The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on October 30, 2017, 12:33:57 PM
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In my excitement about bonkers wumman I forgot to relate Nod's recent adventure.
He originates from N. Wales and, twice a year, he meets a cousin and spouse in Shrewsbury.
Saturday was one of these occasions and all three were booked into a hotel in the town.
Nod set off by train at about 1.30 and necked some wine from the train trolley.
Delayed at New Street, he decided that a pint or two were in order.
On the train to Shrewsbury he had another large collapso.
Arriving in Shrewsbury he set off to the hotel but got lost and stopped off in a pub for directions and a much needed pint ::)
At the hotel where all three were booked in the receptionist/manager said, "YOu are drunk. I will not let you stay here. Go away."
Nod knew of another hotel "round the corner" but got lost and ended up in another pub. He then found the station, boarded a train, got lost at New Street and eventually arrived home at midnight.
When his cousins arrived at the hotel and enquired if Mr Nod had checked in the manager informed them he was barred. noooo:
Nod asked me what I thought he should say to his cousins who paid to spend a night in a hotel for no reason at all facepalm:
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Nod asked me what I thought he should say to his cousins who paid to spend a night in a hotel for no reason at all facepalm:
"It's Nick's fault" Instant get out of jail free card. :thumbsup:
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Nod asked me what I thought he should say to his cousins who paid to spend a night in a hotel for no reason at all facepalm:
"It's Nick's fault" Instant get out of jail free card. :thumbsup:
drumroll:
happy001
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Nod asked me what I thought he should say to his cousins who paid to spend a night in a hotel for no reason at all facepalm:
"It's Nick's fault" Instant get out of jail free card. :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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I wasn't there cussing: cussing:
I was at the wrong lock redface:
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I wasn't there cussing: cussing:
I was at the wrong lock redface:
With your reputation for cock ups and calamities you just need to be in the same country... whistle:
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I wasn't there cussing: cussing:
I was at the wrong lock redface:
another success for Alibis-R-Us
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lol:
Nick - it's your mate that needs to be kept on the straight and narrow lol:
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You can see why his Mum calls me every night when we go away to make sure he is OK noooo:
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http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/30/mother-98-moves-into-care-home-to-look-after-son-80-7037427/ (http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/30/mother-98-moves-into-care-home-to-look-after-son-80-7037427/)
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lol:
Nick - it's your mate that needs to be kept on the straight and narrow lol:
drumroll:
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At one tiime in his career, Nod was put in charge of new student teachers.
One, a Miss Bosomworth !, was having some problems and Nod agreed to sit in and observe her lesson. It was History, and was to be about Tudor pastimes (to 14 year old boys). He had agreed that if he felt things were not going well he would get up and open a window and this would be her cue to change tack.
When she arrived at the topic of cock-fighting facepalm:things began to go badly awry and so Nod opened the window.
Unfortunately, this action disturbed the residents of a nearby wasps' nest facepalm: facepalm:
A large area of the school had to be evacuated after a panic stricken Miss Bosomworth set off the fire alarm.....
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At one tiime in his career, Nod was put in charge of new student teachers.
One, a Miss Bosomworth !, was having some problems and Nod agreed to sit in and observe her lesson. It was History, and was to be about Tudor pastimes (to 14 year old boys). He had agreed that if he felt things were not going well he would get up and open a window and this would be her cue to change tack.
When she arrived at the topic of cock-fighting facepalm:things began to go badly awry and so Nod opened the window.
Unfortunately, this action disturbed the residents of a nearby wasps' nest facepalm: facepalm:
A large area of the school had to be evacuated after a panic stricken Miss Bosomworth set off the fire alarm.....
lol: lol: lol:
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At one tiime in his career, Nod was put in charge of new student teachers.
One, a Miss Bosomworth !, was having some problems and Nod agreed to sit in and observe her lesson. It was History, and was to be about Tudor pastimes (to 14 year old boys). He had agreed that if he felt things were not going well he would get up and open a window and this would be her cue to change tack.
When she arrived at the topic of cock-fighting facepalm:things began to go badly awry and so Nod opened the window.
Unfortunately, this action disturbed the residents of a nearby wasps' nest facepalm: facepalm:
A large area of the school had to be evacuated after a panic stricken Miss Bosomworth set off the fire alarm.....
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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At one tiime in his career, Nod was put in charge of new student teachers.
One, a Miss Bosomworth !, was having some problems and Nod agreed to sit in and observe her lesson. It was History, and was to be about Tudor pastimes (to 14 year old boys). He had agreed that if he felt things were not going well he would get up and open a window and this would be her cue to change tack.
When she arrived at the topic of cock-fighting facepalm:things began to go badly awry and so Nod opened the window.
Unfortunately, this action disturbed the residents of a nearby wasps' nest facepalm: facepalm:
A large area of the school had to be evacuated after a panic stricken Miss Bosomworth set off the fire alarm.....
I think it's safe to say that Nick and Nod are made for each other.. lol:
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cussing:
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At one tiime in his career, Nod was put in charge of new student teachers.
One, a Miss Bosomworth !, was having some problems and Nod agreed to sit in and observe her lesson. It was History, and was to be about Tudor pastimes (to 14 year old boys). He had agreed that if he felt things were not going well he would get up and open a window and this would be her cue to change tack.
When she arrived at the topic of cock-fighting facepalm:things began to go badly awry and so Nod opened the window.
Unfortunately, this action disturbed the residents of a nearby wasps' nest facepalm: facepalm:
A large area of the school had to be evacuated after a panic stricken Miss Bosomworth set off the fire alarm.....
I think it's safe to say that Nick and Nod are mad for each other.. lol:
whistle:
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Both come and visit you in Cyprus, you say...... rubschin:
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Both come and visit you in Cyprus, you say...... rubschin:
eeek:
We only have the one spare room like... whistle:
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sick2:
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At one tiime in his career, Nod was put in charge of new student teachers.
One, a Miss Bosomworth !, was having some problems and Nod agreed to sit in and observe her lesson. It was History, and was to be about Tudor pastimes (to 14 year old boys). He had agreed that if he felt things were not going well he would get up and open a window and this would be her cue to change tack.
When she arrived at the topic of cock-fighting facepalm:things began to go badly awry and so Nod opened the window.
Unfortunately, this action disturbed the residents of a nearby wasps' nest facepalm: facepalm:
A large area of the school had to be evacuated after a panic stricken Miss Bosomworth set off the fire alarm.....
You couldn't make it up lol: lol: lol:
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At one tiime in his career, Nod was put in charge of new student teachers.
One, a Miss Bosomworth !, was having some problems and Nod agreed to sit in and observe her lesson. It was History, and was to be about Tudor pastimes (to 14 year old boys). He had agreed that if he felt things were not going well he would get up and open a window and this would be her cue to change tack.
When she arrived at the topic of cock-fighting facepalm:things began to go badly awry and so Nod opened the window.
Unfortunately, this action disturbed the residents of a nearby wasps' nest facepalm: facepalm:
A large area of the school had to be evacuated after a panic stricken Miss Bosomworth set off the fire alarm.....
You couldn't make it up lol: lol: lol:
The child in me nearly destroyed the keyboard at 'Miss Bosomworth'. Turns out it's not an uncommon name lol:
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Nod told me the other day that years ago he had borrowed his dad's car for a trip to Wales. On the way home he got a flat tyre. Being Nod, he had no clue how to change the wheel and he just got out of the car and stared at the damage helplessly.
Fortunately, a kindly man stopped and changed the wheel for him. As Nod drove off later, he glanced in the rear view mirror and saw the man waving to him. He gave a cheery wave back and drove on.
When he got home he discovered the man's jacket, wallet, car keys and house keys in the boot of the car.
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Nod told me the other day that years ago he had borrowed his dad's car for a trip to Wales. On the way home he got a flat tyre. Being Nod, he had no clue how to change the wheel and he just got out of the car and stared at the damage helplessly.
Fortunately, a kindly man stopped and changed the wheel for him. As Nod drove off later, he glanced in the rear view mirror and saw the man waving to him. He gave a cheery wave back and drove on.
When he got home he discovered the man's jacket, wallet, car keys and house keys in the boot of the car.
Top Tip ....... Thumbs:
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Nod told me the other day that years ago he had borrowed his dad's car for a trip to Wales. On the way home he got a flat tyre. Being Nod, he had no clue how to change the wheel and he just got out of the car and stared at the damage helplessly.
Fortunately, a kindly man stopped and changed the wheel for him. As Nod drove off later, he glanced in the rear view mirror and saw the man waving to him. He gave a cheery wave back and drove on.
When he got home he discovered the man's jacket, wallet, car keys and house keys in the boot of the car.
Top Tip ....... Thumbs:
facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
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Nod needs a new computer. noooo: Naturally he needs help to choose one, buy one and get it set up. ::)
Guess what mug he asked cry:
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Nod needs a new computer. noooo: Naturally he needs help to choose one, buy one and get it set up. ::)
Guess what mug he asked cry:
Just get him an etch-a-sketch instead
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drumroll:
He would really like that, and that is the truth!!
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Nod needs a new computer. noooo: Naturally he needs help to choose one, buy one and get it set up. ::)
Guess what mug he asked cry:
£50 per hour or part thereof...? whistle:
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He says he will buy me "lunch" :thumbsup: NickSick
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He says he will buy me "lunch" :thumbsup: NickSick
£125 per hour then! eveilgrin:
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He says he will buy me "lunch" :thumbsup: NickSick
£125 per hour then! eveilgrin:
You could get your new watch to show a continually updated bill
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He says he will buy me "lunch" :thumbsup: NickSick
£125 per hour then! eveilgrin:
You could get your new watch to show a continually updated bill
Bill monitoring = £50 per hour or part thereof... whistle:
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He says he will buy me "lunch" :thumbsup: NickSick
£125 per hour then! eveilgrin:
You could get your new watch to show a continually updated bill
Bill monitoring = £50 per hour or part thereof... whistle:
:thumbsup:
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Does Nod have an alibi?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-46094570 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-46094570)
(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/2285/production/_104173880_mediaitem104168048.jpg)
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Does Nod have an alibi?
He does but he's forgotten what it is.
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Does Nod have an alibi?
He does but he's forgotten what it is.
lol: lol: lol:
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::)
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Does Nod have an alibi?
He does but he's forgotten what it is.
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Does Nod have an alibi?
He does but he's forgotten what it is.
I'm guessing he defaults to, "Nick made me do it!". whistle:
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cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Does Nod have an alibi?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-46094570 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-46094570)
(https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/2285/production/_104173880_mediaitem104168048.jpg)
He was having a drink with Nick.........oh.... noooo:
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I anounce to Nod that I am taking a trip oop North to pay a visit to The Boy and also a side trip to Scallypool. Nod says he fancies a visit to N Wales, so we agree on a road trip with an overnight stay.
I find some very nice super cheap student accommodation by the canal in the middle of Chester. En suite rooms and use of kitchen for £30 a night :thumbsup: with car parking.
We check in and are given adjacent rooms. Nod taps on my door:
How do I turn the bathroom light on?
Me: It is automatic, you just open the door.
Nod: Ooh, yes. Thanks.
We are going out
Nod: How do I turn the bathroom light off?
Me: You shut the door.
Nod: Doesn't work
I go round. The bathroom door is shut.
Me: Fine, let's go.
Nod: But the light is still on!
Me: No it's not
Nod: Look! (Opens bathroom door). The light is on!
Me: Have you got a fucking fridge Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
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I anounce to Nod that I am taking a trip oop North to pay a visit to The Boy and also a side trip to Scallypool. Nod says he fancies a visit to N Wales, so we agree on a road trip with an overnight stay.
I find some very nice super cheap student accommodation by the canal in the middle of Chester. En suite rooms and use of kitchen for £30 a night :thumbsup: with car parking.
We check in and are given adjacent rooms. Nod taps on my door:
How do I turn the bathroom light on?
Me: It is automatic, you just open the door.
Nod: Ooh, yes. Thanks.
We are going out
Nod: How do I turn the bathroom light off?
Me: You shut the door.
Nod: Doesn't work
I go round. The bathroom door is shut.
Me: Fine, let's go.
Nod: But the light is still on!
Me: No it's not
Nod: Look! (Opens bathroom door). The light is on!
Me: Have you got a fucking fridge Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
happy001
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I anounce to Nod that I am taking a trip oop North to pay a visit to The Boy and also a side trip to Scallypool. Nod says he fancies a visit to N Wales, so we agree on a road trip with an overnight stay.
I find some very nice super cheap student accommodation by the canal in the middle of Chester. En suite rooms and use of kitchen for £30 a night :thumbsup: with car parking.
We check in and are given adjacent rooms. Nod taps on my door:
How do I turn the bathroom light on?
Me: It is automatic, you just open the door.
Nod: Ooh, yes. Thanks.
We are going out
Nod: How do I turn the bathroom light off?
Me: You shut the door.
Nod: Doesn't work
I go round. The bathroom door is shut.
Me: Fine, let's go.
Nod: But the light is still on!
Me: No it's not
Nod: Look! (Opens bathroom door). The light is on!
Me: Have you got a fucking fridge Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
happy001
happy001 happy001
Care in the Community fails again
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"To me , to you " lol:
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evil: He is also a nervous passenger eveilgrin:
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"To me , to you " lol:
lol: lol: lol:
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"To me , to you " lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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"To me , to you " lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Nod arranges to go on a trip to Bath with two mates. They have their train tickets and also his. They advise him to get on a specific train and they will board the train at the next station and give him his ticket.
What can possibly go wrong?
Could Nod get on the wrong train, the one that doesn't stop at the station where they are waiting? Could he have to travel all the way to Birmingham alone and with no ticket pleading with the ticket collector and then get trapped on the platform as he has no ticket to get through the exit barrier and the train that his mates are on is on a completely different platform which he can't get access to?
Why would he call me in tears?
facepalm:
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Nod arranges to go on a trip to Bath with two mates. They have their train tickets and also his. They advise him to get on a specific train and they will board the train at the next station and give him his ticket.
What can possibly go wrong?
Could Nod get on the wrong train, the one that doesn't stop at the station where they are waiting? Could he have to travel all the way to Birmingham alone and with no ticket pleading with the ticket collector and then get trapped on the platform as he has no ticket to get through the exit barrier and the train that his mates are on is on a completely different platform which he can't get access to?
Why would he call me in tears?
facepalm:
happy001
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Nod arranges to go on a trip to Bath with two mates. They have their train tickets and also his. They advise him to get on a specific train and they will board the train at the next station and give him his ticket.
What can possibly go wrong?
Could Nod get on the wrong train, the one that doesn't stop at the station where they are waiting? Could he have to travel all the way to Birmingham alone and with no ticket pleading with the ticket collector and then get trapped on the platform as he has no ticket to get through the exit barrier and the train that his mates are on is on a completely different platform which he can't get access to?
Why would he call me in tears?
facepalm:
happy001
happy001 happy002
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The biggest surprise with that is that Nod has other friends that are prepared to make travel arrangements with him. Although they may be more sensible as they obviously will not travel on the same form of transportation as him ;D
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The biggest surprise with that is that Nod has other friends that are prepared to make travel arrangements with him. Although they may be more sensible as they obviously will not travel on the same form of transportation as him ;D
lol: lol: lol:
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See you in Seville eveilgrin:
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See you in Savile eveilgrin:
Shocked:
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I am in charge of train tickets in Spain rubschin:
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See you in Seville eveilgrin:
noooo: noooo: noooo:
We are very busy senoritas whistle:
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eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
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Nod cannot do things online so he is at the mercy of people in shops and so on.
Before the Canaries trip last September he went to the Post Office to purchase travel insurance. It seemed expensive. THe young lass at the counter explained that this was because the Canaries were in Africa facepalm:. Nod put her right.
Today he returned to the Post Office to purchase insurance for Seville. Same girl.
£86!! For a week!
Why? "Spain is not in Europe" facepalm:
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Nod cannot do things online so he is at the mercy of people in shops and so on.
Before the Canaries trip last September he went to the Post Office to purchase travel insurance. It seemed expensive. THe young lass at the counter explained that this was because the Canaries were in Africa facepalm:. Nod put her right.
Today he returned to the Post Office to purchase insurance for Seville. Same girl.
£86!! For a week!
Why? "Spain is not in Europe" facepalm:
I think the cost is less to do with the destination and more to do with the travellers... whistle:
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Nod cannot do things online so he is at the mercy of people in shops and so on.
Before the Canaries trip last September he went to the Post Office to purchase travel insurance. It seemed expensive. THe young lass at the counter explained that this was because the Canaries were in Africa facepalm:. Nod put her right.
Today he returned to the Post Office to purchase insurance for Seville. Same girl.
£86!! For a week!
Why? "Spain is not in Europe" facepalm:
rubschin:
That girl is likely committing a serious crime and endangering her bosses Post office contract by financial mis selling. She needs stopping
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One wonders how many policies she has flogged to people who didn't know better. Nod just walked out.
I am buying him insurance online, like angel1
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Given that the industry is working it's way through each type so that it can keep itself profitable it's only a matter of time before we start seeing adverts about making claims for wrongfully sold holiday insurance... noooo:
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Ker ching :thumbsup:
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Ker ching :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Nod cannot do things online so he is at the mercy of people in shops and so on.
Before the Canaries trip last September he went to the Post Office to purchase travel insurance. It seemed expensive. THe young lass at the counter explained that this was because the Canaries were in Africa facepalm:. Nod put her right.
Today he returned to the Post Office to purchase insurance for Seville. Same girl.
£86!! For a week!
Why? "Spain is not in Europe" facepalm:
Corona virus........ whistle:
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One wonders how many policies she has flogged to people who didn't know better. Nod just walked out.
I am buying him insurance online, like angel1
I'm Looking forward to 2 weeks holiday quarantine when I get back ;D
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Oh, he is fretting about coronavirus noooo:
If you recall, I went to France with Pasties once after Nod pulled out for fear of being beheaded by Jihadis in a Calais supermarket noooo:
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On the subject of travels ...why are travel agents ...now "travel counsellers "...... rubschin:
well apart for Nod...
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Because they have to deal with morons who have a meltdown when they are told sunset can't be moved?
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Because they have to deal with morons who have a meltdown when they are told sunset can't be moved?
rubschin: Thumbs: lol: lol:
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Oh, he is fretting about coronavirus noooo:
If you recall, I went to France with Pasties once after Nod pulled out for fear of being beheaded by Jihadis in a Calais supermarket noooo:
Get him a Darth Vader mask that he must wear at all times in Spain :thumbsup:
GE
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When it comes to Nod's safety why go by halves Miss D... whistle:
For starters one unissued British Army NBC suit. Just let Nod know in advance to drink a lot as they get bloody hot when you are wearing them.
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41dfYq9c65L.jpg)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/British-surplus-UNISSUED-chemical-biological/dp/B074KFRJQC/ref=sr_1_13?keywords=biological+mask&qid=1582621100&sr=8-13
One anti viral full face mask with changeable filters.
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51y3PE55u9L._SL1003_.jpg)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/KEKE-Respirator-Protection-Biological-Catastrophes/dp/B082HZ7TFY/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=biological+mask&qid=1582
One pair of thick protective gloves.
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51g5kNUDQnL._SL1000_.jpg)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/ThxToms-Gloves-Resist-Strong-Alkali/dp/B01EAIR384/ref=sr_1_3?crid=16J6IYXM7JU4&keywords=thick+rubber+gloves&qid=1582621267&sprefix=thick+rubber%2Caps%2C182&sr=8-3
One pair of heavy duty rubber boots.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dunlop-A442631-ACIF-KNIE-Unisex-Adults/dp/B00C77F2XE/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=thick+rubber+boots&qid=1582621840&sr=8-4
And finally heavy waterproof duct tape to seal the cuffs, boot tops and waist.
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71TnNkrNw0L._SL1200_.jpg)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ferociously-Strong-Tape-48mm-10-9m/dp/B012APXT96/ref=sr_1_5?crid=16QEFGTKMMYZ&keywords=strong+duct+tape+waterproof&qid=1582621390&sprefix=strong+duct+tape+wa%2Caps%2C174&sr=8-5
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When it comes to Nod's safety why go by halves Miss D... whistle:
For starters one unissued British Army NBC suit. Just let Nod know in advance to drink a lot as they get bloody hot when you are wearing them.
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41dfYq9c65L.jpg)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/British-surplus-UNISSUED-chemical-biological/dp/B074KFRJQC/ref=sr_1_13?keywords=biological+mask&qid=1582621100&sr=8-13
One anti viral full face mask with changeable filters.
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51y3PE55u9L._SL1003_.jpg)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/KEKE-Respirator-Protection-Biological-Catastrophes/dp/B082HZ7TFY/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=biological+mask&qid=1582
One pair of thick protective gloves.
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51g5kNUDQnL._SL1000_.jpg)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/ThxToms-Gloves-Resist-Strong-Alkali/dp/B01EAIR384/ref=sr_1_3?crid=16J6IYXM7JU4&keywords=thick+rubber+gloves&qid=1582621267&sprefix=thick+rubber%2Caps%2C182&sr=8-3
One pair of heavy duty rubber boots.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dunlop-A442631-ACIF-KNIE-Unisex-Adults/dp/B00C77F2XE/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=thick+rubber+boots&qid=1582621840&sr=8-4
And finally heavy waterproof duct tape to seal the cuffs, boot tops and waist.
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71TnNkrNw0L._SL1200_.jpg)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ferociously-Strong-Tape-48mm-10-9m/dp/B012APXT96/ref=sr_1_5?crid=16QEFGTKMMYZ&keywords=strong+duct+tape+waterproof&qid=1582621390&sprefix=strong+duct+tape+wa%2Caps%2C174&sr=8-5
I worry about you... noooo:
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What? Knowing how scared Nod can be I thought having these things would help calm him down. angel1
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Oh, he is fretting about coronavirus noooo:
If you recall, I went to France with Pasties once after Nod pulled out for fear of being beheaded by Jihadis in a Calais supermarket noooo:
You always wonder when you hear those "équipe de déversement à l'allée quinze" messages over the tannoy in Carrrefour
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What? Knowing how scared Nod can be I thought having these things would help calm him down. angel1
I thought ou were saying wear those to avoid catching Nod-itis
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What? Knowing how scared Nod can be I thought having these things would help calm him down. angel1
I thought ou were saying wear those to avoid catching Nod-itis
Unfortunately due to the effects of long term Nick-o-ray exposure Nod-itis has mutated and is now inescapable... scared2:
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Nod is mainly troubled by a marmalade glut and his cleaner's terrifying Staffie terrier at the moment noooo:
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Nod's cleaner is an interesting case. She won millions on the lottery and gave up work, but got bored and does cleaning to "get her out of the house". She arrives with her mops and stuff in a very posh Merc.
She is getting married next year. Inexplicably, she has asked Nod to go with her to help choose a wedding dress! eeek: eeek:
What can possibly go wrong?
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Nod's cleaner is an interesting case. She won millions on the lottery and gave up work, but got bored and does cleaning to "get her out of the house". She arrives with her mops and stuff in a very posh Merc.
She is getting married next year. Inexplicably, she has asked Nod to go with her to help choose a wedding dress! eeek: eeek:
What can possibly go wrong?
eeek: rubschin:
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Nod's cleaner is an interesting case. She won millions on the lottery and gave up work, but got bored and does cleaning to "get her out of the house". She arrives with her mops and stuff in a very posh Merc.
She is getting married next year. Inexplicably, she has asked Nod to go with her to help choose a wedding dress! eeek: eeek:
What can possibly go wrong?
Nod ends up as an bridesmaid... rubschin:
-
The wedding is in Falmouth whistle:
-
The wedding is in Falmouth whistle:
censored:
rubschin:
-
The wedding is in Falmouth whistle:
Shocked:
When? I may be working at a site out of the county... rubschin:
-
I've found someone who should be capable of keeping you and Nod out of trouble next time you go on holiday...
If he can survive all that then he at least has a chance of making it through the trip unscathed... rubschin:
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/luckiest-man-alive-survived-stabbing-21584949
-
I've found someone who should be capable of keeping you and Nod out of trouble next time you go on holiday...
If he can survive all that then he at least has a chance of making it through the trip unscathed... rubschin:
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/luckiest-man-alive-survived-stabbing-21584949
eeek:
-
I've found someone who should be capable of keeping you and Nod out of trouble next time you go on holiday...
If he can survive all that then he at least has a chance of making it through the trip unscathed... rubschin:
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/luckiest-man-alive-survived-stabbing-21584949
eeek:
eeek: eeek:
-
Nod's mother is difficult.
1. Religious loony (Welsh)
2. SUffers from extreme anxiety (multiple meds)
3. Eccentric (but not in a nice way)
4. Hostile and confrontational
5. Racist and xenophobic
She is now at home alone with terminal cancer. She is unaware that it is terminal cancer.
On the advice of her GP Nod contacted Macmillan Nursing and they will be sending someone in every day starting Tuesday :thumbsup:
I asked Nod if his mother was aware of this.
"No, it will be a surprise for her."
What can possibly go wrong?
-
Some strange elderly ginger bloke starts to deliver her lunch? rubschin:
-
Some strange elderly ginger bloke starts to deliver her lunch? rubschin:
lol: lol: lol:
And calling her Fred
-
Nod's mother is difficult.
1. Religious loony (Welsh)
2. SUffers from extreme anxiety (multiple meds)
3. Eccentric (but not in a nice way)
4. Hostile and confrontational
5. Racist and xenophobic
She is now at home alone with terminal cancer. She is unaware that it is terminal cancer.
On the advice of her GP Nod contacted Macmillan Nursing and they will be sending someone in every day starting Tuesday :thumbsup:
I asked Nod if his mother was aware of this.
"No, it will be a surprise for her."
What can possibly go wrong?
facepalm:
tell them to wear stab vests
-
That may be closer to the truth than you think. noooo:
-
Some strange elderly ginger bloke starts to deliver her lunch? rubschin:
lol: lol: lol:
And calling her Fred
lol: lol: lol:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Nod has heard a rumour that his favourite local pub is doing an experimental reopening using its outseide area only. It also has an outside bar. In preparation for this he has ordered 50 facemasks.
I asked him why.
"So I can wear a mask at the pub!" :thumbsup:
So how will you have a drink?
"I may not have thought this through."
facepalm:
-
Nod has heard a rumour that his favourite local pub is doing an experimental reopening using its outseide area only. It also has an outside bar. In preparation for this he has ordered 50 facemasks.
I asked him why.
"So I can wear a mask at the pub!" :thumbsup:
So how will you have a drink?
"I may not have thought this through."
facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod has heard a rumour that his favourite local pub is doing an experimental reopening using its outseide area only. It also has an outside bar. In preparation for this he has ordered 50 facemasks.
I asked him why.
"So I can wear a mask at the pub!" :thumbsup:
So how will you have a drink?
"I may not have thought this through."
facepalm:
Seeing as he is that paranoid, if memory serves from my cadet days the old S10 gasmasks come with a built in drinking straw and you can probably get one on Ebay. After all, it isn't as if the pair of you aren't going to get odd looks anyway... whistle:
-
Nod has heard a rumour that his favourite local pub is doing an experimental reopening using its outseide area only. It also has an outside bar. In preparation for this he has ordered 50 facemasks.
I asked him why.
"So I can wear a mask at the pub!" :thumbsup:
So how will you have a drink?
"I may not have thought this through."
facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod's masks have been delivered. They come with extensive operating instructions. In Chinese. facepalm:
-
Nod's masks have been delivered. They come with extensive operating instructions. In Chinese. facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod's masks have been delivered. They come with extensive operating instructions. In Chinese. facepalm:
Google translate is a wonderful thing, just point the phone at them
and you'll likely see they're not instructions but all the certifications. That's what they were on mine. And how many have I actually worn? Zero
-
Nod's masks have been delivered. They come with extensive operating instructions. In Chinese. facepalm:
Google translate is a wonderful thing, just point the phone at them
and you'll likely see they're not instructions but all the certifications. That's what they were on mine. And how many have I actually worn? Zero
I wore one for the first time today... redface:
Walked into the Chemist and no other fucker had one on! cussing:
-
Nod's masks have been delivered. They come with extensive operating instructions. In Chinese. facepalm:
Google translate is a wonderful thing, just point the phone at them
and you'll likely see they're not instructions but all the certifications. That's what they were on mine. And how many have I actually worn? Zero
You suggest Nod uses technology!!!
-
Nod's masks have been delivered. They come with extensive operating instructions. In Chinese. facepalm:
Google translate is a wonderful thing, just point the phone at them
and you'll likely see they're not instructions but all the certifications. That's what they were on mine. And how many have I actually worn? Zero
You suggest Nod uses technology!!!
Put a mask on phone ...they are from China ...... scared2:
-
Nod's masks have been delivered. They come with extensive operating instructions. In Chinese. facepalm:
Google translate is a wonderful thing, just point the phone at them
and you'll likely see they're not instructions but all the certifications. That's what they were on mine. And how many have I actually worn? Zero
You suggest Nod uses technology!!!
Ah yes, every plan has it flaws
Just tell him it says they contain Mono Sodium Glutomate, Toads Eyes and Bird's Nest Soup powder
-
Nod phones. There is a torrential rainstorm.
He has locked himself out of his house. facepalm:
-
Nod phones. There is a torrential rainstorm.
He has locked himself out of his house. facepalm:
he's so wet isn't he
-
Nod phones. There is a torrential rainstorm.
He has locked himself out of his house. facepalm:
You know it would probably save a lot of hassle if the pair of you just moved in together. What's the worst that could happen...? whistle:
-
eeek: sick2:
-
You could make money selling your adventures for a TV show, The Very Odd Couple Thumbs:
-
rubschin:
-
rubschin:
The could call it the WTF Factor... whistle:
-
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
-
Nod phones. There is a torrential rainstorm.
He has locked himself out of his house. facepalm:
he's so wet isn't he
drumroll:
-
Nod is clearing out drawers. He found a large number of old cigarette lighters and chucked them into a carrier bag for later disposal. He hung the carrier bag on the inside of his front door to remind him to take it to the bin.
A little later he added the contents of an ash tray to the bag.
UNFORTUNATELY
An unextinguished fag end started a small blaze which cause the lighters to explode and set his front door on fire facepalm: facepalm:
-
Nod is clearing out drawers. He found a large number of old cigarette lighters and chucked them into a carrier bag for later disposal. He hung the carrier bag on the inside of his front door to remind him to take it to the bin.
A little later he added the contents of an ash tray to the bag.
UNFORTUNATELY
An unextinguished fag end started a small blaze which cause the lighters to explode and set his front door on fire facepalm: facepalm:
noooo: bright spark ..
-
Nod is clearing out drawers. He found a large number of old cigarette lighters and chucked them into a carrier bag for later disposal. He hung the carrier bag on the inside of his front door to remind him to take it to the bin.
A little later he added the contents of an ash tray to the bag.
UNFORTUNATELY
An unextinguished fag end started a small blaze which cause the lighters to explode and set his front door on fire facepalm: facepalm:
noooo: bright spark ..
I shouldn't but happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002
It's like not safe with scissors on turbo mode
-
Nod is clearing out drawers. He found a large number of old cigarette lighters and chucked them into a carrier bag for later disposal. He hung the carrier bag on the inside of his front door to remind him to take it to the bin.
A little later he added the contents of an ash tray to the bag.
UNFORTUNATELY
An unextinguished fag end started a small blaze which cause the lighters to explode and set his front door on fire facepalm: facepalm:
And you still deny that you are perfect for each other... whistle:
-
If you are mildly unhappy with your GP because he is fanatically teetotal and advises you about your alcohol intake DO NOT call said GP when you are pissed, tell him you are a retired journalist and threaten to trash him in the local press and also take him to the GMC. Also, do not tell him you were at school with Harold Shipman (which you were eeek: ) and compare your GP to him.
Don't be a twat. Don't be like Nod facepalm:
-
If you are mildly unhappy with your GP because he is fanatically teetotal and advises you about your alcohol intake DO NOT call said GP when you are pissed, tell him you are a retired journalist and threaten to trash him in the local press and also take him to the GMC. Also, do not tell him you were at school with Harold Shipman (which you were eeek: ) and compare your GP to him.
Don't be a twat. Don't be like Nod facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
-
If you are mildly unhappy with your GP because he is fanatically teetotal and advises you about your alcohol intake DO NOT call said GP when you are pissed, tell him you are a retired journalist and threaten to trash him in the local press and also take him to the GMC. Also, do not tell him you were at school with Harold Shipman (which you were eeek: ) and compare your GP to him.
Don't be a twat. Don't be like Nod facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
If you are mildly unhappy with your GP because he is fanatically teetotal and advises you about your alcohol intake DO NOT call said GP when you are pissed, tell him you are a retired journalist and threaten to trash him in the local press and also take him to the GMC. Also, do not tell him you were at school with Harold Shipman (which you were eeek: ) and compare your GP to him.
Don't be a twat. Don't be like Nod facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
You could always make him feel a little better by telling him about some of your drunken misadventures.. whistle:
-
Nod goes to the hospital
A mattress spring erupted from his bed at around 1 this morning and went into his bum. After he managed to extricate himself from this springy pest he dialled 999.
Paramedics took him to the hospital where he had 9 stitches in his backside. Now he is grumbling it is painful to sit down noooo:
He has also been out to purchase a new mattress.
-
Nod goes to the hospital
A mattress spring erupted from his bed at around 1 this morning and went into his bum. After he managed to extricate himself from this springy pest he dialled 999.
Paramedics took him to the hospital where he had 9 stitches in his backside. Now he is grumbling it is painful to sit down noooo:
He has also been out to purchase a new mattress.
he is the all new Zebbedee
(https://i.makeagif.com/media/4-21-2017/0IYhJ7.gif)
-
Nod goes to the hospital
A mattress spring erupted from his bed at around 1 this morning and went into his bum. After he managed to extricate himself from this springy pest he dialled 999.
Paramedics took him to the hospital where he had 9 stitches in his backside. Now he is grumbling it is painful to sit down noooo:
He has also been out to purchase a new mattress.
he is the all new Zebbedee
(https://i.makeagif.com/media/4-21-2017/0IYhJ7.gif)
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod goes to the hospital
A mattress spring erupted from his bed at around 1 this morning and went into his bum. After he managed to extricate himself from this springy pest he dialled 999.
Paramedics took him to the hospital where he had 9 stitches in his backside. Now he is grumbling it is painful to sit down noooo:
He has also been out to purchase a new mattress.
he is the all new Zebbedee
(https://i.makeagif.com/media/4-21-2017/0IYhJ7.gif)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Would that make Nick Florence (Nightingoon)?
-
Nod goes to the hospital
A mattress spring erupted from his bed at around 1 this morning and went into his bum. After he managed to extricate himself from this springy pest he dialled 999.
Paramedics took him to the hospital where he had 9 stitches in his backside. Now he is grumbling it is painful to sit down noooo:
He has also been out to purchase a new mattress.
he is the all new Zebbedee
(https://i.makeagif.com/media/4-21-2017/0IYhJ7.gif)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Would that make Nick Florence (Nightingoon)?
Mr Rusty surely, here he is turning the lock handle
(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/themagicroundabout/images/e/e5/MrRustyandMusicBox.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20110926083936)
-
::)
My locks are hydraulic, like
-
::)
My locks are hydraulic, like
Maybe Mr Rusty has gone all modernised too. He probably has an iRoundabout now
-
Nod goes to the hospital
A mattress spring erupted from his bed at around 1 this morning and went into his bum. After he managed to extricate himself from this springy pest he dialled 999.
Paramedics took him to the hospital where he had 9 stitches in his backside. Now he is grumbling it is painful to sit down noooo:
He has also been out to purchase a new mattress.
he is the all new Zebbedee
(https://i.makeagif.com/media/4-21-2017/0IYhJ7.gif)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod goes to the hospital
A mattress spring erupted from his bed at around 1 this morning and went into his bum. After he managed to extricate himself from this springy pest he dialled 999.
Paramedics took him to the hospital where he had 9 stitches in his backside. Now he is grumbling it is painful to sit down noooo:
He has also been out to purchase a new mattress.
he is the all new Zebbedee
(https://i.makeagif.com/media/4-21-2017/0IYhJ7.gif)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Would that make Nick Florence (Nightingoon)?
Mr Rusty surely, here he is turning the lock handle
(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/themagicroundabout/images/e/e5/MrRustyandMusicBox.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20110926083936)
happy001
-
evil:
-
Nod goes to the hospital
A mattress spring erupted from his bed at around 1 this morning and went into his bum. After he managed to extricate himself from this springy pest he dialled 999.
Paramedics took him to the hospital where he had 9 stitches in his backside. Now he is grumbling it is painful to sit down noooo:
He has also been out to purchase a new mattress.
he is the all new Zebbedee
(https://i.makeagif.com/media/4-21-2017/0IYhJ7.gif)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Would that make Nick Florence (Nightingoon)?
Mr Rusty surely, here he is turning the lock handle
(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/themagicroundabout/images/e/e5/MrRustyandMusicBox.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20110926083936)
happy001
I'd already made one ginger joke today so thought I'd leave Mr Rusty for someone else. lol:
-
So Miss I is obviously Florence, who else do we have to identify?
-
So Miss I is obviously Florence, who else do we have to identify?
Well you could be Brian... rubschin:
Not sure about Dougal and I'm not daft enough to start suggesting who could be Ermintrude whistle:
-
evil:
-
Nod reports that his bum is healing up nicely sick2:
After his bed attacked him, Nod decided it had to go and ordered a new one :thumbsup:
It was delivered today and the old one removed.
The new one is flatpacked with Allan Keys and those teeny instructions.
He called in tears cloud9: noooo:
-
Nod reports that his bum is healing up nicely sick2:
After his bed attacked him, Nod decided it had to go and ordered a new one :thumbsup:
It was delivered today and the old one removed.
The new one is flatpacked with Allan Keys and those teeny instructions.
He called in tears cloud9: noooo:
Tears on his Pillow...... rubschin:
-
Popcorn:
-
I think he is sleeping on the sofa for the foreseeable noooo:
-
Does it not come with a mattress then ? rubschin:
-
Good point, well made :thumbsup:
Maybe he should just throw the bed away rubschin:
-
Futon rubschin:
-
Good point, well made :thumbsup:
Maybe he should just throw the bed away rubschin:
I'm selling a very safe single bed with a Nod catcher built in.... whistle:
(https://i.postimg.cc/F7YFg8yJ/1140393.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/F7YFg8yJ)
-
Lunch with Nod involved a discussion of education disasters.
He was, at one time, Deputy Head of a school and received a call from County Hall. A delegation of educators from the USA was on a fact finding tour of the UK to look at educational best practice and his school had been selected for a visit. Rather short notice. Would tomorrow be OK? Nod said that was fine!
UNFORTUNATELY
He had forgotten that the next day was Red Nose Day. All kids were told to dress up as they wished and wear red noses. All teachers, including the Head, were dressed as clowns.
The Americans were "bemused" facepalm:
-
lol: lol: lol:
-
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod needs to get out more. I have had three days at a lovely lock (Stoke Bardolph on the river Trent) with picnic tables and deckchairs and suchlike. I suggested he visit.
Friday: Not going to make it. Mum is having a wobble
Saturday. New bed is arriving Monday and someone is coming around to smash up and remove the old one
Sunday: I have booked a taxi!!
Unfortunately, he gave the taxi the wrong location and was transported to Stoke on Trent at enormous expense and was then taken home again. doublefacepalm
I think 90 squid noooo:
-
Nod needs to get out more. I have had three days at a lovely lock (Stoke Bardolph on the river Trent) with picnic tables and deckchairs and suchlike. I suggested he visit.
Friday: Not going to make it. Mum is having a wobble
Saturday. New bed is arriving Monday and someone is coming around to smash up and remove the old one
Sunday: I have booked a taxi!!
Unfortunately, he gave the taxi the wrong location and was transported to Stoke on Trent at enormous expense and was then taken home again. doublefacepalm
I think 90 squid noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod needs to get out more. I have had three days at a lovely lock (Stoke Bardolph on the river Trent) with picnic tables and deckchairs and suchlike. I suggested he visit.
Friday: Not going to make it. Mum is having a wobble
Saturday. New bed is arriving Monday and someone is coming around to smash up and remove the old one
Sunday: I have booked a taxi!!
Unfortunately, he gave the taxi the wrong location and was transported to Stoke on Trent at enormous expense and was then taken home again. doublefacepalm
I think 90 squid noooo:
So you had 3 lucky escapes then and the hard pressed taxi industry got subsidised, what's not to like?
-
He is a clown of the first order noooo:
-
Does that make you his booboo?
-
Does that make you his booboo?
lol: lol: lol:
-
He is a clown of the first order noooo:
(https://farm5.static.flickr.com/4148/4967539263_be2ff02e7b.jpg)
eeek:
redface:
-
He is a clown of the first order noooo:
(https://farm5.static.flickr.com/4148/4967539263_be2ff02e7b.jpg)
eeek:
redface:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod's mother is very sick and also increasingly loopy (she currently believes she is 14) noooo:
Macmillan nurse visited Nod this morning and announced they had found her a place in a hospice and that she would be going there TODAY and not ever going home. Nod thinks this is good news.
I asked him if his mother knew of this arrangement. NO.
I suggested that this could get a bit violent and shouty. I have not heard from him since scared2:
-
Very sad though
-
Nod is getting her house valued eveilgrin: redface:
-
Must be bit of relief though for Nod; knowing at least that his mum is in good hands.
-
:thumbsup:
Once the fight was over ::)
-
Nod has been rubbing his hands together about the auctioneer's valuation of his mum's collection of 18th century ceramics and some of her furniture.
He called the auctioneer today to see when the sale could go ahead.
All auction houses shut for the foreseeable future under Tier 3 restrictions noooo:
Nod is enraged
-
Nod has been rubbing his hands together about the auctioneer's valuation of his mum's collection of 18th century ceramics and some of her furniture.
He called the auctioneer today to see when the sale could go ahead.
All auction houses shut for the foreseeable future under Tier 3 restrictions noooo:
Nod is enraged
Sounds like he's more upset about that than her dying
-
Sad, but true
-
It's possible that is just easier for him to deal with at the moment, I've seen it happen before.
-
She was aggressive, bonkers, abusive and a religious fruitcake who made his life misery for years
-
She was aggressive, bonkers, abusive and a religious fruitcake who made his life misery for years
Like Mrs. Nick...? rubschin:
-
rubschin:
-
It's possible that is just easier for him to deal with at the moment, I've seen it happen before.
Yep, well said. Grief is a weird thing and it doesn't always go logically
But then of course
She was aggressive, bonkers, abusive and a religious fruitcake who made his life misery for years
-
Nod reports that his whole flat is ankle deep in water noooo:
-
Nod reports that his whole flat is ankle deep in water noooo:
Well we knew that it was going to be one of you that spectacularly buggered something up today. Mind you it's still early so plenty of time for you to contribute as well Nick.. whistle:
-
Nod reports that his whole flat is ankle deep in water noooo:
Has the paddling pool burst ?
-
Nod reports that his whole flat is ankle deep in water noooo:
As long as he isn't standing on his head...
-
lol: lol: lol:
Has he developed trench foot yet ?
-
Nod reports that his whole flat is ankle deep in water noooo:
As long as he isn't standing on his head...
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod rescued some sort of crystal decanter from his mum's house and brought it home. In the night something fell on it and smashed it.
He is now convinced his mother is haunting him scared2:
-
Nod rescued some sort of crystal decanter from his mum's house and brought it home. In the night something fell on it and smashed it.
He is now convinced his mother is haunting him scared2:
scared2: scared2:
-
Nod rescued some sort of crystal decanter from his mum's house and brought it home. In the night something fell on it and smashed it.
He is now convinced his mother is haunting him scared2:
scared2: scared2:
scared2: scared2: scared2:
-
Get Nod one of these (https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/jrqbuz/airbag_for_elderly/) for Xmas...? rubschin:
-
Get Nod one of these (https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/jrqbuz/airbag_for_elderly/) for Xmas...? rubschin:
lol:
-
Nod's mum: When I am gone all these (gestures to contents of china cabinet) will be yours. THey have been handed down in my family since the 18th century and are worth thousands!
We pack them and take them to the local Fine Art Auctioneers (have appointment)
Auction person examines them closely
Auction person: the charity shops are closed at the moment, so you can wait until they reopen or there is a skip over there
Nod: sad32:
-
Nod's mum: When I am gone all these (gestures to contents of china cabinet) will be yours. THey have been handed down in my family since the 18th century and are worth thousands!
We pack them and take them to the local Fine Art Auctioneers (have appointment)
Auction person examines them closely
Auction person: the charity shops are closed at the moment, so you can wait until they reopen or there is a skip over there
Nod: sad32:
lol: lol: lol:
I remember being punished as a kid by doing the dusting... In Mum and Dad's bedroom there was a big glass plate with two glass candle holders and a glass trinket holder thing. I'm sure it is worthless but I can never get rid of it... noooo:
-
Nod's mum: When I am gone all these (gestures to contents of china cabinet) will be yours. THey have been handed down in my family since the 18th century and are worth thousands!
We pack them and take them to the local Fine Art Auctioneers (have appointment)
Auction person examines them closely
Auction person: the charity shops are closed at the moment, so you can wait until they reopen or there is a skip over there
Nod: sad32:
lol: lol: lol:
I remember being punished as a kid by doing the dusting... In Mum and Dad's bedroom there was a big glass plate with two glass candle holders and a glass trinket holder thing. I'm sure it is worthless but I can never get rid of it... noooo:
;D
It's sad but old people think what cost them an arm and a leg years ago is worth a fortune now. My mother was the same when we cleared her house when she went in a home. Surprisingly good condition Ercol furniture gets good money
If anyone wants some 1920's decorated tea sets (apparently they were given at weddings) I've got several in the loft
-
My mum had several sets of plates and stuff. All were vile.
-
I kept some tiny glasses my mum said were worthless but are quite charming imho and the antique spirit heated kettle her mother used to polish endlessly when we visited her.- looking at it as I type
I also have my Dad's war time RAF uniform, couldn't let that go to recycling. And of course a ton of tools from me dad, his father and some maybe older. Some I've even used
-
Nod's mum's house is definitely "old lady" place (plastic flowers and pics of Jesus everywhere). ON a brighter note the first offer is £20K above the asking price, which seems suspicious rubschin:
-
Nod's mum's house is definitely "old lady" place (plastic flowers and pics of Jesus everywhere). ON a brighter note the first offer is £20K above the asking price, which seems suspicious rubschin:
Could be genuine. We sold both my mum's and Mrs K's uncle's houses for more than the asking prices. Estate agents are sometimes really brilliant
-
I sold my London flat for more than the asking price after a bidding war, but the first offer? rubschin:
-
Could be in a hurry to get in before stamp duty holiday ends so they don't want to mess about :thumbsup:
-
Could be in a hurry to get in before stamp duty holiday ends so they don't want to mess about :thumbsup:
^^^ wot Miss D said ^^^
-
Nod calls. He sounds anguished
Nod: I don't know what I have done to my phone but when people call I cannot hear anything they say
Me: You must have turned the volume down. YOu need to go into SETTINGS and turn it up
Nod: Are you there?
Me: YOU MUST HAVE TURNED THE VOLUME DOWN. GO INTO SETTINGS AND TURN IT UP
Nod: What? Are you there?
facepalm:
I hung up
-
Nod calls. He sounds anguished
Nod: I don't know what I have done to my phone but when people call I cannot hear anything they say
Me: You must have turned the volume down. YOu need to go into SETTINGS and turn it up
Nod: Are you there?
Me: YOU MUST HAVE TURNED THE VOLUME DOWN. GO INTO SETTINGS AND TURN IT UP
Nod: What? Are you there?
facepalm:
I hung up
happy001
-
You sure he has not got it connected to his wireless, bluetooth ear pods ? lol: lol: lol:
-
Unlikely, I discovered the other day that he is not sure how dustbins work noooo:
-
Unlikely, I discovered the other day that he is not sure how dustbins work noooo:
happy001 happy001 happy001
-
Unlikely, I discovered the other day that he is not sure how dustbins work noooo:
happy001 happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
-
Long story, but it's true noooo:
-
Unlikely, I discovered the other day that he is not sure how dustbins work noooo:
happy001 happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
-
I am already preparing my lesson on "How the bathroom taps work" for the Brighton trip noooo:
-
Unlikely, I discovered the other day that he is not sure how dustbins work noooo:
happy001 happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
-
I am already preparing my lesson on "How the bathroom taps work" for the Brighton trip noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
-
The mystery of his phone is solved! He has an ear infection and is deaf in both ears ::)
-
The mystery of his phone is solved! He has an ear infection and is deaf in both ears ::)
happy001
-
The mystery of his phone is solved! He has an ear infection and is deaf in both ears ::)
happy001
happy001 happy001
-
The mystery of his phone is solved! He has an ear infection and is deaf in both ears ::)
happy001
happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001
Deaf in both ears and nothing in between them as well
-
The mystery of his phone is solved! He has an ear infection and is deaf in both ears ::)
happy001
happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001
Deaf in both ears and nothing in between them as well
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
-
Nod calls. He is distressed. His (newish) TV is not werking and he cannot get an engineer to come out. ::)
"I have been pushing buttons on the remote all morning!" facepalm:
I go over and return the TV from Anna Log to digital.
-
Nod calls. He is distressed. His (newish) TV is not werking and he cannot get an engineer to come out. ::)
"I have been pushing buttons on the remote all morning!" facepalm:
I go over and return the TV from Anna Log to digital.
facepalm:
-
When are you going to move in together ? whistle:
-
evil:
-
When are you going to move in together ? whistle:
The Odd Couple, 2020 edition... whistle:
-
Nod and his brother are scattering their mum's ashes tomorrow. I am giving him a lift. Forecast is "windy".
What can possibly go wrong? rubschin:
-
Nod and his brother are scattering their mum's ashes tomorrow. I am giving him a lift. Forecast is "windy".
What can possibly go wrong? rubschin:
wear a mask
-
I am staying about 10 miles away angel1
-
I am staying about 10 miles away angel1
Should be safe enough
Until you get the phone call saying can you come and help as he can't open the urn
-
scared2:
-
Nod: I need your help with a technical problem. I have to enter my meter readings on my phone scared2:
I direct him to click on the link in the e mail, The Meter Readings screen opens up
Nod: Now what do I do?
Me: You tap on the first little box and enter the Gas reading
Nod taps and the numerical keypad pops up
Nod: Now what do I do?
Me: You enter the reading
Nod: Well the first digit is 6 but that box already has a 1 in it
Me: that is not a 1, that is the cursor which is why it is flashing
Nod tentatively taps "6"
Me: Next digit?
Nod: It is 1 but it already says 1 in the boc
Me: that is not a 1, that is the cursor which is why it is flashing
Repeat for all eternity
The Leccy meter reading had 5 digits. My arteries nearly exploded and Nod was whimpering noooo: noooo:
-
You need some emergency collapso
And a change of phone number
-
Nod: I need your help with a technical problem. I have to enter my meter readings on my phone scared2:
I direct him to click on the link in the e mail, The Meter Readings screen opens up
Nod: Now what do I do?
Me: You tap on the first little box and enter the Gas reading
Nod taps and the numerical keypad pops up
Nod: Now what do I do?
Me: You enter the reading
Nod: Well the first digit is 6 but that box already has a 1 in it
Me: that is not a 1, that is the cursor which is why it is flashing
Nod tentatively taps "6"
Me: Next digit?
Nod: It is 1 but it already says 1 in the boc
Me: that is not a 1, that is the cursor which is why it is flashing
Repeat for all eternity
The Leccy meter reading had 5 digits. My arteries nearly exploded and Nod was whimpering noooo: noooo:
happy001 happy001 happy001
-
I am impressed he can access emails from his phone :thumbsup:
-
Guess who set that up! ::)
-
Nod: I need your help with a technical problem. I have to enter my meter readings on my phone scared2:
I direct him to click on the link in the e mail, The Meter Readings screen opens up
Nod: Now what do I do?
Me: You tap on the first little box and enter the Gas reading
Nod taps and the numerical keypad pops up
Nod: Now what do I do?
Me: You enter the reading
Nod: Well the first digit is 6 but that box already has a 1 in it
Me: that is not a 1, that is the cursor which is why it is flashing
Nod tentatively taps "6"
Me: Next digit?
Nod: It is 1 but it already says 1 in the boc
Me: that is not a 1, that is the cursor which is why it is flashing
Repeat for all eternity
The Leccy meter reading had 5 digits. My arteries nearly exploded and Nod was whimpering noooo: noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
-
You need some emergency collapso
And a change of phone number
A magic phone like Growler had you say...? eveilgrin:
-
Guess who set that up! ::)
You are definitely 'the giver ' lol:
-
evil:
-
Guess who set that up! ::)
You are definitely 'the giver ' lol:
happy001
-
Guess who set that up! ::)
You are definitely 'the giver ' lol:
happy001
happy001 happy001
-
evil: evil: cussing:
-
Nod calls to wish me a happy Christmas.
He reports: My nice Hungarian neighbours gave me a Christmas present. I unwrapped it and it is very odd.
Me: What is it?
Nod: It is just a big bread roll, except it has some sort of white dust on it and it seems to contain fruit!!
Me: Does the packaging have the word "Stollen" on it?
Nod: How did you guess??
facepalm:
-
Nod calls to wish me a happy Christmas.
He reports: My nice Hungarian neighbours gave me a Christmas present. I unwrapped it and it is very odd.
Me: What is it?
Nod: It is just a big bread roll, except it has some sort of white dust on it and it seems to contain fruit!!
Me: Does the packaging have the word "Stollen" on it?
Nod: How did you guess??
facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: facepalm:
-
Nod calls to wish me a happy Christmas.
He reports: My nice Hungarian neighbours gave me a Christmas present. I unwrapped it and it is very odd.
Me: What is it?
Nod: It is just a big bread roll, except it has some sort of white dust on it and it seems to contain fruit!!
Me: Does the packaging have the word "Stollen" on it?
Nod: How did you guess??
facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: lol: facepalm: facepalm:
-
Nod calls to wish me a happy Christmas.
He reports: My nice Hungarian neighbours gave me a Christmas present. I unwrapped it and it is very odd.
Me: What is it?
Nod: It is just a big bread roll, except it has some sort of white dust on it and it seems to contain fruit!!
Me: Does the packaging have the word "Stollen" on it?
Nod: How did you guess??
facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: lol: facepalm: facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:
At least he didn't call the police.
-
Nod calls to wish me a happy Christmas.
He reports: My nice Hungarian neighbours gave me a Christmas present. I unwrapped it and it is very odd.
Me: What is it?
Nod: It is just a big bread roll, except it has some sort of white dust on it and it seems to contain fruit!!
Me: Does the packaging have the word "Stollen" on it?
Nod: How did you guess??
facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: lol: facepalm: facepalm:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:
At least he didn't call the police.
;D
-
Send him into overdrive and give him a panettone to complete his collection lol:
-
Send him into overdrive and give him a panettone to complete his collection lol:
eeek:
-
noooo:
He came round to visit. I made lunch.
I have a one bedroom flat. The external front door opens into a hallway that has three further doors: bathroom, bedroom, lounge.
After a while, Nod went for a pee and failed to return. I went to look for him and heard him wailing, "Where have you gone?". He was in my bedroom. I asked him what he was doing. "I got lost."
-
noooo:
He came round to visit. I made lunch.
I have a one bedroom flat. The external front door opens into a hallway that has three further doors: bathroom, bedroom, lounge.
After a while, Nod went for a pee and failed to return. I went to look for him and heard him wailing, "Where have you gone?". He was in my bedroom. I asked him what he was doing. "I got lost."
lol: lol: lol: noooo:
-
noooo:
He came round to visit. I made lunch.
I have a one bedroom flat. The external front door opens into a hallway that has three further doors: bathroom, bedroom, lounge.
After a while, Nod went for a pee and failed to return. I went to look for him and heard him wailing, "Where have you gone?". He was in my bedroom. I asked him what he was doing. "I got lost."
lol: lol: lol: noooo:
noooo: noooo: noooo:
-
Today's confession (while we were inspecting several Neolithic ring ditches :thumbsup:)
On holiday in Ireland many years ago Nod was asked to judge the town beauty contest eeek:
He was told that contestant number 8 had to win as she was the daughter of the butcher who supplied the hotel and restaurant. Guinness was taken and Nod got muddled and picked number 5.
That was when the fight started noooo:
-
Today's confession (while we were inspecting several Neolithic ring ditches :thumbsup:)
On holiday in Ireland many years ago Nod was asked to judge the town beauty contest eeek:
He was told that contestant number 8 had to win as she was the daughter of the butcher who supplied the hotel and restaurant. Guinness was taken and Nod got muddled and picked number 5.
That was when the fight started noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Today's confession (while we were inspecting several Neolithic ring ditches :thumbsup:)
On holiday in Ireland many years ago Nod was asked to judge the town beauty contest eeek:
He was told that contestant number 8 had to win as she was the daughter of the butcher who supplied the hotel and restaurant. Guinness was taken and Nod got muddled and picked number 5.
That was when the fight started noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod calls in a panic. "Help. My Carbon Monoxide monitor is bleeping. I have slept with all the windows open but it won't stop."
Me: When did you last change the batteries>?
Nod: Batteries??
facepalm:
-
Nod calls in a panic. "Help. My Carbon Monoxide monitor is bleeping. I have slept with all the windows open but it won't stop."
Me: When did you last change the batteries>?
Nod: Batteries??
facepalm:
facepalm: facepalm:
-
He actually said, "I don't want to wake up dead." eeek:
-
He actually said, "I don't want to wake up dead." eeek:
lol: lol: lol:
-
He actually said, "I don't want to wake up dead." eeek:
But only a Zomb..... OIC :thumbsup:
-
Nod texted me yesterday to inform me that "your mate Andy Gill's widow is on Radio 4 talking about a book she has written about him. I had no idea about his rock career!". I listened earlier on BBC Sounds.
The person concerned was talking about the Andy Gill from the Gang of Four.
Nod is an idiot.
Oh look, here they are together!
(https://i.postimg.cc/R694Sdxp/andy-gill-with-andy-gill-1.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/R694Sdxp)
-
Nod texted me yesterday to inform me that "your mate Andy Gill's widow is on Radio 4 talking about a book she has written about him. I had no idea about his rock career!". I listened earlier on BBC Sounds.
The person concerned was talking about the Andy Gill from the Gang of Four.
Nod is an idiot.
Oh look, here they are together!
(https://i.postimg.cc/R694Sdxp/andy-gill-with-andy-gill-1.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/R694Sdxp)
lol: lol: lol:
-
I'm starting to wonder if Nod isn't actually a secret genius who is having too much fun pretending to be clueless and driving Nick around the bend... rubschin:
-
Nod had his boiler serviced today :thumbsup: Clearly, the boiler guy failed to press some button )Pilot light or similar) and now he has no hot water or heating noooo:
He alternates between rage and whimpering noooo:
The company is closed for the day and Nod has no clue about buttons or knobs noooo:
-
Nod had his boiler serviced today :thumbsup: Clearly, the boiler guy failed to press some button )Pilot light or similar) and now he has no hot water or heating noooo:
He alternates between rage and whimpering noooo:
The company is closed for the day and Nod has no clue about buttons or knobs noooo:
You have hot water and heating... whistle:
-
NO!!
I texted him to suggest he check the leccy to the boiler is switched on. Oddly enough......
-
NO!!
I texted him to suggest he check the leccy to the boiler is switched on. Oddly enough......
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod calls in a frothing rage. The problem? His GP has bumped him up the list and has asked him to come in for his Covid vaccination at 3.00!!
He does not respond well to unexpected events.
I let him rant and then gave him both barrels and told him to be grateful and not to be such a Grade A TWAT. noooo: noooo:
-
Nod calls in a frothing rage. The problem? His GP has bumped him up the list and has asked him to come in for his Covid vaccination at 3.00!!
He does not respond well to unexpected events.
I let him rant and then gave him both barrels and told him to be grateful and not to be such a Grade A TWAT. noooo: noooo:
:thumbsup:
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
Old Morris Minors are worth a bit IIRC. God knows why. So I expect an unfortunate fire rendering what might be worth four figures into worthless scrap metal and smoke.
-
The guy has 12 of them, scattered around various garages eeek:
-
The guy has 12 of them, scattered around various garages eeek:
That's a lot of lawn mowers ;)
-
evil:
-
The guy has 12 of them, scattered around various garages eeek:
A car-nut friend of BIL does the same with Dodge Chargers. whacky115
We had some in the barn for a short while.
7.7 litre V8 sounds nice though. Thumbs:
-
The guy has 12 of them, scattered around various garages eeek:
A car-nut friend of BIL does the same with Dodge Chargers. whacky115
We had some in the barn for a short while.
7.7 litre V8 sounds nice though. Thumbs:
Dodge Charger cloud9:
Morris Minor point:
-
The guy has 12 of them, scattered around various garages eeek:
That's a lot of lawn mowers ;)
drumroll:
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
My Uncle Fred used to have a Traveller when I was a kid... cloud9:
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
My Uncle Fred used to have a Traveller when I was a kid... cloud9:
Also...
(https://www.functioncars.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Morris-Minor-Convertible-wedding-car-2.jpg)
-
This adventure is now postponed. Something about a "steam cleaner". I have no clue noooo:
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
My Uncle Fred used to have a Traveller when I was a kid... cloud9:
Also...
(https://www.functioncars.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Morris-Minor-Convertible-wedding-car-2.jpg)
Same colour! eeek:
-
My dad's Morris 1000 was "Rose Taupe", apparently sick2:
-
My dad's Morris 1000 was "Rose Taupe", apparently sick2:
People did give them funny names, but that is a bit much.
-
::)
Her name was Daphne ::)
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
My Uncle Fred used to have a Traveller when I was a kid... cloud9:
0 to 60mph in . . . .? Yeah as if it ever got to 60.
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
My Uncle Fred used to have a Traveller when I was a kid... cloud9:
0 to 60mph in . . . .? Yeah as if it ever got to 60.
When he went on holiday he filled it up with 5 Star, "to get up the hills". It might have gone a bit faster then... rubschin:
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
Just don't plug the mower in to any Irish power points and you should be ok... whistle:
I have just had a small accident of an annoying kind. The late lawnmower was transported in my car to the local lawnmower repair shop who declared that they did not fix that sort. I proposed to Mrs Nick that since it is dead I should take it to the dump. She insisted on me proving that it did not work. I know it doesn't work. So I plugged it in to the kitchen poweropoint and switched it on to demonstrate its deadness. The bastard worked! Unfortunately it was still on the back seat of my car! cussing:
-
I had forgotten about that redface: redface: redface:
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
Just don't plug the mower in to any Irish power points and you should be ok... whistle:
I have just had a small accident of an annoying kind. The late lawnmower was transported in my car to the local lawnmower repair shop who declared that they did not fix that sort. I proposed to Mrs Nick that since it is dead I should take it to the dump. She insisted on me proving that it did not work. I know it doesn't work. So I plugged it in to the kitchen poweropoint and switched it on to demonstrate its deadness. The bastard worked! Unfortunately it was still on the back seat of my car! cussing:
happy002
That poor Owld Sierra.... sad24:
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
Just don't plug the mower in to any Irish power points and you should be ok... whistle:
I have just had a small accident of an annoying kind. The late lawnmower was transported in my car to the local lawnmower repair shop who declared that they did not fix that sort. I proposed to Mrs Nick that since it is dead I should take it to the dump. She insisted on me proving that it did not work. I know it doesn't work. So I plugged it in to the kitchen poweropoint and switched it on to demonstrate its deadness. The bastard worked! Unfortunately it was still on the back seat of my car! cussing:
happy002
That poor Owld Sierra.... sad24:
happy002 happy002
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
Just don't plug the mower in to any Irish power points and you should be ok... whistle:
I have just had a small accident of an annoying kind. The late lawnmower was transported in my car to the local lawnmower repair shop who declared that they did not fix that sort. I proposed to Mrs Nick that since it is dead I should take it to the dump. She insisted on me proving that it did not work. I know it doesn't work. So I plugged it in to the kitchen poweropoint and switched it on to demonstrate its deadness. The bastard worked! Unfortunately it was still on the back seat of my car! cussing:
happy002
That poor Owld Sierra.... sad24:
happy002 happy002
;D ;D ;D ;D
-
Moke angel1
-
Moke angel1
cussing:
There are worth a millionteen pounds now ... Banghead
-
whistle:
-
Today, Nod has asked for my help moving a Morris Minor that some friend of his has been storing in Nod's garage for 20 years!! what can possibly go wrong? eeek:
He also wants help retrieving the same friend's electric lawnmower from Nod's mum's garage.
Just don't plug the mower in to any Irish power points and you should be ok... whistle:
I have just had a small accident of an annoying kind. The late lawnmower was transported in my car to the local lawnmower repair shop who declared that they did not fix that sort. I proposed to Mrs Nick that since it is dead I should take it to the dump. She insisted on me proving that it did not work. I know it doesn't work. So I plugged it in to the kitchen poweropoint and switched it on to demonstrate its deadness. The bastard worked! Unfortunately it was still on the back seat of my car! cussing:
happy002
That poor Owld Sierra.... sad24:
happy002 happy002
;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
Judging by the surreal altercation I witnessed earlier about a blocked drain, I think Nod has become unhinged rubschin: noooo:
-
Judging by the surreal altercation I witnessed earlier about a blocked drain, I think Nod has become unhinged rubschin: noooo:
Gone round the bend ....... whistle:
-
Judging by the surreal altercation I witnessed earlier about a blocked drain, I think Nod has become unhinged rubschin: noooo:
Gone round the bend ....... whistle:
The Nick effect at work... whistle:
-
Judging by the surreal altercation I witnessed earlier about a blocked drain, I think Nod has become unhinged rubschin: noooo:
Gone round the bend ....... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Judging by the surreal altercation I witnessed earlier about a blocked drain, I think Nod has become unhinged rubschin: noooo:
Gone round the bend ....... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Judging by the surreal altercation I witnessed earlier about a blocked drain, I think Nod has become unhinged rubschin: noooo:
Gone round the bend ....... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
A random drive today took us past Lowdham Grange, a prison for young offenders.
Nod related that in his younger days he briefly earned some extra dosh teaching them cricket.
At his first lesson he positioned two young thugs as fielders on the boundary. They scaled the fence and absconded facepalm:
-
A random drive today took us past Lowdham Grange, a prison for young offenders.
Nod related that in his younger days he briefly earned some extra dosh teaching them cricket.
At his first lesson he positioned two young thugs as fielders on the boundary. They scaled the fence and absconded facepalm:
Escape to Victory remake ... rubschin:
-
There could be munny in this rubschin: "Carry on Nod" :thumbsup:
-
A random drive today took us past Lowdham Grange, a prison for young offenders.
Nod related that in his younger days he briefly earned some extra dosh teaching them cricket.
At his first lesson he positioned two young thugs as fielders on the boundary. They scaled the fence and absconded facepalm:
happy001
-
There could be munny in this rubschin: "Carry on Nod" :thumbsup:
Enough to pay for the wedding...? whistle:
-
There could be munny in this rubschin: "Carry on Nod" :thumbsup:
Who would you cast as Nod? Michael Crawford/Frank Spencer?
-
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
-
A random drive today took us past Lowdham Grange, a prison for young offenders.
Nod related that in his younger days he briefly earned some extra dosh teaching them cricket.
At his first lesson he positioned two young thugs as fielders on the boundary. They scaled the fence and absconded facepalm:
happy001
happy001 happy001
-
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
And who as his mum? Now that Bette Davis is dead
-
rubschin:
-
You'll have to have casting couch sessions then
-
eyes: scared2:
-
eyes: scared2:
Remember they will have to be dead ringers for the aforesaid Mrs Nod senior
-
I hear Patricia Routledge is keen on an audition with you eyes:
point:
-
Nod's cleaner has tested positive for Covid. Nod's response to this news is to wear rubber gloves at all times noooo:
-
rubschin:
and then do the cleaning himself :thumbsup:
-
Nod's cleaner has tested positive for Covid. Nod's response to this news is to wear rubber gloves at all times noooo:
facepalm:
-
Nod's cleaner has tested positive for Covid. Nod's response to this news is to wear rubber gloves at all times noooo:
facepalm:
facepalm: facepalm:
-
Nod's cleaner has tested positive for Covid. Nod's response to this news is to wear rubber gloves at all times noooo:
Where ...... rubschin: and where on body .. rubschin:
-
Nod calls and wails: The boiler is going mad and the whole place is like a sauna, I have called the boiler repair man
Me: put the kettle on
I go round and look at the wall mounted control box. Dead.
Me: Have you got two AA batteries
Nod rummages in a drawer and finds some. I replace the batteries and reset the temperature control to 21 degrees, as Nod requests. The boiler goes off. Nod panics. I suggest he opens some windows.
10 minutes later
Nod: It's come back on!! eeek:
Me: Correct
5 minutes later
Nod: It's gone off again!! I will have to recall the repair man!!
Me: Do you know what a thermostat does?
Nod: Not really
Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
-
Nod calls and wails: The boiler is going mad and the whole place is like a sauna, I have called the boiler repair man
Me: put the kettle on
I go round and look at the wall mounted control box. Dead.
Me: Have you got two AA batteries
Nod rummages in a drawer and finds some. I replace the batteries and reset the temperature control to 21 degrees, as Nod requests. The boiler goes off. Nod panics. I suggest he opens some windows.
10 minutes later
Nod: It's come back on!! eeek:
Me: Correct
5 minutes later
Nod: It's gone off again!! I will have to recall the repair man!!
Me: Do you know what a thermostat does?
Nod: Not really
Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod calls and wails: The boiler is going mad and the whole place is like a sauna, I have called the boiler repair man
Me: put the kettle on
I go round and look at the wall mounted control box. Dead.
Me: Have you got two AA batteries
Nod rummages in a drawer and finds some. I replace the batteries and reset the temperature control to 21 degrees, as Nod requests. The boiler goes off. Nod panics. I suggest he opens some windows.
10 minutes later
Nod: It's come back on!! eeek:
Me: Correct
5 minutes later
Nod: It's gone off again!! I will have to recall the repair man!!
Me: Do you know what a thermostat does?
Nod: Not really
Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod is getting his flat rewired and then redecorated. He plans to move out and stay in a hotel for a week or so while this is done (once this becomes possible).
Yesterday he was fretting about his new laptop. I am worried it might get stolen while I am away, he said.
I suggested he take it with him.
"But it won't work anywhere else."
A bit of questioning establshed that he was not aware that WiFi is available almost everywhere, including restaurants, hotels, buses, trains and so on noooo: noooo:
-
Nod is getting his flat rewired and then redecorated. He plans to move out and stay in a hotel for a week or so while this is done (once this becomes possible).
Yesterday he was fretting about his new laptop. I am worried it might get stolen while I am away, he said.
I suggested he take it with him.
"But it won't work anywhere else."
A bit of questioning establshed that he was not aware that WiFi is available almost everywhere, including restaurants, hotels, buses, trains and so on noooo: noooo:
Sell him one that does.......... whistle:
-
Nod is getting his flat rewired and then redecorated. He plans to move out and stay in a hotel for a week or so while this is done (once this becomes possible).
Yesterday he was fretting about his new laptop. I am worried it might get stolen while I am away, he said.
I suggested he take it with him.
"But it won't work anywhere else."
A bit of questioning establshed that he was not aware that WiFi is available almost everywhere, including restaurants, hotels, buses, trains and so on noooo: noooo:
Sell him one that does.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
I have a spare... rubschin:
-
Nod is getting his flat rewired and then redecorated. He plans to move out and stay in a hotel for a week or so while this is done (once this becomes possible).
Yesterday he was fretting about his new laptop. I am worried it might get stolen while I am away, he said.
I suggested he take it with him.
"But it won't work anywhere else."
A bit of questioning establshed that he was not aware that WiFi is available almost everywhere, including restaurants, hotels, buses, trains and so on noooo: noooo:
Sell him one that does.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
I have a spare... rubschin:
Used to be BM's..........used by Nod......taught by Nick....
rubschin:
rubschin:
rubschin:
What's the worst that could happen... scared2:
-
Nod is getting his flat rewired and then redecorated. He plans to move out and stay in a hotel for a week or so while this is done (once this becomes possible).
Yesterday he was fretting about his new laptop. I am worried it might get stolen while I am away, he said.
I suggested he take it with him.
"But it won't work anywhere else."
A bit of questioning establshed that he was not aware that WiFi is available almost everywhere, including restaurants, hotels, buses, trains and so on noooo: noooo:
Sell him one that does.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
I have a spare... rubschin:
What is it ..always in market for a deal ..... rubschin:
-
Been giving him a tutorial (reading age of 3) on how wi fi works. It was stressful noooo:
-
Been giving him a tutorial (reading age of 3) on how wi fi works. It was stressful noooo:
Do you hear that faint rumbling off in the far distance? That's the sound of Growler laughing his ass off.. point:
-
Nod met Growler once. They got on very well rubschin: rubschin: rubschin:
-
Nod is getting his flat rewired and then redecorated. He plans to move out and stay in a hotel for a week or so while this is done (once this becomes possible).
Yesterday he was fretting about his new laptop. I am worried it might get stolen while I am away, he said.
I suggested he take it with him.
"But it won't work anywhere else."
A bit of questioning establshed that he was not aware that WiFi is available almost everywhere, including restaurants, hotels, buses, trains and so on noooo: noooo:
Sell him one that does.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
I have a spare... rubschin:
What is it ..always in market for a deal ..... rubschin:
Feck off tight arse... ::)
-
Nod is getting his flat rewired and then redecorated. He plans to move out and stay in a hotel for a week or so while this is done (once this becomes possible).
Yesterday he was fretting about his new laptop. I am worried it might get stolen while I am away, he said.
I suggested he take it with him.
"But it won't work anywhere else."
A bit of questioning establshed that he was not aware that WiFi is available almost everywhere, including restaurants, hotels, buses, trains and so on noooo: noooo:
Sell him one that does.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
I have a spare... rubschin:
What is it ..always in market for a deal ..... rubschin:
Feck off tight arse... ::)
So more than a tenner ...... rubschin:
-
Nod is getting his flat rewired and then redecorated. He plans to move out and stay in a hotel for a week or so while this is done (once this becomes possible).
Yesterday he was fretting about his new laptop. I am worried it might get stolen while I am away, he said.
I suggested he take it with him.
"But it won't work anywhere else."
A bit of questioning establshed that he was not aware that WiFi is available almost everywhere, including restaurants, hotels, buses, trains and so on noooo: noooo:
Sell him one that does.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
I have a spare... rubschin:
What is it ..always in market for a deal ..... rubschin:
Feck off tight arse... ::)
So more than a tenner ...... rubschin:
Zackly... ::)
-
Nod has his first appointment tomorrow for psychotherapy (my suggestion angel1 )
I fear for the sanity of the therapist noooo:
-
Nod has his first appointment tomorrow for psychotherapy (my suggestion angel1 )
I fear for the sanity of the therapist noooo:
Popcorn:
-
Nod has his first appointment tomorrow for psychotherapy (my suggestion angel1 )
I fear for the sanity of the therapist noooo:
Is it a double appointment ? lol:
-
Nod has his first appointment tomorrow for psychotherapy (my suggestion angel1 )
I fear for the sanity of the therapist noooo:
Is it a double appointment ? lol:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Time for my "Physio the rapist" joke ........ Thumbs:
-
Time for my "Physio the rapist" joke ........ Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is angel1 angel1 angel1
On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting. eeek:
Dress costs £15000 Shocked: (she was a big winner on the Lottery)
Nod asks me what he should do or say
I advise:
1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her :thumbsup:
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)
Job done :thumbsup:
Nod made notes
I am a genius angel1 angel1
-
Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is angel1 angel1 angel1
On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting. eeek:
Dress costs £15000 Shocked: (she was a big winner on the Lottery)
Nod asks me what he should do or say
I advise:
1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her :thumbsup:
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)
Job done :thumbsup:
Nod made notes
I am a genius angel1 angel1
worthy:
-
Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is angel1 angel1 angel1
On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting. eeek:
Dress costs £15000 Shocked: (she was a big winner on the Lottery)
Nod asks me what he should do or say
I advise:
1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her :thumbsup:
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)
Job done :thumbsup:
Nod made notes
I am a genius angel1 angel1
Cleaner : "Does my bum look big in this?"
Nod (panicking and referring to the notes then using the closest match): "It's too tight across"
noooo:
-
eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: scared2:
-
eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: scared2:
I'm sure that retribution will be quick and relatively painless once he explains you gave him the advice... noooo:
-
Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is angel1 angel1 angel1
On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting. eeek:
Dress costs £15000 Shocked: (she was a big winner on the Lottery)
Nod asks me what he should do or say
I advise:
1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her :thumbsup:
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)
Job done :thumbsup:
Nod made notes
I am a genius angel1 angel1
worthy:
worthy: worthy:
-
I recall helping Mrs Nick choose a new dress once. I told her the one she chose made her look like a "beached whale". It did! Fortunately, the 8 year old the Boy was with me and he agreed. I think he said "Walrus". angel1 angel1
-
Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is angel1 angel1 angel1
On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting. eeek:
Dress costs £15000 Shocked: (she was a big winner on the Lottery)
Nod asks me what he should do or say
I advise:
1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her :thumbsup:
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)
Job done :thumbsup:
Nod made notes
I am a genius angel1 angel1
Why is she still a cleaner ..... rubschin:
-
Nod has called on me for some advice and I have given the most excellent advice there is angel1 angel1 angel1
On Monday, his cleaner is taking him to help her with her wedding dress fitting. eeek:
Dress costs £15000 Shocked: (she was a big winner on the Lottery)
Nod asks me what he should do or say
I advise:
1. Tell her it looks wonderful and really suits her :thumbsup:
2. Insist on looking at the back of the dress (which she cannot see in a mirror) and suggest to her/the dressmaker that the bit across her shoulders is too tight/too loose (it has to be on or the other)
Job done :thumbsup:
Nod made notes
I am a genius angel1 angel1
Why is she still a cleaner ..... rubschin:
Scrubber... whistle:
-
She jacked in her job, bought a nice house and big Merc. She got bored. She does 2 hours a day (£10 an hour) of cleaning to get her out of the house. She seems to deal mainly with hard luck cases ::) She takes food to Nod. He is not keen on her two pit bull terriers. noooo:
-
She jacked in her job, bought a nice house and big Merc. She got bored. She does 2 hours a day (£10 an hour) of cleaning to get her out of the house. She seems to deal mainly with hard luck cases ::) She takes food to Nod. He is not keen on her two pit bull terriers. noooo:
Thumbs:
-
And she has no other friends or family that she would take to a dress fitting to get an opinion from ?? rubschin:
-
And she has no other friends or family that she would take to a dress fitting to get an opinion from ?? rubschin:
One last fling you say...? rubschin:
-
And she has no other friends or family that she would take to a dress fitting to get an opinion from ?? rubschin:
It's inexplicable. Full report tomorrow :thumbsup:
-
Nod had hoped, as the fitting was at 12, to make "lunch" by 12.45.
Clothes shopping. With wimmin. 45 minutes happy001 happy001 happy001
He is an idiot
For a wedding dress. 45 minutes? happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002
At 1.45 he texted to say that his feal job was to CARRY the dress from the makers to the cleaner's house in the poshest part of Nottingham (about a mile, with parking limitations everywhere). It is pouring with rain and he is soaked and knackered. She gave him a lift home in her other car (the Porsche) which he had trouble climbing out of noooo: noooo:
-
Nod had hoped, as the fitting was at 12, to make "lunch" by 12.45.
Clothes shopping. With wimmin. 45 minutes happy001 happy001 happy001
He is an idiot
For a wedding dress. 45 minutes? happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002
At 1.45 he texted to say that his feal job was to CARRY the dress from the makers to the cleaner's house in the poshest part of Nottingham (about a mile, with parking limitations everywhere). It is pouring with rain and he is soaked and knackered. She gave him a lift home in her other car (the Porsche) which he had trouble climbing out of noooo: noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod had hoped, as the fitting was at 12, to make "lunch" by 12.45.
Clothes shopping. With wimmin. 45 minutes happy001 happy001 happy001
He is an idiot
For a wedding dress. 45 minutes? happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002
At 1.45 he texted to say that his feal job was to CARRY the dress from the makers to the cleaner's house in the poshest part of Nottingham (about a mile, with parking limitations everywhere). It is pouring with rain and he is soaked and knackered. She gave him a lift home in her other car (the Porsche) which he had trouble climbing out of noooo: noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod needs a new phone. Guess who got that gig? Banghead Banghead
-
https://www.digitalcameraworld.com/uk/buying-guides/best-dumbphone
Job done. Nokia 800 Tough, an inexpensive basic phone that probably has the best chance of surviving the pair of you.. whistle:
-
Nod needs a new phone. Guess who got that gig? Banghead Banghead
one of these?
(https://c8.alamy.com/comp/AGF2J2/cans-and-string-AGF2J2.jpg)
Avoid iPhone 12's for him. It's a great phone but there's no finger print sensor and guess what the Face ID does when you're wearing a mask? Absolutely nothing
-
Cans and string are just within his range Banghead Banghead
-
Cans and string are just within his range Banghead Banghead
Another Socialist, huh?
-
Nod needs a new phone. Guess who got that gig? Banghead Banghead
Did he "phone a friend " ...... rubschin:
-
That was predictably stressful NickSick
We go to the local O2 shop. I tell Nod what he has to say to start the transaction. The manager is very helpful and we both make it clear that I am there to advise and translate ::)
Manager quickly assesses that Nod is a baby in these matters.
I advise Nod to get a new Samsung as it is VERY SIMILAR TO HIS OLD PHONE AND WILL BE LESS TRAUMATIC ::)
The deal is agreed and with some help Nod signs up. They then say they will transfer everything on his old phone to his new phone. I have taken the precaution of getting his PAC number to transfer his phone number:thumbsup: . Nod thinks this is witchcraft.
We return an hour later and the manager reports success except for one final step. He needs Nod's Google password to complete the installation of some apps. Nod whimpers and denies having a Google password.
Manager says, you have a gmail address on here but we need the password or we can set up a new one. Nod pleads with me and whimpers.
Manager and I go into password setup and ask Nod for a new password which he will NEVER FORGET!
He uses his mother's maiden name. Manager says it is too short, can you add some numbers or something.
Nod: 666
The manager looks at me in alarm facepalm:
I take Nod home and we practice turning it on and off again several times noooo: noooo:
-
lol: lol: lol:
Care in the Community was never that good an idea
-
That was predictably stressful NickSick
We go to the local O2 shop. I tell Nod what he has to say to start the transaction. The manager is very helpful and we both make it clear that I am there to advise and translate ::)
Manager quickly assesses that Nod is a baby in these matters.
I advise Nod to get a new Samsung as it is VERY SIMILAR TO HIS OLD PHONE AND WILL BE LESS TRAUMATIC ::)
The deal is agreed and with some help Nod signs up. They then say they will transfer everything on his old phone to his new phone. I have taken the precaution of getting his PAC number to transfer his phone number:thumbsup: . Nod thinks this is witchcraft.
We return an hour later and the manager reports success except for one final step. He needs Nod's Google password to complete the installation of some apps. Nod whimpers and denies having a Google password.
Manager says, you have a gmail address on here but we need the password or we can set up a new one. Nod pleads with me and whimpers.
Manager and I go into password setup and ask Nod for a new password which he will NEVER FORGET!
He uses his mother's maiden name. Manager says it is too short, can you add some numbers or something.
Nod: 666
The manager looks at me in alarm facepalm:
I take Nod home and we practice turning it on and off again several times noooo: noooo:
happy001
Great story - doesn't beat Growler's haunted phone tho.... whistle:
-
lol: lol: lol:
Care in the Community was never that good an idea
Ah, but it was never meant to be a case of the partially sighted leading the blind... whistle:
-
Ackchooly, until Virgin transfer his old number he has a new number for 48 hours rubschin: I am the only one who knows it. Do you think I should call him, disguise my voice and demand to speak to Debby to make a one hour massage appointment? rubschin: rubschin:
-
Ackchooly, until Virgin transfer his old number he has a new number for 48 hours rubschin: I am the only one who knows it. Do you think I should call him, disguise my voice and demand to speak to Debby to make a one hour massage appointment? rubschin: rubschin:
eveilgrin:
-
Ackchooly, until Virgin transfer his old number he has a new number for 48 hours rubschin: I am the only one who knows it. Do you think I should call him, disguise my voice and demand to speak to Debby to make a one hour massage appointment? rubschin: rubschin:
If his data has been transferred across all that will happen is when your number displays he is just going to end up thinking you have covid and wondering how you know 'Debby' whistle:
-
He eventually recognised my voice redface: redface:
-
Ackchooly, until Virgin transfer his old number he has a new number for 48 hours rubschin: I am the only one who knows it. Do you think I should call him, disguise my voice and demand to speak to Debby to make a one hour massage appointment? rubschin: rubschin:
If his data has been transferred across all that will happen is when your number displays he is just going to end up thinking you have covid and wondering how you know 'Debby' whistle:
I withheld my number whistle:
-
He eventually recognised my voice redface: redface:
point:
Good plan though
-
That was predictably stressful NickSick
We go to the local O2 shop. I tell Nod what he has to say to start the transaction. The manager is very helpful and we both make it clear that I am there to advise and translate ::)
Manager quickly assesses that Nod is a baby in these matters.
I advise Nod to get a new Samsung as it is VERY SIMILAR TO HIS OLD PHONE AND WILL BE LESS TRAUMATIC ::)
The deal is agreed and with some help Nod signs up. They then say they will transfer everything on his old phone to his new phone. I have taken the precaution of getting his PAC number to transfer his phone number:thumbsup: . Nod thinks this is witchcraft.
We return an hour later and the manager reports success except for one final step. He needs Nod's Google password to complete the installation of some apps. Nod whimpers and denies having a Google password.
Manager says, you have a gmail address on here but we need the password or we can set up a new one. Nod pleads with me and whimpers.
Manager and I go into password setup and ask Nod for a new password which he will NEVER FORGET!
He uses his mother's maiden name. Manager says it is too short, can you add some numbers or something.
Nod: 666
The manager looks at me in alarm facepalm:
I take Nod home and we practice turning it on and off again several times noooo: noooo:
happy001 happy001
-
In my excitement about bonkers wumman I forgot to relate Nod's recent adventure.
He originates from N. Wales and, twice a year, he meets a cousin and spouse in Shrewsbury.
Saturday was one of these occasions and all three were booked into a hotel in the town.
Nod set off by train at about 1.30 and necked some wine from the train trolley.
Delayed at New Street, he decided that a pint or two were in order.
On the train to Shrewsbury he had another large collapso.
Arriving in Shrewsbury he set off to the hotel but got lost and stopped off in a pub for directions and a much needed pint ::)
At the hotel where all three were booked in the receptionist/manager said, "YOu are drunk. I will not let you stay here. Go away."
Nod knew of another hotel "round the corner" but got lost and ended up in another pub. He then found the station, boarded a train, got lost at New Street and eventually arrived home at midnight.
When his cousins arrived at the hotel and enquired if Mr Nod had checked in the manager informed them he was barred. noooo:
Nod asked me what I thought he should say to his cousins who paid to spend a night in a hotel for no reason at all facepalm:
Nod is off to meet his cousins in Shrewsbury next week. He wonders if I want to come along and drive him there. He will pay petrol and hotel. What can possibly go wrong? rubschin:
-
In my excitement about bonkers wumman I forgot to relate Nod's recent adventure.
He originates from N. Wales and, twice a year, he meets a cousin and spouse in Shrewsbury.
Saturday was one of these occasions and all three were booked into a hotel in the town.
Nod set off by train at about 1.30 and necked some wine from the train trolley.
Delayed at New Street, he decided that a pint or two were in order.
On the train to Shrewsbury he had another large collapso.
Arriving in Shrewsbury he set off to the hotel but got lost and stopped off in a pub for directions and a much needed pint ::)
At the hotel where all three were booked in the receptionist/manager said, "YOu are drunk. I will not let you stay here. Go away."
Nod knew of another hotel "round the corner" but got lost and ended up in another pub. He then found the station, boarded a train, got lost at New Street and eventually arrived home at midnight.
When his cousins arrived at the hotel and enquired if Mr Nod had checked in the manager informed them he was barred. noooo:
Nod asked me what I thought he should say to his cousins who paid to spend a night in a hotel for no reason at all facepalm:
Nod is off to meet his cousins in Shrewsbury next week. He wonders if I want to come along and drive him there. He will pay petrol and hotel. What can possibly go wrong? rubschin:
I'm sure his cousins will be supportive of the relationship... noooo:
-
In my excitement about bonkers wumman I forgot to relate Nod's recent adventure.
He originates from N. Wales and, twice a year, he meets a cousin and spouse in Shrewsbury.
Saturday was one of these occasions and all three were booked into a hotel in the town.
Nod set off by train at about 1.30 and necked some wine from the train trolley.
Delayed at New Street, he decided that a pint or two were in order.
On the train to Shrewsbury he had another large collapso.
Arriving in Shrewsbury he set off to the hotel but got lost and stopped off in a pub for directions and a much needed pint ::)
At the hotel where all three were booked in the receptionist/manager said, "YOu are drunk. I will not let you stay here. Go away."
Nod knew of another hotel "round the corner" but got lost and ended up in another pub. He then found the station, boarded a train, got lost at New Street and eventually arrived home at midnight.
When his cousins arrived at the hotel and enquired if Mr Nod had checked in the manager informed them he was barred. noooo:
Nod asked me what I thought he should say to his cousins who paid to spend a night in a hotel for no reason at all facepalm:
Nod is off to meet his cousins in Shrewsbury next week. He wonders if I want to come along and drive him there. He will pay petrol and hotel. What can possibly go wrong? rubschin:
Well how long have you got?
Don't do it Nick, invent a pressing appointment, tell him to use a private hire taxi, feign death, say you've got Covid-N the Nod killing variant (other excuses are available)
-
In my excitement about bonkers wumman I forgot to relate Nod's recent adventure.
He originates from N. Wales and, twice a year, he meets a cousin and spouse in Shrewsbury.
Saturday was one of these occasions and all three were booked into a hotel in the town.
Nod set off by train at about 1.30 and necked some wine from the train trolley.
Delayed at New Street, he decided that a pint or two were in order.
On the train to Shrewsbury he had another large collapso.
Arriving in Shrewsbury he set off to the hotel but got lost and stopped off in a pub for directions and a much needed pint ::)
At the hotel where all three were booked in the receptionist/manager said, "YOu are drunk. I will not let you stay here. Go away."
Nod knew of another hotel "round the corner" but got lost and ended up in another pub. He then found the station, boarded a train, got lost at New Street and eventually arrived home at midnight.
When his cousins arrived at the hotel and enquired if Mr Nod had checked in the manager informed them he was barred. noooo:
Nod asked me what I thought he should say to his cousins who paid to spend a night in a hotel for no reason at all facepalm:
Nod is off to meet his cousins in Shrewsbury next week. He wonders if I want to come along and drive him there. He will pay petrol and hotel. What can possibly go wrong? rubschin:
Well how long have you got?
Don't do it Nick, invent a pressing appointment, tell him to use a private hire taxi, feign death, say you've got Covid-N the Nod killing variant (other excuses are available)
;D
-
Nod's technophobia gets worse.
I went round today and he was complaining that his CD player has packed up. I put a CD in his DVD player and pressed Play. His new TV (gift from his millionaire cleaner) has big speakers. The CD played. Nod had no clue what was going on and whimpered as I explained that his DVD machine was ALSO a CD player. Banghead Banghead Banghead "How do I get my TV back?" "You turn the DVD machine off!!"
He gave me his old "broken" CD player. It works fine. Helps if you plug it in and switch it on ::)
He got the boiler company out yesterday as his heating is not working. Why? Thermostat is set to 23 degrees. Internal temperature in the flat is 21 degrees. I explain about thermostats and reset it to 22 degrees. Boiler comes on. Banghead Banghead Banghead Nod is astounded
Now I have to take him to hospital for both a new arsecam AND a CT scan on Monday morning.
Nod is an big baby Banghead Banghead
-
Nod's technophobia gets worse.
I went round today and he was complaining that his CD player has packed up. I put a CD in his DVD player and pressed Play. His new TV (gift from his millionaire cleaner) has big speakers. The CD played. Nod had no clue what was going on and whimpered as I explained that his DVD machine was ALSO a CD player. Banghead Banghead Banghead "How do I get my TV back?" "You turn the DVD machine off!!"
He gave me his old "broken" CD player. It works fine. Helps if you plug it in and switch it on ::)
He got the boiler company out yesterday as his heating is not working. Why? Thermostat is set to 23 degrees. Internal temperature in the flat is 21 degrees. I explain about thermostats and reset it to 22 degrees. Boiler comes on. Banghead Banghead Banghead Nod is astounded
Now I have to take him to hospital for both a new arsecam AND a CT scan on Monday morning.
Nod is an big baby Banghead Banghead
If you listen carefully you can just hear faint the sounds of the lesser spotted Growler laughing his ass off about karma.. whistle:
-
It seems that for maximum efficiency they pumped Nod full of iodine and shoved him through a CT scanner face down while sumultaneously shoving a balloon and a camera up his arse
He said it felt "undignified" point: point: point:
-
It seems that for maximum efficiency they pumped Nod full of iodine and shoved him through a CT scanner face down while sumultaneously shoving a balloon and a camera up his arse
He said it felt "undignified" point: point: point:
happy001
-
It seems that for maximum efficiency they pumped Nod full of iodine and shoved him through a CT scanner face down while sumultaneously shoving a balloon and a camera up his arse
He said it felt "undignified" point: point: point:
eeek:
(https://i.wpimg.pl/1200x0/m.gadzetomania.pl/balloon-aae804438b57cf713b3f3b37.jpg)
-
It seems that for maximum efficiency they pumped Nod full of iodine and shoved him through a CT scanner face down while sumultaneously shoving a balloon and a camera up his arse
He said it felt "undignified" point: point: point:
Better a balloon than a quadcopter
-
In my excitement about bonkers wumman I forgot to relate Nod's recent adventure.
He originates from N. Wales and, twice a year, he meets a cousin and spouse in Shrewsbury.
Saturday was one of these occasions and all three were booked into a hotel in the town.
Nod set off by train at about 1.30 and necked some wine from the train trolley.
Delayed at New Street, he decided that a pint or two were in order.
On the train to Shrewsbury he had another large collapso.
Arriving in Shrewsbury he set off to the hotel but got lost and stopped off in a pub for directions and a much needed pint ::)
At the hotel where all three were booked in the receptionist/manager said, "YOu are drunk. I will not let you stay here. Go away."
Nod knew of another hotel "round the corner" but got lost and ended up in another pub. He then found the station, boarded a train, got lost at New Street and eventually arrived home at midnight.
When his cousins arrived at the hotel and enquired if Mr Nod had checked in the manager informed them he was barred. noooo:
Nod asked me what I thought he should say to his cousins who paid to spend a night in a hotel for no reason at all facepalm:
Nod is off to Shrewsbury today to meet his cousins whistle:
-
Popcorn:
-
Nod attends a GP practice with 6 GPs. One of them he does not get on with. The guy has a Bible on his desk and seems to attribute all illnesses to the evil of alcohol before proceeding to further investigation. Apparently a number of patients find the guy difficult and try to avoid him.
Let us call him Dr. Reid.
Nod has a friend who is a retired GP who confirms that DR REID is known amongst the local GP community as a bit of a loony. She mentioned to NOd that if he had any more problems with DR REID that he should consider approaching the CQC to lodge a complaint, but that a conversation with the Practice Manager would be prudent first :thumbsup:
There had been a number of run ins, but incensed by DR REID's handlilng of his arse problems to date Nod decided to call the Practice Manager, as advised. He called the surgery and asked to speak to the Practice Manager.
He was called back.
Thanks for callilng, he says. I am very angry about my many encounters with DR REID. He clearly has some sorr of puritanical religious agenda and is consistently hostile about that fact that I like a glass or two of wine! He can be rude and abrupt and I do not feel that he listens. I do NOT wish to see him again and would prefer to see any other GP rather than him. I know he has a bad reputation locally and I am not surprised!! Can you handled this or should I escalate it to the CQC?
Practice Manager: I am DR REID
doublefacepalm doublefacepalm doublefacepalm
-
Nod attends a GP practice with 6 GPs. One of them he does not get on with. The guy has a Bible on his desk and seems to attribute all illnesses to the evil of alcohol before proceeding to further investigation. Apparently a number of patients find the guy difficult and try to avoid him.
Let us call him Dr. Reid.
Nod has a friend who is a retired GP who confirms that DR REID is known amongst the local GP community as a bit of a loony. She mentioned to NOd that if he had any more problems with DR REID that he should consider approaching the CQC to lodge a complaint, but that a conversation with the Practice Manager would be prudent first :thumbsup:
There had been a number of run ins, but incensed by DR REID's handlilng of his arse problems to date Nod decided to call the Practice Manager, as advised. He called the surgery and asked to speak to the Practice Manager.
He was called back.
Thanks for callilng, he says. I am very angry about my many encounters with DR REID. He clearly has some sorr of puritanical religious agenda and is consistently hostile about that fact that I like a glass or two of wine! He can be rude and abrupt and I do not feel that he listens. I do NOT wish to see him again and would prefer to see any other GP rather than him. I know he has a bad reputation locally and I am not surprised!! Can you handled this or should I escalate it to the CQC?
Practice Manager: I am DR REID
doublefacepalm doublefacepalm doublefacepalm
happy002
-
Nod attends a GP practice with 6 GPs. One of them he does not get on with. The guy has a Bible on his desk and seems to attribute all illnesses to the evil of alcohol before proceeding to further investigation. Apparently a number of patients find the guy difficult and try to avoid him.
Let us call him Dr. Reid.
Nod has a friend who is a retired GP who confirms that DR REID is known amongst the local GP community as a bit of a loony. She mentioned to NOd that if he had any more problems with DR REID that he should consider approaching the CQC to lodge a complaint, but that a conversation with the Practice Manager would be prudent first :thumbsup:
There had been a number of run ins, but incensed by DR REID's handlilng of his arse problems to date Nod decided to call the Practice Manager, as advised. He called the surgery and asked to speak to the Practice Manager.
He was called back.
Thanks for callilng, he says. I am very angry about my many encounters with DR REID. He clearly has some sorr of puritanical religious agenda and is consistently hostile about that fact that I like a glass or two of wine! He can be rude and abrupt and I do not feel that he listens. I do NOT wish to see him again and would prefer to see any other GP rather than him. I know he has a bad reputation locally and I am not surprised!! Can you handled this or should I escalate it to the CQC?
Practice Manager: I am DR REID
doublefacepalm doublefacepalm doublefacepalm
happy002
happy002 happy002
-
Nod attends a GP practice with 6 GPs. One of them he does not get on with. The guy has a Bible on his desk and seems to attribute all illnesses to the evil of alcohol before proceeding to further investigation. Apparently a number of patients find the guy difficult and try to avoid him.
Let us call him Dr. Reid.
Nod has a friend who is a retired GP who confirms that DR REID is known amongst the local GP community as a bit of a loony. She mentioned to NOd that if he had any more problems with DR REID that he should consider approaching the CQC to lodge a complaint, but that a conversation with the Practice Manager would be prudent first :thumbsup:
There had been a number of run ins, but incensed by DR REID's handlilng of his arse problems to date Nod decided to call the Practice Manager, as advised. He called the surgery and asked to speak to the Practice Manager.
He was called back.
Thanks for callilng, he says. I am very angry about my many encounters with DR REID. He clearly has some sorr of puritanical religious agenda and is consistently hostile about that fact that I like a glass or two of wine! He can be rude and abrupt and I do not feel that he listens. I do NOT wish to see him again and would prefer to see any other GP rather than him. I know he has a bad reputation locally and I am not surprised!! Can you handled this or should I escalate it to the CQC?
Practice Manager: I am DR REID
doublefacepalm doublefacepalm doublefacepalm
happy002
happy002 happy002
;D ;D ;D noooo:
-
Nod attends a GP practice with 6 GPs. One of them he does not get on with. The guy has a Bible on his desk and seems to attribute all illnesses to the evil of alcohol before proceeding to further investigation. Apparently a number of patients find the guy difficult and try to avoid him.
Let us call him Dr. Reid.
Nod has a friend who is a retired GP who confirms that DR REID is known amongst the local GP community as a bit of a loony. She mentioned to NOd that if he had any more problems with DR REID that he should consider approaching the CQC to lodge a complaint, but that a conversation with the Practice Manager would be prudent first :thumbsup:
There had been a number of run ins, but incensed by DR REID's handlilng of his arse problems to date Nod decided to call the Practice Manager, as advised. He called the surgery and asked to speak to the Practice Manager.
He was called back.
Thanks for callilng, he says. I am very angry about my many encounters with DR REID. He clearly has some sorr of puritanical religious agenda and is consistently hostile about that fact that I like a glass or two of wine! He can be rude and abrupt and I do not feel that he listens. I do NOT wish to see him again and would prefer to see any other GP rather than him. I know he has a bad reputation locally and I am not surprised!! Can you handled this or should I escalate it to the CQC?
Practice Manager: I am DR REID
doublefacepalm doublefacepalm doublefacepalm
happy002
happy002 happy002
;D ;D ;D noooo:
happy002 happy002 happy002
-
Nod attends a GP practice with 6 GPs. One of them he does not get on with. The guy has a Bible on his desk and seems to attribute all illnesses to the evil of alcohol before proceeding to further investigation. Apparently a number of patients find the guy difficult and try to avoid him.
Let us call him Dr. Reid.
Nod has a friend who is a retired GP who confirms that DR REID is known amongst the local GP community as a bit of a loony. She mentioned to NOd that if he had any more problems with DR REID that he should consider approaching the CQC to lodge a complaint, but that a conversation with the Practice Manager would be prudent first :thumbsup:
There had been a number of run ins, but incensed by DR REID's handlilng of his arse problems to date Nod decided to call the Practice Manager, as advised. He called the surgery and asked to speak to the Practice Manager.
He was called back.
Thanks for callilng, he says. I am very angry about my many encounters with DR REID. He clearly has some sorr of puritanical religious agenda and is consistently hostile about that fact that I like a glass or two of wine! He can be rude and abrupt and I do not feel that he listens. I do NOT wish to see him again and would prefer to see any other GP rather than him. I know he has a bad reputation locally and I am not surprised!! Can you handled this or should I escalate it to the CQC?
Practice Manager: I am DR REID
doublefacepalm doublefacepalm doublefacepalm
happy002
happy002 happy002
;D ;D ;D noooo:
happy002 happy002 happy002
happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002
-
lol: lol: lol:
Is Nod now looking for a new practice ? rubschin:
-
We agree that we will have a little outing to a local church that has some rare 13th century wall paintings.
We arrive in the village and wait for the rain to stop. I suggest that the place may be locked.
Nod: No, I can see the vicar. He is wearing a yellow jacket and is getting his bike ready
I look and see no vicar or bike
Me: You are hallucinating
Nod: ARE YOU TRYING TO WIND ME UP cussing: cussing: cussing:
Me: I can see a yellow Broom bush waving in the wind
Nod: It is the vicar in a yellow jacket
Me: Put your specs on
Nod complies
Nod: Oh redface:
The door remains locked
I take Nod home
-
We agree that we will have a little outing to a local church that has some rare 13th century wall paintings.
We arrive in the village and wait for the rain to stop. I suggest that the place may be locked.
Nod: No, I can see the vicar. He is wearing a yellow jacket and is getting his bike ready
I look and see no vicar or bike
Me: You are hallucinating
Nod: ARE YOU TRYING TO WIND ME UP cussing: cussing: cussing:
Me: I can see a yellow Broom bush waving in the wind
Nod: It is the vicar in a yellow jacket
Me: Put your specs on
Nod complies
Nod: Oh redface:
The door remains locked
I take Nod home
And not for the first time we can see that the pair of you are made for each other.. lol:
-
Half the way there he was ranting about potholes. When we got near he started ranting about roadworks FIXING potholes.
He is an idiot
-
Half the way there he was ranting about potholes. When we got near he started ranting about roadworks FIXING potholes.
He is an idiot
I refer you to my earlier response.. whistle:
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Half the way there he was ranting about potholes. When we got near he started ranting about roadworks FIXING potholes.
He is an idiot
I'm with Nod on this
99% of roadworks 'fixing potholes' are just doing a temporary fill that won't last another winter. There are durable fillings for potholes, council accountants say no. So moaning at being delayed while workers are just in effect bodging is a fair grump IMHO.
-
Half the way there he was ranting about potholes. When we got near he started ranting about roadworks FIXING potholes.
He is an idiot
I'm with Nod on this
99% of roadworks 'fixing potholes' are just doing a temporary fill that won't last another winter. There are durable fillings for potholes, council accountants say no. So moaning at being delayed while workers are just in effect bodging is a fair grump IMHO.
I concur
-
Took Nod to the solicitors today to pick up the latest windfall cheque from his mum's estate. He was expecting about £4000
No dice noooo:
The cheque had to be signed by one of the partners BUT unfortunately his mum's Gas supplier had remitted an overpayment of 26p earlier in the day and this had to be split between him and his brother equally and added to a new cheque requiring two signatories and this may take another week or so......
Nod not happy noooo:
-
Took Nod to the solicitors today to pick up the latest windfall cheque from his mum's estate. He was expecting about £4000
No dice noooo:
The cheque had to be signed by one of the partners BUT unfortunately his mum's Gas supplier had remitted an overpayment of 26p earlier in the day and this had to be split between him and his brother equally and added to a new cheque requiring two signatories and this may take another week or so......
Nod not happy noooo:
noooo:
-
Took Nod to the solicitors today to pick up the latest windfall cheque from his mum's estate. He was expecting about £4000
No dice noooo:
The cheque had to be signed by one of the partners BUT unfortunately his mum's Gas supplier had remitted an overpayment of 26p earlier in the day and this had to be split between him and his brother equally and added to a new cheque requiring two signatories and this may take another week or so......
Nod not happy noooo:
noooo:
FFS my solicitor just does a bank transfer
-
I suggested this, but Nod prefers cheques Banghead Banghead
-
I suggested this, but Nod prefers cheques Banghead Banghead
Have you broken the news to him that we don't have an empire any more?
-
He still pays all his bills by sending cheques in the post noooo:
-
He still pays all his bills by sending cheques in the post noooo:
When did he change over from Postal Orders...? lol:
-
He still pays all his bills by sending cheques in the post noooo:
When did he change over from Postal Orders...? lol:
lol: lol:
-
Nod looks pleased
Nod: Chris (scatty mutual friend) has given me a ticket for the Test match :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Me: Pity it's pouring with rain
Nod: Oh no, it is for August 4th :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Me: That was 2 days ago
Nod: Banghead Banghead Banghead
-
Nod looks pleased
Nod: Chris (scatty mutual friend) has given me a ticket for the Test match :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Me: Pity it's pouring with rain
Nod: Oh no, it is for August 4th :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Me: That was 2 days ago
Nod: Banghead Banghead Banghead
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod looks pleased
Nod: Chris (scatty mutual friend) has given me a ticket for the Test match :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Me: Pity it's pouring with rain
Nod: Oh no, it is for August 4th :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Me: That was 2 days ago
Nod: Banghead Banghead Banghead
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod calls: My central heating is broken, he wails
I go round ::)
He admits to fiddling with the controls. ::)
I switch the boiler back on
-
Nod calls: My central heating is broken, he wails
I go round ::)
He admits to fiddling with the controls. ::)
I switch the boiler back on
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod calls: My central heating is broken, he wails
I go round ::)
He admits to fiddling with the controls. ::)
I switch the boiler back on
You do realise that having posted this the curse of the Ginger Shambles means your boiler is likely to pack up in the next week or so.. whistle:
-
I have boiler insurance angel1
Nod had been fiddling with the ON/OFF button while pissed noooo:
The hospital stuff starts in earnest this week noooo:
-
I have boiler insurance angel1
Nod had been fiddling with the ON/OFF button while pissed noooo:
The hospital stuff starts in earnest this week noooo:
Getting pissed was probably not such a poor choice really
-
Nod has been assigned a sort of personal nurse as part of his treatment. She is his main point of contact throughout
He reports she is young, kind and very pretty eyes: ::)
He met her briefly today and she enquired how he felt about his forthcoming treatment
Nod moaned about not liking hospitals (get used to it pal eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:) and reported he had only been in hospital ONCE when he was 5 to have his tonsils out.
She looked at her screen and said, "Except when you were circumcised at 18 mohths!"
Nod: eeek: redface:
-
Nod has been assigned a sort of personal nurse as part of his treatment. She is his main point of contact throughout
He reports she is young, kind and very pretty eyes: ::)
He met her briefly today and she enquired how he felt about his forthcoming treatment
Nod moaned about not liking hospitals (get used to it pal eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:) and reported he had only been in hospital ONCE when he was 5 to have his tonsils out.
She looked at her screen and said, "Except when you were circumcised at 18 mohths!"
Nod: eeek: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod has been assigned a sort of personal nurse as part of his treatment. She is his main point of contact throughout
He reports she is young, kind and very pretty eyes: ::)
He met her briefly today and she enquired how he felt about his forthcoming treatment
Nod moaned about not liking hospitals (get used to it pal eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:) and reported he had only been in hospital ONCE when he was 5 to have his tonsils out.
She looked at her screen and said, "Except when you were circumcised at 18 mohths!"
Nod: eeek: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod has been assigned a sort of personal nurse as part of his treatment. She is his main point of contact throughout
He reports she is young, kind and very pretty eyes: ::)
He met her briefly today and she enquired how he felt about his forthcoming treatment
Nod moaned about not liking hospitals (get used to it pal eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:) and reported he had only been in hospital ONCE when he was 5 to have his tonsils out.
She looked at her screen and said, "Except when you were circumcised at 18 mohths!"
Nod: eeek: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
We do have a top tips thread ;)
-
Nod has been assigned a sort of personal nurse as part of his treatment. She is his main point of contact throughout
He reports she is young, kind and very pretty eyes: ::)
He met her briefly today and she enquired how he felt about his forthcoming treatment
Nod moaned about not liking hospitals (get used to it pal eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:) and reported he had only been in hospital ONCE when he was 5 to have his tonsils out.
She looked at her screen and said, "Except when you were circumcised at 18 mohths!"
Nod: eeek: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
We do have a top tips thread ;)
drumroll:
-
Nod has been assigned a sort of personal nurse as part of his treatment. She is his main point of contact throughout
He reports she is young, kind and very pretty eyes: ::)
He met her briefly today and she enquired how he felt about his forthcoming treatment
Nod moaned about not liking hospitals (get used to it pal eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:) and reported he had only been in hospital ONCE when he was 5 to have his tonsils out.
She looked at her screen and said, "Except when you were circumcised at 18 mohths!"
Nod: eeek: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
We do have a top tips thread ;)
drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
-
Nod has been assigned a sort of personal nurse as part of his treatment. She is his main point of contact throughout
He reports she is young, kind and very pretty eyes: ::)
He met her briefly today and she enquired how he felt about his forthcoming treatment
Nod moaned about not liking hospitals (get used to it pal eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:) and reported he had only been in hospital ONCE when he was 5 to have his tonsils out.
She looked at her screen and said, "Except when you were circumcised at 18 mohths!"
Nod: eeek: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
We do have a top tips thread ;)
drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
-
Nod has a gardener who visits about twice a year. The gardener has heard about Nod's cancer treatment.
He comes round to do some gardening.
Nod is waiting for his car to the hospital
Gardener: Radiotherapy?
Nod: Yes
Gardener (laying hand on Nod's arm): Dear Lord, we love Nod and ask that you cast these demins from his bowels and send your love to your child Nod....etc. for about 3 minutes
Nod: Thanks, but I have to go
Gardener: But I haven't finished!!
Nod: I have to go
Gardener: That will be 40 quid
Nod leaves
-
Nod has a gardener who visits about twice a year. The gardener has heard about Nod's cancer treatment.
He comes round to do some gardening.
Nod is waiting for his car to the hospital
Gardener: Radiotherapy?
Nod: Yes
Gardener (laying hand on Nod's arm): Dear Lord, we love Nod and ask that you cast these demins from his bowels and send your love to your child Nod....etc. for about 3 minutes
Nod: Thanks, but I have to go
Gardener: But I haven't finished!!
Nod: I have to go
Gardener: That will be 40 quid
Nod leaves
happy001 evil:
-
Nod has a gardener who visits about twice a year. The gardener has heard about Nod's cancer treatment.
He comes round to do some gardening.
Nod is waiting for his car to the hospital
Gardener: Radiotherapy?
Nod: Yes
Gardener (laying hand on Nod's arm): Dear Lord, we love Nod and ask that you cast these demins from his bowels and send your love to your child Nod....etc. for about 3 minutes
Nod: Thanks, but I have to go
Gardener: But I haven't finished!!
Nod: I have to go
Gardener: That will be 40 quid
Nod leaves
happy001 evil:
eeek: happy001
-
Nod has a gardener who visits about twice a year. The gardener has heard about Nod's cancer treatment.
He comes round to do some gardening.
Nod is waiting for his car to the hospital
Gardener: Radiotherapy?
Nod: Yes
Gardener (laying hand on Nod's arm): Dear Lord, we love Nod and ask that you cast these demins from his bowels and send your love to your child Nod....etc. for about 3 minutes
Nod: Thanks, but I have to go
Gardener: But I haven't finished!!
Nod: I have to go
Gardener: That will be 40 quid
Nod leaves
happy001 evil:
eeek: happy001
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod has a gardener who visits about twice a year. The gardener has heard about Nod's cancer treatment.
He comes round to do some gardening.
Nod is waiting for his car to the hospital
Gardener: Radiotherapy?
Nod: Yes
Gardener (laying hand on Nod's arm): Dear Lord, we love Nod and ask that you cast these demins from his bowels and send your love to your child Nod....etc. for about 3 minutes
Nod: Thanks, but I have to go
Gardener: But I haven't finished!!
Nod: I have to go
Gardener: That will be 40 quid
Nod leaves
For a prayer ..... rubschin:
-
The gardening ::)
-
The gardening ::)
Oh... redface:
-
Nod has been assigned a sort of personal nurse as part of his treatment. She is his main point of contact throughout
He reports she is young, kind and very pretty eyes: ::)
He met her briefly today and she enquired how he felt about his forthcoming treatment
Nod moaned about not liking hospitals (get used to it pal eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:) and reported he had only been in hospital ONCE when he was 5 to have his tonsils out.
She looked at her screen and said, "Except when you were circumcised at 18 mohths!"
Nod: eeek: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
We do have a top tips thread ;)
drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
-
Nod has become convinced that his flat is being haunted by his mother ::)
Wanted to talk to me about my experience of exorcists.... ::)
-
Nod has become convinced that his flat is being haunted by his mother ::)
Wanted to talk to me about my experience of exorcists.... ::)
doh:
-
I have got experience of exorcists :thumbsup: (that was a day to remember scared2:)
-
I have got experience of exorcists :thumbsup: (that was a day to remember scared2:)
rubschin:
-
The poltergeist and the pipe smoker in the spare room just had to go!!
-
The poltergeist and the pipe smoker in the spare room just had to go!!
And the haunted phone! scared2:
-
redface:
-
I have got experience of exorcists :thumbsup: (that was a day to remember scared2:)
I believe Miss D has expertise of getting rid of spirits
scared:
-
I have got experience of exorcists :thumbsup: (that was a day to remember scared2:)
I believe Miss D has expertise of getting rid of spirits
scared:
drumroll:
-
I have got experience of exorcists :thumbsup: (that was a day to remember scared2:)
I believe Miss D has expertise of getting rid of spirits
scared:
drumroll:
And things that go bump in the night ....... rubschin:
-
Went round to Nod's to "help" him get signed up for an NHS Covid Pass. This involved him having his face scanned on his phone. He nearly had a meltdown ::)
This was followed by showing how to take a lateral flow test. Another meltdown ::)
But the best was yet to come.
Earlier this week some workmen came to lay new flooring in his hallway. They came back to check the job and Nod discovered they had managed to glue his front door shut. I left them to deal with the rage and further meltdown angel1
-
Went round to Nod's to "help" him get signed up for an NHS Covid Pass. This involved him having his face scanned on his phone. He nearly had a meltdown ::)
This was followed by showing how to take a lateral flow test. Another meltdown ::)
But the best was yet to come.
Earlier this week some workmen came to lay new flooring in his hallway. They came back to check the job and Nod discovered they had managed to glue his front door shut. I left them to deal with the rage and further meltdown angel1
happy001
-
Went round to Nod's to "help" him get signed up for an NHS Covid Pass. This involved him having his face scanned on his phone. He nearly had a meltdown ::)
This was followed by showing how to take a lateral flow test. Another meltdown ::)
But the best was yet to come.
Earlier this week some workmen came to lay new flooring in his hallway. They came back to check the job and Nod discovered they had managed to glue his front door shut. I left them to deal with the rage and further meltdown angel1
happy001
I shouldn't but happy001 happy001
-
Went round to Nod's to "help" him get signed up for an NHS Covid Pass. This involved him having his face scanned on his phone. He nearly had a meltdown ::)
This was followed by showing how to take a lateral flow test. Another meltdown ::)
But the best was yet to come.
Earlier this week some workmen came to lay new flooring in his hallway. They came back to check the job and Nod discovered they had managed to glue his front door shut. I left them to deal with the rage and further meltdown angel1
happy001
I shouldn't but happy001 happy001
I'll join you in shouldn'ting Steve happy001 happy001 happy001
-
I have got experience of exorcists :thumbsup: (that was a day to remember scared2:)
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/09/91/50/099150a20504e3ff5bde6ce93a6a4043.jpg)
whistle:
-
In a startling development, Nod tells me that he has been contacted by Woman's Hour who may want to interview him on air tomorrow morning! Shocked:
-
In a startling development, Nod tells me that he has been contacted by Woman's Hour who may want to interview him on air tomorrow morning! Shocked:
eeek:
-
In a startling development, Nod tells me that he has been contacted by Woman's Hour who may want to interview him on air tomorrow morning! Shocked:
eeek:
eeek: eeek:
-
In a startling development, Nod tells me that he has been contacted by Woman's Hour who may want to interview him on air tomorrow morning! Shocked:
eeek:
eeek: eeek:
rubschin:
-
He has a grudge against the Pope :thumbsup:
-
He has a grudge against the Pope :thumbsup:
So did Mehmet Ali Ağca........... eeek:
-
He has a grudge against the Pope :thumbsup:
So did Mehmet Ali Ağca........... eeek:
eeek:
-
He has a grudge against the Pope :thumbsup:
Popcorn:
-
Looks like Woman's Hour thought better of it noooo:
-
Looks like Woman's Hour thought better of it noooo:
Well, it is only an hour to be fair... whistle:
-
Looks like Woman's Hour thought better of it noooo:
Well, it is only an hour to be fair... whistle:
Thought it was blokes that extragrated......... rubschin:
-
I sometimes wonder how Nod made it beyond childhood!!
He came round yesterday and managed to get lost inside my one bedroom flat. He had entered a cupboard from which I heard him wailing noooo:
He had arrived by taxi. He called from the car park and asked for directions. "Turn left out of the car park and follow the path past the greenhouse and then you will see me." When it came time for him to leave via taxi I said to go past the greenhouse and turn right into the car park. "But I had to turn LEFT on the way in!", he wailed noooo:
He is off to meet his cousin in Shrewsbury next week (changing trains at New Street). What can possibly go wrong?
-
I sometimes wonder how Nod made it beyond childhood!!
He came round yesterday and managed to get lost inside my one bedroom flat. He had entered a cupboard from which I heard him wailing noooo:
He had arrived by taxi. He called from the car park and asked for directions. "Turn left out of the car park and follow the path past the greenhouse and then you will see me." When it came time for him to leave via taxi I said to go past the greenhouse and turn right into the car park. "But I had to turn LEFT on the way in!", he wailed noooo:
He is off to meet his cousin in Shrewsbury next week (changing trains at New Street). What can possibly go wrong?
lol: lol: lol: noooo:
-
I sometimes wonder how Nod made it beyond childhood!!
He came round yesterday and managed to get lost inside my one bedroom flat. He had entered a cupboard from which I heard him wailing noooo:
He had arrived by taxi. He called from the car park and asked for directions. "Turn left out of the car park and follow the path past the greenhouse and then you will see me." When it came time for him to leave via taxi I said to go past the greenhouse and turn right into the car park. "But I had to turn LEFT on the way in!", he wailed noooo:
He is off to meet his cousin in Shrewsbury next week (changing trains at New Street). What can possibly go wrong?
lol: lol: lol: noooo:
They do say like minds attract.. whistle:
-
I sometimes wonder how Nod made it beyond childhood!!
He came round yesterday and managed to get lost inside my one bedroom flat. He had entered a cupboard from which I heard him wailing noooo:
He had arrived by taxi. He called from the car park and asked for directions. "Turn left out of the car park and follow the path past the greenhouse and then you will see me." When it came time for him to leave via taxi I said to go past the greenhouse and turn right into the car park. "But I had to turn LEFT on the way in!", he wailed noooo:
He is off to meet his cousin in Shrewsbury next week (changing trains at New Street). What can possibly go wrong?
lol: lol: lol: noooo:
lol: lol: lol: lol: noooo:
-
I sometimes wonder how Nod made it beyond childhood!!
He came round yesterday and managed to get lost inside my one bedroom flat. He had entered a cupboard from which I heard him wailing noooo:
He had arrived by taxi. He called from the car park and asked for directions. "Turn left out of the car park and follow the path past the greenhouse and then you will see me." When it came time for him to leave via taxi I said to go past the greenhouse and turn right into the car park. "But I had to turn LEFT on the way in!", he wailed noooo:
He is off to meet his cousin in Shrewsbury next week (changing trains at New Street). What can possibly go wrong?
lol: lol: lol: noooo:
lol: lol: lol: lol: noooo:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: noooo:
-
SO Nod has been taken in hand by Macmillan Nurses who offer all manner of support to cancer patients
Hismain person is Rose who came round to assess his needs ::)
She noticed his phone and laptop and mentioned them, asking about his IT skills happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
Nod confessed that he was hopelessly incompetent in this field
Rose noted this and yesterday a Macmillan volunteer turned up to see Nod. He assumed she was there to help with shopping and cooking and welcomed her. She was interesting, Hong Kong Chinese doing a doctorate in IT at the university. NOd spent about an hour feeding her tea and biscuits and talking about HK and his shopping lists and showing her his kitchen cupbards
Finally she revealed she was his new regular IT tutor!!!
He said he had no need of this at which point she burst into tears, fled the house and called Rose in great distress noooo:
Nod has asked ME to call Rose to straighten out this misunderstanding! I told him to do it himself evil:
-
Just checking but did the nurse tell Nod she was arranging it beforehand? rubschin:
-
I suspect Nod may not have listened/understood or just been pissed
-
Nod calls
I want to watch the Leadership debate on C4
Yes?
My TV only goes to BBC1 as that is all I watch
Do you have a remote control?
Yes
Can you see some buttons with numbers on?
Yes
Is there a 4?
yes
Press it
Oooooooooooh, how do you know these things????!!
Banghead Banghead
-
Nod calls
I want to watch the Leadership debate on C4
Yes?
My TV only goes to BBC1 as that is all I watch
Do you have a remote control?
Yes
Can you see some buttons with numbers on?
Yes
Is there a 4?
yes
Press it
Oooooooooooh, how do you know these things????!!
Banghead Banghead
Nick I've said it once and I'll say it again, Nod is karma for what you put poor Growler through.. whistle:
-
Nod calls
I want to watch the Leadership debate on C4
Yes?
My TV only goes to BBC1 as that is all I watch
Do you have a remote control?
Yes
Can you see some buttons with numbers on?
Yes
Is there a 4?
yes
Press it
Oooooooooooh, how do you know these things????!!
Banghead Banghead
lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod calls
I want to watch the Leadership debate on C4
Yes?
My TV only goes to BBC1 as that is all I watch
Do you have a remote control?
Yes
Can you see some buttons with numbers on?
Yes
Is there a 4?
yes
Press it
Oooooooooooh, how do you know these things????!!
Banghead Banghead
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Nod calls
I want to watch the Leadership debate on C4
Yes?
My TV only goes to BBC1 as that is all I watch
Do you have a remote control?
Yes
Can you see some buttons with numbers on?
Yes
Is there a 4?
yes
Press it
Oooooooooooh, how do you know these things????!!
Banghead Banghead
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
-
Took Nod to the hospital for "fasting blood tests"
When he got back in the car he was starving but had brought an emergency Mars Bar which he promptly lost
He somehow managed to sit on it, burst the wrapping, melt it and get half of it on his jeans and half in my passenger seat Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
-
Took Nod to the hospital for "fasting blood tests"
When he got back in the car he was starving but had brought an emergency Mars Bar which he promptly lost
He somehow managed to sit on it, burst the wrapping, melt it and get half of it on his jeans and half in my passenger seat Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Work ,rest and play ... Thumbs:
-
Took Nod to the hospital for "fasting blood tests"
When he got back in the car he was starving but had brought an emergency Mars Bar which he promptly lost
He somehow managed to sit on it, burst the wrapping, melt it and get half of it on his jeans and half in my passenger seat Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
noooo:
-
Took Nod to the hospital for "fasting blood tests"
When he got back in the car he was starving but had brought an emergency Mars Bar which he promptly lost
He somehow managed to sit on it, burst the wrapping, melt it and get half of it on his jeans and half in my passenger seat Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
If Growler was still on here he'd probably call it carma... whistle:
-
Took Nod to the hospital for "fasting blood tests"
When he got back in the car he was starving but had brought an emergency Mars Bar which he promptly lost
He somehow managed to sit on it, burst the wrapping, melt it and get half of it on his jeans and half in my passenger seat Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
If Growler was still on here he'd probably call it carma... whistle:
Caramac...? rubschin:
-
Of course there is the possibility that Nod just shat himself and always carries an empty Mars bar wrapper with him for such cases
-
Well today I had to run him to the hospital so they can find out why he is bleeding out of his ARSE noooo:
-
Of course there is the possibility that Nod just shat himself and always carries an empty Mars bar wrapper with him for such cases
TOP Tip ...... Thumbs:
-
Well today I had to run him to the hospital so they can find out why he is bleeding out of his ARSE noooo:
noooo: noooo:
-
I pop into Nod's for a coffee
He complains that his TV has gone silent and he cannot adjust the volume
I get his TV remote and point out the + and - switch under that triangular symbol for volume
He tries it and it works
"How do you know these things?"
Banghead Banghead Banghead
-
noooo:
-
I pop into Nod's for a coffee
He complains that his TV has gone silent and he cannot adjust the volume
I get his TV remote and point out the + and - switch under that triangular symbol for volume
He tries it and it works
"How do you know these things?"
Banghead Banghead Banghead
lol: lol: lol:
Not long now Nick... noooo:
-
Yes, I have brought him to Brighton ::)
Nod finds supermarket trollies baffling. The pound coin bit defeats him.
Struggling to retrieve his pound this morning he was helped by an old lady who showed him how to do it. He thanked her and she used the pound coin to get her own trolley. Nod was let empty handed.
He paid an old lady a pound to get his pound back facepalm:
-
Yes, I have brought him to Brighton ::)
Nod finds supermarket trollies baffling. The pound coin bit defeats him.
Struggling to retrieve his pound this morning he was helped by an old lady who showed him how to do it. He thanked her and she used the pound coin to get her own trolley. Nod was let empty handed.
He paid an old lady a pound to get his pound back facepalm:
happy001
Who uses real money in those things anymore?
-
Yes, I have brought him to Brighton ::)
Nod finds supermarket trollies baffling. The pound coin bit defeats him.
Struggling to retrieve his pound this morning he was helped by an old lady who showed him how to do it. He thanked her and she used the pound coin to get her own trolley. Nod was let empty handed.
He paid an old lady a pound to get his pound back facepalm:
happy002
-
Yes, I have brought him to Brighton ::)
Nod finds supermarket trollies baffling. The pound coin bit defeats him.
Struggling to retrieve his pound this morning he was helped by an old lady who showed him how to do it. He thanked her and she used the pound coin to get her own trolley. Nod was let empty handed.
He paid an old lady a pound to get his pound back facepalm:
happy002
lol: lol:
-
Yes, I have brought him to Brighton ::)
Nod finds supermarket trollies baffling. The pound coin bit defeats him.
Struggling to retrieve his pound this morning he was helped by an old lady who showed him how to do it. He thanked her and she used the pound coin to get her own trolley. Nod was let empty handed.
He paid an old lady a pound to get his pound back facepalm:
happy002
lol: lol:
;D ;D rubschin:
-
I'm starting to wonder if Nod is actually fully capable but has long since discovered the joy of winding Nick up.. whistle:
-
Had to teach him how to use salt and pepper grinders last night Banghead Banghead
-
I rest my case whistle:
-
I rest my case whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Banghead Banghead Banghead
1. Nod had a collection of TV and DVD remote controls and could never locate the right one. I found the two he needed and advised him to throw the rest away
He threw away the two he needed Banghead Banghead Banghead
2. Today he needed to fill in an online form but first he had to register (local carncil). Site warned him he had 20 minutes to register. Site requried: Name. postcode, date of birth, email address
I said he had to do it
After 40 minutes or swearing and shouting I left noooo:
-
Banghead Banghead Banghead
1. Nod had a collection of TV and DVD remote controls and could never locate the right one. I found the two he needed and advised him to throw the rest away
He threw away the two he needed Banghead Banghead Banghead
2. Today he needed to fill in an online form but first he had to register (local carncil). Site warned him he had 20 minutes to register. Site requried: Name. postcode, date of birth, email address
I said he had to do it
After 40 minutes or swearing and shouting I left noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Banghead Banghead Banghead
1. Nod had a collection of TV and DVD remote controls and could never locate the right one. I found the two he needed and advised him to throw the rest away
He threw away the two he needed Banghead Banghead Banghead
2. Today he needed to fill in an online form but first he had to register (local carncil). Site warned him he had 20 minutes to register. Site requried: Name. postcode, date of birth, email address
I said he had to do it
After 40 minutes or swearing and shouting I left noooo:
noooo: noooo:
-
Helped Nod to order a load of stuff online from Amazon
It was scheduled for delivery yesterday
He says it never arrived and is now enraged and on the wrapath, accusing Amazon of stealing his money
I check his account. They tried to deliver it at 5.05 last night
I tell him this
"I didn't hear them cos I was asleep at that time."
Me: didn't you hear the doorbell?
"It doesn't work."
Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
-
noooo:
-
noooo: noooo:
-
Was meant to be taking Nod to the hospital for a scan tomorrow. He reports that he woke up with a rash and is now covered from head to foot in something that looks like chicken pox eeek:
Hospital has told him to stay away. I am doing likewise
-
Was meant to be taking Nod to the hospital for a scan tomorrow. He reports that he woke up with a rash and is now covered from head to foot in something that looks like chicken pox eeek:
Hospital has told him to stay away. I am doing likewise
eeek: noooo:
Poor Nod
-
Was meant to be taking Nod to the hospital for a scan tomorrow. He reports that he woke up with a rash and is now covered from head to foot in something that looks like chicken pox eeek:
Hospital has told him to stay away. I am doing likewise
eeek: noooo:
Poor Nod
Does he have any other symptoms. There have been an increasing number of Strep A cases lately. rubschin:
-
I suggested that. He has called 111
-
I suggested that. He has called 111
Well you hope he has. So many 3 digit combinations he might have tried instead
-
I suggested that. He has called 111
Well you hope he has. So many 3 digit combinations he might have tried instead
Sadly true noooo:
-
Was meant to be taking Nod to the hospital for a scan tomorrow. He reports that he woke up with a rash and is now covered from head to foot in something that looks like chicken pox eeek:
Hospital has told him to stay away. I am doing likewise
You don't think he might just have splashed something on his mirror...? rubschin:
-
Was meant to be taking Nod to the hospital for a scan tomorrow. He reports that he woke up with a rash and is now covered from head to foot in something that looks like chicken pox eeek:
Hospital has told him to stay away. I am doing likewise
You don't think he might just have splashed something on his mirror...? rubschin:
;D redface: noooo:
-
Nod has a new digital radio which also picks up FM (if tuned)
It seems he has accidentally switched it over to FM and now all it does is emit static
Nod now believes that his cancer treatment has made him radioactive and he is interfering with the radio reception facepalm:
I am going round later to switch it back to DAB Banghead
-
Nod has a new digital radio which also picks up FM (if tuned)
It seems he has accidentally switched it over to FM and now all it does is emit static
Nod now believes that his cancer treatment has made him radioactive and he is interfering with the radio reception facepalm:
I am going round later to switch it back to DAB Banghead
Simpler to just switch it off
-
Nod has a new digital radio which also picks up FM (if tuned)
It seems he has accidentally switched it over to FM and now all it does is emit static
Nod now believes that his cancer treatment has made him radioactive and he is interfering with the radio reception facepalm:
I am going round later to switch it back to DAB Banghead
Simpler to just switch it off
What, Nod...? rubschin:
-
Nod has a new digital radio which also picks up FM (if tuned)
It seems he has accidentally switched it over to FM and now all it does is emit static
Nod now believes that his cancer treatment has made him radioactive and he is interfering with the radio reception facepalm:
I am going round later to switch it back to DAB Banghead
Simpler to just switch it off
What, Nod...? rubschin:
lol:
-
Nod has a new digital radio which also picks up FM (if tuned)
It seems he has accidentally switched it over to FM and now all it does is emit static
Nod now believes that his cancer treatment has made him radioactive and he is interfering with the radio reception facepalm:
I am going round later to switch it back to DAB Banghead
Look on the bright side, you could have to explain something like ALEXA to him.. whistle:
-
Nod is no longer radioactive :thumbsup: ::)
-
Unfortunately the half life of Nick-o-rays is significantly longer.. scared2:
-
Nod is no longer radioactive :thumbsup: ::)
Until tomorrow when the cycle starts again?
-
Apparently the Today programme on R4 is looking for guest presenters in August. Nod has decided that me, him and the Vicar's Daughter should apply. facepalm:
He has drawn up an outline proposal.
I told him that this was a mad scheme and I was not interested. He now has the hump ::) He is approaching the JLVD separately. I have warned her noooo:
-
Apparently the Today programme on R4 is looking for guest presenters in August. Nod has decided that me, him and the Vicar's Daughter should apply. facepalm:
He has drawn up an outline proposal.
I told him that this was a mad scheme and I was not interested. He now has the hump ::) He is approaching the JLVD separately. I have warned her noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
I might actually listen to it... rubschin:
-
Apparently the Today programme on R4 is looking for guest presenters in August. Nod has decided that me, him and the Vicar's Daughter should apply. facepalm:
He has drawn up an outline proposal.
I told him that this was a mad scheme and I was not interested. He now has the hump ::) He is approaching the JLVD separately. I have warned her noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
I might actually listen to it... rubschin:
Me too but VP aside, the rest of the population would be :lalalala
-
Alexa noooo: Banghead Banghead
-
Alexa noooo: Banghead Banghead
lol: lol: lol: Popcorn:
-
I get home and find a plaintive text from Nod
"Please call asap. My phone has died."
whacky115
-
I get home and find a plaintive text from Nod
"Please call asap. My phone has died."
whacky115
lol: noooo:
-
A joint adventure :thumbsup:
In a discussion some months ago, Nod suggested he should introduce me to the joys of cricket. ::)
As a club member he has two tickets to see the Laydees' Ashes at Trent Bridge next week. I can hardly wait ::)
In retaliation exchange I am taking him to the ballet angel1 eveilgrin:
-
A joint adventure :thumbsup:
In a discussion some months ago, Nod suggested he should introduce me to the joys of cricket. ::)
As a club member he has two tickets to see the Laydees' Ashes at Trent Bridge next week. I can hardly wait ::)
In retaliation exchange I am taking him to the ballet angel1 eveilgrin:
The clue to enjoying attending such cricket is go prepared to drink a lot and do so.
-
A joint adventure :thumbsup:
In a discussion some months ago, Nod suggested he should introduce me to the joys of cricket. ::)
As a club member he has two tickets to see the Laydees' Ashes at Trent Bridge next week. I can hardly wait ::)
In retaliation exchange I am taking him to the ballet angel1 eveilgrin:
The clue to enjoying attending such cricket is go prepared to drink a lot and do so.
He is paying for a taxi and "lunch" rubschin: rubschin:
-
A joint adventure :thumbsup:
In a discussion some months ago, Nod suggested he should introduce me to the joys of cricket. ::)
As a club member he has two tickets to see the Laydees' Ashes at Trent Bridge next week. I can hardly wait ::)
In retaliation exchange I am taking him to the ballet angel1 eveilgrin:
The clue to enjoying attending such cricket is go prepared to drink a lot and do so.
He is paying for a taxi and "lunch" rubschin: rubschin:
So the pair of you are going to be inebriated and watching the cricket..... what's the worst that could happen? whistle:
-
A joint adventure :thumbsup:
In a discussion some months ago, Nod suggested he should introduce me to the joys of cricket. ::)
As a club member he has two tickets to see the Laydees' Ashes at Trent Bridge next week. I can hardly wait ::)
In retaliation exchange I am taking him to the ballet angel1 eveilgrin:
The clue to enjoying attending such cricket is go prepared to drink a lot and do so.
He is paying for a taxi and "lunch" rubschin: rubschin:
So the pair of you are going to be inebriated and watching the cricket..... what's the worst that could happen? whistle:
Laydee cricket :thumbsup: DO they wear shorts? Oh...............
-
A joint adventure :thumbsup:
In a discussion some months ago, Nod suggested he should introduce me to the joys of cricket. ::)
As a club member he has two tickets to see the Laydees' Ashes at Trent Bridge next week. I can hardly wait ::)
In retaliation exchange I am taking him to the ballet angel1 eveilgrin:
The clue to enjoying attending such cricket is go prepared to drink a lot and do so.
He is paying for a taxi and "lunch" rubschin: rubschin:
So the pair of you are going to be inebriated and watching the cricket..... what's the worst that could happen? whistle:
Laydee cricket :thumbsup: DO they wear shorts? Oh...............
All of a sudden I get the feeling there are going to be a number of red balls walloped by a cricked bat.. whistle:
-
A joint adventure :thumbsup:
In a discussion some months ago, Nod suggested he should introduce me to the joys of cricket. ::)
As a club member he has two tickets to see the Laydees' Ashes at Trent Bridge next week. I can hardly wait ::)
In retaliation exchange I am taking him to the ballet angel1 eveilgrin:
The clue to enjoying attending such cricket is go prepared to drink a lot and do so.
He is paying for a taxi and "lunch" rubschin: rubschin:
So the pair of you are going to be inebriated and watching the cricket..... what's the worst that could happen? whistle:
Laydee cricket :thumbsup: DO they wear shorts? Oh...............
All of a sudden I get the feeling there are going to be a number of red balls walloped by a cricked bat.. whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
-
evil:
-
So Nod takes Nick to see the cricket and Darth Vader gets booted out of Edgebaston. Just a coincidence I'm sure.. whistle:
(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/06/18/20/72270043-12208295-image-m-2_1687115754035.jpg)
Wonder if he was being a pitch in-vader redface:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12208295/Moment-Darth-Vader-hauled-Ashes-test-match-bemused-fans.html
-
So Nod takes Nick to see the cricket and Darth Vader gets booted out of Edgebaston. Just a coincidence I'm sure.. whistle:
(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/06/18/20/72270043-12208295-image-m-2_1687115754035.jpg)
Wonder if he was being a pitch in-vader redface:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12208295/Moment-Darth-Vader-hauled-Ashes-test-match-bemused-fans.html
drumroll:
-
So Nod takes Nick to see the cricket and Darth Vader gets booted out of Edgebaston. Just a coincidence I'm sure.. whistle:
(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/06/18/20/72270043-12208295-image-m-2_1687115754035.jpg)
Wonder if he was being a pitch in-vader redface:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12208295/Moment-Darth-Vader-hauled-Ashes-test-match-bemused-fans.html
drumroll:
I would have used the Umpire Strikes Back but I was beaten to it lol:
-
SO the last place you want to get diarrhoea is when you are stuck in a lift. noooo:
In a library noooo: noooo:
With another person in the lift noooo: noooo: noooo:
-
SO the last place you want to get diarrhoea is when you are stuck in a lift. noooo:
In a library noooo: noooo:
With another person in the lift noooo: noooo: noooo:
OMG! confused:
How about Nod tho...? rubschin:
-
SO the last place you want to get diarrhoea is when you are stuck in a lift. noooo:
In a library noooo: noooo:
With another person in the lift noooo: noooo: noooo:
noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
-
. . .
How about Nod tho...? rubschin:
lol:
-
Then there was the problem of the taxi home...
-
facepalm:
-
Oh dear
Nod’s cleaner has been having a tough time with her useless partner. Today she turned up unbidden and announced they had had a huge row and had decided to attack Nod’s oven with gloves, caustic soda and so on as a sort of therapy. She then had a heart attack!!
999, ambulance, Nod in meltdown
-
Oh dear
Nod’s cleaner has been having a tough time with her useless partner. Today she turned up unbidden and announced they had had a huge row and had decided to attack Nod’s oven with gloves, caustic soda and so on as a sort of therapy. She then had a heart attack!!
999, ambulance, Nod in meltdown
eeek:
-
eeek: eeek:
-
Nod asks if I like mushrooms. I do. He is wary of them.
Apparently his neighbour gave him a packet of “dried mushrooms “ for Christmas.
He brings them for me….
(https://i.postimg.cc/Q9Mz5T7d/5284-C882-97-A7-4-E24-831-E-3-FED79-D836-E4.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/Q9Mz5T7d)
(https://i.postimg.cc/c6rjLfZD/EA36-D09-E-E4-FA-45-AF-8-D7-A-E08-A211-F489-D.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/c6rjLfZD)
facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:
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eeek: eeek:
eeek: eeek: eeek:
Popcorn:
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Nod asks if I like mushrooms. I do. He is wary of them.
Apparently his neighbour gave him a packet of “dried mushrooms “ for Christmas.
He brings them for me….
(https://i.postimg.cc/Q9Mz5T7d/5284-C882-97-A7-4-E24-831-E-3-FED79-D836-E4.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/Q9Mz5T7d)
(https://i.postimg.cc/c6rjLfZD/EA36-D09-E-E4-FA-45-AF-8-D7-A-E08-A211-F489-D.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/c6rjLfZD)
facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:
lol: Those 'mushrooms' look magic
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Nod asks if I like mushrooms. I do. He is wary of them.
Apparently his neighbour gave him a packet of “dried mushrooms “ for Christmas.
He brings them for me….
(https://i.postimg.cc/Q9Mz5T7d/5284-C882-97-A7-4-E24-831-E-3-FED79-D836-E4.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/Q9Mz5T7d)
(https://i.postimg.cc/c6rjLfZD/EA36-D09-E-E4-FA-45-AF-8-D7-A-E08-A211-F489-D.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/c6rjLfZD)
facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:
lol: lol: lol:
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Nod requests a visit to help resolve a problem.
I go round. A friend gave him a small freezer when he came out of hospital. He shows it to me and opens the door.
“There is a lot of ice inside it.”
“It’s a freezer.”
“Can you defrost it?”
“Not yet.”
“How can I defrost it?”
“Switch it off and open the door.”
“How do you know these things?”
noooo:
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Nod requests a visit to help resolve a problem.
I go round. A friend gave him a small freezer when he came out of hospital. He shows it to me and opens the door.
“There is a lot of ice inside it.”
“It’s a freezer.”
“Can you defrost it?”
“Not yet.”
“How can I defrost it?”
“Switch it off and open the door.”
“How do you know these things?”
noooo:
lol:
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Nod requests a visit to help resolve a problem.
I go round. A friend gave him a small freezer when he came out of hospital. He shows it to me and opens the door.
“There is a lot of ice inside it.”
“It’s a freezer.”
“Can you defrost it?”
“Not yet.”
“How can I defrost it?”
“Switch it off and open the door.”
“How do you know these things?”
noooo:
lol:
I know I've said this ebfore but I firmly believe that Nod is karma for all the times you drove poor Growler up the wall lol:
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evil:
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Nod requests a visit to help resolve a problem.
I go round. A friend gave him a small freezer when he came out of hospital. He shows it to me and opens the door.
“There is a lot of ice inside it.”
“It’s a freezer.”
“Can you defrost it?”
“Not yet.”
“How can I defrost it?”
“Switch it off and open the door.”
“How do you know these things?”
noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
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For a long time Nod has complained about his trouser and coat pockets wearing out. He also struggles to get into his house.
Yesterday he asked if I could remove his front and back door keys from his keyring and then dispose of the rest.
It turns out that he has kept EVERY KEY he has ever had - university, flats, houses, schools, parents houses, everything eeek:
No wonder his pockets wore out!
(https://i.postimg.cc/QF0QzwJH/IMG-2045.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QF0QzwJH)
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eeek:
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For a long time Nod has complained about his trouser and coat pockets wearing out. He also struggles to get into his house.
Yesterday he asked if I could remove his front and back door keys from his keyring and then dispose of the rest.
It turns out that he has kept EVERY KEY he has ever had - university, flats, houses, schools, parents houses, everything eeek:
No wonder his pockets wore out!
(https://i.postimg.cc/QF0QzwJH/IMG-2045.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QF0QzwJH)
Awwww... Did he want to be a prison officer when he was a boy...? lol:
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He could get a few of these Thumbs:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Spigen-Holder-Keyring-Locking-Keyrings/dp/B0B4TBJ2PY/ref=pd_day0fbt_d_sccl_1/261-8283076-4923145?pd_rd_w=r6WPV&content-id=amzn1.sym.aa5f0976-1480-46a8-ac3e-86a6a439835e&pf_rd_p=aa5f0976-1480-46a8-ac3e-86a6a439835e&pf_rd_r=26CJJDVMYGGHNSYVE2HB&pd_rd_wg=9Lcw2&pd_rd_r=be7333c9-65f4-4b0b-95a7-c29ab70b31be&pd_rd_i=B0B4TBJ2PY&psc=1
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I chucked them in the Trent for the delight of future archaeologists angel1
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I chucked them in the Trent for the delight of future archaeologists angel1
It was here on the bank of the River Trent in 2024 that the mythical figure known as the Ginger Shambles is said to have lost what turned out to be some of the most important keys in the country...
whistle:
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angel1
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I chucked them in the Trent for the delight of future archaeologists angel1
It was here on the bank of the River Trent in 2024 that the mythical figure known as the Ginger Shambles is said to have lost what turned out to be some of the most important keys in the country...
whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
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His boiler has blown up noooo:
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It also fused all his electrics noooo: noooo:
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It also fused all his electrics noooo: noooo:
Oh gawd... facepalm:
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It also fused all his electrics noooo: noooo:
Oh gawd... facepalm:
doublefacepalm noooo:
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Kindly told Nod he could come round to my place for a shower or bath angel1 angel1
This he did earlier.
I heard screaming.
Seems my hot water has also packed up Banghead
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Kindly told Nod he could come round to my place for a shower or bath angel1 angel1
This he did earlier.
I heard screaming.
Seems my hot water has also packed up Banghead
Must not laugh
Must not laugh
Must not laugh
happy002 happy002 happy002
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Kindly told Nod he could come round to my place for a shower or bath angel1 angel1
This he did earlier.
I heard screaming.
Seems my hot water has also packed up Banghead
RIP Mr. Boiler... sad24:
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doublefacepalm noooo: noooo: noooo:
An earworm from the Hollies comes to mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWh0DOAfc7A
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evil:
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In olden days we had the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, now we have Nick, Nod and Baldymort. The triplets of total catastrophe. scared2:
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Well! Nod and I had some adventures in Spain pre pandemic and he particularly liked Granada.
Anticipating his demise he suddenly declared that he wishes to return to Granada once more before he dies. If I book flights, trains/cars and accommodation he will pay for the entire trip.
What can possibly go wrong?
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Well! Nod and I had some adventures in Spain pre pandemic and he particularly liked Granada.
Anticipating his demise he suddenly declared that he wishes to return to Granada once more before he dies. If I book flights, trains/cars and accommodation he will pay for the entire trip.
What can possibly go wrong?
Thumbs:
https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g187069-d3547989-Reviews-Granada_Studios-Manchester_Greater_Manchester_England.html
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Well! Nod and I had some adventures in Spain pre pandemic and he particularly liked Granada.
Anticipating his demise he suddenly declared that he wishes to return to Granada once more before he dies. If I book flights, trains/cars and accommodation he will pay for the entire trip.
What can possibly go wrong?
facepalm:
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Well! Nod and I had some adventures in Spain pre pandemic and he particularly liked Granada.
Anticipating his demise he suddenly declared that he wishes to return to Granada once more before he dies. If I book flights, trains/cars and accommodation he will pay for the entire trip.
What can possibly go wrong?
He needs hospital treatment when he's there?
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Well! Nod and I had some adventures in Spain pre pandemic and he particularly liked Granada.
Anticipating his demise he suddenly declared that he wishes to return to Granada once more before he dies. If I book flights, trains/cars and accommodation he will pay for the entire trip.
What can possibly go wrong?
Just don't forget the difference between Grenada and Granada when you go online or you could end up booking an entire plane to the Caribbean whistle:
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Nod: Do you want these salmon fillets? They are approaching their sell by date.
Me: Thanks. Um, they are frozen and it seems you bought them about a week ago.
Nod: Yes, but they are near their expiration date.
Me: Bit they are from your FREEZER! They are frozen!
Nod: Yes, but they are nearly out of date.
Me: Do you know what freezers do?
Nod: ?
Banghead
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Nod: Do you want these salmon fillets? They are approaching their sell by date.
Me: Thanks. Um, they are frozen and it seems you bought them about a week ago.
Nod: Yes, but they are near their expiration date.
Me: Bit they are from your FREEZER! They are frozen!
Nod: Yes, but they are nearly out of date.
Me: Do you know what freezers do?
Nod: ?
Banghead
noooo:
-
Nod: Do you want these salmon fillets? They are approaching their sell by date.
Me: Thanks. Um, they are frozen and it seems you bought them about a week ago.
Nod: Yes, but they are near their expiration date.
Me: Bit they are from your FREEZER! They are frozen!
Nod: Yes, but they are nearly out of date.
Me: Do you know what freezers do?
Nod: ?
Banghead
lol: lol: lol: