The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on April 27, 2016, 05:35:49 AM
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Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight
Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go
I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:
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Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight
Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go
I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:
happy001
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He will now be under surveillance for sure noooo:
European sex slave trafficking offences against minors to be the next charge lol:
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evil: scared2:
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Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight
Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go
I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:
:thumbsup:
You'd have been distapointed with any other response
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He will now be under surveillance for sure noooo:
European sex slave trafficking offences against minors to be the next charge lol:
Either that or they think he is a drugs mule ass... rubschin:
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He will now be under surveillance for sure noooo:
European sex slave trafficking offences against minors to be the next charge lol:
Not sure which is worse cheese smuggling or people smuggling. Cheesy people smuggling might work. rubschin:
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Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight
Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go
I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:
Thumbs:
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When I told a cabby about this earlier he claimed to be a former drug smuggler and asked me what colour jacket I was wearing. Brown.
That's it, he declared, they are bored stiff and they play cusstomer snooker. It was the turn for a brown ball and you were it rubschin:
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When I told a cabby about this earlier he claimed to be a former drug smuggler and asked me what colour jacket I was wearing. Brown.
That's it, he declared, they are bored stiff and they play cusstomer snooker. It was the turn for a brown ball and you were it rubschin:
When is he moving here ??
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Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight
Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go
I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:
Bravo :thumbsup:
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Location: Gatwick Green Customs channel
Time: Midnight
Lady Customs officer: Good evening sir, where are you travelling from?
Me: Malaga
Her: Where is your luggage?
Me: I don’t have any
Her: Why not?
Me: I haven’t got any
Her: Are you travelling alone?
Me: Yes
Her: Why have you got no luggage?
Me: Well, I only went for lunch….
Her: YOU WENT TO MALAGA FOR LUNCH??
Me: Yes, why not?
Her: Do you often go to Malaga just for lunch?
Me: No, but my friend Jon recently moved there and……..
Her: You went to Malaga for lunch????
Me: Yes, I have some photographs if you’d like……
Her: Have you got a passport?
Me: Yes, I just came through Passport Control
Her: Show me
I give her my passport. She examines it closely.
Her: What do you do for a living?
I make up something plausible
Her: What is in that little bag?
Me: Cheese
Her: Do you often travel internationally carrying only a piece of cheese
Me: No, but I always buy some cheese when I go to Spain, don’t you?
She eyes me and takes the cheese off me
Her: Where do you live?
Me: Nottingham
Her: You are going to Nottingham now?
Me: No, Brighton
Her: Why are you going to Brighton?
Me: I am looking after some cats………………I have photographs of them too if……………
Her: (handing me my passport and my cheese) Just go
I think she was some sort of loony. noooo:
Bravo :thumbsup:
Her, or Nick
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I can just see the Customs Officers staff room when they are on a break...
"You wouldn't believe the oddball that came in today..."
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evil:
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It seems that the Nick effect may be spreading..... scared2:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3563464/Business-student-blows-700-pub-night-ends-trip-Magaluf-fly-home-just-SIX-HOURS-later.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3563464/Business-student-blows-700-pub-night-ends-trip-Magaluf-fly-home-just-SIX-HOURS-later.html)
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It seems that the Nick effect may be spreading..... scared2:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3563464/Business-student-blows-700-pub-night-ends-trip-Magaluf-fly-home-just-SIX-HOURS-later.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3563464/Business-student-blows-700-pub-night-ends-trip-Magaluf-fly-home-just-SIX-HOURS-later.html)
WTF? eeek:
Where did he get the cash for that lot...? noooo:
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It seems that the Nick effect may be spreading..... scared2:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3563464/Business-student-blows-700-pub-night-ends-trip-Magaluf-fly-home-just-SIX-HOURS-later.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3563464/Business-student-blows-700-pub-night-ends-trip-Magaluf-fly-home-just-SIX-HOURS-later.html)
WTF? eeek:
Where did he get the cash for that lot...? noooo:
The cynical side of me suspects he was selling 'things' while he was over there... rubschin:
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It seems that the Nick effect may be spreading..... scared2:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3563464/Business-student-blows-700-pub-night-ends-trip-Magaluf-fly-home-just-SIX-HOURS-later.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3563464/Business-student-blows-700-pub-night-ends-trip-Magaluf-fly-home-just-SIX-HOURS-later.html)
WTF? eeek:
Where did he get the cash for that lot...? noooo:
The cynical side of me suspects he was selling 'things' while he was over there... rubschin:
rubschin:
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Return flight to Malaga on Dec 8th just £26 cloud9:
Off I go cloud9:
What can possibly go wrong?
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Return flight to Malaga on Dec 8th just £26 cloud9:
Off I go cloud9:
What can possibly go wrong?
Who are you flying with and where from? angel1 ( eveilgrin: )
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Ryanair scared2:
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Ryanair scared2:
Flight to Malaga that actually lands in Dubrovnik you say... rubschin:
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Return flight to Malaga on Dec 8th just £26 cloud9:
Off I go cloud9:
What can possibly go wrong?
From whose viewpoint?
Nottingham residents hearts may have sank at the word 'return'
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sad32:
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Another flying lunch trip?
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Yup, to see that there Pasties. But I am staying over in a hotel at Malaga airport this time
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Weird people at Gatwick increases by one... whistle:
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I am going from the local aerodrome ::)
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Pasties reports forecast is 17C and not raining cloud9:
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Pasties reports forecast is 17C and not raining cloud9:
22 here and not raining... whistle:
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An invitation to stay cloud9:
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An invitation to stay cloud9:
eeek:
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An invitation to stay cloud9:
eeek:
And Nottingham was so hoping
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An invitation to stay cloud9:
eeek:
Barman has been taken over by that there Christmas hospitality virus scared2:
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An invitation to stay cloud9:
eeek:
Barman has been taken over by that there Christmas hospitality virus scared2:
We could charter a plane and all go to stay. :thumbsup:
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An invitation to stay cloud9:
eeek:
Barman has been taken over by that there Christmas hospitality virus scared2:
We could charter a plane and all go to stay. :thumbsup:
cloud9:
I have home brew! Thumbs:
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An invitation to stay cloud9:
eeek:
Barman has been taken over by that there Christmas hospitality virus scared2:
We could charter a plane and all go to stay. :thumbsup:
cloud9:
I have home brew! Thumbs:
You want to stay in a place that will have both BM AND Nick in close proximity to his home brew? eeek:
That's a critical mass of gubberation and blunderment... scared2:
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An invitation to stay cloud9:
eeek:
Barman has been taken over by that there Christmas hospitality virus scared2:
We could charter a plane and all go to stay. :thumbsup:
cloud9:
I have home brew! Thumbs:
Any vodka in the freezer ? cloud9:
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An invitation to stay cloud9:
eeek:
Barman has been taken over by that there Christmas hospitality virus scared2:
We could charter a plane and all go to stay. :thumbsup:
cloud9:
I have home brew! Thumbs:
Any vodka in the freezer ? cloud9:
Oh yes, always! ;D
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Not for long if she turns up noooo: