The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: GROWLER on April 03, 2008, 06:16:33 PM
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Had a new kitchen installed about 5 years ago, complete with 'teracotta' coloured floor tiles. Looked fine, but bloody dangerous when even damp. Many falls and tears over the last few years, and as for dropping anything on it............ eeek:
If you were to drop a flamin' bomb on the house, the kitchen floor would remain intact.
Many dishes and milk bottles have sucumbed to it's evil hardness, disintergrating into millions of pieces upon impact.
I told Mrs G that we needed somethin' a bit softer in there, so she went out and ordered some random floor covering after actually agreeing with me.
It arrived today, and was fitted by the time I got back off me hike.
It looks virtually identical, feels nearly as hard, and now the bloody kitchen door won't close 'cus of the increased floor height. Banghead
Another 'in a minute' job beckons.
I thought she'd ordered kitchen carpet tiles! I despair. evil:
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Have a kebab!
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Have a kebab!
Why? I've had spaghetti bolanais #2 tonight, and it DIDN'T end up on the floor this time either.
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I've had spaghetti bolanais #2 tonight, and it DIDN'T end up on the floor this time either.
It would have been softer than the tiles.
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I thought she'd ordered kitchen carpet tiles! I despair. evil:
I feel the same about 'kitchen carpet tiles' as you feel about 'wimmen smelling of lavender' I think evil:
Nasty nasty things that are supposed to be easy to clean (lies) warm and comforting (lies) and easily replaceable (lies lies and more damn lies) cussing:
We had them once (as you might have guess) in the UK and they sucked.................. I back Mrs. G in her WISE CHOICE of not going for the blooming things
redface:Sorry if I offend anyone with kitchen tiles, not intentional honestly redface:
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I thought she'd ordered kitchen carpet tiles! I despair. evil:
I feel the same about 'kitchen carpet tiles' as you feel about 'wimmen smelling of lavender' I think evil:
Nasty nasty things that are supposed to be easy to clean (lies) warm and comforting (lies) and easily replaceable (lies lies and more damn lies) cussing:
We had them once (as you might have guess) in the UK and they sucked.................. I back Mrs. G in her WISE CHOICE of not going for the blooming things
redface:Sorry if I offend anyone with kitchen tiles, not intentional honestly redface:
See also carpets in bathrooms! sick2:
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I agree with Landlady! Carpet in kitchens and bathrooms should be banned! My only requirement of flooring in those rooms is that they be easy to clean and don't suck up liquid. But then I'm the sort of person that grew up with terracota tile and marble flooring so I'm used to it and much prefer it. Especially now I'm supposed to clean the bloody floot! evil:
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And you don't even have two small boys + their friends using your bathroom sick2:
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No I have a drunken Mr Wench and his friends. evil:
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Mrs S assures me that rubbing their noses in it is no longer an acceptable training procedure. evil:
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Strange that is what Mr Wench said. rubschin:
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'kitchen carpet tiles' . . We had them once in the UK and they sucked
Now I understand why Snoopy spends so much time lying on the floor in the kitchen.
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Any of you wimmen ended up crackin' your head open on these floor tiles then?
Mrs G ended up in hossy during our disatrous holiday in Zante last October.
Shower, wet, floor, slip, smack...BIG smack, ended up for a day in something akin to an 1800's prison.
Mini moose went into the kitchen one day last year, bare feet granted, floor was a bit damp due to cooking, slipped and head butted the cooker.
I've fallen over in there too, but it didn't knock any sense into me sadly.
Tiles? Swimming pools and karzi's only.
I'll grant you that they do look nice and are easy to clean....apparently. ;)
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You have the wrong sort of tile old man.
The Dutch use "hard" tiles in all kitchens and bathrooms and in all the years we have been going over there none of us has ever slipped.
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Any of you wimmen ended up crackin' your head open on these floor tiles then?
Mrs G ended up in hossy during our disatrous holiday in Zante last October.
Shower, wet, floor, slip, smack...BIG smack, ended up for a day in something akin to an 1800's prison.
Mini moose went into the kitchen one day last year, bare feet granted, floor was a bit damp due to cooking, slipped and head butted the cooker.
I've fallen over in there too, but it didn't knock any sense into me sadly.
Tiles? Swimming pools and karzi's only.
I'll grant you that they do look nice and are easy to clean....apparently. ;)
In my experience it only takes one bad slip to be more careful. We were never allowed to barefoot in the house mainly because of that reason. We all had espadrilles that were used as summer slippers because of the wet issues. In the bathroom we had mats with antislip bottoms. See always an answer. ;)
I did have one big fall where I slipped in the bathroom and smacked my lip on the bidet. It swelled up a treat!
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You have the wrong sort of tile old man.
The Dutch use "hard" tiles in all kitchens and bathrooms and in all the years we have been going over there none of us has ever slipped.
I don't live in flamin' Holland though. This is shite GB.
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Anyway. The point of all this is the fact that we've now got something on the floor, that looks virtually the same as what directly underneath it, and is nearly as slippy....AND I've now got to take the bloody door off to sand it's bottom down to enable it to close. cussing:
In other words....£100+ wasted. cussing:
WIMMEN! cussing:
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rubschin: point taken but seriously it is a matter of the right/wrong sort of tiles.
http://www.wallsandfloors.co.uk/catdetails.php?cid=21
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rubschin: point taken but seriously it is a matter of the right/wrong sort of tiles.
If all these 'incidents' had taken place in a public place, we'd be minted now.
H&S. ;)
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Anyway. The point of all this is the fact that we've now got something on the floor, that looks virtually the same as what directly underneath it, and is nearly as slippy....AND I've now got to take the bloody door off to sand it's bottom down to enable it to close. cussing:
In other words....£100+ wasted. cussing:
WIMMEN! cussing:
That is true! ;D So £100 plus your time and the electricity to power the tools. rubschin:
Do you think that Mrs Growler knew this was going to happen and that is why she didn't kick off about the pan? rubschin:
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Anyway. The point of all this is the fact that we've now got something on the floor, that looks virtually the same as what directly underneath it, and is nearly as slippy....AND I've now got to take the bloody door off to sand it's bottom down to enable it to close. cussing:
In other words....£100+ wasted. cussing:
WIMMEN! cussing:
That is true! ;D So £100 plus your time and the electricity to power the tools. rubschin:
Do you think that Mrs Growler knew this was going to happen and that is why she didn't kick off about the pan? rubschin:
I don't see Ladbrooks rushing to offer odds against that theory. Devious critters wimmin.
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Anyway. The point of all this is the fact that we've now got something on the floor, that looks virtually the same as what directly underneath it, and is nearly as slippy....AND I've now got to take the bloody door off to sand it's bottom down to enable it to close. cussing:
In other words....£100+ wasted. cussing:
WIMMEN! cussing:
That is true! ;D So £100 plus your time and the electricity to power the tools. rubschin:
Do you think that Mrs Growler knew this was going to happen and that is why she didn't kick off about the pan? rubschin:
NOTHING would suprise me. I'm unsupriseable now.
It's not the car anyway. Went over it 'with a fine toothcomb' last night
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... I did have one big fall where I slipped in the bathroom and smacked my lip on the bidet. It swelled up a treat!
Does it only affect lips this way. I have an idea
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Forget it .... It won't work. ::)
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... I did have one big fall where I slipped in the bathroom and smacked my lip on the bidet. It swelled up a treat!
Does it only affect lips this way. I have an idea
So it makes the bidet swell up? What do you want, a giant basin?
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Just strap snow shoes to your feet before entering the kitchen.
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Just strap snow shoes to your feet before entering the kitchen.
Some people just can't fall over
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVwVvSi.jpg&hash=aab141d5708509140e7e2f0fbe17b0ca16f0dbca) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVwVvSi)
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Weebles wooble but they never fall down.
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Anyway. The point of all this is the fact that we've now got something on the floor, that looks virtually the same as what directly underneath it, and is nearly as slippy....AND I've now got to take the bloody door off to sand it's bottom down to enable it to close. cussing:
In other words....£100+ wasted. cussing:
WIMMEN! cussing:
Cut a section out of the new flooring where the door swings - that'll bloody show her! point:
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Weebles wooble but they never fall down.
That is indeed what I was trying to infer. doh:
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Weebles wooble but they never fall down.
'Weebles wooble but they don't fall down' I think you'll find... ::)
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Weebles wooble but they never fall down.
'Weebles wooble but they don't fall down' I think you'll find... ::)
In truth, the number of Weebles that can wooble is on the decline, those which wobble are taking over. noooo:
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Weebles wooble but they never fall down.
'Weebles wooble but they don't fall down' I think you'll find... ::)
In truth, the number of Weebles that can wooble is on the decline, those which wobble are taking over. noooo:
Yes, wobble... redface:
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Weebles wooble but they never fall down.
That is indeed what I was trying to infer. doh:
Too subtle DS noooo:
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Satans floor covering saga just gets worse.
I gets home in a vile and shitty mood, after a totally crap morning of chasing me tail for no financial reward whatsoever, to be greeted with..."the washing machine won't work". cussing:
So I's have to drag the washing machine out to check the plug fuse, and managed to damage the new floor covering in the process.
"Lift the machine up, don't drag it" is all she can scream at me, as my temper and bloody blood pressure get worse by the micro second.
Give me the strength of a herd of bastard stampeding widerbeast. cussing:
"I can't you raging munter. Firstly it weighs about 9 million tons, and secondly it stuffed under the worktop, and because of your useless gormless rabid twatish shitty new floor covering lino, the gap has now been further reduced to approx 0.5 of a whoering cm."
The wires in the plug had been strained to breaking point and blown the fuse when the carpet toss pot fitter dragged the machine out yesterday...nice and easy on the existing tiles. ::)
The kitchen is now covered in water, and her precious new LINO is torn.
Carpet tiles,as I suggested, would have been easily lifted up and repalced without fuss after.
I'm seriously considering suicide presently, as I HAVE now lost the will to carry on with this muppet show. cussing:
I'm going for a lie down. cloud9:
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Satans floor covering saga just gets worse.
I gets home in a vile and shitty mood, after a totally crap morning of chasing me tail for no financial reward whatsoever, to be greeted with..."the washing machine won't work". cussing:
So I's have to drag the washing machine out to check the plug fuse, and managed to damage the new floor covering in the process.
"Lift the machine up, don't drag it" is all she can scream at me, as my temper and bloody blood pressure get worse by the micro second.
Give me the strength of a herd of bastard stampeding widerbeast. cussing:
"I can't you raging munter. Firstly it weighs about 9 million tons, and secondly it stuffed under the worktop, and because of your useless gormless rabid twatish shitty new floor covering lino, the gap has now been further reduced to approx 0.5 of a whoering cm."
The wires in the plug had been strained to breaking point and blown the fuse when the carpet toss pot fitter dragged the machine out yesterday...nice and easy on the existing tiles. ::)
The kitchen is now covered in water, and her precious new LINO is torn.
Carpet tiles,as I suggested, would have been easily lifted up and repalced without fuss after.
I'm seriously considering suicide presently, as I HAVE now lost the will to carry on with this muppet show. cussing:
I'm going for a lie down. cloud9:
This kind of stuff makes me feel better about myself
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What's left of my brain is currently simmering on regulo 9.
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Well don't burn the pan
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Satans floor covering saga just gets worse.
I gets home in a vile and shitty mood, after a totally crap morning of chasing me tail for no financial reward whatsoever, to be greeted with..."the washing machine won't work". cussing:
So I's have to drag the washing machine out to check the plug fuse, and managed to damage the new floor covering in the process.
"Lift the machine up, don't drag it" is all she can scream at me, as my temper and bloody blood pressure get worse by the micro second.
Give me the strength of a herd of bastard stampeding widerbeast. cussing:
"I can't you raging munter. Firstly it weighs about 9 million tons, and secondly it stuffed under the worktop, and because of your useless gormless rabid twatish shitty new floor covering lino, the gap has now been further reduced to approx 0.5 of a whoering cm."
The wires in the plug had been strained to breaking point and blown the fuse when the carpet toss pot fitter dragged the machine out yesterday...nice and easy on the existing tiles. ::)
The kitchen is now covered in water, and her precious new LINO is torn.
Carpet tiles,as I suggested, would have been easily lifted up and repalced without fuss after.
I'm seriously considering suicide presently, as I HAVE now lost the will to carry on with this muppet show. cussing:
I'm going for a lie down. cloud9:
happy100
I have no further defense for my kind with this story.
noooo:
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I'm seriously considering suicide presently
Patio first remember. eyes:
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The trick is to put some washing up liquid on the lino before sliding the washing machine over it… whistle:
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Never do it any other way meself whistle: whistle:
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Never do it any other way meself whistle: whistle:
And always put some under the feet before pushing it back into place... doesn't stick to the lino then... whistle:
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'cactly. whistle: whistle: whistle:
Sometimes I find a tea towel on top of the washing up liquid gives something to pull at to get it started like ~ when it is too tight to the worktop to get your fingers in.
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'cactly. whistle: whistle: whistle:
Sometimes I find a tea towel on top of the washing up liquid gives something to pull at to get it started like ~ when it is too tight to the worktop to get your fingers in.
I thought everybody knew that
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'cactly. whistle: whistle: whistle:
Sometimes I find a tea towel on top of the washing up liquid gives something to pull at to get it started like ~ when it is too tight to the worktop to get your fingers in.
Of course... I thought that went without saying? noooo:
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lol: lol: lol: (you barstewards)
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lol: lol: lol: (you barstewards)
TBH I want to know what he's playing at spoiling the woman with a washing machine. They live that close to the river she could walk down and bash his shreddies off a rock until they were clean.
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lol: lol: lol: (you barstewards)
TBH I want to know what he's playing at spoiling the woman with a washing machine. They live that close to the river she could walk down and bash his shreddies off a rock until they were clean.
A washing machine and new lino... rubschin:
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I'm seriously considering suicide presently
Patio first remember. eyes:
Could cover THAT with the monster amount of left over lino.
Mrs G suggested using it to place on the garage floor.
I 'politely' told her to fuck off in a very unpolite tone of voice cussing:
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I'm seriously considering suicide presently
Patio first remember. eyes:
Could cover THAT with the monster amount of left over lino.
Mrs G suggested using it to place on the garage floor.
Well that sounds just lovely... cloud9:
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lol: lol: lol: (you barstewards)
TBH I want to know what he's playing at spoiling the woman with a washing machine. They live that close to the river she could walk down and bash his shreddies off a rock until they were clean.
Something tells me that she would be done for damaging the environment if she did that.... whistle:
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lol: lol: lol: (you barstewards)
TBH I want to know what he's playing at spoiling the woman with a washing machine. They live that close to the river she could walk down and bash his shreddies off a rock until they were clean.
Something tells me that she would be done for damaging the environment if she did that.... whistle:
And how about the rights of the rock too? cussing:
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doh:
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She's out cutting the grass. I've suggested in my best sarcasm that after she's finished she covers it with lino remnants.
THIS has been a right old load of durge of a week. What delights await me for the weekend I wonder.
P'raps I should go up on the roof to check the tiles BM style? If they're slippy, I could lino them p'raps? ::)
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She's out cutting the grass. I've suggested in my best sarcasm that after she's finished she covers it with lino remnants.
THIS has been a right old load of durge of a week. What delights await me for the weekend I wonder.
P'raps I should go up on the roof to check the tiles BM style? If they're slippy, I could lino them p'raps? ::)
Did you get attacked by bees tho? noooo: