The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on September 24, 2007, 08:21:31 AM
-
Usual faffing marathon. 8.20 the bin lorry arrives and gets stuck in the lane by our house. Mrs Nick informs me that I should move my car to let it past. Off I go. Binman says, "Oh no, your car is fine. It's that red one that''s the problem." It's Mrs Nick's car oddly parked.
I ask her for the keys. Huge and futile hunt ensues. I eventually find them under a cushion (why?) cussing:
Off I go to move her car and notice that there is a long scrape along its side. eeek:
Inform binman, who denies it and then go and inform her. As I left for school with The Boy she was out in the road in pyjamas ( eeek:) waving her arms about and shouting. Next door's overchatty decorator (curse him) was joining in. Now that I am back I see that the bin man has fled the area (evidence: all bins beyond our house uncollected) folliwing his encounter with Mrs Nick scared2:.
She is still ranting and I have been handed the phone to field the calls from the council.
Now she informs me that overchatty decorator will be doing some work on our house today (when was that arranged?) . He has done work here before. He offers a constant running commentary on work in progress and demands I go and look at what he is doing every five minutes. Bastard. Banghead cussing:
And it's only 9.20! Banghead Banghead
Oh, and she woke me up at 2.30 this morning to remind me that it is school photograph day. Why?
-
S.N.A.F.U. tunble:
-
I am waiting to discover how all this is my fault. scared:
-
I?ve had a good day so far. whistle:
Been to Limassol, picked up my ID card, went to the jewellers and was pleasantly surprised by the cost of the repair to Mrs. Barman?s bracelet and he?d put a battery in my watch for free.
Then I went to the DIY shop and bought painting bits, then a nice ?early starter? type breakfast. Stopped-off at the village shop for provisions and then home.
Mind you,. I still have to traverse the trench to reach the house and I?m painting the ceiling this afternoon.
What could possibly go wrong? scared2:
-
Quite a lot in my experience. evil:
-
Quite a lot in my experience. evil:
Fingers crossed then? rubschin:
-
The post has just come. Mrs Nick made a mistake on her Self Assessment for tax.
She owes them ?3000!!
She has gone spare!
I am going out for a bit..............................
-
eeek:
-
She has gone to work and now some more f*cking roofers have turned up and the chatty workmen is talking to them.
Will everyone shut up and leave me alone!! Banghead
And now she has come back (having forgotten something) and they are all chatting about her car scrape!
-
What is going on? cussing:
The handbrake on Mrs Nick's car stuck. Found her in tears SHOUTING AT THE CAR! eeek:
My mobile [phone died. Called the company and they will send me a new one. INterminable effing conversation about what I want it to do. "I want to make and receive calls". "Well, the new Motorola X445678944t2 has an integral MP3 player, video facility, smart flip top..."
"DOES IT MAKE CALLS?"
"Yes"
"SEND IT THEN"
"Tuesday?"
"NO I AM OUT ALL DAY TOMORROW"
"Wednesday?"
"Yes. I shall be here all day."
5 minutes later. Phone call.
"We need you at a meeting all Wednesday afternoon"
WTF Is going on today?
RIGHT
This is definitely planned. Another phone call. Someone I was at University with in 1980 and have seen 5 times since has just called. "I am here briefly from Taiwan and thought it would be nice to see you, perhaps for lunch." "That's tricky. How long are you here for?" "Just till Wednesday, but I will be near you this evening. Perhaps I could drop in. About 6?"
"Yes."
"Any chance of a bite to eat?"
I was so amazed I said yes.
The greedy bastard has invited himself for dinner!"
-
Mental vision of Mrs Nick "Doing a Basil"
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnewsimg.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F41413000%2Fjpg%2F_41413461_fawltycar203.jpg&hash=cec5c486147e5b524a18c0ce49346f9a11aceee9)
-
It was very much like that.
Pissing with rain here so all workmen have cleared off.
And tomorrow: All day Appeal (Boy) with solicitors etc. We are after blood! (especially after this morning) spider:
How much more can a man take?
-
God bless you Nick - you always make me feel better lol:
I am having a day of One to One's with my staff who all have to go through their 'Workstyle questionairres'. Save me now sad24:
The Council is empowering people to work from home - in other words , saving office space, renting that out to the private sector, not having to pay the same leccy bills and the list goes on.
I started with the first one this morning - who also happened to be the Union Shop Steward - thinking after that it could only get easier. Two fffing hours he wanted to discuss the issues for - 3 more to do and I can't wait. Banghead
-
I'll be passing yours later, so wondered if I could pop in for a chat over a cuppa and piece of fudge cake p'raps? eatdrink013
Don't suppose you could spare me a fifty snotters for a couple of days too could you?
