The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on January 07, 2008, 12:00:49 PM
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I have just done it! I feel terribly grown up!! Pity that the solicitor was wearing the most absurd red shiny wig! He came to see us out. It was still blustery outside. I feared for it, I really did. evil:
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Beware of piano wires across the stairs and slip the cat a little of any meal served to you by Mrs Nick before you eat any yourself. whistle:
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We discussed all that stuff. What with one thing and another The Boy will be a millionaire when we die (we haven't told him). More worryingly Mrs Nick will be able to live in comfort when I die (not "pass on" as the idiot solicitor said - see also "When something happens to one of us........" "YOu mean like death?"). Mrs Nick asked too many questions for my liking about Inheritance Tax evil:
It's in trust till he's 25!! Otherwise he would blow it on sweets and Doctor Who trading cards angry041:
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We discussed all that stuff. What with one thing and another The Boy will be a millionaire when we die (we haven't told him). More worryingly Mrs Nick will be able to live in comfort when I die (not "pass on" as the idiot solicitor said - see also "When something happens to one of us........" "YOu mean like death?"). Mrs Nick asked too many questions for my liking about Inheritance Tax evil:
It's in trust till he's 25!! Otherwise he would blow it on sweets and Doctor Who trading cards angry041:
Well that probably makes you feel that it has all been worthwhile.
I shall leave little when my time comes ~ Mrs#1 took everything at the divorce ...... then ill health denied the opportunity to reaccumulate. The house is mainly in Mrs#2's name as it was advised that given the age difference and my health it mght make things easier. I think only 10% of the house value is in my "estate" and of course the health issues mean that there is little life insurance. Hence the "provision" she is currently making by updating her qualifications.
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It's in trust till he's 25!! Otherwise he would blow it on sweets and Doctor Who trading cards angry041:
What do you expect he will spend it on at 25?
Porsche, Rolex, whores or Ganja?
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That too is taken care of. Anyhow, how he chooses to blow my hard earned will be his business. I wish him fun! lol:
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That too is taken care of. Anyhow, how he chooses to blow my hard earned will be his business. I wish him fun! lol:
rubschin:
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Mine is in trust till I'm 35. sad24:
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Some people are in a truss for life.
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Excellent idea. We can still amend the draft. What happens when you are 35? Toyboys, yachts, odd cockctails?
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Some people are in a truss for life.
My sympathies! evil:
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Excellent idea. We can still amend the draft. What happens when you are 35? Toyboys, yachts, odd cockctails?
Buy a house! Mother Wench has said in hindsight I could probably have had mine a little earlier but in the interest of fairness my Bro and I had to be the same. ::) Banghead ::)
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Or a better car eveilgrin:
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Why would Mr Wench get anything from my trust fund? eeek:
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Ummmmmmmmmmmmm
Because you have captured him and he is yours to dally with?
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Ummmmmmmmmmmmm
Because you have captured him and he is yours to dally with?
Dally you say? rubschin:
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I fear for him noooo:
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There are times he fears for himself! eveilgrin:
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Rightly!
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I have just done it! I feel terribly grown up!! Pity that the solicitor was wearing the most absurd red shiny wig! He came to see us out. It was still blustery outside. I feared for it, I really did. evil:
I have to admit, given the daily flow of cataclysNick events you regale us with I would have thought you'd have made a will long before now. eeek:
Why would Mr Wench get anything from my trust fund? eeek:
I was under the impression that your trust fund was going towards the construction of a massive pyramid like tomb for you as it would be the only way you could take the tat mountain with you when the time comes. whistle:
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Quite!
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My dad left me his gas bill... bastard cussing:
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Mine left instructions to bury him at the bottom of the garden and inform the world he has run off with another woman. All this so we wouldn't have to pay inheritance tax.
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You're better off stuffed and mounted.
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You're better off stuffed and mounted.
In any order.
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Mine left instructions to bury him at the bottom of the garden and inform the world he has run off with another woman. All this so we wouldn't have to pay inheritance tax.
How could he run off with another woman if he was buried at the bottom of the garden? rubschin:
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Think "canoeist" noooo:
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Think "canoeist" noooo:
How could he paddle off with another woman if he was buried at the bottom of the garden? rubschin:
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Barman's remaining brain cell develops a fault
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Mine left instructions to bury him at the bottom of the garden and inform the world he has run off with another woman. All this so we wouldn't have to pay inheritance tax.
How could he run off with another woman if he was buried at the bottom of the garden? rubschin:
He's a dwarf - v good at tunneling.
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The world has gone mad noooo:
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Mine left instructions to bury him at the bottom of the garden and inform the world he has run off with another woman. All this so we wouldn't have to pay inheritance tax.
How could he run off with another woman if he was buried at the bottom of the garden? rubschin:
Plan of action was
1) HE DIES
2) We bury him in the garden
3) We tell everyone he ran off with another woman
4) We donn't have to pay death duties/ inheritance tax
5) Wenchy and Brother go to jail for improper disposal of a dead body
Banghead
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I understood that idea. Excellent. We are surrounded by idiots. noooo:
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I understood that idea. Excellent. We are surrounded by idiots. noooo:
It certainly seems so. noooo:
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Good plan apart from item 5.
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We should have a part of the board for non-idiots to contribute to. It would be quite quiet though
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Good plan apart from item 5.
Ah, I couldn't be arsed to read that far.
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Mine left instructions to bury him at the bottom of the garden and inform the world he has run off with another woman. All this so we wouldn't have to pay inheritance tax.
How could he run off with another woman if he was buried at the bottom of the garden? rubschin:
He's a dwarf - v good at tunneling.
rubschin:
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Good plan apart from item 5.
Ah, I couldn't be arsed to read that far.
My Dad couldn't be arsed to think that far!
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Barman seems to a few posts behind the rest of us ;)
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Well said. Hangover I spect
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No... sober last night... noooo:
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Well said. Hangover I spect
No he is just stupid. It's the lack of hair you see. The brain gets cold and lonely.
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Well there's your problem then!
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point:
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So have you made a will?
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Well there's your problem then!
I don't get it. redface:
And yes I have.
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I meant Barman.
This thread is a disaster. noooo:
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I meant Barman.
This thread is a disaster. noooo:
I have two wills... one for the UK and one for Cyprus... or something... whistle:
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Well there's your problem then!
I don't get it. redface:
And yes I have.
Funeral arrangements?
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I meant Barman.
This thread is a disaster. noooo:
Ahhhhh.
It needs to be a registered disaster zone and then we can get financial aid!
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Well there's your problem then!
I don't get it. redface:
And yes I have.
Funeral arrangements?
I have a living will, I've made funeral arrangements and I have a normal will.
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Do pray describe your funeral arrangements unto us. A pyre onto which Mr Wench hurls himself perhaps? A longboat? Stripped by vultures (see also cruelty to vultures)?
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Do pray describe your funeral arrangements unto us. A pyre onto which Mr Wench hurls himself perhaps? A longboat? Stripped by vultures?
I want to be cremated.
I want no religious ceremony what so ever.
I want no one to wear black
I want a HUGE piss up and no weeping and wailing
Anyone who mentions god is to be kicked out
I want my teddy bear burnt with me. redface:
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Don't you like your teddy then? Tsk
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I love my teddy! That is why he is going with me!
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I want to be cremated and have one last thrill ride up a Dyson…
But if I peg it here I will be buried the next day in the new village cemetery…
Or something like that…
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Makes perfect sense
noooo:
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I want to be cremated and have one last thrill ride up a Dyson…
But if I peg it here I will be buried the next day in the new village cemetery…
Or something like that…
Or under the patio! eveilgrin:
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I want to be cremated and have one last thrill ride up a Dyson…
But if I peg it here I will be buried the next day in the new village cemetery…
Or something like that…
Why would you not be there?
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Now she is talking rubbish. What is going on today? Of course you are there when you die (briefly).
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Why wouldn't he be in Cyprus you pillock!
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I want to be cremated and have one last thrill ride up a Dyson…
But if I peg it here I will be buried the next day in the new village cemetery…
Or something like that…
Why would you not be there?
Well, if perchance I came to the UK, had a get-together with the fine fellows on this board and was having such a good time that my heart gave out… whistle:
Unlikely I admit… noooo:
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Are you buying?
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Are you coughing up for the booze?
I'm still waiting for my wedding invitation by the way!!!
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Are you keen to meet up or see me die? rubschin:
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It's a win win situation really.
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point:
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sad24:
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Well there's your problem then!
I don't get it. redface:
And yes I have.
Seriously thinking about paying for mine now.
Funeral arrangements?
I have a living will, I've made funeral arrangements and I have a normal will.
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If you can afford to do so then why not. I fully intend to when I can and then no bugger can cock it up!
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I am sure Mr Wench is already planning it!
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Having arranged one last year (FIL), was looking at sorting out one in advance for MIL, but she went before we could do anything. It is a good deal and you can even pay in instalments over 12 months.
Morbid? NO. Practical? YES.
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I am sure Mr Wench is already planning it!
He can't! I have!
I refuse to sprinkled at Ninian Park!
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My mother's will specified she wanted her ashes scattered. Trouble is, she didn't say where noooo:
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I am sure Mr Wench is already planning it!
He can't! I have!
I refuse to sprinkle at Ninian Park!
eeek:
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I too thought that but left someone else to remark on it. SHe has taken leave of her wits
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ah, wits you say. Misread that at first.
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She has taken leave of her wits
There is a flaw in that idea.
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Like assuming she had them in the first place!
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Like assuming she had them in the first place!
happ096
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We agree then.
OK?
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I want to be cremated and have one last thrill ride up a Dyson…
But if I peg it here I will be buried the next day in the new village cemetery…
Or something like that…
And then be dug up?
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By whom?
LL has some sort of blowing machine I hear
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It's what they do - recycle the coffin.
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It's what they do - recycle the coffin.
sick2:
We’ve been to one funeral here – it was all pretty ghastly…
They took the lid off the coffin for the burial and then hoiked the earth in on top of the body – I’m not aware that they are in to recycling.
The thing I do like here is that it’s a next-day job (not Nexday the courier, you’d never get buried). I don’t know why it takes weeks to find a ‘slot’ in the UK.
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My mother's will specified she wanted her ashes scattered. Trouble is, she didn't say where noooo:
MIL was very specific, dead center of the English Chanel between UK and France. We crept to the stern of the ferry, took off the lid and started to sprinkle the ashes. There was a gust of wind... eeek: I don't need to finish this story... do I. noooo: