The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: TG on May 19, 2008, 01:51:51 PM
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I believe we should steal an aircraft and bomb the houses of Parliament with rotting turnips and old toilet cisterns. To progress this we must first steal an aeroplane. I reccomend one of these :
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVfx1gJ.jpg&hash=9d3a68645374a15f98b0df076272d462d6aa8ec1) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVfx1gJ)
Lets face it, its a bit ancient and if we bring it back quick no-one will even notice.
Also, it would be suitable as we have a RAF veteran to hand who can fly it I'm sure. He may be a bit rusty so here is a picture to study :
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVfyi5i.jpg&hash=949012436eb54e4c4056308da51fb1618f871cc9) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVfyi5i)
And a handy leaflet to stick on the window to jog the old memory in moments of crisis :
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVfy_ZS.jpg&hash=d0c64dad963b7918dc8d43ec929992dd3a9842e4) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVfy_ZS)
So Snoopy shall be pilot, I shall be tail end Charlie. We need volunteers / nominations for the following crew positions:
Navigator> After all we have to find the damn place.
Flight engineer> to kick tyres &c.
Bob aimer> In case we do actually find the damn place.
All round good egg> To stand behind the pilot gripping the seat back and looking grim.
Somebody with a video camera phone>So we can post it on YouTube as well as phone an ambulance when we crash land in a cornfield.
Assorted gunners>To shoot things like.
So who's up for it?
Yes, I'm bored.
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rubschin: It's a plan and there's nothing else to do ................... whistle:
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Whose selling in flight goodies ?
Doing the 3 hour safety checks for the 10 minute flight?
And whose going to sing / whistle the theme tune to Dambusters as you use glide along?
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Volunteers are being sought.
Why does my mind turn to Peter Cook's "We need a futile gesture at a time like this" sketch?
And I cannot find a bloody video of it on the net ANYWHERE
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Whose selling in flight goodies ?
This is war woman! (can I have a a large G&T with a little umberella in it please)
Doing the 3 hour safety checks for the 10 minute flight?
We could get Nick to d... rubschin:
And whose going to sing / whistle the theme tune to Dambusters as you use glide along?
Well everybody of course!
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Whose selling in flight goodies ?
This is war woman! (can I have a a large G&T with a little umberella in it please)
Doing the 3 hour safety checks for the 10 minute flight?
We could get Nick to d... rubschin:
And whose going to sing / whistle the theme tune to Dambusters as you use glide along?
Well everybody of course!
I've been practising appropriate tunes using paper and comb
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Are we going to buzz Barman's Easy Jet flight as well - just to say hello like ;D
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Now you are being silly. You cant fly a Lancaster bombmer whilst playing tunes on paper & comb. Thst serious multi-tasking that is. noooo:
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redface: I was hoping to play over the credits .......... OK I'll just whistle it then whistle:
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I can offer a suitable field and a black Labrador with a sad face.
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It's all coming together cloud9:
Along the Mall and turn right at Admiralty Arch isn't it?
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I can offer a suitable field and a black Labrador with a sad face.
And the turnips?
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I shall stay behind at 'ops' ready to wipe your flight details off the blackboard when you don't return. cry:
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I am ready to do my bit. What could possibly go wrong?
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I shall stay behind at 'ops' ready to wipe your flight details off the blackboard when you don't return. cry:
sad24:
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I shall stay behind at 'ops' ready to wipe your flight details off the blackboard when you don't return. cry:
It could get a bit dicey over the Houses of Parliament ~ all those thermals of hot air rising up.
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Wenchy and Snoopy preflight
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.viewimages.com%2Fxc%2F3272601.jpg%3Fv%3D1%26amp%3Bc%3DViewImages%26amp%3Bk%3D2%26amp%3Bd%3D2C48553CC6AAB74C8213FE3C0DDFFBDCA55A1E4F32AD3138&hash=2ce5f69995245b79157e4bcf4cb454ed3b77fe1c)
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It could get a bit dicey over the Houses of Parliament ~ all those thermals of hot air rising up.
That assumes a lot of activity..... I think it might likely you will be sucked into a vacuum of emptiness noooo:
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Wenchy and Snoopy preflight
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.viewimages.com%2Fxc%2F3272601.jpg%3Fv%3D1%26amp%3Bc%3DViewImages%26amp%3Bk%3D2%26amp%3Bd%3D2C48553CC6AAB74C8213FE3C0DDFFBDCA55A1E4F32AD3138&hash=2ce5f69995245b79157e4bcf4cb454ed3b77fe1c)
We seem to have attracted the Red X of the censor
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Not for me. However:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVgJBXr.jpg&hash=3e8d16a63e95d405d8005cf6730630db4416b287) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVgJBXr)
It's from "The Way to the Stars" ~ a cracking film.
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Yes it has been "cleared" now.
I had in mind more the Susanna York/Christopher Plummer in the bedroom scenes from Battle of Britain myself. eyes:
Unfortunately I cannot find a pic anywhere via Google.
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Snoopy: "Watch out Wenchy, Bandits at 12 O'clock!"
Wenchy: "This is just too, too wonderful darling, after those Wispas at 11" cloud9:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVgUdqJ.jpg&hash=5a78772772d6c11a9c7e392b82e6786ecfbb6eaa) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVgUdqJ)
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Barman: I'm sorry Wenchy this job transfer thing is simply not working out- I do not employ you so that I have to dry glasses myself.
Wenchy: Sorry Mr Barman but I just can't take my eyes of your hair - what anti dandruff shampoo do you use ???
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Too Too Cruel.
happy001 happy001 happy001
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I am ready to do my bit. What could possibly go wrong?
You can be te payload Nick. We drop you with a parachute over the house and let nature take its course. Given past experience that would be far more devastating that the standard bombload. whistle:
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Barman: I'm sorry Wenchy this job transfer thing is simply not working out- I do not employ you so that I have to dry glasses myself.
Wenchy: Sorry Mr Barman but I just can't take my eyes of your hair - what anti dandruff shampoo do you use ???
Spot on!!
;D ;D ;D ;D
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Barman: I'm sorry Wenchy this job transfer thing is simply not working out- I do not employ you so that I have to dry glasses myself.
Wenchy: Sorry Mr Barman but I just can't take my eyes of your hair - what anti dandruff shampoo do you use ???
drumroll: drumroll:
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I feel like nibbling her.Or being nibbled. She likes one or the other!
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eeek:
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Well you do!
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When the temptation is right redface:
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YOu should call that Martin Shaw
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YOu should call that Martin Shaw
Met him once - but I was being an official from the Clownschool (aka Council). Obviously if it wasn't for that, the fact he's probably gay , or got six thousand other women he would have whisked me off my feet happy001
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Married three times now tied up with some yoga teacher, I hear. Lady yoga teacher.She can do the splits and stuff I guess noooo:
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Miss D can do the splits as well though................
She keeps that axe so sharp it'll cut through almost anything these days whistle:
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eeek:
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He's gone for a woman that teaches inner peace, the beauty of silence and deep breathing - sod that for a game of soldiers lol:
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He's gone for a woman that teaches inner peace, the beauty of silence and deep breathing - sod that for a game of soldiers lol:
Personally I'd settle for any one of those surrender:
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Anyway, focus people lest we fork it up...
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaViCWS0.jpg&hash=16e8378b2ecaec67c970b8e559cae98dab2e8865) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aViCWS0)
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http://www.visit4info.com/details.cfm?adid=24268&version=6 (http://www.visit4info.com/details.cfm?adid=24268&version=6)
Sorry TG - back on track now ;D
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;D
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My money's on Miss D or Wenchy being the one on the tarmac who pulls the chocs away ;)
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drumroll:
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Is there no place for me then... sad24:
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You are supposed to be organising the escape plans should we get "downed and captured" like.
I sat here all night waiting for the coded messages from you but none came.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dvdtalk.com%2Freviews%2Fimages%2Freviews%2F190%2F1168903970.jpg&hash=aa5d513a867be45b648c27dcb82cd4f51a0ce737)
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You are supposed to be organising the escape plans should we get "downed and captured" like.
I sat here all night waiting for the coded messages from you but none came.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dvdtalk.com%2Freviews%2Fimages%2Freviews%2F190%2F1168903970.jpg&hash=aa5d513a867be45b648c27dcb82cd4f51a0ce737)
I can do that! happy088
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Goad Moaning!
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Goad Moaning!
Gud moaning yoong hund...
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Just practising like ~ in case. whistle:
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If we end in France then the navigator is going to get a serious slap. angry041:
Spain might be good. Are they still neutral? rubschin:
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Well no one else offered to navigate! cussing:
On one memorable occasion when I was trying to map read our way out of Gatwick airport I told my Dad that we would soon be crossing a river. Apparently the little squiggly blue lines are roads not rivers. redface:
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Well no one else offered to navigate! cussing:
On one memorable occasion when I was trying to map read our way out of Gatwick airport I told my Dad that we would soon be crossing a river. Apparently the little squiggly blue lines are roads not rivers. redface:
I think that makes you qualified for ariel navigation. Sign here please....
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<scratch of pen on paper>
Hang on .... what does this bit say .... ?!?! eeek:
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<scratch of pen on paper>
Hang on .... what does this bit say .... ?!?! eeek:
Well you know that bit in the movies when the plane is going down and people start yakking things out to save weight...
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Why is this on 2 threads?
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Why is this on 2 threads?
It is the best we have... noooo:
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Why is this on 2 threads?
Merge! Merge! whistle:
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Why is this on 2 threads?
Merge! Merge! whistle:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! scared2:
[puts on parachute]
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Why is this on 2 threads?
Merge! Merge! whistle:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! scared2:
[puts on parachute]
Now come on, how can we expect you to lead us on mission against tyranny and incompetence with turnips if you cant pull some posts out of one thread and dump 'em in another?
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<pushes BM out of the way to get to the ONLY parachute>
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Why is this on 2 threads?
It is the best we have... noooo:
4 pages and still on topic. You could be right. noooo:
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<pushes BM out of the way to get to the ONLY parachute>
[lets Wenchy take rucksak with sandwiches and puts on real parachute]
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<pushes BM out of the way to get to the ONLY parachute>
[lets Wenchy take rucksak with sandwiches and puts on real parachute]
<looks at sandwiches>
Yummm tuna!
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<pushes BM out of the way to get to the ONLY parachute>
[lets Wenchy take rucksak with sandwiches and puts on real parachute]
<looks at sandwiches>
Yummm tuna!
Cat Food Sarnies sick2: ~ Who let Mrs TG do the catering for this trip?
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<pushes BM out of the way to get to the ONLY parachute>
[lets Wenchy take rucksak with sandwiches and puts on real parachute]
<looks at sandwiches>
Yummm tuna!
lol: Yumster! lol:
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<pushes BM out of the way to get to the ONLY parachute>
[lets Wenchy take rucksak with sandwiches and puts on real parachute]
<looks at sandwiches>
Yummm tuna!
lol: Yumster! lol:
Feck off! You got the parachute!
Where is the choclate?
<scrabbles in bottom of rucksack>
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<pushes BM out of the way to get to the ONLY parachute>
[lets Wenchy take rucksak with sandwiches and puts on real parachute]
<looks at sandwiches>
Yummm tuna!
lol: Yumster! lol:
Feck off! You got the parachute!
Where is the choclate?
<scrabbles in bottom of rucksack>
Someone else got the chocs... whistle:
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<pushes BM out of the way to get to the ONLY parachute>
[lets Wenchy take rucksak with sandwiches and puts on real parachute]
<looks at sandwiches>
Yummm tuna!
lol: Yumster! lol:
Feck off! You got the parachute!
Where is the choclate?
<scrabbles in bottom of rucksack>
Someone else got the chocs... whistle:
<flashes BM to distract him and grabs parachute>
No chocs, not interested!
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<pushes BM out of the way to get to the ONLY parachute>
[lets Wenchy take rucksak with sandwiches and puts on real parachute]
<looks at sandwiches>
Yummm tuna!
lol: Yumster! lol:
Feck off! You got the parachute!
Where is the choclate?
<scrabbles in bottom of rucksack>
Someone else got the chocs... whistle:
<flashes BM to distract him and grabs parachute>
No chocs, not interested!
eeek: ( o Y 0 ) eeek:
[Barman dies with smile on face]
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Sandwiches and a parachute! cloud9:
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There is an airliner approaching us.Or a Fokke-Wulf.I forgot my glasses! redface:
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There is an airliner approaching us.Or a Fokke-Wulf.I forgot my glasses! redface:
FW 190 :
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVnaZLJ.jpg&hash=f7b49a894964d228212d2fb4e35c1b3f6be0c294) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVnaZLJ)
Airliner :
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1nf5Ir.jpg&hash=7cbf45992210a0eba07626f58733aac94a2d933b) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1nf5Ir)
mmmm. I think we may need a new observer chaps. eeek:
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It was a seagull. Sorry. redface:
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There is an airliner approaching us.Or a Fokke-Wulf.I forgot my glasses! redface:
No, just some Fokke come to look at Wenchy dangling from her straps.
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.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkVE7abt8N4
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eeek: ( o Y 0 ) eeek:
[Barman dies with smile on face]
I only just noticed this.
Is Wenchy "unbalanced"?
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Pulling pints does that to a girl. ;)
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Pardon?
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Pardon?
All greek to me. noooo:
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Barmaids are advised that when pulling pints (Real Ales using old fashioned beer engines with manual pumps rather than the more modern fizzy stuff which is expelled from its containers using gas) they should alternate the hand which holds the glass and thus also the "pulling arm" as the constant exercise of one arm in the pulling will result in the development of unwanted muscle in the arm and chest. Since all women have one breast larger (or smaller depending on your preference) than the other, such over development of the muscles can result in an exaggeration of the condition known in the trade as Barmaids Tit.
The symbols used by Barman clearly show this ~ a fact picked up by our very own horny handed son of the soil.
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Barmaids are advised that when pulling pints (Real Ales using old fashioned beer engines with manual pumps rather than the more modern fizzy stuff which is expelled from its containers using gas) they should alternate the hand which holds the glass and thus also the "pulling arm" as the canstant exercise of one arm in the pulling will result in the development of unwanted muscle in the arm and chest. Since all women have one breast larger (or smaller depending on your preference) than the other, such over development of the muscles can result in an exaggeration of the condition known in the trade as Barmaids Tit.
The symbols used by Barman clearly show this ~ a fact picked up by our very own horny handed son of the soil.
redface:
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Barmaids are advised that when pulling pints (Real Ales using old fashioned beer engines with manual pumps rather than the more modern fizzy stuff which is expelled from its containers using gas) they should alternate the hand which holds the glass and thus also the "pulling arm" as the constant exercise of one arm in the pulling will result in the development of unwanted muscle in the arm and chest. Since all women have one breast larger (or smaller depending on your preference) than the other, such over development of the muscles can result in an exaggeration of the condition known in the trade as Barmaids Tit.
The symbols used by Barman clearly show this ~ a fact picked up by our very own horny handed son of the soil.
whistle:
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Shouldn't you be doing flower arrangements or rehearsing your "speech"?
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Shouldn't you be doing flower arrangements or rehearsing your "speech"?
Yes... redface:
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rubschin:
So what happened? Obviously the mission failed, or was it aborted
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8ARxDGtoPU
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The mission started with great promise until BM decided to let Nick fly the plane, also answering Growler's question. whistle:
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=7419.0