The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: TG on February 05, 2013, 06:56:09 PM
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Right. I am a GP's receptionist. This means I have the personality of a Rottweiler and know loads about doctoring, more in fact than a doctor and Google combined.
Ask me your NHS related and medical questions and I shall give you sage advice then tell you to fuck off.
Go on. Dont just stand there... ASK ME. My nails wont do themselves.
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Right. I am a GP's receptionist. This means I have the personality of a Rottweiler and know loads about doctoring, more in fact than a doctor and Google combined.
Ask me your NHS related and medical questions and I shall give you sage advice then tell you to fuck off.
Go on. Dont just stand there... ASK ME. My nails wont do themselves.
Been the quacks today 'ave we then ey TG? lol:
Shoulder prob. by any chance? whistle:
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No. I work there. If I need medical treatment I will google it. Next.
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Do you do repeat prescriptions?
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Just in case there is any doubt I REALLY AM A GP's RECEPTIONIST.
NEXT!
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Just in case there is any doubt I REALLY AM A GP's RECEPTIONIST.
NEXT!
Well in that case, will it be ok if i call you a total twat then please? lol:
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Do you do repeat prescriptions?
Only if you appear in person and ask REALLY nicely and don't be unreasonable if told to fuck off.
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Just in case there is any doubt I REALLY AM A GP's RECEPTIONIST.
NEXT!
Well in that case, will it be ok if i call you a total twat then please? lol:
It is fine. Now please fuck off.
NEXT!
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Haven't you lot all be superseded by those booking screens now?
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What do you recommend for Bougainvillea related injuries....? sad24:
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Haven't you lot all be superseded by those booking screens now?
They are not fit for purpose. They cannot sneer at people in the correct fashion for a start. I find I prefer to talk to people myself. After all, where is the satisfaction in being told to fuck off by a computer screen eh?
I said 'EH?'Are you listening?
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Haven't you lot all be superseded by those booking screens now?
I had a a barney with the snotty cow of a receptionist about those heaps of germ ridden shit two visits ago. cussing:
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What do you recommend for Bougainvillea related injuries....? sad24:
Man up and stop bothering me. NEXT!
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Haven't you lot all be superseded by those booking screens now?
I had a a barney with the snotty cow of a receptionist about those heaps of germ ridden shit two visits ago. cussing:
Well stop spreading germs over them then. I wouldn't touch the thing myself.
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What do you recommend for Bougainvillea related injuries....? sad24:
Man up and stop bothering me. NEXT!
Weed killer you say....? rubschin:
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What do you recommend for Bougainvillea related injuries....? sad24:
Man up and stop bothering me. NEXT!
Weed killer you say....? rubschin:
What time would you like an appointment?
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What do you recommend for Bougainvillea related injuries....? sad24:
Man up and stop bothering me. NEXT!
Weed killer you say....? rubschin:
What time would you like an appointment?
Ointment??? No, WEED KILLER ::)
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What do you recommend for Bougainvillea related injuries....? sad24:
Man up and stop bothering me. NEXT!
Weed killer you say....? rubschin:
What time would you like an appointment?
Ointment??? No, WEED KILLER ::)
Please fuck off. X
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What do you recommend for Bougainvillea related injuries....? sad24:
Man up and stop bothering me. NEXT!
Weed killer you say....? rubschin:
What time would you like an appointment?
Ointment??? No, WEED KILLER ::)
Please fuck off. X
I am off fucking even as I type! Thumbs:
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We done? Call me tomorrow if your health collapses overnight.
If you cant wait drag yourself to a hospital an check out secondary care.
And remember, if your friendly receptionist is playing Angry Birds when you present yourself please wait until they have finished the current level before speaking.
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You had a particulary bad day today then TG? rubschin:
you seem somewhat...... rubschin: tetchy?
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We done? Call me tomorrow if your health collapses overnight.
If you cant wait drag yourself to a hospital an check out secondary care.
And remember, if your friendly receptionist is playing Angry Birds when you present yourself please wait until they have finished the current level before speaking.
I shall call you at midnight and demand a doctor attends my wounds.... whistle:
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We done? Call me tomorrow if your health collapses overnight.
If you cant wait drag yourself to a hospital an check out secondary care.
And remember, if your friendly receptionist is playing Angry Birds when you present yourself please wait until they have finished the current level before speaking.
I shall call you at midnight and demand a doctor attends my wounds.... whistle:
You shall thence be transferred to the world famous Out Of Hours service. They will laugh at your wounds and sneer at your pathetic appeals for help. They will tell you to call your GP in the morning.
Who will tell you to fuck off.
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You were outside having a smoke when I brought my stool sample in. I put it on your telephone so you wouldn't miss it.
Sorry I misplaced the lid.
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We done? Call me tomorrow if your health collapses overnight.
If you cant wait drag yourself to a hospital an check out secondary care.
And remember, if your friendly receptionist is playing Angry Birds when you present yourself please wait until they have finished the current level before speaking.
I shall call you at midnight and demand a doctor attends my wounds.... whistle:
You shall thence be transferred to the world famous Out Of Hours service. They will laugh at your wounds and sneer at your pathetic appeals for help. They will tell you to call your GP in the morning.
Who will tell you to fuck off.
Didn't actually realise that the NHS GP surgery's had stooped to this new level now tbqatth. eeek:
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You were outside having a smoke when I brought my stool sample in. I put it on your telephone so you wouldn't miss it.
Sorry I misplaced the lid.
happy001
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Dear TG please can you prescribe some of the vanishing cream that you have been using for the last couple of years?
No? OK I'll just fuck off then. sad24:
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No? OK I'll just fuck off then. sad24:
Shocked:
This from the sweet little old lady who types "shi@@ing" eeek:
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No? OK I'll just fuck off then. sad24:
Shocked:
This from the sweet little old lady who types "shi@@ing" eeek:
happy001
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You were outside having a smoke when I brought my stool sample in. I put it on your telephone so you wouldn't miss it.
Sorry I misplaced the lid.
How rude. Shocked:
Your record shall be marked in big red letters 'nasty bugger, always see last and lose his prescription requests'
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I am still wounded like....
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I am still wounded like....
Next appointment 24th april at 4.30. Please cancel appointment if you die/recover beforehand.
NEXT!
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I think we need a triage nurse... eyes:
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I think we need a triage nurse... eyes:
That would be me as well. And I just diagnosed YOU. noooo:
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I think we need a triage nurse... eyes:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthenonconformer.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F03%2F0triage-nurse11.jpg%3Fw%3D640&hash=83203cdda31824f4cd964937daeeb4f412c51502)
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I think we need a triage nurse... eyes:
That would be me as well. And I just diagnosed YOU. noooo:
No, a triage nurse that looks like this: - eyes:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs8.postimage.org%2F8twfa0loh%2Fnurse.jpg&hash=0d70d3abba4ee2e7599b7a45b73e002de6a13022) (http://postimage.org/image/8twfa0loh/)
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Where did you get my picture from?
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Where did you get my picture from?
I'm sure she doesn't have a potty mouth.... noooo:
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What can you do about frozen shoulders? rubschin:
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What can you do about frozen shoulders? rubschin:
The Triage nurse will talk durty to you.... eyes:
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Today, I am embracing a new NHS initiative called 'Not swearing at
fuc patients' it will no doubt encourage mutual respect between peasa patient and surgery staff.
I shall review this policy at the end of the day.
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Today, I am embracing a new NHS initiative called 'Not swearing at fuc patients' it will no doubt encourage mutual respect between peasa patient and surgery staff.
I shall review this policy at the end of the day.
It will end in tears... noooo:
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What can you do about frozen shoulders? rubschin:
Set fire to you.
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Today, I am embracing a new NHS initiative called 'Not swearing at fuc patients' it will no doubt encourage mutual respect between peasa patient and surgery staff.
I shall review this policy at the end of the day.
It will end in tears... noooo:
Polite tears no doubt. The 'group hug' initiative will be along soon so all will be well.
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What can you do about frozen shoulders? rubschin:
Set fire to you.
Nah....
He needs the Triage Nurse to give him a pain killing injection.... whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs18.postimage.org%2Fjjtv6v5r9%2FLadies_999_Sexy_Nurse_Costume.jpg&hash=8148b2f0a645725acc0a8418ffcebd52debce0ae) (http://postimage.org/image/jjtv6v5r9/)
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You were outside having a smoke when I brought my stool sample in. I put it on your telephone so you wouldn't miss it.
Sorry I misplaced the lid.
How rude. Shocked:
Your record shall be marked in big red letters 'nasty bugger, always see last and lose his prescription requests'
In a less foul mood tonight then ey you TG, yous miserable owld twat? ::)