The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 10:38:46 AM

Title: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 10:38:46 AM
Given how much of a gadget nut we know you are Uncle Baldgaria  I thought this would appeal to you. I know that someone is going to say that as its a car it should go into the motor section but at only 19 inches total height would any of you want to take this on the roads? Before anyone asks it is street legal, would loved to have seen the faces on the crew at the garage when he went for the MOT though.

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http://www.flatmobile.co.uk/index.htm (http://www.flatmobile.co.uk/index.htm)
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2008, 10:42:41 AM
Half car/half BBQ noooo:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 10:43:47 AM
Amazing what you can do with a couple of Hillman Imps  happ096
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 10:56:13 AM
 cloud9:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 10:57:45 AM
Nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana BALDMAN!!!!!  whistle:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 11:03:27 AM
 ::)
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 11:10:42 AM
Well if I hadn't done it the Wench would have done  redface:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 11:16:30 AM
Well if I hadn't done it the Wench would have done  redface:
No she wouldn't...  noooo:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 11:27:00 AM
So you are saying that Wenchy would never take up an opportunity to take the mickey out of you?  point:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 11:29:17 AM
So you are saying that Wenchy would never take up an opportunity to take the mickey out of you?  point:
yes...  whistle:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 11:32:52 AM
Aww bless, I havent seen that level of delusion on years  point:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 11:45:28 AM
Where is The Wenchmeister anyway?  rubschin:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Snoopy on May 12, 2008, 11:48:36 AM
 shrugs:

She did pop in earlier but didn't say anything ~ then vanished again. Prolly only came in to use the bogs.
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 11:59:08 AM
shrugs:

She did pop in earlier but didn't say anything ~ then vanished again. Prolly only came in to use the bogs.
Not to clean them by any chance?  noooo:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Snoopy on May 12, 2008, 12:01:33 PM
 happy001
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 12:10:57 PM
shrugs:

She did pop in earlier but didn't say anything ~ then vanished again. Prolly only came in to use the bogs.
Not to clean them by any chance?  noooo:

Not after the last time you let Berek use them. She was white as a sheet after that and muttering something about Porton Down.  noooo:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 12:51:21 PM
happy001
Thought not...  noooo:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2008, 12:54:00 PM
SHe is here you know......... scared2:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 12:56:40 PM
SHe is here you know......... scared2:
Where?  shrugs:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2008, 12:57:07 PM
Sitting in the corner.
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 12:58:06 PM
Sitting in the corner.
Not 'there, right on the stair' then?  rubschin:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 12:59:02 PM
Is Wenchy wearing clogs then  whistle:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 01:02:02 PM
I can't see... she's gone...  shrugs:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 12, 2008, 01:11:21 PM
Can I pop over and clean them - ANYTHING to relieve the boredom at work?
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Snoopy on May 12, 2008, 01:13:16 PM
Can I pop over and clean them - ANYTHING to relieve the boredom at work?

Can't you take your bag of virtual spanners and clean a few lovelies keyboards or something?  eyes:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Snoopy on May 12, 2008, 01:21:15 PM
Here you are TMR ~ I knew there would be a bonafide reason for you to wander about the office, being a nuisance and copping an eyeful of the scantilly clad lovelies this afternoon.

Quote
Preventive Maintenance
Preventive maintenance is a schedule of planned maintenance actions aimed at the prevention of breakdowns and failures. The primary goal of preventive maintenance is to prevent the failure of equipment before it actually occurs. It is designed to preserve and enhance equipment reliability by replacing worn components before they actually fail. Preventive maintenance activities include equipment checks, partial or complete overhauls at specified periods, oil changes, lubrication and so on. In addition, workers can record equipment deterioration so they know to replace or repair worn parts before they cause system failure. Recent technological advances in tools for inspection and diagnosis have enabled even more accurate and effective equipment maintenance. The ideal preventive maintenance program would prevent all equipment failure before it occurs.

Full particulars ~ enough to baffle the boss with anyway ~ are here: http://www.weibull.com/SystemRelWeb/preventive_maintenance.htm
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 12, 2008, 01:42:26 PM
Can I pop over and clean them - ANYTHING to relieve the boredom at work?

Can't you take your bag of virtual spanners and clean a few lovelies keyboards or something?  eyes:

Your paucity offends me. Should one of the lovelies have a dirty keyboard, I simply give them a new one. I then give the "dirty" one a quick upside down shake and give them to a local primary school, where all the children can have hours of fun retrieving the bits of sandwich, crisps, staples, paper clips, snot and finger nail clippings embedded under the buttons.

I just think of it as my little bit to help MRSA get a decent foothold in society.  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Snoopy on May 12, 2008, 01:48:31 PM
<snigger>
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 12, 2008, 01:55:12 PM

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Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Snoopy on May 12, 2008, 01:58:43 PM
That is the sort of thing I had in mind Uncle ~ but TMR gets everso cross whenever I mention Dilbert  whistle:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 12, 2008, 02:09:14 PM
<snigger>

You think I'm joking...I even sprinkle a bit of blue asbestos on them them...

Seriously though...I'm not sure I can handle this boredom much longer. It it utterly dire. And it's not just me. Up until about Christmas, this office would receive something like:-

20,000 phone calls per week
18,000 items of post per week
1200 mortgage applications per week.

Last week:-

1,750 phone calls (1,500 were existing customers)
2,800 items of post (which were mainly sent straight to the new office 110 miles away)
9 mortgage applications.

A team of of 53 people had 13 phone calls to field last Thursday. I still have 266 users. If they aren't doing anything, there is nothing for me to fix.

I have decided - and I am unanimous in this - that I shall leave at 3.30 every day from now on.
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Just One More on May 12, 2008, 02:18:28 PM
Nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana BALDMAN!!!!!  whistle:

A lady customer asked this guy, 'May I know your name?' 


'Batman.'

'May I know your name?' 

'My name is Bat-man.'

'Trying to be funny?  What is your surname ?'

'Supar-man.'

'I want to speak with your manager!!!'


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Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 12, 2008, 02:27:23 PM
On the subject of Dilbert (OK...some people say I am a bit like him) I work with "Topper". I find it hard not to stab him in the eye with a pitchfork.

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Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2008, 02:45:41 PM
Quote
Your paucity offends me. Should one of the lovelies have a dirty keyboard, I simply give them one

 eeek:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 12, 2008, 03:14:22 PM
I knew someone would say that and I also thought it would be Nick. You don't disappoint!
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 03:17:14 PM
I knew someone would say that and I also thought it would be Nick. You don't disappoint!

I dont know about that, I'm still waiting for the next tale of him setting fire to/blowing up some random household item.  whistle:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 12, 2008, 03:41:32 PM
Has he been to China or Burma recently?
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2008, 04:19:18 PM
No. But Mrs Nick is having lunch soon with Colonel Gadaffi or however he spell it whistle: whistle:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Snoopy on May 12, 2008, 04:21:09 PM
Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi.

Just in case she gets on first name terms like  whistle:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2008, 04:25:05 PM
We were a bit surprised yesterday. But of course in Libya Sunday is a working day. It's all wrong  noooo:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Snoopy on May 12, 2008, 04:27:31 PM
I expect Mr President will suffice at first ~ is she practising her curtsey?

Don't forget Legs, arms and hair must be covered at all times.
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Snoopy on May 12, 2008, 04:38:14 PM
If she feels she wants to take him a present he could do with a new badger hat.
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Oh ~ and his bodyguards are all female  ~ perhaps he is looking for a new commandant for them. Mrs Nick may be ideally suited.
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 04:40:32 PM
Nooooooooooooooooo, not if Nick is going with her Snoop. Can you imagine the international incident when he dons his new badger skin hat for the first time and it explodes....  eeek:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2008, 05:08:14 PM
I expect Mr President will suffice at first ~ is she practising her curtsey?

Don't forget Legs, arms and hair must be covered at all times.

That's all of her then. Must knit a cosy noooo:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 12, 2008, 06:10:03 PM
Get me off this world, please.
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 06:13:24 PM
Get me off this world, please.
;D
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Snoopy on May 12, 2008, 06:14:17 PM
Get me off this world, please.

If we have to put up with it ~ so must you  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2008, 06:23:16 PM
Get me off this world, please.

Unfortunately there are only 2 worlds, this one and Nick's world. Are you sure you want to change?  whistle:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 06:25:30 PM
Get me off this world, please.

Unfortunately there are only 2 worlds, this one and Nick's world. Are you sure you want to change?  whistle:
noooo:
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 12, 2008, 06:51:28 PM
I will take any world. A poor person has just walked in - I am resisting the temptation to smash his face in.

I show restraint,see.
Title: Re: A new toy for Barman
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 06:52:34 PM
I will take any world. A poor person has just walked in - I am resisting the temptation to smash his face in.

I show restraint,see.
Smash it!  eveilgrin: