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Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: Nick on September 28, 2013, 03:55:56 PM

Title: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on September 28, 2013, 03:55:56 PM
SO I have something growing on my eye  scared2:

Went to the quackter and he said it needed freezing off but a highly specialised job (to avoid blindness and such  scared2:)

He offers to refer me and discloses that this may take "months" to sort out  noooo:

I investigate private options and go to private clinic in Nottingham where, at first, they give me every indication they will do it on the spot  (liquid nitrogen  scared2:)

Private quackter looks at it for 2 seconds and declares it needs a speciaist and takes pics with his phone (7 seconds)

He shakes my hand and says there are forms to be completed

Pretty receptionist eyes: eyes: takes down my many particulars  whistle:

Then demands £50  Angry9:

I point out several spelling errors on the forms (they can't spell medical or doctor's correctly  ::))

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount for proofreading. Quackter overhears this, checks forms and agrees  Shocked: Shocked:

I now wait for a referral. Could be next week  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 28, 2013, 05:24:39 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-LVesFeeLWtw%2FT1wDSjbWnOI%2FAAAAAAAACPo%2FZQ8EJpkC5ns%2Fs1600%2F3-12-12.jpg&hash=4a7609e19b2a987dfe3562e8745d225d53d5ffe2)
 point:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on September 28, 2013, 05:25:54 PM
 scared2:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Barman on September 28, 2013, 05:27:40 PM
SO I have something growing on my eye  scared2:

Went to the quackter and he said it needed freezing off but a highly specialised job (to avoid blindness and such  scared2:)

He offers to refer me and discloses that this may take "months" to sort out  noooo:

I investigate private options and go to private clinic in Nottingham where, at first, they give me every indication they will do it on the spot  (liquid nitrogen  scared2:)

Private quackter looks at it for 2 seconds and declares it needs a speciaist and takes pics with his phone (7 seconds)

He shakes my hand and says there are forms to be completed

Pretty receptionist eyes: eyes: takes down my many particulars  whistle:

Then demands £50  Angry9:

I point out several spelling errors on the forms (they can't spell medical or doctor's correctly  ::))

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount for proofreading. Quackter overhears this, checks forms and agrees  Shocked: Shocked:

I now wait for a referral. Could be next week  :thumbsup:

Excellent!  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Steve on September 28, 2013, 05:49:58 PM
SO I have something growing on my eye  scared2: . . .
The growth has another view.  It suddenly found a Nick growing on itself and is very depressed about it.



(serious mode:  hope it goes well)
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Baldy on September 28, 2013, 09:13:32 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-LVesFeeLWtw%2FT1wDSjbWnOI%2FAAAAAAAACPo%2FZQ8EJpkC5ns%2Fs1600%2F3-12-12.jpg&hash=4a7609e19b2a987dfe3562e8745d225d53d5ffe2)
 point:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 29, 2013, 04:33:44 AM
This is the age of modern medicine, Nick would have a prosthetic to make him look his normal self...

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.fanpop.com%2Fimages%2Fimage_uploads%2FMad-Eye-mad-eye-moody-317974_600_400.jpg&hash=5e5598c2ff562dacef170ccebfbf2ae234e1d3fb)

Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: boogs on September 30, 2013, 10:28:51 PM

Pretty receptionist eyes: eyes: takes down my many particulars  whistle:

Then demands £50  Angry9:

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount I now wait for a referral. Could be next week  :thumbsup:

Hyson Green  eyes:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 01, 2013, 09:52:15 PM

Pretty receptionist eyes: eyes: takes down my many particulars  whistle:

Then demands £50  Angry9:

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount I now wait for a referral. Could be next week  :thumbsup:

Hyson Green  eyes:

Robson's brother?
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: boogs on October 01, 2013, 10:13:33 PM

Pretty receptionist eyes: eyes: takes down my many particulars  whistle:

Then demands £50  Angry9:

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount I now wait for a referral. Could be next week  :thumbsup:

Hyson Green  eyes:

Robson's brother?

Well known area  redface:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 02, 2013, 05:27:37 AM

Pretty receptionist eyes: eyes: takes down my many particulars  whistle:

Then demands £50  Angry9:

I suggest, jokingly, a 10% discount I now wait for a referral. Could be next week  :thumbsup:

Hyson Green  eyes:

Robson's brother?

Well known area  redface:
OIC
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2013, 11:12:30 AM
Well that was HORRID  Shocked:

Quackter said that freezing was an option but that in my case it was better to CUT it out. Wiv a SCALPEL. From my eye  eeek: Shocked:

He stuck a needle in first  Shocked:  then cut it  Shocked:  Then he did summat else where I could smell BURNING. ME BURNING  Shocked:

He now says I will have a mahoosive black eye  sad24:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: apc2010 on October 04, 2013, 11:19:13 AM
Well that was HORRID  Shocked:

Quackter said that freezing was an option but that in my case it was better to CUT it out. Wiv a SCALPEL. From my eye  eeek: Shocked:

He stuck a needle in first  Shocked:  then cut it  Shocked:  Then he did summat else where I could smell BURNING. ME BURNING  Shocked:

He now says I will have a mahoosive black eye  sad24:

Did you not pay...... rubschin:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2013, 11:21:16 AM
Only £150  :thumbsup:  Shocked:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Barman on October 04, 2013, 11:36:47 AM
 NickSick
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2013, 11:37:17 AM
I look like a zombie  sad24:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Steve on October 04, 2013, 12:47:47 PM
I look like a zombie  sad24:
But you can see  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2013, 12:49:15 PM
Out of one eye  evil:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Steve on October 04, 2013, 12:55:02 PM
Out of one eye  evil:
scared2:

You are joking about just one aren't you
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2013, 12:56:11 PM
It has all closed up now.  noooo:  Doc says I should put a towel on my pillow to catch the pus it will emit in the night  sick2:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Steve on October 04, 2013, 01:02:08 PM
It has all closed up now.  noooo:  Doc says I should put a towel on my pillow to catch the pus it will emit in the night  sick2:
eeek:   sick2:  you need a hug from one of the lasses
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2013, 01:02:57 PM
Tipsy and Miss D in their nurse uniforms you say?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Steve on October 04, 2013, 01:04:28 PM
or even out of them
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2013, 01:06:09 PM
Not too soon, one wants to enjoy the unwrapping  eyes: eyes: eyes:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: The Moan Ranger on October 04, 2013, 02:02:26 PM
I look like a zombie  sad24:

:-X
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2013, 02:06:27 PM
 cussing:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: boogs on October 04, 2013, 02:36:33 PM
I am not going to take the proverbial.... I think it sounds very unpleasant and painful  scared2: 

But I wouldn't worry about going out I am sure nobody will notice .... angel1
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2013, 02:37:54 PM
I have to go to London on Tuesday to Chair a conference. I may have to buy an eye patch  sad24:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: The Moan Ranger on October 04, 2013, 02:40:42 PM
I have to go to London on Tuesday to Chair a conference. I may have to buy an eye patch  sad24:

You are Johnny Kidd and I claim my £5.
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: boogs on October 04, 2013, 02:44:08 PM
I have to go to London on Tuesday to Chair a conference. I may have to buy an eye patch  sad24:

Nooo   noooo: wear it like a badge of honour ... They will all be sitting there trying to figure out who hit you   ;D You could give them a fantastic tale.. whistle:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Just One More on October 04, 2013, 05:37:02 PM
Well that was HORRID  Shocked:

Quackter said that freezing was an option but that in my case it was better to CUT it out. Wiv a SCALPEL. From my eye  eeek: Shocked:

He stuck a needle in first  Shocked:  then cut it  Shocked:  Then he did summat else where I could smell BURNING. ME BURNING  Shocked:

He now says I will have a mahoosive black eye  sad24:

 noooo:  noooo:  noooo:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 05, 2013, 07:04:30 AM
 sad24: sad24: NickSick
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Barman on October 05, 2013, 07:33:12 AM
sad24: sad24: NickSick


happy100
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on October 05, 2013, 05:35:38 PM
Not too soon, one wants to enjoy the unwrapping  eyes: eyes: eyes:

 ::)

Eye Eye... like.

 happy100
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 10, 2013, 11:50:09 AM
Hurrah, the mahossive scab has dropped off like  :thumbsup:

Might post a pic  rubschin:

Might even frame the scab  rubschin:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Baldy on October 10, 2013, 12:00:44 PM
Hurrah, the mahossive scab has dropped off like  :thumbsup:

Might post a pic  rubschin:

Might even frame the scab  rubschin:

 noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on October 10, 2013, 12:17:43 PM
Hurrah, the mahossive scab has dropped off like  :thumbsup:

Might post a pic  rubschin:

Might even frame the scab  rubschin:

One assumes that Nick will now be heard singing:




























I can see clearly now the scab has gone . . . .

(Free ear worm courtesy of Ghost Enterprises plc)
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Miss Adventure on October 10, 2013, 12:41:49 PM
There's something very satisfying about a scab...
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 10, 2013, 12:44:16 PM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Barman on October 10, 2013, 12:47:40 PM
There's something very satisfying about a scab...

The Miners didn't think so....  noooo:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Miss Adventure on October 10, 2013, 12:50:09 PM
Boom boom ( a la Basil Brush)
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Baldy on October 10, 2013, 12:50:23 PM
There's something very satisfying about a scab...

The Miners didn't think so....  noooo:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 10, 2013, 12:50:49 PM
I could post it to Miss A for her collection  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Miss Adventure on October 10, 2013, 12:51:52 PM
We could have it mounted
Title: Re: Private quackters and my poorly eye
Post by: Nick on October 10, 2013, 12:53:07 PM
It is mahoosive  :thumbsup: