The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on October 26, 2007, 02:40:57 PM

Title: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Nick on October 26, 2007, 02:40:57 PM
All nice and ready like spider:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 26, 2007, 02:42:04 PM
Can Wenchy post her ‘off sick’ disasters in here?  rubschin:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: The Moan Ranger on October 26, 2007, 03:39:52 PM
Kos airport. And in particular, German air passengers to whom the word "queue" (or the Kraut version for it) is an option. Perhaps not a "disaster" as such, but extremely annoying when you have been waiting patiently for two hours...

Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 26, 2007, 03:42:26 PM
Kos airport. And in particular, German air passengers to whom the word "queue" (or the Kraut version for it) is an option. Perhaps not a "disaster" as such, but extremely annoying when you have been waiting patiently for two hours...


Mmmmm….  rubschin:

You’ll have to do better than that I’m afraid…   noooo:

4/10
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: The Moan Ranger on October 26, 2007, 04:08:34 PM
Kos airport. And in particular, German air passengers to whom the word "queue" (or the Kraut version for it) is an option. Perhaps not a "disaster" as such, but extremely annoying when you have been waiting patiently for two hours...


Mmmmm….  rubschin:

You’ll have to do better than that I’m afraid…   noooo:

4/10

 surrender: Would food poisoning resulting in uncontrolable anal seepage qualify?

Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 26, 2007, 04:17:39 PM
. . . food poisoning. . .
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001

Too late to try and persuade us that you consumed any solids while on holiday. noooo:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 26, 2007, 04:27:42 PM
Kos airport. And in particular, German air passengers to whom the word "queue" (or the Kraut version for it) is an option. Perhaps not a "disaster" as such, but extremely annoying when you have been waiting patiently for two hours...


Mmmmm….  rubschin:

You’ll have to do better than that I’m afraid…   noooo:

4/10

 surrender: Would food poisoning resulting in uncontrolable anal seepage qualify?


As Darwin says, the credibility of such a story is rather limited at this stage…  noooo:

5/10
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Pastis on October 26, 2007, 05:34:38 PM
Kos airport. And in particular, German air passengers to whom the word "queue" (or the Kraut version for it) is an option. Perhaps not a "disaster" as such, but extremely annoying when you have been waiting patiently for two hours...


Mmmmm….  rubschin:

You’ll have to do better than that I’m afraid…   noooo:

4/10

 surrender: Would food poisoning resulting in uncontrolable anal seepage qualify?


As Darwin says, the credibility of such a story is rather limited at this stage…  noooo:

5/10

Please God, no evidence  sick2:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 26, 2007, 05:36:58 PM
But I think we need evidence that they actually ate anything during their stay before we accept food poisoning…  whistle:

Bad pint more likely I should think...
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: The Moan Ranger on October 27, 2007, 12:37:10 PM
But I think we need evidence that they actually ate anything during their stay before we accept food poisoning…  whistle:

Bad pint more likely I should think...

And how, exactly, can I evidence the fact? On two of the nights we went to this place - http://kardamena-kos.com/reviews/showproduct.php/product/128/cat/8/page/1 - and the rest of the time we simply gorged ourselves in the hotel.

The waitress in the Avli was from Bournemouth. So there.
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Misunderstood on October 27, 2007, 02:31:28 PM
But I think we need evidence that they actually ate anything during their stay before we accept food poisoning…  whistle:

Bad pint more likely I should think...

And how, exactly, can I evidence the fact? On two of the nights we went to this place - http://kardamena-kos.com/reviews/showproduct.php/product/128/cat/8/page/1 - and the rest of the time we simply gorged ourselves in the hotel.

The waitress in the Avli was from Bournemouth. So there.

Case proved then.
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2007, 03:12:45 PM
But I think we need evidence that they actually ate anything during their stay before we accept food poisoning…  whistle:

Bad pint more likely I should think...

And how, exactly, can I evidence the fact? On two of the nights we went to this place - http://kardamena-kos.com/reviews/showproduct.php/product/128/cat/8/page/1 - and the rest of the time we simply gorged ourselves in the hotel.

The waitress in the Avli was from Bournemouth. So there.

Case proved then.
Beyond reasonable doubt…  surrender:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 29, 2007, 03:29:35 PM
I'd like to plan ahead in case Nick decided to travel to Sweden at any point..  eeek:

http://uk.reuters.com/article/scienceNews/idUKL1610074320071029?feedType=nl&feedName=uktechnology (http://uk.reuters.com/article/scienceNews/idUKL1610074320071029?feedType=nl&feedName=uktechnology)

Having said that you have to wonder what kind of people would go there as a holiday destination?  eeek:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 29, 2007, 03:33:19 PM
I'd like to plan ahead in case Nick decided to travel to Sweden at any point..  eeek:

http://uk.reuters.com/article/scienceNews/idUKL1610074320071029?feedType=nl&feedName=uktechnology (http://uk.reuters.com/article/scienceNews/idUKL1610074320071029?feedType=nl&feedName=uktechnology)

Having said that you have to wonder what kind of people would go there as a holiday destination?  eeek:

Its very safe in all those Volvos.
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: chuntering again on October 29, 2007, 03:35:19 PM
Went camping in Spain in 1992. Both sea-sick, the tent broke after 4 days, Brittany Ferries wouldn't let us take an earlier ferry back, hired a tent which got flooded, ended up staying in a sequence of cheap hotels and B&Bs (one owned by a miserable old cow with a portrait of Franco on the wall and wouldn't let us use her cooker), got sunstroke and my feet sunburnt, food poisoning from a Pizza takeaway in Santander and I couldn't speak a word of the language.

Apart from that, it was great.
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2007, 03:52:18 PM
Went camping in Spain in 1992. Both sea-sick, the tent broke after 4 days, Brittany Ferries wouldn't let us take an earlier ferry back, hired a tent which got flooded, ended up staying in a sequence of cheap hotels and B&Bs (one owned by a miserable old cow with a portrait of Franco on the wall and wouldn't let us use her cooker), got sunstroke and my feet sunburnt, food poisoning from a Pizza takeaway in Santander and I couldn't speak a word of the language.

Apart from that, it was great.
You are Nick - I claim my £5  whistle:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: chuntering again on October 29, 2007, 03:53:24 PM
Went camping in Spain in 1992. Both sea-sick, the tent broke after 4 days, Brittany Ferries wouldn't let us take an earlier ferry back, hired a tent which got flooded, ended up staying in a sequence of cheap hotels and B&Bs (one owned by a miserable old cow with a portrait of Franco on the wall and wouldn't let us use her cooker), got sunstroke and my feet sunburnt, food poisoning from a Pizza takeaway in Santander and I couldn't speak a word of the language.

Apart from that, it was great.
You are Nick - I claim my £5  whistle:

By all accounts I'm married to his wife, or her long lost twin at least.
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2007, 04:42:16 PM
I once camped late at night on a firing range near Algecira (days of Franco). Marched off at gunpoint! noooo:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2007, 04:58:04 PM
Went camping in Spain in 1992. Both sea-sick, the tent broke after 4 days, Brittany Ferries wouldn't let us take an earlier ferry back, hired a tent which got flooded, ended up staying in a sequence of cheap hotels and B&Bs (one owned by a miserable old cow with a portrait of Franco on the wall and wouldn't let us use her cooker), got sunstroke and my feet sunburnt, food poisoning from a Pizza takeaway in Santander and I couldn't speak a word of the language.

Apart from that, it was great.
You are Nick - I claim my £5  whistle:

By all accounts I'm married to his wife, or her long lost twin at least.
noooo:  happy100
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2007, 05:02:15 PM
Swop? A change is as good as a rest
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2007, 06:01:30 PM
Quote from: Mrs. Nick
Swop? A change is as good as a rest
point:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 29, 2007, 06:09:53 PM
Nick, want to give me odds on the boy cracking your password and letting Mrs Nick see that comment  point:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2007, 08:20:39 PM
THE BOY HEAR. MAY DAD IS NUTS AND MY MUM IS WORSE -BNONKERWAS (CANT SPEL PRO[PERLY). NICVE TO SEE YOU AQLL AND OPLEACSE RESCUE ME, THIS LOT ARE DONG MY HEAD IN. HAVE TO HAVE ABATH NOW AGAN. WHY D I HAVE TO IM ANOT THQT DIRTY
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: GROWLER on October 29, 2007, 08:32:41 PM
THE BOY HEAR. MAY DAD IS NUTS AND MY MUM IS WORSE -BNONKERWAS (CANT SPEL PRO[PERLY). NICVE TO SEE YOU AQLL AND OPLEACSE RESCUE ME, THIS LOT ARE DONG MY HEAD IN. HAVE TO HAVE ABATH NOW AGAN. WHY D I HAVE TO IM ANOT THQT DIRTY

Tell that grizzly old b****r of a father of yours, that he's got a damned cheek pulling us all up in here over our pronunciation, spelling and lack of apostrophy's, when he can't even teach those, proper like, that actually live in the same flamin' 'ouse as him!

Now go and have yer bath, and wash behind those ears proper like. OK? ::)
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2007, 08:39:03 PM
IF I AVE TOO BUT ITS ONMLY SDOME NUD AND STUFF. THEY DO GO ONWE ABOUT IT. AND TEETH. I HAVDE LOTS, SO WHY BRUSH THEM ALL LIKE. I CAN DO WITHOUT A FEW AND THEAT FAIRY LEAVESMONEY SO ITS IN MY INTEREST TO LET EM GO.

PARENTSD. BUGGERS
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Misunderstood on October 29, 2007, 11:58:10 PM
 rubschin: 'e doesn't seem to have a problem spelling buggers
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 10:45:38 AM
Somehow I can't imagine anyone living in the Nick household being allowed to get away with that sort of spelling!
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2007, 10:58:14 AM
We were preparing for a spelling test last night. One word was "inaccurate". He got it wrong! noooo:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 11:03:53 AM
Ahhh the irony.
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2007, 11:58:13 AM
Ahhh the irony.
Yes indeed, those shirts are quite creased.
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 12:01:36 PM
I don't do ironing. If you choose to buy things that need it then you do it yourself!
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: chuntering again on October 30, 2007, 01:23:29 PM
Not even sheets and pillow cases? noooo:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 01:23:49 PM
Not even sheets and pillow cases? noooo:

NO!!!
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: chuntering again on October 30, 2007, 01:26:32 PM
Even I iron the sheets, pillow cases and hankies, and I am a gentleman and not designed for housework.  ;)
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: tel on October 30, 2007, 01:27:04 PM
Not even sheets and pillow cases? noooo:

NO!!!

Perhaps you use paper ones then?
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2007, 01:28:14 PM
When the MIL comes we get her ironing. She even irons socks. Weird or what?
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2007, 01:29:32 PM
hankies
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001

Sorry... er.. yes, very sensible. Much better than tissues.  redface:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 01:30:28 PM
Even I iron the sheets, pillow cases and hankies, and I am a gentleman and not designed for housework.  ;)

But they only get wrinkled so really what is the point?
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2007, 01:31:13 PM
Actress and Bishop come to mind!
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: chuntering again on October 30, 2007, 01:35:27 PM
Even I iron the sheets, pillow cases and hankies, and I am a gentleman and not designed for housework.  ;)

But they only get wrinkled so really what is the point?

Because it makes them presentable and more comfortable to lie on. Do you not find your sheets are creased to buggery when they come out of the tumble dryer, or do you not wash them because they'll only get dirty?  razz:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 01:55:18 PM
Don't have a tumble dryer.  eeek:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2007, 02:32:33 PM
When the MIL comes we get her ironing. She even irons socks. Weird or what?
Mrs. Barman irons socks... and towels, sheets, blankets, pillowcases… everything really…  whistle:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 02:33:23 PM
When the MIL comes we get her ironing. She even irons socks. Weird or what?
Mrs. Barman irons socks... and towels, sheets, blankets, pillowcases… everything really…  whistle:

She's a bit OCD isn't she.  eeek:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2007, 02:36:45 PM
When the MIL comes we get her ironing. She even irons socks. Weird or what?
Mrs. Barman irons socks... and towels, sheets, blankets, pillowcases… everything really…  whistle:

She'll probably iron the back of your head when she reads this as well. scared2:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2007, 02:43:54 PM
I guess Berek has a pic of an ironed Willy somewhere sick2:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2007, 02:52:23 PM
When the MIL comes we get her ironing. She even irons socks. Weird or what?
Mrs. Barman irons socks... and towels, sheets, blankets, pillowcases… everything really…  whistle:

She's a bit OCD isn't she.  eeek:
Nooooooooooo!  noooo:




yes
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2007, 02:53:04 PM
When the MIL comes we get her ironing. She even irons socks. Weird or what?
Mrs. Barman irons socks... and towels, sheets, blankets, pillowcases… everything really…  whistle:

She'll probably iron the back of your head when she reads this as well. scared2:
diepig:
Title: Re: The holiday disasters thread (all comers)
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2007, 02:54:28 PM
When the MIL comes we get her ironing. She even irons socks. Weird or what?
Mrs. Barman irons socks... and towels, sheets, blankets, pillowcases… everything really…  whistle:

She'll probably iron the back of your head when she reads this as well. scared2:
diepig:
That's the one!