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Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Mrs TG on May 04, 2008, 11:10:38 AM

Title: weddings...
Post by: Mrs TG on May 04, 2008, 11:10:38 AM
cos of all the moaning skiving men on here thought it be nice for us ladies to start a nice wedding thread?
as my daughter has just booked her wedding for may 2010 i got a lot of time to work up bore annoy or ever enthrall you with all the details, plans. cost, ideas, help!
barman has yr daughters wedding happened yet? get yr wife an wenchy in hear need some moral support...
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 04, 2008, 11:14:45 AM
cos of all the moaning skiving men on here thought it be nice for us ladies to start a nice wedding thread?
as my daughter has just booked her wedding for may 2010 i got a lot of time to work up (bore) annoy or ever enthrall you with all the details, plans. cost, ideas, help!
barman has yr daughters wedding happened yet? get yr wife an wenchy in hear need some moral support...
May 24th...  noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Mrs TG on May 04, 2008, 11:20:11 AM
oooo barman thats so exciting hope you finished that speech an got that suit out of storage, got that bank account emptied.....want all the news, god i love a wedding  lol:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 04, 2008, 11:55:26 AM
oooo barman thats so exciting hope you finished that speech an got that suit out of storage, got that bank account emptied.....want all the news, god i love a wedding  lol:
Speech not started... rented suit, bank account empty...  noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 04, 2008, 12:23:46 PM
Quote
my daughter has just booked her wedding for may 2010

Has she chosen a victim  fiance yet?
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Mrs TG on May 04, 2008, 01:01:28 PM
mmmmm cheek...of course her man choose her very good taste he has, an he is welsh, a scouse-welsh unite!  eyes: dont worry on 2 yr countdown, i will keep you informed of every detail as we go down these next 24 months....well 23 nearly....
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 04, 2008, 01:01:58 PM
Gives him plenty of time to change his mind!
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 04, 2008, 01:07:10 PM
He's Welsh! .............. I amazed he has a mind to change. noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: TG on May 04, 2008, 01:12:37 PM
oooo barman thats so exciting hope you finished that speech an got that suit out of storage, got that bank account emptied.....want all the news, god i love a wedding  lol:
Speech not started... rented suit, bank account empty...  noooo:

I thought we had written your speech? Do you need more help?
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Mrs TG on May 04, 2008, 01:14:18 PM
sure u must have realised that with all my better halves pissed posts in relevance to the fun hols we have had deep in the Rhonda valleys...but he is lovely lad an hard working, his downfall is he very patriotic..but he keeps me daughter out me hair....
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 04, 2008, 01:33:17 PM
Well I have to be honest, I/we hadn't actually put two and two together ..... TG having been so secretive about his family and all. Until you mentioned her we had no idea you had a daughter ................ You don't really look old enough  eyes:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: TG on May 04, 2008, 01:35:58 PM
Well I have to be honest, I/we hadn't actually put two and two together ..... TG having been so secretive about his family and all. Until you mentioned her we had no idea you had a daughter ................ You don't really look old enough  eyes:

one - nill by the way.   point:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Mrs TG on May 04, 2008, 01:39:45 PM
bugger tg off out our wedding thread....boozy footy in the other one...
yep i am rather yummy mummy but quite old now at 37 47, daughter is 23 an she thinks i am old mother!  whistle:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 05, 2008, 04:56:22 AM
oooo barman thats so exciting hope you finished that speech an got that suit out of storage, got that bank account emptied.....want all the news, god i love a wedding  lol:
Speech not started... rented suit, bank account empty...  noooo:

I thought we had written your speech? Do you need more help?
LL didn't like it...  noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Just One More on May 05, 2008, 07:37:56 AM
oooo barman thats so exciting hope you finished that speech an got that suit out of storage, got that bank account emptied.....want all the news, god i love a wedding  lol:
Speech not started... rented suit, bank account empty...  noooo:

I thought we had written your speech? Do you need more help?
LL didn't like it...  noooo:

Has she finished your new one?
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 05, 2008, 07:41:24 AM
oooo barman thats so exciting hope you finished that speech an got that suit out of storage, got that bank account emptied.....want all the news, god i love a wedding  lol:
Speech not started... rented suit, bank account empty...  noooo:

I thought we had written your speech? Do you need more help?
LL didn't like it...  noooo:

Has she finished your new one?
No... I have to do it... apparently...  sad24:

Working on it now.  whistle:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Just One More on May 05, 2008, 08:09:31 AM
Reminds me of Paula Yates on HIGNFY when she said it took six weeks to write her book, and Ian Hislop asked if she'd had "writers block"  lol: (Good luck with the speech, lots of time... well 19 days!)
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 05, 2008, 08:12:57 AM
Reminds me of Paula Yates on HIGNFY when she said it took six weeks to write her book, and Ian Hislop asked if she'd had "writers block"  lol: (Good luck with the speech, lots of time... well 19 days!)
scared2:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 05, 2008, 08:15:26 AM
I am sure Barman's speech will be hilarious












































 eveilgrin:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 05, 2008, 08:22:32 AM
Hilarious? doh:

I thought FOTB had to be gushing?

[tears up speech]
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Landlady on May 05, 2008, 02:44:42 PM
cos of all the moaning skiving men on here thought it be nice for us ladies to start a nice wedding thread?
as my daughter has just booked her wedding for may 2010 i got a lot of time to work up bore annoy or ever enthrall you with all the details, plans. cost, ideas, help!
barman has yr daughters wedding happened yet? get yr wife an wenchy in hear need some moral support...

You will have all the moral support you need from myself and Wenchy I am sure  razz:
I am getting really excited now - well one of us to be and it certainly isn't BM  Angry9:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Landlady on May 05, 2008, 02:45:55 PM
oooo barman thats so exciting hope you finished that speech an got that suit out of storage, got that bank account emptied.....want all the news, god i love a wedding  lol:
Speech not started... rented suit, bank account empty...  noooo:

I thought we had written your speech? Do you need more help?
LL didn't like it...  noooo:

Now let's be clear on this - LL DIDN'T see it because it DIDN'T exist (in any form) until today  angry041:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 05, 2008, 02:56:22 PM
Publish it here then so we can contribute
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Landlady on May 05, 2008, 02:58:11 PM
Publish it here then so we can contribute

Call me mad  whistle: - but I actually quite like that idea  ;D
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 05, 2008, 02:58:24 PM
Publish it here then so we can contribute
noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Landlady on May 05, 2008, 03:00:16 PM
Publish it here then so we can contribute
noooo:

Ah, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on !!!!
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 05, 2008, 03:01:29 PM
What she said
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 05, 2008, 03:24:44 PM
No...  noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Bar Wench on May 06, 2008, 08:37:38 AM
DO IT!
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 06, 2008, 10:20:25 AM
Yes come on man, you know you must.
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Just One More on May 06, 2008, 11:01:51 AM
Absolutely. We would of all had it done by now
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 11:02:23 AM
"have"  noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Just One More on May 06, 2008, 11:09:44 AM
"have"  noooo:

You may as well copy it ready for next time Nick. I have always had trouble with "have" and "of". Other than that I'm damn near perfect in every way  ;)
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 06, 2008, 11:11:17 AM
My good lady spent 6 months beating that out of the brain of a local lad in order to get him a Grade C GCSE English.
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 11:16:26 AM
"have"  noooo:

You may as well copy it ready for next time Nick. I have always had trouble with "have" and "of". Other than that I'm damn near perfect in every way  ;)

Put "it" in the middle and you are almost there eveilgrin:

It may be accent related, but still gets us pedants up in arms evil:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 06, 2008, 11:44:49 AM
JOM is not Welsh but the offender here was  evil:

The problem seems to be with the difference between spoken and received English. Mind the student compounded the felony by writing "Wooden Of" when Mrs S wanted him to write "Would not have". She has the patience etc.....
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2008, 12:06:25 PM
No!  Banghead
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 06, 2008, 12:10:45 PM
Anyway ..... To get back this speech writing stuff:

Ladies, Gentlemen, Family and Friends. Thank you all for being here to share this day with us.................
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 12:10:57 PM
Are we off topic yet?
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 12:11:39 PM
Anyway ..... To get back this speech writing stuff:

Ladies, Gentlemen, Family and Friends. Thank you all for being here to share this day with us.................

which is very expensive so I am glad that LL is paying
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 06, 2008, 12:12:41 PM
Anyway ..... To get back this speech writing stuff:

Ladies, Gentlemen, Family and Friends. Thank you all for being here to share this day with us.................

which is very expensive so I am glad that LL is paying

Allbeit with the loose change she loots from my trouser pockets each night.
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2008, 12:14:06 PM
Hmmmm.... so far so good...  rubschin:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 12:17:02 PM
I trust that you like my new wig
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2008, 12:21:43 PM
I trust that you like my new wig
doh:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 12:23:11 PM
LL BOUGHT IT FOR ME AND SPARED EVERY EXPENSE. iT'S RED.

SHUT UP

now I can stop shouting (for a while)

Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2008, 12:28:50 PM
LL BOUGHT IT FOR ME AND SPARED EVERY EXPENSE. iT'S RED.

SHUT UP

now I can stop shouting (for a while)


noooo: It was all going so well... [fetches speech from bin]
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 06, 2008, 12:32:35 PM
Put "it" in the middle and you are almost there eveilgrin:
have it of??  rubschin:

Did you mean 'off'.

Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 06, 2008, 12:52:07 PM
You could slip in some advice for the groom........ Based on your knowledge of the Bride and her Mother

"Whenever you're wrong, admit it. Whenever you're right, shut up."
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 01:09:27 PM
They are anxious to rush off and get their things together.

That always goes down well eveilgrin:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 06, 2008, 01:17:07 PM
I found the old "When he asked for her hand I thought 'Well I might as well say yes ~ he's already had the rest'" went down like a lead balloon with his family and her mother.  noooo:
Funny reaction that 'cos I thought it hilarious as did the bridesmaids.
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 01:19:49 PM
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo































Yes
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2008, 01:27:38 PM
 noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 06, 2008, 01:31:28 PM
Allthough the "I see this wedding as not so much a case of losing my daughter ~ more as me regaining a bathroom and telephone" was well received.
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 01:38:44 PM
Baldness is hereditary. We have bought her a wig. Actually we have bought her two wigs! eveilgrin:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Bar Wench on May 06, 2008, 01:39:26 PM
The other is called a merkin not a wig.
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 01:41:09 PM
"I have also bought a merkin for her. It's red with a target on it. My barmaid is an expert on these things and has got one for us off ebay. Second, um, hand."
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Mrs TG on May 06, 2008, 04:50:19 PM
you can get good speeches downloaded off the net..saves you all that work barman! or use the one they started on here for you. point:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2008, 04:57:46 PM
you can get good speeches downloaded off the net..saves you all that work barman! or use the one they started on here for you. point:
Don't think I'm not desperate enough to consider either option...  noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 06, 2008, 05:25:43 PM
Three or four glasses of Champagne and wing it mate. Just make sure you remember to welcome and thank every one for coming. Tell them how proud you are of your daughter, what a wonderful mother she has and how much you like her new husband. If possible remember his name and use it a couple of times. "Errrr.... Thingy there" is not considered acceptable. If there is anyone in a big hat, compliment it ..... do not ask if it was stolen from a seaside donkey. Tell a funny but not humiliating story about your daughter when she was little. Thank everyone again and buy a round of drinks if it is a paid bar. Best speeches last no more than ten minutes.
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Pastis on May 06, 2008, 07:23:10 PM
Three or four glasses of Champagne and wing it mate. Just make sure you remember to welcome and thank every one for coming. Tell them how proud you are of your daughter, what a wonderful mother she has and how much you like her new husband. If possible remember his name and use it a couple of times. "Errrr.... Thingy there" is not considered acceptable. If there is anyone in a big hat, compliment it ..... do not ask if it was stolen from a seaside donkey. Tell a funny but not humiliating story about your daughter when she was little. Thank everyone again and buy a round of drinks if it is a paid bar. Best speeches last no more than ten minutes.

Excellent advice. Be careful of the best man's speech though. The last one I gave I referred to the character of the groom in glowing terms...

Nerves of steel...

Heart of gold...














Knob of butter....  ;)

The bride, 4 months pregnant, stood up and said.... Oh Yeah??
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 07, 2008, 05:04:26 AM
Three or four glasses of Champagne and wing it mate. Just make sure you remember to welcome and thank every one for coming. Tell them how proud you are of your daughter, what a wonderful mother she has and how much you like her new husband. If possible remember his name and use it a couple of times. "Errrr.... Thingy there" is not considered acceptable. If there is anyone in a big hat, compliment it ..... do not ask if it was stolen from a seaside donkey. Tell a funny but not humiliating story about your daughter when she was little. Thank everyone again and buy a round of drinks if it is a paid bar. Best speeches last no more than ten minutes.
;D
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Bar Wench on May 07, 2008, 07:49:44 AM
Seeing as the groom is also called BarMan I don't think it will be a problem! Unless he really has had too much to drink.  rubschin:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 07, 2008, 07:51:00 AM
Seeing as the groom is also called BarMan I don't think it will be a problem! Unless he really has had too much to drink.  rubschin:
The groom isn't called Barman tho...  noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 07, 2008, 08:03:28 AM
What is she on about?
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Barman on May 07, 2008, 08:05:47 AM
What is she on about?
shrugs:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 07, 2008, 08:27:13 AM
Wine gums again.  noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 07, 2008, 08:36:00 AM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7385965.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7385965.stm)

 noooo:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Bar Wench on May 07, 2008, 09:06:20 AM
 Banghead
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Nick on May 07, 2008, 09:15:12 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDjVv2tXb2c (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDjVv2tXb2c)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNCArhL0QSw&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNCArhL0QSw&feature=related)

 point:
Title: Re: weddings...
Post by: Snoopy on May 10, 2008, 07:08:11 PM
BM ~ after the wedding?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagecache2.allposters.com%2Fimages%2Fpic%2FPTGPOD%2F286331%7EMan-Wearing-Barrel-Posters.jpg&hash=45a6859fb160df9d0367002e9d5c731a60bc3e3a)