The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Barman on August 28, 2007, 11:02:11 AM
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Why is it so difficult to get things, anything to work when you need it?
We?ve covered relationships with suppliers that just ignore their contractual responsibilities but why can?t simple things like FAX machines work when you want them to?
Bloody thing wasn?t cheap and sits there for 99.99998% of the time doing absolutely nothing ?cept being on standby and causing calamitous weather all around the planet (and on others too I should be surprised).
Yet on that one occasion a week when you want the bloody thing to send a two page bloody FAX it refuses to cooperate!
First it sucks both pages in together turning it into a one page FAX and ensuring that you will stand over the bloody thing just to make sure it works.
Then you try to re-send the second page but, flushed with its success of winding you up with its first little trick it refuses to suck that one in at all and announces that it has a ?paper jam?. No you haven?t you worthless piece of shite you haven?t any paper at all! Banghead
To add insult to injury it then has to print a report (using a whole page of the very expensive ribbon stuff) to announce to the world that it had an error in case you had been stupid enough to walk away from it in the bizarre expectation that it might just actually do what you had asked it to do!
When it finally finishes printing its report about five minutes later you have to press the [STOP] button ? to stop what I have no idea and cause an unnecessary (IMHO) period of clanking and grinding to take place ? some form of FAX machine showing off I shouldn?t be surprised.
Then finally, when it all settles down you can try to send the page again ? this time of course because you have nothing better to do in your worthless life you stand over the machine and at the fist sign of hesitation stuff the recalcitrant page down its throat like a worming pill down a cat ? take that you little bastard! cussing:
I feel better now... redface:
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cry: I've got one of them too...
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I can understand how things of a technical nature suffer from temperamental tantrums - well actually to say I understand is a bit of a lie - I expect these things to happen is probably more accurate.
But some things when they stop working just really boil my noodles evil: Upon returning back to London yesterday (after the delights a train journey from First Great Western - compunded by the Reading massive all trying to get on - funnily enough at Reading and then joining the Notting Hill posse at Paddington all trying to understand why the Circle Line was closed (It's full ya eejits) .......I got home and tried my door key.
No joy.
For some inexplicable reason the Chubb lock on my front door had seized and it would not turn. How? Why? It worked fine on Saturday when I left. Had no prior history of defects. It had not frozen over. It had not melted in 20 degree heat. It had not been filled with Superglue by some bored teenager. It just gave up!!!!!!!!!!
This resulted in me having to scale the back garden fence and use the rear entry - shocked003. I cut my hand. sad24: I grazed my knee sad24: and even after all that effort it still bloody well won't budge from the inside - although at least I got in.
Why why why why why??????????
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Why is it so difficult to get things, anything to work when you need it?
We?ve covered relationships with suppliers that just ignore their contractual responsibilities but why can?t simple things like FAX machines work when you want them to?
Bloody thing wasn?t cheap and sits there for 99.99998% of the time doing absolutely nothing ?cept being on standby and causing calamitous weather all around the planet (and on others too I should be surprised).
Yet on that one occasion a week when you want the bloody thing to send a two page bloody FAX it refuses to cooperate!
First it sucks both pages in together turning it into a one page FAX and ensuring that you will stand over the bloody thing just to make sure it works.
Then you try to re-send the second page but, flushed with its success of winding you up with its first little trick it refuses to suck that one in at all and announces that it has a ?paper jam?. No you haven?t you worthless piece of shite you haven?t any paper at all! Banghead
To add insult to injury it then has to print a report (using a whole page of the very expensive ribbon stuff) to announce to the world that it had an error in case you had been stupid enough to walk away from it in the bizarre expectation that it might just actually do what you had asked it to do!
When it finally finishes printing its report about five minutes later you have to press the [STOP] button ? to stop what I have no idea and cause an unnecessary (IMHO) period of clanking and grinding to take place ? some form of FAX machine showing off I shouldn?t be surprised.
Then finally, when it all settles down you can try to send the page again ? this time of course because you have nothing better to do in your worthless life you stand over the machine and at the fist sign of hesitation stuff the recalcitrant page down its throat like a worming pill down a cat ? take that you little bastard! cussing:
I feel better now... redface:
I threw two such away last week. For the sake of the three or four people I know who have a fax and might just send me one and expect a reply it just wasn't worth the aggravation.
As for Miss D ~ are you sure you are using the right key? ~ You wouldn't be the first. redface:
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WD 40
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It probably got upset at being left all on it's own over the holiday.
I don't suppose any of your family indulge in key swapping for laughs do they?
Mine have! And laughed and laughed as I got arrested breaking into MY bedroom window. evil:
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Yes Snoops I was using the right key .......mine are all colour coded with special Key caps lol: lol: lol:. But I tried them all anyway.
Yes Nick - I tried WD40 - and all that did was make stains down the door.
The only solution is obviously to get a new front door lol:
;)
As for the key swapping - i have spare sets at my mum's (obviously really useful in Somerset), at my friends and at work. As for this swapping business of which you speak - I am not that kind of girl ;)
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Yes Snoops I was using the right key .......mine are all colour coded with special Key caps lol: lol: lol:. But I tried them all anyway.
Yes Nick - I tried WD40 - and all that did was make stains down the door.
The only solution is obviously to get a new front door lol:
Spoken like a true lady ....... "Let's have a new door"
Clean off the WD40 stains, call a locksmith, if he can't fix it, get him to fit a new lock.
It will be cheaper but I guess it will not have the frisson associated with shopping for a new door ~ so many to choose from, so many shops to visit. ::)
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The only solution is obviously to get a new front door lol:
Try banging sharply or leaning hard against the door (from inside obviously) whilst trying to turn the key to help dislodge the bolt.
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Try banging sharply or leaning hard against the door whilst trying to turn the key to help dislodge the bolt.
I've done that when I'm drunk and that didn't suceed even when the lock was working lol:
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Are you sure it is locked?
Again you wouldn't be the first redface:
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Are you sure it is locked?
Again you wouldn't be the first redface:
I promise you it is locked - there is no way on earth I am going to even attempt to scale a fence unless I am absolutely sure there is no other option.
I am not completely clueless - rubschin: lol:
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Well if it's a new front door and your old one needed a chub lock you'll get very little change out of £600 and you still have to buy and have fitted a new lock ~ there's another £100. ...... Still shrugs: It's your money.
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Well if it's a new front door and your old one needed a chub lock you'll get very little change out of ?600 and you still have to buy and have fitted a new lock ~ there's another ?100. ...... Still shrugs: It's your money.
Well I thought I would go with trying to see if I could get a new lock 1st before having to consider the possibility of a new door. Especially now you have said that scared2:
Is it too early in the day to turn to alcohol?
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Well if it's a new front door and your old one needed a chub lock you'll get very little change out of ?600 and you still have to buy and have fitted a new lock ~ there's another ?100. ...... Still shrugs: It's your money.
Well I thought I would go with trying to see if I could get a new lock 1st before having to consider the possibility of a new door. Especially now you have said that scared2:
Is it too early in the day to turn to alcohol?
Like the song says ~ "Pour it tall and strong ......... It's five o'clock somewhere"
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Are you sure it?s your house? whistle:
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Yes Snoops I was using the right key .......mine are all colour coded with special Key caps lol: lol: lol:. But I tried them all anyway.
Yes Nick - I tried WD40 - and all that did was make stains down the door.
The only solution is obviously to get a new front door lol:
Spoken like a true lady ....... "Let's have a new door"
Clean off the WD40 stains, call a locksmith, if he can't fix it, get him to fit a new lock.
It will be cheaper but I guess it will not have the frisson associated with shopping for a new door ~ so many to choose from, so many shops to visit. ::)
Tee hee
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Thinking further about it; I suppose it may have been damaged in an attempt to break in...
In which case - a good lock.
Anyway, seems you won't know until the lock is looked at - best by a locksmith!
Do you have exposed hinges on your door? If so, it will be relatively easy to get at the lock... If not, a locksmith becomes essential.
I'm still of the mind that it has jammed somehow. Try again when it's cooler.
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Or when she is cooler?
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Or when she is cooler?
Both!
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Thinking further about it; I suppose it may have been damaged in an attempt to break in...
In which case - a good lock.
Anyway, seems you won't know until the lock is looked at - best by a locksmith!
Do you have exposed hinges on your door? If so, it will be relatively easy to get at the lock... If not, a locksmith becomes essential.
I'm still of the mind that it has jammed somehow. Try again when it's cooler.
Well having just returned home and having to climb over the fence again - I have perfected my technique now so no injuries this time cool14: - I am again checking the lock after receiving your words of wisdom.
Thanks for the break in scenario - scared2: - that has left me slightly unhinged.
I have tried to budge the bloody thing again and it is definitely having none of it evil:
I will have to resort to the locksmith scenario I think..... sad32:
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You haven't dropped the button on the back of the lock that stops it being unlocked from the outside have you?
Again you wouldn't be the first
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Watch out for that axe!
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You haven't dropped the button on the back of the lock that stops it being unlocked from the outside have you?
Again you wouldn't be the first
eeeeerrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm NO
Right to set the record straight Yes - it is my house
I am using the right key in the right lock (checked and verified on numerous occassions now)
I can confirm it is still locked and jammed in that position
I have not pressed any buttons or tampered with the lock in any way prior to this event occurring
I have banged, slammed , oiled, greased, shunted, wiggled, fiddled and kicked the door - to no effect
I am not imagining this
and yes this is now personal evil: Banghead crash:
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Thinking further about it; I suppose it may have been damaged in an attempt to break in...
In which case - a good lock.
Anyway, seems you won't know until the lock is looked at - best by a locksmith!
Do you have exposed hinges on your door? If so, it will be relatively easy to get at the lock... If not, a locksmith becomes essential.
I'm still of the mind that it has jammed somehow. Try again when it's cooler.
Well having just returned home and having to climb over the fence again - I have perfected my technique now so no injuries this time cool14: - I am again checking the lock after receiving your words of wisdom.
Thanks for the break in scenario - scared2: - that has left me slightly unhinged.
I did say attempted break-in - better a jammed lock than an empty house!
Don't forget to lock up before you go to bed ....... (duck)
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On a brighter note, my laptop has recovered from the juice incident, hard drive quickly backed up. Half the keys don't work but i'm sure i've a big enough
ocablary word stuff to cope!
As for the fax, can't you set up your e-mail to send and receive 'faxes'?
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As for the fax, can't you set up your e-mail to send and receive 'faxes'?
This works for 99.999% of the few that we send?
There are the occasional contracts that need signing and returning though? Yes, I could scan them in and e-mail them back? rubschin:
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I did say attempted break-in - better a jammed lock than an empty house!
Don't forget to lock up before you go to bed ....... (duck)
Think I am going to go for the lock in more than the lock up - seems only right lol:
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I did say attempted break-in - better a jammed lock than an empty house!
Don't forget to lock up before you go to bed ....... (duck)
Think I am going to go for the lock in more than the lock up - seems only right lol:
Was it over the fence to work this morning? hope you wore something sensible... confused:
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I did say attempted break-in - better a jammed lock than an empty house!
Don't forget to lock up before you go to bed ....... (duck)
Think I am going to go for the lock in more than the lock up - seems only right lol:
Was it over the fence to work this morning? hope you wore something sensible... confused:
You know Miss D ~ Leg over every morning and again every night lol:
I wouldn't have risked that had she been here scared:
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I did say attempted break-in - better a jammed lock than an empty house!
Don't forget to lock up before you go to bed ....... (duck)
Think I am going to go for the lock in more than the lock up - seems only right lol:
Well?
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Was it over the fence to work this morning? hope you wore something sensible... confused:
You know Miss D ~ Leg over every morning and again every night lol:
I wouldn't have risked that had she been here scared:
If only eyes:
Unfortunately my grazed knees cannot be put down to carpet burns ;D
Until I get my lock fixed (on SUNDAY ) I will be having to hurdle over the back morning and night. At this rate I may make the Olympic team yet (paraolympics obviously lol:)
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Well, at least you won't forget about it........... ;)
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Well, at least you won't forget about it........... ;)
I am a girly - I never forget anything (of importance of course)
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Well, at least you won't forget about it........... ;)
I am a girly - I never forget anything (of importance of course)
Ah Yes! That'd be shoes and chocolate and stuff like that.... whistle:
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Ah Yes! That'd be shoes and chocolate and stuff like that.... whistle:
That about sums it up - you are obviously very in touch with your feminine side lol:
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Ah Yes! That'd be shoes and chocolate and stuff like that.... whistle:
That about sums it up - you are obviously very in touch with your feminine side lol:
Don't forget shopping!
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Was it over the fence to work this morning? hope you wore something sensible... confused:
You know Miss D ~ Leg over every morning and again every night lol:
I wouldn't have risked that had she been here scared:
If only eyes:
Unfortunately my grazed knees cannot be put down to carpet burns ;D
Until I get my lock fixed (on SUNDAY ) I will be having to hurdle over the back morning and night. At this rate I may make the Olympic team yet (paraolympics obviously lol:)
Is it lock-fix day? whistle:
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And how are the knees holding out?
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Mrs Nick has just told me to mow a lawn. I have reminded her that the lawnmower is away being repaired. Why it has taken 2 weeks I know not, but what can I do? shrugs:
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I'll fax you a pair of nail scissors. ;)
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evil:
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There are a number of sheep wandering round the village today ~ would you like me to send you one?
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Anyway quit bitching. I have a "Fing wot don work" problem worth serious moaning time.
My computer has died (RIP - you little shit evil:)
What is so bad about that? you may well ask, well on Wednesday I was pondering whether to upgrade my computer or not, it's getting on a bit but works OK and is fully loaded with - now obsolete - expensive add-ons. I didn't really fancy starting over and I still had some expansion space left. Vista is still an expensive joke and nothing I possess works with it. So I decided to upgrade to the max with memory. I ordered an extra 1Gb that arrived the next day - but... That morning, the damn computer started to malfunction, rebooting at random. Late on Friday I eventually diagnosed a terminal problem in the motherboard and it would need replacing.
Everyone on the net claimed to have one but on closer examination it seemed they 'no longer stocked' this item, telling me basically that I have a pile of shite and should get a new one. evil: I had just decided not to do that and spent even more on it. Worse, I found an 'antiques' site that had the very one (and only one) that I needed, I could almost hear the laugh as they racked up the price to new +20% because 'I Needed it!' and penalty next day courier delivery (don't do Saturdays) "Why should I pay premium for next week delivery?" "Oh? I thought you said you needed it Sir?" Bastards evil:
So my computer is in tiny bits and waiting (I can de-fluff it now ::)) whilst I glower and growl and fret. I feel like my arm has been cut off. Yes, I still have the laptop, but it's just not the same, my room is quiet - lacking that powerful purring of multitudes of efficient machi------ Oh Stop it! It's only a computer, FFS.
I could be having fun - like for example - putting a new lock on my front door. lol: Or mowing a lawn with scissors or herding sheep or 'putting the beer away' confused:
I wonder what time day my new motherboard will arrive? Will it work? Can I contain my impatience?
Bang! silence.........
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Your mistake was ordering the new memory on-line?
Your computer could see what you were up to and committed suicide because of it.
RIP computer. noooo:
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Shades of 2001 (A Space Odyssey) about that thought BM.
"I won't let you do that to me Dave" etc.
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Is it lock-fix day? whistle:
Banghead Banghead Banghead
T'was indeed lock fix day - or so I thought sad24:
The only day I could do this week was Sunday and the 'man' said no worries it would not incur any greater cost to come on a Sunday than any other day of the week - I guess I should have been suspicious then.
During the conversation I explained fully what type of lock it was - an oval thumb turn ....however it seems he either thought I didn't have a clue what I was talking about or just wasn't listening ( I will not add any further comment to that although it is tempting !!). So he turns up today... had to hurdle the fence - looks at the front door and says " Oh yeah you will need a new lock ...normally it only needs a bit of WD40 and women never think to do that "
thatsit:
Then he goes on to say he hasn't got one of those on him he might have to pop off to Homebase and see if they have any.
What are the odds - of course they don't . He rang me from the van to say he will be back Tuesday night as he is working late then.
So I bit my tongue, exhaled and went to practice my polevaulting over the fence.
cussing:
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Get there before him on Tuesday night, scale fence, get nail and hammer. Hammer the nail through the top of the fence at the point where he will have to climb it. freddy:
When he rips his trousers, leg open etc look innocent, flutter eyelashes and say "Didn't you remember ~I told you to be careful of that nail the last time you climbed the fence. Give him a bottle of TCP and a sticky plaster and show him the way to the lock whilst you go into the kitchen to make a "Cup of Tea". Emerge from kitchen bearing a steaming cuppa, just as he finishes the job. Smile sweetly and say "How much did we agree?" Pay him whilst he eyes the cuppa and say "Thank you .... Good bye" whistle:
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Thinking further about it; I suppose it may have been damaged in an attempt to break in...
Anyway, seems you won't know until the lock is looked at - best by a locksmith!
It would appear your cynical view of life is spot on sad24:
Apparently it would appear someone attempted to kick the door in. The lock held but was twisted in the frame. Hence no one could get in - even the pondlife that was trying by force.
Took over two hours last night to repair, replace and renew.
Can only think they were after my valuable collection of shoes noooo:
Anyway - it was very nice to go out the house this morning via the front door and wearing a skirt again lol:
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Ummm how did one get ones child out of the house? eeek:
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Ummm how did one get ones child out of the house? eeek:
Oops I knew I was forgetting something lol:
For the past week or so we have been polevaulting over the back fence. I am now quite good lol:
Only downside of this now is that she is terrified someone is trying to break in and last night we had to revert to having the lights back on.
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Ummm how did one get ones child out of the house? eeek:
Oops I knew I was forgetting something lol:
For the past week or so we have been polevaulting over the back fence. I am now quite good lol:
Only downside of this now is that she is terrified someone is trying to break in and last night we had to revert to having the lights back on.
Ahhh yes. I remember when I was young and we had burglars. I wasn't the same for months afterwards. noooo:
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Anyway quit bitching. I have a "Fing wot don work" problem worth serious moaning time.
My computer has died (RIP - you little shit evil:)
What is so bad about that? you may well ask, well on Wednesday I was pondering whether to upgrade my computer or not, it's getting on a bit but works OK and is fully loaded with - now obsolete - expensive add-ons. I didn't really fancy starting over and I still had some expansion space left. Vista is still an expensive joke and nothing I possess works with it. So I decided to upgrade to the max with memory. I ordered an extra 1Gb that arrived the next day - but... That morning, the damn computer started to malfunction, rebooting at random. Late on Friday I eventually diagnosed a terminal problem in the motherboard and it would need replacing.
Everyone on the net claimed to have one but on closer examination it seemed they 'no longer stocked' this item, telling me basically that I have a pile of shite and should get a new one. evil: I had just decided not to do that and spent even more on it. Worse, I found an 'antiques' site that had the very one (and only one) that I needed, I could almost hear the laugh as they racked up the price to new +20% because 'I Needed it!' and penalty next day courier delivery (don't do Saturdays) "Why should I pay premium for next week delivery?" "Oh? I thought you said you needed it Sir?" Bastards evil:
So my computer is in tiny bits and waiting (I can de-fluff it now ::)) whilst I glower and growl and fret. I feel like my arm has been cut off. Yes, I still have the laptop, but it's just not the same, my room is quiet - lacking that powerful purring of multitudes of efficient machi------ Oh Stop it! It's only a computer, FFS.
I could be having fun - like for example - putting a new lock on my front door. lol: Or mowing a lawn with scissors or herding sheep or 'putting the beer away' confused:
I wonder what time day my new motherboard will arrive? Will it work? Can I contain my impatience?
Bang! silence.........
This is possibly a stupid question but I've known people do this in the past, did you order compatible memory? scared:
I've seen all sorts of wierd things happening with people who have used different speed memory on dual channel capable motherboards.
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Thank you for the interest, but as I have 3 Gb of PC3200 - one brand new evil: I chose the MoBo to fit the memory - as it were.
They are three matched Crucial boards And now (hopfully) I'll be able to run them with a 400MHz FSB rather than the 333 that I had.
I don't quite understand why I have two RJ45 Net ports though....... To set up as a domain perhaps?
Gosh! I have SATA Raid too eeek:
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WTF was that post about. eeek: Is there a translator in the house?
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WTF was that post about. eeek: Is there a translator in the house?
Nick, it's techie stuff - with your reputation it would be best to leave it. Otherwise every PC on the planet will self-destruct due to your influence. In fact, it would seem that just your interest is haaaaaavvvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg an unwarranted effect on mi
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Thinking further about it; I suppose it may have been damaged in an attempt to break in...
Anyway, seems you won't know until the lock is looked at - best by a locksmith!
It would appear your cynical view of life is spot on sad24:
Apparently it would appear someone attempted to kick the door in. The lock held but was twisted in the frame. Hence no one could get in - even the pondlife that was trying by force.
Took over two hours last night to repair, replace and renew.
Can only think they were after my valuable collection of shoes noooo:
Anyway - it was very nice to go out the house this morning via the front door and wearing a skirt again lol:
I'm sorry to hear that, but better a damaged lock than a turned-over home eh?
Life has taught me that a cynical outlook has saved me from many disappointments....
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Life has taught me that a cynical outlook has saved me from many disappointments....
Glad it's not just me then. I'm constantly critisised for being over cynical about everything and everyone.
I always explain that it's better to be that way, so if something DOES go right noooo: then it comes as a nice suprise. eeek:
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Dont know if they are still selling them but in the brown box component section in PC world they were flogging 250gb SATA2 drives for ?60.
Memory wise if you can get them Geil/Golden Dragon dual channel memory is pretty much unbeatable, just be careful searching for it on an office computer. The last time I tried googling 'Geil Dual Channel' from the office the firewall blocked it as porn. Either there is a dyslexic domain namer out there or some scarey IT geek is getting their jollies off flicking through a copy of computer shopper eeek:
Life has taught me that a cynical outlook has saved me from many disappointments....
Glad it's not just me then. I'm constantly critisised for being over cynical about everything and everyone.
I always explain that it's better to be that way, so if something DOES go right noooo: then it comes as a nice suprise. eeek:
Plan for the worst, hope for the best. Nothing wrong with that mindset Growler. happy088
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Dont know if they are still selling them but in the brown box component section in PC world they were flogging 250gb SATA2 drives for ?60.
Memory wise if you can get them Geil/Golden Dragon dual channel memory is pretty much unbeatable, just be careful searching for it on an office computer. The last time I tried googling 'Geil Dual Channel' from the office the firewall blocked it as porn. Either there is a dyslexic domain namer out there or some scarey IT geek is getting their jollies off flicking through a copy of computer shopper eeek:
Life has taught me that a cynical outlook has saved me from many disappointments....
Plan for the worst, hope for the best. Nothing wrong with that mindset Growler. happy088
Tell Mrs Growler that then. She insists that I'm just a miserable old get. ::)
I never get disappointed about anything as a consequence of my constant cynical outlook on life, that's why I'm so bloody happy all the time! noooo:
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Too true! I planned for the worst today and it happened - as expected - no surprises there then. sad24:
It's only being a grumpy old barstard that keeps me going evil:
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Well, my Hewlett-Packard calculator doesn?t work now. Its been my favourite since I bought it in 1987. cussing:
Why do they make 12V batteries the same size as 1.5V batteries? Banghead
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Do you need a calculator to add up the takings at this pub?
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Do you need a calculator to add up the takings at this pub?
No, the fingers on one hand would be more than sufficient for that? noooo:
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Do you need a calculator to add up the takings at this pub?
No, the fingers on one hand would be more than sufficient for that? noooo:
The fingers of one finger I would have thought. (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fwhacky011.gif&hash=1580314c5659239f8f6a2a4cfac7585022a90d4f)
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Well if he'd stop drinking the profits it wouldn't be a problem! censored: