The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Library => Topic started by: Barman on February 22, 2008, 12:50:16 PM
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Okay, now that Wenchy has gone off to ikea to buy tat you boys can help me write my wedding speech…
We’ll write a line each – I’ll start…
May I welcome you all along to this most special celebration.
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Okay, now that Wenchy has gone off to ikea to buy tat you boys can help me write my wedding speech…
We’ll write a line each – I’ll start…
May I welcome you all along to this most special celebration.
....of the union between wotisface and thingummy wot is costing me a bloody fortune...
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We have been trying to marry the girl off for over 30 years. Getting her a job at the psychiatric hospital finally did the trick it seems
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May I welcome you all along to this most special celebration.
Of the union between wotisface and thingummy wot is costing me a bloody fortune
We have been trying to marry the girl off for over 30 years. Getting her a job at the psychiatric hospital finally did the trick it seems
rubschin:
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And I would like to welcome all the patients, and their minders, to this splendid pub. All sharp objects have been removed for the occasion
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And I would like to welcome all the patients, and their minders, to this splendid pub. All sharp objects have been removed for the occasion
rubschin:
You're not taking this seriously are you? noooo:
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May I welcome you all along to this most special celebration.
Of the union between wotisface and thingummy wot is costing me a bloody fortune
We have been trying to marry the girl off for over 30 years. Getting her a job at the psychiatric hospital finally did the trick it seems
rubschin:
Dint worry. It will sound better than it reads honestly. happy088
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May I welcome you all along to this most special celebration.
Of the union between wotisface and thingummy wot is costing me a bloody fortune
We have been trying to marry the girl off for over 30 years. Getting her a job at the psychiatric hospital finally did the trick it seems
rubschin:
Dint worry. It will sound better than it reads honestly. happy088
Okay then... just as long as you think it will be okay...
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May I welcome you all along to this most special celebration.
Of the union between wotisface and thingummy wot is costing me a bloody fortune
We have been trying to marry the girl off for over 30 years. Getting her a job at the psychiatric hospital finally did the trick it seems
rubschin:
Dint worry. It will sound better than it reads honestly. happy088
Okay then... just as long as you think it will be okay...
trust us. We are good at these sort of things. Now where were we....?
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My dear wife has made the cake and has filled it with lucky coins (of low denomination), so mind your teeth
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and I made the beer myself
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so mind the other end too
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so mind the other end too
(I think this is going quite well so far, we may need Berek to add some romantic bits though)
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Miss Piggy and her beau have led sheltered lives, so this is the time to enlighten them about what they have to do tonight. Mrs barman, please pass me that flipchart and the red pens..............
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...what? They have done that already? erm...OK....erm.
Right, moving on...
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Miss Piggy and her beau have led sheltered lives,
happy001
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One of my better lines was "I do not look upon this so much as losing a daughter ..... more of gaining a bathroom"
Gorra laff at the time. redface:
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And now to my new in laws! What can I say? I am delighted to see them here and envy their fine heads of hair. They may be prepared to sell them.
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". . and of course the bride looks radiant, just like her mother before the surgery.
Now, if the grooms family can get up on their hind legs, I give you a toast. . . "
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Repeat slowly after me, and that includes all the blondes...........
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Finished! cloud9:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65nEGOcqdco
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Having done one Father of the Bride speech myself and bottled (under threat from the MotB) the really cutting remarks I had threatened to use I double dare you to use that on the day eveilgrin:
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Having done one Father of the Bride speech myself and bottled (under threat from the MotB) the really cutting remarks I had threatened to use I double dare you to use that on the day eveilgrin:
rubschin:
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Oh the trouble you would be in!
I live in terror of it. Apparently my Dad left various remarks with my Brother. eeek:
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But I'm sure you must have enough blackmail material on brother Wench to keep him in line eyes:
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I do have some pictures. rubschin:
I can't remember if I've already used them up or not though.
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There is using them and using them though. having them suddenly appear on teh video wall at a club when you are all out on the town tends to have a hell of an effect on the unfortunate victim.... eveilgrin:
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There is using them and using them though. having them suddenly appear on teh video wall at a club when you are all out on the town tends to have a hell of an effect on the unfortunate victim.... eveilgrin:
Umm yes it does. redface: I did that to him for his 21st. Both at home and at Uni. redface:
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There is using them and using them though. having them suddenly appear on teh video wall at a club when you are all out on the town tends to have a hell of an effect on the unfortunate victim.... eveilgrin:
Umm yes it does. redface: I did that to him for his 21st. Both at home and at Uni. redface:
Then if you are silly enough to give him the chance for revenge you deserve all you get. point:
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There is using them and using them though. having them suddenly appear on teh video wall at a club when you are all out on the town tends to have a hell of an effect on the unfortunate victim.... eveilgrin:
Umm yes it does. redface: I did that to him for his 21st. Both at home and at Uni. redface:
Then if you are silly enough to give him the chance for revenge you deserve all you get. point:
Well I didn't know my Dad was going to up and die and leave him with the responsibility of humiliating me!
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As I keep telling my daughters ~ That's what Fathers and Brothers are for.
Ritual humiliation, pulling their pigtails, telling them they have a fat arse and throwing pebbles at them on the beach ~ why else would a man want a daughter/sister?
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Sounds about right!
A couple of years ago Bro and I were getting ready for a friend's wedding and he told me I looked nice. I hit him. He was offended and said he was being serious. eeek: First time he'd ever said anything like that! I'd thought he was being sarcastic. Apparently it will also be the last time due to my reaction. redface:
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Yup ..... Minor and Minimus can wind up the Teenage Hormone Wreck to fever pitch in about a nano second. They only have to look at her and smile ~ instant reaction ...... she is ranting & raging about them to her mother or threatening them with physical harm..
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That does irritate. My Brother used to a great line in patronising too. angry041: Sadly that hasn't stopped. Banghead
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Okay okay ::)
Coming along nicely chaps I think - if BaldyMort wants to have his goolies snapped tight in my MOTB handbag DURING his speech then I think the efforts so far will ensure that happens eveilgrin:
So far 2/10 for effort - start trying harder!!!!!
Actually the RA speech sounds as though it is referring to my sisters side of the family - heaven help us all scared2:
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"And now a warning for my new son in law.Always look at the mother.Regrettably it is now too late for him to change his mind......."
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"I will now buy EVERYONE a large drink......."
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I am so glad we only invited 7 people!
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"And now a warning for my new son in law.Always look at the mother.Regrettably it is now too late for him to change his mind......."
Son in law is onto a good thing if that is the case!
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"And now a warning for my new son in law.Always look at the mother.Regrettably it is now too late for him to change his mind......."
Son in law is onto a good thing if that is the case!
Creep!
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T'is true though!
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T'is true though!
::)
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She looks OK in the pictures I have seen eyes:
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Who wants to see a video of my speech...? whistle:
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I'm a bit busy for the next few years, but thanks anyway
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Who wants to see a video of my speech...? whistle:
Nice thought ~ I'll get my people to ring you once I have checked my diary.
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evil:
I'm sure the gerls will want to see it like...
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Has anyone seen my diary?
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Has anyone seen my diary?
Does it have a picture of Charlie Brown on the front cover...? rubschin:
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Wot? Your wedding speech?
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Wot? Your wedding speech?
Yes Nick... ::)
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No but it does say Diary 2009
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Who wants to see a video of my speech...? whistle:
Do you have it on Blu-ray?
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No ~ it's just an ordinary old Letts week at a view cheapo diary ~ nothing fancy, it doesn't even have one of those little loops for me to lose a pen out of.
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No ~ it's just an ordinary old Letts week at a view cheapo diary ~ nothing fancy, it doesn't even have one of those little loops for me to lose a pen out of.
drumroll:
lol: lol: lol:
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Who wants to see a video of my speech...? whistle:
Do you have it on Blu-ray?
Quite.
If it isn't 1066p or whatever, then I will not insult my eyes with it. ::)
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So you want to see the light shining off Old Baldy's head in Hi-Def then Darwin whistle:
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So you want to see the light shining off Old Baldy's head in Hi-Def then Darwin whistle:
Every empty follicle clear and sharp as a crater on the moon.
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But they will be distorted because of the blinding light reflecting off his shiny head Darwin. noooo:
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Anyhoo.... nobody wants to see my speech then...? evil:
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Of course we do
char048
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Fnewscartoons%2Fcartoonists%2Fbbr%2Flowres%2Fbbrn19l.jpg&hash=3fa5b8be3b37d5e8bed67583c98f9b5a46667986)
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Can't wait.
sleep017
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http://keyboardcat.com/2009/06/17/worst-best-man-speech/ (http://keyboardcat.com/2009/06/17/worst-best-man-speech/)
point:
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He must have been a gas at the stag night... noooo:
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Oh the Cat had them dancing the night away angel1
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Oh the Cat had them dancing the night away angel1
doh: