The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on November 21, 2007, 08:55:56 AM
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I have just walked into the ladies in our office to find that a new piece of equipment has been installed since yesterday ?????
My timing couldn't have been more perfect as walking through I heard a small hissing sound, which confused me for a second as it was perfectly evident there was no one else in there and I was damn sure it wasn't me, only for a second later to be covered in a vapour of disgusterous noxious smells.
They have fitted one of those automatic air freshner thingys that release a 'perfume' every so often.
Who in their right mind thinks that this smells nice. evil:
I have now been bathed in Eau de Toilet - literally - and rather than smelling like an early morning spring I smell like a late night graveyard. cry:
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Air ‘fresheners’ are the work of the devil – along with scented candles… noooo:
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Those things are repulsive!!! Yet another good reason for working for a small company we have a scented candle of a decent variety in our loo. cloud9:
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Air ‘fresheners’ are the work of the devil – along with scented candles… noooo:
No no no Mr Barman you are confusing yourself again......scented candles are mood enhancing lol:
Air freshners are mood provoking evil:
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Air ‘fresheners’ are the work of the devil – along with scented candles… noooo:
No no no Mr Barman you are confusing yourself again......scented candles are mood enhancing lol:
Air freshners are mood provoking evil:
Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
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Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
So you want to take on two women and before 9.30 am . Very impressive eeek:
Did you put too much Red Bull in your Horlicks last night lol:
How do you know it is us that is being controlled and not you?????
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Ahhh no I am controlling the scented candle. I can pick which one according to my mood. The one who is being controlled is Mr Wench! He has no idea of the mood enhancing properties of scented candles. ;)
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Who needs scented candles with this kind of oestrogen rush in the air?
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Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
So you want to take on two women and before 9.30 am . Very impressive eeek:
Did you put too much Red Bull in your Horlicks last night lol:
How do you know it is us that is being controlled and not you?????
'tis somewhat later here... whistle:
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Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
So you want to take on two women and before 9.30 am . Very impressive eeek:
Did you put too much Red Bull in your Horlicks last night lol:
How do you know it is us that is being controlled and not you?????
'tis somewhat later here... whistle:
Have you been out for a refreshing blast on the bike? Feeling the sun on your face? The wind rushing through your .. umm ... scalp?
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Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
So you want to take on two women and before 9.30 am . Very impressive eeek:
Did you put too much Red Bull in your Horlicks last night lol:
How do you know it is us that is being controlled and not you?????
'tis somewhat later here... whistle:
Have you been out for a refreshing blast on the bike? Feeling the sun on your face? The wind rushing through your .. umm ... scalp?
::)
It is pissing down... evil:
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That must be quite painful without a cushion of hair to protect your head. happy100
Blazing sunshine here. point:
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That must be quite painful without a cushion of hair to protect your head. happy100
Blazing sunshine here. point:
::)
Another slaphead 'joke' sleep017
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That must be quite painful without a cushion of hair to protect your head. happy100
Blazing sunshine here. point:
::)
Another slaphead 'joke' sleep017
Sorry. redface:
I do like to flog a dead donkey. Especially bald ones. redface:
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That must be quite painful without a cushion of hair to protect your head. happy100
Blazing sunshine here. point:
::)
Another slaphead 'joke' sleep017
Sorry. redface:
I do like to flog a dead donkey. Especially bald ones. redface:
There may be a compliment in there BM ~ if you look hard enough lol:
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I finished a parenting class last week. The tutor gave each of us a couple of scented candles each as a parting gift. noooo: She did apologise to me and the only other male there. confused:
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That must be quite painful without a cushion of hair to protect your head. happy100
Blazing sunshine here. point:
::)
Another slaphead 'joke' sleep017
Sorry. redface:
I do like to flog a dead donkey. Especially bald ones. redface:
There may be a compliment in there BM ~ if you look hard enough lol:
eyes:
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That must be quite painful without a cushion of hair to protect your head. happy100
Blazing sunshine here. point:
::)
Another slaphead 'joke' sleep017
Sorry. redface:
I do like to flog a dead donkey. Especially bald ones. redface:
There may be a compliment in there BM ~ if you look hard enough lol:
eyes:
He said may be, I can assure you there isn't. noooo:
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Air ‘fresheners’ are the work of the devil – along with scented candles… noooo:
No no no Mr Barman you are confusing yourself again......scented candles are mood enhancing lol:
Air freshners are mood provoking evil:
Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
The only thing they control in me is my sneezing - bastard things. Pot pourri goes into same bin. I cannot abide those craft/art type shops, 2 minutes in one of them and my eyes water, my throat and nose start itching - horrible places, spawn of the devil live in there.
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Air ‘fresheners’ are the work of the devil – along with scented candles… noooo:
No no no Mr Barman you are confusing yourself again......scented candles are mood enhancing lol:
Air freshners are mood provoking evil:
Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
The only thing they control in me is my sneezing - bastard things. Pot pourri goes into same bin. I cannot abide those craft/art type shops, 2 minutes in one of them and my eyes water, my throat and nose start itching - horrible places, spawn of the devil live in there.
At last, the voice of reason… cloud9:
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Air ‘fresheners’ are the work of the devil – along with scented candles… noooo:
No no no Mr Barman you are confusing yourself again......scented candles are mood enhancing lol:
Air freshners are mood provoking evil:
Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
The only thing they control in me is my sneezing - bastard things. Pot pourri goes into same bin. I cannot abide those craft/art type shops, 2 minutes in one of them and my eyes water, my throat and nose start itching - horrible places, spawn of the devil live in there.
I'm with you tel ~ but Mrs Snoopy makes money out of such things and that puts Bonios on the table.
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Air ‘fresheners’ are the work of the devil – along with scented candles… noooo:
No no no Mr Barman you are confusing yourself again......scented candles are mood enhancing lol:
Air freshners are mood provoking evil:
Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
The only thing they control in me is my sneezing - bastard things. Pot pourri goes into same bin. I cannot abide those craft/art type shops, 2 minutes in one of them and my eyes water, my throat and nose start itching - horrible places, spawn of the devil live in there.
Have you visited Lush? You'd love it there. eveilgrin:
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Air ‘fresheners’ are the work of the devil – along with scented candles… noooo:
No no no Mr Barman you are confusing yourself again......scented candles are mood enhancing lol:
Air freshners are mood provoking evil:
Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
The only thing they control in me is my sneezing - bastard things. Pot pourri goes into same bin. I cannot abide those craft/art type shops, 2 minutes in one of them and my eyes water, my throat and nose start itching - horrible places, spawn of the devil live in there.
I'm with you tel ~ but Mrs Snoopy makes money out of such things and that puts Bonios on the table.
Forget the money and get Mrs Snoopy on the table, sod the Bonios.
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rubschin:
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eeek:
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Air ‘fresheners’ are the work of the devil – along with scented candles… noooo:
No no no Mr Barman you are confusing yourself again......scented candles are mood enhancing lol:
Air freshners are mood provoking evil:
Both you and Wenchy are confused – scented candles are the work of the devil… see you don’t even know they are controlling you… noooo:
The only thing they control in me is my sneezing - bastard things. Pot pourri goes into same bin. I cannot abide those craft/art type shops, 2 minutes in one of them and my eyes water, my throat and nose start itching - horrible places, spawn of the devil live in there.
Have you visited Lush? You'd love it there. eveilgrin:
Yes (guessing you don't mean Lush food eating place in Wallington). And all the others, candles r us or whatever. Loads of scented candles in the house, hopefully lit, but they still take my breath away when I open a cupboard or a drawer, having forgotten what might be lurking inside. Banghead
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eeek:
Come on, which would you prefer?
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eeek:
Come on, which would you prefer?
The money. whistle:
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eeek:
Come on, which would you prefer?
The money. whistle:
I have an idea where you could have both. whistle:
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noooo:
My bank accused me of that once. That and drug running. ::)
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Wenchy's a drugs 'mule' point:
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Better not mention Muffin then.
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No ~ best not. point:
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It's going to be one of those days isn't it. noooo:
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Yup! tunble:
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It's going to be one of those days isn't it. noooo:
You started it with Miss D
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You started it with Miss D
Nanananana boxing
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It's going to be one of those days isn't it. noooo:
Doncha just love it!
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It's going to be one of those days isn't it. noooo:
Doncha just love it!
Oh yes!
But when it is not available, I hang around here and make mischief, whistle:
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It's going to be one of those days isn't it. noooo:
Doncha just love it!
Oh yes!
But when it is not available, I hang around here and make mischief, whistle:
You're here rather a lot aren't you.
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Wenchy - re Lush - are you a Pier person as well?
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It's going to be one of those days isn't it. noooo:
Doncha just love it!
Oh yes!
But when it is not available, I hang around here and make mischief, whistle:
You're here rather a lot aren't you.
surrender:
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Wenchy - re Lush - are you a Pier person as well?
Sometimes. Although most of my candle stuff comes from here.
http://www.just-candles.net/manafacturer.asp?MID=5
and I actually burn these instead of candles
http://www.just-candles.net/SubCategory.asp?CID=5&SCID=8&MID=5
you can change the smell more often then.
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Wenchy - re Lush - are you a Pier person as well?
Sometimes. Although most of my candle stuff comes from here.
http://www.just-candles.net/manafacturer.asp?MID=5
and I actually burn these instead of candles
http://www.just-candles.net/SubCategory.asp?CID=5&SCID=8&MID=5
you can change the smell more often then.
I don't really wanto know. Candles ok for ramantic dinner etc, but the rest of the time I don't like them and get a bit paranoid about them being put out properly. I have been in a fire once (not caused by candles) and can get a bit twitchy at times.
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Ever seen the "Scotch Pine" fire video (you can find it on YouTube). And people still put candles on their Christmas Trees...
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Mr Wench is also twitchy about fire. Not because he has been in a fire or anything. I think he just likes twitching.
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Mr Wench is also twitchy about fire. Not because he has been in a fire or anything. I think he just likes twitching.
And I'm sure you delight in helping him ....... errrrr ... twitch eeek:
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I'm twitching today, but I think that is alcohol induced :-(
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noooo:
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. . ramantic dinner . .
rubschin:
Freudian slip or another one for the euphemism book?
Ever seen the "Scotch Pine" fire video (you can find it on YouTube). And people still put candles on their Christmas Trees...
I usually start to pine for Scotch around this time of day. whistle:
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Each to their own. I'm on the Young's :-)
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. . ramantic dinner . .
rubschin:
Freudian slip or another one for the euphemism book?
Ever seen the "Scotch Pine" fire video (you can find it on YouTube). And people still put candles on their Christmas Trees...
I usually start to pine for Scotch around this time of day. whistle:
Must be thinking of the Youngs - did you ever see their adverts that got complained about as being "scary"?
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Mr Wench is also twitchy about fire. Not because he has been in a fire or anything. I think he just likes twitching.
And I'm sure you delight in helping him ....... errrrr ... twitch eeek:
Probably scared of the tat mountain combusting!
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Young's made an advert?
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Sorry, not a tv advert, posters and stuff in papers.
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Wenchy - re Lush - are you a Pier person as well?
The Lush shops are far too overpowering - you do need subtelty in your fragrances rather than the fly killer approach.
But surely the Pier / Cargo shops cannot offend your sensitivities eeek:
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I imagine that there are some fragrances that can be used to repel men.
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Wenchy - re Lush - are you a Pier person as well?
The Lush shops are far too overpowering - you do need subtelty in your fragrances rather than the fly killer approach.
But surely the Pier / Cargo shops cannot offend your sensitivities eeek:
Afraid they do. Sometimes I struggle when visiting the flower/rose marquees at Hampton Court flower show, combination of strong perfume and humid air gets a bit too much for me.
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I imagine that there are some fragrances that can be used to repel men.
That'll be scented candles... ::)
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I imagine that there are some fragrances that can be used to repel men.
Any produced by a child for starters lol:
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Wenchy - re Lush - are you a Pier person as well?
The Lush shops are far too overpowering - you do need subtelty in your fragrances rather than the fly killer approach.
But surely the Pier / Cargo shops cannot offend your sensitivities eeek:
I agree, I think they (the men) put it on in order to get out of the shop ASAP. evil:
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When Mrs S and I ran a pub we set up an "Aftershave Co-ordinating Committee" with the regulars in the public bar. Honestly the stench in there on a Friday Night was appalling and on Boxing Day even worse.
That and the awful New Jumpers they were all wearing was too much to take on an empty stomach. Several Gins and a dash of tonic were needed to even get me in there over the "Festive" season.
One guy in particular used something that we dubbed "Eau De Vapona" and I swear the b@st@rd bathed in it every Friday night before coming out to get steamed. ..... He was the one that turned up one Boxing Day wearing a musical tie and a jumper with reindeer on. The collective laughter drove him out before he even reached the bar.
I mean ~ what sort of family can do that to their breadwinner?
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Don't. Some pratt bought me some musical socks one Christmas. In a nurry to get to a meeting one day I put them on by mistake.
Every time I moved my feet everyone in the meeting had to listen to 30 seconds of Jingle Bells. noooo:
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Wenchy - re Lush - are you a Pier person as well?
The Lush shops are far too overpowering - you do need subtelty in your fragrances rather than the fly killer approach.
But surely the Pier / Cargo shops cannot offend your sensitivities eeek:
I agree, I think they (the men) put it on in order to get out of the shop ASAP. evil:
I try not to go in, but once inside and the sneezing starts, it's straight out of the door.
Talking of sneezing is anyone else afflicted by reactions to certain smells tastes etc. For me, bright lights and sweet things can sometimes trigger really horrible and violent bouts of sneezing.
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Wenchy - re Lush - are you a Pier person as well?
The Lush shops are far too overpowering - you do need subtelty in your fragrances rather than the fly killer approach.
But surely the Pier / Cargo shops cannot offend your sensitivities eeek:
I agree, I think they (the men) put it on in order to get out of the shop ASAP. evil:
I try not to go in, but once inside and the sneezing starts, it's straight out of the door.
Talking of sneezing is anyone else afflicted by reactions to certain smells tastes etc. For me, bright lights and sweet things can sometimes trigger really horrible and violent bouts of sneezing.
Sunlight does it to me.
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For my Mum it seems to be overeating.
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For my Mum it seems to be overeating.
eeek: eeek: eeek:
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For my Mum it seems to be overeating.
eeek: eeek: eeek:
That makes her sneeze. ::) If she has a large dinner she has a snezzing fit afterwards.
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Snezzing?
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That was a typo! You know I meant ssnezzing
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Does she wriggle on the floor?
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Wenchy - re Lush - are you a Pier person as well?
The Lush shops are far too overpowering - you do need subtelty in your fragrances rather than the fly killer approach.
But surely the Pier / Cargo shops cannot offend your sensitivities eeek:
I agree, I think they (the men) put it on in order to get out of the shop ASAP. evil:
I try not to go in, but once inside and the sneezing starts, it's straight out of the door.
Talking of sneezing is anyone else afflicted by reactions to certain smells tastes etc. For me, bright lights and sweet things can sometimes trigger really horrible and violent bouts of sneezing.
Sunlight does it to me.
Ever had glandular fever?
I was told recently that it can leave photo-sensitive.
Even shop spolights and car headlights can set me off.
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Does she wriggle on the floor?
Only if you don't feed her.
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Mrs Snoopy is a sneezer from a family of sneezers ~ she always sneezes in sets of three. Her mother manages four in a row every time and her sister has a permanent sniffle (which drives me up the wall evil:)
Actually I don't mind the scented candles and I do use a lot of Incense sticks.
Mrs Snoopy makes soap and the unguents that she uses to "flavour" that can be a bit much at times (hence my earlier comment about putting Bonios on the table)
No ~ I haven't had glandular fever but sunshine has always made me sneeze. Photochromatic(sp?) lenses in the specs stop that from being a problem.
On the subject of car headlights ~ My Godmother wrote to me last year to tell me (she is 83) that she has had her cataracts sorted and could drive again ~ however she found that driving at night caused her problems with all the headlights reflecting off her mirrors, specs etc. ~ Her solution to this problem was to pull a woolly bedsock over each of her door mirrors when she went out at night eeek: So if you are ever in the Edenbridge area and see an elderly lady with pink bedsocks festooned on her external mirrors ~ say hello from me.
She used to be a School Teacher and then a Head of a Village School. When I was a boy she used to send my "Thank you" letters back corrected!!!! Bless her heart, I love the old dear.
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My Godmother wrote to me last year to tell me (she is 83) that she has had her cataracts sorted and could drive again ~ however she found that driving at night caused her problems with all the headlights reflecting off her mirrors, specs etc. ~ Her solution to this problem was to pull a woolly bedsock over each of her door mirrors when she went out at night
I must remember that excuse the next time I get stopped driving at night with a pair of tights over my head. rubschin:
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I sneeze rarely but I always do the Aaaaaaaaaa- Choo thing. I really wind myself up evil:
I have tried to think of other words but it is always too late but the time my thoughts catch up with my actions cry:
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I sneeze rarely but I always do the Aaaaaaaaaa- Choo thing. I really wind myself up evil:
I have tried to think of other words but it is always too late but the time my thoughts catch up with my actions cry:
Scraping your brain off the opposite wall takes a while also.