I'll take you to the bank if you like. happy088
-
Drop in by all means. At your own risk, of course. evil:
-
God bless you Nick - you always make me feel better lol:
I am having a day of One to One's with my staff who all have to go through their 'Workstyle questionairres'. Save me now sad24:
The Council is empowering people to work from home - in other words , saving office space, renting that out to the private sector, not having to pay the same leccy bills and the list goes on.
I started with the first one this morning - who also happened to be the Union Shop Steward - thinking after that it could only get easier. Two fffing hours he wanted to discuss the issues for - 3 more to do and I can't wait. Banghead
Well you could work from home. Assuming you can get into it! evil:
-
I?ve had a good day so far. whistle:
Been to Limassol, picked up my ID card, went to the jewellers and was pleasantly surprised by the cost of the repair to Mrs. Barman?s bracelet and he?d put a battery in my watch for free.
Then I went to the DIY shop and bought painting bits, then a nice ?early starter? type breakfast. Stopped-off at the village shop for provisions and then home.
Mind you,. I still have to traverse the trench to reach the house and I?m painting the ceiling this afternoon.
What could possibly go wrong? scared2:
You had to ask didnt you. Expect a message from Nick saying he needs a holiday and is about to board a flight over there...
-
Oddly enough..............
-
Oddly enough..............
How are you at painting ceilings? noooo:
-
I usually end up with paint in my armpits, hair, clothing. I often paint naked for that reason (saves washing clothing).
If I were you I'd get a man in. I have one here actually. If you enjoy CHATTING!
-
I usually end up with paint in my armpits, hair, clothing. I often paint naked for that reason (saves washing clothing).
If I were you I'd get a man in. I have one here actually. If you enjoy CHATTING!
No I don?t want the chatterbox ? nor you here nude come to think of it? noooo:
The bloody room goes on forever? rubschin:
-
Spraygun?
-
Spraygun?
Noooooooooooooooooo! I'm making enough mess as it is I'm trying very hard to avoid spills and splashes... noooo:
-
And evidently failing
-
And evidently failing
No! Banghead
-
= yes
-
= yes
redface:
-
I'm covered in it... sad24:
Mind you, my right arm has had loads of exercise since Mrs. Barman left... whistle:
-
How bad is it. WOrst for me is getting paint on my feet and walking it through other parts of the house.
You haven't, have you?
AND NOW THE CHATMEISTER IS BACK Banghead Banghead
-
How bad is it. WOrst for me is getting paint on my feet and walking it through other parts of the house.
You haven't, have you?
sad24:
-
Oh dear.
Watch out for handprints in the kitchen too. And paint on keyboard too, I assume.
-
Well you could work from home. Assuming you can get into it! evil:
My rights of entry have now been restored lol:
-
Actress. Bishop. drumroll:
-
Oh dear.
Watch out for handprints in the kitchen too. And paint on keyboard too, I assume.
sad24:
-
Oh dear.
Watch out for handprints in the kitchen too. And paint on keyboard too, I assume.
sad24:
So we have gouge marks in the floor from the flying debris and now paint spatters. point:
-
She will have to scrape Barman too, when she gets back. point:
-
Well you could work from home. Assuming you can get into it! evil:
My rights of entry have now been restored lol:
Was wondering where you had disappeared to trouble whistle:
-
I have a Blind Date service*. See me in Agony Corner. Both of you
*Modest charges apply.
-
She will have to scrape Barman too, when she gets back. point:
Think she might have to do many things to Barman. eveilgrin:
-
Wire brush. All over?
Turps?
Credit Card bill?
-
Was wondering where you had disappeared to trouble whistle:
Just working too hard - honestly - it even hurts me to say it cry:
Still can't use PM's at work either Banghead
Life is never straightforward eh - but never as complicated as Nick's lol:
-
Was wondering where you had disappeared to trouble whistle:
Just working too hard - honestly - it even hurts me to say it cry:
Still can't use PM's at work either Banghead
Life is never straightforward eh - but never as complicated as Nick's lol:
How odd. eeek:
-
Was wondering where you had disappeared to trouble whistle:
Just working too hard - honestly - it even hurts me to say it cry:
Still can't use PM's at work either Banghead
Life is never straightforward eh - but never as complicated as Nick's lol:
In his defence Nick's life is not complicated ~ the only variation, day to day, is the depth of the sh*t he finds himself in.
-
What can possibly go wrong? evil:
-
And why does BW have 2 different avatars?
-
Painting is finished, dog walked, cats fed, showered and beer O?clock has chimed? cloud9:
-
Was wondering where you had disappeared to trouble whistle:
Just working too hard - honestly - it even hurts me to say it cry:
Still can't use PM's at work either Banghead
Life is never straightforward eh - but never as complicated as Nick's lol:
In his defence Nick's life is not complicated ~ the only variation, day to day, is the depth of the sh*t he finds himself in.
Legal hearing tomorrow. What can possibly go wrong?
-
And why does BW have 2 different avatars?
I shouldn't do. Is some bugger pissing about with it again? evil:
Someone remind me what the other address is would you.
-
Well in one you are all buxom and happy (half right), and in the other you are a line drawing and slender. Half right too too, I spect.
In both you carry beer to men gleefully. Totally wrong on both counts.
-
Well in one you are all buxom and happy (half right), and in the other you are a line drawing and slender. Half right too too, I spect.
In both you carry beer to men gleefully. Totally wrong on both counts.
How odd. eeek:
-
And why does BW have 2 different avatars?
I shouldn't do. Is some bugger pissing about with it again? evil:
Someone remind me what the other address is would you.
http://www.move-to-cyprus.com/virtual-pub/SMF/index.php
-
Well in one you are all buxom and happy (half right), and in the other you are a line drawing and slender. Half right too too, I spect.
In both you carry beer to men gleefully. Totally wrong on both counts.
So what you are trying to say is I'm a miserable line drawing?
-
Yes.
-
Yes.
Ta. sad24:
-
Yes.
Ta. sad24:
happy100
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
You forgot the beer tho... noooo:
What does the Wench drink I wonder? rubschin:
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
You forgot the beer tho... noooo:
What does the Wench drink I wonder? rubschin:
Not beer, cider, malibu or whisky.
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
You forgot the beer tho... noooo:
What does the Wench drink I wonder? rubschin:
O-Rhesus Negative if available.
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
You forgot the beer tho... noooo:
What does the Wench drink I wonder? rubschin:
Not beer, cider, malibu or whisky.
Perhaps all three for a special evening? sick2:
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
You forgot the beer tho... noooo:
What does the Wench drink I wonder? rubschin:
Not beer, cider, malibu or whisky.
Perhaps all three for a special evening? sick2:
Which one of the four are you excluding?
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
You forgot the beer tho... noooo:
What does the Wench drink I wonder? rubschin:
Not beer, cider, malibu or whisky.
Perhaps all three for a special evening? sick2:
Which one of the four are you excluding?
You said not beer... that leaves cider malibu and whiskey? whistle:
Oh I see, you meant? redface:
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
You forgot the beer tho... noooo:
What does the Wench drink I wonder? rubschin:
Not beer, cider, malibu or whisky.
Perhaps all three for a special evening? sick2:
Which one of the four are you excluding?
You said not beer... that leaves cider malibu and whiskey? whistle:
Oh I see, you meant? redface:
Banghead
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
You forgot the beer tho... noooo:
What does the Wench drink I wonder? rubschin:
Not beer, cider, malibu or whisky.
Perhaps all three for a special evening? sick2:
Which one of the four are you excluding?
You said not beer... that leaves cider malibu and whiskey? whistle:
Oh I see, you meant? redface:
Banghead
We?ll get a bottle of sweet sherry in for you then? whistle:
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
You forgot the beer tho... noooo:
What does the Wench drink I wonder? rubschin:
Not beer, cider, malibu or whisky.
Perhaps all three for a special evening? sick2:
Which one of the four are you excluding?
You said not beer... that leaves cider malibu and whiskey? whistle:
Oh I see, you meant? redface:
Banghead
We?ll get a bottle of sweet sherry in for you then? whistle:
sick2:
Vodka or white wine please.
-
dog walked, cats fed, showered
Sounds like a theme night
You forgot the beer tho... noooo:
What does the Wench drink I wonder? rubschin:
Not beer, cider, malibu or whisky.
Perhaps all three for a special evening? sick2:
Which one of the four are you excluding?
You said not beer... that leaves cider malibu and whiskey? whistle:
Oh I see, you meant? redface:
Banghead
We?ll get a bottle of sweet sherry in for you then? whistle:
sick2:
Vodka or white wine please.
Oh, so not beer, cider, Malibu, whisky or sweet sherry then? noooo:
Could you not just have said vodka or white wine? Banghead
-
I could but that would have taken the fun out of it! point:
I drink amaretto too.
-
I could but that would have taken the fun out of it! point:
I drink amaretto too.
Southern Comfort & Amaretto cloud9:
-
I could but that would have taken the fun out of it! point:
I drink amaretto too.
Southern Comfort & Amaretto cloud9:
Together!!!!?????????????? sick2:
-
I could but that would have taken the fun out of it! point:
I drink amaretto too.
Southern Comfort & Amaretto cloud9:
Together!!!!?????????????? sick2:
Oh yes... you must try it... cloud9: cloud9:
-
Mrs Snoopy is willing to try that "Cocktail"
I shall be standing some way back. (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fsick015.gif&hash=8d9adbeb2728c77fe0d268a01c56427ee403f4ed)
-
I could but that would have taken the fun out of it! point:
I drink amaretto too.
Southern Comfort & Amaretto cloud9:
Together!!!!?????????????? sick2:
Oh yes... you must try it... cloud9: cloud9:
Reminds me of a 'cocktail' I was introduced to once in America -
It was called a 'Test Tube Baby', and consisted of Southern Comfort with Baileys dripped into it. Looked most peculiar, but, funnily enough, didn't taste too bad shocked003
-
Mrs Snoopy is willing to try that "Cocktail"
I shall be standing some way back. (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fsick015.gif&hash=8d9adbeb2728c77fe0d268a01c56427ee403f4ed)
It does sound awful but tastes completely different to its component parts? cloud9:
-
It is nice. I quite like that one.
Baileys added to anything congeals. When we used to do birthdays at Uni and it was a shot from every optic you used to stick three of baileys in. It floats and congeals at the top and you basically have to eat your way through it. sick2:
Brain haemorage
Vodka, baileys and grenadine. The grenadine sits on the edges of the congealed baileys which floats in the vodka. sick2:
-
Personally I favour a
Long Slow Comfortable Screw Against the Wall
Ingredients:
* 1 shot Sloe gin
* 1 shot Vodka
* 1 shot Southern Comfort
* 1 shot Galliano
* Orange juice
Mixing instructions:
Mix all ingredients in a glass.
-
Hey!!!!
We got us a Cocktail Hour going here!
Let's Boogy (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fdance013.gif&hash=1049a9badcb2a4599488310f78595b43806ee936)
-
I drink amaretto
sick2:
-
Ahem... back on topic... whistle:
One of the cats got locked-in last night and decided that the best place to have a shite was on one of my tee shirts. Banghead
Can there be a more vile-smelling disgusting substance? sick2:
Tee-shirt now in bin. noooo:
-
My own feeling is that cats should never be allowed to live in doors. It is not a natural state for them. Farm cats, for example, live a fulfilling and useful life in the barns and farm yard. Confining cats to being domestic pets is doing them a great disservice.
There are, of course, some resident cats here who may disagree as they prefer their pampered existence.
-
Farm cats, for example, live a fulfilling and useful life in the barns and farm yard. Confining cats to being domestic pets is doing them a great disservice.
Hear, Hear.
-
Thirded... whistle:
-
What is this thread about?
-
What is this thread about?
I dunno... Nick started it... noooo:
-
My own feeling is that cats should never be allowed to live in doors.
Grrrr. Smite... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.allemoticons.com%2FAnimals%2Fcat_siam.gif&hash=e0d27f4e279d738f835128dc74ba28bde909b8b8) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.allemoticons.com%2FAnimals%2FAnimals_002.gif&hash=54846aef723f097bf89561af92869348042c3cb5) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.allemoticons.com%2FAnimals%2Fcat_grey.gif&hash=77ab855b329b9de338dc25d0272448d990d0e3c4)
-
My own feeling is that cats should never be allowed to live in doors. It is not a natural state for them. Farm cats, for example, live a fulfilling and useful life in the barns and farm yard. Confining cats to being domestic pets is doing them a great disservice.
There are, of course, some resident cats here who may disagree as they prefer their pampered existence.
Shurrup you! ... and get back in your kennel if you value your soft moist nose. evil:
Cats unlike subservient dogs are quick to display their displeasure at any signs of disrespect or neglect.
As they cannot grumble they carefully choose the activity that will be guaranteed to catch your attention.
"Locked in" was the complaint 'Don't do it again'. was the message that was left.
-
My own feeling is that cats should never be allowed to live in doors.
Grrrr. Smite... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.allemoticons.com%2FAnimals%2Fcat_siam.gif&hash=e0d27f4e279d738f835128dc74ba28bde909b8b8) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.allemoticons.com%2FAnimals%2FAnimals_002.gif&hash=54846aef723f097bf89561af92869348042c3cb5) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.allemoticons.com%2FAnimals%2Fcat_grey.gif&hash=77ab855b329b9de338dc25d0272448d990d0e3c4)
Once again your emoticons from allemoticons.com do not work on either log in address. ::)
Anyway I did except present company from my statement.
-
Did you mean exempt, by chance?
You know we are a sensitive bunch.
Oh! coming up for midnight.... Must practice my night calls......?
-
Did you mean exempt, by chance?
You know we are a sensitive bunch.
Oh! coming up for midnight.... Must practice my night calls......?
No I meant except as in "except for those who are present on this board".
Anyway let's not confuse virtual with real.
-
Anyway let's not confuse virtual with real.
Remind me... which is this? confused2:
-
shrugs:
-
I think my real life has virtual qualities. I am still sitting here pretending to talk to someone noooo:
-
shrugs:
>snore<