The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Bar Wench on April 28, 2008, 09:19:09 AM
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Again! When will I learn. surrender:
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Again! When will I learn. surrender:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmos.bikeradar.com%2Fimages%2Flegacy%2Fbikeradar%2Fcategories%2Fcycling%2Faccessory%2Fimages%2Freimannp20sunscreenwhitebkgrd-400-90.jpg&hash=42858bb59509ecb6831a31ca6f228c8cfe069855)
whistle:
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It is April, in England. I wasn't expecting to need it!
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It is April, in England. I wasn't expecting to need it!
You see that big bright thing in the sky...? whistle:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jonco48.com%2Fblog%2Fsunburn.jpg&hash=60885fd1ba3dc4e40356fd190da9d231bcce03c4)
That's you that is... point:
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What big bright thing in the sky. I saw an orange thing disappear into Snoopy's house last night.I think he has stolen it. evil:
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Again! When will I learn. surrender:
When you reach middle age and your skin looks like an old and much used handbag. ::)
Haven't you seen those two legged lizards that lay around in the sun all day in places like Bournemouth, California and Spain? ~ They used to be young, beautiful girls.
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But I like being brown. The pale and interesting look is not for me. Having said that neither is the magenta crispyness I am currently wearing.
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But I like being brown. The pale and interesting look is not for me. Having said that neither is the magenta crispyness I am currently wearing.
Reimann P20!
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But I like being brown. The pale and interesting look is not for me. Having said that neither is the magenta crispyness I am currently wearing.
Fine ~ if you want to look like a snake skin handbag in twenty years time that's up to you.
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Who is going to look at me then anyway? May as well be the colour I want now as an old bag is an old bag regardless of whether she has lily white skin or not!
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No way to talk about Mrs Nick! evil:
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No way to talk about Mrs Nick! evil:
Is she raddled!?!? eeek:
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Gong a bit senile. SHe is currently trying to value the contents of the house for insurance purposes which involves wandering about with scraps of paper.
We have just worked out that the replacement value of our books is around £25000 eeek:
She is currently trying to count them noooo:
Nuts!
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eeek: That won't be easy! Can't you guesstimate? Or does proper grown-up insurance not work that way?
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Many books are irreplacable but only have a value to you and the insurers are not going to believe you anyway.
Go for a flat £500K cover on contents (new for old if you can) and nominate only particularly valuable items. Start on about books and they will want to know about age, condition, first editions etc and you'll be paying a fortune for something you do not need.
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I have just been asked how much it will cost to replace all my clothes.I estimated about £2.50.
I got a "look" scared2:
SHe is taking all this a bit pedantically evil:
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Many books are irreplacable but only have a value to you and the insurers are not going to believe you anyway.
Go for a flat £500K cover on contents (new for old if you can) and nominate only particularly valuable items. Start on about books and they will want to know about age, condition, first editions etc and you'll be paying a fortune for something you do not need.
You tell her this. I shall watch from a safe distance.Through a telescope scared2:
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Unless you are planning to buy your insurance via a specialist broker, who will place it with individual underwriters at Lloyds, she is wasting her time.
All major companies offer a flat rate deal depending on previous claims history, post code and amount of cover required.
It doesn't need a full audit to walk round the house and guestimate the replacement costs of your furniture and personal possessions. You are right ~ the woman is mad! She is just wasting time and probably spending twice as much as she needs to.
Phone Liverpool Victoria and get a quote in two minutes. Accept it and pay over the 'phone. Then tell her to do something useful as you have already sorted the insurance eveilgrin:
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I’d have thought chez Nick was uninsurable anyway… whistle:
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I’d have thought chez Nick was uninsurable anyway… whistle:
Nothing is uninsurable ~ if you are prepared to pay enough tunble:
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Unless you are planning to buy your insurance via a specialist broker, who will place it with individual underwriters at Lloyds, she is wasting her time.
All major companies offer a flat rate deal depending on previous claims history, post code and amount of cover required.
It doesn't need a full audit to walk round the house and guestimate the replacement costs of your furniture and personal possessions. You are right ~ the woman is mad! She is just wasting time and probably spending twice as much as she needs to.
Phone Liverpool Victoria and get a quote in two minutes. Accept it and pay over the 'phone. Then tell her to do something useful as you have already sorted the insurance eveilgrin:
it's a specialist insurance company for, um, historic and listed buildings redface:
And by accident we seem to be drifting back on topic rubschin:
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Unless you are planning to buy your insurance via a specialist broker, who will place it with individual underwriters at Lloyds, she is wasting her time.
All major companies offer a flat rate deal depending on previous claims history, post code and amount of cover required.
It doesn't need a full audit to walk round the house and guestimate the replacement costs of your furniture and personal possessions. You are right ~ the woman is mad! She is just wasting time and probably spending twice as much as she needs to.
Phone Liverpool Victoria and get a quote in two minutes. Accept it and pay over the 'phone. Then tell her to do something useful as you have already sorted the insurance eveilgrin:
It's a specialist insurance company for, um, historic and listed buildings with great big 'oles int' roof... redface:
whistle:
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Wiht virtually no roof at present! evil:
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Unless you are planning to buy your insurance via a specialist broker, who will place it with individual underwriters at Lloyds, she is wasting her time.
All major companies offer a flat rate deal depending on previous claims history, post code and amount of cover required.
It doesn't need a full audit to walk round the house and guestimate the replacement costs of your furniture and personal possessions. You are right ~ the woman is mad! She is just wasting time and probably spending twice as much as she needs to.
Phone Liverpool Victoria and get a quote in two minutes. Accept it and pay over the 'phone. Then tell her to do something useful as you have already sorted the insurance eveilgrin:
it's a specialist insurance company for, um, historic and listed buildings redface:
And by accident we seem to be drifting back on topic rubschin:
Take your point but does that have to include contents? Your underwear (see previous discussions) may be old but I doubt it is listed.
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I think Mrs Nick's Catholic upbringing has given her an exaggerated respect for "authority" (mine excepted). SHe is also naturally pedantic.
Lethal combination
And some of my underpants are old enough to get listed statuss. I may leave them to the V&A
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I begin to see your problem.
Because someone at the Council said it must be so ~ it must be so. Doesn't she realise that these idiots making the rules are paid peanuts because they are monkeys. Silly question ~ sorry ~ obviously she doesn't. I 'spect she believes all doctors know what they are talking about and that all policemen are honest ::)
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I have just been asked how much it will cost to replace all my clothes.I estimated about £2.50.
Flash git! lol:
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I have just pointed out to SWMBO that we don't need £10000000 of cover for our "domestic servants".
Shis is phoning the male Tracy
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noooo:
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Because someone at the Council said it must be so ~ it must be so. Doesn't she realise that these idiots making the rules are paid peanuts because they are monkeys.
cussing: cussing: cussing:
I am not a monkey ...more of a confused sheep sad32:
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Because someone at the Council said it must be so ~ it must be so. Doesn't she realise that these idiots making the rules are paid peanuts because they are monkeys.
cussing: cussing: cussing:
I am not a monkey ...more of a confused sheep sad32:
Careful, there might be Welsh people reading this... whistle:
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Because someone at the Council said it must be so ~ it must be so. Doesn't she realise that these idiots making the rules are paid peanuts because they are monkeys.
cussing: cussing: cussing:
I am not a monkey ...more of a confused sheep sad32:
Whoops! Present company excepted and all that. redface:
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Because someone at the Council said it must be so ~ it must be so. Doesn't she realise that these idiots making the rules are paid peanuts because they are monkeys.
cussing: cussing: cussing:
I am not a monkey ...more of a confused sheep sad32:
Whoops! Present company excepted and all that. redface:
Of course... whistle:
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Gong a bit senile. SHe is currently trying to value the contents of the house for insurance purposes which involves wandering about with scraps of paper.
We have just worked out that the replacement value of our books is around £25000 eeek:
She is currently trying to count them noooo:
Nuts!
Havent you explained to her that there is only one insurance company that is capable of covering Chez Nick as all the others have a Captain Calamity exclusion clause.... whistle:
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Gong a bit senile. SHe is currently trying to value the contents of the house for insurance purposes which involves wandering about with scraps of paper.
We have just worked out that the replacement value of our books is around £25000 eeek:
She is currently trying to count them noooo:
Nuts!
Havent you explained to her that there is only one insurance company that is capable of covering Chez Nick as all the others have a Captain Calamity exclusion clause.... whistle:
Explanation* is not a word that enters into Mrs Nick's thinking ~ ever!
*Along with reason, sensible and logical.
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Gong a bit senile. SHe is currently trying to value the contents of the house for insurance purposes which involves wandering about with scraps of paper.
We have just worked out that the replacement value of our books is around £25000 eeek:
She is currently trying to count them noooo:
Nuts!
Havent you explained to her that there is only one insurance company that is capable of covering Chez Nick as all the others have a Captain Calamity exclusion clause.... whistle:
Explanation* is not a word that enters into Mrs Nick's thinking ~ ever!
*Along with reason, sensible and logical.
in other words she is perfectly suited for living in Nick's world lol:
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I'm with Mrs. Nick on this one. Valuing the contents is a worthwhile exercise and can save a lot of grief in the event of a major claim.
In any case, high value items have to listed on most policies.
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I already said that about valuable items being individually listed.
The problem is that Mrs Nick has got a form from the specialist company that they are using (because it is an old, historic and listed building) and that makes the assumption that their library will contain books of equal historic value, that their furniture likewise etc. Just because it is a listed building it does not follow that the numpties who have designed the form have made allowance that the owners are "ordinary" people and not living in an ancestral hall along with the collections of furniture and books acquired by their ancestors down through the centuries.
Nick can see this but Mrs Nick is taking the questions on the forms at face value.
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Ah, I see what you're going on about now. I must have missed the bit about Mrs. Nick having a specialist form. I thought she had scraps of paper. confused:
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I am not a monkey ...more of a confused sheep sad32:
Whoops! Present company excepted and all that. redface:
Of course angel1
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Ah, I see what you're going on about now. I must have missed the bit about Mrs. Nick having a specialist form. I thought she had scraps of paper. confused:
Tsk, tsk... you didn't read it all did you Unc.? noooo:
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Ah, I see what you're going on about now. I must have missed the bit about Mrs. Nick having a specialist form. I thought she had scraps of paper. confused:
Tsk, tsk... you didn't read it all did you Unc.? noooo:
TBF one had to piece it togther over the various posts and have a working knowledge of Nick World.
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Ah, I see what you're going on about now. I must have missed the bit about Mrs. Nick having a specialist form. I thought she had scraps of paper. confused:
Tsk, tsk... you didn't read it all did you Unc.? noooo:
TBF one had to piece it togther over the various posts and have a working knowledge of Nick World.
As Unc. should by now... whistle:
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Nick's World? I rather not delve to deeply thanks. ;)
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Nick's World? I rather not delve to deeply thanks. ;)
Yes... prolly quite wise... if you want to sleep at night... scared2:
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Mrs Nick pulled a nerve jangling change of direction on me this afternoon which actually caused chest pains (for me)!! eeek:
I am still recovering.
JUST MAKE A DECISION AND STOP CHANGING YOUR MIND ALL THE TIME.WIMMIN! noooo:
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rubschin: I think we should go for a pint and you can tell me all about it. I'll ring you on the morrow.
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Mrs Nick pulled a nerve jangling change of direction on me this afternoon which actually caused chest pains (for me)!! eeek:
I am still recovering.
JUST MAKE A DECISION AND STOP CHANGING YOUR MIND ALL THE TIME.WIMMIN! noooo:
I can't possibly comment until I know the details.
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At least I am going to buy him a pint for the details evil:
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The Red Lion doesn't do Bishop's Finger sad24:
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At least I am going to buy him a pint for the details evil:
I am cheap. And broke after purchasing various tickets.
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The Red Lion doesn't do Bishop's Finger sad24:
What do they do then.... Fullers London Pride.
Oh I don't care ~ it's been so long that I'll even drink Green King. sick2:
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I am cheap. And broke after purchasing various tickets.
Wenchy, Wenchy, Wenchy. Given some of the members here I figured you'd know better than to say something like that. It'll end up being open season for Uncle Baldgaria and Orinicko point:
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Apparently I am low maintenance. cussing:
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I'm not daft enough to go anywhere near that one Wenchy. eeek:
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Apparently I am low maintenance. cussing:
Take that as a compliment Wenchy. Mrs S#1 was high maintenance ~ eye wateringly so.whistle:
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Apparently I am low maintenance. cussing:
Bless... eyes:
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Maybe she'd like a bonio.
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I could slip her one when no-one was looking. whistle:
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Give her one for me as well
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Not sure I have two in me but I'll try.
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I could slip her one when no-one was looking. whistle:
drumroll:
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Not sure I have two in me but I'll try.
rubschin:
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noooo:
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noooo:
Mornin' Wenchy...
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Mornin'
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surrender:
In my defence I should just like to say "A big boy called Nick made me do it"
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surrender:
In my defence I should just like to say "A big boy called Nick made me do it"
Of course... char048
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surrender:
In my defence I should just like to say "A big boy called Nick made me do it"
Of course... char048
Did too!
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How's the weather up North? It's bloody horrible down here and doesn't look like improving for my "big day" tomorrow.
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What BIG DAY? You having a birthday (not on the Pub calendar) or getting married (not on the Pub calendar) or something else that is NOT ON THE PUB CALENDAR?
You can't just wander in here, say something as potentially meaningful as that, and wander off again without explanation ~ come on 'fess up. What big day tomorrow?
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What BIG DAY? You having a birthday (not on the Pub calendar) or getting married (not on the Pub calendar) or something else that is NOT ON THE PUB CALENDAR?
You can't just wander in here, say something as potentially meaningful as that, and wander off again without explanation ~ come on 'fess up. What big day tomorrow?
He was going to buy a round... point:
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Referring back to the OP for a moment - heaven forbid, I know...
Perhaps she's not getting enough ... ?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7370759.stm
Tomatoes, I mean ;)
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Well that would explain why she is that bright red colour I 'spose. Too much pasta!
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Too much Gnocchi! eyes:
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Birthday. 40.
My life is over.
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Birthday. 40.
My life is over.
No it's not ....................... look at me ........................... OK your life is over tunble:
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Hugs from the Hound help hugely.
Bitchiness from the Barman betray blatant begrudging of my bouffant bonce. Baldy b'stid.
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We'll have a virtual party.
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Virtual Young's!!!
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!
NO SURRENDER!!!
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Attaboy! Keep On Rockin' ~ 'til they drag you off the stage.
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It is pleasing to have been born on the same day that Hitler topped himself. Some of my work colleagues have stated that perhaps I am a rebirth of him, albeit 23 years after the event.
Battery on theBlackberry going, so goodnight all!
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You're not one of those Boys from Brasil are you? eeek:
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Birthday. 40.
My life is over.
It'll be all OK lad, you are on the downhill slope now. ;)
I can no longer remember what it was I felt I was losing when passing 40. cry:
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You're not one of those Boys from Brasil are you? eeek:
scared2:
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Boy from Surrey - God's County!
And not a turnip in sight. We are truly blessed.
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Boy from Surrey
Where the nuts come from?
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Back on topic - are you peeling yet Wenchy? whistle:
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Is she working in a chipshop now?
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Is she working in a chipshop now?
;D
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Back on topic - are you peeling yet Wenchy? whistle:
Yep. redface:
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Back on topic - are you peeling yet Wenchy? whistle:
Yep. redface:
dear, dear... noooo:
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I am sitting here trying to stick it back on with Nivea body lotion. noooo:
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I am sitting here trying to stick it back on with Nivea body lotion. noooo:
;D
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Get the brillo out. Ask Mr Wench to assist
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There is a joke in there but I am not going to be the one. whistle:
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noooo:
And after I am so supportive to all of you!
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noooo:
And after I am so supportive to all of you!
Ahem! eeek:
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Well not you I suppose. redface:
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Well not you I suppose. redface:
cloud9:
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No. she isn't supportive of you either
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Well not you I suppose. redface:
cloud9:
LL told me not to be! point:
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No. she isn't supportive of you either
I don't need a support... whistle:
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No. she isn't supportive of you either
I don't need a support... whistle:
No just a corset. It is more sucking in than holding up that is necessary I hear.
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No. she isn't supportive of you either
I don't need a support... whistle:
You will if you say half the things you are planning in that FotB speech. whistle:
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No. she isn't supportive of you either
I don't need a support... whistle:
No just a corset. It is more sucking in than holding up that is necessary I hear.
All muscle... ;)
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It is more sucking in than holding up that is necessary I hear.
As the Bishop said to the actress!
drumroll:
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No. she isn't supportive of you either
I don't need a support... whistle:
No just a corset. It is more sucking in than holding up that is necessary I hear.
All muscle... ;)
Of course it is. ::)
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No. she isn't supportive of you either
I don't need a support... whistle:
No just a corset. It is more sucking in than holding up that is necessary I hear.
All muscle... ;)
Of course it is. ::)
whistle:
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No. she isn't supportive of you either
I don't need a support... whistle:
No just a corset. It is more sucking in than holding up that is necessary I hear.
All muscle... ;)
Are we talking about what holds his ears apart?
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No. she isn't supportive of you either
I don't need a support... whistle:
No just a corset. It is more sucking in than holding up that is necessary I hear.
All muscle... ;)
Are we talking about what hold his ears apart?
::)
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Sorry BM ~ couldn't resist. redface:
I spent all of ......oh ............... three seconds wrestling with my better self over that one.