The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on August 07, 2013, 01:10:39 PM
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I go to the right department and hunt around. Can't find it. Eventually locate operative and ask for item. "We don't sell that anymore," she barks.
I hunt around and find it!! I take it to her to pay. "Yes, you do," I say.
She gathers her colleagues round who all declare their astonishment. noooo:
I head to the next department. I point at an item on display and say that I need two of them. She checks the stock noooo: "Sorrym we only have one in stock."
Me: "That's OK, I can take the one from stock and this one too."
Her: "No, that is for display."
Me: "So why display something that is out of stock? I will take both."
She refuses and I demand to see a manager.
He lets me buy both items. Operative scowls.
Incredibly, this was in John Lewis, a shop I also had a nightmare time in last month in Southampton. evil:
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I go to the right department and hunt around. Can't find it. Eventually locate operative and ask for item. "We don't sell that anymore," she barks.
I hunt around and find it!! I take it to her to pay. "Yes, you do," I say.
She gathers her colleagues round who all declare their astonishment. noooo:
I head to the next department. I point at an item on display and say that I need two of them. She checks the stock noooo: "Sorrym we only have one in stock."
Me: "That's OK, I can take the one from stock and this one too."
Her: "No, that is for display."
Me: "So why display something that is out of stock? I will take both."
She refuses and I demand to see a manager.
He lets me buy both items. Operative scowls.
Incredibly, this was in John Lewis, a shop I also had a nightmare time in last month in Southampton. evil:
lol: lol: lol:
Southampton prolly sent out warnings.... whistle:
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I go to the right department and hunt around. Can't find it. Eventually locate operative and ask for item. "We don't sell that anymore," she barks.
I hunt around and find it!! I take it to her to pay. "Yes, you do," I say.
She gathers her colleagues round who all declare their astonishment. noooo:
I head to the next department. I point at an item on display and say that I need two of them. She checks the stock noooo: "Sorrym we only have one in stock."
Me: "That's OK, I can take the one from stock and this one too."
Her: "No, that is for display."
Me: "So why display something that is out of stock? I will take both."
She refuses and I demand to see a manager.
He lets me buy both items. Operative scowls.
Incredibly, this was in John Lewis, a shop I also had a nightmare time in last month in Southampton. evil:
lol: lol: lol:
Southampton prolly sent out warnings.... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
still, he got his matching fluffy cushions.
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I go to the right department and hunt around. Can't find it. Eventually locate operative and ask for item. "We don't sell that anymore," she barks.
I hunt around and find it!! I take it to her to pay. "Yes, you do," I say.
She gathers her colleagues round who all declare their astonishment. noooo:
I head to the next department. I point at an item on display and say that I need two of them. She checks the stock noooo: "Sorrym we only have one in stock."
Me: "That's OK, I can take the one from stock and this one too."
Her: "No, that is for display."
Me: "So why display something that is out of stock? I will take both."
She refuses and I demand to see a manager.
He lets me buy both items. Operative scowls.
Incredibly, this was in John Lewis, a shop I also had a nightmare time in last month in Southampton. evil:
lol: lol: lol:
Southampton prolly sent out warnings.... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
still, he got his matching fluffy cushions.
lol: lol: lol:
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. .Incredibly, this was in John Lewis, . . .
eeek: normally one of the better ones
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I came across this site (http://www.27bslash6.com/f4s.html) last night, and had a look at a few of his postings. His level of sarcasm has already reached VP standards :thumbsup:
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I came across this site (http://www.27bslash6.com/f4s.html) last night, and had a look at a few of his postings. His level of sarcasm has already reached VP standards :thumbsup:
happy001
Offer extended to March! lol: lol: lol:
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Incredibly, this was in John Lewis, a shop I also had a nightmare time in last month in Southampton. evil:
What does store sell - unused days perhaps whistle: whistle: whistle:
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I came across this site (http://www.27bslash6.com/f4s.html) last night, and had a look at a few of his postings. His level of sarcasm has already reached VP standards :thumbsup:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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I came across this site (http://www.27bslash6.com/f4s.html) last night, and had a look at a few of his postings. His level of sarcasm has already reached VP standards :thumbsup:
From: George Lewis
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 7.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: tarded
Ive deleted you from my facebook and reported you. i hope you die of aids fag. Dont bothering emailing me again becasue I wont read it.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 7.12pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: dneck
Yes you will.
From: George Lewis
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 7.16pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: dneck
No I fucking wont fag
happy002
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I came across this site (http://www.27bslash6.com/f4s.html) last night, and had a look at a few of his postings. His level of sarcasm has already reached VP standards :thumbsup:
Excellent .... happy001 happy001 happy001
He is certainly a kindred soul .... :thumbsup:
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I came across this site (http://www.27bslash6.com/f4s.html) last night, and had a look at a few of his postings. His level of sarcasm has already reached VP standards :thumbsup:
From: George Lewis
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 7.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: tarded
Ive deleted you from my facebook and reported you. i hope you die of aids fag. Dont bothering emailing me again becasue I wont read it.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 7.12pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: dneck
Yes you will.
From: George Lewis
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 7.16pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: dneck
No I fucking wont fag
happy002
happy002 happy002
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lol: lol: lol:
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Just read timesheets (http://www.27bslash6.com/timesheets.html)... happy001
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lol:
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Just read timesheets (http://www.27bslash6.com/timesheets.html)... happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001
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Just realised he's the guy with the 7 legged spider
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.27bslash6.com%2Fimages%2Fspiderdrawing.gif&hash=906f7a882900892649b2dc1c07a4c2e11c736f50)
Had that as me avatar once upon a time at that rather awful pace where the mods hacked all the accounts - funny thing was they couldn't see the joke in that Overdue account spider payment story (http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html)
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Just realised he's the guy with the 7 legged spider
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.27bslash6.com%2Fimages%2Fspiderdrawing.gif&hash=906f7a882900892649b2dc1c07a4c2e11c736f50)
Had that as me avatar once upon a time at that rather awful pace where the mods hacked all the accounts - funny thing was they couldn't see the joke in that Overdue account spider payment story (http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html)
just read that one too - there are a few I recognise.... lol:
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Just bought his book through the Amazon link. At £3 delivered to Kindle the VP is all of about 3p richer!
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Just bought his book through the Amazon link. At £3 delivered to Kindle the VP is all of about 3p richer!
Yay! Party001:
Parking spot
A few weeks ago, some guy in a shitty bmw parked in my 'reserved and paid for' parking spot in a small lot. I printed out an A4 (helvetica demi bold 12pt) note stating that this was a paid for parking spot and not to park there again. A couple of days later he parked there again. I printed out an A3 (helvetica black 42pt) sign stating 'Reserved Parking, Do not park here' sign and used spray adhesive (3M®) to mount it on the wall in front of my spot. When I went to park in my spot the next day he had written in texta, after "Reserved Parking', the words 'For Wankers'. About three days later I saw his car parked in the street so I printed out a poster in A2 (helvetica black, 92pt, reversed) with the word 'Fuckhead' and applied it with spray adhesive to his windscreen, ensuring (as per instructions) I sprayed both materials to be bonded. The disadvantage of course is that I am too scared to park in my spot but he is also too scared to park there so I will class this as a draw for the moment and find a new spot.
happy001
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Just bought his book through the Amazon link. At £3 delivered to Kindle the VP is all of about 3p richer!
Yay! Party001:
Parking spot
A few weeks ago, some guy in a shitty bmw parked in my 'reserved and paid for' parking spot in a small lot. I printed out an A4 (helvetica demi bold 12pt) note stating that this was a paid for parking spot and not to park there again. A couple of days later he parked there again. I printed out an A3 (helvetica black 42pt) sign stating 'Reserved Parking, Do not park here' sign and used spray adhesive (3M®) to mount it on the wall in front of my spot. When I went to park in my spot the next day he had written in texta, after "Reserved Parking', the words 'For Wankers'. About three days later I saw his car parked in the street so I printed out a poster in A2 (helvetica black, 92pt, reversed) with the word 'Fuckhead' and applied it with spray adhesive to his windscreen, ensuring (as per instructions) I sprayed both materials to be bonded. The disadvantage of course is that I am too scared to park in my spot but he is also too scared to park there so I will class this as a draw for the moment and find a new spot.
happy001
lol: lol: lol: Man of course ::)
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The book is brilliant. Will probably save most of it for the next time Mrs K is in a clothes shop where there's no free Wifi
Book starts with the Party Invite story
http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html (http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html)
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The book is brilliant. Will probably save most of it for the next time Mrs K is in a clothes shop where there's no free Wifi
Book starts with the Party Invite story
http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html (http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html)
lol: lol: lol:
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The book is brilliant. Will probably save most of it for the next time Mrs K is in a clothes shop where there's no free Wifi
Book starts with the Party Invite story
http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html (http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html)
We must get him on here! lol:
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From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 5.09pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
I understand the importance the resurrection story holds in your particular religion. If I too knew some guy that had been killed and placed inside a cave with a rock in front of it and I visited the cave to find the rock moved and his body gone, the only logical assumption would be that he had risen from the dead and is the son of God. Once, my friend Simon was rushed to hospital to have his appendix removed and I visited him the next day to find his bed empty. I immediately sacrificed a goat and burnt a witch in his name but it turned out that he had not had appendicitis, just needed a good poo, and was at home playing Playstation.
Someone probably should have asked "So the rock has been moved and he's gone... has anyone checked his house?" I realise Playstation was not around in those days but they probably had the equivalent. A muddy stick or something. I would have said "Can someone please check if Jesus is at home playing with his muddy stick, if not, then and only then should we all assume, logically, that he has risen from the dead and is the son of God."
If we accept though, that Jesus was the son of an Infinite Being capable of anything, he probably did have a Playstation. Probably a Playstation 7. I know I have to get my offspring all the latest gadgets. God would probably have said to him, "I was going to wait another two thousand years to give you this but seeing as you have been good... just don't tell your mother about Grand Theft Auto."
Also, is it true that Jesus can be stabbed during a sword fight and be ok due to the fact that he can only die if he gets his head chopped off?
Regards, David.
happy001
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From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 5.09pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
I understand the importance the resurrection story holds in your particular religion. If I too knew some guy that had been killed and placed inside a cave with a rock in front of it and I visited the cave to find the rock moved and his body gone, the only logical assumption would be that he had risen from the dead and is the son of God. Once, my friend Simon was rushed to hospital to have his appendix removed and I visited him the next day to find his bed empty. I immediately sacrificed a goat and burnt a witch in his name but it turned out that he had not had appendicitis, just needed a good poo, and was at home playing Playstation.
Someone probably should have asked "So the rock has been moved and he's gone... has anyone checked his house?" I realise Playstation was not around in those days but they probably had the equivalent. A muddy stick or something. I would have said "Can someone please check if Jesus is at home playing with his muddy stick, if not, then and only then should we all assume, logically, that he has risen from the dead and is the son of God."
If we accept though, that Jesus was the son of an Infinite Being capable of anything, he probably did have a Playstation. Probably a Playstation 7. I know I have to get my offspring all the latest gadgets. God would probably have said to him, "I was going to wait another two thousand years to give you this but seeing as you have been good... just don't tell your mother about Grand Theft Auto."
Also, is it true that Jesus can be stabbed during a sword fight and be ok due to the fact that he can only die if he gets his head chopped off?
Regards, David.
happy001
lol: lol: lol:
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From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 5.09pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
I understand the importance the resurrection story holds in your particular religion. If I too knew some guy that had been killed and placed inside a cave with a rock in front of it and I visited the cave to find the rock moved and his body gone, the only logical assumption would be that he had risen from the dead and is the son of God. Once, my friend Simon was rushed to hospital to have his appendix removed and I visited him the next day to find his bed empty. I immediately sacrificed a goat and burnt a witch in his name but it turned out that he had not had appendicitis, just needed a good poo, and was at home playing Playstation.
Someone probably should have asked "So the rock has been moved and he's gone... has anyone checked his house?" I realise Playstation was not around in those days but they probably had the equivalent. A muddy stick or something. I would have said "Can someone please check if Jesus is at home playing with his muddy stick, if not, then and only then should we all assume, logically, that he has risen from the dead and is the son of God."
If we accept though, that Jesus was the son of an Infinite Being capable of anything, he probably did have a Playstation. Probably a Playstation 7. I know I have to get my offspring all the latest gadgets. God would probably have said to him, "I was going to wait another two thousand years to give you this but seeing as you have been good... just don't tell your mother about Grand Theft Auto."
Also, is it true that Jesus can be stabbed during a sword fight and be ok due to the fact that he can only die if he gets his head chopped off?
Regards, David.
happy001
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 March 2010 5.09pm
To: Darryl Robinson
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip
Dear Darryl,
I understand the importance the resurrection story holds in your particular religion. If I too knew some guy that had been killed and placed inside a cave with a rock in front of it and I visited the cave to find the rock moved and his body gone, the only logical assumption would be that he had risen from the dead and is the son of God. Once, my friend Simon was rushed to hospital to have his appendix removed and I visited him the next day to find his bed empty. I immediately sacrificed a goat and burnt a witch in his name but it turned out that he had not had appendicitis, just needed a good poo, and was at home playing Playstation.
Someone probably should have asked "So the rock has been moved and he's gone... has anyone checked his house?" I realise Playstation was not around in those days but they probably had the equivalent. A muddy stick or something. I would have said "Can someone please check if Jesus is at home playing with his muddy stick, if not, then and only then should we all assume, logically, that he has risen from the dead and is the son of God."
If we accept though, that Jesus was the son of an Infinite Being capable of anything, he probably did have a Playstation. Probably a Playstation 7. I know I have to get my offspring all the latest gadgets. God would probably have said to him, "I was going to wait another two thousand years to give you this but seeing as you have been good... just don't tell your mother about Grand Theft Auto."
Also, is it true that Jesus can be stabbed during a sword fight and be ok due to the fact that he can only die if he gets his head chopped off?
Regards, David.
happy001
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
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The book is brilliant. Will probably save most of it for the next time Mrs K is in a clothes shop where there's no free Wifi
Book starts with the Party Invite story
http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html (http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html)
lol: lol: lol: lol: