The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on April 10, 2008, 08:25:25 AM
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1.Quietly eating breakfast (coffee and fag) when The Boy say,"Daddy."
"Yes?"
"Daddy, why is there water coming out of the kitchen lights?"
eeek:
Another effing radiator gone Banghead Banghead Banghead
Take The Boy to school.Idiot in front of me jumps a red light and broadside another car, blocking junction.
Both wimmin.Both in tears!
Stop at shop on way home.Woman in front of me is telling shop assistant a long tale and I have to stand there while they chatter. What were they talking about? People who hold up queues in shops by chattering? evil:
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1.Quietly eating breakfast (coffee and fag) when The Boy say,"Daddy."
"Yes?"
"Daddy, why is there water coming out of the kitchen lights?"
eeek:
Another effing radiator gone Banghead Banghead Banghead
Take The Boy to school.Idiot in front of me jumps a red light and broadside another car, blocking junction.
Both wimmin.Both in tears!
Stop at shop on way home.Woman in front of me is telling shop assistant a long tale and I have to stand there while they chatter. What were they talking about? People who hold up queues in shops by chattering? evil:
happy100
Perhaps you should go back to bed for the rest of the day?
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Ooh, this is just like "what happens next?" on Question of Sport
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Ooh, this is just like "what happens next?" on Question of Sport
;D
1) Nick goes back to bed and hides under the covers
2) The roof caves in
3) The over talkative painter arrives unexpectedly
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evil:
I am convinced there is more to come..........
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evil:
I am convinced there is more to come..........
I am taking a truck load of shite to the tip - what could go wrong? scared2:
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Brake too hard and it will be joining you in the front seat.
Why do you collect shite anyway? Or is this just tat?
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Brake too hard and it will be joining you in the front seat.
Why do you collect shite anyway? Or is this just tat?
About fifty million bags of garden rubbish that LL has culled...
Loads of old cable and boxes an' stuff from my installations... plus some old batteries and stuff that I shouldn't really be dumping... whistle:
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Why do you collect shite anyway? Or is this just tat?
He makes coffee with it whistle:
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Years ago we went on a visit to Mrs Nick's nasty sister who gaves us six bags of horse shit.
It was the start of a driving holiday and the stuff sat in the back of my car for 10 days!!
In the summer.
eeek:
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...
Why do you collect shite anyway? Or is this just tat?
He makes coffee with it whistle:
drumroll:
I wish I could sell £50 cups o' coffee made from dog shyte - I'd be a squillionaire... cloud9:
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Years ago we went on a visit to Mrs Nick's nasty sister who gaves us six bags of horse shit.
It was the start of a driving holiday and the stuff sat in the back of my car for 10 days!!
In the summer.
eeek:
Why didn't you just dump it at the roadside after day 1? noooo:
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Mrs Nick wouldn't let me. Dolt
We never used it though
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Years ago we went on a visit to Mrs Nick's nasty sister who gaves us six bags of horse shit.
It was the start of a driving holiday and the stuff sat in the back of my car for 10 days!!
In the summer.
eeek:
Why didn't you just dump it at the roadside after day 1? noooo:
Or why didn't you just pick it up at the end of the driving holiday?
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She lives in Burnley.We were heading off to North Yorkshire before returning to London.
I caught a mysterious bug when we got back and ended up in hospital.
All my hair fell out and I lost all my fingernails and toenails.
Turned out to be Scarlet Fever evil:
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She lives in Burnley.We were heading off to North Yorkshire before returning to London.
I caught a mysterious bug when we got back and ended up in hospital.
All my hair fell out and I lost all my fingernails and toenails.
Turned out to be Scarlet Fever evil:
Can you catch that from inhaling horse-shite fumes then?
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Mrs Nick wouldn't let me. Dolt
We never used it though
So what exactly DID you do with it?
Dump it at the roadside? ::)
Oh, and what's all this about traffic lights on the way to dropping 'The Boy' off at school? There aren't any. confused:
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No, we took it back to London and left it in the bags in the garden, of course.
And Scarlet Fever is a streptococchyal infection, so possibly horse shit in origin. The doctors all asked "Have you been to Africa recently?" before I was diagnosed.
Not very reassuring. evil:
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No, we took it back to London and left it in the bags in the garden, of course.
Of course... doh:
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Mrs Nick wouldn't let me. Dolt
We never used it though
So what exactly DID you do with it?
Dump it at the roadside? ::)
Oh, and what's all this about traffic lights on the way to dropping 'The Boy' off at school? There aren't any. confused:
Yes there are you idiot. Middle of Neston, next to the Chinese where they are doing all those stupid building works and have turned one road one way.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1jfwRA.jpg&hash=cd99f55d50badaca564533dde278ce289ba5ce4f) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1jfwRA)
SEE?!
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I'm off to the tip then... no traffic lights... noooo:
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Years ago we went on a visit to Mrs Nick's nasty sister who gaves us six bags of horse shit.
It was the start of a driving holiday and the stuff sat in the back of my car for 10 days!!
In the summer.
eeek:
Nick tries to find a way of getting the horse-shite in the car
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1jiYS0.jpg&hash=0dd947fa555e1d806d495fa37915f911d695a0fb) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1jiYS0)
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Mission Accomplished… cloud9:
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That was quick.
More work on the trellis then?
Or urgent business "elsewhere"? eyes:
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That was quick.
More work on the trellis then?
Or urgent business "elsewhere"? eyes:
Trellis finished... stuff dumped... nice big cup o' tea and LL out for a few hours... cloud9:
Oh and it is raining so I can't go outside anyway... cloud9:
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All my hair fell out
Can you catch that from inhaling horse-shite fumes then?
Why would you be worried?
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drumroll:
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All my hair fell out
Can you catch that from inhaling horse-shite fumes then?
Why would you be worried?
noooo:
Have a smite for your trouble...
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Mrs Nick wouldn't let me. Dolt
We never used it though
So what exactly DID you do with it?
Dump it at the roadside? ::)
Oh, and what's all this about traffic lights on the way to dropping 'The Boy' off at school? There aren't any. confused:
Yes there are you idiot. Middle of Neston, next to the Chinese where they are doing all those stupid building works and have turned one road one way.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1jfwRA.jpg&hash=cd99f55d50badaca564533dde278ce289ba5ce4f) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1jfwRA)
SEE?!
Sorry. Bit behind the latest developments. See pm.
Didn't realise this was the 'new route' now. redface:
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I used to drive, daily, past a Pick Your Own farm. They had a nice large sign headed PYO and beneath the PYO a number of hooks from which they would have a variety of small boards detailing whatever produce was available. "Strawberries" "Blackcurrants" "Runner Beans" etc. These obviously changed with the seasons. At the bottom of their sign were the words, in bright red, "JUST DRIVE IN"
Passing the farm one evening on that way home I noted that a new and previously unseen product was available and the sign now read:
PYO
HORSE MANURE
JUST DRIVE IN
Laughed so hard nearly went into the car in front ~ the driver of which had also started to laugh. I suspect we both had the mental image of picking over the lumps of manure to select the best.
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Lots of horse activity in the village, but the poo gets shovelled up.Some people actually have shovels and bags to hand and listen for the tell tale clip clop.
Saddos noooo:
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Mrs Nick wouldn't let me. Dolt
We never used it though
So what exactly DID you do with it?
Dump it at the roadside? ::)
Oh, and what's all this about traffic lights on the way to dropping 'The Boy' off at school? There aren't any. confused:
Yes there are you idiot. Middle of Neston, next to the Chinese where they are doing all those stupid building works and have turned one road one way.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1jfwRA.jpg&hash=cd99f55d50badaca564533dde278ce289ba5ce4f) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1jfwRA)
SEE?!
Sorry. Bit behind the latest developments. See pm.
Didn't realise this was the 'new route' now. redface:
Thank you Mr Growler. 2 sets of lights and often many more when the bastards dig up the roads, which is a daily occurrence at the mo
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Lots of horse activity in the village, but the poo gets shovelled up.Some people actually have shovels and bags to hand and listen for the tell tale clip clop.
I think it is the "plip plop" you have to listen for actually.
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Me Dad used to give my brother and I sixpence for every bucket full we could get him for his garden. Mind it was easier then as the Milkman, Baker and the street cleaners all used Horse and Cart
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Mrs Nick wouldn't let me. Dolt
We never used it though
So what exactly DID you do with it?
Dump it at the roadside? ::)
Oh, and what's all this about traffic lights on the way to dropping 'The Boy' off at school? There aren't any. confused:
Yes there are you idiot. Middle of Neston, next to the Chinese where they are doing all those stupid building works and have turned one road one way.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1jfwRA.jpg&hash=cd99f55d50badaca564533dde278ce289ba5ce4f) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1jfwRA)
SEE?!
Sorry. Bit behind the latest developments. See pm.
Didn't realise this was the 'new route' now. redface:
Thank you Mr Growler. 2 sets of lights and often many more when the bastards dig up the roads, which is a daily occurrence at the mo
I know exactly where you mean now. 6 months to re-tile a roof or summat, so they close the bloody road.
H&S at it's British best. ::)
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14 weeks(allegedly)
God knows what they are doing. noooo:
And that is "its" btw.Do maintain your reputation! evil:
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Lots of horse activity in the village, but the poo gets shovelled up.Some people actually have shovels and bags to hand and listen for the tell tale clip clop.
Saddos noooo:
Judging by the spaced out vacant zombie look on most of the residents of said village, I suspect most of them are eating it....fried and stirred of course.
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Oy.I live here!
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Oy.I live here!
NYesssssssss!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnewsimg.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F38882000%2Fjpg%2F_38882487_paxman203.jpg&hash=830a64d6eee592c42dbc0fe2cd6c6707c7131479)
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Oy.I live here!
No you bloody well don't. ::)
You live in a very pleasant other part of the borough, with a different name 2 miles away.
Got their fair share of oddballs too though however, granted. whistle:
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evil:
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14 weeks(allegedly)
God knows what they are doing. noooo:
And that is "its" btw.Do maintain your reputation! evil:
Typo. I'm agitated this morning, and exceedingly bad tempered, as Mrs G hasn't gone to work and she keeps peering over my shoulder. evil:
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HI MRS G!!!
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Oops!
I can hear Growler'sscream from here! point: