The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 10:30:38 AM

Title: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 10:30:38 AM
Stamford Brook
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2012, 10:40:04 AM
Putting on his saucepan hat, he waddled on his back for a few miles until he fell over a tiny planet. He picked it up and threw back into space, where it bounced up and down every time the the volcano cried.
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2012, 10:41:28 AM
Shall we play the simplified so called 'Escalator' rules so Miss D can join in...?

If so, Golders Green!  eveilgrin:

Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 10:44:14 AM
Good plan BM  :thumbsup:

The Angel
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2012, 10:49:43 AM
Often when baking shoes my bath sinks in treacle.
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 10:51:45 AM
Miss D seems confused  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2012, 10:52:28 AM
Good plan BM  :thumbsup:

The Angel

Northern Line eh...?  rubschin:

Liverpool Street!  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 10:53:36 AM
Tooting Bec  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2012, 10:56:05 AM
Marylebone!  point:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 10:58:16 AM
Amersham  evil:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2012, 11:01:54 AM
Amersham  evil:

 point:

I think we can side-step to Greenford from there don't you? happy001
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 11:09:16 AM
 cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 07, 2012, 11:18:38 AM
Ooo excellent escalator rules means that I can go directly to Ealing Broadway. eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2012, 11:21:50 AM
Bah!  Banghead
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on March 07, 2012, 11:23:32 AM
Waterloo!
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2012, 11:30:20 AM
Aha! - Paddington!  cool14:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on March 07, 2012, 11:33:06 AM
Bank
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2012, 11:36:39 AM
Mornington Crescent!  point:

 cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2012, 12:36:02 PM
On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!

Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on March 07, 2012, 12:45:41 PM
Aha! Since we seem to be playing the literary variant of the rules . . . . .

"Once upon a time
When the birds shit lime
And the monkeys chewed tobacco
There came a little bird
With a feather up his arse.
Well, the wind blew North
And the wind blew South
And the wind blew straight
From his arse to his mouth!"

Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 07, 2012, 12:57:37 PM
Umm I don't think so BM.  We are playing with 'escalator' rules.

While the original rules of Mornington Crescent (as laid down by the International Mornington Crescent Society) have been enjoyed by many players over the years, many variations and versions have been developed to spice things up a bit. The following are some that have been played on the show over the years.

ESCALATOR RULES.

1. A player can only go to Oxford Street when another player has been released from 'Nibb' and gone directly to Oxford Circus.

2. All WC postcodes count double, but cannot be followed by a consecutive WC code. Crescents are wild as rule 42 is of course suspended.


3. A player may not go to Mornington Crescent when the preceding player is at Bank.  Anyone who mentions Mornington Crescent after Bank must miss two turns.

Game on I'm afraid.....

Pinner

Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 07, 2012, 01:02:33 PM
BM you were warned about slipping Nick's medication into Miss D's voddy. Have you forgotten what happened last time?  nonono:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2012, 01:07:02 PM
As I was going out one day
My head fell off and rolled away,
But when I saw that it was gone,
I picked it up and put it on.

And when I got into the street
A fellow cried 'Look at your feet!'
I looked at them and sadly said
'I've left them both asleep in bed!'

Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: barmisspah? on March 07, 2012, 01:45:41 PM
Oxford Circus
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on March 07, 2012, 02:53:19 PM
Leicester Square
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 02:56:37 PM
Baron's Court  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 07, 2012, 02:57:29 PM
Double -six.......... rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on March 07, 2012, 03:11:55 PM
Green Park
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 03:12:38 PM
Double -six.......... rubschin:
Spank2:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 03:13:24 PM
Green Park

Damned clever move  rubschin:

Holborn  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2012, 03:25:14 PM
Umm I don't think so BM.  We are playing with 'escalator' rules.

While the original rules of Mornington Crescent (as laid down by the International Mornington Crescent Society) have been enjoyed by many players over the years, many variations and versions have been developed to spice things up a bit. The following are some that have been played on the show over the years.

ESCALATOR RULES.

1. A player can only go to Oxford Street when another player has been released from 'Nibb' and gone directly to Oxford Circus.

2. All WC postcodes count double, but cannot be followed by a consecutive WC code. Crescents are wild as rule 42 is of course suspended.


