The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: apc2010 on May 24, 2014, 06:54:38 PM
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All nice n ready like....... Thumbs:
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rubschin:
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Meet the New Nick, same as the old Nick?
/Old Who records mode
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Meet the New Nick, same as the old Nick?
/Old Who records mode
Maybe I should have put "thread "in the title......... rubschin:
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All nice n ready like....... Thumbs:
Postcards from Austria you say... rubschin:
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All nice n ready like....... Thumbs:
Postcards from Austria you say... rubschin:
He has a beard ....can he sing..... rubschin:
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Alarm set for 3.30 NickSick NickSick
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Alarm set for 3.30 NickSick NickSick
Me too.........wait do you mean PM ..... rubschin:
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noooo:
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Have a good flight Thumbs:
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Don't forget yer hat ;)
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Quiet...... scared2:
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A text floods in...... eeek:
He has a date!!! Popcorn:
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I have just had a very strange phone conversation with a nutty bloke
I have been asked to report that he arrived safely at his destination at about 1300 hrs local time. He is alive, caused no fatalities or accidents and to his knowledge no one as yet wants to kill him.
Since his arrival on spying a Labrador dog sleeping peacefully on a neighbouring roof top he though it prudent to throw sausages at it. He got bored, he got pissed he didn't like the sausage he purchased from the corner shop.
A near neighbour (a eyes: Dutch vegetarian, fish eating artist) was so impressed by his sausage throwing skills and compassion for the ravenous Labrador started chatting to him and then asked him if he would like to go out for lunch with her tomorrow. A near neighbour (a clog wearing dyke who had the decorators in) was so alarmed by him chucking his sausage about on the balcony she started shouting at him. Said artist is already fed up with him stalking her she has arranged to have him arrested at lunch time tomorrow.
His sister, a patron of the local donkey sanctuary has requested that he takes a carrot there tomorrow morning. His sister, a patron of the local donkey sanctuary has requested that he goes nowhere near there ever again after the devastation he caused there on his last visit and which she is still paying for.
He has no access to the internet until tomorrow morning when he can go and buy it from the corner shop. He has no access to the internet until tomorrow morning when Pedro comes to fix it as on arrival he tripped over some wires ripping them out of the socket.
Tuesdays local papers will carry the story of the mad sun burnt English man who, when caught by the renown lesbian hod carrier throwing his sausage at a dead dog, a much loved family pet which, only moments before had been lovingly laid to rest by three sobbing and heartbroken children proceeded to stalk her.
Furthermore the mad sun burnt English man was the cause of the fire which had swept through the local donkey sanctuary razing it to the ground. The fire started when the man dropped a sack of carrots which he had been carrying. It split on impact with the faeces covered stable floor. All would have been fine were it not for the fact that one carrot had bounced back up, knocking a lit cigarette from his mouth.
The mad sun burnt English man, in a statement to the press said that in an effort to prevent the devastating blaze he had crawled on all fours to the manure heap looking for the cigarette and that he simply had 'no idea' how the 12 inch carrot that was removed from his rectum by shocked hospital staff had got there.
Chief Inspector Clouseau confirmed that a mad sun burnt English man had been been arrested outside a fish restaurant on Monday at about 1300 hrs and that at the time of his arrest he smelt strongly of smoke and donkey manure, his shorts and underpants were around his ankles and that he had what appeared to be a very large carrot protruding from his anus. The Chief Inspector went on to say that the renowned lesbian hod carrier would not be pressing charges.
But hey you don't need me to tell you all this, he can tell you himself on his release. noooo:
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All i got was another message....."clean pants"
whose pants, one can only guess..... noooo:
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eeek:
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I have just had a very strange phone conversation with a nutty bloke
I have been asked to report that he arrived safely at his destination at about 1300 hrs local time. He is alive, caused no fatalities or accidents and to his knowledge no one as yet wants to kill him.
Since his arrival on spying a Labrador dog sleeping peacefully on a neighbouring roof top he though it prudent to throw sausages at it. He got bored, he got pissed he didn't like the sausage he purchased from the corner shop.
A near neighbour (a eyes: Dutch vegetarian, fish eating artist) was so impressed by his sausage throwing skills and compassion for the ravenous Labrador started chatting to him and then asked him if he would like to go out for lunch with him tomorrow. A near neighbour (a clog wearing dyke who had the decorators in) was so alarmed by him chucking his sausage about on the balcony she started shouting at him. Said artist is already fed up with him stalking her she has arranged to have him arrested at lunch time tomorrow.
His sister, a patron of the local donkey sanctuary has requested that he takes a carrot there tomorrow morning. His sister, a patron of the local donkey sanctuary has requested that he goes nowhere near there ever again after the devastation he caused there on his last visit and which she is still paying for.
He has no access to the internet until tomorrow morning when he can go and buy it from the corner shop. He has no access to the internet until tomorrow morning when Pedro comes to fix it as on arrival he tripped over some wires ripping them out of the socket.
Tuesdays local papers will carry the story of the mad sun burnt English man who, when caught by the renown lesbian hod carrier throwing his sausage at a dead dog, a much loved family pet which, only moments before had been lovingly laid to rest by three sobbing and heartbroken children proceeded to stalk her.
Furthermore the mad sun burnt English man was the cause of the fire which had swept through the local donkey sanctuary razing it to the ground. The fire started when the man dropped a sack of carrots which he had been carrying. It split on impact with the faeces covered stable floor. All would have been fine were it not for the fact that one carrot had bounced back up, knocking a lit cigarette from his mouth.
The mad sun burnt English man, in a statement to the press said that in an effort to prevent the devastating blaze he had crawled on all fours to the manure heap looking for the cigarette and that he simply had 'no idea' how the 12 inch carrot that was removed from his rectum by shocked hospital staff had got there.
Chief Inspector Clouseau confirmed that a mad sun burnt English man had been been arrested outside a fish restaurant on Monday at about 1300 hrs and that at the time of his arrest he smelt strongly of smoke and donkey manure, his shorts and underpants were around his ankles and that he had what appeared to be a very large carrot protruding from his anus. The Chief Inspector went on to say that the renowned lesbian hod carrier would not be pressing charges.
But hey you don't need me to tell you all this, he can tell you himself on his release. noooo:
happy001 happy001 happy001
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happy001 happy001 worthy: Miss C
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I have just had a very strange phone conversation with a nutty bloke
I have been asked to report that he arrived safely at his destination at about 1300 hrs local time. He is alive, caused no fatalities or accidents and to his knowledge no one as yet wants to kill him.
Since his arrival on spying a Labrador dog sleeping peacefully on a neighbouring roof top he though it prudent to throw sausages at it. He got bored, he got pissed he didn't like the sausage he purchased from the corner shop.
A near neighbour (a eyes: Dutch vegetarian, fish eating artist) was so impressed by his sausage throwing skills and compassion for the ravenous Labrador started chatting to him and then asked him if he would like to go out for lunch with him tomorrow. A near neighbour (a clog wearing dyke who had the decorators in) was so alarmed by him chucking his sausage about on the balcony she started shouting at him. Said artist is already fed up with him stalking her she has arranged to have him arrested at lunch time tomorrow.
His sister, a patron of the local donkey sanctuary has requested that he takes a carrot there tomorrow morning. His sister, a patron of the local donkey sanctuary has requested that he goes nowhere near there ever again after the devastation he caused there on his last visit and which she is still paying for.
He has no access to the internet until tomorrow morning when he can go and buy it from the corner shop. He has no access to the internet until tomorrow morning when Pedro comes to fix it as on arrival he tripped over some wires ripping them out of the socket.
Tuesdays local papers will carry the story of the mad sun burnt English man who, when caught by the renown lesbian hod carrier throwing his sausage at a dead dog, a much loved family pet which, only moments before had been lovingly laid to rest by three sobbing and heartbroken children proceeded to stalk her.
Furthermore the mad sun burnt English man was the cause of the fire which had swept through the local donkey sanctuary razing it to the ground. The fire started when the man dropped a sack of carrots which he had been carrying. It split on impact with the faeces covered stable floor. All would have been fine were it not for the fact that one carrot had bounced back up, knocking a lit cigarette from his mouth.
The mad sun burnt English man, in a statement to the press said that in an effort to prevent the devastating blaze he had crawled on all fours to the manure heap looking for the cigarette and that he simply had 'no idea' how the 12 inch carrot that was removed from his rectum by shocked hospital staff had got there.
Chief Inspector Clouseau confirmed that a mad sun burnt English man had been been arrested outside a fish restaurant on Monday at about 1300 hrs and that at the time of his arrest he smelt strongly of smoke and donkey manure, his shorts and underpants were around his ankles and that he had what appeared to be a very large carrot protruding from his anus. The Chief Inspector went on to say that the renowned lesbian hod carrier would not be pressing charges.
But hey you don't need me to tell you all this, he can tell you himself on his release. noooo:
happy001 happ096 we are not worthy Miss C worthy:
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Pure class Miss C lol: lol: lol: lol:
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evil: evil:
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Wonderful Miss C lol:
Sometimes fact is even more incredible than fiction lol:
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Lunch was v. successful. Invited round for wine and olives later eyes:
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Lunch was v. successful. Invited round for wine and olives later eyes:
Olives what...? rubschin:
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::)
She is VERy fit eyes: I am about to do some press ups, like.
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::)
She is VERy fit eyes: I am about to do some press ups, like.
Pork in cider press ups? You'll end up putting yer back out and it will all end in tears you mark my werds. noooo:
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Due at hers for drinks at 6 eyes:
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Twice in one day? That's quite sweet when you're young, but when you are erhmm, not so young it can have the whiff of desperation....
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Twice in one day? That's quite sweet when you're young, but when you are erhmm, not so young it can have the whiff of desperation....
lol: lol: lol:
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Twice in one day? That's quite sweet when you're young, but when you are erhmm, not so young it can have the whiff of desperation....
Him or her? rubschin:
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Due at hers for drinks at 6 eyes:
She is obviously a hired assassin rubschin:
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eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes: NickSick NickSick
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Twice in one day? That's quite sweet when you're young, but when you are erhmm, not so young it can have the whiff of desperation....
Him or her? rubschin:
Well, I was thinking of her, but now you mention it......
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eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes: NickSick NickSick
Popcorn:
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SHe has to go back to Amsterdam on Thursday sad24: But she is back here in September, so I shall have to come and visit, like. cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs24.postimg.org%2F7s3uca71d%2Fluce.jpg&hash=accfaf431af94e591b48c9d600fee7975733ede9) (http://postimg.org/image/7s3uca71d/)
She's popping in here later for wine and nibbles eyes: eyes:
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SHe has to go back to Amsterdam on Thursday sad24: But she is back here in September, so I shall have to come and visit, like. cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs24.postimg.org%2F7s3uca71d%2Fluce.jpg&hash=accfaf431af94e591b48c9d600fee7975733ede9) (http://postimg.org/image/7s3uca71d/)
She's popping in here later for wine and nibbles eyes: eyes:
Thumbs: Thumbs:
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SHe has to go back to Amsterdam on Thursday sad24: But she is back here in September, so I shall have to come and visit, like. cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs24.postimg.org%2F7s3uca71d%2Fluce.jpg&hash=accfaf431af94e591b48c9d600fee7975733ede9) (http://postimg.org/image/7s3uca71d/)
She's popping in here later for wine and nibbles eyes: eyes:
That orange dress suits her! Thumbs:
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Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
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SHe has to go back to Amsterdam on Thursday sad24: But she is back here in September, so I shall have to come and visit, like. cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs24.postimg.org%2F7s3uca71d%2Fluce.jpg&hash=accfaf431af94e591b48c9d600fee7975733ede9) (http://postimg.org/image/7s3uca71d/)
She's popping in here later for wine and nibbles eyes: eyes:
That orange dress suits her! Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
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Of course!! I've figured out the missing part of the story, the Labrador is her guide dog. rubschin:
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evil: evil:
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Of course!! I've figured out the missing part of the story, the Labrador is her guide dog. rubschin:
;D ;D
And explains the paintings........ whistle: redface:
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Spank2:
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I recall that Pasties, when he stayed here, drew my attention to this worrying feature of Pink Sis's balcony rubschin:
Inspiring!!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs27.postimg.org%2Fu58ej06db%2Fbalcony.jpg&hash=3650a9603daaf81c59510b694ca81bb31cd3751e) (http://postimg.org/image/u58ej06db/)
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SHe has to go back to Amsterdam on Thursday sad24: But she is back here in September, so I shall have to come and visit, like. cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs24.postimg.org%2F7s3uca71d%2Fluce.jpg&hash=accfaf431af94e591b48c9d600fee7975733ede9) (http://postimg.org/image/7s3uca71d/)
She's popping in here later for wine and nibbles eyes: eyes:
That orange dress suits her! Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
Best not give up her day job just yet noooo:
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SHe has to go back to Amsterdam on Thursday sad24: But she is back here in September, so I shall have to come and visit, like. cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs24.postimg.org%2F7s3uca71d%2Fluce.jpg&hash=accfaf431af94e591b48c9d600fee7975733ede9) (http://postimg.org/image/7s3uca71d/)
She's popping in here later for wine and nibbles eyes: eyes:
:thumbsup:
This seems to be a win win all round. You seem to have put a glint into her eye, a smile on your face and we've had a right laugh at the Miss C led all new back stories.
Wot's not to like - well apart from the wonky hung painting with the orange dress
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cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
Do Amazon sell hats? rubschin: rubschin:
Tipsy can be a bridesmaid :thumbsup:
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I recall that Pasties, when he stayed here, drew my attention to this worrying feature of Pink Sis's balcony rubschin:
Inspiring!!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs27.postimg.org%2Fu58ej06db%2Fbalcony.jpg&hash=3650a9603daaf81c59510b694ca81bb31cd3751e) (http://postimg.org/image/u58ej06db/)
Ah yes, I remember it well rubschin:
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All a bit quiet today...... rubschin:
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All a bit quiet today...... rubschin:
scared2:
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Hasn't he got on the bus ?
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Hasn't he got on the bus ?
He's prolly got on the other bus to try and improve his chances.... whistle:
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Spank2:
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The rainbow coloured one ? lol:
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Spank2:
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The rainbow coloured one ? lol:
Thass the one! Thumbs:
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Spank2:
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The rainbow coloured one ? lol:
Thass the one! Thumbs:
Not forgetting to change his FCUK t-shirt for an FMN8 one.
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The rainbow coloured one ? lol:
Thass the one! Thumbs:
Not forgetting to change his FCUK t-shirt for an FMN8 one.
happy001
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Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
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The rainbow coloured one ? lol:
Thass the one! Thumbs:
Not forgetting to change his FCUK t-shirt for an FMN8 one.
lol: lol: lol:
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The rainbow coloured one ? lol:
Thass the one! Thumbs:
Not forgetting to change his FCUK t-shirt for an FMN8 one.
happy001 happy001 happy001
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Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
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You really do like spanking Nick ::) There are websites for you ;) They will keep you occupied later angel1
So I am told Thumbs:
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I am now meeting a strange bloke for coffee at 11.30 rubschin: rubschin:
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Why Shrugs:
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Ex brother in law of a friend. She thinks he wants to shag her. He llives here. I am tasked to check him out. He was married to her twin sister (who died) and she has suspicions about his pressing invites......... scared2: scared2:
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Ex brother in law of a friend. She thinks he wants to shag her. He llives here. I am tasked to check him out. He was married to her twin sister (who died) and she has suspicions about his pressing invites......... scared2: scared2:
All booked up on that well known travel website......wierd-ginger-swingers-midgetporn-bring-your-mates-and-the-disabled-lollipop-laydee-from-your-junior-skewell.com. Thumbs:
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I just wanted a quiet week in the sun. It has turned into a weird a porn fest noooo: noooo:
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Ex brother in law of a friend. She thinks he wants to shag her. He llives here. I am tasked to check him out. He was married to her twin sister (who died) and she has suspicions about his pressing invites......... scared2: scared2:
She is right to worry eeek: Perhaps she has it wrong and he just wants to feel close to his wife (if they are identical) scared2:
Or perhaps she is right and he just wants to shag her Shrugs:
Either way confused: scared2: scared2:
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Meeting at the posh hotel (the one with all the stray cats)
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He has a date with a man rubschin:
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I have been tasked to do therapy eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
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You are very hands on lol:
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Wot a week!! NickSick
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I have been tasked to do therapy eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
No just ask him " Do you want to shag her ? or are you just fVcking weird " see what he says Shrugs:
He might punch you in the ear and make it better Thumbs:
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Yeah ...just ask him what he's into ? ;D
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Yeah ...just ask him what he's into ? ;D
lol: :thumbsup:
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A full report may follow. Wish me luck
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A full report may follow. Wish me luck
:thumbsup:
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A full report may follow. Wish me luck
If it involves 'spanked monkey or choked chicken' on the menu do not bother. noooo:
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A full report may follow. Wish me luck
In a minute Nick you will wake up with the world all wavy lines for a bit and realise that it was all real
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Ex brother in law of a friend. She thinks he wants to shag her. He llives here. I am tasked to check him out. He was married to her twin sister (who died) and she has suspicions about his pressing invites......... scared2: scared2:
All booked up on that well known travel website......wierd-ginger-swingers-midgetporn-bring-your-mates-and-the-disabled-lollipop-laydee-from-your-junior-skewell.com. Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
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Well that was fun...... Thumbs:
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Well, I have come back with an ear infection and some anti ear pills the size of billiard balls. Oh, and an exploded jar of honey in my suitcase cussing:
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Well, I have come back with an ear infection and some anti ear pills the size of billiard balls. Oh, and an exploded jar of honey in my suitcase cussing:
noooo:
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Everyfink in the case was clean cussing: And I lost a pair of pants noooo:
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Everyfink in the case was clean cussing: And I lost a pair of pants noooo:
Did the ladee they landed on keep them eeek:
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Good job I left yesterday scared2: scared2: scared2: scared2:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs28.postimg.org%2Fhwl9j9r61%2Fnerja.jpg&hash=a038a6fa0b767f55d91e1690f3d719e9dd680f33) (http://postimg.org/image/hwl9j9r61/)
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I have been tasked to do therapy eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
To be fair, we have been telling you that for years now. whistle:
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Well, I have come back with an ear infection and some anti ear pills the size of billiard balls. Oh, and an exploded jar of honey in my suitcase cussing:
Was that a honey trap too ? rubschin:
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Well, I have come back with an ear infection and some anti ear pills the size of billiard balls. Oh, and an exploded jar of honey in my suitcase cussing:
Was that a honey trap too ? rubschin:
drumroll:
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cussing: cussing: