The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Uncle Mort on October 02, 2007, 12:21:13 PM

Title: Sickies
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 02, 2007, 12:21:13 PM
How comes in the department I work in I'm the only one who has had time off for various hospital appointments but has never called in for a 'sickie'?

Some of my colleagues seem to be off sick every other week.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Snoopy on October 02, 2007, 12:23:15 PM
'Cos you are an honest artisan who believes in playing fair with his employer and puts in a day's work for a day's pay.








Sucker point: Sorry ~ that was meant to be funny but wasn't really was it.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 02, 2007, 12:30:25 PM
That's exactly what I'm thinking.

 cry:

(No offense taken)
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Barman on October 02, 2007, 12:32:17 PM
Sickies are a nightmare for employers.

Unfortunately, as Snoopy says most employees think a ‘sickie’ is a legitimate ‘right’ to have an extra day off when they feel like it or (as in the case of one of ours in the UK) when their brother’s taxi company was a bit short handed.

Unfortunately, employment legislation has made it more and more difficult to threaten these people with the sack.  cussing:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 02, 2007, 12:34:16 PM
We've had a chap who has recently returned to work after 4 months off with a bad knee. He's now taken a week's holiday.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Barman on October 02, 2007, 12:35:31 PM
We've had a chap who has recently returned to work after 4 months off with a bad knee. He's now taken a week's holiday.
That’s exactly the attitude that used to drive me to despair!  Banghead
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Misunderstood on October 02, 2007, 12:35:49 PM
Never mind there are plenty of Poles around...

I suppose that's why they're here...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Snoopy on October 02, 2007, 12:39:10 PM
Never mind there are plenty of Poles around...

I suppose that's why they're here...  rubschin:

My brother's employer latched onto this idea. Plenty of Poles to be employed on minimum wages, always eager for overtime etc. BUT they want to go "home" every three months for 6 weeks at a time. He lets them but Lil Bruv (single, hard worker, tradesman whilst the Poles are labourers) has to fight to get a Bank holiday off or even payment/time in lieu.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 03, 2007, 09:08:30 AM
Good dose of self employment soon sorts out 'health issues' ;)
No werk, no money. Simple really.

I've taken a total of 3 days off sick in 12-13 years.

As for 'expanding' and taking on staff as many suggested I should do. Not a chance in hell....."sorry, can't come in today, got tummy ache." evil:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Barman on October 03, 2007, 09:12:15 AM
Good dose of self employment soon sorts out 'health issues' ;)
No werk, no money. Simple really.

I've taken a total of 3 days off sick in 12-13 years.

As for 'expanding' and taking on staff as many suggested I should do. Not a chance in hell....."sorry, can't come in today, got tummy ache." evil:
Agreed… I vowed never to employ again… much happier working on my own now.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 03, 2007, 09:14:28 AM
Some old lags may recall that I employed, and then sacked, my own sister eeek:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Barman on October 03, 2007, 09:18:46 AM
Some old lags may recall that I employed, and then sacked, my own sister eeek:
;D
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 03, 2007, 09:28:49 AM
Number of people I know that are self employed and have taken staff on to help them expand to earn more. It's complete utter bollox. All they do is moan about being strangled by red tape employment laws, and unreliable thieving staff, and end up having a nervous breakdown.

I sometimes have to give meself a full diciplinary hearing in front of the mirror mind. ::)
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 03, 2007, 09:29:58 AM
I assumed that Mrs Growler could do that for you. Mrs Nick is constantly investigating my activities. It's like living with Clouseau noooo:

And a very strange job has just come in. Most odd. May have to fit in a trip to Kent on Friday now rubschin:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 03, 2007, 09:44:21 AM
I assumed that Mrs Growler could do that for you. Mrs Nick is constantly investigating my activities. It's like living with Clouseau noooo:

She bollocks me for the way I speak to some of my cussies on the phone. ::)

I let rip if they mess me about.
She only hears me speakin' anyway.

"Get yer fat arse in here NOW twat"  eeek:

I mean, just how does she expect me to react?

Think I've lost 2/3 cussies in nearly 13 years due to me completely losing me rag, 1 two weeks ago.Most of it is just motor trade banter.

That's the beauty of self employment. They start hurling meaningful abuse at me, and no matter HOW far up the management ladder they are up, I simply tell them to f off and DON'T ring me again.
I left B.G. to get away from tits in suits that have no man management skills.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 03, 2007, 09:47:21 AM
I too have refused to work for some clients on the grounds that they are arseholes. Miss Whiplash will never enjoy my services again, even though this is the single biggest contract I have ever had. Life is too short.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 03, 2007, 09:48:39 AM
I assumed that Mrs Growler could do that for you.

Yea. Right! happy001

Tickle my tummy! lol:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 03, 2007, 09:51:37 AM
I thought she was some sort of therapist. Evidently doesn't work on you! evil:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 03, 2007, 09:54:46 AM
I thought she was some sort of therapist. Evidently doesn't work on you! evil:

NOWT she does werks on me....apart from a bottle of single malt p'raps? eastdrink048
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 03, 2007, 09:55:24 AM
I must get Mrs Nick to have a word with her! evil: evil: evil: evil:

I like to spread misery around
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 03, 2007, 09:58:52 AM
I must get Mrs Nick to have a word with her! evil: evil: evil: evil:

I like to spread misery around

Where you actually wearing kecks at your weddin'? rubschin:

YOU, sadly, are 1 of many downtrodden husbands i know.

Everyone wonders how I get away with what i do.

Quite simple really. Just be a GROWLING twat in a permanent bad mood. happy088
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 03, 2007, 10:00:59 AM
We both were!
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 03, 2007, 10:04:44 AM
I must get Mrs Nick to have a word with her! evil: evil: evil: evil:

I like to spread misery around

Where you actually wearing kecks at your weddin'? rubschin:

YOU, sadly, are 1 of many downtrodden husbands i know.

Everyone wonders how I get away with what i do.

Quite simple really. Just be a GROWLING twat in a permanent bad mood. happy088

I am fine and bold all day. When Mrs Nick gets back I turn into a shivering wreck scared2: scared2:

I have thought of electric shock therapy for her, but it seems too mild...........
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: The Moan Ranger on October 03, 2007, 02:51:57 PM
People who take sickies are all bastards too  cussing:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Snoopy on October 03, 2007, 02:53:35 PM
Feel better now? whistle:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Mr Happy on October 03, 2007, 11:06:35 PM
I'm taking one Monday.

My boss hasn't completed a full week since finding out she was pregnant 4 months ago.  Excuses have included, i kid you not:

Swollen Ankles 3 days
Antenatal Swimming Class 2pm leaves X 6
Scans (5 to date bloody papparazzi)
Midwife Appoitment (4 hiurs weekly)
Stomach Complaints (It feels like it's getting bigger)
Feeling Sick (then admitting on phone that she was getting no rest because someone was fitting carpets)
Blurred Vision

In the time she has been in she's questioned my attitude (and was told to f off in front of 12 of both of our inferiors) and failed to submit my overtime for two months running.  She also failed to carry over 4 of my holidays, hence sicky!

P.S to further my defence I work for a big faceless organisation and most work involves taking delivery of shite, duplicating and passing onto next muppett, 75% of the people don't need to be there anyway!!!
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2007, 07:22:02 AM
Quote
P.S to further my defence I work for a big faceless organisation and most work involves taking delivery of shite, duplicating and passing onto next muppett, 75% of the people don't need to be there anyway!!!

Name and shame. Truth be told, this applies to most large orgnisations. Mrs Nick works for one. It's like a vast game of pass the parcel noooo:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 04, 2007, 08:01:07 AM


In the time she has been in she's questioned my attitude (and was told to f off in front of 12 of both of our inferiors)

Keep running that bit through me 'ed, and I still don't gerrit. rubschin:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 04, 2007, 08:06:15 AM
Quote
P.S to further my defence I work for a big faceless organisation and most work involves taking delivery of shite, duplicating and passing onto next muppett, 75% of the people don't need to be there anyway!!!

Name and shame. Truth be told, this applies to most large orgnisations.


I worked for British Gas for 20 years.
Great workforce (plebs  ::) ), but totally shit, control freaked overly self important way above their station management in the main. 95% utter utter tossers. evil:
All they could do was spout targets and tell you that "if it's too hot in the kitchen, GET OUT!"
Mmmmm, nice. How to get the best out of your workforce ey? noooo:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 04, 2007, 08:31:34 AM
I worked for British Gas for 20 years.
Meter-Theft division?
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 04, 2007, 08:34:15 AM
I worked for British Gas for 20 years.
Meter-Theft division?

I did actually have a spell in the anti fraud dept., yes.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Barman on October 04, 2007, 08:34:53 AM
I worked for British Gas for 20 years.
Meter-Theft division?

I did actually have a spell in the anti fraud dept., yes.
How do you stop the meter thingy going round then?  whistle:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 04, 2007, 08:35:55 AM
I worked for British Gas for 20 years.
Meter-Theft division?
I did actually have a spell in the anti fraud dept., yes.
Poacher>>Gamekeeper eh? ;)
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 04, 2007, 08:38:40 AM
I worked for British Gas for 20 years.
Meter-Theft division?

I did actually have a spell in the anti fraud dept., yes.
How do you stop the meter thingy going round then?  whistle:

Tilting or turning it 'round used to work apparently. Making it go backwards was always a hoot to witness, but not for the cussie when caught. noooo:
Dunno now.
 I guess technology over the past 20 years has erradicated the problem.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: GROWLER on October 04, 2007, 08:54:19 AM
I worked for British Gas for 20 years.
Meter-Theft division?
I did actually have a spell in the anti fraud dept., yes.
Poacher>>Gamekeeper eh? ;)

Re-arrange words for your pleasure:

Off Piss.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 04, 2007, 12:19:53 PM
How do you stop the meter thingy going round then?  whistle:
Don't turn on any appliances noooo:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Barman on October 04, 2007, 12:20:30 PM
How do you stop the meter thingy going round then?  whistle:
Don't turn on any appliances noooo:
lol: ::)
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2007, 12:21:02 PM
How do you stop the meter thingy going round then?  whistle:
Don't turn on any appliances noooo:
lol: ::)

Isn't there some trick with magnets? Or was it liver?
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Barman on October 04, 2007, 12:21:37 PM
How do you stop the meter thingy going round then?  whistle:
Don't turn on any appliances noooo:
lol: ::)

Isn't there some trick with magnets? Or was it liver?
Magnets are more likely...
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2007, 12:22:07 PM
Prolly.
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 04, 2007, 01:15:26 PM
How do you stop the meter thingy going round then?  whistle:
Don't turn on any appliances noooo:
lol: ::)

Isn't there some trick with magnets? Or was it liver?
Magnets are more likely...

No.

Shove a bit of liver in the meter and in a week the maggots will jam up the mechanism. noooo:
Title: Re: Sickies
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2007, 01:17:13 PM
Wenchy wrote

Quote
I forwarded an email to my boss from my personal account that had my blog link in the signature. I didn't delete it and there were details of the day out I'd had shopping when I was supposedly in bed with flu. 


Miscreant!