The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on September 19, 2007, 01:30:18 PM
-
He is worryingly quiet scared2:
And the Cats want to visit the Swamp soon. They may have to bring flowers noooo:
-
I reckon Mrs. G had a look in here and he's been for the chop!
-
Maybe he's frightened of cats? rubschin:
-
Rightly so. Anyway, I see he is browsing around now in that lumbering way of his.........
-
He has given Mrs G what for and is now in fear of the consequences.
-
You lot don't half talk SOME shite if you don't mind me saying so. ::)
Just been sorting out my latest new 'feature' for The Swamp.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi27.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fc172%2Fb0nz0%2Fthedonkey.jpg&hash=cccf1429a265b84da7268712551f6c454d23ef9d)
-
You have a donkey!!
I am on the way. I like donkeys
-
Ohhhh donkey!!!
-
My turn first!
-
Make sure you fit 'Donkey' Bars to your 4x4s ;)
-
Carrrm down, eeek: I was only messin'. redface:
'T is actually a plan though. rubschin:
-
Excellent plan. We could go halves!
What do donkeys cost? rubschin:
I have never seen one in a petshop, though I did meet one in a bar in Spain once.
Long story.
-
Excellent plan. We could go halves!
What do donkeys cost? rubschin:
Nor'a lot.
Could be a source of GREAT entertainment, but the crocodile will have to be tethered.
Mooching over a couple of sheeps too. rubschin:
-
Excellent plan. We could go halves!
What do donkeys cost? rubschin:
I have never seen one in a petshop, though I did meet one in a bar in Spain once.
Long story.
Do you want the eating half or the shitting half?
-
SHeeps are very cheap. Jenny might have a donkey supplier............
-
Excellent plan. We could go halves!
What do donkeys cost? rubschin:
I have never seen one in a petshop, though I did meet one in a bar in Spain once.
Long story.
Do you want the eating half or the shitting half?
We could split longitudinally, obviously. Winter quarters might be a problem. Come to think of it, not. I know a man!
-
SHeeps are very cheap. Jenny might have a donkey supplier............
Fetchin' about 50 snotters at the auction. Need a vet to get one on the ramp to give it a good looking at first though. Don't want any dodgy 'cut n shut jobbies. noooo:
-
SHeeps are very cheap. Jenny might have a donkey supplier............
Fetchin' about 50 snotters at the auction. Need a vet to get one on the ramp to give it a good looking at first though. Don't want any dodgy 'cut n shut jobbies. noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Buy a lamb then and feed it up!
-
Buy a lamb then and feed it up!
Only lamb you can buy at the mo is at the butchers ffs. ::)
Mint sauce extra.
-
Wait till spring?
ANd plant mint and stuff on the Swamp?
-
Wait till spring?
ANd plant mint and stuff on the Swamp?
Did I ever tell you about my 'James Herriot' moment regarding a sheeps at 'The Swamp' back in February? whistle:
-
No. Go on!
-
No. Go on!
Heard this bleating noise from 'The Pond' at 'The Swamp.
Went over, and there was this useless sheeps all tangled up in the brambles....well stuck.
Shot down the farm and grabbed a trainee vet, who came back with me armed with a Stanley knife and scissors. eeek:
She held it by the 'orns...BIG 'orns too...while I struggled like a twat sheep shearing with said scissors and Stanley knife.
The beast was kicking and bleating non stop, and when I finally got it released, it simply did a runner without so much as a thank you, kiss my arse. evil: Bastard. evil:
Got meself well covered in thorns, cuts n bruises too, ungrateful munter.
The vet was a BIGGGG girl, and smelt of animals too.
-
And you still want to buy sheep. We rent a house to those girl vets. They are a bit whiffy after a day on the farm.
Come to think of it I may even know the lady vet to whom you refer eyes:
-
And you still want to buy sheep. We rent a house to those girl vets. They are a bit whiffy after a day on the farm.
Come to think of it I may even know the lady vet to whom you refer eyes:
I'd have to keep it clipped, and shift the brambles.
Donkey is favourite though.
I'll make some enquiries about purchasing one from the donkey sanctuary down the road. happy088
I'm werkin' next door to it later.
-
That had crossed my mind too, but the guy who runs that place is nuts. Haven 't you met him?
-
That had crossed my mind too, but the guy who runs that place is nuts. Haven 't you met him?
No, but if he's a nutter, then I'll be in good company....knowing you has helped enormously too. whistle:
-
rubschin:
-
rubschin:
Yes? And?
-
Que?
And I know a man who runs an abbatoir. There could be money in this (not on the donkey front, obviously)
-
Que?
And I know a man who runs an abbatoir. There could be money in this (not on the donkey front, obviously)
You seem to know may people that do many randomy type things don't you? rubschin:
-
I can show it to you. It's a bit unofficial.
House with garden and swings (sheep graze lawn)
Shed: holding pen
Room with no windows (sound of knives and some bleating)
Big freezer room
Truck with bloodied fleeces for rug/coat making etc
It's about a 100 yards from my house!
-
I can show it to you. It's a bit unofficial.
House with garden and swings (sheep graze lawn)
Shed: holding pen
Room with no windows (sound of knives and some bleating)
Big freezer room
Truck with bloodied fleeces for rug/coat making etc
It's about a 100 yards from my house!
Your village holds NO suprises. Full of nutters.
Did you see that Michael Palin priogramme the other night, with the sheeps that was sent for sacrifice.
NOT a pretty sight. eeek:
-
More to the point did you see the edition of "Coast" that featured a mole struggling to get to Nick's house?
-
Well I weasn't thinking of starting a new religion, but we could sell shares in the donkey. It could become the pub donkey. We could have a theme night. That is what my Donkeyophile thread is designed (cunningly) to flush out.
-
More to the point did you see the edition of "Coast" that featured a mole struggling to get to Nick's house?
Really? Where can that be found then?
PS. He never made it!
-
More to the point did you see the edition of "Coast" that featured a mole struggling to get to Nick's house?
Really? Where can that be found then?
PS. He never made it!
It was on last night (on one of the repeat channels) ~ All about the stretch of coast from the Orme to Liverpool. Your place (ie the village that I shall not name) featured and the twice yearly extra high tide that turns all that grass/marsh into water. They showed many of the animals that are drawn to it and also some that live there struggling to get away from the advancing tides. There were a number of shots of a bedraggled mole making it's way out of the water and up onto the safety of the roadway just along from where you live. If you have Sky then no doubt you will be able to catch it again soon ::)
-
We don't have Sky. I shall try online. Ta
-
We don't have Sky. I shall try online. Ta
Online what?
Missed it meself. cry: Good show that.
I'm quite serious about the donkey thing you know. It has been discussed at board room level.
with the GROWLERS whilst having tea at the table the other night
-
I shall just go for the donkey and tell Mrs Nick at some later date. It's the way we do things. I shall just have to stock up on carrots in the meantime. She'll never guess.
Wonder if Miss Netball Kit likes donkeys?
Great chat up line, "Would you like to see my donkey?" eyes:
SHe might go for that!
-
There are just too many jokes in there for me to even start. whistle:
-
I was serious!
-
I was serious!
I realise that but dangling the carrot of showing her your "donkey" just beggars belief ~ just consider yourself lucky DS didn't catch it.
-
dangling the carrot
eeek:
Wash your mouth out. Miss Netball Kit is, er, fragrant and pure
-
There are just too many jokes in there for me to even start. whistle:
You WON'T be laughin' when WE'VE got a donkey, and you haven't. point:
Apart from keeping the grass down, I could organise donkey rides like Blackpool beach has. rubschin:
'The Sawmp' donkey rides. rubschin:
Got a nice ring to it that. happy088
Another first in Wirral. drumroll:
Will it need a shelter thing, and a trough, and are they fairly low maintainence like I've been led to believe?
-
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
We want a PUB DONKEY cloud9:
-
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
We want a PUB DONKEY cloud9:
Apart from grass, what do they eat?
Better ask the boss man too I suppose, and will you be able to 'look after it' when i go away next month?
What'll Mrs Nick say, when you say you are just nippin' out to feed the donkey?
-
Which may well involve further insurance and a long conversation with (a) your landlord and (b) your local authority over licences etc. Proceed with caution ~ it's a grand idea but there will be hoops to be jumped through. Contrary to popular myth this is not a free country.
-
Which may well involve further insurance and a long conversation with (a) your landlord and (b) your local authority over licences etc. Proceed with caution ~ it's a grand idea but there will be hoops to be jumped through. Contrary to popular myth this is not a free country.
Stuff the rides then, I'll simply start up a 'sponsor the donkey.'
-
Caring for your donkey
http://www.wikihow.com/Care-for-a-Donkey
Donkeys put on weight easily, so be careful with the treats. Carrots are ideal as are vegetable scraps (exclusive of green potatoes), and the odd filling-free cookie is okay. Check with your vet about dietary supplements; these may be recommended depending on the soil type, etc. of your particular region. A salt/mineral licking-block can be helpful but check with your vet first.
Hay ? early season cut hay is the most nutritious. Donkeys adore hay but they should be encouraged to eat pasture most of the time except when it is winter or they have dental problems.
Chaff ? a mixture of grass, straw finely cut; some chaff has molasses added, giving it a very distinctive odour, especially after it is chewed! If you can afford chaff with additions that target hooves, coats, etc., you may want to investigate the options available. Chaff tends to be suitable for older donkeys with teeth troubles, convalescing donkeys and nursing donkeys.
Freeze-dried grass ? make sure it is pesticide-free and never feed a donkey grass clippings as the type of grass may be harmful to the donkey.
Protein pellets/cubes? these pre-made pellets contain essential nutrients; they're useful for nursing mothers with foals or for donkeys living through very cold winters that might need a boost. Otherwise, this feed is too rich for everyday purposes. ???Never??? substitute with pellets meant for a different animal (e.g. poultry pellets); some pellets contain meat and this is poisonous to donkeys.
Mixture of oats, oat bran and corn. Don?t give the oats alone ? these are too rich for a donkey; make sure that you mix the three products and don?t give more than a handful of this every day.
Mmmm, carrots!Carrots?- what ungulate (hoofed animal) doesn?t love a carrot?!--and other donkey-appropriate food for your region (ask your veterinarian or local feed stockist).
So basically it is the same as looking after a horse that is out to pasture and not working.
-
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
We want a PUB DONKEY cloud9:
Apart from grass, what do they eat?
Better ask the boss man too I suppose, and will you be able to 'look after it' when i go away next month?
What'll Mrs Nick say, when you say you are just nippin' out to feed the donkey?
Carrots
-
Which may well involve further insurance and a long conversation with (a) your landlord and (b) your local authority over licences etc. Proceed with caution ~ it's a grand idea but there will be hoops to be jumped through. Contrary to popular myth this is not a free country.
Stuff the rides then, I'll simply start up a 'sponsor the donkey.'
rubschin: HM Inland Revenue, Charity Commissioners, RSPCA ~ Oh dear. I'm only saying think it through.
Best way is have a donkey that the kids can see, feed and pet ~ much like having a pony in a field really but if money is involved somebody, somewhere will have a "rule" and want a share. You could try offering a Donkey Sanctuary a place to put their collection tin. Then they deal with the Charity Commissioners etc.
-
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
WE WANT A DONKEY
We want a PUB DONKEY cloud9:
Apart from grass, what do they eat?
Better ask the boss man too I suppose, and will you be able to 'look after it' when i go away next month?
What'll Mrs Nick say, when you say you are just nippin' out to feed the donkey?
Carrots
Pellets and oats too. Big bags of carrots are cheap enough from the horse/donkey shop iirc.
-
Which may well involve further insurance and a long conversation with (a) your landlord and (b) your local authority over licences etc. Proceed with caution ~ it's a grand idea but there will be hoops to be jumped through. Contrary to popular myth this is not a free country.
Stuff the rides then, I'll simply start up a 'sponsor the donkey.'
rubschin: HM Inland Revenue, Charity Commissioners, RSPCA ~ Oh dear. I'm only saying think it through.
Best way is have a donkey that the kids can see, feed and pet ~ much like having a pony in a field really but if money is involved somebody, somewhere will have a "rule" and want a share. You could try offering a Donkey Sanctuary a place to put their collection tin. Then they deal with the Charity Commissioners etc.
Stuff that then. They get enough out of me already. evil:
Tourist attraction only. Come stroke and feed the donkey and put a quid in the 'charity tin'
-
Back to the idiot at the Pony Sanctuary then. I think Jenny may have a spare donkey that we could rent!!
Rent-A-Donkey? The world has gone mad!
-
Back to the idiot at the Pony Sanctuary then. I think Jenny may have a spare donkey that we could rent!!
Rent-A-Donkey? The world has gone mad!
Do you know that female Donkey's are known as Jennies?
-
You can't feed a donkey on just carrots! eeek:
-
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=1438.msg26877#msg26877
I can't be bothered to say it twice.
-
You can't feed a donkey on just carrots! eeek:
Advice welcome, this is getting serious.
I have named him already.
And yes, Growler, Mr Norks will need a trough.
-
What if He is a She?
-
We have discussed testicle counting already. 2. Do keep up!
-
Back to the idiot at the Pony Sanctuary then. I think Jenny may have a spare donkey that we could rent!!
Rent-A-Donkey? The world has gone mad!
Just tried ringing them to discuss this AND other things, but it's that bloody answer phone yet again. ::)
Wonder if the name 'GROWLER' comes up on his phone, so he automatically ignores it? rubschin:
-
He's nuts!
Have you not been to their Open Days? Give him a microphone and a PA system and that's it for about 7 hours. Frightful man.
-
He's nuts!
Aren't we all 'round 'ere?
Must be the bloody water. ::)
-
Speak for yerself
-
Why can't we call the Pub Donkey "Quixote"?
Quick witticism for the educated
-
Pun. Mr Norks it is!
-
Why can't we call the Pub Donkey "Quixote"?
lol: lol: lol:
-
Want to buy an arse?
?1
-
Want to buy an arse?
?1
How would Mrs. Nick manage without you?
-
evil:
-
evil:
point:
-
Smiley donkey face. ?60.
You know you deserve it.
-
I think a pub donkey would be most entertaining.
Mr Snoopy and I have seen some interesting stage shows abroad, starring these fine creatures.
-
Smiley donkey face. ?60.
You know you deserve it.
Yes but you could buy a lot of tat for ?60. rubschin:
-
DONKEY!
Life, just not for Xmas
-
DONKEY!
Life, just not for Xmas
Ahh but you see tat is a year round responsibility.
-
cussing:
Donkey shares, going!