The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Library => Topic started by: Nick on January 03, 2018, 05:16:29 PM

Title: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2018, 05:16:29 PM
For some reason, I always get asked to read at weddings and funerals (like Snoopy's  sad24: ) and often get asked to choose something to read. I have another one coming up  ::) and was offered various horridly cheesy options or to choose something else. I chose something else  angel1  The bride and groom love it  cloud9:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Steve on January 03, 2018, 06:40:52 PM
Popcorn:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2018, 06:42:38 PM
Wot?
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 03, 2018, 08:46:31 PM
The comprehensive guide to successful relationships....by Dr Nick  lol:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Barman on January 03, 2018, 09:02:36 PM
The comprehensive guide to successful relationships....by Dr Nick  lol:

happy001
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: apc2010 on January 04, 2018, 01:54:48 AM
For some reason, I always get asked to read at weddings and funerals (like Snoopy's  sad24: ) and often get asked to choose something to read. I have another one coming up  ::) and was offered various horridly cheesy options or to choose something else. I chose something else  angel1  The bride and groom love it  cloud9:

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on January 04, 2018, 08:03:00 AM
The comprehensive guide to successful relationships....by Dr Nick  lol:

 Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 04, 2018, 11:40:34 PM
The comprehensive guide to successful relationships....by Dr Nick  lol:

 Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
point:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 06, 2018, 09:19:26 AM
The comprehensive guide to successful relationships....by Dr Nick  lol:

http://youtu.be/YlmECL2ED2I (http://youtu.be/YlmECL2ED2I)

 whistle:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on January 06, 2018, 03:32:25 PM
Anyhoo, it's rather good, especially if you like inserting macabre jokes into weddings  eveilgrin:

Let me put it this way:

if you came to lay

your sleeping head

against my arm or sleeve,

and if my arm went dead,

or if I had to take my leave

at midnight, I should rather

cleave it from the joint or seam

than make a scene

or bring you round.

There,

how does that sound?
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Barman on January 06, 2018, 03:46:27 PM
Anyhoo, it's rather good, especially if you like inserting macabre jokes into weddings  eveilgrin:

Let me put it this way:

if you came to lay

your sleeping head

against my arm or sleeve,

and if my arm went dead,

or if I had to take my leave

at midnight, I should rather

cleave it from the joint or seam

than make a scene

or bring you round.

There,

how does that sound?

Shite.
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on January 06, 2018, 03:47:05 PM
The Bard of Bog Street Comp speaks  ::)
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 06, 2018, 07:47:35 PM
Is the wedding to an amputee??? noooo:

Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on January 06, 2018, 07:54:28 PM
 eveilgrin: eveilgrin:

Not everyone gets it  whistle:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 06, 2018, 08:41:11 PM
Useful then if it's a speech at a wedding  noooo:

Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: apc2010 on January 06, 2018, 08:45:19 PM
eveilgrin: eveilgrin:

Not everyone gets it  whistle:

Double pun ........... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on January 06, 2018, 08:46:35 PM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Steve on January 06, 2018, 09:00:14 PM
Anyhoo, it's rather good, especially if you like inserting macabre jokes into weddings  eveilgrin:

Let me put it this way:

if you came to lay

your sleeping head

against my arm or sleeve,

and if my arm went dead,

or if I had to take my leave

at midnight, I should rather

cleave it from the joint or seam

than make a scene

or bring you round.

There,

how does that sound?

Shite.
Exactly
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2018, 06:08:29 PM
I despair of engineers  noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 07, 2018, 09:34:12 PM
eveilgrin: eveilgrin:

Not everyone gets it  whistle:

Double pun ...ishment Thumbs:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 11:59:32 AM
Inexplicably, the happy couple now want me to read a poem about PENGUINS! Shrugs:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Steve on February 06, 2018, 12:41:59 PM
Inexplicably, the happy couple now want me to read a poem about PENGUINS! Shrugs:
You could put a line in about smelling like fish
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 12:46:13 PM
 Spank2:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 06, 2018, 03:35:54 PM
Inexplicably, the happy couple now want me to read a poem about PENGUINS! Shrugs:
"Other chocolate biscuits are also available"
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2018, 04:27:31 PM
Inexplicably, the happy couple now want me to read a poem about PENGUINS! Shrugs:
"Other chocolate biscuits are also available"

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Steve on February 06, 2018, 04:58:19 PM
Inexplicably, the happy couple now want me to read a poem about PENGUINS! Shrugs:
"Other chocolate biscuits are also available"

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 06, 2018, 07:03:01 PM
Inexplicably, the happy couple now want me to read a poem about PENGUINS! Shrugs:

Is it because the male penguin will spend years frozen out ???
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 07:04:55 PM
Speak for yerself. I manage to keep my pecker up  angel1
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 06, 2018, 08:45:26 PM
Speak for yerself. I manage to keep my pecker up  angel1

http://youtu.be/jxRokRZyL8w (http://youtu.be/jxRokRZyL8w)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 08:48:39 PM
 ::)

Miss I will soon be here to warm me up  cloud9:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 06, 2018, 09:14:26 PM
Yep ...feel that burn again  lol:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 09:15:50 PM
 cloud9: eyes:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Steve on February 06, 2018, 09:58:19 PM
::)

Miss I will soon be here to warm me up  cloud9:
:thumbsup:

And Penny?
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on February 07, 2018, 08:10:14 AM
Oh noes  noooo:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Barman on February 07, 2018, 08:23:50 AM
::)

Miss I will soon be here to warm me up  cloud9:
:thumbsup:

And Penny?

Penny Cillin...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on February 07, 2018, 08:24:16 AM
 ::)
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: apc2010 on February 07, 2018, 09:35:32 AM
::)

Miss I will soon be here to warm me up  cloud9:
:thumbsup:

And Penny?

Penny Cillin...?  rubschin:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on February 07, 2018, 09:47:11 AM
 ::) ::)
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 07, 2018, 09:58:51 AM
::)

Miss I will soon be here to warm me up  cloud9:
:thumbsup:

And Penny?

Penny Cillin...?  rubschin:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on February 07, 2018, 09:59:56 AM
 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 08, 2018, 09:06:54 AM
::) ::) ::)

Is that a side effect or do you need Specsaviours?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Uncle Mort on February 08, 2018, 11:45:01 AM
::) ::) ::)

Is that a side effect or do you need Specsaviours?  rubschin:

Is that the Salvation Army branch?
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Steve on February 08, 2018, 11:48:05 AM
::) ::) ::)

Is that a side effect or do you need Specsaviours?  rubschin:

Is that the Salvation Army branch?
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Nick on February 08, 2018, 11:48:32 AM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: apc2010 on February 08, 2018, 11:55:14 AM
::) ::) ::)

Is that a side effect or do you need Specsaviours?  rubschin:

Is that the Salvation Army branch?

 drumroll: ;D
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 08, 2018, 04:39:11 PM
::) ::) ::)

Is that a side effect or do you need Specsaviours?  rubschin:

Is that the Salvation Army branch?

 drumroll: ;D
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Weddings and funerals
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 09, 2018, 08:59:33 AM
::) ::) ::)

Is that a side effect or do you need Specsaviours?  rubschin:

Is that the Salvation Army branch?

 drumroll: ;D
drumroll: drumroll:

drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: