The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 02:57:21 PM

Title: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 02:57:21 PM
Anyone got these?

Are they likely to warp on me?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ikea.com%2FPIAimages%2F30461_PE118905_S3.jpg&hash=f0a7b5ee03243fdeccf86b5b7b717462bd1dc427)

http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00069768
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2007, 02:58:49 PM
Anyone got these?

Are they likely to warp on me?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ikea.com%2FPIAimages%2F30461_PE118905_S3.jpg&hash=f0a7b5ee03243fdeccf86b5b7b717462bd1dc427)

http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00069768
sleep017
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 30, 2007, 03:00:49 PM
Should be OK as long as you don't put anything on it.  ;)
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on October 30, 2007, 03:01:07 PM
Ikea =  cussing:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2007, 03:02:33 PM
Pile of shite (Mrs Nick bought some - even she put them in the bin)
Title: Wench=7 of 9
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2007, 03:04:58 PM
Anyone got these?

Are they likely to warp on me?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ikea.com%2FPIAimages%2F30461_PE118905_S3.jpg&hash=f0a7b5ee03243fdeccf86b5b7b717462bd1dc427)

http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00069768

Warp as in bend or warp as in go faster than light?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 03:11:27 PM
Warp as in bend.

Really Nick? Don't jest with me.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Misunderstood on October 30, 2007, 03:17:41 PM
Anyone got these?

Are they likely to warp on me?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ikea.com%2FPIAimages%2F30461_PE118905_S3.jpg&hash=f0a7b5ee03243fdeccf86b5b7b717462bd1dc427)

http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00069768



They are ideal for storing toilet tissues, breakfast cereals and Wispa bars on.

Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 03:18:41 PM
That is all I need to know.  eveilgrin:













Well kitchen paraphenalia anyway.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2007, 03:27:04 PM
Pile of IKEA shite

And if she goes to Croydon to buy them she wil also come out with about 10 times more shite
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 03:29:42 PM
You can't fit that much shite in a micra.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2007, 03:43:54 PM
You can't fit that much shite in a micra.
How 'bout the caravan?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2007, 04:05:39 PM
Pile of IKEA shite

And if she goes to Croydon to buy them she wil also come out with about 10 times more shite

And a dent in the Micra.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 30, 2007, 04:11:00 PM
You can't fit that much shite in a micra.
How 'bout the caravan?

Don't have a caravan!  ::)
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2007, 05:01:24 PM
You can't fit that much shite in a micra.
How 'bout the caravan?

Don't have a caravan!  ::)

We all thought you had.  eeek:

Now who started that rumour?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Pastis on October 30, 2007, 05:25:40 PM
If...
Quote
Max load/shelf: 65 kg

x 3 shelves... 195Kgs...

So, if 2 of me plus a sack of potatos sat on it ...  noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2007, 06:39:52 PM
If...
Quote
Max load/shelf: 65 kg

x 3 shelves... 195Kgs...

So, if 2 of me plus a sack of potatos sat on it ...  noooo: noooo:

Something is definitely warped methinks. noooo:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Pastis on October 30, 2007, 06:48:37 PM
If...
Quote
Max load/shelf: 65 kg

x 3 shelves... 195Kgs...

So, if 2 of me plus a sack of potatos sat on it ...  noooo: noooo:

Something is definitely warped methinks. noooo:

I think it would be... if not crushed  noooo:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2007, 04:33:32 AM
You can't fit that much shite in a micra.
How 'bout the caravan?

Don't have a caravan!  ::)

We all thought you had.  eeek:

Now who started that rumour?
shrugs:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 31, 2007, 08:52:36 AM
If...
Quote
Max load/shelf: 65 kg

x 3 shelves... 195Kgs...

So, if 2 of me plus a sack of potatos sat on it ...  noooo: noooo:

I hadn't seen that bit.  redface: Thank-you.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 31, 2007, 08:59:05 AM
If...
Quote
Max load/shelf: 65 kg

x 3 shelves... 195Kgs...

So, if 2 of me plus a sack of potatos sat on it ...  noooo: noooo:

I hadn't seen that bit.  redface: Thank-you.

So if
2xPastis+1xsack of spuds=195
then
AxWench+Bxsack of spuds=195

Calculate how many Wenches and sacks of spuds may safely go on the stand.

Fractional Wenches are not permitted.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 31, 2007, 09:07:58 AM
Wench is not interested in sitting on the stand. Only in putting her small stereo and kitchen crap on it.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on October 31, 2007, 09:40:31 AM
Wench is not interested in sitting on the stand. Only in putting her small stereo and kitchen crap on it.

And keep it the bathroom?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on October 31, 2007, 09:54:45 AM
Wench is not interested in sitting on the stand. Only in putting her small stereo and kitchen crap on it.

And keep it the bathroom?

. . . next to the commode . . .
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 31, 2007, 10:16:44 AM
Wench is not interested in sitting on the stand. Only in putting her small stereo and kitchen crap on it.

And keep it the bathroom?

. . . next to the commode . . .

"Going to the music room" ?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on October 31, 2007, 10:32:13 AM
Wench is not interested in sitting on the stand. Only in putting her small stereo and crap on it.

And keep it the bathroom?

. . . next to the commode . . .

"Going to the music room" ?

Would seem entirely appropriate methinks.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 31, 2007, 10:32:33 AM
 Banghead

It's going to be one of those days isn't it.  eeek:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2007, 10:47:08 AM
Banghead

It's going to be one of those days isn't it.  eeek:
Of course...  whistle:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on October 31, 2007, 11:06:34 AM
Banghead

It's going to be one of those days isn't it.  eeek:

You shouldn't have brought the "Ikea" object into play.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 31, 2007, 11:18:02 AM
Whilst it is, does anyone have an ektorp sofa? Any good?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2007, 11:18:52 AM
Whilst it is, does anyone have an ektorp sofa? Any good?
shrugs:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on October 31, 2007, 11:24:28 AM
Whilst it is, does anyone have an ektorp sofa? Any good?

Any good, for what? redface:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 31, 2007, 11:33:29 AM
Does it last? Or does it fall apart after six months?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on October 31, 2007, 11:37:32 AM
It depends how much wear and tear it gets.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2007, 11:38:40 AM
It depends how much wear and tear it gets.
Indeed...
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on October 31, 2007, 11:46:59 AM
Standard average wear and tear. No kids and no pets.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2007, 11:50:59 AM
Standard average wear and tear. No kids and no pets.
'bout five mins then...
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 31, 2007, 12:19:39 PM
Whilst it is, does anyone have an ektorp sofa? Any good?

We have a Fek'd-torn sofa that the dogs sleep on. Is that the same thing?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 02, 2007, 04:13:32 PM
Ikea tonight!!!

WOO HOO!
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 02, 2007, 04:15:39 PM
Ikea tonight!!!

WOO HOO!

SAD! noooo:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 02, 2007, 04:17:09 PM
You're probably one of those couples who you see standing in the car park, scratching their heads/having a row, cos what they have just bought won't fit in the car! point:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 02, 2007, 04:25:11 PM
I shall look across the common tomorrow morning and see if it's still standing. (working tomorrow!)
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 02, 2007, 04:25:31 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm3.static.flickr.com%2F2263%2F1689930309_aa9fe0005f.jpg%3Fv%3D0&hash=5967fc3881cb7451f1f02e2409de1ccd81bb33ae)

I doubt they're be buying a wardrobe.  ;)
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 02, 2007, 04:27:30 PM
I took down the measurements of the flatpack and Mr Wench assures me it will fit! So there!
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 02, 2007, 04:29:16 PM
I took down the measurements of the flatpack and Mr Wench assures me it will fit! So there!

Did you mean 'flapjack' (chocolate filled)?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 02, 2007, 04:29:51 PM
MMMMMMMMMM yummmmmm
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 02, 2007, 04:30:37 PM
I stand corrected.  confused:

<edit> Just thought...

That does include you still in the car on the return home.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 02, 2007, 04:31:02 PM
MMMMMMMMMM yummmmmm

That sounds like the Head Girl talking. whistle:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 02, 2007, 04:35:59 PM
 sick2:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Snoopy on November 03, 2007, 08:01:00 AM
Point about Ikea stuff is that it is not made to last. If it did they'd be out of business within five years. It is cheap and replaceable.
As Alan Clark(?) said about Hesletine "The sort that has to buy his own furniture" ~ meaning that if you want it to last and become an heirloom then do not buy it from Ikea. If, like us, you recognise that your kids will wreck it anyway and  you live on a pension etc then it is perfectly good stuff but three to five years use is the most you will get out of any of it.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 03, 2007, 09:06:18 AM
Could see the 2 chimneys this morning, although ground level was obscured  by mist. Have seen no panicking locals so assume that everything is still there.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 05, 2007, 02:12:55 PM
Has tat mountain got any bigger?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 02:20:28 PM
Has tat mountain got any bigger?

A smidge. I mostly indulged in my other passion for storage and shelving.  redface:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 05, 2007, 02:22:22 PM
I mostly indulged in my other passion for storage and shelving.  redface:

Does this warrant a new chapter in "Darwin's book of Euphemisms"?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 02:22:49 PM
No because it isn't a euphemism.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 05, 2007, 02:25:29 PM
No because it isn't a euphemism.

Of course not, silly me. redface:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 05, 2007, 02:30:20 PM
Point about Ikea stuff is that it is not made to last ...it is perfectly good stuff but three to five years use is the most you will get out of any of it.

I have a set of Ikea modular wardrobes that must about 15 years old. Still in very good condition despite having been disassembled twice in house moves.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 05, 2007, 02:32:33 PM
Has tat mountain got any bigger?

A smidge. I mostly indulged in my other passion for storage and shelving.  redface:

I did hear the other day of such a thing as a "shelvage bra".
New to me.
Had for gotten that, will have to do a search.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 05, 2007, 02:44:02 PM
Has tat mountain got any bigger?

A smidge. I mostly indulged in my other passion for storage and shelving.  redface:

I did hear the other day of such a thing as a "shelvage bra".
New to me.
Had for gotten that, will have to do a search.

Could it have been "Shellfish" you mis-heard?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.riderstoys.co.uk%2Fimages%2F20258.jpg&hash=a51e8f6bc451efbc37cf63631a0c32da43d9f0d5)
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 02:47:39 PM
Point about Ikea stuff is that it is not made to last ...it is perfectly good stuff but three to five years use is the most you will get out of any of it.

I have a set of Ikea modular wardrobes that must about 15 years old. Still in very good condition despite having been disassembled twice in house moves.

It depends what you purchase from them. If you purchase the £10 coffee table it's going to last a couple of years, if you buy the £100 one it's going to last substantially longer. Or so we've found anyway.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Snoopy on November 05, 2007, 02:55:45 PM
Point about Ikea stuff is that it is not made to last ...it is perfectly good stuff but three to five years use is the most you will get out of any of it.

I have a set of Ikea modular wardrobes that must about 15 years old. Still in very good condition despite having been disassembled twice in house moves.

It depends what you purchase from them. If you purchase the £10 coffee table it's going to last a couple of years, if you buy the £100 one it's going to last substantially longer. Or so we've found anyway.

I assume that you do not have three children + all their friends tramping through your house, sprawling in chairs, jumping on beds and generally wrecking things.
The point about Ikea is that they do not want you to make their products last. They want you to keep buying and have made it fashionable so to do. Try replacing a broken cup or plate two years after you bought the set from them and see where that gets you ... You end up with a new set and an old set that you give to the charity shop because it is one or two pieces short
Look we shop there and have done since they opened the branch at Wembley ~ all I'm saying is that their stock is constantly changing and they do not want you to keep it forever .... they want you to keep buying.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 03:02:05 PM
I agree with you for most of it. But my Mum has stuff that she bought from them over ten years ago that has had teenagers and animals sprawling all over it and it's fine. Not pristine but it isn't falling apart.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2007, 03:03:16 PM
You need a table for coffee?

We use mugs! rubschin:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Snoopy on November 05, 2007, 03:06:07 PM
So Mrs Nick tells me. She says she always sends the Mug to make her coffee.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 03:06:45 PM
We drink tea.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 05, 2007, 03:06:57 PM
The wardrobes are in my bedroom. A safe haven from the children.

One the mirror doors did get cracked during a move. The removal men denied all knowledge of course and we couldn't get a replacement. Ikea finally managed to get a plain door instead.  
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 05, 2007, 03:20:16 PM
5 pages and not on mention of meatballs! sick2:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2007, 03:30:09 PM
So Mrs Nick tells me. She says she always sends the Mug to make her coffee.
drumroll:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 05, 2007, 03:43:10 PM
If you purchase the £10 coffee table it's going to last a couple of years, if you buy the £100 one it's going to last substantially longer. Or so we've found anyway.

If you athletic youngsters restricted the use of your coffee tables to supporting a few cups and the occasional newspaper, they would last a lot longer. whistle:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 03:57:23 PM
5 pages and not on mention of meatballs! sick2:

Are you sure?

You were right!!

Meatballs and chips.  cloud9:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 05, 2007, 04:00:19 PM
5 pages and not on mention of meatballs! sick2:

Are you sure?

You were right!!

Meatballs and chips.  cloud9:

Of course I was sure, and right.
Everybody seems to eat the bloddy things, no matter time of day or night, or they take some home.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 04:02:22 PM
Ate them and brought some home.  redface:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 05, 2007, 04:05:08 PM
Ate them and brought some home.  redface:

Ah, so that's what all the storage and shelvingis really for.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 04:06:24 PM
Noooooo. Only one bag of meatballs.  sad24:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 05, 2007, 04:07:14 PM
Noooooo. Only one bag of meatballs.  sad24:

What, the "feeds 5,000" size?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 04:10:30 PM
No the littlest size.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 05, 2007, 04:14:15 PM
No the littlest size.

Mmmmm?

Do you force Mr Wench to eat them?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 04:14:59 PM
Mr Wench likes them! Although they are for my lunch, not for dinner food.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 05, 2007, 04:16:49 PM
Mr Wench likes them! Although they are for my lunch, not for dinner food.

What, work lunch? Do you bounce em off the walls?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 04:17:48 PM
Mr Wench likes them! Although they are for my lunch, not for dinner food.

What, work lunch? Do you bounce em off the walls?

No they go in my lunch box and I eat them.  redface:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 05, 2007, 04:20:40 PM
Mr Wench likes them! Although they are for my lunch, not for dinner food.

What, work lunch? Do you bounce em off the walls?

No they go in my lunch box and I eat them.  redface:

COLD!?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2007, 04:22:01 PM
She rubs them in her hands. They doubtless expand! eyes:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 04:37:39 PM
Mr Wench likes them! Although they are for my lunch, not for dinner food.

What, work lunch? Do you bounce em off the walls?

No they go in my lunch box and I eat them.  redface:

COLD!?

Yes, with mayonaise.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 05, 2007, 04:41:43 PM
Mr Wench likes them! Although they are for my lunch, not for dinner food.

What, work lunch? Do you bounce em off the walls?

No they go in my lunch box and I eat them.  redface:

COLD!?

Yes, with mayonaise.

Perhaps this is another thread that should stop. Whipped cream cannot be far away!
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 04:43:07 PM
Am I being naive again?  eeek:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Snoopy on November 05, 2007, 04:43:43 PM
I wouldn't say that Wenchy but my mind is boggling. eeek:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 05, 2007, 04:44:31 PM
I wouldn't say that Wenchy but my mind is boggling. eeek:

At what? My liking for cold meatballs with mayonaise?  eeek:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 05, 2007, 05:19:16 PM
 sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 06, 2007, 10:10:11 AM
Am I being naive again?  eeek:

You surely must have learned something from associating with the regulars here.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on November 06, 2007, 10:10:52 AM
No she hasn't. noooo:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 06, 2007, 10:12:19 AM
That's quite worrying.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 06, 2007, 10:32:40 AM
Am I being naive again?  eeek:

You surely must have learned something from associating with the regulars here.

That you can all twist the most innocent of statements into perversion? Yes I have. Sadly the only thing learnt from that is that I should stop posting.

Is that the master plan being discussed in The Boys Only Area?  sad24:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on November 06, 2007, 10:33:37 AM
We are planning a new role for you actually. Bit hush hush though at present.

Do you have your own pole anywhere?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 06, 2007, 11:06:59 AM
We are planning a new role for you actually. Bit hush hush though at present.

Do you have your own pole anywhere?

Should it be leather, rubber, vinyl or pvc attire?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on November 06, 2007, 11:09:05 AM
Being discussed and budget prepared. SHe may need several outfits what with all the sweat and stuff.

Sssssssssssshhhhhhhhh
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 06, 2007, 11:10:40 AM
Plenty of talcum powder then.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 06, 2007, 11:11:07 AM
 scared2:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on November 06, 2007, 11:11:31 AM
Counteracts the Vaseline!
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Bar Wench on November 06, 2007, 11:11:52 AM
 scared2: sick2: scared2:
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 06, 2007, 11:12:21 AM
Prefer baby oil, personally.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on November 06, 2007, 11:12:51 AM
But the sticking point is the industrial rubber gloves (Smearing thereof). Expensive!
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 06, 2007, 11:13:16 AM
Prefer baby oil, personally.
White or brown?
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 06, 2007, 11:18:21 AM
Clear.
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Nick on November 06, 2007, 11:19:24 AM
Clearly!
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 06, 2007, 11:29:44 AM
Obviously
Title: Re: Ikea
Post by: tel on November 06, 2007, 11:38:13 AM
Warmed up, of course.