The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on January 08, 2008, 12:49:33 PM
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1 Vomit filled laptop
1 missing TV aerial (storm)
1 eye-popping estimate for more roof repairs
1 eye-popping estimate for decoration
1 hormonal Mrs Nick
1 The Boy up half the night playing online games in secret evil:
and now my car has packed up! evil:
Oh yes, and 1 The Boy setting off the fire alarm at school evil: evil: evil:
January 8th!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Avg = 1 a day. Not bad going.
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All since the weekend. And it's only effing Tuesday Banghead
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You need help!
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Odd you should say that!
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Odd you should say that!
point:
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evil:
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evil:
Shall I change it back? whistle:
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Pardon?
Does anyone else know what he is blathering on about?
I am surrounded by idiots!
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Pardon?
Does anyone else know what he is blathering on about?
I am surrounded by idiots!
So it doesn't say 'I need help' when you type in that word... whistle:
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Which word? rubschin:
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Which word? rubschin:
The word that changes to 'I need help' when you type it in... ::)
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I have completely lost the plot here. What are you on about?
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I have completely lost the plot here. What are you on about?
Oh, nothing... whistle:
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As I thought.
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As I thought.
whistle:
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Is that only for Nick?
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I have not a clue what he is on about.
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Is that only for Nick?
No... noooo:
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He is talking rubbish. Anyway, enough of me. How is everyone else's frightful New Year going? Eh? Eh? eveilgrin:
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It's pants. sad24:
I have a squint and a lazy eye. sad24:
Am just waiting to hear what the doctor says is wrong with me this evening. sad24:
No doubt I am also going deaf. sad24:
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Just the eye?
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In addition to the normal laziness.
I went to the leisure centre last night to go swimming. Do you think going once qualifies as keeping my resolution? rubschin:
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No. Did the pool overflow when you got in?
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evil:
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Ours is fine thanks... whistle:
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No. Did the pool overflow when you got in?
Sorry but lol: lol: lol:
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Ours is fine thanks... whistle:
FECK OFF!!!
I have flights booked to Spain for Feburary! cloud9:
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No smuggling then! eveilgrin:
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Evenin' all. Mine (New Year) was going fine until about 90 minutes ago when we had a power cut confused:
Or power outage / failure / stoppage, or whatever is the current euphemism ::)
Total blackness, silence, apart from the smoke alarms squeaking at me every 30 seconds or so. Reminds me that I am totally and utterly reliant on electricity cry:
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Not bad so far.....
Booked a holiday
Got my new camera
New office totty started this week. He is lurvelyyyyyyyy cloud9: Honestly just got so much inducting to do with him this week ;).
Booked a week off work in January , one in Febuary and one in March and I still have leave I need to use up before April ;D
Bought some new clobber in the sales redface:
Good friend is out of hospital after being admitted on Christmas eve and is recovering well - there were concerns this was not going to happen
Still no parcels though cry:
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Not bad so far.....
Booked a holiday
Got my new camera
New office totty started this week. He is lurvelyyyyyyyy cloud9: Honestly just got so much seducting to do with him this week ;).
There you go Miss D, corrected it for you eyes:
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No. Did the pool overflow when you got in?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq3TtXh9.jpg&hash=f6e8cdcc99878d4f18afda4d8f4a798b7fe14a59) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq3TtXh9)
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There you go Miss D, corrected it for you eyes:
Thanks GM - but that would be awfully unprofessional and lets face it bloody unlikely lol:
I shall just enjoy the eye candy and be grateful cloud9:
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2008 is wonderful, I feel like bursting into some jovial song similar to 'Jingle Bells'
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Not too bad so far, but I will let you know after the "big" announcement in the office on Thursday. With any luck, the date of my redundancy will be brought forward. Hopefully by a lot!
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2008 is wonderful, I feel like bursting into some jovial song similar to 'Jingle Bells'
Please don't... noooo:
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Oh cry: I was so looking forward to it.
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Diff'rent year ~ same shit for me so far evil:
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Oh cry: I was so looking forward to it.
You can look forward to it... in December... whistle:
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Evenin' all. Mine (New Year) was going fine until about 90 minutes ago when we had a power cut confused:
Or power outage / failure / stoppage, or whatever is the current euphemism ::)
Total blackness, silence, apart from the smoke alarms squeaking at me every 30 seconds or so. Reminds me that I am totally and utterly reliant on electricity cry:
So what does your computer run on then? Gas?
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Evenin' all. Mine (New Year) was going fine until about 90 minutes ago when we had a power cut confused:
Or power outage / failure / stoppage, or whatever is the current euphemism ::)
Total blackness, silence, apart from the smoke alarms squeaking at me every 30 seconds or so. Reminds me that I am totally and utterly reliant on electricity cry:
So what does your computer run on then? Gas?
P'raps he's using lap-top with a charged battery in it (instead of vomit). Telephones lines are usually unaffected by local power cuts so the technology of communication does enable posting duting a power failure. whistle:
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Oh cry: I was so looking forward to it.
You can look forward to it... in December... whistle:
Not even a little one... please...? .....la la lalla
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1 eye-popping estimate for more roof repairs
Can we expect to hear you have another estimate on the way?
A practice bomb has gone missing from an aircraft on a routine training flight in Lincolnshire.
Ministry of Defence (MoD) officials believe the bomb was lost by a Harrier from RAF Wittering flying to the Holbeach drop zone.
A ground search of the flight path was ongoing on Tuesday night and police have been informed.
Anyone finding the light blue practice bomb with brown tape around the bottom of it should contact police.
'Small explosive'
The RAF said it was "highly likely" it had landed harmlessly in the sea or on land within the drop zone, but the possibility of it falling into land outside the target area could not be discounted.
An RAF spokesman said: "We are very aware of the risks of flying and safety remains one of our highest priorities.
"An investigation has been convened to determine the cause of the bomb's release.
"A small amount of explosive is contained in the device - roughly in comparison with a commercial firework."
I just have an image Nick Towers with a practice bomb sticking out of the roof now point:
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Come friendly bomb. At least the insurance would pay up then evil:
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Oh cry: I was so looking forward to it.
You can look forward to it... in December... whistle:
Not even a little one... please...? .....la la lalla
No! Banghead
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Come friendly bomb. At least the insurance would pay up then evil:
Careful, knowing your luck it would be the roof of Mrs Nick's new car that ir goes through happy001
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Oh cry: I was so looking forward to it.
You can look forward to it... in December... whistle:
Not even a little one... please...? .....la la lalla
He will come round and cut off your clapper at the sound of the first tinkle.
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Things are looking up. A lady call Eileen Kilgore has e mailed to let me know that my "love stick" can be doubled in size to make Mrs Nick "scream" with delight.
Does anyone know this Ms Kilgore asnd has anyone taken her up on her strange offer?
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You'll end up walking in a very strange fashion!
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Oh dear. HOw do you cope with that then?
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I had 67 such emails overnight, last night. cussing:
Deal with them by pressing the delete button.
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I can 'gain the greatest schlong ever' according to Alvaro U. Glenn eeek:
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I can 'gain the greatest schlong ever' according to Alvaro U. Glenn eeek:
I considered replying to all 67 and having the biggest x 67 but what would I do with it? whistle:
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I can 'gain the greatest schlong ever' according to Alvaro U. Glenn eeek:
I considered replying to all 67 and having the biggest x 67 but what would I do with it? whistle:
rubschin:
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Rock hard boner in not an unachievable dream!
According to Marrianne Lilly...
I suppose she should know?
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Just checked my in box ~ another 28 of the b@st@rds Banghead
All marked by my Spam Filter as "Junk". If it knows they are Junk why doesn't it censored: dispose of them?
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I can 'gain the greatest schlong ever' according to Alvaro U. Glenn eeek:
I considered replying to all 67 and having the biggest x 67 but what would I do with it? whistle:
Trip up, very often.
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I just got an e-mail from a guy I know in the 'States with the title: -
Possible Virus Do not open e mails from me
doh:
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How very American ~ even if he isn't he has clearly been infected by association ...............
Still it all helps keep the clever/dumb world in balance ::)
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A spam e-mail from another forum... point:
How are you?
As you saw in the message that i sent to you before, Someone that is
really close to you want you DEAD. We were paid to KILL/ASSASINATE you.
Now You have just two options, either to LIVE OR DIE. If you want to
LIVE, then you are to pay USD 10,000 Dollards for we to spare your life.
But if you don't pay this mentioned amount of money that means you have
to DIE, We have no option than to KILL you.
I must inform you that we have no time to waste. You have to be fast in
every thing you do because the person who want you DEAD will soon ask
about the mission to KILL/ASSASINATE you.
WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELL ANYONE
BECAUSE I WILL KNOW. REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU
DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING
FUNNY. DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:30PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU
AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD
AFTER YOU HAVE COMPLIED WITH MY DEMANDS, THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE
ANY LEGAL ACTION.
GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.
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A spam e-mail from another forum... point:
How are you?
As you saw in the message that i sent to you before, Someone that is
really close to you want you DEAD. We were paid to KILL/ASSASINATE you.
Now You have just two options, either to LIVE OR DIE. If you want to
LIVE, then you are to pay USD 10,000 Dollards for we to spare your life.
But if you don't pay this mentioned amount of money that means you have
to DIE, We have no option than to KILL you.
I must inform you that we have no time to waste. You have to be fast in
every thing you do because the person who want you DEAD will soon ask
about the mission to KILL/ASSASINATE you.
WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELL ANYONE
BECAUSE I WILL KNOW. REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU
DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING
FUNNY. DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:30PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU
AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD
AFTER YOU HAVE COMPLIED WITH MY DEMANDS, THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE
ANY LEGAL ACTION.
GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.
rubschin: I don't remember sending them that.
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A spam e-mail from another forum... point:
How are you?
As you saw in the message that i sent to you before, Someone that is
really close to you want you DEAD. We were paid to KILL/ASSASINATE you.
Now You have just two options, either to LIVE OR DIE. If you want to
LIVE, then you are to pay USD 10,000 Dollards for we to spare your life.
But if you don't pay this mentioned amount of money that means you have
to DIE, We have no option than to KILL you.
I must inform you that we have no time to waste. You have to be fast in
every thing you do because the person who want you DEAD will soon ask
about the mission to KILL/ASSASINATE you.
WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELL ANYONE
BECAUSE I WILL KNOW. REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU
DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING
FUNNY. DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:30PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU
AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD
AFTER YOU HAVE COMPLIED WITH MY DEMANDS, THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE
ANY LEGAL ACTION.
GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.
rubschin: I don't remember sending them that.
You would have at least used the spelling checker first... ::)
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I wouldn't.
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I wouldn't.
What, contact the police? ::)
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Spell check it
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Spell check it
Oh... shrugs:
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rubschin: Does this mean we have found the sender I wonder.
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rubschin: Does this mean we have found the sender I wonder.
whistle:
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rubschin: Does this mean we have found the sender I wonder.
Indeed... rubschin:
She has just booked holiday flights... whistle:
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I just got an e-mail from a guy I know in the 'States with the title: -
Possible Virus Do not open e mails from me
doh:
I expect to see a post from Nick in the computers section in the near future then whistle:
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I just got an e-mail from a guy I know in the 'States with the title: -
Possible Virus Do not open e mails from me
doh:
I expect to see a post from Nick in the computers section in the near future then whistle:
Well if you do DON'T OPEN IT!
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The Halifax have informed me that my account will close if I dont remind them of my bank details, I dont even bank with them..
oh, and a Ms Kilgore reckons she can double the size of my cheesy wotsit... that'll be 4 inches to make Meg scream rubschin:
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I had 67 such emails overnight, last night. cussing:
Deal with them by pressing the delete button.
The few I get, I deal with by not opening, blocking sender and bouncing to sender, you then do not get any more from that source at least. whistle:
Never had any spam or junk mail until a little while ago, when someone I know, who is signed up with an online dating club, must have given it my details, since then I have had all sorts of junk. noooo:
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I had 67 such emails overnight, last night. cussing:
Deal with them by pressing the delete button.
The few I get, I deal with by not opening, blocking sender and bouncing to sender, you then do not get any more from that source at least. whistle:
Never had any spam or junk mail until a little while ago, when someone I know, who is signed up with an online dating club, must have given it my details, since then I have had all sorts of junk. noooo:
Right! I figure my sudden upsurge in this junk has come about because of internet shopping pre Christmas. Some b@st@rd out there, not content with taking my money, has sold their database of email addresses collected to enable "confirmation of order". Once they sell the address to someone then onward selling clearly happens.
rubschin: Lesson learned. Pre Christmas create a Googlemail/Hotmail/Yahoo address, use it over the shopping period and once all goods are received cancel the account.
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I had 67 such emails overnight, last night. cussing:
Deal with them by pressing the delete button.
The few I get, I deal with by not opening, blocking sender and bouncing to sender, you then do not get any more from that source at least. whistle:
Never had any spam or junk mail until a little while ago, when someone I know, who is signed up with an online dating club, must have given it my details, since then I have had all sorts of junk. noooo:
Right! I figure my sudden upsurge in this junk has come about because of internet shopping pre Christmas. Some b@st@rd out there, not content with taking my money, has sold their database of email addresses collected to enable "confirmation of order". Once they sell the address to someone then onward selling clearly happens.
rubschin: Lesson learned. Pre Christmas create a Googlemail/Hotmail/Yahoo address, use it over the shopping period and once all goods are received cancel the account.
happ096
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Pre Christmas create a Googlemail/Hotmail/Yahoo address, use it over the shopping period and once all goods are received cancel the account.
Very clever. ;D
You are obviously good for more than fetching sticks and humping Vicar's legs.
Have another bonio.
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Rather have the vicar ~ she's got quite a leg.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.garethjmsaunders.co.uk%2Ftte%2Fvestments%2Fimages%2Fwp_inflate.jpg&hash=e1bf9216f8ece27054066ee83bc9d1b7f0a970e6)
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Rather have the vicar ~ she's got quite a leg.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicroom.com%2Fimages%2Fcatalogue%2Fproductpage%2F057152091X.jpg&hash=3dc44b173338813cc030d708daba3aecff474536)
Yes indeed. ::)
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Is the first one a photoshopped version of the second?
1. I would
2. I would suffocate
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I had 67 such emails overnight, last night. cussing:
Deal with them by pressing the delete button.
The few I get, I deal with by not opening, blocking sender and bouncing to sender, you then do not get any more from that source at least. whistle:
Never had any spam or junk mail until a little while ago, when someone I know, who is signed up with an online dating club, must have given it my details, since then I have had all sorts of junk. noooo:
Right! I figure my sudden upsurge in this junk has come about because of internet shopping pre Christmas. Some b@st@rd out there, not content with taking my money, has sold their database of email addresses collected to enable "confirmation of order". Once they sell the address to someone then onward selling clearly happens.
rubschin: Lesson learned. Pre Christmas create a Googlemail/Hotmail/Yahoo address, use it over the shopping period and once all goods are received cancel the account.
happ096
Well, DUH! Doesn't everyone do that? eeek:
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I had 67 such emails overnight, last night. cussing:
Deal with them by pressing the delete button.
The few I get, I deal with by not opening, blocking sender and bouncing to sender, you then do not get any more from that source at least. whistle:
Never had any spam or junk mail until a little while ago, when someone I know, who is signed up with an online dating club, must have given it my details, since then I have had all sorts of junk. noooo:
Right! I figure my sudden upsurge in this junk has come about because of internet shopping pre Christmas. Some b@st@rd out there, not content with taking my money, has sold their database of email addresses collected to enable "confirmation of order". Once they sell the address to someone then onward selling clearly happens.
rubschin: Lesson learned. Pre Christmas create a Googlemail/Hotmail/Yahoo address, use it over the shopping period and once all goods are received cancel the account.
happ096
Well, DUH! Doesn't everyone do that? eeek:
Of course... redface:
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I had 67 such emails overnight, last night. cussing:
Deal with them by pressing the delete button.
The few I get, I deal with by not opening, blocking sender and bouncing to sender, you then do not get any more from that source at least. whistle:
Never had any spam or junk mail until a little while ago, when someone I know, who is signed up with an online dating club, must have given it my details, since then I have had all sorts of junk. noooo:
Right! I figure my sudden upsurge in this junk has come about because of internet shopping pre Christmas. Some b@st@rd out there, not content with taking my money, has sold their database of email addresses collected to enable "confirmation of order". Once they sell the address to someone then onward selling clearly happens.
rubschin: Lesson learned. Pre Christmas create a Googlemail/Hotmail/Yahoo address, use it over the shopping period and once all goods are received cancel the account.
happ096
Well, DUH! Doesn't everyone do that? eeek:
Ok smarty-thong, you obviously got off to a good start today.
I fortell a day of Wench baiting.
evil:
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Is the first one a photoshopped version of the second?
1. I would
2. I would suffocate
No
1. So would I
2. But what a way to go ;D
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1. Prolly
2. No. I go for the size 8 type redface:
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1) If I prayed hard enough could I?
2) No thanks
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If I preyed hard enough could I?
No, but I fixed it for you anyway.
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Today is "big announcement day". All departments are being called in separately, as closure of the building is in stages.
The first lot in (about 85 people) originally thought they would be here until June 2009 - this has now been moved forward to October 2008. There have been tears and tantrums.
My area has just had our presentation and, as thought, I am here until the bitter end, which has now been moved forward to March 2009 - which is a bit of a bugger as if it had been June 2009, I would have qualified for another years worth of the very handsome redundancy package. Ah well.
Fourteen more months to go then, with the building getting emptier and emptier. I foresee much forum posting to keep me occupied.
shrugs:
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Today is "big announcement day". All departments are being called in separately, as closure of the building is in stages.
The first lot in (about 85 people) originally thought they would be here until June 2009 - this has now been moved forward to October 2008. There have been tears and tantrums.
My area has just had our presentation and, as thought, I am here until the bitter end, which has now been moved forward to March 2009 - which is a bit of a bugger as if it had been June 2009, I would have qualified for another years worth of the very handsome redundancy package. Ah well.
Fourteen more months to go then, with the building getting emptier and emptier. I foresee much forum posting to keep me occupied.
shrugs:
Excellent! ;D
I mean, oh poor you... redface:
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On the plus side, I believe there will be a new Gixxer Thou' in the showrooms for March 2009 cloud9:
The vast majority of the office seem to have taken a certain degree of umbrage at the announcements and have decamped to the local pubs. Sounds like a plan!
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On the plus side, I believe there will be a new Gixxer Thou' in the showrooms for March 2009 cloud9:
The vast majority of the office seem to have taken a certain degree of umbrage at the announcements and have decamped to the local pubs. Sounds like a plan!
Indeed, bollocks to them. What are they going to do, sack you?
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On the plus side, I believe there will be a new Gixxer Thou' in the showrooms for March 2009 cloud9:
The vast majority of the office seem to have taken a certain degree of umbrage at the announcements and have decamped to the local pubs. Sounds like a plan!
Indeed, bollocks to them. What are they going to do, sack you?
They daren't sack me. I run the bloody place whistle:
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On the plus side, I believe there will be a new Gixxer Thou' in the showrooms for March 2009 cloud9:
The vast majority of the office seem to have taken a certain degree of umbrage at the announcements and have decamped to the local pubs. Sounds like a plan!
Indeed, bollocks to them. What are they going to do, sack you?
They daren't sack me. I run the bloody place whistle:
Precisely... ;)
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No need to run the place to be safe. Just make sure you know and can change all the passwords.
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No need to run the place to be safe. Just make sure you know and can change all the passwords.
Oh yes. I do. eveilgrin: