The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Cool Hand Luke on November 26, 2013, 05:47:16 PM

Title: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 26, 2013, 05:47:16 PM
The average Brit has proven him/herself over the past 50 years to have the brain of a pea. They were handy in World War 2, but we all know now that was an anomaly.

The responses to my simple request for info on Bulgaria were nothing short of imbecilic.

Cool Hand is nothing if not forgiving, however, and he now asks a serious question because he is a serious man: is there anything worth seeing in Zagreb ?

I fear that you cretins will:

A.  Think Zagreb plays for Real Madrid;

B.  Think that the best thing to come out of Zagreb is the road to Belgrade;

C.  Have never been anywhere except North Swindon and West Pissouri;

D.  Find it highly amusing to play with your emoticons.

Nevertheless, if anyone has an IQ which exceeds their shoe size and has been to Zagreb, a sensible reply would make Cool happy.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: apc2010 on November 26, 2013, 05:49:26 PM
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Miss Adventure on November 26, 2013, 05:51:21 PM
You could be on dangerous ground here Cool, you lot have only been in one war without us and you got done!

Not been to Zagreb
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on November 26, 2013, 05:52:04 PM
Is it an anagram?
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: apc2010 on November 26, 2013, 05:53:34 PM
Is it an anagram?

Of colonial convicts......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 26, 2013, 05:54:17 PM
In am sure this will meet your requirements:

English Pub in Zagreb (http://www.mojestranice.com/view.asp?q=oldpharmacypub&shows)
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 26, 2013, 06:16:30 PM
Good point, Miss Adventure. We bailed the Poms out twice, but no-one could save the Yanks.

Thanks, Darwin's Selection. It's good to have a contribution from someone of your obvious calibre.

I note, though, that no dogs are allowed, so that counts out Ms Cool.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 26, 2013, 06:19:06 PM
Is it an anagram?

Strangely enough, it's on the Danube, which is crossed by Barge Z.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: The Moan Ranger on November 26, 2013, 06:26:58 PM
http://www.timeout.com/zagreb/features/586/20-great-things-to-do-in-zagreb (http://www.timeout.com/zagreb/features/586/20-great-things-to-do-in-zagreb)

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: apc2010 on November 26, 2013, 06:31:52 PM
http://www.wikisexguide.com/wiki/Zagreb (http://www.wikisexguide.com/wiki/Zagreb)
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 26, 2013, 06:33:32 PM
Thanks, Moan, appreciated.

Snowing in Belgrade as we speak, and colder than a mother-in-law's kiss.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Miss Adventure on November 26, 2013, 06:37:16 PM
Bet you wish you had packed your thermals Cool, you'll be nithered before you know it.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 26, 2013, 06:38:01 PM
My shoe size is 43....  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on November 26, 2013, 06:39:09 PM
Like a clown? I am an 11  angel1
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Miss Adventure on November 26, 2013, 06:39:35 PM
 Freezy: Just for you, I know how much you like them
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on November 26, 2013, 06:40:43 PM
Clockwork teeth?
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 26, 2013, 06:56:15 PM
Is there a website where Darwin and I can communicate without interference from intellectual toddlers ?
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on November 26, 2013, 06:59:10 PM
Turnip World  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 26, 2013, 07:06:45 PM
Is there a website where Darwin and I can communicate without interference from intellectual toddlers ?

If only I was an intellectual giant like you two and not a product of bog Street Comprehensive I could prolly set something up for you like....  whistle:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 26, 2013, 07:10:51 PM
You're not suggesting that Bog Street gave you a pass grade ?

I suppose they gave you a certificate with a smiley face.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on November 26, 2013, 07:12:34 PM
It has a picture of a turnip for some reason
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 26, 2013, 07:15:15 PM
You're not suggesting that Bog Street gave you a pass grade ?

I suppose they gave you a certificate with a smiley face.

bog Street....::)

We couldn't afford an upper case B....  noooo:

I did get a certificate - we all did... they printed them out on that bander machine that smelt lovely....  cloud9:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on November 26, 2013, 07:16:35 PM
You're not suggesting that Bog Street gave you a pass grade ?

I suppose they gave you a certificate with a smiley face.

bog Street....::)

We couldn't afford an upper case B....  noooo:

I did get a certificate - we all did... they printed them out on that bander machine that smelt lovely....  cloud9:

My dad invented them things
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: apc2010 on November 26, 2013, 07:20:07 PM
You're not suggesting that Bog Street gave you a pass grade ?

I suppose they gave you a certificate with a smiley face.

bog Street....::)

We couldn't afford an upper case B....  noooo:

I did get a certificate - we all did... they printed them out on that bander machine that smelt lovely....  cloud9:

My dad invented them things

Bogs....... rubschin:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 26, 2013, 07:23:29 PM
You're not suggesting that Bog Street gave you a pass grade ?

I suppose they gave you a certificate with a smiley face.

bog Street....::)

We couldn't afford an upper case B....  noooo:

I did get a certificate - we all did... they printed them out on that bander machine that smelt lovely....  cloud9:

My dad invented them things

Bogs....... rubschin:

Certificates...? Upper case bs....? Shrugs:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 26, 2013, 07:30:44 PM
And to think they say that the older folks had a better education than my generation  whistle:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Steve on November 26, 2013, 11:55:15 PM
. . . is there anything worth seeing in Zagreb ? . . .

Extensive research here suggests you should take your question to Yahoo Answers (http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/)  where the responses are often priceless
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: apc2010 on November 27, 2013, 02:58:46 AM
. . . is there anything worth seeing in Zagreb ? . . .

Extensive research here suggests you should take your question to Yahoo Answers (http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/)  where the responses are often priceless


 Thumbs:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Steve on November 27, 2013, 09:46:37 AM
. . . is there anything worth seeing in Zagreb ? . . .

Extensive research here suggests you should take your question to Yahoo Answers (http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/)  where the responses are often priceless


 Thumbs:
Sadly I think he won't fall for it
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on November 27, 2013, 09:49:47 AM
I have asked the question on his behalf  angel1
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Steve on November 27, 2013, 10:12:05 AM
I have asked the question on his behalf  angel1
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 27, 2013, 11:03:27 AM
Is there a website where Darwin and I can communicate without interference from intellectual toddlers ?

I will have the butler search for somewhere suitable.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 27, 2013, 03:34:17 PM
Is there a website where Darwin and I can communicate without interference from intellectual toddlers ?

I will have the butler search for somewhere suitable.
Excellent work, Darwin.

Topics to be explored could include neurosurgery, subatomic physics, the Kierkegaard dichotomy and the true causes of 17th century Balkans conflicts.

Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on November 27, 2013, 03:40:27 PM
Is there a website where Darwin and I can communicate without interference from intellectual toddlers ?

I will have the butler search for somewhere suitable.
Excellent work, Darwin.

Topics to be explored could include neurosurgery, subatomic physics, the Kierkegaard dichotomy and the true causes of 17th century Balkans conflicts.  Oh and Nigella's knockers.

 eeek:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 27, 2013, 04:01:16 PM
Certain possibilities arise as the meaning of GC in relation to Nick.

Good Chap ?

Great Conversationalist ?

Perhaps so, but the jury seems to favour Garrulous Cretin.

Although, just between you and me, Nick, I think you are on the right track concerning Nigella's knockers.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Baldy on November 27, 2013, 04:18:06 PM
Certain possibilities arise as the meaning of GC in relation to Nick.

Good Chap ?

Great Conversationalist ?

Perhaps so, but the jury seems to favour Garrulous Cretin.

Although, just between you and me, Nick, I think you are on the right track concerning Nigella's knockers.

I thought it stood for Ginger C..t.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 27, 2013, 04:42:29 PM
Certain possibilities arise as the meaning of GC in relation to Nick.

Good Chap ?

Great Conversationalist ?

Perhaps so, but the jury seems to favour Garrulous Cretin.

Although, just between you and me, Nick, I think you are on the right track concerning Nigella's knockers.

I thought it stood for Ginger C..t.  rubschin:

Me too....  redface:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 29, 2013, 05:17:58 PM
Cool Hand does recommend Zagreb as a destination. The Ustashi seem to be quashed. The city is clean and elegant. Excellent museums, including the Museum of Broken Relationships. Good service in restaurants and hotels. Sure beats Sofia.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Miss Adventure on November 29, 2013, 06:06:40 PM
Hi Cool! Glad that Zagreb was a good destination - no poisonings or muggings to report? Where to now? We are going back to the scene of the crime on Saturday night - BM has booked us in for a vertical wine-tasting, whatever that is...
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 29, 2013, 06:08:09 PM
Hi Cool! Glad that Zagreb was a good destination - no poisonings or muggings to report? Where to now? We are going back to the scene of the crime on Saturday night - BM has booked us in for a vertical wine-tasting, whatever that is...
It will end up with him horizontal for sure  noooo:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Miss Adventure on November 29, 2013, 06:10:34 PM
Hi Cool! Glad that Zagreb was a good destination - no poisonings or muggings to report? Where to now? We are going back to the scene of the crime on Saturday night - BM has booked us in for a vertical wine-tasting, whatever that is...
It will end up with him horizontal for sure  noooo:
I can see it now ::)
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 29, 2013, 06:52:25 PM
 redface:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 29, 2013, 08:03:40 PM
Hi Cool! Glad that Zagreb was a good destination - no poisonings or muggings to report? Where to now? We are going back to the scene of the crime on Saturday night - BM has booked us in for a vertical wine-tasting, whatever that is...
Which crime scene ? The salmonella crime scene or the Greek yum cha crime scene ? Incidentally, I can see why the Bulgarian at Pissouri beach wants to stay in Cyprus. I hate to admit it, but the Bulgarians in Bulgaria make the Brits in Cyprus look good. Probably not the Brits in the UK, though.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 29, 2013, 08:06:24 PM
Hi Cool! Glad that Zagreb was a good destination - no poisonings or muggings to report? Where to now? We are going back to the scene of the crime on Saturday night - BM has booked us in for a vertical wine-tasting, whatever that is...
Which crime scene ? The salmonella crime scene or the Greek yum cha crime scene ? Incidentally, I can see why the Bulgarian at Pissouri beach wants to stay in Cyprus. I hate to admit it, but the Bulgarians in Bulgaria make the Brits in Cyprus look good. Probably not the Brits in the UK, though.

Where are you off to despoil next...? I'll start another thread for you.... ::)
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Steve on November 29, 2013, 08:45:33 PM
Hi Cool! Glad that Zagreb was a good destination - no poisonings or muggings to report? Where to now? We are going back to the scene of the crime on Saturday night - BM has booked us in for a vertical wine-tasting, whatever that is...
Which crime scene ? The salmonella crime scene or the Greek yum cha crime scene ? Incidentally, I can see why the Bulgarian at Pissouri beach wants to stay in Cyprus. I hate to admit it, but the Bulgarians in Bulgaria make the Brits in Cyprus look good. Probably not the Brits in the UK, though.

Where are you off to despoil next...? I'll start another thread for you.... ::)
I was going to start a "What did Luke learn at charm school" thread but 3 pages of blank posts would be less than riveting.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 30, 2013, 06:10:56 AM
Where I come from, Steve, charm is a character fault, men are men, and sheep are nervous.

Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Miss Adventure on November 30, 2013, 06:27:28 AM
I always thought that where you come from men are men and so are the women...
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Miss Adventure on November 30, 2013, 06:37:07 AM
Hi Cool! Glad that Zagreb was a good destination - no poisonings or muggings to report? Where to now? We are going back to the scene of the crime on Saturday night - BM has booked us in for a vertical wine-tasting, whatever that is...
Which crime scene ? The salmonella crime scene or the Greek yum cha crime scene ? Incidentally, I can see why the Bulgarian at Pissouri beach wants to stay in Cyprus. I hate to admit it, but the Bulgarians in Bulgaria make the Brits in Cyprus look good. Probably not the Brits in the UK, though.

Where are you off to despoil next...? I'll start another thread for you.... ::)
The salmonella one. I've booked Monday off work just as a precaution. Glad to see that you are trying hard to improve Anglo-Aussie relations. Sir Les would be proud of you
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 30, 2013, 07:18:45 AM
I always thought that where you come from men are men and so are the women...

Mrs. Luke won't like that!  scared2:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Miss Adventure on November 30, 2013, 07:24:31 AM
Ooer, I was forgetting about Ms Cool scared2: scared2: I take it back
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 30, 2013, 07:27:54 AM
I always thought that where you come from men are men and so are the women...
Just in case of confusion, let me state that Cool Hand has never had relations with a male sheep, although there was one night which I can't quite remember. There were attractive goats in Bulgaria, but they were all spoken for.

Very courageous of Miss A to return to see Harry of Pissouri. He makes Jack the Ripper look like Mother Teresa.

Cool Hand is now off to show the Sheila of Slovenia what a red-blooded Aussie can do.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 30, 2013, 07:42:21 AM
Ooer, I was forgetting about Ms Cool scared2: scared2: I take it back

 point:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Miss Adventure on November 30, 2013, 07:47:10 AM
 redface: redface:
Ooer, I was forgetting about Ms Cool scared2: scared2: I take it back

 point:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 30, 2013, 07:58:53 AM
I always thought that where you come from men are men and so are the women...
Just in case of confusion, let me state that Cool Hand has never had relations with a male sheep, although there was one night which I can't quite remember. There were attractive goats in Bulgaria, but they were all spoken for.

Very courageous of Miss A to return to see Harry of Pissouri. He makes Jack the Ripper look like Mother Teresa.

Cool Hand is now off to show the Sheila of Slovenia what a red-blooded Aussie can do.

I'm sure your charm, wit and repartee will not be wasted on the fine laydees of Slovenia.....  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 30, 2013, 10:00:54 AM
Thanks, Barman. It's worked everywhere but Stockton-on-Tees.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 30, 2013, 10:01:53 AM
Thanks, Barman. It's worked everywhere but Pissouri.

 whistle:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 30, 2013, 10:09:05 AM
Thanks, Barman. It's worked everywhere but Pissouri.

 whistle:
Cool Hand does draw the line at Greeks and Poms: a man does need to have some standards.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: The Moan Ranger on November 30, 2013, 10:11:25 AM
Mr Luke is an Aussie?  Shocked:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Steve on November 30, 2013, 10:51:19 AM

Mr Luke is an Aussie?  Shocked:
With arrogance like that more like an NZer methunks
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 30, 2013, 12:52:13 PM
Mr Luke is an Aussie?  Shocked:

I think he is a fine cheeky chappy and my Grandfather would be proud to see that spirit in a descendant of someone he transported.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on November 30, 2013, 12:53:30 PM
Mr Luke is an Aussie?  Shocked:

I think he is a fine cheeky chappy and my Grandfather would be proud to see that spirit in a descendant of someone he transported.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on November 30, 2013, 03:17:40 PM
A relief to see Darwin in form. As far as I can see his IQ equals the combined IQ of the rest of you.

Good thinking by my ancestor: steal a loaf of bread and get a free trip to Godzone country. The only drawback was the presence of bog Irish on the ship.

The big mistake we made was to keep letting whingeing Poms in after the war, although I suppose it saved sending them food parcels of dripping and tripe. Thank heavens they now go to Cyprus instead.

Oh, and my father was a Kiwi, which might explain Cool Hand's fondness for sheep.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Steve on November 30, 2013, 04:38:47 PM
A relief to see Darwin in form.  . .
Darwin is often in form

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnakedhungrytraveller.com.au%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F11%2FDarwin_Skyline_Thunderstorm-NT-Tourism.jpg&hash=055604b8bc0b153045972cc4baf92c9f8f662a09)

but Darwins?  rubschin:

I'll get me coat
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Baldy on November 30, 2013, 09:07:00 PM
Mr Luke is an Aussie?  Shocked:

I think he is a fine cheeky chappy and my Grandfather would be proud to see that spirit in a descendant of someone he transported.

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Cool Hand Luke on December 02, 2013, 03:07:05 PM
Mr Luke is an Aussie?  Shocked:

I think he is a fine cheeky chappy and my Grandfather would be proud to see that spirit in a descendant of someone he transported.

 Thanks, Darwin. A kind word from a man of your standing is worth a thousand emoticons from intellectual cripples.

My extended family has asked me to pass on our gratitude to your grandfather.
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on December 02, 2013, 03:10:15 PM
Quote failure  point:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 02, 2013, 10:30:31 PM
Mr Luke is an Aussie?  Shocked:

I think he is a fine cheeky chappy and my Grandfather would be proud to see that spirit in a descendant of someone he transported.
Thanks, Darwin. A kind word from a man of your standing is worth a thousand emoticons from intellectual cripples.

My extended family has asked me to pass on our gratitude to your grandfather.

Mozo  RIP

***Sob***

Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on December 03, 2013, 07:07:12 AM
Mr Luke is an Aussie?  Shocked:

I think he is a fine cheeky chappy and my Grandfather would be proud to see that spirit in a descendant of someone he transported.
Thanks, Darwin. A kind word from a man of your standing is worth a thousand emoticons from intellectual cripples.

My extended family has asked me to pass on our gratitude to your grandfather.

Mozo  RIP

***Sob***

How old was he...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 03, 2013, 07:18:09 AM
Quote failure  point:

Something that has never happened to you of course..  whistle:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on December 09, 2013, 04:48:53 PM
I gather CHL will not be gracing us with his company any more.... ::)
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on December 09, 2013, 04:50:24 PM
Did you upset him?
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on December 09, 2013, 04:51:33 PM
Did you upset him?

Moi?  angel1
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Nick on December 09, 2013, 04:52:26 PM
That is a guilty plea then  ::)
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on December 09, 2013, 04:53:06 PM
That is a guilty plea then  ::)

No!  evil:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 09, 2013, 05:47:04 PM
That is a guilty plea then  ::)

No!  evil:

 char048
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Barman on December 09, 2013, 05:54:48 PM
 redface:
Title: Re: Zagreb
Post by: Baldy on December 09, 2013, 05:59:33 PM
redface:

 Thumbs: