The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on April 02, 2008, 07:37:43 AM
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Taking The Boy and his girlfriend to Llandudno on the train today. Sand castles and dodgems.
WHat can possibly go wrong?
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Taking The Boy and his girlfriend to Llandudno on the train today. Sand castles and dodgems.
WHat can possibly go wrong?
There is no sand at Llandudno ~ only slate shingle.
Beach at Deganwy (River Conwy Estuary) is 98% mud.
For sand on the beach you need to either go north toward Rhyl or south toward Anglesey.
Also it is currently raining and blowing a f*cking gale here.
Cinema and KFC adjacent to Llandudno Juction Station are open though.
But apart from that ~ "Have a nice day y'all"
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Isn't it raining?
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Isn't it raining?
P*ssing down ten minutes ago.
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point:
Soggy bored children!
point:
Poor Nick
happy100
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Also it is currently raining and blowing a f*cking gale here
That's odd. NO rain and no wind here rubschin:
I may have to reconsider this plan.
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/5day.shtml?world=382
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I think that may be wise.
The Boy has a girlfriend!?!?! eeek:
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I think that may be wise.
The Boy has a girlfriend!?!?! eeek:
Why shouldn't he ...... My 7 yo has one (well several actually ... he changes them more often than he changes his socks)
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I think that may be wise.
The Boy has a girlfriend!?!?! eeek:
I remarked to them the other day that they talked like "an old married couple".
He hid behind me and she hid behind her mother (who is the CBFT)
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Weather update:
Rhyl and surrounding area. Seems that was a "squall" blown in off the sea. Currently not raining, overcast skies, wind has dropped to a strongish breeze. When I got the milk in from the back step a minute or two ago it was chilly (but I am only in dressing gown.)
Northerners would have their shirts off by now I 'spect.
This report has been brought to you from the office window of Snoopy
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Thanks.Trip postponed anyhow as the GF had a trampolining accident last night aind is currently not on her feet.
Weather report tomorrow morning would be helpful!
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Thanks.Trip postponed anyhow as the GF had a trampolining accident last night aind is currently not on her feet.
Weather report tomorrow morning would be helpful!
Oh dear! Was/is that one of those garden trampolines or a properly supervised sports centre type?
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In her garden, so they can't sue anyone eveilgrin:
Unless of course she chooses to sue her parents for negligence.Or report them to Social Services! evil:
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Or if Growler is not too busy I could take them to the Swamp for a spin in his truck!!
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I have often wondered about the safety of those garden trampoline things ~ one hears of so many accidents ~ I have always turned a deaf ear to the pleas for one in our garden which, as you know, is all concrete.
What with that and "NO" to bicycles on the grounds that we live on a very busy High Street ~ I am the prophet of doom apparently. confused:
The Swamp sounds a good alternative.
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A day on the beach ~ what could possibly go wrong?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=552930&in_page_id=1770
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The Swamp sounds a good alternative.
Nowt like a good bit of notice ey? ::)
Bit busy this morning. See how i get on with a couple of my regular screamers.
As long as i don't hear those imortal words....."While yarear" thatsit:
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The customer is always right! eveilgrin:
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The customer is always right! eveilgrin:
Bollocks, as I regulary tell mine.
I take great pride in telling them not to order me around as I'm self employed, and if they don't STF up, I'll not bother coming at all.
They then normally apologise and grovel. cloud9:
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I always told my staff that the customer is invariably wrong ~ it is our task to politely educate them.
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Most of my customers are idiots.But they are also very intelligent idiots.Which makes them dangerous evil:
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Most of my customers are idiots.But they are also very intelligent idiots.Which makes them dangerous evil:
All of mine are cunning sly grovelling idiots.
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And M53 Fraud will never see my money again, the bastards evil:
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And M53 Fraud will never see my money again, the bastards evil:
Quite. Norman steals yer money now ey? ::)
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Norman recycles my hard earned into what passes for the local economy (all the cousins who own all the shops round here)
M53 Fraud blow it all on yachts and suchlike
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Norman recycles my hard earned into what passes for the local economy (all the cousins who own all the shops round here)
M53 Fraud blow it all on yachts and suchlike
Ahh yes, in around interbreeding Neston, of course.
Just had a 'desperate' phone call off the main Toyota stealer in Q'ferry now.
Damaged brand new car center console.
The swamp is starting to look like a dodgy prospect.
Just finishing off my sausages to help me die happy, and then I'm goin'
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Neston No-Neckers is the official designation . Every shop employs a mutterer/dribbler.The others wander aournd, um, muttering and dribbling.
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I'm back if your interested?
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OK. I have been doing a toilet seat and have head injuries.
If you are going thatway call me and off we go
PM has my number
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OK. I have been doing a toilet seat and have head injuries.
If you are going thatway call me and off we go
PM has my number
Sorry. I'm obviously not as privlidged as you. Can you pass his number on then.....via pm if you want.
I had a spell of toilet troubles...the toilet that is, not me guts, only that might change later if I'm cookin' the tea again..apparently. ::)
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I guess Gordo was impressed that he'd had Macca in his kitchen once. whistle:
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The man is an idiot. Check your PMs (= messages) you dolt!!
noooo: noooo:
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The man is an idiot. Check your PMs (= messages) you dolt!!
noooo: noooo:
Who? PM? I agree. Total dolt, AND TWAT! cussing:
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Well we still aren't going to Llandudno. Boy and GF have voted to go to the cinema. £15 for tiickets and twice as much again on chemical laden popcorn and Kia-Ora or somesuch noooo:
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Well we still aren't going to Llandudno. Boy and GF have voted to go to the cinema. £15 for tiickets and twice as much again on chemical laden popcorn and Kia-Ora or somesuch noooo:
What you going to watch then Nick? Summat sleep inducing no doubt?
I was most impressed with 'The Boy's' GF btw. A future Mrs 'The Boy' if ever there was one.
I'll do the cars for you, and a marquee at 'The Swamp' for the reception, with mud rides for all the guests. It'll be summat a bit different ey?
Always on the look out for a business opportunity.
I'll leave you to sort the meals out though. ;)
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http://www.odeon.co.uk/fanatic/film_info/s73/Bromborough/m11145/Horton_Hears_A_Who/ (http://www.odeon.co.uk/fanatic/film_info/s73/Bromborough/m11145/Horton_Hears_A_Who/)
And I made him walk her home last night. I explained it was the "gentlemanly" thing to do. I also made a veiled allusion to the fact that in future years this habit would yield other benefits eyes:
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http://www.odeon.co.uk/fanatic/film_info/s73/Bromborough/m11145/Horton_Hears_A_Who/ (http://www.odeon.co.uk/fanatic/film_info/s73/Bromborough/m11145/Horton_Hears_A_Who/)
And I made him walk her home last night. I explained it was the "gentlemanly" thing to do. I also made a veiled allusion to the fact that in future years this habit would yield other benefits eyes:
That would have been an 'illusion' for me. ::)
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http://www.odeon.co.uk/fanatic/film_info/s73/Bromborough/m11145/Horton_Hears_A_Who/ (http://www.odeon.co.uk/fanatic/film_info/s73/Bromborough/m11145/Horton_Hears_A_Who/)
And I made him walk her home last night. I explained it was the "gentlemanly" thing to do. I also made a veiled allusion to the fact that in future years this habit would yield other benefits eyes:
And you can be assured that her Father will have told her in future to call him as in years to come this habit will cause her to be jumped on! ;D
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http://www.odeon.co.uk/fanatic/film_info/s73/Bromborough/m11145/Horton_Hears_A_Who/ (http://www.odeon.co.uk/fanatic/film_info/s73/Bromborough/m11145/Horton_Hears_A_Who/)
And I made him walk her home last night. I explained it was the "gentlemanly" thing to do. I also made a veiled allusion to the fact that in future years this habit would yield other benefits eyes:
Benefits?????????????
Wot ~ like marriage and raising children, having a mortgage, paying for the rest of your life for a simple leg over. noooo:
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Last time she came round to play he tied her to his bed with an eight foot lime green snake! eeek:
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Last time she came round to play he tied her to his bed with an eight foot lime green snake! eeek:
eeek:
Why?
What did he intend to do with her?
She came back?
Her parents let her come back?
eeek:
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Yes, they get on well generally. And who is to say that she didn't enjoy being tied up with an eight foot lime green snake?
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Last time she came round to play he tied her to his bed with an eight foot lime green snake! eeek:
He is showing great promise. eyes:
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Last time she came round to play he tied her to his bed with an eight foot lime green snake! eeek:
He is showing great promise. eyes:
Lime green snake to silk scarves is but a short step.
You are teaching him well worthy:
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WHat a frightful frightful film Banghead
Dr Seuss. I always hated him.
The 9 year olds seems to like it. I lost the will to live.
ANd the price of effing Popcorn. AND THE APPEAL FROM THE VARIETY CLUB WHICH IS , APPARENTLY, IN "IT'S" SEVENTEENTH YEAR.
iDIOTS*
*I called them and pointed out their error. eveilgrin:
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Dr Seuss is beyond irritating.
“My alphabet starts with this letter called yuzz. It's the letter I use to spell yuzz-a-ma-tuzz. You'll be sort of surprised what there is to be found once you go beyond 'Z' and start poking around!”
Banghead
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I said something to them about going to the bog and exited for 40 minutes. So annoying! evil:
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“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”
Banghead
What you mean to say is you went to stand outside and have a fag!
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Precisely!
And the Variety CLub acceptedmy comments and I advised them to sue their ad agency! eveilgrin:
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Bravo you!
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I told you to drop them in the foyer, buy the tickets and popcorn and go to the pub, sink a couple o beers and return to collect them. They would have felt very grown up and you would be in a better mood.
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I feel reponsible. They are only 9. I am not like "Shannon's stepfather" - "ooh she was missing for four hours and then we called the police etc......"
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I feel reponsible. They are only 9. I am not like "Shannon's stepfather" - "ooh she was missing for four hours and then we called the police etc......"
You did the right thing.
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I feel reponsible. They are only 9. I am not like "Shannon's stepfather" - "ooh she was missing for four hours and then we called the police etc......"
AGree - you did what a GOOD daddy would do happ096
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I
always usually do
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Mr Carruthers beckons.
£12 a f*cking hour.
Off I go! Again.
I reckon I am about 200 quid down on the week so far Banghead Banghead
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£12 an hour for private tuition? We charge £17 ..... still I 'spose that is A level
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Mr Wench charges £20!
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Mr Wench charges £20!
How much do you charge? eyes:
Before Snoopy asks
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London Rates ~ does he travel or do the students come to him .... makes a difference.
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Mr Wench charges £20!
How much do you charge? eyes:
Before Snoopy asks
I am mortified that you think so little of me DS sad24:
P'raps we could go half each?
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London Rates ~ does he travel or do the students come to him .... makes a difference.
He goes there! I'm not have snotty nosed brats in my house!!!
You two couldn't afford me!
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He's cheap then ... we charge travel at a minimum of 1 hour.
Travel + 1 hour tuition =£34
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rubschin:
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If the students come to our home *we can tutor two in two hours. If *we have to travel then *we can only tutor one student in two hours thus *we are losing money. I assume Mr Wench doesn't major in Maths. ;)
*By "we" I of course mean SWMBO
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It is basically a standard school rate. That is what they all charge. If you charge more you won't get anyone basically. Still it comes in handy.
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Another point is that we do NOT tutor Primary age. That has to be done at the child's home with a aprent in the next room and the door open! We only accept GCSE, A level and Undergraduates for private tuition. English, Latin, History. Of copurse at that age parents are well used to shelling out £35+ for driving lessons.
We do of course have a commission arrangement with other tutors for students that we cannot help (Maths, Science etc)
Used to have it as a proper business but not really profitable given the "thiness of the population here and the time one has to put into vetting others etc. so we cut it back to just Mrs S and a few "referrals".
It was not unknown for me, in the past, to lecture to sales conferences and the like but the agoraphobia has put a stop to that.
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You two couldn't afford me!
Given your tat habit I find that extremely believable whistle:
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£12 an hour for private tuition? We charge £17 ..... still I 'spose that is A level
Bloooooody hells teeth! eeek: ONLY £17?! eeek:
Young G jnr jas been having private maths tuition for 18 months now for GCSE @ £25 ph, and he only lives 'round the corner....the tutor that is, not G jnr.
I'm staggered how little you're being charged/charging.
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Mr Wench charges £20!
How much do you charge? eyes:
Before Snoopy asks
If you have to ask the price you can't afford it ::)
And for the two of us (Wenchy and LL) you'd probably have to re-mortgage, sell the car and 'the watches' eeek:
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It's what the market will stand mate. Fewer children around here and lower ambitions from their parents. Comes of having a thinly spread population ..... which is why we have to be prepared to travel sometimes and why we charge for it. Welsh roads are not, in the main, built for speed.
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Mr Wench charges £20!
How much do you charge? eyes:
Before Snoopy asks
I am mortified that you think so little of me DS sad24:
P'raps we could go half each?
As long as I get the first half. . . whistle:
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It's what the market will stand mate. Fewer children around here and lower ambitions from their parents. Comes of having a thinly spread population ..... which is why we have to be prepared to travel sometimes and why we charge for it. Welsh roads are not, in the main, built for speed.
What you teachin'? Maths by any chance? rubschin:
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Mr Wench charges £20!
How much do you charge? eyes:
Before Snoopy asks
I am mortified that you think so little of me DS sad24:
P'raps we could go half each?
As long as I get the first half. . . whistle:
Of course ~ age before beauty and all that .... besides I don't expect you'll be long. whistle:
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Mr Wench charges £20!
How much do you charge? eyes:
Before Snoopy asks
I am mortified that you think so little of me DS sad24:
P'raps we could go half each?
As long as I get the first half. . . whistle:
Of course ~ age before beauty and all that .... besides I don't expect you'll be long. whistle:
noooo:
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Spit roast... whistle:
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A thought worth chewing over ............ so to speak.
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A thought worth chewing over ............ so to speak.
eyes:
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A thought worth chewing over ............ so to speak.
eyes:
You couldn't chew without your teeth eveilgrin:
I'll be knocking them pearlies out if this fantasy goes much further whistle:
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A thought worth chewing over ............ so to speak.
eyes:
You couldn't chew without your teeth eveilgrin:
I'll be knocking them pearlies out if this fantasy goes much further whistle:
scared2:
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I feel an urgent need to investigate something behind the shed. whistle:
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Small voice "Has she gone yet? scared2:"
One sentence and she cleared the place .... no-one has said a word for ten minutes. (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fscared003.gif&hash=f1d4b0cc865ffe650379fbd410c69314bc0b5bd0)
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[whisper]yes... [/whisper] whistle:
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Blimey BM ~ I hadn't realised how brave you are.
Deffo promotion to hero status. (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fviolent018.gif&hash=862ed952e41b8445de53f354e49e5edcc4b4961b)
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Mr Wench charges £20!
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
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It is threads like this that make me wonder why I bother with you lot at all!
I'm disapointed in you, all of you. noooo:
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Welsh roads are not, in the main, built for speed.
You are Richard Brunstrom, do I win £5
Something to gladden motorists hearts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBmddH3_yXE&feature=related
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It is threads like this that make me wonder why I bother with you lot at all!
I'm disapointed in you, all of you. noooo:
but but but but but I haven't said anything. sad24:
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And neither have I. It was those big lads over there
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Welsh roads are not, in the main, built for speed.
You are Richard Brunstrom, do I win £5
Something to gladden motorists hearts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBmddH3_yXE&feature=related
We (I) did this one when he first released the footage. The other arse who did this topped himself a couple of weeks ago on Snowdon .......... One down and one to go I suppose.
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Welsh roads are not, in the main, built for speed.
You are Richard Brunstrom, do I win £5
Something to gladden motorists hearts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBmddH3_yXE&feature=related
We (I) did this one when he first released the footage. The other arse who did this topped himself a couple of weeks ago on Snowdon .......... One down and one to go I suppose.
Now pray do tell - have the armed police officers ever released a similar vid advising of the consequences of being shot by one of their 'nice' police officers and cautioning us all that 'when faced with an armed police officer it is best to do what the 'nice' man says because we won't enjoy the expereince of being shot' eeek:
Why warn the crims - tazer and shot away!! eeek:
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I believe a video was made at the tube station when Menenzezezeze was shot, but it got lost