The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on April 03, 2008, 04:57:07 PM
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WTF is it? It's vile and totally detestable. Are they all dykes, cus most men will run a mile after getting a whiff of it?
I was just coming down my favourite big hill following a pleasant walk in the fog ::), and had the misfortune of passing these two oldish hags, and the stench was quite frankly gut wrenching. sick2:
Dunno if my snout sensors have got some sort of inbuilt sniff memory, but I can still smell it even now.
Mrs G used to wear something similar until I threatened her with violence, and threw it out.
Lilac or summat? Satans bog water.Yeeeuk. sick2:
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Piss...
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There is only one perfume worth sniffing and that is Chanel No5.
If they are too old for that then Imperial mints probably suit them best.
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Piss...
No. That's preferable tbh, and most of them can't help it anyway.
I have a little 'tinkle leakage' if I laugh too much sometimes/rarely/hardly ever now in fact tbh
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Piss...
No. That's preferable tbh, and most of them can't help it anyway.
I have a little 'tinkle leakage' if I laugh too much sometimes/rarely/hardly ever now in fact tbh
If I pissed myself when I laughed I’d have to sit in a paddling pool when I am on here… ;D
Not this week obviously… noooo:
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There is only one perfume worth sniffing and that is Chanel No5.
If they are too old for that then Imperial mints probably suit them best.
Never too old to smell pleasant. cloud9:
These old bastards just do it deliberately to piss me off, I'm sure. WHY, and why do they ALL use it? Is it a srandard state handout when you've gone senile or summat, so they/you can be identified as being half witted and waiting impatiently for the 'Big Black Bus'?
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There is only one perfume worth sniffing and that is Chanel No5.
If they are too old for that then Imperial mints probably suit them best.
Never too old to smell pleasant. cloud9:
These old bastards just do it deliberately to piss me off, I'm sure. WHY, and why do they ALL use it? Is it a srandard state handout when you've gone senile or summat, so they/you can be identified as being half witted and waiting impatiently for the 'Big Black Bus'?
;D
I'm sure it is piss...
Or embalming fluid… whistle:
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Oh come on now chaps - old belly fat lardy chaps smoothered in splash it all over is nice sick2: sick2: sick2:
Or for that matter sweating stained armpits sick2: sick2: sick2:
AT least the two lovely gentle old biddies had made an effort - don't you think whistle:
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Oh come on now chaps - old belly fat lardy chaps smoothered in splash it all over is nice sick2: sick2: sick2:
Or for that matter sweating stained armpits sick2: sick2: sick2:
AT least the two lovely gentle old biddies had made an effort - don't you think whistle:
Frankly I'm trying hard not to think about it ~ I'm about to have me tea! sick2:
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Oh come on now chaps - old belly fat lardy chaps smoothered in splash it all over is nice sick2: sick2: sick2:
Or for that matter sweating stained armpits sick2: sick2: sick2:
AT least the two lovely gentle old biddies had made an effort - don't you think whistle:
Frankly I'm trying hard not to think about it ~ I'm about to have me tea! sick2:
You've had your tea ::) Half of the special steak mince that I cooked for you prior to adding the chilli and beans in our half - oh yay dog of little memory ::)
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Growler jnr has made tea again tonight without any disaster.
It's ready apparently. I MAY be back after. scared2:
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When I was younger (which I was once) I always remember my Mum wearing 'Blue Grass' - think it was Elizabeth Arden cloud9:
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When approaching walkers I always hold my breath noooo:
See also:joggers
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Is this the shite I'm thinking about?
http://www.lavendershoppe.com/lavender_perfume.php
The ingredients look decidely dodgy, so could well be.
I'm sure lavender rings a bell....but not mine I can assure you. noooo:
Stinks of satan itself. sick2:
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Errrrrrrrrr ........... We make Lavender Scented Soaps and Bath Oils ..... we use our own garden grown lavender. whistle:
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Errrrrrrrrr ........... We make Lavender Scented Soaps and Bath Oils ..... we use our own garden grown lavender. whistle:
Do you sell it to old biddies?
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Sell it to anyone who is willing to pay for it ...... but yes Lavender seems to be most popular with people buying it for older rellies.
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Rosewater seems to be popular with older women as well. I still feel nauseous when I smell that having had a college lecturer who bathed in the bloody stuff sick2:
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Sell it to anyone who is willing to pay for it ...... but yes Lavender seems to be most popular with people buying it for older rellies.
IT SMELLS LOVELY!
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Rosewater seems to be popular with older women as well. I still feel nauseous when I smell that having had a college lecturer who bathed in the bloody stuff sick2:
P'raps that's the stuff then, I dunno. rubschin:
I'll ask the next old hag I sniff...not literally, close to like... wearing this shite.
I'll ask 'tactfully'...."pray my good senior citizen. What exactly is that dogs vomit delightful fragrance and aroma I can detect in your midst" sick2:
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In that case prolly deep heat mentholated rub Growler noooo:
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Sell it to anyone who is willing to pay for it ...... but yes Lavender seems to be most popular with people buying it for older rellies.
IT SMELLS LOVELY!
I must admit that our path from the front gate to the house is lined on both sides with bushes of several varieties of Lavender and the smell as one brushes through them is lovely AND one has to brush through them as they grow like weeds. An added benefit is that an old lady near us keeps bees so our lavender is always full of her bees (sorry BM). Her honey is superb and she gives us several pots each year in payment for the unique flavour our Lavender imparts to her honey. She also gives us bees wax which we use for treating Minimus. The combo of beeswax on his skin and honey in his diet seems to help with his "summer" allergies.
Mrs S harvests and dries the flowers in the Autumn (when the bees have had their fill) and makes little bags full of the dried flowers which she sells in aid of the school funds.
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Errrrrrrrrr ........... We make Lavender Scented Soaps and Bath Oils ..... we use our own garden grown lavender. whistle:
Does it smell of piss? rubschin:
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Errrrrrrrrr ........... We make Lavender Scented Soaps and Bath Oils ..... we use our own garden grown lavender. whistle:
Does it smell of piss? rubschin:
You'll find this hard to believe but it smells of ................................................ Lavender
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Errrrrrrrrr ........... We make Lavender Scented Soaps and Bath Oils ..... we use our own garden grown lavender. whistle:
Does it smell of piss? rubschin:
It may be the two combined that creates a chemical chain reaction leading to a much pukinesshumongos stench.
I'll go and ask Mrs G what it is that I banned her from wearing, and if she can confirm if this rosewater is a vile as Grump.M suggests.
She doesn't know. ::)
Looks like i'll have to ask directly next time...and I will, just to get to the bottom of it. Just hope and pray it's not thought of as being some sort of chat up line. eeek:
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Sandalwood spider:
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Sandalwood spider:
Dunno. D'y'do scratch 'n' sniff samples?
I've still got some of those from my British Gas days when we changed to North Sea gas. Problee woth a bloody fortune now. rubschin:
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Mud then! noooo:
In the shit here. WHY?
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Mud then! noooo:
In the shit here. WHY?
You asking or making a statement of fact? confused:
Bog seat? Mud? General wimmens growling?
You can't win.
Just agree and smile, then stick two fingers up when her back is turned, or even when she's facing you like I do sometimes. happy088
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I must admit that our path from the front gate to the house is lined on both sides with bushes of several varieties of Lavender
Ah yes, the lavender-scented bush. . . cloud9:
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WTF is it? It's vile and totally detestable. Are they all dykes, cus most men will run a mile after getting a whiff of it?
Because, they are worth it.
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I suggest, semi seriously, that Mr. Growler exits on this walks with a can of 'Oust' in his pocket then, when he passes any offending niffs, he can wipe his can of spray out and give the culprits a good spraying ;)
When dealing with the 'swarm of killer bees' yesterday BM says the customer sprayed himself with the local mosi killer spray stuff before exiting the house again - not sure I would have ::) when I use it 'lightly' in the rooms I spray and then runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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Many Old Ladies are so fearful of "smelling" that they do dowse themselves liberally with perfume or scent of one sort or another. One problem is that they perhaps are unable to "wash" theri "bits and pieces" due to their inability to get into or out of a bath. MiL is like this so drenches herself in what are pungent (and I don't doubt are expensive) scents, body sprays and God knows what else. Another factor is that many people it seems are unaware that body chemistry plays a big part in how a given perfume will smell on a person. Everyone is different. My brother can wear aftershaves that on me smell like cats piss for example. My first wife could not wear Chanel No5 .... it smelled awful on her but in the bottle it was lovely. Therein lies your main problem.
So to summarise
(i) The old dears are trying to mask often perceived rather than actual body smells
(ii) The old dears fail to realise that with age a perfume that has suited them for years is no longer appropriate
(iii) The old dears are wearing perfumes that they have had for years (for economy reasons usually)
(iv) The old dears are using stuff given them by their children and grandchildren "because granny likes this one" and no-one has considered that, post menopause, the scent of their youth is no longer the right one for them.
Just remember that they are trying and they are as happy as they can be given their circumstances. We all get older and old men smell too. The old dears whose smell you dislike probably find pipe smoke, gardening/potting shed smelling trousers, and old mens farts offensive whereas you don't notice them.
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Many Old Ladies are so fearful of "smelling" that they do dowse themselves liberally with perfume or scent of one sort or another. One problem is that they perhaps are unable to "wash" theri "bits and pieces" due to their inability to get into or out of a bath. MiL is like this so drenches herself in what are pungent (and I don't doubt are expensive) scents, body sprays and God knows what else. Another factor is that many people it seems are unaware that body chemistry plays a big part in how a given perfume will smell on a person. Everyone is different. My brother can wear aftershaves that on me smell like cats piss for example. My first wife could not wear Chanel No5 .... it smelled awful on her but in the bottle it was lovely. Therein lies your main problem.
So to summarise
(i) The old dears are trying to mask often perceived rather than actual body smells
(ii) The old dears fail to realise that with age a perfume that has suited them for years is no longer appropriate
(iii) The old dears are wearing perfumes that they have had for years (for economy reasons usually)
(iv) The old dears are using stuff given them by their children and grandchildren "because granny likes this one" and no-one has considered that, post menopause, the scent of their youth is no longer the right one for them.
Just remember that they are trying and they are as happy as they can be given their circumstances. We all get older and old men smell too. The old dears whose smell you dislike probably find pipe smoke, gardening/potting shed smelling trousers, and old mens farts offensive whereas you don't notice them.
None of the "my dog has no nose" jokes on you today. happ096
he can wipe his can of spray out and give the culprits a good spraying
I thought as the lady of the house, you would have the "wipe hand"? whistle: