The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Sour Puss on October 01, 2007, 04:50:54 PM
-
This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little: cloud9:
Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't freakin' think so. noooo:
-
Wonderful!!!
I wonder how welsh frog would have tasted. rubschin:
-
Better with a Leek Sauce ;)
-
Better with a Leek Sauce ;)
drumroll:
-
Wonderful!!!
I wonder how welsh frog would have tasted. rubschin:
So no romance for you then, eh?
-
I've just read it out to Mrs Snoopy ~ I think she wet herself.
-
Wonderful!!!
I wonder how welsh frog would have tasted. rubschin:
So no romance for you then, eh?
That would be unfair for me to say. I did get flowers last week.
-
Wonderful!!!
I wonder how welsh frog would have tasted. rubschin:
So no romance for you then, eh?
That would be unfair for me to say. I did get flowers last week.
Flowers, chocolate, wool - you women are so easy to please whistle:
-
Wonderful!!!
I wonder how welsh frog would have tasted. rubschin:
So no romance for you then, eh?
That would be unfair for me to say. I did get flowers last week.
Flowers, chocolate, wool - you women are so easy to please whistle:
Which is why none of us understand how you men manage to get it soooo wrong soooo often. noooo:
-
fence:
-
Wonderful!!!
I wonder how welsh frog would have tasted. rubschin:
So no romance for you then, eh?
That would be unfair for me to say. I did get flowers last week.
Flowers, chocolate, wool - you women are so easy to please whistle:
Which is why none of us understand how you men manage to get it soooo wrong soooo often. noooo:
Mrs Tel is usually overjoyed with her surpise gifts, a spaghetti jar, a wooden car, a candle snuffer, the list goes on. Surely something there to brighten your day! ;D
-
Frogs are bastards too cussing:
-
The way to the black festering hole of a woman’s heart is via scented candles… allegedly… whistle:
-
Y fronts can work too. If inserted correctly rubschin:
-
Y fronts can work too. If inserted correctly rubschin:
Really?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload3.postimage.org%2F403870%2FMrBean.jpg&hash=f3c323384c21552ef123198a6950898600f7f291) (http://upload3.postimage.org/403870/photo_hosting.html)
-
One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Adam?", God replies.
"Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Adam?", comes the reply from the heavens.
"Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely."
"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a 'woman' for you."
"What's a 'woman', Lord?"
"This 'woman' will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you.", replies the heavenly voice.
"Sounds great."
"She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam."
"How much will this 'woman' cost me Lord?", Adam replies.
"She'll cost you your right arm, your right leg, an eye, an ear, and your left testicle."
Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam says to God, "Ehhh, what can I get for a rib?"
The rest, as they say, is history