The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: The Moan Ranger on October 18, 2007, 12:05:50 PM
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The gruesome twosome are probably now regretting getting on the beer so early and lying in the sun sans sun cream. The ants on the beach are bleedin huge and we we fearful that they may carry Snakey off to their lair.
The pair of muppets are wondering why their phones haven't charged up, when they haven't left the electricity card in the slot when they came out...
I despair...
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Everything pretty much as per normal then. ;D
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Snakey is now on the water slides with the kids. They have instructions to make sure he doesn't drown in the four foot water...
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Tee, hee.
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Ummm who are these people? redface:
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Ummm who are these people? redface:
You probably don't want to know.
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And you and TMR work together?
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Oh no, nothing like that.
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So how do you know Man Whore and Snakey then?
Why am I so nosey. sad24:
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So how do you know Man Whore and Snakey then?
Why am I so nosey. sad24:
You are a woman.
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And the answer to my first question? whistle:
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Answer on its way.
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Thank-you.
I can breathe again now. cloud9:
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You may end up choking depending on what gets reported back here. That is, if it can be published! redface:
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Both Man Whore and Snakey are institutions. Or should be institutionalised, I'm never sure which. At the moment they are playing strip pool. Snakey is down to his leopard print thong - I have retired to the main bar.
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Thank-you.
I can breathe again now. cloud9:
That's my girl.
Big breaths now. eyes:
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I remain, however, undefeated at table tennis - much to the annoyance of R6 RacerBoy. It's quite amazing how well you can play whence trolleyed through Lowenbrau. Could do with a pint of Young's mind you :-(
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Both Man Whore and Snakey are institutions. Or should be institutionalised, I'm never sure which. At the moment they are playing strip pool. Snakey is down to his leopard print thong - I have retired to the main bar.
Why didn't they take that away from him at customs?
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The Customs officials hadn't stopped laughing at his "religious" socks at the time.
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The brothers dim have hired a quadbike and gone into Kardamena. I do not expect them to return in one piece. Remember last time Man Whore was on a quad?
More details about the new barmaid please? Age, name and vital statistics...
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Telephone no. as well?
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Good work fella!
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I take back everything I said about keeping in touch while on holiday cool14:
This is turning out to be rather entertaining eyes:
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A little bit of charm, some chocolate and they tell you everything.
I don't think the 12 Sambucas had anything to do with it.
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The brothers dim have hired a quadbike and gone into Kardamena. I do not expect them to return in one piece. Remember last time Man Whore was on a quad?
More details about the new barmaid please? Age, name and vital statistics...
There can't be too many razor wire fences around there surely. Any mountains, cliffs, volcanoes etc?
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A little bit of charm, some chocolate and they tell you everything.
I don't think the 12 Sambucas had anything to do with it.
Have you tried calling the telephone number you were given whistle:
Us ladies are happy to give pestering punters a telephone number just to shut them up but generally its not the REAL one noooo:
Call it and let us know ::)
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A little bit of charm, some chocolate and they tell you everything.
I don't think the 12 Sambucas had anything to do with it.
Have you tried calling the telephone number you were given whistle:
Us ladies are happy to give pestering punters a telephone number just to shut them up but generally its not the REAL one noooo:
Call it and let us know ::)
The trick is to get them to call you at the time so you can store each others numbers.
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I take back everything I said about keeping in touch while on holiday cool14:
This is turning out to be rather entertaining eyes:
The weekend should be interesting and we haven't heard anything from (or about for that matter), Nick.
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A little bit of charm, some chocolate and they tell you everything.
I don't think the 12 Sambucas had anything to do with it.
Have you tried calling the telephone number you were given whistle:
Us ladies are happy to give pestering punters a telephone number just to shut them up but generally its not the REAL one noooo:
Call it and let us know ::)
The trick is to get them to call you at the time so you can store each others numbers.
Sadly my mobile phone never has battery life when asked to do this noooo:
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Mine neither. noooo:
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Plenty of ditches at the side of the road - I know as the cab that brought me back from town last night went into one!
I thought my time was up.
I have just received a text from Man Whore, so he is still alive. Snakey has vanished though, probably trying to find his uncle Bob!
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Mine neither. noooo:
You girls and your batteries, I dunno!
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They run out at the most inconvenient times! point:
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If Snakey goes into a ditch he won't be able to climb out!
There again if he found Uncle Bob he won't be too bothered.
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They run out at the most inconvenient times! point:
Bit like your men then. tunble:
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They run out at the most inconvenient times! point:
Bit like your men then. tunble:
huh ????????????????????
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Is Mr Wench planning something I should know about? sad24:
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They run out at the most inconvenient times! point:
How disappointing for you. ::)
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They run out at the most inconvenient times! point:
Bit like your men then. tunble:
huh ????????????????????
As in ~ oh you work it out. Think him snoring in post coital mode and you wanting to "talk"
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Nope. Never had that problem. eeek:
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Nope. Never had that problem. eeek:
Other way round?
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Nope. Never had that problem. eeek:
Blimey! ~ Will you marry me?
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Nope. Never had that problem. eeek:
Other way round?
Wouldn't know, I'm asleep. redface:
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The brothers dim have returned. Snakey couldn't find his uncle bob, so they have settled for Lowenbrau instead. The quadbike could only manage 30mph with nineteen stone Man Whore and eleven stone Snakey on it. Probably a good thing.
Mrs TMR has just had a massive nose bleed - never seen her have one before - I'm worried. :-(
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The brothers dim have returned. Snakey couldn't find his uncle bob, so they have settled for Lowenbrau instead. The quadbike could only manage 30mph with nineteen stone Man Whore and eleven stone Snakey on it. Probably a good thing.
Mrs TMR has just had a massive nose bleed - never seen her have one before - I'm worried. :-(
Something in the water perhaps?
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Mrs TMR has just had a massive nose bleed - never seen her have one before - I'm worried. :-(
Don't just be worried do something - like take her to a doctor or the local A&E noooo:
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I have taken her back to the room - she passed out - happens when she sees her own blood.
Not good :+(
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Good man TMR ~ Don't let anything get between you and the bar. ;)
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Take her to the doctor man!!!
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She refuses. She's fine now - demanding a fag and a cup of tea. Stop panicking women!
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What's the doctor going to do anyway?
Sypmtoms: Nose bleed - first time therefore no history. Passed out - always does at sight of own blood.
Not a lot to go on.
All the doctor would say is if it keeps happening then come back.
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She refuses. She's fine now - demanding a fag and a cup of tea. Stop panicking women!
That's fine then.
It was the use of the word massive that concerned me.
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Just popped back home to get prescription from chemist. Supposed to 1b 14 degrees today - doesn't feel like it, clear blue sky and brilliant sun-shine, no wind (not looking good for kite flying). Females wandering around in skimpy tops! razz:
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A bit sensationalist perhaps. Apologies. All the colour is back in her cheeks now and the bar looms...
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There's nothing worse than a looming bar!
New bar-maid - easiest way to describe her - about the same age, shape and size as Man Whore's stalker, but prettier, nicer smile and no scabs. ;D
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New bar-maid - easiest way to describe her - about the same age, shape and size as Man Whore's stalker, but prettier, nicer smile and no scabs. ;D
Anywhere? whistle:
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English? Football team of choice? Sexual proclivities?
Shaven raven? Or Blackforest?
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Just popped back home to get prescription from chemist. Supposed to 1b 14 degrees today - doesn't feel like it, clear blue sky and brilliant sun-shine, no wind (not looking good for kite flying). Females wandering around in skimpy tops! razz:
It is indeed warm enough for skimpy tops. redface:
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Just popped back home to get prescription from chemist. Supposed to 1b 14 degrees today - doesn't feel like it, clear blue sky and brilliant sun-shine, no wind (not looking good for kite flying). Females wandering around in skimpy tops! razz:
It is indeed warm enough for skimpy tops. redface:
And?
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English? Football team of choice? Sexual proclivities?
Shaven raven? Or Blackforest?
Give us a chance! Only saw her for the first time last night. All will be revealed by the time you get back.
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Just popped back home to get prescription from chemist. Supposed to 1b 14 degrees today - doesn't feel like it, clear blue sky and brilliant sun-shine, no wind (not looking good for kite flying). Females wandering around in skimpy tops! razz:
It is indeed warm enough for skimpy tops. redface:
And?
It's a teensy bit chilly and one should wear a cardigan when out as otherwise you will embarass yourself. redface:
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Just popped back home to get prescription from chemist. Supposed to 1b 14 degrees today - doesn't feel like it, clear blue sky and brilliant sun-shine, no wind (not looking good for kite flying). Females wandering around in skimpy tops! razz:
It is indeed warm enough for skimpy tops. redface:
And?
It's a teensy bit chilly and one should wear a cardigan when out as otherwise you will embarass yourself. redface:
point: point:
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New bar-maid - easiest way to describe her - about the same age, shape and size as Man Whore's stalker, but prettier, nicer smile and no scabs. ;D
Anywhere? whistle:
The bits I looked at were all ok.
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Man Whore is making noises about going in the sea. The Japanese whaler is on standby...
Snakey lost his glasses whilst going down one of the water slides (how old is he!) And R6 Racerboy has gone off on their quad. A tenner says he'll crash it.
Miss TMR junior has returned from her day snorkelling - loved it, held an Octopus. Current temperature 28, although rain forecast for tomorrow.
Still, we have Rangers/Celtic at 2.30 and then the RWC at 10. Could be a long day...
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Has Snakey had any of his falling asleep, standing up moments yet. Suppose that is more of a weekend thing really.
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Yes! Last night - had one cocktail, complained that it wasn't strong enough - the Barman then served a glass with what looked like muddy water in it. Snakey managed half then fell asleep standing up. Man Whore finished the rest off and then took Snakey home.
R6 Racerboy failed to get the quad started. Try the kill switch, moron!
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Snakey and a cocktail? I suppose it's not too far removed from his preferred tipple - can he get that there?
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Yes. His journey into town wasn't entirely fruitless - he found a pub that will do it. We shall be heading off there shortly...
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Yes. His journey into town wasn't entirely fruitless - he found a pub that will do it. We shall be heading off there shortly...
I wait with bated breath.
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This promises to be a legendary night...
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So what does he drink that is so difficult to find then?
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So what does he drink that is so difficult to find then?
Does the name not give you a clue?
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This promises to be a legendary night...
Relations with another foreign country about go frosty!
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So what does he drink that is so difficult to find then?
Does the name not give you a clue?
Well now I know it does, but well it could have been refering to lots of things. redface:
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So what does he drink that is so difficult to find then?
Does the name not give you a clue?
Well now I know it does, but well it could have been refering to lots of things. redface:
As in Steve Snake-hips Davis, the legendary saxophonist and session man?
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TBH I can't imagine that drink anywhere other than where I first tried it. A remote pub in the wilds of Hereford & Worcs, homebrew mix. Almost devastating... eeek:
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So what does he drink that is so difficult to find then?
Does the name not give you a clue?
Well now I know it does, but well it could have been refering to lots of things. redface:
As in Steve Snake-hips Davis, the legendary saxophonist and session man?
Yes. Him. Absolutely!
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SNAKEBITE - old Pink Lips is back in town
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Looks like the flu has got me - sore throat, coughing, snotty nose and achy legs. great, just what I need for the weekend! noooo:
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Me too. sad24:
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Well at least you can stay in bed tomorrow, I've got a full network test happening most of tomorrow and then I want to see the rugby.
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Whose not been taking their Echinacea then? cool14:
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Mad. Just mad!
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Five in a restaurant - with drinks - seventy five euros. Damn good too. Back in "The Pub" watching the rugby. Go on the Argies!
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Whose not been taking their Echinacea then? cool14:
Oh piss off Mum!! I'm now dosed up with it, vit c and zinc. I rattle and slosh. eeek:
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I rattle and slosh.
Probably Wispa poisoning. noooo:
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Whose not been taking their Echinacea then? cool14:
I can't say it, never mind buy it!
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No casualties from the night in town. Man Whore hasn't surfaced yet. Snakey and R6 Racerboy are back on the brew. I'm settling for coffee at the moment.
"The Pub" in Kardamena has invited us back for free beers, so we must have been well behaved.
Two hours to Rangers/Celtic...
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Man Whore still in his pit - he says it's "flu". I blame the 23 Sambukas...
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I should still be in my pit. Feel awful.
On a completely different note, the local paper had a piece in it about some low-lifes who nicked the paving stones from the war memorial at Carshalton Ponds! The police have nicked some bloke for it but the council reckon it won't be repaired in time for rembrance Sunday.
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That's three weeks away ... how long does it take to lay a few paving slabs FFS?
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They are York Stone and not easily replaced. That's why someone was nicking them, worth a lot of money.
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Rembrance Sunday.
Is that when we all think about dead artists?
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They are York Stone and not easily replaced. That's why someone was nicking them, worth a lot of money.
£42 per sq metre ~ 7 day delivery
http://www.architecturalstonesupplies.co.uk/catalogue/525/items/1/4471.html
Not hard to find. It's a matter of willingness to do something.
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Don't know, that's all that was in the paper.
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Oh not blaming you ~ but you local council needs a kick up the arse if that is their excuse.
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Rangers one up!
Man Whore surfaced, looks like death. Back on the beer!
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Rembrance Sunday.
Is that when we all think about dead artists?
I've seen worse DS ~ Even the local church managed to print the service sheets headed Rememberance Service one year.
Oh and the excuse was that they got confused translating it from Welsh! ::)
As you will imagine I said a few carefully chosen words on the subject. censored:
Vicar still crosses the road and looks away when he sees me coming eeek:
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I didn't have enough letters on my keyboard. redface:
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I'm sitting in the Sports Bar watching the match. Far too many green and white hoops. My rendition of "no Pope of Rome" received a frosty reception. Just wait until I give them a full dose of "build my gallows"...this could be my last post...
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At the Stade de France, a pint will cost £6.50 and its all ALCOHOL FREE!
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3-0. They weren't happy...
I didn't take the piss. Much...
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A legendary night involving full rugby tackling in the bar, arm wrestling and knuckles. Full report when I stop shaking.
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A legendary night involving full rugby tackling in the bar, arm wrestling and knuckles. Full report when I stop shaking.
;D
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Never, in the field of drinkdom, was so much drunk, by so few. Man Whore - two litres of Brandy. Good Surrey effort. Snakey - about fifteen pints and a litre of Vodka. Mrs TMR - two bottles of Baileys. And about eight pints. Me - dunno, probably an orange juice or two...
Suffice to say, everyone today is battered. From full-on rugby tackling In the bar (I took Man Whore out - all nineteen stone of him) to games of knuckles, arm-wrestling (Man Whore won, easily) who can do the longest headstand contests and generally arsing about. We are all now about five pints under and conversation is muted. Siesta looks likely.
Apparently we all went to bed about four thirty this morning.
I am FAR too old for this caper...
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Never, in the field of drinkdom, was so much drunk, by so few. Man Whore - two litres of Brandy. Good Surrey effort. Snakey - about fifteen pints and a litre of Vodka. Mrs TMR - two bottles of Baileys. And about eight pints. Me - dunno, probably an orange juice or two...
Suffice to say, everyone today is battered. From full-on rugby tackling In the bar (I took Man Whore out - all nineteen stone of him) to games of knuckles, arm-wrestling (Man Whore won, easily) who can do the longest headstand contests and generally arsing about. We are all now about five pints under and conversation is muted. Siesta looks likely.
Apparently we all went to bed about four thirty this morning.
I am FAR too old for this caper...
That orange juice can be deadly tho... noooo:
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Well done. What happened to Racer boy?
I managed one pint of Youngs after work yesterday!
Watched game at home, trying to suppress sneezing, cough and spluttering - ribs hurt today though.
Can't taste anything, so no pub today.
Have decided to do one of my steak and spud casseroles, will give me something to do until F1 starts.
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R6 RacerBoy had a couple - like me. An hour Siesta, we are all hanging. Snakey gone AWOL. Grand Prix about to start, but I can't see the screen. Could be another long night...
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The silence is deafening!
Bothe from here and from Kos - it is worrying.
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Kos I can understand but where is everyone else?
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Is it because it is Monday?
Kos could be anything from being in a coma to banged up in a police cell.
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Kos I can understand but where is everyone else?
I have been busy today... Nick is part-time... Wenchy must be working...
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Wenchy must be working...
She has been busty busy all morning polishing the motor and taking its photo I expect.
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Wenchy must be working...
She has been busty busy all morning polishing the motor and taking its photo I expect.
It's raining now.
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Wenchy must be working...
She has been busty busy all morning polishing the motor and taking its photo I expect.
It's raining now.
Rain + black car = looks like it hasn't been washed since Christmas... whistle:
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We are all alive. Just. The excesses of Saturday have taken a heavy heavy toll. Snakey is now Shakey. Man Whore is suffering and so am I. Seroius liver damage all round.
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We are all alive. Just. The excesses of Saturday have taken a heavy heavy toll. Snakey is now Shakey. Man Whore is suffering and so am I. Seroius liver damage all round.
It’s okay – they’ve discovered that those ‘safe alcohol limits’ were all made up… you can drink as much as you like and also have a significant amount of catching-up to do… prolly. whistle:
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Getting my taste buds back again, Youngs is starting to taste very nice again. Keep getting drawn into conversations about fishing though.
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Is everybody on half-term hols or something? Place is deserted!
Am now talking to myself, not a bad idea you might say.
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Is everybody on half-term hols or something? Place is deserted!
Am now talking to myself, not a bad idea you might say.
Certainly it is half term in England (Wales is next week) and yes several members are away on holiday.
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We took four buggies out and went to Kefalos. Took and hour and my buggy only just made it up the hills...
Coming back we decided a bit of "off-road" would be a good idea, so we ploughed a farmers field. Most us us now covered in cow shit.
Man Whore has broken his buggy.
Shakey Snakey not so shakey today, but has managed to lose his hotel key. It's probably in a field full of ploughed up cow shit.
I'm having a quick beer before attempting to climb the mountain behind the hotel.
Last night tonight, so it's likely to get messy!
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So it's not going to be a quiet night in then? razz:
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I know I might regret asking this but, was this venture to Kos a holiday, a reunion, or a partially conceived suicide pact? confused:
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A holiday. But permanent bodily harm was always on the cards. Now watching Rangers/Barcelona in a bar full of Barcelona fans. They simply don't understand the finer points of "King Billy's on the Wall".
I must educate them...
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Did he want flowers or a donation sent somewhere?
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All donations for five new livers gratefully received.
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Well, you'll be plesaed to know that the beer is still the same price here.
Going to be back in time for the Chelsea game?
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All donations for five new livers gratefully received.
I suspect that Darwin has loads... whistle:
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All donations for five new livers gratefully received.
I suspect that Darwin has loads... whistle:
Nope, only loose livers.
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I am pleased to report that Snakey's hangover has finally subsided and he's looking quite chipper. Fine effort.
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I am pleased to report that Snakey's hangover has finally subsided and he's looking quite chipper. Fine effort.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmyweb.tiscali.co.uk%2Fc44hythefirestation%2Fpan4.jpg&hash=2dfd547f7280f879ca2e2c257e00efdf0bebd061)
rubschin: