The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on February 22, 2017, 02:12:06 PM
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I will start you off:
Dear Bride
If you are, koff, a larger lady we recommend that you should appoint bridesmaids who look like heffalumps to make your wedding photos more flattering.
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Dear Brides.
Under no circumstances offer a free buffet or anything else free at your wedding.
You just can't trust the staff here...
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Dear Brides,
You may think a beach wedding is romantic...
But all the laydees in high heels will sink in the sand, break their ankles or burn their feet when they remove their ridiculously unsuitable shoes...
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If there are kiddies at your wedding, including your own, you may wish to take advantage of our kiddy entertainer complete with clown car and two clowns. Your guests will howl.
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Dear Brides.
Under no circumstances offer a free buffet or anything else free at your wedding.
You just can't trust the staff here...
evil:
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Are you Geordie or Glaswegian?
We can supply a boxing ring where your guests can safely smash each other to bits in a semi-safe environment. (Please check your medical insurance cover)
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Ladies
Do you need expert advice on your pre wedding party night? Our resident vodka and collapso specialist can guide you (during the early part of the evening) to some of the finest local bars and clubs.
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I will start you off:
Dear Bride
If you are, koff, a larger lady we recommend that you should appoint bridesmaids who look like heffalumps to make your wedding photos more flattering.
Why have you been looking at wedding advice websites?
Is there something we should be told?
(https://edc2.healthtap.com/ht-staging/user_answer/avatars/916077/large/open-uri20130309-20044-acyf2p.jpeg?1386645450)
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evil:
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happy001 5 all the above
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I will start you off:
Dear Bride
If you are, koff, a larger lady we recommend that you should appoint bridesmaids who look like heffalumps to make your wedding photos more flattering.
Why have you been looking at wedding advice websites?
Is there something we should be told?
(https://edc2.healthtap.com/ht-staging/user_answer/avatars/916077/large/open-uri20130309-20044-acyf2p.jpeg?1386645450)
A babby! cloud9:
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Dear Bride
If your prospective husband owns a quadcopter beware the dodgy things he will do with your vacuum cleaner and gearbox oil
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Dear Bride
If your prospective husband owns a quadcopter beware the dodgy things he will do with your vacuum cleaner and gearbox oil
evil:
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Dear Indian Bride
Never accept turnip futures as a dowry
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Dear porker Bride
Best send picture of yourself at Ironing Board
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Dear porker Bride
Best send picture of yourself at Ironing Board. Preferably being ironed
whistle:
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Coming from Yorkshire and suspicious of foreign food? Fear not! Fish and chips and pizza are traditional fare in Cyprus and will make your guests feel at home.
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Coming from Yorkshire and suspicious of foreign food? Fear not! Fish and chips and pizza are traditional fare in Cyprus and will make your guests feel at home.
lol: lol: lol:
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Dear Brides
Due to popular demand we can now arrange to have your boobs tattooed during the service but if you can delay it til the reception the horrible music will drown out the noise
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I have been deleting....... eveilgrin:
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I have been deleting....... eveilgrin:
eveilgrin:
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Having a break down!🙄 just went to the travel agents and asked if I could book my wedding for 2019 and they said yeah but next year? So that's only giving people a year to save??
rubschin:
noooo:
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On the page .........
"How do I join the group"...........
noooo: noooo:
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facepalm:
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What site is this? Just in case one wanted to join, like?? whistle: whistle: whistle:
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What site is this? Just in case one wanted to join, like?? whistle: whistle: whistle:
Blokes aren't allowed on otherwise i would have added you already ........ eveilgrin:
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Nicola is my middle name whistle:
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Join, join, JOIN! eveilgrin:
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Nicola is my middle name whistle:
We already knew that April
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Nicola is my middle name whistle:
I have mentioned that before.... whistle:
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Dear unfortunate bride,
If you have found you have married a man who has developed a fetish for wearing a bucket on his head..........................sorry, you are beyond help. noooo:
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Dear unfortunate bride,
If you have found you have married a man who has developed a fetish for wearing a bucket on his head..........................sorry, you are beyond help. noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
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Does anyone know how much confetti I'll need to fill 30 bags please...
noooo:
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Does anyone know how much confetti I'll need to fill 30 bags please...
noooo:
happy001
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Nick would go mad ......even 2nd bride asks what vowels do we have to say for the ceremony ......... ;D ;D
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Nick would go mad ......even 2nd bride asks what vowels do we have to say for the ceremony ......... ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol:
And make sure they get their syllabubs right
Oh and it takes 30 bags worth
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Nick would go mad ......even 2nd bride asks what vowels do we have to say for the ceremony ......... ;D ;D
And they'll be breeding within months... noooo:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
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eeek:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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eeek: eeek:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Can't be Nick then... whistle:
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:thumbsup:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Can't be Nick then... whistle:
Unless Miss I has been peeking in on here and is trying to find where the smuggers live.... rubschin:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Can't be Nick then... whistle:
Unless Miss I has been peeking in on here and is trying to find where the smuggers live.... rubschin:
One particular very handsome smugger prolly.... eyes:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Can't be Nick then... whistle:
Unless Miss I has been peeking in on here and is trying to find where the smuggers live.... rubschin:
One particular very handsome smugger prolly.... eyes:
rubschin:
Poor Apey couldn't cope noooo:
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::)
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Can't be Nick then... whistle:
Unless Miss I has been peeking in on here and is trying to find where the smuggers live.... rubschin:
One particular very handsome smugger prolly.... eyes:
rubschin:
Poor Apey couldn't cope noooo:
evil:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Can't be Nick then... whistle:
Unless Miss I has been peeking in on here and is trying to find where the smuggers live.... rubschin:
One particular very handsome smugger prolly.... eyes:
rubschin:
Poor Apey couldn't cope noooo:
cloud9:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Miss T is doing the wedding ............. eeek: eeek: eeek:
Well Nick did say he was getting his suit back from the cleaners .......... rubschin:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Miss T is doing the wedding ............. eeek: eeek: eeek:
Well Nick did say he was getting his suit back from the cleaners .......... rubschin:
(https://s24.postimg.org/ofxwcufhd/download.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ofxwcufhd/)
whistle:
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cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Miss T is doing the wedding ............. eeek: eeek: eeek:
Well Nick did say he was getting his suit back from the cleaners .......... rubschin:
(https://s24.postimg.org/ofxwcufhd/download.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ofxwcufhd/)
whistle:
I'll find an old sierra as a wedding car ........ Thumbs:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Miss T is doing the wedding ............. eeek: eeek: eeek:
Well Nick did say he was getting his suit back from the cleaners .......... rubschin:
(https://s24.postimg.org/ofxwcufhd/download.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ofxwcufhd/)
whistle:
I'll find an old sierra as a wedding car ........ Thumbs:
Perfick! Thumbs:
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cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
If I were 30 years younger I am sure we'd be doing it sad24:
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cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
If I were 30 years younger I am sure we'd be doing it sad24:
Would she be born then.......... rubschin:
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Stop trying to confuse me.
And no redface:
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cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
If I were 30 years younger I am sure we'd be doing it sad24:
Would she be born then.......... rubschin:
happy001
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evil:
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Miss T is doing the wedding ............. eeek: eeek: eeek:
Well Nick did say he was getting his suit back from the cleaners .......... rubschin:
(https://s24.postimg.org/ofxwcufhd/download.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ofxwcufhd/)
whistle:
I'll find an old sierra as a wedding car ........ Thumbs:
Perfick! Thumbs:
TMR's outfit sorted ........ Thumbs:
(https://s15.postimg.org/9cfq4f7p3/TMR.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/9cfq4f7p3/)
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An Italian has just joined ............ eeek: eeek:
Is someone keeping a secret .......... rubschin:
OOOOHHHH it gets better they picked Cyprus because they have friends living there ............... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Miss T is doing the wedding ............. eeek: eeek: eeek:
Well Nick did say he was getting his suit back from the cleaners .......... rubschin:
(https://s24.postimg.org/ofxwcufhd/download.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/ofxwcufhd/)
whistle:
I'll find an old sierra as a wedding car ........ Thumbs:
Perfick! Thumbs:
TMR's outfit sorted ........ Thumbs:
(https://s15.postimg.org/9cfq4f7p3/TMR.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/9cfq4f7p3/)
lol: lol: lol:
And his chair...
(https://s28.postimg.org/fshnzz9mh/SAM_0915.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/fshnzz9mh/)
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cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
If I were 30 years younger I am sure we'd be doing it sad24:
Nah, just go for it. You're as old as the woman you feel and you you lucky bugger are well placed on that