The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on April 14, 2008, 08:08:02 AM

Title: People who offer "helpful" advice
Post by: Nick on April 14, 2008, 08:08:02 AM
 cussing:

So the veggy teetotallers have left after their visit.

Childless couple in their 50s.

All effing weekend we have had stuff like this re: The Boy

1. "He had some sweets this morning.You know, the yellow colouring in some can cause all kinds of problems. Have you thought of cutting that out?"

Us: "He lost a tooth the other day. The Tooth Fairy brings him a pound. His teeth are his only source of income. He chooses to spend the pound on sweets. It happens about once every six weeks. But thanks for the advice ( Banghead)"

2. "Have you thought of getting him into some group activites so he can have  a socialising period with other kids?"

Us: "Well he goes to school for 33 hours a week. Then on Mondays, Fridays and SUndays he has tennis.Tuesdays he has swimming.He is int he school orchestra. He goes to drama school on Saturdays. He plays with all the neighbours' kids. But thanks for the thought ( cussing:)"

3. "We noticed he had sausages at the restaurant. They may contain preservatives which could affect his metabolism"

Us: "Thanks. When we go to restaruants we can all choose what we have. The rest of the time we cook from scratch."  Banghead cussing:

Fortuantely, he got cross about some kite-flying incident on Sunday afternoon and kicked Mr Veg Teetotaller in the goolies.

That shut him up eveilgrin:
Title: Re: People who offer "helpful" advice
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 14, 2008, 09:08:30 AM
kicked Mr Veg Teetotaller in the goolies.

I would have done the same.  evil:
Title: Re: People who offer "helpful" advice
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 14, 2008, 09:10:35 AM
Ah but they mean well.  ::)
Title: Re: People who offer "helpful" advice
Post by: Nick on April 14, 2008, 09:11:07 AM
Bizarrely Mrs Nick has invited them back in the summer "for a bit longer"

Revenge shall be mine.

Sausages anyone? eveilgrin:

MR VT also reckons that Campbell's tinned peas are the work of the devil. rubschin:
Title: Re: People who offer "helpful" advice
Post by: Nick on April 14, 2008, 09:13:35 AM
Ah but they mean well.  ::)

Yes. Which is why they said "You are a nice little boy, do you want to come home with us?" as they wre finally leaving.

Just the thing to say to a kid who had 6 sets of parent before the age of 4 and is still insecure about being sold on.I feel like killing them actually.With a sausage. Or VOdka eveilgrin:
Title: Re: People who offer "helpful" advice
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 14, 2008, 09:43:34 AM
Now that is insensitive  eeek:

The road to Hell etc., etc.
Title: Re: People who offer "helpful" advice
Post by: Snoopy on April 14, 2008, 10:32:02 AM
Serve them Quorn.

Serves them right!
Title: Re: People who offer "helpful" advice
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 14, 2008, 10:33:39 AM
Serve them pork, tell them it's Quorn.
Title: Re: People who offer "helpful" advice
Post by: Nick on April 14, 2008, 10:44:40 AM
Vodka for water more like!
Title: Re: People who offer "helpful" advice
Post by: Barman on April 14, 2008, 12:50:13 PM
I'm afraid I would have told them to fuck off... politely of course...  whistle: