The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Pirate on March 11, 2012, 07:59:28 PM

Title: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Pirate on March 11, 2012, 07:59:28 PM
A tart who lives over the other side of the road has a bath every night. The bathroom has frosted glass, but no curtains or blind.

Every time she has a bath she lights something like an oil burner or something and puts it on the windowsill, undresses then gets in the bath. So far?...

My question...The oil burner has real big flame like, not like you get from a tea light but a lot bigger, almost like a log fire...anyone know what it is...

(Stands back for all manner of sarky comments and innuendoes)
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Barman on March 11, 2012, 08:02:38 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbardcityblog.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F10%2Famsterdam-7599.jpg&hash=11c470e3d9585108994b6f3298c6ebd45b1000bf)
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 11, 2012, 08:02:52 PM
One of these perhaps ?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimglanding%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2F174.123.135.195%2Fuploads05%2F23%2FY%2FL55580618987.jpg%26amp%3Bsa%3DX%26amp%3Bei%3DwQRdT63NEMaR0AWg3am2Bg%26amp%3Bved%3D0CAwQ8wc%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNE0nfjLdYxu37zqlR-oTtKu6-jEZQ&hash=59b08f74d59a4e09058b328626decc3657d51f11)
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: apc2010 on March 11, 2012, 08:05:43 PM
Don't you need 2 hands to use the telescope.......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Nick on March 11, 2012, 08:15:58 PM
Don't you need 2 hands to use the telescope.......... rubschin:
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001

Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Pirate on March 11, 2012, 08:24:33 PM
Don't you need 2 hands to use the telescope.......... rubschin:
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001



Fools... ::)

the telescope is on a tripod...so is the camera...
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 12, 2012, 01:42:16 PM
Don't you need 2 hands to use the telescope.......... rubschin:
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001



Fools... ::)

the telescope is on a tripod...so is the camera...

So is their user I expect.
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on March 12, 2012, 01:46:39 PM
Don't you need 2 hands to use the telescope.......... rubschin:
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001



Fools... ::)

the telescope is on a tripod...so is the camera...


So is their user I expect.


If you'd said "is" a tripod, you'd now be on the receiving end of one of these:   drumroll:

Howver, you didn't, so the best I can offer is:     ;D
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2012, 02:27:00 PM
Don't you need 2 hands to use the telescope.......... rubschin:
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001



Fools... ::)

the telescope is on a tripod...so is the camera...


So is their user I expect.


If you'd said "is" a tripod, you'd now be on the receiving end of one of these:   drumroll:

Howver, you didn't, so the best I can offer is:     ;D

Ooohhh.... harsh....  rubschin:
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on March 12, 2012, 02:48:53 PM
Don't you need 2 hands to use the telescope.......... rubschin:
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001



Fools... ::)

the telescope is on a tripod...so is the camera...


So is their user I expect.


If you'd said "is" a tripod, you'd now be on the receiving end of one of these:   drumroll:

Howver, you didn't, so the best I can offer is:     ;D

Ooohhh.... harsh....  rubschin:

. . but fair I feel, in so far, there was a real missed opportunity there!
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Pastis on March 12, 2012, 04:47:26 PM
Silk flame lamp?

silk fire lamps - realistic flame lighting without the fire! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZeTM694HNA#)
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2012, 05:15:01 PM
Praps she uses Vic rub or Vapona or whatnot?
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Pirate on March 12, 2012, 06:00:15 PM
 Shrugs:
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2012, 06:05:50 PM
Pop over and ask her if you are man enough. Take a candle as a present  angel1
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2012, 06:11:14 PM
Pop over and ask her if you are man enough. Take a candle as a present  angel1

When the restraining order expires like....  whistle:
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Pirate on March 12, 2012, 06:14:28 PM
Pop over and ask her if you are man enough. Take a candle as a present  angel1

 noooo:...Married with a young baby...
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on March 12, 2012, 06:20:40 PM
You need to get out more.  noooo:
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2012, 06:21:58 PM
You need to get out more.  noooo:

When his curfew and tagging order are finished like...?
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2012, 06:22:56 PM
You need to get out more.  noooo:
I do  :dogrun: :dogrun: :dogrun: :dogrun:

Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on March 12, 2012, 06:27:48 PM
You need to get out more.  noooo:
I do  :dogrun: :dogrun: :dogrun: :dogrun:

Barking
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2012, 06:34:10 PM
Mornington Crescent
Title: Re: Question for the ladies...
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on March 13, 2012, 10:04:38 AM
Nick - you can be Barking mad, but, I've yet to hear anyone referred to as Mornington Crescent mad!

Also, dogs Bark, they don't Mornington Cres.

Tooting