the bedroom confused:
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Would account for some of the success rates in here lol:
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What time is it going offline?
Can we see yer programme?
Is it on a Gannt chart?
Does it have the critical path shown?
Are the milestones and cut-off points clearly identified?
When is it likely to be back on?
Like
I shall be putting me hi-viz on at around lunchtimeish..... whistle:
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Safely seeing off LL's plane then ? whistle:
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Someone's already pulled out some cables here I think. scared2:
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Were they the copper ones ? ;)
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Safely seeing off LL's plane then ? whistle:
Yes... whistle:
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What time is it going offline?
Can we see yer programme?
Is it on a Gannt chart?
Does it have the critical path shown?
Are the milestones and cut-off points clearly identified?
When is it likely to be back on?
Like
I shall be putting me hi-viz on at around lunchtimeish..... whistle:
I use my hi-viz for the same reason, saves getting food stains on yer white shirt like redface:
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LL is distressed to find that BM has economised on her flight
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs16.postimage.org%2F47zvtts7l%2Fimages_18.jpg&hash=8f246da8708440eaf111e10c02acf4b434a87736) (http://postimage.org/image/47zvtts7l/)
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What time is it going offline?
Can we see yer programme?
Is it on a Gannt chart?
Does it have the critical path shown?
Are the milestones and cut-off points clearly identified?
When is it likely to be back on?
Like
I shall be putting me hi-viz on at around lunchtimeish..... whistle:
I use my hi-viz for the same reason, saves getting food stains on yer white shirt like redface:
happy001
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I've had an expert in to do a Risk Assessment ........ He says:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-WgITKqaY5O8%2FTai5dWIiwgI%2FAAAAAAAAAfM%2FuqSHXLyPb64%2Fs1600%2Ffrazer.jpg&hash=1669747955771bc16190e9786760021a763941df)
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::)
It will be fine like.... :thumbsup:
[crosses fingers] redface:
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I have every faith in you :thumbsup:
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char048
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Nah ~ seriously .....we were all very pleased with the original VP which BM created. Not really his fault that the Hosting Service went down hill ... we have had several good years out of them. A change of hosts is now needed and we won't know how they will turn out until we try. My feeling is we just have to go with it and hope that the new hosts are better ~ after all they could hardly be any worse.
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Agreed! :thumbsup:
Easyspace are bastards! cussing:
They haven't replied to any of my support requests for the past week.
The ONLY response I have had in that time was a telephone call yesterday trying to sell me an upgrade. The guy assured me that it must be our issue as no other sites had a problem - this was at the time when their entire network was down!
They've also changed their billing mechanism. You used to be able to choose to 'auto renew' services or do them manually. Then they started charging more if you didn't auto renew. Now they've changed it so you can't choose not to auto renew without calling them (expensive). Plus, there is no mechanism for removing your credit card details from their site...
Anyhooo.... LL is safely dumped at the airport - time to get stuck in! :thumbsup:
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Is it done...
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-scared003.gif&hash=72262d045ca139a91e72b91651b3893e0c22e671) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
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scared:
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OK...very funny...I'm still on the old server, right...
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Superb effort Barman :thumbsup: Can you slow it down a bit, it's a bit harem scarem on the corners scared2:
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Are we there yet?
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Five more minutes!
And why didn't you ask earlier, we've only just passed the services noooo:
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Going faster than a speeding hippy here... but no smilies
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They worked OK on me last few posts, and hopefully here
angel1 drumroll: Angry9: Banghead cussing: point: cry: eeek: ::) evil: lol: redface: ;) confused: 8) ;D smile: razz: cloud9: noooo: whistle: sick2: scared2: eyes: sad24: sad32: eveilgrin: tunble: censored: rubschin: angry041: :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Going faster than a speeding hippy here... but no smilies
You had a problem with them the last time we changed summat didn't you....? :thumbsup:
I've uploaded all the smilies from the old site and I can see them! whistle:
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Snoopysick:
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Snoopysick:
Oh ye of little faith! point:
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Spell Check is back cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
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Spell Check is back cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
Just need to add the add images thing... and the begging donate button of course.... whistle:
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Yes ...we should all donate something rubschin:
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Yes ...we should all donate something rubschin:
eeek:
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When I was in here earlier this mornning, no problems. But now it sems the background and even this text when typing have gone to basic, no colours etc
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs18.postimage.org%2Fh0hz6cuut%2Fvp_screendump_040312.jpg&hash=66caf0f10166b8373e3610f50de375fa035f7419) (http://postimage.org/image/h0hz6cuut/)
Anybody else getting this, or do I need to change settings?
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Every thing ok other than smilies. Usually use Safari but now trying Chrome with the same result. I'll try Firefox next
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When I was in here earlier this mornning, no problems. But now it sems the background and even this text when typing have gone to basic, no colours etc
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs18.postimage.org%2Fh0hz6cuut%2Fvp_screendump_040312.jpg&hash=66caf0f10166b8373e3610f50de375fa035f7419) (http://postimage.org/image/h0hz6cuut/)
Anybody else getting this, or do I need to change settings?
I have the usual colours. lol: :thumbsup:
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When I was in here earlier this mornning, no problems. But now it sems the background and even this text when typing have gone to basic, no colours etc
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs18.postimage.org%2Fh0hz6cuut%2Fvp_screendump_040312.jpg&hash=66caf0f10166b8373e3610f50de375fa035f7419) (http://postimage.org/image/h0hz6cuut/)
Anybody else getting this, or do I need to change settings?
All working 100% here.... rubschin:
Perhaps it is too fast for your 'puter like...? whistle:
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With customer care skills like that you should get a job with Easyspace cussing:
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With customer care skills like that you should get a job with Easyspace cussing:
lol: lol: lol:
No, Easyspace would have said it was a PICNIC problem.... whistle:
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angel1 drumroll: Angry9: Banghead Banghead cussing: point: cry: eeek:
Smileys all seem to werk. The only problem I have is that when I go to a board that shows it has "NEW" posts the board itself does not show the new posts symbol.
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angel1 drumroll: Angry9: Banghead Banghead cussing: point: cry: eeek:
Smileys all seem to werk. The only problem I have is that when I go to a board that shows it has "NEW" posts the board itself does not show the new posts symbol.
It does here... whistle:
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All works well here. I might go and spend some money at Amazon in celebration like.
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All works well here. I might go and spend some money at Amazon in celebration like.
eeek:
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So fast I'm getting out of breath.
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So fast I'm getting out of breath.
lol: lol: lol:
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All works well here. I might go and spend some money at Amazon in celebration like.
eeek:
I'd thought you'd be pleased.
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This is strange, it shows in basic format on Mozila Firefox "normal", it shows with all colours, bells and whistles on Mozilla Firefox "private browsing", and it shows with all colours, bells and whistles on IE. But if I copy the address that works to Mozila Firefox "normal", it goes back to basic Banghead
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This is strange, it shows in basic format on Mozila Firefox "normal", it shows with all colours, bells and whistles on Mozilla Firefox "private browsing", and it shows with all colours, bells and whistles on IE. But if I copy the address that works to Mozila Firefox "normal", it goes back to basic Banghead
rubschin:
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This is strange, it shows in basic format on Mozila Firefox "normal", it shows with all colours, bells and whistles on Mozilla Firefox "private browsing", and it shows with all colours, bells and whistles on IE. But if I copy the address that works to Mozila Firefox "normal", it goes back to basic Banghead
Have you tried clearing the browser cache?
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Eh?
Unlike yourself, I haven't a bloody clue on these things Shrugs:
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Eh?
Unlike yourself, I haven't a bloody clue on these things Shrugs:
Would it help if I just said it louder?
CLEAR YOUR BROWSER CACHE LIKE! lol:
Go into the Firefox menu, Click Options, Privacy and clear your recent history.... :thumbsup:
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Howdy-doody :thumbsup:
Three cheers for BM!!!
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JOM' s browser history could take some time eeek:
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Howdy-doody :thumbsup:
Free beers for BM!!!
cloud9:
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Howdy-doody :thumbsup:
Free beers for BM!!!
cloud9:
;D
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Eh?
Unlike yourself, I haven't a bloody clue on these things Shrugs:
Would it help if I just said it louder?
CLEAR YOUR BROWSER CACHE LIKE! lol:
Go into the Firefox menu, Click Options, Privacy and clear your recent history.... :thumbsup:
I did that, it didn't solve the problem. However, shut the laptop down, unplugged it, blew on the three pins, restarted, it went into "Start-up repair" mode, problem solved. Must have been the blowing on the pins that did it :thumbsup:
Now it's running again, I'm gonna run Spybot, Malwarebytes and defrag it, I shall wear a mask in case there's any viruses like scared2:
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Eh?
Unlike yourself, I haven't a bloody clue on these things Shrugs:
Would it help if I just said it louder?
CLEAR YOUR BROWSER CACHE LIKE! lol:
Go into the Firefox menu, Click Options, Privacy and clear your recent history.... :thumbsup:
I did that, it didn't solve the problem. However, shut the laptop down, unplugged it, blew on the three pins, restarted, it went into "Start-up repair" mode, problem solved. Must have been the blowing on the pins that did it :thumbsup:
Now it's running again, I'm gonna run Spybot, Malwarebytes and defrag it, I shall wear a mask in case there's any viruses like scared2:
scared2:
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Smileys now viewable ::)
I changed the "current smiley set" in forum look & layout to Forum / Board Default from Classic :thumbsup:
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Smileys now viewable ::)
I changed the "current smiley set" in forum look & layout to Forum / Board Default from Classic :thumbsup:
You are almost a techno demi-god! happ096
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Smileys now viewable ::)
I changed the "current smiley set" in forum look & layout to Forum / Board Default from Classic :thumbsup:
Yay! Party001:
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The new pub has no name. I suggest we call it the "In the Gutter"?
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It was a matter of trial 'n' error ... error mostly redface:
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The new pub has no name. I suggest we call it the "In the Gutter"?
It used to be 'The Off Topic'.... rubschin:
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The new pub has no name. I suggest we call it the "In the Gutter"?
That should be Inn the Gutter...or...
The Gutter Inn
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Then we'd have to get a man in when things got blocked to clear the gutterin' whistle:
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Then we'd have to get a man in when things got blocked to clear the gutterin' whistle:
doh:
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We need a pub name! I shall start an thread :thumbsup:
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Is it gubbed again or my intermong........????????
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Is it gubbed again or my intermong........????????
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Prolly your intermong, pages loading in less than one second here
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Oooh, an Ignore List! :thumbsup: Never used that here. Could always be useful against members posting exceptional shite I spose rubschin: . Like unsolicited posting of Underground Station names for example angel1
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cloud9:
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Cockfosters
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Oooh, an Ignore List! :thumbsup: Never used that here. Could always be useful against members posting exceptional shite I spose rubschin: . Like unsolicited posting of Underground Station names for example angel1
whistle:
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Cockermouth
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JOM reported on Faceache that he can't get into the site. ::)
I have suggested a suitable and tested route. angel1
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PICNIC prolly.... whistle:
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PICNIC prolly.... whistle:
Without doubt ...... Pissed I 'spect.
I have tested the link I posted on VPr's to help him and it werks. angel1
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Still no JOM tunble:
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Still no JOM tunble:
I expect he is still sobbing and clutching his little golden man.
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Still no JOM tunble:
I expect he is still sobbing and clutching his little golden man.
lol: lol: lol:
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I got in OK a little later, not been on FB since posting, but cheers anyway Snoopy :thumbsup:
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Its fooked again...
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Twas indeed noooo:
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Gubbed.........
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How did you all post if it was gubbed like...? rubschin:
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PICNIC's like point:
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PICNIC's like point:
Indeed... Thumbs:
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There may have been a brief outage .... at the time I put it down to short local power cut as I couldn't get into anything.
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happy100
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The server encountered an unexpected condition which prevented it from fulfilling the request.
The script had an error or it did not produce any output. If there was an error, you should be able to see it in the error log.
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The server encountered an unexpected condition which prevented it from fulfilling the request.
The script had an error or it did not produce any output. If there was an error, you should be able to see it in the error log.
I got one of those too! Immediate re-try was entirely successful however.
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Me too...gotta wind BM up tho...
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The server encountered an unexpected condition which prevented it from fulfilling the request.
The script had an error or it did not produce any output. If there was an error, you should be able to see it in the error log.
I got one of those too! Immediate re-try was entirely successful however.
I get them on various sites ..... I was putting it down to using Firefox.
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The server encountered an unexpected condition which prevented it from fulfilling the request.
The script had an error or it did not produce any output. If there was an error, you should be able to see it in the error log.
evil:
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The server encountered an unexpected condition which prevented it from fulfilling the request.
The script had an error or it did not produce any output. If there was an error, you should be able to see it in the error log.
I got one of those too! Immediate re-try was entirely successful however.
I get them on various sites ..... I was putting it down to using Firefox.
Can't be Firebox - I'm using Surfari on an iPad
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According to the Error Log:
April 06, 2012, 06:29:46 PM
Apply Filter: Only show the error messages of this session 5b5e3596f461cdc1ec6e79efd33890c7
Apply Filter: Only show the errors of this type Type of error: User
Apply Filter: Only show the error messages of this URL
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?PHPSESSID=b6528793c0c8ebf40a31685255c78a43&action=login2 (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?PHPSESSID=b6528793c0c8ebf40a31685255c78a43&action=login2)
Apply Filter: Only show the errors with the same message
Password incorrect - Marleys Ghost
angel1
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A bit of perspective is whats needed .
Not too long ago it took over a minute to load a page whistle:
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A bit of perspective is what's needed .
Not too long ago it took over a minute to load a page whistle:
Not too long ago it took over a minute to load a page... happy002
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According to the Error Log:
April 06, 2012, 06:29:46 PM
Apply Filter: Only show the error messages of this session 5b5e3596f461cdc1ec6e79efd33890c7
Apply Filter: Only show the errors of this type Type of error: User
Apply Filter: Only show the error messages of this URL
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?PHPSESSID=b6528793c0c8ebf40a31685255c78a43&action=login2 (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?PHPSESSID=b6528793c0c8ebf40a31685255c78a43&action=login2)
Apply Filter: Only show the errors with the same message
Password incorrect - Marleys Ghost
angel1
Horsefeathers Snoops - I was already logged in! Just moving to the next page in a thread.
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According to the Error Log:
April 06, 2012, 06:29:46 PM
Apply Filter: Only show the error messages of this session 5b5e3596f461cdc1ec6e79efd33890c7
Apply Filter: Only show the errors of this type Type of error: User
Apply Filter: Only show the error messages of this URL
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?PHPSESSID=b6528793c0c8ebf40a31685255c78a43&action=login2 (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?PHPSESSID=b6528793c0c8ebf40a31685255c78a43&action=login2)
Apply Filter: Only show the errors with the same message
Password incorrect - Marleys Ghost
angel1
Horsefeathers Snoops - I was already logged in! Just moving to the next page in a thread.
PICNIC whistle:
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According to the Error Log:
April 06, 2012, 06:29:46 PM
Apply Filter: Only show the error messages of this session 5b5e3596f461cdc1ec6e79efd33890c7
Apply Filter: Only show the errors of this type Type of error: User
Apply Filter: Only show the error messages of this URL
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?PHPSESSID=b6528793c0c8ebf40a31685255c78a43&action=login2 (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?PHPSESSID=b6528793c0c8ebf40a31685255c78a43&action=login2)
Apply Filter: Only show the errors with the same message
Password incorrect - Marleys Ghost
angel1
Horsefeathers Snoops - I was already logged in! Just moving to the next page in a thread.
PICNIC whistle:
Noes - I was sitting at the breakfast bar BM. The weather's not fit for eating outside just yet in Blighty!
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S'fucked again...
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Appears to be OK here rubschin:
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Was a bit temperamental last night for a while but then so was I so I thought my laptop had synced with my mood redface:
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Mine gets hot too eyes:
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...and requires an alternative power supply ;)
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Yes, I have a Portugese football star and a pair of jump leads with me at all times :thumbsup:
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I have a warning triangle ;)
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Yeah, I was crap at music in my schooldays too, always got to play the triangle, never the trumpet ;)
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Yes, I have a Portugese football star and a pair of jump leads with me at all times :thumbsup:
My floppy drive seems to have failed altogether. noooo:
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Yes, I have a Portugese football star and a pair of jump leads with me at all times :thumbsup:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs16.postimage.org%2Fjqzj4g64h%2Fportuguese_fat_jpg.jpg&hash=6a01cefc8e523a5734fea1d40bbf7ad6a09daece) (http://postimage.org/image/jqzj4g64h/)
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My unread posts since last visit ............is not working....... rubschin:
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My unread posts since last visit ............is not working....... rubschin:
PICNIC whistle:
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My unread posts since last visit ............is not working....... rubschin:
It's working fine, just nobody reads your posts. happy100
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My unread posts since last visit ............is not working....... rubschin:
It's working fine, just nobody reads your posts. happy100
evil:
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Is that all that is wrong or have you buggered the laptop up already? rubschin:
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Is that all that is wrong or have you buggered the laptop up already? rubschin:
cussing: I am not Nick..........
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My unread posts since last visit ............is not working....... rubschin:
It's working fine, just nobody reads your posts. happy100
evil:
point:
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Is that all that is wrong or have you buggered the laptop up already? rubschin:
cussing: I am not Nick..........
Was that Nick or PICNIC? whistle:
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Is it slow on here today ..................or is it my fecking internet again.........
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It's the weekend - all the 'ickle gerlz 'n boyz will be on t'interweb looking for piccies of other 'ickle gerl 'n boyz (or vice versa) and/or playing with Faceache.
Happens every weekend - Sunday tea time being the worst 'cos there's nowt but God Botherers on the haunted fish tank.
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It's the weekend - all the 'ickle gerlz 'n boyz will be on t'interweb looking for piccies of other 'ickle gerl 'n boyz (or vice versa) and/or playing with Faceache.
Happens every weekend - Sunday tea time being the worst 'cos there's nowt but God Botherers on the haunted fish tank.
lol: lol: lol:
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Why isn't my unread threads thing working ............. Banghead
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Never happened when Snoopy had the levers............. noooo:
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PICNIC whistle:
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PICNIC whistle:
Still not fecking working ............ noooo:
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Jobplus my man :thumbsup:
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the Pub has been really slow for the past few days - especially in the mornings...
I have raised a 'ticket' with the support people and they are working on a solutions...
Thanx
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In a sentence of one werd.....GOOSED. :thumbsup:
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It all seems very bursty and volatile, hot 'n' miss shrugs:
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Gubbed noooo:
-
It all seems very bursty and volatile, hot 'n' miss shrugs:
See! It even mis-spelled HIT redface:
-
I thought it was the Latvian triplets again redface:
-
It;s slower than trying to get sense out of the ginger cock of the forum. Banghead
-
sad32:
-
Dunno about you's lot, but it's mighty haphazard getting in and moving around in here this avvy. Banghead
Keep getting this message whan i click on a post:
The web address you entered could not be found
Basically, it's 'timing out' 'cus it's that slow.
Click again however, and it loads immidiately! eeek:
Wozat all about then ey? confused:
-
Dunno mate but I'm getting the same. evil:
-
Dunno mate but I'm getting the same. evil:
Ditto
-
BM vanished from the list of those present just after we posted the problem ~ he may be trying to solve it with the techies ....... or he may be scared:
BUT I AM SURE IT WILL BE THE FORMER OPTION! ;)
-
Slower than a slow thing here.
-
It has been on and off all day here...
I am werking on it...
-
scared2:
-
It has been on and off all day here...
I am werking on it...
Good man :thumbsup:
-
Seems mended now. :thumbsup:
What causes it to go all wobbly like? confused:
-
Seems mended now. :thumbsup:
What causes it to go all wobbly like? confused:
Evil Spirits I expect.
-
Seems mended now. :thumbsup:
What causes it to go all wobbly like? confused:
Evil Spirits I expect.
You could be right there DS ~ too much Gin and my screen goes all wobbly ~ but then so do I. redface:
-
Seems mended now. :thumbsup:
What causes it to go all wobbly like? confused:
Good question! cussing:
The forum actually uses two servers (both in Boston)....
You'll find that when it is gubbed you can still get into the home page (http://www.virtual-pub.com/ (http://www.virtual-pub.com/))...
That resides on a different server to the database that the forum uses... It is useless without the database...
Unfortunately, we share the database server with lots of other people, so if one of the other sites is exceptionally busy we suffer too...
The only way around this is to have our own server but that is much more expensive....
-
Went all tits up again 10 minutes ago. ::)
Betterer again now though. :thumbsup:
-
The site was down again first thing this morning....
I complained to tech support but by the time they got back to me it was working again.
Hello,
Thank you for contacting us.
We apologize for the inconvenience. There is no Server end issue. Currently, your website http://www.virtual-pub.com (http://www.virtual-pub.com) is loading fine. Please verify from your end. You can check the log files of your website in stats folder present in your Web directory.
Still if the issue persist, then please get back to us with the exact time frame when you are experiencing the issue, so that we can investigate further.
If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to contact us. We are available 24x7.
Sincerely,
Vernon Kapler
Technical Specialist
So, can you PLEASE make a note of when you are having difficulties on this thread - we'll monitor it over a week or so then get back to them again.
Tar muchly... Thumbs:
And please, don't post shite on this thread that I have to wade through to get the data! lol:
Just the problem, date and time.
-
So, can you PLEASE make a note of when you are having difficulties on this thread
Just this thread or the whole VP like? rubschin:
-
So, can you PLEASE make a note of when you are having difficulties on this thread
Just this thread or the whole VP like? rubschin:
I knew I could rely on you.... ::)
-
shrugs:
-
The site was down again first thing this morning....
I complained to tech support but by the time they got back to me it was working again.
Hello,
Thank you for contacting us.
We apologize for the inconvenience. There is no Server end issue. Currently, your website http://www.virtual-pub.com (http://www.virtual-pub.com) is loading fine. Please verify from your end. You can check the log files of your website in stats folder present in your Web directory.
Still if the issue persist, then please get back to us with the exact time frame when you are experiencing the issue, so that we can investigate further.
If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to contact us. We are available 24x7.
Sincerely,
Vernon Kapler
Technical Specialist
So, can you PLEASE make a note of when you are having difficulties on this thread - we'll monitor it over a week or so then get back to them again.
Tar muchly... Thumbs:
And please, don't post shite on this thread that I have to wade through to get the data! lol:
Just the problem, date and time.
Its just like being at work.... oh I am at work. redface:
-
Slooooooooow. 45 seconds to get to the next page. ::)
-
wot he said ^^^
-
It seems to have got betterer and is now back to normal. But for the last half hour it was gubbed.
-
I spoke too soon. Banghead It is completely phuqed here now.
-
I spoke too soon. Banghead It is completely phuqed here now.
-
Slower than Nick last night at just after 7pm, and pretty damned shitty right now too tbh.
Where's all this info. leading to? rubschin:
-
I've been discussing it with the support guys again this morning...
Hello,
Thank you for contacting Support.
I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you. I could see that you have over 20,000 visitors last month. Database has logged high levels of traffic in the last week. We have optimized database again. You need to move your account to VPS if traffic/footprint of site increase.
If you have any further questions, please update the Support Console.
Sincerely,
Ariel Danson
Technical Specialist
To which I replied...
What do you consider to be reasonable traffic...?
I currently have 5 users and 6 guests on the site and it is too slow to use.
Our traffic hasn't increased dramatically since we moved the site to you (in fact it is probably lower) yet it used to be much faster...
Barman
They check the site every now and again and tell me it is working fine (and close the ticket). Then I re-open the ticket and tell them that it is not...
I think this last message is a step forward - the site statistics prove our traffic has decreased (33,000 visits in March, 20,000 in September) yet my complaints and tickets have increased!
-
A lot of the problems I get here, in the top left hand corner of Wales, are directly related to lack of fibre optic.
Slowness applies to all internet use.
That said I have spoken to my ISP and they have, by means of some upgrade to local (ie local to me) of cabling, increased my average download speed from 2.3 to 14mbs ..... that and a little patience seems to have solved most of my problems .... although the VP deffo runs slower than "The Other Place" most of the time.
-
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.speedtest.net%2Fresult%2F2247134313.png&hash=647e38edad642a65ff6dafe8fe6f1dbe0a81ca33)
-
Note: this morning's speed test above is still slower than 53% of GB.
-
All gobbledegook to me this. confused:
Would going back to Anna Log cloud9: help, 'cus this digi does seem to be crap imo.
Still slow to load pages, yet I don't have this problem on any other sites I frequent. Shrugs:
Gone ded quick again now. eeek:
Does the hamster need more energy food p'raps?
-
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.speedtest.net%2Fresult%2F2247134313.png&hash=647e38edad642a65ff6dafe8fe6f1dbe0a81ca33)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.speedtest.net%2Fresult%2F2247205146.png&hash=dc71c5ef6c34f645c8f8b044f950b53052bcf54c) (http://www.speedtest.net)
sad24:
-
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.speedtest.net%2Fresult%2F2247134313.png&hash=647e38edad642a65ff6dafe8fe6f1dbe0a81ca33)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.speedtest.net%2Fresult%2F2247205146.png&hash=dc71c5ef6c34f645c8f8b044f950b53052bcf54c) (http://www.speedtest.net)
sad24:
angel1
-
Speed up and down like a tart's knickers here. noooo:
-
Speed up and down like a tart's knickers here. noooo:
The ones I know don't wear them. cloud9:
-
Speed up and down like a tart's knickers here. noooo:
The ones I know don't wear them. cloud9:
You said you had not met her ......... rubschin:
-
Goosed for last 10 mins...........
-
Goosed for last 10 mins...........
Should've worn knickers then. whistle:
-
I think I've found a solution! Thumbs:
Is anybody connecting wirelessly...? rubschin:
If so, you need some of this (http://j-walk.com/other/wifispray/)- you can buy it through our Amazon link!
Job done! inane:
-
Slower than a slow thing, with broken legs, wading through treacle at times this morning.
-
Gubbed again .............or my intermong ...... rubschin:
-
Same here for the last hour noooo:
-
Hello,
Our Network Operations team has fixed the problem affecting your web site. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. Please check to see that your site is loading as expected and let us know if you have any further trouble by replying to this message.
Thank you,
Support
Has it? rubschin:
-
NO, you are still here evil:
angel1
-
NO, you are still here evil:
angel1
Says the gubbermeister.... ::)
-
Hello,
Our Network Operations team has fixed the problem affecting your web site. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. Please check to see that your site is loading as expected and let us know if you have any further trouble by replying to this message.
Thank you,
Support
Has it? rubschin:
Clearly not.
Tortoise racing is quicker.
-
I simply don't know what to do * throws up hands *
I have raised another 'ticket' this morning and have asked them to escalate the issue. Banghead
Failing that I'm lost for ideas... anybody? Shrugs:
I'm simply not willing to go to the expense and hassle of moving the site again... noooo:
-
I simply don't know what to do * throws up hands *
I have raised another 'ticket' this morning and have asked them to escalate the issue. Banghead
Failing that I'm lost for ideas... anybody? Shrugs:
I'm simply not willing to go to the expense and hassle of moving the site again... noooo:
Send them a horse's head, or failing that, tell them Nick is going to drop in and see them.
-
I simply don't know what to do * throws up hands *
I have raised another 'ticket' this morning and have asked them to escalate the issue. Banghead
Failing that I'm lost for ideas... anybody? Shrugs:
I'm simply not willing to go to the expense and hassle of moving the site again... noooo:
Send them a horse's head, or failing that, tell them Nick is going to drop in and see them.
Slurry...? rubschin:
-
I simply don't know what to do * throws up hands *
I have raised another 'ticket' this morning and have asked them to escalate the issue. Banghead
Failing that I'm lost for ideas... anybody? Shrugs:
I'm simply not willing to go to the expense and hassle of moving the site again... noooo:
Send them a horse's head, or failing that, tell them Nick is going to drop in and see them.
Slurry...? rubschin:
Not while the suspended sentence is in force. noooo:
-
Banghead
-
Wot happened .............. rubschin:
Cyprusliving was also down at the same time .........
-
Wot happened .............. rubschin:
Cyprusliving was also down at the same time .........
I dunno... I've sent them a strong letter of complaint...
-
scared2: scared2:
-
scared2: scared2:
eeek: What have I done??? scared2:
-
Well, it's suddenly speeded up after a day's worth of Mr Sloooooow, so :thumbsup:
-
Yup. It's gizzy 'ere too....at the mo like. whistle:
-
whistle:
-
Slowish again. Banghead
-
Zippy here.
-
Zippy here.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.virginmedia.com%2Fimages%2Frainbow.jpg&hash=c9e7097cb31fdf03d6e36c622a8aab6fa4d52fdf)
rubschin:
-
It's all over the place.
Fast one min., tortoise featuures the next. confused:
-
That#s the mirror ::)
-
Thanks BM :thumbsup:
As soon as I wrote it I knew someone would post that picture.
-
That#s the mirror ::)
Haven't you got a disaster to be attending to, wasp? ::)
-
Thanks BM :thumbsup:
As soon as I wrote it I knew someone would post that picture.
cloud9:
-
No problems with VP all day.
-
Hello,
Thank you for contacting Support.
We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. We had issue on our server and that is the reason for your issue with website. The outage was unexpected and it was pretty bad. However, our network operations team and engineering team have taken control of the situation and resolved the issue earlier than expected. Also, they have made a strong backup server which will prevent such outage in future. Currently your website http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php) is working fine. Hence, please check this once again from your after clearing the browser cache and cookies.
To learn more about clearing browser cache and cookies, please refer the link:
http://www.bnl.gov/itd/webapps/browsercache.asp (http://www.bnl.gov/itd/webapps/browsercache.asp)
Did we successfully resolve your issue? If not, click here to chat with a senior member of our support team: http://www.ipage.com/chat (http://www.ipage.com/chat) .
Sincerely,
Poloma Gomez
Customer Support
::)
-
Very sluggish this morning ...the site not me
-
Same here, very sloooooooooow
-
Goosed again. ::)
Never like this is the Anna Log cloud9: days. noooo:
-
Snnoooorrrrre . . . . .
-
Snnoooorrrrre . . . . .
I know. I'm soz. I do go on about Anna cloud9: quite a bit. redface:
-
Snnoooorrrrre . . . . .
I know. I'm soz. I do go on about Anna cloud9: quite a bit. redface:
No G it's not you that's sending me to kip - it's waiting for a response out of this place!
Has the hamster karked it or what?
-
I've had a run-in with our host...
It seems zoomy-quick now but that could be coincidental....
-
I've had a run-in with our host...
It seems zoomy-quick now but that could be coincidental....
I'm not going to hold my breath BM!
-
Super-doopah fast here too!
-
Speedy-fast-quick I tells ya! cloud9:
-
Speedy-fast-quick I tells ya! cloud9:
Yup. Distinct whiff of Cassy R coming out the speakers 'ere BM. :thumbsup:
-
Speedy-fast-quick I tells ya! cloud9:
Yup. Distinct whiff of Cassy R coming out the speakers 'ere BM. :thumbsup:
cloud9:
-
I haven't had any problems with it at all today. angel1
-
I haven't had any problems with it at all today. angel1
Miss D has been away.... rubschin:
-
I haven't had any problems with it at all today. angel1
Miss D has been away.... rubschin:
scared:
-
Well just goes to show you can have speed without thrills whistle:
-
Well just goes to show you can have speed without thrills whistle:
drumroll:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Well just goes to show you can have speed without thrills whistle:
lol:
What about 'speed without frills' though?
-
Slow as wading through porridge this morning.
-
Slow as wading through porridge this morning.
I know...
I've been on to the support people since 4am your time... Banghead
-
Slow as wading through porridge this morning.
I know...
I've been on to the support people since 4am your time... Banghead
happy100
The LFC footie forum I frequent use summat called 'forums powered by UBB threads', and they are ded quick like.
Dunno how much they are, confused: but there's a lot of 'traffic' in there as you can imagine.
gets a bit slow at transfer deadline time like, but generally quite good.
I personally use 'Proboards' for my lickle forum, and it's FREE!! cloud9:
Never had any trouble at all in 5 years either.
Only got 5 of us in there mind. cry:
-
What is your lickle forum called?
Might be quite amusing.
-
scared2:
-
Gubbed again.....
-
Slow as wading through porridge this morning.
I know...
I've been on to the support people since 4am your time... Banghead
happy100
The LFC footie forum I frequent use summat called 'forums powered by UBB threads', and they are ded quick like.
Dunno how much they are, confused: but there's a lot of 'traffic' in there as you can imagine.
gets a bit slow at transfer deadline time like, but generally quite good.
I personally use 'Proboards' for my lickle forum, and it's FREE!! cloud9:
Never had any trouble at all in 5 years either.
Only got 5 of us in there mind. cry:
Well, we transferred to the #1 host for this type of forum. And I'm not changing again.... noooo:
-
I think I have worked out what the problem is! cussing:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs11.postimage.org%2Flddb38urz%2FWind.jpg&hash=62a2845e7d61a07045d77750d61049d01e4c9903) (http://postimage.org/image/lddb38urz/)
Why on EARTH did I sign-up for that? Banghead
-
I think I have worked out what the problem is! cussing:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs11.postimage.org%2Flddb38urz%2FWind.jpg&hash=62a2845e7d61a07045d77750d61049d01e4c9903) (http://postimage.org/image/lddb38urz/)
Why on EARTH did I sign-up for that? Banghead
So, an educated guess, it's not very breezy in Cyprus today!
Right?
So the Pub only runs properly on a windy day.
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 Wankah:
-
I think I have worked out what the problem is! cussing:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs11.postimage.org%2Flddb38urz%2FWind.jpg&hash=62a2845e7d61a07045d77750d61049d01e4c9903) (http://postimage.org/image/lddb38urz/)
Why on EARTH did I sign-up for that? Banghead
So, an educated guess, it's not very breezy in Cyprus today!
Right?
So the Pub only runs properly on a windy day.
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 Wankah:
Well the server is in Boston - I thought it would give us some, um protection.... whistle:
BUT...
Damaging winds in Southern New England through this evening.
Hurricane Sandy will track northward along the Eastern Seaboard. And is expected to turn west before making landfall in central New Jersey later today.
Damaging winds and power outages are anticipated across all of southern New England. The strongest winds will occur from late this morning into this evening, especially along the coast. High rise buildings along the coast including the cities of Boston and Providence will be most susceptible to wind damage.
High Wind Warning remains in effect until 6 am EDT Tuesday.
It should be as fast as fuck at the moment! cussing:
-
Slow as wading through porridge this morning.
I know...
I've been on to the support people since 4am your time... Banghead
happy100
The LFC footie forum I frequent use summat called 'forums powered by UBB threads', and they are ded quick like.
Dunno how much they are, confused: but there's a lot of 'traffic' in there as you can imagine.
gets a bit slow at transfer deadline time like, but generally quite good.
I personally use 'Proboards' for my lickle forum, and it's FREE!! cloud9:
Never had any trouble at all in 5 years either.
Only got 5 of us in there mind. cry:
Well, we transferred to the #1 host for this type of forum. And I'm not changing again.... noooo:
Please explain in more detail. I'm actually intrigued. eeek:
-
Well the server is in Boston - I thought it would give us some, um protection.... whistle:
You said that before, I had naturally assumed it was Boston Lincs, not Boston Mass. ::)
I expect the speed loss is because our subversive posts are all passing through Langley now. scared2:
-
What is your lickle forum called?
Might be quite amusing.
He told you..... the Liverpool supporters forum............ whistle:
-
Slow as wading through porridge this morning.
I know...
I've been on to the support people since 4am your time... Banghead
happy100
The LFC footie forum I frequent use summat called 'forums powered by UBB threads', and they are ded quick like.
Dunno how much they are, confused: but there's a lot of 'traffic' in there as you can imagine.
gets a bit slow at transfer deadline time like, but generally quite good.
I personally use 'Proboards' for my lickle forum, and it's FREE!! cloud9:
Never had any trouble at all in 5 years either.
Only got 5 of us in there mind. cry:
Well, we transferred to the #1 host for this type of forum. And I'm not changing again.... noooo:
Please explain in more detail. I'm actually intrigued. eeek:
For the SMF software that we use! Banghead
The S stands for simple by the way! whistle:
-
Well the server is in Boston - I thought it would give us some, um protection.... whistle:
You said that before, I had naturally assumed it was Boston Lincs, not Boston Mass. ::)
I expect the speed loss is because our subversive posts are all passing through Langley now. scared2:
Home of the Ford Transit...? rubschin:
-
Slow as wading through porridge this morning.
I know...
I've been on to the support people since 4am your time... Banghead
happy100
The LFC footie forum I frequent use summat called 'forums powered by UBB threads', and they are ded quick like.
Dunno how much they are, confused: but there's a lot of 'traffic' in there as you can imagine.
gets a bit slow at transfer deadline time like, but generally quite good.
I personally use 'Proboards' for my lickle forum, and it's FREE!! cloud9:
Never had any trouble at all in 5 years either.
Only got 5 of us in there mind. cry:
Well, we transferred to the #1 host for this type of forum. And I'm not changing again.... noooo:
Please explain in more detail. I'm actually intrigued. eeek:
For the SMF software that we use! Banghead
The S stands for simple by the way! whistle:
Ok. Keep yer piggin' bucket on. Was only asking like as I don't understand these things very well. redface:
-
Well the server is in Boston - I thought it would give us some, um protection.... whistle:
You said that before, I had naturally assumed it was Boston Lincs, not Boston Mass. ::)
I expect the speed loss is because our subversive posts are all passing through Langley now. scared2:
Home of the Ford Transit...? rubschin:
lol: lol:
:thumbsup:
-
Hello,
Thank you for getting back to us.
I have checked your website http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php) functionality in different intervals of time and it's loading without any slowness. Also, there is no MySQL load issues I suggest you to check the website functionality in different ISP's. If the issue persists please get back to us with the tracert result and exact time frame you are experiencing the issue so that we can investigate it further.
If you have any further questions, please update the Support Console.
Sincerely,
Gabby Newman
Technical Specialist
doh:
-
So basically, we're GOOSED, and to use a well known and used phrase what The Mrs Owld Moose constantly uses.... put up and shut up. whistle:
-
So basically, we're GOOSED, and to use a well known and used phrase what The Mrs Owld Moose constantly uses.... put up and shut up. whistle:
The fat laydee hasn't sung yet... whistle:
-
Can Miss D sing. like?
-
scared:
-
Can Miss D sing. like?
+1.
Didn't actually know she was fat.
Piccies by chance? rubschin:
-
Can Miss D sing. like?
+1.
Didn't actually know she was fat.
Piccies by chance? rubschin:
Plenty of piccies on faceache... oh.... redface:
-
scared:
-
I am what I am , I am my own special creation noooo:
-
I am what I am , I am my own special creation noooo:
Ear worm.......... cussing:
-
I am what I am , I am my own special creation noooo:
Fat then I presume?
Well according to the Nob of Nottingham you are anyway. whistle:
-
I'd say sturdy. With stumpy legs. Like. In a nice way
-
I'd say sturdy. With stumpy legs. Like. In a nice way
Wanna borrow me JCB if it'll 'elp like? lol:
-
I am what I am , I am my own special creation noooo:
Fat then I presume?
Well according to the Nob of Nottingham you are anyway. whistle:
Miss D is babetastic.... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-love051.gif&hash=4a4cfe17bff9f66bbb8773af4f103803fbe0ce9d) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Nick is an Ginger knob.... lol:
-
I am what I am , I am my own special creation noooo:
Fat then I presume?
Well according to the Nob of Nottingham you are anyway. whistle:
Miss D is babetastic.... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-love051.gif&hash=4a4cfe17bff9f66bbb8773af4f103803fbe0ce9d) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Nick is an Ginger knob.... lol:
Oh ffs. Go an' 'ave an cold shower you. ::)
Never met her like, but at the end of the day like..................... whistle:
I'm sure she is most delightful.
-
She has a steel lined handbag scared2:
-
noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
-
noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
No wha' though?
'andbag, fat or Nobby Nick from Nottingham?
-
Perhaps Santa could bring her one :thumbsup:
-
The Charm Club in here needs some serious training noooo:
-
Shrugs:
-
Shrugs:
Don't actually do charm tbh, nope. noooo:
Learnded me lessons the hard way many times in the past going down that slippery road. whistle:
-
What is your lickle forum called?
Might be quite amusing.
He told you..... the Liverpool supporters forum............ whistle:
I am not quite so sure.... If you read his posting it starts with:
"The LFC footie forum I frequent use summat called 'forums powered by UBB threads', and they are ded quick like."
and ends up with
"I personally use 'Proboards' for my lickle forum, and it's FREE!!"
I would have thought he is talking about two different forums....one he frequents & one which is personal forum. Please explain Growler.
-
What is your lickle forum called?
Might be quite amusing.
He told you..... the Liverpool supporters forum............ whistle:
I am not quite so sure.... If you read his posting it starts with:
"The LFC footie forum I frequent use summat called 'forums powered by UBB threads', and they are ded quick like."
and ends up with
"I personally use 'Proboards' for my lickle forum, and it's FREE!!"
I would have thought he is talking about two different forums....one he frequents & one which is personal forum. Please explain Growler.
I know that ...........it was a joke to suggest Liverpool only have 5 supporters ............. noooo: noooo:
-
Ooooops...missed that. redface:
Note to myself: Do not drink too much in the afternoon.
-
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
-
Ooooops...missed that. redface:
Note to myself: Do not drink too much in the afternoon.
Now that was funnier.............. whistle:
-
Hello,
Thank you for following up with us.
We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. I can understand your concern regarding the issue with website loading. Due to the nature of our shared hosting system, there will be occasional brief periods where MySQL/CGI sensitive Web sites experience stalling and slowness – in most circumstances this is caused by other users on the server monopolizing resources and causing particular applications which are sensitive to MySQL load (applications like phpNuke, Drupal, phpBB, Joomla, WordPress, etc ) to experience slowdowns and timeouts. In such cases, we have automated monitoring and a team in Network Operations that detect and correct these issues as they arise.
Moreover, we are on shared hosting platform you might find some interruption in website loading in some intervals depending on the server load. If you really need your website load in full speed, then I can suggest you to signup for VPS hosting plan. For more information, please refer the URL: http://www.ipower.com/ipower/web-hosting/vps-plans.bml (http://www.ipower.com/ipower/web-hosting/vps-plans.bml) .
If you have any further questions, please update the Support Console.
Sincerely,
Winston Kiplin
Technical Specialist
noooo:
-
It would appear that "other users on the server are monopolizing resources " at the moment noooo:
-
It would appear that "other users on the server are monopolizing resources " at the moment noooo:
Probably Nick has Marmite sticking down his 'refresh' button.
-
It would appear that "other users on the server are monopolizing resources " at the moment noooo:
Probably Nick has Marmite sticking down his 'refresh' button.
-
The Charm Club in here needs some serious training noooo:
I said you were babetastic! cussing:
-
rubschin:
It went 'cannot connect' etc for the first time so I sent again.
Crock O'Shite.
-
Piggin' 'more smileys' are taking an eternity to load now. Banghead
-
Here, use this one
Finger:
-
'Tas been another morning of wading through treacle here
-
'Tas been another morning of wading through treacle here
I know... redface:
I have been slugging it out with the support people on a continual basis... They basically say it mus be my ISP at fault, etc. ::) It always seems to be running fast when they log-in to test it...
Yesterday, I signed up with some software that monitors the site speed from a number of locations around the world every five minutes...
The results so far are quite fascinating (see below).... It was actually quite fast just before you got here JOM! rubschin:
Anyhooo.... I hope that these results will be definitive proof of the problems we are experiencing...
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs12.postimage.org%2Fmgi7u705l%2Fspeed.jpg&hash=75ef0472e1fc2320428a9398971f1fefb69318b4) (http://postimage.org/image/mgi7u705l/)
-
Oh yeah, "quite fascinating" ;)
-
Oh yeah, "quite fascinating" ;)
evil:
-
Bloody ace 'ere today.
Problee 'cus I'm logged in like. cloud9:
-
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs18.postimage.org%2Fk2grddkzp%2Fspeed.jpg&hash=20021b15d777a273302debd1f168f1db6c1a408e) (http://postimage.org/image/k2grddkzp/)
-
Werking Fine Here so frankly I don't care whistle:
-
Werking Fine Here so frankly I don't care whistle:
Yes, that is wot the graph shows! Banghead
-
Werking Fine Here so frankly I don't care whistle:
Yes, that is wot the graph shows! Banghead
angel1
-
Surprised it was graph thought it would be a pie-chart........... whistle:
-
Absolutely dire getting in 'ere 20 mins. ago, now it's absolutely buzzin'! confused:
-
Absolutely dire getting in 'ere 20 mins. ago, now it's absolutely buzzin'! confused:
You or the forum .......... whistle:
-
Absolutely dire getting in 'ere 20 mins. ago, now it's absolutely buzzin'! confused:
You or the forum .......... whistle:
The forum you gonk, only it's gone all tired again...bit like me now too. ::)
-
Still monitoring it like.... ::)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs10.postimage.org%2Fg4e5arbjp%2Fspeed.jpg&hash=f38f1389adda926a6271c7f74dd5179e865536bd) (http://postimage.org/image/g4e5arbjp/)
-
You're not the only one having probs.... and its just gone slow here again.
http://www.youtube.com/ (http://www.youtube.com/)
500 Internal Server Error
Sorry, something went wrong.
A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.
If you see them, show them this information:
iJtldacageVsGzFNSKAnX6jYONUeeUJW7idJ2J-CezWUvrNWDQlBghnscuvF
V7FDBElSZXkOxAkHyGcMBh3mz3VvryyDrq8SUDhI62vUCmHCCeoSw7huMzgi
ZmUmtc3FapvGiwRGUd3V0L7qQrzhovWiU9sGhUmlz5cUYxygo8cZ9grBMvJE
1A0EFJ31AgeU56cOYotEsu9zdLBrGf7epXVrLqg0si2wflkN1GTXYOf2vUOK
ugSlLdVEIeytamikPuXSsSmpCZCPd603kqpZtNsuXE....
-
Glad that it isn't just me who has been finding this so slow. I should have come in here earlier. redface:
-
You're not the only one having probs.... and its just gone slow here again.
http://www.youtube.com/ (http://www.youtube.com/)
500 Internal Server Error
Sorry, something went wrong.
A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.
If you see them, show them this information:
iJtldacageVsGzFNSKAnX6jYONUeeUJW7idJ2J-CezWUvrNWDQlBghnscuvF
V7FDBElSZXkOxAkHyGcMBh3mz3VvryyDrq8SUDhI62vUCmHCCeoSw7huMzgi
ZmUmtc3FapvGiwRGUd3V0L7qQrzhovWiU9sGhUmlz5cUYxygo8cZ9grBMvJE
1A0EFJ31AgeU56cOYotEsu9zdLBrGf7epXVrLqg0si2wflkN1GTXYOf2vUOK
ugSlLdVEIeytamikPuXSsSmpCZCPd603kqpZtNsuXE....
lol: lol: lol:
-
lol:
-
My intermong is so slow today ........... evil:
-
My intermong is so slow today ........... evil:
Obviously, I managed to get in, eventually. whistle:
Connection Problems
Sorry, SMF was unable to connect to the database. This may be caused by the server being busy. Please try again later.
-
Slow again this morning...
I will be sending my full report (complete with expletives) to them tomorrer... evil:
-
It actually seems a lot quicker here this morning confused:
-
Yes agreed. Everyone else must still be asleep rubschin:
-
Maybe we run better on rain power
-
VP - "Slicker when wet "
or
"Stonking in a storm "
rubschin:
-
It was desperately slow first thing like.... noooo:
But of course you two were still in bed....
-
Don't you get sick of writing to them like? Banghead
Never seems to do any good ey. ::)
Is there main computer thingy wotnot what all the various forums go through (presumably) simply not up to the task do you think? Shrugs:
-
Don't you get sick of writing to them like? Banghead
Never seems to do any good ey. ::)
Is there main computer thingy wotnot what all the various forums go through (presumably) simply not up to the task do you think? Shrugs:
I am sick of it! cussing:
The problem is that each time I open a 'ticket' I have to go through all the standard responses before getting to somebody that will actually take me seriously - then sods law they test the site at a time when it is running speedy-quick-fast! Banghead
The issue is that the database server we are using is overloaded - just need to convince them of that and get us moved to another....
-
Oh. I see....sort of. whistle:
Tell 'em to contact me. I'll friggin' tell 'em in well 'ard proper scouse Anna Log cloud9: language like. Angry9:
-
Oh. I see....sort of. whistle:
Tell 'em to contact me. I'll friggin' tell 'em in well 'ard proper scouse Anna Log cloud9: language like. Angry9:
Um, I don't think that will be necessary.... noooo:
-
It was desperately slow first thing like.... noooo:
But of course you two were still in bed....
It was beautifully slow first thing like eyes:
-
Yes, we wouldn't want to put anyone's back up whistle:
-
Tsk, tsk... noooo:
-
She is an potty mouth noooo:
-
So slow............................ noooo:
-
So slow............................ noooo:
Wine-based retardation :thumbsup:
-
So slow............................ noooo:
Wine-based retardation :thumbsup:
Got to go out and buy more ........... redface:
-
Nice and nimble at the moment ;D
-
Wading through treacle again this morning (oh, and Rich tea and Hovis wholemeal here ;) )
-
Typical, speedy quick when I have to go earlyish. ::)
-
Wading through treacle again this morning (oh, and Rich tea and Hovis wholemeal here ;) )
Alternating hare and tortoise here.
Penguin and seeded batch.
-
Wading through treacle again this morning (oh, and Rich tea and Hovis wholemeal here ;) )
Alternating hare and tortoise here.
Penguin and seeded batch.
Is that anything like a chicken sarnie?
-
Wading through treacle again this morning (oh, and Rich tea and Hovis wholemeal here ;) )
Alternating hare and tortoise here.
Penguin and seeded batch.
Is that anything like a chicken sarnie?
King penguin>Coronation chicken sarnie. ;)
-
Wading through treacle again this morning (oh, and Rich tea and Hovis wholemeal here ;) )
Alternating hare and tortoise here.
Penguin and seeded batch.
Is that anything like a chicken sarnie?
King penguin>Coronation chicken sarnie. ;)
drumroll:
-
I had an all-day battle with the support people yesterday...
Messages were getting more and more hysterical (from my end) as each time we started to get somewhere a new support guy would take over and we were back to the beginning again...
Finally I told one of them that this was 'fucking stupid' and I was going to make a formal complaint about him...
After that I got upgraded to the next level of support who upgraded me to the network specialist...
Instead of responding immediately, they actually spent several hours (eating doughnuts prolly) before responding thusly...
Hello,
Thank you for contacting Support.
Your reported issue has been fixed and now the website URL http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php) is loading fine without any issue. Could you please verify from your end by deleting your browser cache and cookies.
If you have any further questions, please update the Support Console.
Sincerely,
Pearla Sims
Technical Specialist
I'm not holding my breath on it but hopefully it is fixed...
-
It's not Banghead But seriously, your efforts are appreciated :thumbsup:
-
It's not Banghead But seriously, your efforts are appreciated :thumbsup:
Agreed... it was speedy-fast-quick first thing but now it is slowdy-slow-slow.... noooo:
I shall be back on the attack with Pearla Sims as soon as I have the statistics from Pingdom... eveilgrin:
-
Hi Pearla,
Thanks for your response!
It would be interesting to know what you did to fix the problem...?
Because, while it may well have been working at 6:19 EST, it definitely IS NOT working at 8:00 GMT!
The two pingdom reports below show how terrible it has been!
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l194/markfrank19/speed5.jpg (http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l194/markfrank19/speed5.jpg)
AND
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l194/markfrank19/downtime2.jpg (http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l194/markfrank19/downtime2.jpg)
In fact, I just had to wait 53 seconds for the home page to load.
Clearly, your server is completely overloaded at this time of day and something needs to be done.
I still wish to make a formal complaint about this problem and the support process - please let me know how this can be done.
Barman
eveilgrin:
-
...and I thought dealing with HM Customs & Revenue was a challenge! eeek:
Good on you for taking them to task anyway BM, you olwd rottie. :thumbsup:
-
Hello,
Thank you for contacting Support.
We believe that at this particular time there may have been some load issue on the server. Our servers are designed to handle all kind of high loads, but sometimes there are possible chances where the sever gets overloaded and that might keep your site loading a bit slower than usual. Since this is a shared hosting architecture we can expect something like this to rarely happen. We will work on this and make sure that the your site loads fine and does not go loading slow on the mentioned time. If there is anything else you need assistance on this please let us know.
If you have any further questions, please update the Support Console.
Sincerely,
Pearla Sims
Technical Specialist
And...
Pearla,
This is not 'sometimes', 'possible', 'might' or 'rarely'...
This is every single day - sometimes for hours each day.
I will continue to monitor the site.
In the meanwhile, please let me know how I can make a formal complaint in your quality management system.
Best regards,
Barman
-
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
-
I give up! Banghead
This is going nowehere with iPage...
Their last response: -
Hello,
We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you. I have again checked accessing the website URL 'http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php' (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php') with different intervals of time and it is loading up fine without any issues. I have checked the website load time in Pingdom tools at: 'http://tools.pingdom.com/fpt' (http://tools.pingdom.com/fpt') and noticed that website is loading within 3-4 seconds. Due to the nature of our shared hosting system, there are possible chances where the sever gets overloaded and that might keep your site loading a bit slower than usual. Please try to access the website with different systems and networks.
If you have any further questions, please update the Support Console.
Sincerely,
Paxton Riggs
Technical Specialist
I of course replied with lower grades one buys, soot gets in yer eyes as follows: -
THIS IS NOT RESOLVED!
i wish to make a formal complaint - how do I do so.
The site was COMPLETELY unavailable this morning at 05:30 GMT
Since then it has been working but is EXTREMELY slow - Pingdome shows it way over ten seconds see here: -
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l194/markfrank19/speed6.jpg (http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l194/markfrank19/speed6.jpg)
How can you say that Pingdom shows 3-4 (which in itself would be unacceptable) when that clearly is not the case.
This happens EVERY DAY!
I need this resolved and I need access to your formal complaints system please.
Mark
But it is becoming clear to me that 'Paxton' is probably 'Gupta' or 'Sanjit' in reality and the glowing reviews of iPage that led me too them are in fact completely false...
You can see what their other customers think of them here (http://hosting-reviews-exposed.com/hosts-that-use-exposed-reviews/dont-buy-from-ipage-com-until-you-read-my-review-to-save-time-and-money.html) and, um here (http://www.whoishostingthis.com/hosting-reviews/ipage/)... redface:
The question is, do we simply let the VP die a virtual death on teh Interwebs or do we move it, apply the paddles and try to revive it to its former glory again...?
-
Move it :thumbsup:
-
It took almost two minutes to post the above noooo:
-
It's getting even worse. I'm off for second breakfast.
-
Move it :thumbsup:
I Like To Move It (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzSdPxlGGZc#)
rubschin:
-
I know it's hassle, but move it
-
Move it, but I don't feel comfy with you having to foot the presumed cost.
Deadly slow this morning. Taking on average 15-25 seconds to load pages.
-
Move it, but I don't feel comfy with you having to foot the presumed cost.
Deadly slow this morning. Taking on average 15-25 seconds to load pages.
Took 1 minute to load that.^^
-
Who writes this shit? confused:
If we had to sum up Simple Machines, the first expression that would come to our mind is that it's a pillar for the world of forum software. This famous product has always indeed guaranteed an high level of quality and has always delivered a complete forum solution. This has to be compared with some of its competitors, that prefer providing an huge list of features, not always well integrated with each others.
Simple machines presumably. whistle:
-
Look on the bright side.
I post something, then go and put the kettle on, let it boil, pour the water into the teapot and just as my laptop is just about to give up the ghost the page finally loads up.........I am using it as a screen saver. Thumbs:
-
Look on the bright side.
I post something, then go and put the kettle on, let it boil, pour the water into the teapot and just as my laptop is just about to give up the ghost the page finally loads up.........I am using it as a screen saver. Thumbs:
It's even werserer than it was yesterday. Was that actually possible? eeek:
Had 'web site not found' message popping up a couple of times today. Banghead
-
It has been desperate all weekend... can only hope it is because they are working on an upgrade or summat.... noooo:
-
It has been desperate all weekend... can only hope it is because they are working on an upgrade or summat.... noooo:
Sometimes this weekend, it suddenly seems to werk reasonably quickly, as toytoysis go like, like now for instance. Weird. confused:
I'll just go and wash the car while this post loads. whistle:
-
The "Other Place" doesn't seem to have these problems .... but then they don't have as much traffic as us. Who do they use?
-
The "Other Place" doesn't seem to have these problems .... but then they don't have as much traffic as us. Who do they use?
I dunno... they moved it a few years back didn't they...?
I'll run a tracert and see where they are.... whistle:
-
It traces to here: -
http://ukwebsolutionsdirect.co.uk/ (http://ukwebsolutionsdirect.co.uk/)
-
The "Other Place" doesn't seem to have these problems .... but then they don't have as much traffic as us. Who do they use?
I dunno... they moved it a few years back didn't they...?
I'll run a tracert and see where they are.... whistle:
If by "the other place" you're referring to GOM, the I'd have to say that, IMO, they see more traffic are usually speedy quick like . . .
-
Well I've been on here for most of the day today, generally ranting, soz, and must say it's been generally running pretty damned ok tbqh. :thumbsup:
Is it fixed now d'ya think? whistle:
-
Better now but not fixed ................lets hope it will be fixed quicker than BM last project............... whistle:
-
Slower than a slug on a high-salt diet today. noooo:
-
Update... ::)
I've been going round the same loop every day with the support team...
It is clear that they are almost solely tasked with closing tickets so they generally come out with the same old B/S - there is no problem, it is our fault, we need to upgrade to a dedicated server, etc.
Each time I contact them I tell them that I wish to make a formal complaint and ask who I should address it to...
Today I got this: -
Hello,
We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. Due to the nature of our shared hosting system, there will be occasional brief periods where MySQL/PHP sensitive websites are experience stalling and slowness – in most circumstances this is caused by other users on the pool monopolizing resources and causing particular applications which are sensitive to MySQL load (applications like phpNuke, phpBB, Joomla) to experience slowdowns and timeouts. In such cases, we have automated monitoring and a team in Network Operations that detect and correct these issues as they arise. If your website having slowness more frequently, please report it.
To make a formal complaint against our support staff, please send the complaint to the email address gary@ipage.com
If you have any further questions, please update the Support Console.
Thanks!
Jaelyn Jenkins
Technical Specialist
I figured 'gary' was a joke... a dead-end e-mail address or the guy that swept the floors...
Nonetheless I sent him this: -
Hi Gary,
I am forced to make a formal complaint against iPage and request that it be registered in your quality management system and that I be updated with the progress.
I moved my web site to iPage back in April and was very pleased with the service, support and performance of your company.
We run a small 'virtual pub' with a limited number of users so we have very little performance or bandwidth requirements.
Way back in August we started to get some issues with the site becoming unreliable.
By September the site was not working reliably at all - it was either not available or was too slow to use.
Your support people have been very responsive but have totally failed to resolve the issues we are experiencing.
If you look at support tickets 10104715 & 10194002 you will see how frustrating it has been. Each time I get the same stock answers - firstly that nothing is wrong, next that it is a problem with my ISP and lastly that I have to upgrade to VPS.
This is not acceptable.
On the suggestion of one of your techs i monitored the site with Pingdom. The results clearly show that the issue is with your SQL server. You can see the latest results here. It is clearly not acceptable in 2012 to have to wait 12 seconds for a page to load.
If you read through the support tickets you will understand that I am completely fed up with this - I have wasted hours of my time creating and updating support tickets.
All I ask is that iPage do what they promised when I signed up - I want a fast website host which means either moving us to another SQL server or removing whoever it is that monopolises the server we are on for most of the day.
Thanks in advance for your prompt reply and speedy resolution of this unfortunate issue.
Best regards,
Barman
I was fairly sure it would bounce back or would disappear forever into the vast space of teh Inetrwebs...
However, I've had a reply!
Barman,
While I never like to get an email like this from a customer, I want to thank you for taking the time to make me aware of the issues that you've been facing with our hosting service.
I am going to ask one of my top techs to investigate this for me this morning, and we'll be back in touch with a course of action later today.
Sincerely,
Gary R. Engel
Sr. Vice President, Customer Support
iPage
781-852-3200 ext 3302
Shocked:
-
Progress! :thumbsup:
Well done
-
Progress! :thumbsup:
Well done
It could still be the floor sweeper.... rubschin:
-
Progress! :thumbsup:
Well done
It could still be the floor sweeper.... rubschin:
But we have his e-mail ........ eveilgrin:
-
Progress! :thumbsup:
Well done
It could still be the floor sweeper.... rubschin:
But we have his e-mail ........ eveilgrin:
eveilgrin:
-
Well, we had a reply - not from Gary though... ::)
Greetings,
Judging by the information provided in your previous tickets, it is hard to pinpoint what the problem was at the time of your pingdom reports.
I have looked into passed open issues with the MySQL server you are using and have found no reported downtime/performance issues.
One thing to know is that your account has a MySQL query limit of 75,000 queries an hour per database user. Once this is reached your database user will no longer be able to authenticate for an hour, and your application will get a database connection error.
Pingdom cannot recognize this, and considers it downtime/latency.
Hosting a forum with a decent amount of traffic on our shared hosting platform requires the application to be configured to generate minimal server load.
The easiest way to do this is to implement a caching system so when each page is accessed MySQL queries aren't made.
At this time it seems that your site is responding in a reasonable amount of time.
I've completed over 6,000 traceroutes to the server with an average latency of 80ms.
I have your site in pingdom and average response time for the passed 3 hours is 1,551 ms, checking every minute.
Due to the nature of shared hosting, our server performance may slow down during peak traffic hours.
If you need more dedicated resources, we would recommend getting a VPS server.
I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
If you have any further issues, please reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you.
Mathew L.
Technical specialist
It is basically the same old response, albeit hand written and not copy and pasted...
1) It is your fault - you are using too much data (we're not).
2) There is nothing wrong with the site (there obviously is).
3) You need to upgrade to a much more expensive service (no we fucking don't, not with you anyway).
So I replied thusly (and copied Gary): -
Hi,
Thanks for your prompt reply...
I must say, I am disappointed that your reply is pretty much what I have experienced from the support team over the past few months.
Firstly an accusation that we are exceeding your limits.
Then a suggestion that there is something wrong.
And finally a suggestion that we need to upgrade to VPS.
Please, please read the following very carefully as I have made these points time and time again but have been ignored.
I really don't think we are exceeding 75,000 queries per hour. Yesterday for instance our forum had a total of 122 posts - this is partly due to the poor performance we are experiencing...
Are you sure you are checking the correct site...?
The base site - http://www.virtual-pub.com/ (http://www.virtual-pub.com/) - always loads perfectly. We never have a problem gaining access to that site which holds a simple HTML front page.
The problem we have is gaining access to the forum which is ghosted by your SQL server - http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php)
Right now that site is completely unusable - it has taken me ten minutes and multiple attempts to try to make a post there.
Pingdom shows the same thing for this site every day. (http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l194/markfrank19/speed11.jpg)
As I live on a time-zone that is two hours ahead of most of my users I can assure you that I am the only person on the board and the first person to post in at least five hours.
So, I think we should be able to agree that if one person cannot post on the board (it has just taken 25 seconds to load the 'home page') and Pingdom agrees that it is taking more than 20 seconds then there MUST be a problem with your server which is not related to our usage of the site?
UPDATE: Since starting to write this message to you, all I have been able to get for the past ten minutes is this. (http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l194/markfrank19/update.jpg) I can access all the other sites that I use on a regular basis with no problems.
I'm sure you can appreciate that if the site is completely unusable there really is no point paying you for the privilege and we will reluctantly be forced to move our business elsewhere.
Please have another look at the statistics and perhaps get one of your guys to actually try using the site at 06:00 GMT to see what the problems are really like (just taken 42 seconds to load the home page).
A site with ten users and less than 200 posts per day does not need a VPS server.
Thanks in advance for your prompt reply.
Barman
I don't see this going anywhere - do we have any option but to move the site now...?
-
Possibly give them a chance to check it out. I bet some numpty was just looking at http://www.virtual-pub.com/ (http://www.virtual-pub.com/) and not http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php. (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php.)
I has been the wersest this morning I have ever known. noooo:
-
Possibly give them a chance to check it out. I bet some numpty was just looking at http://www.virtual-pub.com/ (http://www.virtual-pub.com/) and not http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php. (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php.)
I has been the wersest this morning I have ever known. noooo:
Agreed... I'll be sending them a couple of pictures of the response charts later with some choice words... evil:
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Watch that bunch of tossers at ipage.
I had hosting with them a couple of years ago. When the next years' payment came up they do not warn you that it is running out and just apply for your munny. Not only had the price gone up by 60% cussing:, they tried to take it off my internet card. The whole point of the P card is that you put just enough into the account to cover the purchase you have bought online and other munny in your accounts cannot be touched. The fecking bank charged me 20 euros for a returned transaction. cussing: I got in touch with ipage and was told that it was only an introductory offer and their normal charge was a lot fecking higher. They would not give me a discount on renewing with them and kept on trying to access my internet card for the wonga, even after I told them to stuff it. The bank only charged me the once, although ipage tried 4 fecking times (twice after I had cancelled the hosting!).
I never owed them munny as the wankers shut the site down on the last day of the years hosting, if they kept it open for a few weeks then I accept that some payment would be needed to cover that period......but no the fuckers just closed it dead on the 365th day without warning. cussing:
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It is slower than a Savile apology today. noooo:
These 75,000 queries, could they be spy-bot thingies or Amazon advert targeting rather than 'real' users?
It seems such a huge number for such a select band of VP'ers, I would suspect non-human activity. (Nick excluded)
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Yes it is going slower the longer I am on it today.
I know it's a pain in the arse to change hosts and a lot of work for you but I can't see an alternative.
If, as their names and Vice Pres etc suggests, they are hosting this on a USA based server then it stands to reason that their peak usage times are going to be some 8 hours different from ours. Therein may lay the problem.
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I sent this to Gary and the support team: -
Guys,
If a picture paints a thousand words the two attached to this e-mail must surely shame you into action.
Today has been the worst day ever!
Barman
With these two pictures: -
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs7.postimage.org%2F8xyvhc8if%2Fdowntime3.jpg&hash=28ebba806417a35ffbabfcd3d80cb630756440db) (http://postimage.org/image/8xyvhc8if/)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs7.postimage.org%2Fl2e4yblef%2Fspeed12.jpg&hash=43cd06f200eb861950be9a3436f0d156741a410a) (http://postimage.org/image/l2e4yblef/)
To which Gary has replied: -
Barman,
Thank you for this additional information. Matt is one of our top Tier 3 Technicians, I definitely know that he knows his stuff, but clearly the performance isn't acceptable to you, and that's the bottom line. I am going to ask my team to take another look at this today, to see what else we can look at on our end.
We'll be in touch shortly.
Gary
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When it says:-"Page created in 38.27 seconds with 21 queries."
Is that 21 out of the permitted 75,000, each time a page is opened, or have I got the wrong end of the stick?
If not, why so many?
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When it says:-"Page created in 38.27 seconds with 21 queries."
Is that 21 out of the permitted 75,000, each time a page is opened, or have I got the wrong end of the stick?
If not, why so many?
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Thought it was getting better then for a minute........ rubschin:
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A reply...
Hi Barman,
I have taken a closer look at the situation and I think I can provide a better level of detail, but it would probably be best to do that over the phone. I tried to call the number we have on file here, but it's not working for me. Can you please send me a good phone number I can reach you at?
Thank you,
Dan Gorman
Technical Support Manager
iPage Web Hosting
We're fucked for sure.... noooo:
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He called me from Ameriky! Shocked:
He says they do have some issues with our site...
He is going to send me some data he has collected...
I am going to delete all the 'add-on' software that we have...
then we are going to start from there...
As a result, you won't be able to add pictures to the site, link Youtube videos, etc. for a short while...
I'll keep you posted...
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He called me from Ameriky! Shocked:
He says they do have some issues with our site...
He is going to send me some data he has collected...
I am going to delete all the 'add-on' software that we have...
then we are going to start from there...
As a result, you won't be able to add pictures to the site, link Youtube videos, etc. for a short while...
I'll keep you posted...
It's gone slow again .......... evil:
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Oh, and no Amazon ads and no 'Donate' button - not that any fucker ever used it.... evil:
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Oh, and no Amazon ads and no 'Donate' button - not that any fucker ever used it.... evil:
No stupid count down banners,,,,,,,,,,,, rubschin:
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No stupid count down banners
I take it he has removed the spell-checker as well?
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Oh, and no Amazon ads and no 'Donate' button - not that any fucker ever used it.... evil:
angel1
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I couldn't get on at all ten minutes ago - now it is speedy-fast-quick! Shocked:
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Yargh: Yargh:
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Welcome! lol:
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lol: lol: lol:
Sorry you had to see me like that. redface:
That took me an hour!!!!!!!!!
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All tickety boo now. Thumbs:
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lol: lol: lol:
Sorry you had to see me like that. redface:
That took me an hour!!!!!!!!!
Lucky it was just an hour - I've been at it since 8am! cussing:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.virginmedia.com%2Fimages%2Fzippy431x300.jpg&hash=e90dbf87b5c72012b761ee11633d07b9e8317a29)
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Seems much quicker :thumbsup:
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Seems much quicker :thumbsup:
Don't say that! scared2:
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Seems much quicker :thumbsup:
Don't say that! scared2:
Just don't put the Donate button back and all will be fine. ;)
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Seems much quicker :thumbsup:
Don't say that! scared2:
Just don't put the Donate button back and all will be fine. ;)
sad24:
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happy100 awwwwww. I pledge 50c to the BM foundation.
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he ackhooly said that the site was up and down like your knickers whistle:
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he ackhooly said that the site was up and down like your knickers whistle:
redface:
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point:
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You filthy grass Nick! cussing:
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angel1
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I'm seeing what
I we can do to improve the performance of the forum (without throwing more munny at the problem)...
I've deleted a load of the old, non contributing members - their posts remain but they have sadly gone...
The reason for this is that the forum software has to update the database for each and every one of them when there is a new post - essentially a list of unread posts for people that haven't been here for years.
On that subject, can I ask you ALL to click the 'Mark ALL Posts As Read' button on the bottom right hand bit of the screen on a regular basis please? Again, the system will be keeping a log of all posts you have yet to read (and probably will never read) which apparently takes a significant amount of server time...
THANKS! Thumbs:
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I've read everyfink lol:
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So have I... and forgotten most of it redface:
And if barman would stop shouting "Affs!" every five minutes, that would really speed things up lol:
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I've read everyfink lol:
lol: lol: lol:
Are you sure...? There'll be a test at the end you know.... whistle:
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Bring it on :thumbsup:
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mebbe we should just delete all the avatarts and posts too Shrugs:
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mebbe we should just delete all the avatarts and posts too Shrugs:
Delete all of your accounts you say...? rubschin:
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mebbe we should just delete all the avatarts and posts too Shrugs:
Delete all of your accounts you say...? rubschin:
Shouldn't be any risk of overloading the servers with the 10 or so accounts that would be left. rubschin:
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Is it my eyes getting worse, or have the avatarts got smaller since whatever was done?
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Is it my eyes getting worse, or have the avatarts got smaller since whatever was done?
I think it is just because Nick's Dunces cap has got bigger... lol:
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lol: lol:
Seems quicker at the mo, seemed slower this morning, but a definite improvement on the past few days
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lol: lol:
Seems quicker at the mo, seemed slower this morning, but a definite improvement on the past few days
I know... fingers crossed eh...?
We'll leave it a bit longer before putting the add-ons back, um... on.... Thumbs:
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It seems a lot quicker since Nick has only been using one of his arms whistle:
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Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
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Is it just me, or am I getting a touch of dej evue (sp) here again. rubschin:
It's all going tits up again this last 48 hours, only particulary bad this morning. noooo:
The server encountered an unexpected condition which prevented it from fulfilling the request.
The script had an error or it did not produce any output. If there was an error, you should be able to see it in the error log.
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Gubbed again............. noooo:
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Is it just me, or am I getting a touch of dej evue (sp) here again. rubschin:
It's all going tits up again this last 48 hours, only particulary bad this morning. noooo:
The server encountered an unexpected condition which prevented it from fulfilling the request.
The script had an error or it did not produce any output. If there was an error, you should be able to see it in the error log.
Same here.
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Fuck all I can do about it from here I'm afraid... cussing:
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Fuck all I can do about it ... cussing:
Usual....... noooo:
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Fuck all I can do about it from here I'm afraid... cussing:
You are Gary, do I win £5 ;)
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evil:
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Banghead FFS! It's working fine now ..... but many sites are having problems, there is just not the capacity on their servers to deal with all the extra traffic Christmas creates. We are hosted on a shared service for financial reasons plain and simple and that means occasionally the service isn't all that we might wish but don't forget that most of you get it FREE, only a few donate anything toward the costs of the site. evil:
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^^^ i noticed how slow it was this morning, so as BM has asked in the past to monitor and report any issues, that's EXACTLY what I did....IF that's OK wih you like? whistle:
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^^^ i noticed how slow it was this morning, so as BM has asked in the past to monitor and report any issues, that's EXACTLY what I did....IF that's OK wih you like? whistle:
Certainly fine by me but why do you elect to assume that my post was a reply to you? It was a general observation for all to read after I had looked into the complaints. YOU were not the only one who commented, I received several emails and PM's. .... Sorry if you took offence at a perfectly normal and responsible admin post but I wanted the message that the matter had been investigated to go to all. No doubt BM will be raising it with the Hosts when he returns to Cyprus.
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^^^ i noticed how slow it was this morning, so as BM has asked in the past to monitor and report any issues, that's EXACTLY what I did....IF that's OK wih you like? whistle:
Certainly fine by me but why do you elect to assume that my post was a reply to you? It was a general observation for all to read after I had looked into the complaints. YOU were not the only one who commented, I received several emails and PM's. .... Sorry if you took offence at a perfectly normal and responsible admin post but I wanted the message that the matter had been investigated to go to all. No doubt BM will be raising it with the Hosts when he returns to Cyprus.
If we let him back in............... eveilgrin:
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^^^ i noticed how slow it was this morning, so as BM has asked in the past to monitor and report any issues, that's EXACTLY what I did....IF that's OK wih you like? whistle:
Certainly fine by me but why do you elect to assume that my post was a reply to you?
'Cus 1) I was the first one to make the observation and post it in HERE, and 2) if anyone is going to face the wrath of your frustration anger whatever, it's usually me, not that I'm suggesting for one moment that there's a vendetta against me.
I'm not 'willy waving btw', but i'd like to think that I have actually contributed some munny to this place over the past 18 months via my several purchases on the amazon link.
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Look old chum ...... Your paranoia is your problem and I am not here to help with that, though God knows I have tried.
NOBODY has a vendetta against you on this board, NOBODY is making sarky comments, NOBODY actually gives a flying fvck BECAUSE we all know that this is a virtual world where we come to have a laugh, take the p*ss and generally have fun with like minded people.
NOW here is a present from me to you, If you don't like reading my comments or those of anyone else go into your PROFILE pages and you'll find that you can block those people whose posts you don't wish to see. It may save you from feeling that we are all against you.
And as far as I am concerned that is the end of the matter.
Merry Christmas