3. A player may not go to Mornington Crescent when the preceding player is at Bank.  Anyone who mentions Mornington Crescent after Bank must miss two turns.

Game on I'm afraid.....

Pinner

 sad24:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Pastis on March 07, 2012, 04:47:44 PM
Green Park

Damned clever move  rubschin:

Holborn  :thumbsup:

Mile End   whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 04:49:36 PM
Clapham North  noooo:

(best I can do)
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Pastis on March 07, 2012, 04:52:55 PM
Shame you cancelled out your double points by going South of the River. I'll double back and go Charing Cross  razz:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 04:55:40 PM
Goodge Street
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2012, 05:29:15 PM
Be bop a loo la
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 05:33:35 PM
Be bop a loo la
Spank2:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Misty on March 07, 2012, 05:39:17 PM
I dont get it!   angry041:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2012, 05:39:44 PM
Ma nam a nam ....do do do doo da ....ma nam a nam  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Pastis on March 07, 2012, 05:40:54 PM
Goodge Street

Didn't we get rather pi$$ed at an Italian restaurant near Goodge Street?   rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 05:42:22 PM
No, Lamb's Conduit Street  angel1

Anyhoo: Kentish |Town
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2012, 05:43:43 PM
I dont get it!   angry041:

Me neither ....just go for the annoy option with me  ;)
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 05:47:03 PM
 Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Misty on March 07, 2012, 05:47:36 PM
I dont get it!   angry041:

Me neither ....just go for the annoy option with me  ;)

 :thumbsup: Gotcha.

Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Pastis on March 07, 2012, 05:50:35 PM
No, Lamb's Conduit Street  angel1

Anyhoo: Kentish |Town

Yeah but, Lamb's Conduit Street isn't a Tube station is it?   ::)

Anyhoo, Leicester Square  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 05:53:15 PM
Highbury and Islington  eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Misty on March 07, 2012, 05:55:57 PM
stoopid game!!! angry041:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 05:58:13 PM
Just learn the roolz  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Pastis on March 07, 2012, 06:03:08 PM
Bugger.   Hmmm ...  rubschin:

Aha!   Acton Town!   (avoiding the  Olympic upgrade)
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 06:04:34 PM
Ealing Common  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Just One More on March 07, 2012, 06:34:21 PM
 Shrugs:

I'm with Miss D and Miss T   cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 06:38:31 PM
 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 07, 2012, 07:00:33 PM
Ealing Common  whistle:


Ooopo sneaky and somewhat underhand this means that the 'tweek' option can be used so....Kentish town West.

This means that we now have to go in reverse order we are very close to slipping into the Armitage Shanks variation and if we do that it is sure to end in tears. noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2012, 07:05:58 PM
You are right  redface:

East Ham  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 07, 2012, 07:32:34 PM
Shrugs:

I'm with Miss D and Miss T   cloud9:

   venice............ eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2012, 08:28:49 PM
Are we still playing Escalator diversion or not? Shrugs:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2012, 09:33:25 PM
Shrugs:

I'm with Miss D and Miss T   cloud9:

   venice............ eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:

No ...that is Tipsy and Miss T

Miss D and Miss T are JOM's comrades in arms  ;)

Don't break my heart, my achy breaky heart , I just don't think it'd understand , and if you tell my heart , my achy breaky heart ............
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Just One More on March 07, 2012, 09:35:38 PM
Any more earworm's like that young lady and you'll be out on yer arse  cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2012, 09:37:14 PM
Blue moon ....moon , moon , moon , moon , you saw me standing alone  lol:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 07, 2012, 09:38:48 PM
Blue moon ....moon , moon , moon , moon , you saw me standing alone  lol:

Don't go breaking my heart ........... whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2012, 09:41:27 PM
Turn around bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart  ( repeat) but i need you now tonight and I need you more than ever , and if you only hold me tight ............
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 07, 2012, 09:58:34 PM
In the jungle the might jungle ,the lion sleeps tonight .......... whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Misty on March 07, 2012, 10:00:13 PM
Aweeeeeeeeee...umbum..bum.bum..bumbaway!!!!
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Pirate on March 07, 2012, 10:18:50 PM
As I was going out one day
My head fell off and rolled away,
But when I saw that it was gone,
I picked it up and put it on.

And when I got into the street
A fellow cried 'Look at your feet!'
I looked at them and sadly said
'I've left them both asleep in bed!'



One bright morning in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back-to-back they faced one another,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
One was blind and the other couldn't see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came and killed those two dead boys.
A paralyzed donkey walking by,
Kicked the copper in the eye,
Sent him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
(If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Pirate on March 07, 2012, 10:19:14 PM
What is this shite...
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 07, 2012, 10:20:09 PM
An ear worm thread ,,,,,,,,,, rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Just One More on March 08, 2012, 06:55:59 AM
I didn't mind any of them  cloud9:

I know a song that'll get on yer nerves, get on yer nerves, get on yer nerves.....
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2012, 07:43:35 AM
Morden
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Just One More on March 08, 2012, 07:57:08 AM
Mornin'

Have you got a cold. Say, "second class return to Nottingham please"
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 08, 2012, 08:06:19 AM
Mornin'

Have you got a cold. Say, "second class return to Nottingham please"

Ooohhhh..... Is it time for my Freudian slip joke?  ;D
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2012, 08:12:50 AM
My lovely thread  sad24:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 08, 2012, 08:17:24 AM
My lovely thread  sad24:

I'll take that as a 'yes'!  :thumbsup:

A man in the office chuckling to himself when a colleague comes in and asks what is so funny…

‘I made a rather embarrassing Freudian slip this morning’, he replies.

‘What’s a Freudian slip’ asks the rather dim colleague.

‘Well, I was queuing for my train ticket this morning when I noticed that the girl serving behind the counter had enormous breasts.

When I got to the front of the queue to be served I was a little flustered and instead of asking for a ticket to tooting, I asked for a ticket to titting. You see, that’s a Freudian slip when you are thinking of something else and say the wrong thing’.

‘Oh I see’ says the colleague.

The next day, somewhat predictably it was the colleague sitting in the office laughing to himself and the other worker who has to ask him what is so funny.

‘Well, you know you told me about that Freudian slip thing yesterday? I made one myself this morning’.

‘What happened?’ asked the startled man.

‘Well, I was sitting having breakfast with the Mrs. this morning and instead of asking her to pass the milk I said ‘"you’ve ruined my whole life you fat ugly bitch.’’


happy001
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 08, 2012, 08:24:45 AM
My lovely thread  sad24:


 happy100 happy100  I was playing nicely.
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 08, 2012, 08:41:50 AM
My lovely thread  sad24:


 happy100 happy100  I was playing nicely.

And I brought it nicely back onto track (see what I did there?) with my joke about the ticket office!  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 08, 2012, 10:16:41 AM
We buy any car dot com
We buy any car dot com
Any
Any
Any
Any
We buy any car dot com
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2012, 10:40:18 AM
 angry041:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 08, 2012, 10:47:48 AM
It is time to play secret Mornington Crescent I think. 8)
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 08, 2012, 11:17:31 AM
It is time to play secret Mornington Crescent I think. 8)

Keep it underground like?
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2012, 11:18:28 AM
Let's start again  ::)

Ealing Broadway
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 08, 2012, 11:20:26 AM
Mornington Crescent

(using the little know Miss D "Let's nip this in the bud" rule)
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2012, 11:21:17 AM
 Yargh:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 08, 2012, 11:22:13 AM
 ;)
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 08, 2012, 11:22:53 AM
Memories like the corners of my mind, misty water - coloured memories
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 08, 2012, 11:25:59 AM
The Way We Were.
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Barman on March 08, 2012, 11:29:59 AM
It is time to play secret Mornington Crescent I think. 8)

Keep it underground like?

 drumroll:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Just One More on March 08, 2012, 05:02:04 PM
Agreed  drumroll:  drumroll:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2012, 05:05:52 PM
Miss D will get a thorough spanking next time I see her.  Meanwhile a saner thread exists  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 08, 2012, 06:45:35 PM
The Jam - Going Underground (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE1ct5yEuVY#)
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2012, 07:13:48 PM
 Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Title: Re: The all new Mornington Crescent thread
Post by: Pirate on March 08, 2012, 09:35:04 PM
The Jam - Going Underground (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE1ct5yEuVY#)

 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: