The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: GROWLER on April 05, 2008, 08:58:48 PM
-
I want a dog, but I don't.
What i really mean is that I want one, but it'll have to fit a certain criteria:
It MUSN'T be a wumman dog.
It must be obedient. (see above)
It must love BIG walks in the wild.
It musn't be moulting all over my pride and joy.
It MUSN'T stink like some dogs do.
It musn't strain on the leash.
It musn't go chasing after every animal it sees.
It musn't hump everyones leg.
It must be affectionate and bark and wag its tail when it greets me.
It must be my bessy mate.
It can be a mongrel.
It can be ugly with one eye.
It can bark and bite undesirables
Am I lookin' for the impossible? rubschin:
-
I think this is as close as you will get to your wish list.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1uJrHA.jpg&hash=9da721613924bc0173fbeb0ef44f80f5d23487f8) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1uJrHA)
-
I want a dog, but I don't.
What i really mean is that I want one, but it'll have to fit a certain criteria:
It MUSN'T be a wumman dog.
It must be obedient. (see above)
It must love BIG walks in the wild.
It musn't be moulting all over my pride and joy.
It MUSN'T stink like some dogs do.
It musn't strain on the leash.
It musn't go chasing after every animal it sees.
It musn't hump everyones leg.
It must be affectionate and bark and wag its tail when it greets me.
It must be my bessy mate.
It can be a mongrel.
It can be ugly with one eye.
It can bark and bite undesirables
Am I lookin' for the impossible? rubschin:
You have described my dog... cloud9:
-
You have described my dog... cloud9:
I'm on me way then. ;)
Seriously. As much as I love me own company, it'd be soooo nice having a '4 legged Growler' to accompany me and talk to, but I really couldn't cope with all the dog hairs....that's probably my biggest concern, that and that rancid slobbery smell that they often seem to emit. sick2:
P'raps I should go and have a sniff around the dogs home? rubschin:
Such an attractive proposition though...no nagging, no arguing, pleased to see you, grateful, happy, and no trips to B&longQ to worry about, oh, and NO bloody linolium either. evil:
Of course the other thing that has to be considered is 'D' day too.
I've seen big tough grown men completely crumble when the envitable happens. sad32:
-
I believe poodles don't moult. Could you see yourself with one of these?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVMMyk0.jpg&hash=5017a3102d139a7ca1da2b82b48bc2a595027c7f) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVMMyk0)
-
I believe poodles don't moult. Could you see yourself with one of these?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVMMyk0.jpg&hash=5017a3102d139a7ca1da2b82b48bc2a595027c7f) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVMMyk0)
I want a dog, not a bloody poofed up blue rinsed fashion accessory. cussing:
-
Who else has got a 'real' dog in here then?
-
Skilos is not a poodle! Banghead
-
I still have the two black and tan ones, the white one went to doggy heaven two years ago
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVMQjhA.jpg&hash=f2607045541d34ad8fc3afe6100a06ce098a6e05) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVMQjhA)
-
You could adopt Snoopy. He fits most of those criteria except for the leg humping one (allegedly).
-
I still have the two black and tan ones, the white one went to doggy heaven two years ago
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVMQjhA.jpg&hash=f2607045541d34ad8fc3afe6100a06ce098a6e05) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVMQjhA)
Proper mans dogs those, but a bit on the moulty side, yes?
Bit big for me anyway.
I'd be lookin' for a standard sized dog with NO frills whatsoever...bit like me, basic and earthy, straight to the point, unloved, gruff and faithful, and with some deep down friendliness trying to get out.
Saw someone with a Husky..... or it could have been a Wolf tbh., whilst out in the hills earlier this week. Gorgeous creature.
-
You could adopt Snoopy. He fits most of those criteria except for the leg humping one (allegedly).
evil: And I don't do walks o'er hill and dale.
However dogs only smell if they are fed certain foods. e.g. Any dog fed on "Chappy" will smell like a ..... wet dog.
Proper feeding, grooming etc will keep the hairs to a minimum and also the doggy smell. If you want a dog that loves walks on open countryside, is willing and happy to live "outside" (get a good kennel with a raised sleeping shelf) and will tolerate other people but be a one man dog then a border collie is your best bet. They do need regular "working" ~ which doesn't mean having them round up sheep ~ but the exercise and being given instructions to "Come By" and the like is what they need and enjoy every day. They normally live to be about 14/15 so get a young 'un (they are not cheap) and learn with the animal how to "work" and you will have a companion for many years to come.
I know (vaguely) the Welsh Champion Sheep Dog Trials chap ( he was once the UK champ and has been on One man & his Dog a number of times) and he breeds, sells and trains them not far from here. He also teaches buyers how to handle them but, like I say, it ain't cheap.
Here's my man: http://www.aled-owen-sheepdogs.co.uk/dogs.asp
He is a nice bloke ~ a bit "Welsh" but a man's man.
-
You could adopt Snoopy. He fits most of those criteria except for the leg humping one (allegedly).
evil: And I don't do walks o'er hill and dale.
However dogs only smell if they are fed certain foods. e.g. Any dog fed on "Chappy" will smell like a ..... wet dog.
Proper feeding, grooming etc will keep the hairs to a minimum and also the doggy smell. If you want a dog that loves walks on open countryside, is willing and happy to live "outside" (get a good kennel with a raised sleeping shelf) and will tolerate other people but be a one man dog then a border collie is your best bet. They do need regular "working" ~ which doesn't mean having them round up sheep ~ but the exercise and being given instructions to "Come By" and the like is what they need and enjoy every day. They normally live to be about 14/15 so get a young 'un (they are not cheap) and learn with the animal how to "work" and you will have a companion for many years to come.
I know (vaguely) the Welsh Champion Sheep Dog Trials chap ( he was once the UK champ and has been on One man & his Dog a number of times) and he breeds, sells and trains them not far from here. He also teaches buyers how to handle them but, like I say, it ain't cheap.
He is a nice bloke ~ a bit "Welsh" but a man's man.
= Snoopy CV. whistle:
We had border collies in the old days. Very clever and also obedient.
-
I was with him up to the bit about all that hill walking. noooo:
-
Labrador? (Chocolate coloured sort?)
-
I'd second the lab idea. We had one for years that was totally my Dad's dog. Beyond faithful and if trained then very obedient so no straining or running off. Also kid friendly.
-
How about the dog in the Volkswagen Polo advert? Looks like he's out of a job now noooo:
-
How about the dog in the Volkswagen Polo advert? Looks like he's out of a job now noooo:
Unfortunately it came as no surprise that they pulled the ad. Have these idiots got nothing better to do.
Give the dog a bloody Oscar. In fact give them both an award, the one in the car has a great voice
-
Have they pulled it? ..... I saw it last night
-
Have they pulled it? ..... I saw it last night
Why have they pulled it then? confused:
Animal rights brigade objecting to exploiting them or something? ::)
-
On local radio this morning they said it had been pulled. confused: However, I've just done a Google news search and without reading any of the links, it seems that momentum is growing for its removal
http://news.google.co.uk/news?hl=en&tab=wn&ned=uk&q=vw+ad
-
Some dogs do "shiver" like that anyway .... without any mistreatment but I suspect this has more to do with computer enhanced pictures. Either way I do not find the advert appealing, in fact when we saw it last night, the whole family said "That's an awful ad". If anything I think I would be put off buying a VW by that ad.
-
On local radio this morning they said it had been pulled. confused: However, I've just done a Google news search and without reading any of the links, it seems that momentum is growing for its removal
http://news.google.co.uk/news?hl=en&tab=wn&ned=uk&q=vw+ad
(ASA), but the regulator says it will not investigate.
The 30-second execution by DDB London features a Jack Russell "singing" in the front seat of a car, but then cuts to shots of the animal shaking and cowering by his owner's legs and mumbling the song under its breath when it is no longer in the vehicle.
The ASA says it has received more than 500 complaints from members of the public and animal rights campaigners concerned the dog had been mistreated. However, it says it will not take any action as the advertiser confirmed that vets were on hand throughout the filming and that the two dogs used in the ad were "highly trained".
Well THAT was predictable and a fairly safe bet ey?
Bloody do gooders. cussing:
-
Still a crap advert for a crap car.
-
I must say I did find it rather disturbing too.
-
I must say I did find it rather disturbing too.
As a Nissan owner the shock of a VW is quite understandable.
-
WARNING - I see a Datsun cogs joke somewhere on the horizon - WARNING
-
WARNING - I see a Datsun cogs joke somewhere on the horizon - WARNING
evil:
-
I have a Citroen. Must be worth a bit 'cos the bloke what painted it signed it.
He did some other stuff too.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fi82.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj277%2Fvideolicious%2Fpablo_picasso_guernica_625x362.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNENaaRry0cNLjhR9NPicdQBn9K86Q&hash=32224b6838ef2ae097753abec71f3b91ac38d2b8)
-
I have a Citroen. Must be worth a bit 'cos the bloke what painted it signed it.
He did some other stuff too.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fi82.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj277%2Fvideolicious%2Fpablo_picasso_guernica_625x362.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNENaaRry0cNLjhR9NPicdQBn9K86Q&hash=32224b6838ef2ae097753abec71f3b91ac38d2b8)
Looks like "Nick goes to Aintree".
-
I have a Citroen. Must be worth a bit 'cos the bloke what painted it signed it.
He did some other stuff too.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fi82.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj277%2Fvideolicious%2Fpablo_picasso_guernica_625x362.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNENaaRry0cNLjhR9NPicdQBn9K86Q&hash=32224b6838ef2ae097753abec71f3b91ac38d2b8)
Looks like "Nick goes to Aintree".
"Nick does Aintree" a sort of "Debbie does Dallas" remake featuring our own hero ~ the mind boggles. lol:
-
I have a Citroen. Must be worth a bit 'cos the bloke what painted it signed it.
He did some other stuff too.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fi82.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj277%2Fvideolicious%2Fpablo_picasso_guernica_625x362.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNENaaRry0cNLjhR9NPicdQBn9K86Q&hash=32224b6838ef2ae097753abec71f3b91ac38d2b8)
Looks like "Nick goes to Aintree".
"Nick does Aintree" a sort of "Debbie does Dallas" remake featuring our own hero ~ the mind boggles. lol:
scared2: scared2:
-
I go and have a nap for a couple ouf hours and find this evil:
-
Well cheer up ~ it proves you are NEVER out of our thoughts.
-
I go and have a nap for a couple ouf hours and find this evil:
Sleeping on the job ay? noooo:
-
We had visitors over the weekend.Too many late nights noooo:
-
Age is catching up with you my boy. Time was when you would have partied all weekend and not given it a thought.
-
So did I and I am here!
-
Wot Snoopy said! cry:
-
point:
-
sad24:
-
I feel a bit sick2:
-
A baby by Christmas cloud9:
-
eeek: THE Baby surely
-
Banghead
-
Banghead
I think I can see the problem ......................... Too many headaches. whistle:
-
Immaculate Conception? eeek:
In Sarf London? eeek: eeek:
Is there a pub called the Ass and Stable anywhere thereabouts?
-
Immaculate Conception? eeek:
In Sarf London? eeek: eeek:
Is there a pub called the Ass and Stable anywhere thereabouts?
Three wise men ~ One virgin? Nah can't be done mate ........ not in Sarf London anyway.
-
evil:
-
evil:
Prove me wrong petal whistle:
-
eeek:
-
So, you all had relations at the weekend then? eyes:
-
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmarkontheworld.files.wordpress.com%2F2007%2F08%2Fline-in-the-snad.jpg&hash=f4f3312f42951cfd1625012238191db77a6a301a)
evil:
-
I'm only asking you to find three wise men .......................... No need to get huffy
-
YEAH RIGHT!
-
Immaculate Conception? eeek:
In Sarf London? eeek: eeek:
Is there a pub called the Ass and Stable anywhere thereabouts?
Three wise men ~ One virgin? Nah can't be done mate ........ not in Sarf London anyway.
NORTH EAST SURREY, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW. AND DON'T YOU BLOODY FORGET IT !!! cussing:
-
Immaculate Conception? eeek:
In Sarf London? eeek: eeek:
Is there a pub called the Ass and Stable anywhere thereabouts?
Three wise men ~ One virgin? Nah can't be done mate ........ not in Sarf London anyway.
NORTH EAST SURREY, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW. AND DON'T YOU BLOODY FORGET IT !!! cussing:
And which vacancy are you applying for?
-
With that attitude ~ the virgin I'd imagine
-
With that attitude ~ the virgin I'd imagine
Well there sure as hell aren't any in Essex... eveilgrin:
-
;D ;D ;D
Q: What does an Essex girl say after sex?
A: "Do you really all play for the same football team?"
Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an ironing board?
A: An ironing boards legs are difficult to part.
Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an Essex boy?
A: An Essex girl has a higher sperm count.
Q: Why do Essex Girls wear knickers?
A: To keep their ankles warm
-
Oi! DOGS! cussing:
-
We are voting on the matter elsewhere
-
Oi! DOGS! cussing:
Dogs, Essex girls ~ what's the problem? ;)
-
I told you ~ get a black and white. I even gave you the link to the breeder. Angry9:
-
I told you ~ get a black and white. I even gave you the link to the breeder. Angry9:
An American police car?
-
I told you ~ get a black and white. I even gave you the link to the breeder. Angry9:
An American police car?
NO! That would have read "I even gave you a link to the bleeder".
Not a bad idea tho' ........
Growler and Nick Starring in the Off Topic Tribute to:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagecache2.allposters.com%2Fimages%2Fpic%2FDES%2FD1377%7EBlues-Brothers-Posters.jpg&hash=ececb86da8decf31ea5d5e5878c36df084841ae5)
-
Just to please Growler, I would still recommend Border Collies or Labradors.
You could nip across the Pennines and pick up a nice Whippet and matching flat-hat of course . .
-
Aye .... now that's a good idea lad ~ Whippet on't bit o' string se'thee.
Tha' could also do Nick a favour like and start trainin' them pigeons o' his, they're proper bothersome t'lad.
-
Just to please Growler, I would still recommend Border Collies or Labradors.
Totally agree. Shorter haired sort of the former and choccy sort of the latter cloud9:
-
Just to please Growler, I would still recommend Border Collies or Labradors.
Totally agree. Shorter haired sort of the former and choccy sort of the latter cloud9:
You got a grand to give me then? ::)
With the horrendous amount of unloved/abandoned dogs in all the rescues now, i feel almost duty bound to give them a looking at tbh, and of course, these dogs have been thouroughly vetted for both health and behaviour, vaccinated, and normally with some sort of vet fees insurance
More often than not, chipped too.
-
Trouble with that idea is that you are likely to fall in love with every second pooch in the place and then you have to make a choice or take home a dozen dogs!
I have had "rescue" dogs most of my life (until second marriage anyway) and they were all different and all wonderful but making the choice was always the hardest bit because I felt sorry for them all ~ which is why we always had more than one dog in the house.
-
I can't go in the places. They make me cry after seeing the first three dogs. I can't make a decision when faced with that amount of heartbreak. sad24:
-
Trouble with that idea is that you are likely to fall in love with every second pooch in the place and then you have to make a choice or take home a dozen dogs!
I have had "rescue" dogs most of my life (until second marriage anyway) and they were all different and all wonderful but making the choice was always the hardest bit because I felt sorry for them all ~ which is why we always had more than one dog in the house.
I feel like that about most dogs though tbh. I look in envy at the owners of their well behaved mutts sometimes.
I really need a good friend now to accompany me in my 'outdoor gym'.
Just got to get my head around the possible smell, hairs everywhere, and those 'little pink bags' that you have to carry all the time.
Supposed to be good for your health and happiness too, apparently.
Can you imagine me being happy!!? happy001
No. I can't either. ::)
-
I can't go in the places. They make me cry after seeing the first three dogs. I can't make a decision when faced with that amount of heartbreak. sad24:
Is that where Mr Wench came from then? eveilgrin:
-
Just to please Growler, I would still recommend Border Collies or Labradors.
Totally agree. Shorter haired sort of the former and choccy sort of the latter cloud9:
You got a grand to give me then? ::)
With the horrendous amount of unloved/abandoned dogs in all the rescues now, i feel almost duty bound to give them a looking at tbh, and of course, these dogs have been thouroughly vetted for both health and behaviour, vaccinated, and normally with some sort of vet fees insurance
More often than not, chipped too.
I know a man locally who breeds labradors.Not personally of course, he sort of supervises! rubschin: