The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on September 06, 2007, 09:36:49 AM
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Spurred on by a remark in another thread I got to thinking.
John and the dog have just walked past.John is the Village Idiot.
Charlie drove past at the same time. He ran off with a lesbian last year.
Neil has also shacked up with a lesbian
4 more lesbians live along the road
They are next to the pagan morris dancers
Landlady of one pub is very aggressive
Guy who does the quiz night there is in the middle ofa sex change (M to F) and has taken to wearing dresses to get ready for his post-op life
The Unconvincing Transvestite rides around on his bike
Rusty the Fudge, er, makes fudge
Jimmy drives about in his VOlvo, which he shouldn't do at 94, but what can you say
HH appears to have had a lobotomy
Enormi-woman has taken to running, which is painful to watch
Thrifty Harry collects tat and makes aliving from floggin it. His garden looks like Steptoe's yard
Albert collects dead trees (Growler will have seen them on the top corner). He says they are for his "retirement"
Neville the 30 year old paperboy is autistic and has to deliver the newspapers in a very precise, and utterly inefficient, sequence otherwise he goes nuts. It takes him from 6 a.m. until about noon.
And so on
I sometimes think I am the only normal person here
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You fit perfectly Nick ~ believe me
happy001 happy001 happy001
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Ahhh it now all makes sense!
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I sometimes think I am the only normal person here
happy001 happy001 happy001
Pure genius!!
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Something in the water perhaps? whistle:
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There is something wrong with the water at present. Dark Brown Angry9:
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There is something wrong with the water at present. Dark Brown Angry9:
That'll be the village problem then...
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There is something wrong with the water at present. Dark Brown Angry9:
No worries.
Morgan Est. (bring chaos and bedlum to a road near you shortly) probably connecting the sewer pipe up to the mains water.
Happens all the time. ::)
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Last time it happened I called the Water people. "Yes your water is brown. We have no idea why but it is perfectly safe to drink."
I invited them round to have some! cussing:
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Oh yes. I went out for a pint last night. Ralph (aged about 70) informed me loudly (I think he had had a few) that his wife had told him 30 years ago that she "wasn't interested in this sex business" and that he should go elsewhere if he need to do "that sort of thing".
Too much information really cry:
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Oh yes. I went out for a pint last night. Ralph (aged about 70) informed me loudly (I think he had had a few) that his wife had told him 30 years ago that she "wasn't interested in this sex business" and that he should go elsewhere if he need to do "that sort of thing".
Too much information really cry:
How very civilised ~ they don't build wives like that any more ~ unfortunately. noooo:
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I had forgotten about this numpty. He write little local walking guides. Today he is leading a group on a walk around the village. They are normally attired. He is wearing:
Big Khaki shorts
Thick socks
Huge boots
A bobble hat
He is wearing a backpack, carrying a special sort of stick, has a map slung round his neck and a portable GPS navigation device. Christ, is he expecting to get lost and starve to death? It's a walk round the village FFS. What do you need GPS Navigation for?
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Why do people who own and carry a camera need a mobile phone that takes pictures? ::)
It's all to do with the fact that they cannot control their urge to own the gadgets. In the case of your local guide/numpty it is his equivalent of a Tat Mountain.
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Spurred on by a remark in another thread I got to thinking.
John and the dog have just walked past.John is the Village Idiot.
Charlie drove past at the same time. He ran off with a lesbian last year.
Neil has also shacked up with a lesbian
4 more lesbians live along the road
They are next to the pagan morris dancers
Landlady of one pub is very aggressive
Guy who does the quiz night there is in the middle ofa sex change (M to F) and has taken to wearing dresses to get ready for his post-op life
The Unconvincing Transvestite rides around on his bike
Rusty the Fudge, er, makes fudge
Jimmy drives about in his VOlvo, which he shouldn't do at 94, but what can you say
HH appears to have had a lobotomy
Enormi-woman has taken to running, which is painful to watch
Thrifty Harry collects tat and makes aliving from floggin it. His garden looks like Steptoe's yard
Albert collects dead trees (Growler will have seen them on the top corner). He says they are for his "retirement"
Neville the 30 year old paperboy is autistic and has to deliver the newspapers in a very precise, and utterly inefficient, sequence otherwise he goes nuts. It takes him from 6 a.m. until about noon.
And so on
I sometimes think I am the only normal person here
I'll bet good money that that's what they all say. ::)
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rubschin:
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How do you think they describe you?
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ASk them! evil:
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cool14:
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Growler ~ You're the nearest ~ giz the low-down. What do the locals make of our Nick?
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Growler ~ You're the nearest ~ giz the low-down. What do the locals make of our Nick?
Don't know many that know 'our Nick' tbh., but the one I have spoken to reckon....much as we all do...that he IS barkin' mad. happy088
Anyway,talkin' of walkin', I'm off up the BIG one tomorrow:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi27.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fc172%2Fb0nz0%2Fme_huge.jpg&hash=02a5dbba6b2528f112bf91f1530d76fc7474257c)
Snowdon, via the Pyg track for those that know it. ;)
Mrs GROWLER is NOT happy with me. ::)
Nowt much new there then I suppose. ::)
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Growler ~ You're the nearest ~ giz the low-down. What do the locals make of our Nick?
Don't know many that know 'our Nick' tbh., but the one I have spoken to reckon....much as we all do...that he IS barkin' mad. happy088
Anyway,talkin' of walkin', I'm off up the BIG one tomorrow:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi27.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fc172%2Fb0nz0%2Fme_huge.jpg&hash=02a5dbba6b2528f112bf91f1530d76fc7474257c)
Snowdon, via the Pyg track for those that know it. ;)
Mrs GROWLER is NOT happy with me. ::)
Nowt much new there then I suppose. ::)
Er ..... Why?
It's a building site up there.
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Cus I want to, and it's away from the all day nuggetry that I usually have to endure. ;)
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Growler ~ You're the nearest ~ giz the low-down. What do the locals make of our Nick?
eeek: scared2: shocked003 scared: Would be a safe bet methinks
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Cus I want to, and it's away from the all day nuggetry that I usually have to endure. ;)
Fair nuff ~ but it is a building site at the top. Very Nasty sick2:
http://www.bordercountiesadvertizer.co.uk/latest-features?articleid=3072568
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cry:
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Decided not to go. Bloody foggy up there with 'drizzle' forecast. Up there 'drizzle' means lashin' it down. ::)
Looks like another day of nuggetry then. evil:
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I popped out for a pint last night and walked in on the Transsexual pub quiz. Apparently he has had the
amputation op now, but the hormones have not kicked in yet so he still looks like a bloke in a dress.
I got chatting about the situation to a mate of mine who said that the other unconvincing transvestite (Desperate Dan in a wig on a bike) is on video on You Tube. Bit fuzzy, so first check this out. When you have familiarised yourself with the picture I will post the vid link.
[attachment deleted by admin]
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Apparently he has had the amputation op now, but the hormones have not kicked in yet so he still looks like a bloke in a dress.
WHO ffs? confused:
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The guy who runs the quiz night in the SHip. See OP
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The guy who runs the quiz night in the SHip. See OP
Oh, sorry. ::)You talk like we all know him personally, or are you simply mutterin' to yerself like...again?
Who's 'OP' btw? confused:
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He has mentioned it before.
I am now in shock that Nick's postman delivers by horse. eeek:
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ORIGINAL POST. That is the first post on the thread.
I am surrounded by idiots.
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He has mentioned it before.
I am now in shock that Nick's postman delivers by horse. eeek:
Yeah, but he's not a tranny.
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The guy who runs the quiz night in the SHip. See OP
Oh, sorry. ::)You talk like we all know him personally, or are you simply mutterin' to yerself like...again?
Who's 'OP' btw? confused:
happy001 doh: He was referring you to his Opening Post.....
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He has mentioned it before.
I am now in shock that Nick's postman delivers by horse. eeek:
Well I'm VERY sorry. I really must try keepin' up ey? ::)
Some of us actually have to go OUT to werk you know, and as a consequence miss some of the more important shite posts in here. ::)
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So do you want this vid or not?
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He has mentioned it before.
I am now in shock that Nick's postman delivers by horse. eeek:
Well I'm VERY sorry. I really must try keepin' up ey? ::)
Some of us actually have to go OUT to werk you know, and as a consequence miss some of the more important shite posts in here. ::)
Someone got their blue tongue caught in their pants this morning didn't they. eeek:
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ORIGINAL POST. That is the first post on the thread.
I am surrounded by idiots.
Well thank you for the explanation. ::)
THIS idiot now knows what tf OP stands for for future reference. ::)
Sorry, crystal bollok not werkin' this mornin.' ::)
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Well here it is, for what it's worth. It's defintely him. He carries a can of Special Brew in his handbag.
Freeze it at 6 seconds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqJGiaiK3jA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqJGiaiK3jA)
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So do you want this vid or not?
WHAT/WHICH bloody vid?
You ARE taking the piss this morning. evil:
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It's like there's a 30 minute time lag between Growler and the rest of the World. I think that happened in a film, or was it Kingsley Amis's The Green Man?
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Well here it is, for what it's worth. It's defintely him. He carries a can of Special Brew in his handbag.
Freeze it at 6 seconds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqJGiaiK3jA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqJGiaiK3jA)
and I thought Barrow was a shithole.. eeek:
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We beat you hands down on the transvestite front. (Myself excepted)
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I think I posted this elsewhere, but our tranny can be found at 2:48.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nmUl_lgTAU
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It's like there's a 30 minute time lag between Growler and the rest of the World. I think that happened in a film, or was it Kingsley Amis's The Green Man?
Oh FFS. I'm goin' out. evil: