The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on October 31, 2007, 01:41:51 PM
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I met a man going to St Ives ........those type of riddles.
On a big night out last night one of the girls bought her new BF (they are at the inseparable stage sick2:), he tried to ingratiate himself by appearing ever so smart and entertaining. How - by telling fffing riddles.
Who in this day and age believes riddles are an acceptable form of entertainment - they aren't funny - they aren't original - most aren't even relevent.
Obviously the biggest riddle was why she was with him (but she is at the "he's adorable" stage sick2: Banghead)
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I know some Anglo Saxon ones, but they passed out of fashion at about that time.
Here's one
A strange thing hangs by man's hip,
hidden by a garment. It has a hole
in its head. It is stiff and strong
and its firm bearing reaps a reward.
When the retainer hitches his clothing
high above his knee, he wants the head
of that hanging thing to find the old hole
that it, outstretched, has often filled before.
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Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo noooo:
Please have mercy sad32:
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I met a man going to St Ives ........those type of riddles.
On a big night out last night one of the girls bought her new BF (they are at the inseparable stage sick2:), he tried to ingratiate himself by appearing ever so smart and entertaining. How - by telling fffing riddles.
Who in this day and age believes riddles are an acceptable form of entertainment - they aren't funny - they aren't original - most aren't even relevent.
Obviously the biggest riddle was why she was with him (but she is at the "he's adorable" stage sick2: Banghead)
OH MY GOD!!
1) He so shouldn't have been there
2) If he had to be there he should have been quiet
3) Riddles are not cute!
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On the way a miracle: water become bone.
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OH MY GOD!!
1) He so shouldn't have been there
2) If he had to be there he should have been quiet
3) Riddles are not cute!
I know - totally unacceptable behaviour on her part and he should have just put up and shut up. (was wearing a pringle jumper as well)
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He sounds like a complete pratt
I'm told a certain object grows
in the corner, rises and expands, throws up
a crust. A proud wife carried off
that boneless wonder, the daughter of a king
covered that swollen thing with a cloth.
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OH MY GOD!!
1) He so shouldn't have been there
2) If he had to be there he should have been quiet
3) Riddles are not cute!
I know - totally unacceptable behaviour on her part and he should have just put up and shut up. (was wearing a pringle jumper as well)
Nooooooo!!!! Is she a good friend? Does she show taste in other areas of her life? Is she feeling a tad last chance saloon?
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Pringle jumpers are inciriminating
A woman, young and lovely, often locked me
in a chest; she took me out at times,
lifted me with fair hands and gave me
to her loyal lord, fulfilling his desire.
Then he stuck his head well inside me,
pushed it upwards into the smallest part.
It was my fate, adorned as I was, to be filled
with something rough if that person who possessed me
was virile enough. Now guess what I mean.
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Nooooooo!!!! Is she a good friend? Does she show taste in other areas of her life? Is she feeling a tad last chance saloon?
Yep a good friend - as for the last chance saloon we are all regulars there but even so there are still standards ;D
I believe this was like their 6 or 7th 'date' - in my mind 5 or 6 too many
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If you meet him again humiliate him in some way. He lets down the male side with hs little pringle.
On earth there's a warrior of curious origin.
He's created, gleaming, by two dumb creatures
for the benefit of men. Foe bears him against foe
to inflict harm. Women often fetter him,
strong as he is. If maidens and men
care for him with due consideration
and feed him frequently, he'll faithfully obey them
and serve them well. Men succour him for the warmth
he offers in return; but this warrior will savage
anyone who permits him to become too proud.
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Nooooooo!!!! Is she a good friend? Does she show taste in other areas of her life? Is she feeling a tad last chance saloon?
Yep a good friend - as for the last chance saloon we are all regulars there but even so there are still standards ;D
I believe this was like their 6 or 7th 'date' - in my mind 5 or 6 too many
She needs telling. Riddles, jumpers, it's not long till Christmas. He's the sort that buys cheap red nylon pants!
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He's the sort that buys cheap red nylon pants!
The voice of experience spider:
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He's the sort that buys cheap red nylon pants!
The voice of experience spider:
redface: sad24: redface:
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Poor you.
Worked it out yet?
A strange thing hangs by man's hip,
hidden by a garment. It has a hole
in its head. It is stiff and strong
and its firm bearing reaps a reward.
When the retainer hitches his clothing
high above his knee, he wants the head
of that hanging thing to find the old hole
that it, outstretched, has often filled before.
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I'm not trying to.
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Wimp
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Poor you.
Worked it out yet?
A strange thing hangs by man's hip,
hidden by a garment. It has a hole
in its head. It is stiff and strong
and its firm bearing reaps a reward.
When the retainer hitches his clothing
high above his knee, he wants the head
of that hanging thing to find the old hole
that it, outstretched, has often filled before.
Is it Snoopy?
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No
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No
Is it anything in the slightest bit amusing or illuminating?
Stupid question
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If you are an Anglo Saxon it's prolly hilarious, if not, then no
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A Key
Anglo-Saxon Riddles (http://www.stavacademy.co.uk/mimir/riddles.htm)
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Cheat! Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead censored: censored: censored: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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He's the sort that buys cheap red nylon pants!
The voice of experience spider:
redface: sad24: redface:
Why do I find that funny? lol:
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A Key
Anglo-Saxon Riddles (http://www.stavacademy.co.uk/mimir/riddles.htm)
I knew that. ::)
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Cheat! Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead censored: censored: censored: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
And you had them all memorised whistle:
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Only because your mum told it to you in 770 AD evil:
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Cheat! Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead censored: censored: censored: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
And you had them all memorised whistle:
Oddly enough, yes!
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"Oddly" nuff said eeek:
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Cheat! Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead censored: censored: censored: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
point:
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Mošše word fręt-- me žęt žuhte
A moth ate songs-wolfed words!
wrętlicu wyrd ža ic žęt wundor gefręgn,
That seemed a weird dish-that a worm
žęt se wyrm forswealg wera gied sumes,
Should swallow, dumb thief in the dark,
žeof in žystro, žrymfęstne cwide
The songs of a man, his chants of glory,
ond žęs strangan stažol. Stęlgiest ne węs
Their place of strength. That thief-guest
wihte žy gleawra, že he žam wordum swealg.
Was no wiser for having swallowed words
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You describe yourself methinks. rubschin:
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Metaphorically speaking!
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What is this shite?TM shrugs:
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Anglo Saxon sonny
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Anglo Saxon sonny
I'll keep my nose out then... whistle:
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Hals is min hwit ond heafod fealo,
I am a warrior with a white throat.
sidan swa some. Swift ic eom on feže,
My head and sides are tawny. Two ears
beadowępen bere. Me on bęce standaš
Tower above my eyes. My back and cheeks
her swylce swe on hleorum. Hlifiaš tu
Are furred. I bear battle-weapons.
earan ofer eagum. Ordum ic steppe
5 My gait is swift. I lope through green
5
in grene gręs. Me biš gyrn witod,
Grass on battle-toes. My song is sorrow
gif mec onhęle an onfindeš
If the slaughter-hound scents the narrow
węlgrim wiga, žęr ic wic buge,
Hall where I lie hidden with a brood
bold mid bearnum, ond ic bide žęr
Of children and we wait nestled in the curve
mid geogušcnosle. Hwonne gęst cume
10 Of love while death snuffs at the door.
10
to durum minum, him biž deaš witod;
The dog drags doom-so quick with terror
foržon ic sceal of ešle eaforan mine
I seize my children for a secret flight.
forhtmod fergan, fleame nergan.
If he bellies down, stalking in my chamber,
Gif he me ęfterweard ealles weoržeš--
I cannot choose to fight-that is fools'
hine breost beraš-- ic his bidan ne dear,
15 Counsel-I must tunnel a quick road
15
režes on geruman-- (nele žęt ręd teale)--
Through a steep hill, paw for the light,
ac ic sceal fromlice fežemundum
Rush mothered babes through the burrow
žurh steapne beorg stręte wyrcan.
Safely on secret streets out the hill-hole.
Eaže ic męg freora feorh genergan,
Brood-free I do not fear the hound's rush.
gif ic męgburge mot mine gelędan
20 If the death-foe tracks the fierce mother
20
on degolne weg žurh dunežyrel
Through side streets, he will find
swęse ond gesibbe; ic me sižžan ne žearf
A narrow road through Grimsgate and a hard
węlhwelpes wig wiht onsittan.
Meeting on hilltop as I turn battle-tooth
gif se nišsceaža nearwe stige
And war-claw on the foe I once fled.
me on swaže secež, ne tosęlež him
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on žam gegnpaže gužgemotes,
sižžan ic žurh hylles hrof geręce,
ond žurh hest hrino hildepilum
lašgewinnum, žam že ic longe fleah.
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What a load of bollocks!
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Badger, actually!
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TRIPE!!!!
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In some circumstances, yes redface:
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In other circumstances...
Beowulf the Movie (http://www.beowulfmovie.com/)
Bet it's not as good as the book though.
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Please stop .....you are hurting all my sensitivities
cry:
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Not much harm done there then!
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Cheat! Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead censored: censored: censored: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
And you had them all memorised whistle:
Oddly enough, yes!
This explains a lot, Nick has so many riddles memorised that there is no space left for common sense. That is why he is always causing some cataclysNick event. point: