The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Barman on January 27, 2008, 12:00:09 PM
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I was just listening to a program on forces radio about the missing laptop with the names of everybody that considered joining the armed forces on…
It turns out that this is not such an unusual event; in fact on average they lose one laptop every single week! Banghead
What on earth is going on? noooo:
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shrugs:
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shrugs:
Me neither... noooo:
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They are flogging them to Iraqis
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They are flogging them to Iraqis
How much do they get?
I have an ancient Compaq laptop in the cupboard. It wouldn't take much to run off a Dymo label saying "Top Secret". whistle:
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They are flogging them to Iraqis
How much do they get?
I have an ancient Compaq laptop in the cupboard. It wouldn't take much to run off a Dymo label saying "Top Secret". whistle:
Ahem... remember Gary Glitter tho... whistle:
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They are flogging them to Iraqis
How much do they get?
I have an ancient Compaq laptop in the cupboard. It wouldn't take much to run off a Dymo label saying "Top Secret". whistle:
Ahem... remember Gary Glitter tho... whistle:
The other kind of "laptop". . .
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In my day we didn't have bloody latops, the lads and I invaded Poland with just an abacus and I didnt lose it eeek:
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I used to lose things… my mum chained the front door key to my trousers so I looked like a prison warden. noooo:
Perhaps that’s an idea… rubschin:
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I used to lose things… my mum chained the front door key to my trousers so I looked like a prison warden. noooo:
Perhaps that’s an idea… rubschin:
Trousers? Luxury. . . .
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Don't start that. ::)
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Don't start that. ::)
redface:
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censored:
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It isnt just the government, armed forces or banks losing them now. Marks and Spencers have got in on the act:
"This isnt just a laptop, this is a Marks and Spencers company laptop filled with unencrypted employee pension details......"
Marks and Spencer has been found in breach of data protection rules after the theft of a laptop containing the personal details of 26,000 employees.
The Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) said the data on the laptop, which was stolen from the home of an M&S contractor, was unencrypted.
The ICO has ordered M&S to make sure all laptop hard drives are fully encrypted by April 2008.
M&S said it would do everything it could to comply with the ICO order.
Better protection
The stolen laptop contained details on the pension arrangements of M&S staff.
"It is essential that before a company allows personal information to leave its premises on a laptop there are adequate security procedures in place to protect personal information, for example, password protection and encryption," said Mick Gorrill, assistant commissioner at the ICO.
An M&S spokeswoman said the retailer had not been expecting the ruling and had already been working with the regulator to remedy the problem.
She added that no employees had reported problems resulting from the loss of the data contained in the laptop, which was stolen in April 2007.
M&S said it had already begun encrypting laptops.
Failure to comply with the enforcement order is a criminal offence, the ICO said.
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"This isnt just a laptop, this is a Marks and Spencers company laptop filled with unencrypted employee pension details......"
;D ;D
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"This isnt just a laptop, this is a Marks and Spencers company laptop filled with unencrypted employee pension details......"
;D ;D
The moment I read the article that irritating bint's voice doing the advert... whistle:
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"This isnt just a laptop, this is a Marks and Spencers company laptop filled with unencrypted employee pension details......"
;D ;D
The moment I read the article that irritating bint's voice doing the advert... whistle:
Who does that voice-over?
Is it Wenchy?
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"This isnt just a laptop, this is a Marks and Spencers company laptop filled with unencrypted employee pension details......"
;D ;D
The moment I read the article that irritating bint's voice doing the advert... whistle:
Who does that voice-over?
Is it Wenchy?
Mrs. Nick... whistle:
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She just got back again. She has been to the Town Hall to argue with them noooo:
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She just got back again. She has been to the Town Hall to argue with them noooo:
What about?
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The dustbin lorry that crashed into her new car this morning!! Do keep up!
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"This isnt just a laptop, this is a Marks and Spencers company laptop filled with unencrypted employee pension details......"
;D ;D
The moment I read the article that irritating bint's voice doing the advert... whistle:
Who does that voice-over?
Is it Wenchy?
Dervla Kirwan
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1Alwyi.jpg&hash=73e35c6455a421b75e789ee0628822a8bd87972e) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1Alwyi)
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I would (I think) rubschin:
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The dustbin lorry that crashed into her new car this morning!! Do keep up!
Ahhhh, I was wondering if another calamity had befallen her!
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"This isnt just a laptop, this is a Marks and Spencers company laptop filled with unencrypted employee pension details......"
;D ;D
The moment I read the article that irritating bint's voice doing the advert... whistle:
Who does that voice-over?
Is it Wenchy?
Dervla Kirwan
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1Alwyi.jpg&hash=73e35c6455a421b75e789ee0628822a8bd87972e) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1Alwyi)
cloud9:
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I would (I think) rubschin:
oh yes.
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I think she is GORGEOUS!
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She just got back again. She has been to the Town Hall to argue with them noooo:
That'll be you last dustbin that gets emptied, apart from in the garden.
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I would (I think) rubschin:
oh yes.
Hubba, hubba, etc. whistle:
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I think she is GORGEOUS!
Well join the end of the queue eveilgrin:
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Dervla Kirwan
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1Alwyi.jpg&hash=73e35c6455a421b75e789ee0628822a8bd87972e) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1Alwyi)
A bog-trotter from the name I take it?
Very pretty girls in the main. ;D
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She is indeed.
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Is this an opportune moment to bring up Andrea Corr?
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"This isnt just a laptop, this is a Marks and Spencers company laptop filled with unencrypted employee pension details......"
;D ;D
The moment I read the article that irritating bint's voice doing the advert... whistle:
Who does that voice-over?
Is it Wenchy?
Mrs. Nick... whistle:
Nah, couldnt be Mrs Nick or the adverts would sound like:
"This is not a fishcake, this is a <HUGE CRASHING EXPLOSION>.... NICK!!!!! I'M TRYING TO WORK HERE!!!"
whistle:
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"This isnt just a laptop, this is a Marks and Spencers company laptop filled with unencrypted employee pension details......"
;D ;D
The moment I read the article that irritating bint's voice doing the advert... whistle:
Who does that voice-over?
Is it Wenchy?
Mrs. Nick... whistle:
Nah, couldnt be Mrs Nick or the adverts would sound like:
"This is not a fishcake, this is a <HUGE CRASHING EXPLOSION>.... NICK!!!!! I'M TRYING TO WORK HERE!!!"
whistle:
So true. SHe in now enraged cos Charlie has just turned up to fix the heating. We called him in October!!! point:
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"This isnt just a laptop, this is a Marks and Spencers company laptop filled with unencrypted employee pension details......"
;D ;D
The moment I read the article that irritating bint's voice doing the advert... whistle:
Who does that voice-over?
Is it Wenchy?
Mrs. Nick... whistle:
Nah, couldnt be Mrs Nick or the adverts would sound like:
"This is not a fishcake, this is a <HUGE CRASHING EXPLOSION>.... NICK!!!!! I'M TRYING TO WORK HERE!!!"
whistle:
So true. SHe in now enraged cos Charlie has just turned up to fix the heating. We called him in October!!! point:
That was quick!
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Is this an opportune moment to bring up Andrea Corr?
Or any of the Corr sisters?
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If you wish
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Seeing as you have asked:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1AApq0.jpg&hash=c3e910e977c2629b882643124470d8fd3768bd11) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1AApq0)
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I think I am seeing triple rubschin:
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Seeing as you have asked:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1AApq0.jpg&hash=c3e910e977c2629b882643124470d8fd3768bd11) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1AApq0)
All skinny reptilians. One good hard shove and there would be a shower of bones and Rosary Beads everywhere...
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Step aside then sir. I reckon if you took on all three at once things could get interesting eveilgrin:
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That would just be icky! They are related!
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That would just be icky! They are related!
Your point being? rubschin:
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You beat me to it GBBB
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sick2:
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See also
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/popup?id=2123893 (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/popup?id=2123893)
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See also
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/popup?id=2123893 (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/popup?id=2123893)
Sorry nick, they do absolutely naff all for me. noooo:
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See also
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/popup?id=2123893 (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/popup?id=2123893)
Sorry nick, they do absolutely naff all for me. noooo:
But if you offered to pay them perhaps...? whistle:
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See also
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/popup?id=2123893 (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/popup?id=2123893)
Sorry nick, they do absolutely naff all for me. noooo:
Me neither. Too many teeth, too much hair, too typically wide mouthed Yanks.
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I just dont see anything special about them BM I get the distinct impression that if you shine a torch in their ear their eyes will light up. noooo:
Besides I wouldnt want to reduxe my donation to the 'New Wig for Baldymort' appeal LL has started. point:
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I just dont see anything special about them BM I get the distinct impression that if you shine a torch in their ear their eyes will light up. noooo:
Besides I wouldnt want to reduxe my donation to the 'New Wig for Baldymort' appeal LL has started. point:
Of course, you’d kick both of them out of your bed if they failed an IQ test then? point:
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They'd need to have failed the IQ test to have got into it in the first place. That's what the Yanks call a "Given"
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I hope you are talking about BM's bed there Snoopy evil:
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I hope you are talking about BM's bed there Snoopy evil:
I suspect he is referring to all of us… whistle:
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Is this the right moment to mention the Corrs?
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I'd wait a bit.
Think about the Nolans instead.
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sick2:
Convent girls to a man!
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sick2:
Convent girls to a man!
Flies to a corpse!
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eeek:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbc.co.uk%2Fnol%2Fshared%2Fspl%2Fhi%2Fpop_ups%2F08%2Fentertainment_enl_1201605601%2Fimg%2F1.jpg&hash=e1fe3b926b295ce7ab3ffca226cc7f786e319b4e)
Add your own captions here.. whistle:
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Wot has this to do with missing Lap-tops ~ apart from a desire to have her on your lap?
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About as much as the Corrs and Nicks yank twins do but its been one of those days today. surrender:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbc.co.uk%2Fnol%2Fshared%2Fspl%2Fhi%2Fpop_ups%2F08%2Fentertainment_enl_1201605601%2Fimg%2F1.jpg&hash=e1fe3b926b295ce7ab3ffca226cc7f786e319b4e)
She: "Help me sir, I'm sinking"
He: "What's in it for me?"
She: "Sand"
The old ones are the best.
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Unfortunately she is buried in hundreds and thousands instead of sand but otherwise 7/10 for effort whistle:
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Unfortunately she is buried in hundreds and thousands instead of sand but otherwise 7/10 for effort whistle:
Damn!
All those years of avoiding gritty ice cream for nothing. cry:
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Unfortunately she is buried in hundreds and thousands instead of sand but otherwise 7/10 for effort whistle:
Wenchy calls them 'sprinklies'... point:
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Unfortunately she is buried in hundreds and thousands instead of sand but otherwise 7/10 for effort whistle:
Wenchy calls them 'sprinklies'... point:
She calls what 'sprinklies'?
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Hundreds and thousands... whistle:
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Americans, and I suspect Wenchy, call them Sprinkles. ::)
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Actually, Wenchy calls them pieceytops. redface:
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Actually, Wenchy calls them pieceytops. redface:
happy001 happy001 happy001
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rubschin:
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Actually, Wenchy calls them pieceytops. redface:
Oh dear.
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I know. It's a childhood hangover. redface: Brother Wench calls them the same thing, for years we didn't know that they were actually called hundreds and thousands. redface: It was like the haggis bird all over again. redface:
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I know. It's a childhood hangover. redface: Brother Wench calls them the same thing, for years we didn't know that they were actually called hundreds and thousands. redface: It was like the haggis bird all over again. redface:
I often wondered where the inspiration for "Famous Five" and "Swallows and Amazons" originated.
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Haggis bird?
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Haggis bird?
Famous Five
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Wot Haggis Bird?
Every one knows that Haggis are small four legged beasties that live on hillsides in the Highlands of Scotland and have to be shot with a bow and arrow.
The legs on their left side are shorter than those on the right to enable them to stand straight on the hillside. If you want to catch them live then you have to chase them round the hill on a frosty morning. Because of the two shorter legs they can only proceed further up the hill in an anti clockwise direction (else they fall over). As they go higher up the hill their little pink feet will become stuck to the frost on the rocks found at higher altitudes and you can just pick them up and pop them in a sack.
Now what else can I tell you. How about the treacle mines at Tangley?
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Haggis bird?
redface:
We were told that the haggis was a bird with two legs, one shorter than the other. They had evolved in this way because they live in the mountains and so it was easier for them to keep their balance. In order to catch haggis, during the haggis hunting season, you simply run straight at them. The haggis tries to turn and run away which means that the short leg is facing down the mountain and is off balance and so he rolls to the bottom, where your hunting partner picks him up and puts him in the hunting bag. redface:
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The reason why psychotherapists are rich noooo:
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Oh dear. It gets worse, and it's only Wednesday.
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The reason why psychotherapists are rich noooo:
Yep. Parents really should take more responsibility for what they tell their kids. Yes it's funny now but will it be funny when your child finds out at the age of 18 that there is no such thing as a haggis bird and all her new Uni friends take the piss. redface: sad24: redface: Not that you know that ever happened. whistle:
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See also: santa, tooth fairy, convertible cars
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Well of course there is no Santa! Father Christmas only used him as a cover story. ::)
Umm convertible cars?
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Having two sets of children some twenty years apart has enabled me to indulge in repeat yarn spinning. I have had both sets convinced that the reason they see men, at the sides of motorways, feeding various coloured plastic pipes from large reels into holes in the ground is to grow sausages in. Different coloured pipes indicating different flavoured sausages. They have all fallen for it. whistle:
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Consumed by envy (at being overtaken by a Porsche Cabriolet) I once told The Boy that some people were so poor they couldn't afford to have a roof on their car. 6 years later he still believes this redface:
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Having two sets of children some twenty years apart has enabled me to indulge in repeat yarn spinning. I have had both sets convinced that the reason they see men, at the sides of motorways, feeding various coloured plastic pipes from large reels into holes in the ground is to grow sausages in. Different coloured pipes indicating different flavoured sausages. They have all fallen for it. whistle:
drumroll:
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I am going to have to remember these! eveilgrin:
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Morning sickness? happy100
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noooo:
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Well keep trying! eveilgrin:
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The reason why psychotherapists are rich noooo:
Yep. Parents really should take more responsibility for what they tell their kids. Yes it's funny now but will it be funny when your child finds out at the age of 18 that there is no such thing as a haggis bird and all her new Uni friends take the piss. redface: sad24: redface: Not that you know that ever happened. whistle:
Its not just parents with kids though. I have to admit that when I was a student nurse there was this lovely Irish lass who would believe all those kind of stories. The best one was telling her that the Wombles were based on a rodent found in Cornwall that would scavenge the rubbsh left behind by people and that there was a huge nest of them in a field by one of the beaches in Falmouth. Told her that on the Friday, saw her again on monday on the way to a lecture and she gave me hell over it. Apparently she had been sat outside this old badger set all weekend... whistle:
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when I was a student nurse
Do you still wear black stockings? razz:
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Ever been sent out to buy elbow grease? redface:
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Nope, it was trousers and tunic for me, although living in nurses accomodation was certainly an eye opener... eyes:
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Ever been sent out to buy elbow grease? redface:
In the RAF we used to send gormless erks to stores to ask for a long weight. lol:
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I usede to go to parties in Nurses' hostels. Happy days. They were like rabbits. I miss those days cry:
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Ever been sent out to buy elbow grease? redface:
In the RAF we used to send gormless erks to stores to ask for a long weight. lol:
A tin of sparks please... point:
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Ever been sent out to buy elbow grease? redface:
In the RAF we used to send gormless erks to stores to ask for a long weight. lol:
A tin of sparks please... point:
Left-handed hammer.
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As a left hander I resent that. I actually have one. Never used it though
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Ever been sent out to buy elbow grease? redface:
In the RAF we used to send gormless erks to stores to ask for a long weight. lol:
A tin of sparks please... point:
Left-handed hammer.
Sky hooks...
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I'd believe most of these. redface: sad24: redface:
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As a left hander I resent that. I actually have one. Never used it though
AHA!! This explains a lot, there are thousands of accidents a year caused by left handed people using right handed equipment. point:
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I'd believe most of these. redface: sad24: redface:
You need one of these then...
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi96.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl194%2Fmarkfrank19%2Frew2001.png&hash=51ae7cea67c92ee16a129e51e2b46ef49e784281)
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point:
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I could be wrong but I seem to remember Wenchy mentioning getting one of those for her brother a while back.... whistle:
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http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/ (http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/)
Excellent
Also
http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/top10-famous.html (http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/top10-famous.html)
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http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/ (http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/)
Excellent
Also
http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/top10-famous.html (http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/top10-famous.html)
You are Ned Flanders! point:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tvsquad.com%2Fmedia%2F2006%2F05%2F25904_NedFlanders.jpg&hash=a2f61b3e9e07a45b9f701dbc068377932f144a4c)
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point: point: point:
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As a left hander I resent that. I actually have one. Never used it though
Right handers will never know the troubles us lefties have with seemingly ordinary day-to-day objects.
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.donthaveacowman.com%2FSimpsons%2FCards%2FSkybox-2%2F05.jpg&hash=8d6109dbc342958c8b540fb0723a995bed144e19)
point:
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Quite so my soul brother cloud9:
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Quite so my soul brother cloud9:
Our soul.
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http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/ (http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/)
Excellent
Also
http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/top10-famous.html (http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/top10-famous.html)
You are Ned Flanders! point:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tvsquad.com%2Fmedia%2F2006%2F05%2F25904_NedFlanders.jpg&hash=a2f61b3e9e07a45b9f701dbc068377932f144a4c)
Surely given the constant flow of calamities, catastrophies and general cock ups he would more likely be the love child of flanders and homer whistle:
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Ever been sent out to buy elbow grease? redface:
In the RAF we used to send gormless erks to stores to ask for a long weight. lol:
A tin of sparks please... point:
Left-handed hammer.
Sky hooks...
Skirting board ladders and paint for the last post, been there... dun it...read the book ..seen the film and got the T shirt. cussing:
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Ever been sent out to buy elbow grease? redface:
In the RAF we used to send gormless erks to stores to ask for a long weight. lol:
A tin of sparks please... point:
Left-handed hammer.
Sky hooks...
Skirting board ladders and paint for the last post, been there... dun it...read the book ..seen the film and got the T shirt. cussing:
Tartan paint