The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on February 23, 2013, 03:00:33 PM
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Admit it, we've all thought about it eveilgrin:
Conversation in the real pub today turned to this subject. One chap had some fantasy about a gang of Father Christmases (at Christmas) doing a bank job and then splitting up into various department stores ::)
ANother had an idea about a gang dressed as Plod foiling a fake bank robbery and seizing the money as evidence rubschin:
Mine involves a murder of a gentleman in Putney and is flawless apart from some technical problems. Armed with a Phaser Gun and a Star Trek stylee Transporter I could beam from anywhere to Putney, vaporise the chappy, and beam back to, say, um, Nottingham, in the blink of an eye. The Plod would be baffled :thumbsup:
So what is your perfect crime and how would you do it?
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Stab someone with a knife made out of ice - no merder weapon! Thumbs:
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rubschin: rubschin:
Who is the intended victim?
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rubschin: rubschin:
Who is the intended victim?
Shrugs:
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rubschin: rubschin:
Who is the intended victim?
Can we all ponder on that one for a lickle while....a VERY lickle while like? rubschin:
point:
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When I first got into the security industry this was a game often used to while away the long night shifts guarding some God-forsaken hole in the ground (yes, on occasions, a literal hole in the ground)
Anyway a colleague and I once set out to plan the perfect robbery.
Firstly you need to understand the general geography of the area and town centre lay out of Milton Keynes.
MK has a number of banks and Building Societies that encircle the pedestrian shopping area which is in turn linked to major roads that lead out of the town in each direction. One can, in a "reasonably price car", access the M1 heading North or South with a choice of junctions 13, 14 or 15. Also available is easy access to the A5 again heading North or South. Both A5 and M1 have numerous exits routes to East and West. It is easy to be out of MK and speeding away on a dual carriageway in any chosen direction and you can be in North London, Birmingham, Nottingham, Derby and many other major centres within 40 minutes.
So the plan is to get a gang together of say 20 people. Divide them into pairs and at a given time hit 10 banks/bld socs at exactly the same time. Best time would be at Police shift hand-over time .... say 2pm on a Friday. Each pair having done their hold-up would drive out of MK by a pre-agreed route.
When one alarm went off in MK Central Police Station a second, third, fourth etc alarm would also "ALERT". The switchboard operator would assume a fault as it is unknown that all alarms would go off together. The police operator would revert to "testing the system" and by the time they had achieved telephone contact with all the branches concerned the gang members would be motoring on any one of ten different routes and by our estimate have at least a 15 minute start over the rozzers. First place Old Bill is going to look is among the "usual suspects" and none of the gang would be local criminals. Taking only used notes and given that local shops and stores would have paid in the weekend takings, mostly in cash, the haul would be hooooge. So long as the gang never met up again as a group and given suitable cut-outs between each pair it looked to us like a good scheme.
Given that we had some pre-knowledge of the alarm systems and police procedures (which I am not going to disclose) we reckoned this would be as foolproof as anyone could make it.
Having played out our game we forgot about it until some 6 months later this self same plan was put into operation and succeeded in Johannesburg. eeek:
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rubschin:
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The best ones ........you hardly ever find out about ...
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rubschin: rubschin:
Who is the intended victim?
Shrugs:
Is this a group effort cos I can supply one or two victims. rubschin:
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When I first got into the security industry this was a game often used to while away the long night shifts guarding some God-forsaken hole in the ground (yes, on occasions, a literal hole in the ground)
Anyway a colleague and I once set out to plan the perfect robbery. . . .So the plan is to get a gang together of say 20 people. Divide them into pairs and at a given time hit 10 banks/bld socs at exactly the same time. . . .
Ah the Doolin Dalton gang Coffeyville cunning plan on steroids. A total truck up for them but at least the Eagles got a good song out of it.
. . .Is this a group effort cos I can supply one or two victims. rubschin:
Not me Tipsy scared2:, please take Boogs instead.
Oh you already have - ah well
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When I first got into the security industry this was a game often used to while away the long night shifts guarding some God-forsaken hole in the ground (yes, on occasions, a literal hole in the ground)
Anyway a colleague and I once set out to plan the perfect robbery. . . .So the plan is to get a gang together of say 20 people. Divide them into pairs and at a given time hit 10 banks/bld socs at exactly the same time. . . .
Ah the Doolin Dalton gang Coffeyville cunning plan on steroids. A total truck up for them but at least the Eagles got a good song out of it.
. . .Is this a group effort cos I can supply one or two victims. rubschin:
Not me Tipsy scared2:, please take Boogs instead.
Oh you already have - ah well
Oh you and Boog is safe I take longer to make my mind up about folk than that.....
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Yes so it was Whacko and the Major then
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Poison fluffy sox? scared2: It's like the Duchess of Malfi scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:
DS will explain ::)
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When I first got into the security industry this was a game often used to while away the long night shifts guarding some God-forsaken hole in the ground (yes, on occasions, a literal hole in the ground)
Anyway a colleague and I once set out to plan the perfect robbery. . . .So the plan is to get a gang together of say 20 people. Divide them into pairs and at a given time hit 10 banks/bld socs at exactly the same time. . . .
Ah the Doolin Dalton gang Coffeyville cunning plan on steroids. A total truck up for them but at least the Eagles got a good song out of it.
. . .Is this a group effort cos I can supply one or two victims. rubschin:
Not me Tipsy scared2:, please take Boogs instead.
Oh you already have - ah well
Oh you and Boog is safe I take longer to make my mind up about folk than that.....
How long? scared2:
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Poison fluffy sox? scared2: It's like the Duchess of Malfi scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:
DS will explain ::)
noooo: Too English, Too Ripper Street ( evil: ::))
I would prefer poisoned truffles, more Pierre Magnan style. Whispering woods with rustling leaves. DS can explain if he wants to? Shrugs:
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Poison fluffy sox? scared2: It's like the Duchess of Malfi scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:
DS will explain ::)
noooo: Too English, Too Ripper Street ( evil: ::))
I would prefer poisoned truffles, more Pierre Magnan style. Whispering woods with rustling leaves. DS can explain if he wants to? Shrugs:
Why am I suddenly being drawn in to explain the references of the literati to the state-educated members?
Just put in a Wikipedia link and that should suffice for them.
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Poison fluffy sox? scared2: It's like the Duchess of Malfi scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:
DS will explain ::)
noooo: Too English, Too Ripper Street ( evil: ::))
I would prefer poisoned truffles, more Pierre Magnan style. Whispering woods with rustling leaves. DS can explain if he wants to? Shrugs:
Why am I suddenly being drawn in to explain the references of the literati to the state-educated members?
Just put in a Wikipedia link and that should suffice for them.
Oh noes.... noooo:
Uncle looks over his glasses and says we can't use it.....
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Poison fluffy sox? scared2: It's like the Duchess of Malfi scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:
DS will explain ::)
noooo: Too English, Too Ripper Street ( evil: ::))
I would prefer poisoned truffles, more Pierre Magnan style. Whispering woods with rustling leaves. DS can explain if he wants to? Shrugs:
Why am I suddenly being drawn in to explain the references of the literati to the state-educated members?
Just put in a Wikipedia link and that should suffice for them.
Oh noes.... noooo:
Uncle looks over his glasses and says we can't use it.....
That is more like it. :thumbsup:
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Nothing wrong with checking with Wiki. Just don't take it as gospel. (not that I take the Gospel as gospel)
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Nothing wrong with checking with Wiki. Just don't take it as gospel. (not that I take the Gospel as gospel)
Quite so, nothing is carved in stone.
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Nothing wrong with checking with Wiki. Just don't take it as gospel. (not that I take the Gospel as gospel)
Quite so, nothing is carved in stone.
lol: lol: lol:
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Why haven't WE got a page on Wiki?
There's some rubbish in there about someone called Kirsty Hawkshaw (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirsty_Hawkshaw) who has built a Virtual Pub but it's a rip off isn't it
Perfect Crime: I woud train a gun dog to live up to its name (least we can expect surely) and tell to sit by the M25 and shoot someone seen hogging the middle lane and then scarper
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Middle Lane Hoggers in Nissan Micras cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Why haven't WE got a page on Wiki?
There's some rubbish in there about someone called Kirsty Hawkshaw (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirsty_Hawkshaw) who has built a Virtual Pub but it's a rip off isn't it
Perfect Crime: I woud train a gun dog to live up to its name (least we can expect surely) and tell to sit by the M25 and shoot someone seen hogging the middle lane and then scarper
A page on Wiki you say...? rubschin:
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Why haven't WE got a page on Wiki?
There's some rubbish in there about someone called Kirsty Hawkshaw (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirsty_Hawkshaw) who has built a Virtual Pub but it's a rip off isn't it
Perfect Crime: I woud train a gun dog to live up to its name (least we can expect surely) and tell to sit by the M25 and shoot someone seen hogging the middle lane and then scarper
A page on Wiki you say...? rubschin:
UNCLE..........
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Wot?
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Wot?
Ignore him Uncle... ::)
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Why haven't WE got a page on Wiki?
There's some rubbish in there about someone called Kirsty Hawkshaw (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirsty_Hawkshaw) who has built a Virtual Pub but it's a rip off isn't it
Perfect Crime: I woud train a gun dog to live up to its name (least we can expect surely) and tell to sit by the M25 and shoot someone seen hogging the middle lane and then scarper
A page on Wiki you say...? rubschin:
UNCLE..........
Wot?
There he is, on the case within minutes.
He may sit quietly in the corner with a pint of mild, but in truth, he is like a coiled spring. :thumbsup:
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Why haven't WE got a page on Wiki?
There's some rubbish in there about someone called Kirsty Hawkshaw (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirsty_Hawkshaw) who has built a Virtual Pub but it's a rip off isn't it
Perfect Crime: I woud train a gun dog to live up to its name (least we can expect surely) and tell to sit by the M25 and shoot someone seen hogging the middle lane and then scarper
A page on Wiki you say...? rubschin:
UNCLE..........
Wot?
There he is, on the case within minutes.
He may sit quietly in the corner with a pint of mild, but in truth, he is like a coiled spring. :thumbsup:
I don't know how we'd manage without him... noooo:
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Why haven't WE got a page on Wiki?
There's some rubbish in there about someone called Kirsty Hawkshaw (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirsty_Hawkshaw) who has built a Virtual Pub but it's a rip off isn't it
Perfect Crime: I woud train a gun dog to live up to its name (least we can expect surely) and tell to sit by the M25 and shoot someone seen hogging the middle lane and then scarper
A page on Wiki you say...? rubschin:
Given some of the posts on here wouldn't it be less wiki and more Wackopedia? rubschin: