The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on August 22, 2007, 03:15:37 PM

Title: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2007, 03:15:37 PM
Hi, I am outside your house (message)
Hi I am outside your pub (message)

Call back

NUMBER WITHELD (OR WITHHELD, whatever)

GOne!

I WAS IN THE GARDEN HANGING OUT BEDCLOTHES COS THE CAT PEED ALL OVER THE BED AND I HAD TO WASH THEM TWICE/

HEAVENS evil:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Misunderstood on August 22, 2007, 03:23:36 PM
Hi, I am outside your house (message)
Hi I am outside your pub (message)

Call back

NUMBER WITHELD (OR WITHHELD, whatever)

GOne!

I WAS IN THE GARDEN HANGING OUT BEDCLOTHES COS THE CAT PEED ALL OVER THE BED AND I HAD TO WASH THEM TWICE/

HEAVENS evil:


That what Chester does to you......  noooo:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Bar Wench on August 22, 2007, 03:24:21 PM
He doesn't hang about does he?  eeek:

On the other hand, how long does it take you to hang clothes up?  eeek:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 22, 2007, 03:26:40 PM
Hi, I am outside your house (message)
Hi I am outside your pub (message)

Call back

NUMBER WITHELD (OR WITHHELD, whatever)

GOne!

I WAS IN THE GARDEN HANGING OUT BEDCLOTHES COS THE CAT PEED ALL OVER THE BED AND I HAD TO WASH THEM TWICE/

HEAVENS evil:

See Snoopy, I told you trying that little trick would drive Nick nuts  whistle:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Pastis on August 22, 2007, 03:59:56 PM
Nick also appears to have gone CAP LOCK CRAZY  eeek:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Snoopy on August 22, 2007, 04:33:32 PM
In my defence I was there for some twenty minutes. I rang on arrival and again before leaving in case he was in the bog or summat. God knows how long it takes to hang up a duvet cover and a couple of sheets. eeek:
Personally I'm on Mrs Nick''s side agin this moggy   freddy:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2007, 05:10:16 PM
 evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Berek on August 22, 2007, 06:09:16 PM
In my defence I was there for some twenty minutes. I rang on arrival and again before leaving in case he was in the bog or summat. God knows how long it takes to hang up a duvet cover and a couple of sheets. eeek:
Personally I'm on Mrs Nick''s side agin this moggy   freddy:

was Nick wearing his green suit ?
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Snoopy on August 22, 2007, 06:11:47 PM
In my defence I was there for some twenty minutes. I rang on arrival and again before leaving in case he was in the bog or summat. God knows how long it takes to hang up a duvet cover and a couple of sheets. eeek:
Personally I'm on Mrs Nick''s side agin this moggy   freddy:

was Nick wearing his green suit ?

 shrugs: Could have been in his Birthday suit for all I know. I didn't get to see him. evil:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2007, 06:11:55 PM
I was NOT evil:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2007, 06:13:16 PM
I went downwind of the washing. Still eye watering cry:

ANd now the
Spanish are turning up!
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 22, 2007, 06:51:28 PM
In my defence I was there for some twenty minutes. I rang on arrival and again before leaving in case he was in the bog or summat. God knows how long it takes to hang up a duvet cover and a couple of sheets. eeek:
Personally I'm on Mrs Nick''s side agin this moggy   freddy:

A normal person probably 5 minutes..........Captain Calamity however? Given the multitude of catastrophic possibilities it could take him decades  point:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Pastis on August 22, 2007, 07:14:37 PM

Spanish are turning up!

No body expects the Spanish Inqui.....


Oooops... wrong thread...sorry
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Snoopy on August 22, 2007, 07:36:09 PM
In my defence I was there for some twenty minutes. I rang on arrival and again before leaving in case he was in the bog or summat. God knows how long it takes to hang up a duvet cover and a couple of sheets. eeek:
Personally I'm on Mrs Nick''s side agin this moggy   freddy:

A normal person probably 5 minutes..........Captain Calamity however? Given the multitude of catastrophic possibilities it could take him decades  point:


'spect he was making the pegs. ::)
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: GROWLER on August 22, 2007, 07:48:05 PM

ANd now the
Spanish are turning up!

....and the BBC were there doing a live broadcast too, right opposite your castle @ 6:50pm. eeek:
Were where you, and more to the point, why wasn't 'The Boy' there, dancing behind the presenter, or pulling the lead out of the camera? ::)
Golden opportunity for national fame gone. noooo:
You're a constant dissapointment. sad32:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2007, 09:42:17 PM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Mozo on August 23, 2007, 07:16:46 AM
Has the world gone mad?

Here is a rather accident prone Job like Snoopy ... I believe an adult male and house husband of some skill and experience, with a seemingly rational family for whom he works hard "looking after"..

How can I understand this seemingly intelligent male even permitting in his home a pet cat who seems to be singularly undistinguished in every respect except PISSING ON THE MARITAL BED?

Why is that abominable creature not on its way to the Council Pound by the swiftest possible route, or am I missing something here.

Like a feline that recites the Bhagavad Gita in Hindi or mix an uncommonly decent Dry Martini cocktail!

There just ha to be a reason, Snoopy, or are you quite demented? noooo:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2007, 07:18:32 AM
Is it just me or has Mozo taken a firm hold of the wrong end of the stick?
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2007, 07:29:31 AM
He does seem to think the cat (Marmite) is mine when in fact it is yours ~ otherwise he seems to have got it about right. lol:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2007, 08:06:04 AM
Is it just me or has Mozo taken a firm hold of the wrong end of the stick?
whacky115
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 23, 2007, 08:12:20 AM
Is it just me or has Mozo taken a firm hold of the wrong end of the stick?
Which end are you holding?
 
Hi Mozo. Found your way back OK then?
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: GROWLER on August 23, 2007, 08:43:55 AM
Is it just me or has Mozo taken a firm hold of the wrong end of the stick?
Which end are you holding?
 
Hi Mozo. Found your way back OK then?


Thought he'd left. happy088


Never mind. Can't win em all. ::)
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: GROWLER on August 23, 2007, 08:48:16 AM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!

What do you mean, "they couldn't get a signal?" rubschin:

They were supposed to be broadcasting, NOT watching.

All came through crystal clear here without your assistance.

They're over this side at Eastham ferry this evening.
Shall I go and stand behind the interviewer, and do a quick 'moonie' p'raps?
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2007, 09:16:29 AM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!

What do you mean, "they couldn't get a signal?" rubschin:

They were supposed to be broadcasting, NOT watching.

All came through crystal clear here without your assistance.

They're over this side at Eastham ferry this evening.
Shall I go and stand behind the interviewer, and do a quick 'moonie' p'raps?
Or pinch her arse if you want to risk an ?80 fine...  whistle:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: GROWLER on August 23, 2007, 09:19:49 AM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!

What do you mean, "they couldn't get a signal?" rubschin:

They were supposed to be broadcasting, NOT watching.

All came through crystal clear here without your assistance.

They're over this side at Eastham ferry this evening.
Shall I go and stand behind the interviewer, and do a quick 'moonie' p'raps?
Or pinch her arse if you want to risk an ?80 fine...  whistle:

It's a geezer, so not much chance of that. noooo:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2007, 09:28:23 AM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!

What do you mean, "they couldn't get a signal?" rubschin:

They were supposed to be broadcasting, NOT watching.

All came through crystal clear here without your assistance.

They're over this side at Eastham ferry this evening.
Shall I go and stand behind the interviewer, and do a quick 'moonie' p'raps?

I still have no idea what they are broadcasting though. When is it on the tely box?

And if we had been better co-ordinated you could have shown Snoopy your Swamp!
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2007, 09:31:44 AM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!

What do you mean, "they couldn't get a signal?" rubschin:

They were supposed to be broadcasting, NOT watching.

All came through crystal clear here without your assistance.

They're over this side at Eastham ferry this evening.
Shall I go and stand behind the interviewer, and do a quick 'moonie' p'raps?
Or pinch her arse if you want to risk an ?80 fine...  whistle:

It's a geezer, so not much chance of that. noooo:
If it is a geezer it is only ?40 prolly - think of the publicity for the swamp!  whistle:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Misunderstood on August 23, 2007, 09:38:33 AM
Has the world gone mad?

Here is a rather accident prone Job like Snoopy ... I believe an adult male and house husband of some skill and experience, with a seemingly rational family for whom he works hard "looking after"..

How can I understand this seemingly intelligent male even permitting in his home a pet cat who seems to be singularly undistinguished in every respect except PISSING ON THE MARITAL BED?

Why is that abominable creature not on its way to the Council Pound by the swiftest possible route, or am I missing something here.

Like a feline that recites the Bhagavad Gita in Hindi or mix an uncommonly decent Dry Martini cocktail!

There just ha to be a reason, Snoopy, or are you quite demented? noooo:

You have the wrong end of every stick!

Apart from the obvious Snoopy/Nick mix up,  You seem to failed to grasp that the cat is a feline version of YOU

In the more civilised area of the world, we tend to have some respect for our elders and indulge their little foibles and accidents in return for the long and happy acquaintance of the past.

If that is so hard for you to stomach then I suggest some steps to remove from the planet yourself before it happens to you.

While I laugh at Nick and his troubles, I have the greatest respect for the stoic way that he assists the cat through its difficulties.

I hope whoever has to end up looking after me can do it with such style.


P.S.  Although I would be thinking about a waterproof bedcover by now.....
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: GROWLER on August 23, 2007, 09:40:31 AM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!

What do you mean, "they couldn't get a signal?" rubschin:

They were supposed to be broadcasting, NOT watching.

All came through crystal clear here without your assistance.

They're over this side at Eastham ferry this evening.
Shall I go and stand behind the interviewer, and do a quick 'moonie' p'raps?

I still have no idea what they are broadcasting though. When is it on the tely box?

And if we had been better co-ordinated you could have shown Snoopy your Swamp!

Christ on a bike Nick. THEY WERE OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE FFS!
 eeek:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_6950000/newsid_6959400/6959498.stm?bw=bb&mp=rm&news=1&ms3=4
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2007, 09:47:28 AM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!

What do you mean, "they couldn't get a signal?" rubschin:

They were supposed to be broadcasting, NOT watching.

All came through crystal clear here without your assistance.

They're over this side at Eastham ferry this evening.
Shall I go and stand behind the interviewer, and do a quick 'moonie' p'raps?

I still have no idea what they are broadcasting though. When is it on the tely box?

And if we had been better co-ordinated you could have shown Snoopy your Swamp!

Christ on a bike Nick. THEY WERE OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE FFS!
 eeek:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_6950000/newsid_6959400/6959498.stm?bw=bb&mp=rm&news=1&ms3=4
Nick lives in an ice cream shop?  eeek:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2007, 09:48:51 AM
All that and he all did was eat an ice cream on expenses!!

 noooo:

Bill Collier is full of himself this morning. I notice he had a clean white coat on. Most odd!
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on August 23, 2007, 09:49:22 AM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!

What do you mean, "they couldn't get a signal?" rubschin:

They were supposed to be broadcasting, NOT watching.

All came through crystal clear here without your assistance.

They're over this side at Eastham ferry this evening.
Shall I go and stand behind the interviewer, and do a quick 'moonie' p'raps?

I still have no idea what they are broadcasting though. When is it on the tely box?

And if we had been better co-ordinated you could have shown Snoopy your Swamp!

Christ on a bike Nick. THEY WERE OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE FFS!
 eeek:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_6950000/newsid_6959400/6959498.stm?bw=bb&mp=rm&news=1&ms3=4

Mmmmm, just watched it. So, we now know that Nick lives in a shop (or above it) and that the Boy's entrepreneurial activities involve flogging cheap tat (buckets and spades etc.) for inflated prices on the sea front!

And as for Gordon asking a woman in the shop if she wanted "a lick of mine" - well, the mind positively boggles!


P.S. Was that one of your landies tramping down the beach Growler?
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2007, 09:50:06 AM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!

What do you mean, "they couldn't get a signal?" rubschin:

They were supposed to be broadcasting, NOT watching.

All came through crystal clear here without your assistance.

They're over this side at Eastham ferry this evening.
Shall I go and stand behind the interviewer, and do a quick 'moonie' p'raps?

I still have no idea what they are broadcasting though. When is it on the tely box?

And if we had been better co-ordinated you could have shown Snoopy your Swamp!

Christ on a bike Nick. THEY WERE OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE FFS!
 eeek:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_6950000/newsid_6959400/6959498.stm?bw=bb&mp=rm&news=1&ms3=4
Nick lives in an ice cream shop?  eeek:

No, I live very close to an ice cream shop (which is also a Post Office) ;)

OK?

Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2007, 09:50:20 AM
We questioned them intensely. They couldn't get a signal! I told them!!

What do you mean, "they couldn't get a signal?" rubschin:

They were supposed to be broadcasting, NOT watching.

All came through crystal clear here without your assistance.

They're over this side at Eastham ferry this evening.
Shall I go and stand behind the interviewer, and do a quick 'moonie' p'raps?

I still have no idea what they are broadcasting though. When is it on the tely box?

And if we had been better co-ordinated you could have shown Snoopy your Swamp!

Christ on a bike Nick. THEY WERE OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE FFS!
 eeek:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_6950000/newsid_6959400/6959498.stm?bw=bb&mp=rm&news=1&ms3=4

SO WAS I but he didn't notice that either. evil:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2007, 09:52:03 AM
I  W A S  I N  T H E  G A R D E N

ok?
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: GROWLER on August 23, 2007, 09:52:56 AM
I  W A S  I N  T H E  G A R D E N

ok?

NO!

Try:
http://www.specsavers.co.uk

I'll come and collect you and take you if you like. ::)
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2007, 09:57:36 AM
I was when Snoopy phoned!
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2007, 10:04:09 AM
Has the world gone mad?

Here is a rather accident prone Job like Snoopy ... I believe an adult male and house husband of some skill and experience, with a seemingly rational family for whom he works hard "looking after"..

How can I understand this seemingly intelligent male even permitting in his home a pet cat who seems to be singularly undistinguished in every respect except PISSING ON THE MARITAL BED?

Why is that abominable creature not on its way to the Council Pound by the swiftest possible route, or am I missing something here.

Like a feline that recites the Bhagavad Gita in Hindi or mix an uncommonly decent Dry Martini cocktail!

There just ha to be a reason, Snoopy, or are you quite demented? noooo:

You have the wrong end of every stick!

Apart from the obvious Snoopy/Nick mix up,  You seem to failed to grasp that the cat is a feline version of YOU

In the more civilised area of the world, we tend to have some respect for our elders and indulge their little foibles and accidents in return for the long and happy acquaintance of the past.

If that is so hard for you to stomach then I suggest some steps to remove from the planet yourself before it happens to you.

While I laugh at Nick and his troubles, I have the greatest respect for the stoic way that he assists the cat through its difficulties.

I hope whoever has to end up looking after me can do it with such style.


P.S.  Although I would be thinking about a waterproof bedcover by now.....

A sterling case for the Feline Rights Act if ever I heard one (not excluding ageism either)
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 23, 2007, 11:02:21 AM
In my defence I was there for some twenty minutes. I rang on arrival and again before leaving in case he was in the bog or summat. God knows how long it takes to hang up a duvet cover and a couple of sheets. eeek:
Personally I'm on Mrs Nick''s side agin this moggy   freddy:

A normal person probably 5 minutes..........Captain Calamity however? Given the multitude of catastrophic possibilities it could take him decades  point:



'spect he was making the pegs. ::)


Could you smell burning perchance?  eeek:
Title: Re: SNOOPY SCREWS UP
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2007, 12:15:53 PM
In my defence I was there for some twenty minutes. I rang on arrival and again before leaving in case he was in the bog or summat. God knows how long it takes to hang up a duvet cover and a couple of sheets. eeek:
Personally I'm on Mrs Nick''s side agin this moggy   freddy:

A normal person probably 5 minutes..........Captain Calamity however? Given the multitude of catastrophic possibilities it could take him decades  point:



'spect he was making the pegs. ::)


Could you smell burning perchance?  eeek:

Now you come to mention it ...  rubschin: