The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on June 05, 2007, 09:01:50 AM
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I decided to make a pot roast chicken last night. Mrs Nick and The Boy were later home than I expected and the thing was so overcooked that the chicken had disintegrated and the bones had started to dissolve. It has the consistency of glue. Even the cat won't eat it. I have seldom made or seen or tasted anything so repellent.
Any other disasters waiting to be aired?
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I decided to make a pot roast chicken last night. Mrs Nick and The Boy were later home than I expected and the thing was so overcooked that the chicken had disintegrated and the bones had started to dissolve. It has the consistency of glue. Even the cat won't eat it. I have seldom made or seen or tasted anything so repellent.
Any other disasters waiting to be aired?
You have probably noticed by now that cats are quite fussy about what they eat. Get a dog!
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I decided to make a pot roast chicken last night. Mrs Nick and The Boy were later home than I expected and the thing was so overcooked that the chicken had disintegrated and the bones had started to dissolve. It has the consistency of glue. Even the cat won't eat it. I have seldom made or seen or tasted anything so repellent.
Any other disasters waiting to be aired?
TOP TIP>
Add more liquid, including half a bottle of wine. Cook for a further four hours then ZAP it in a blender. Serve it tonight with fresh crusty bread and tell them it's soup! ~ Drink the remaining half bottle of wine ~ Then throw the chicken away tomorrow.
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It's already in the bin!
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The ever expanding stew
Marrow suprise
Morocan chick pea patties
Falafel
Shoe leather steak
The list of my culinary catastrophes is endless. redface:
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I made some bread recently and forgot to put the yeast in. Imagine three pieces of wood......... cry:
Marrow surprise?
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I made some bread recently and forgot to put the yeast in. Imagine three pieces of wood......... cry:
Marrow surprise?
Don't even go there PLEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssse
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Stuffed marrow suprise! eveilgrin: sick2: It was squeaky!
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Stuffed marrow suprise! eveilgrin: sick2: It was squeaky!
I begged, I pleaded but OH No! You had to say it didn't you ::)
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Of course! eyes:
Oh Morocan lamb tagine was also rather interesting.
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Whatever happened to Sausage and Mash? And if you cannot resist the urge to be cheffy, add some peas and make some onion gravy to go with it.
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Shouldn't this just be called "Crappy Cooking"?
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I decided to make a pot roast chicken last night. Mrs Nick and The Boy were later home than I expected and the thing was so overcooked that the chicken had disintegrated and the bones had started to dissolve. It has the consistency of glue. Even the cat won't eat it. I have seldom made or seen or tasted anything so repellent.
Any other disasters waiting to be aired?
You have probably noticed by now that cats are quite fussy about what they eat. Get a dog!
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Whatever happened to Sausage and Mash? And if you cannot resist the urge to be cheffy, add some peas and make some onion gravy to go with it.
I do sausages and mash too! Not all my food is yoptastic. I don't think five inedible meals over ten years is so bad. eeek:
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Whatever happened to Sausage and Mash? And if you cannot resist the urge to be cheffy, add some peas and make some onion gravy to go with it.
I do sausages and mash too! Not all my food is yoptastic. I don't think five inedible meals over ten years is so bad. eeek:
I do the mash with watercress ~ looks good and lowers the GI a lot.
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Interesting!
I tend to use half normal potatoes and half sweet. Also helps lower the GI.
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Stuffed marrow suprise! eveilgrin: sick2: It was squeaky!
I could be mistaken Wenchy but I dont think that rodents were meant to be included in the recipie eveilgrin:
Not a catastrophe of my own but the first time I went to Romania, having gained a reputation for trying any kind of food I was collared into trying a village delicacy so as not to insult the locals.............
..........smoked pork fat sick2:
At least I hope it was a local delicacy and not a practical joke. Imagine chewing slimy pork and smoke flavoured rubber and you get the picture.
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Mate of mine was treated to Jellied Sheep's Brain in Romania! shocked003
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Friend of mine just got back from Bruges. Apparently cuckoo stuffed with lobster is the latest delicacy! eeek:
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Mate of mine was treated to Jellied Sheep's Brain in Romania! shocked003
I've had sheep's brain stew out there, quite palatable really. Especially with the local hooch. If I didnt know better I'd swear that the vodka had been cut from bear's teeth whistle:
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Interesting!
I tend to use half normal potatoes and half sweet. Also helps lower the GI.
Don't think I want GI lowered onto me, but each to their own. noooo:
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Goats balls? sick2:
Not so much the taste as the texture? noooo:
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You eat cat sh!t? eeek:
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You eat pussy covered in ice cream?
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You know
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.shite.org%2Ftripe%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fimgpoo%2Frichard_gere.jpg&hash=778a3558b0d4c369d3408a2da15188bea84f7982) ????????
Come on ~ I'm not very good at cryptic clues. surrender:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ficanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com%2F2007%2F03%2Fihavenoidea.jpg&hash=2c477f5432801f182ce77acffaac5980df6b9531)
Now you tell me
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Now you tell me
Don't worry Snoops - I got it. ;)
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You know
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.shite.org%2Ftripe%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fimgpoo%2Frichard_gere.jpg&hash=778a3558b0d4c369d3408a2da15188bea84f7982) ????????
Come on ~ I'm not very good at cryptic clues. surrender:
shocked003 I remember hearing about that rumour sick2:
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Now you tell me
Don't worry Snoops - I got it. ;)
Apart from post count building I have no idea what she is on about. Enlighten me.
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Apart from post count building I have no idea what she is on about. Enlighten me.
Me neither. shrugs:
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She must have found a new web site or something? ec;
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Either that or Wenchy has finally worked out how to insert images eveilgrin:
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If you must then of course you can ~ now what do you want to say?
(Humour her for Chrissakes ~ she may turn dangerous)
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Snoopy just tell her you enjoy it when she gets dangerous. I pointed out that Barman may actually enjoy being chastised in Wenchy's dungeon and she hid behind the sofa whistle:
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scared:
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Works every time! point:
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I think the fact you return to post with a huge grin plastered over your face helps there old boy eyes:
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My local had different varieties of Biltong about a year ago. The Ostrich variety was utterly abhorrent and like unwashed flange. sick2: Definitely not recommended.
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I'll have to take your word for it .................. on both points eeek:
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This is probably linked to the "Back to School" thread and a certain local Catholic girls school. I'm sure the Nonsuch girls probably kept the old "pink lettuce" somewhat fresher.
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Ostrich is usually a good meat but making jerky out of it must wreck the taste.
A few years ago Tesco's had a thing about exotic meats so ostrich and crocodile steaks were on the menu. cloud9:
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Oh! What a disgusting thread! You should all be ashamed of yourselves...
The worst thing I ever had to eat was at a village fete in France. The smoked ham was to die for, and lulled into a false sense of security, I said "OK" when asked if I'd like a plate of cold meats.....
God only knows what kind of miscellaneous assortments of bits and pieces of animals(?) I ate, I didn't dare ask!
I suspect there were some real aliens in it. I take their word for it being meat!
The plate had the full colour range from red through blue to green.... YUK YUK YUK! sick2:
That was some fifteen years odd ago and I still shudder to think of it...
I've had the old Crocodile sarnie and make it snappy jobby. tasty it were...
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Ostrich is usually a good meat but making jerky out of it must wreck the taste.
A few years ago Tesco's had a thing about exotic meats so ostrich and crocodile steaks were on the menu. cloud9:
We've got an Ostrich farm just up the road... ;)
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Ostrich . . making jerky
eeek:
I am quite broadminded but really.
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Ostrich is usually a good meat but making jerky out of it must wreck the taste.
A few years ago Tesco's had a thing about exotic meats so ostrich and crocodile steaks were on the menu. cloud9:
We've got an Ostrich farm just up the road... ;)
Bit of olive oil and then bung them under the grill for a few minutes. Lovely
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Ostrich is usually a good meat but making jerky out of it must wreck the taste.
A few years ago Tesco's had a thing about exotic meats so ostrich and crocodile steaks were on the menu. cloud9:
We've got an Ostrich farm just up the road... ;)
Bit of olive oil and then bung them under the grill for a few minutes. Lovely
You?d need a fucking big grill ? best to let the butcher have a go at them first! ;)
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Well if all else fails there is always the half a petrol drum BBQ approach.... eyes:
And in case Nick is reading this just remember the pluck them first old boy point:
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evil:
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Just helping you avoid another catastrophic accident Nick old boy happy100
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Chicken glue, ostrich glue. Just a difference of scale evil:
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Its simple Nick, lightly rub in a little olive oil and wait till the boy and Mrs Nick return before putting under the grill for a couple of minutes.
The Ostrich steaks before you start pouring the oil over yourself Nick point:
Yes I know that Darwin is going to make that sound rude but it seems to make him happy
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Er daft question Snoopy but did you forget to add a comment in there? rubschin:
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Er daft question Snoopy but did you forget to add a comment in there? rubschin:
Second time today I have pressed the wrong tit.
I called it Operator Error last time so this time I guess I'll have to confess to senility. whistle:
I've also used my super powers to erase it from your memory.
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Second time today I have pressed the wrong tit.
I guess that means you are feeling a right tit now drumroll:
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redface:
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You walked into that one I'm afraid point:
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No sorry - I'm a total wuss when it comes to food. Whasa point??? in eating something you have to brace yourself for?
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for the experience and because its there.
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for the experience and because its there.
You could cite the same reason to put your todger in a mousetrap.
Doesn't make it sensible. noooo:
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No that idiots reason was that he believed the $10 million wind up. point:
And he must have known that it would end up on t'internet
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sick2: Ok I've just found my food limit sick2:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.today.reuters.co.uk%2Fmisc%2FgenImage.aspx%3Furi%3D2007-06-&hash=749532f913d97d6a52091a14747002aa8c222ce1)
BEIJING (Reuters) - A man in southeast China says 40 years of swallowing tree frogs and rats live has helped him avoid intestinal complaints and made him strong.
Jiang Musheng, a 66-year-old resident of Jiangxi province, suffered from frequent abdominal pains and coughing from the age of 26, until an old man called Yang Dingcai suggested tree frogs as a remedy, the Beijing News said on Tuesday.
"At first, Jiang Musheng did not dare to eat a live, wriggling frog, but after seeing Yang Dingcai swallow one, he ate ... two without a thought," the paper said.
"After a month of eating live frogs, his stomach pains and coughing were completely gone."
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Er,
I deposited the Chicken Glue down the manhole cover. Er, the neighbour has moved out, so her bathwater no longer flushes, so we have a noxious gas and a plague of effing flies.............
cry: cry: cry: cry:
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Er,
I deposited the Chicken Glue down the manhole cover. Er, the neighbour has moved out, so her bathwater no longer flushes, so we have a noxious gas and a plague of effing flies.............
cry: cry: cry: cry:
You need to send a barrel of cockroaches down there? whistle:
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Try Barman's home brew Nick, by all accounts that will leave the drains cleaner than they have ever been eyes:
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Try Barman's home brew Nick, by all accounts that will leave the drains cleaner than they have ever been eyes:
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Dont tell me you've let Nick loose with the stuff before scared2:
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I am dong a trick with some Domestos now. And hot water. If I am not back in 10 minutes dial 999
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Ummmm, are you back? eeek:
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Marginally back on topic, I'm going away and accordingly tonight's meal will be "fridge contents" omelette with a side order of "fruit bowl persishables".
Perhaps it would be more prudent to bin the lot (or freezer it) and order a take away... eeek:
How do others cope with this dilemma?
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Marginally back on topic, I'm going away and accordingly tonight's meal will be "fridge contents" omelette with a side order of "fruit bowl persishables".
Perhaps it would be more prudent to bin the lot (or freezer it) and order a take away... eeek:
How do others cope with this dilemma?
We are having the same tonight.
CHEERS
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Marginally back on topic, I'm going away and accordingly tonight's meal will be "fridge contents" omelette with a side order of "fruit bowl persishables".
Perhaps it would be more prudent to bin the lot (or freezer it) and order a take away... eeek:
How do others cope with this dilemma?
Much the same way usually .... anything remaining is thrown between slices of bread and handed into the back of the car whilst we travel. Kids eat anything when bored on a journey and are still hungry when we get there so my first stop is the accommodation where Mrs S unpacks whilst I go to nearest chippy and return with supper.
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Can you freeze Parmaggiano? Oh well, we'll see. The houmus has gone courtesy of a packet of Dorritos. That leaves the eggs, ham, tomatos, beetroot, tuna & sweetcorn sandwich filling and a less than appetising Cos lettuce. I feel a Celebrity Chef moment coming on lol:
To be followed by an apple, lemon and Cabernet Sauvignon coulis... confused:
Tomorrow's breakfast looks to be a half litre of grape juice / raspberry mix, a smoked bacon sarnie, coffee, the last toasted slice of bread and all to the sound of a cabbie tooting his horn confused:
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Perfick.
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Leftovers tonight/ Whole contents of fridge and some curry powder. Yum
You can use bananas in curry, can't you?
Also beetroot cry:
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Leftovers tonight/ Whole contents of fridge and some curry powder. Yum
You can use bananas in curry, can't you?
Also beetroot cry:
Air freshener and a roll of 'Charmin' in the freezer?
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At least it isn't turkey!
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At least it isn't turkey!
Are you quite sure?
The unwashed numpties in Lidl's 'poultry' department aren't that bright. noooo:
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beetroot is ok in sandwiches, but the bread gans a bit claggy
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beetroot is ok in sandwiches, but the bread gans a bit claggy
Beetroot???? sick2: sick2: sick2:
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beetroot is ok in sandwiches, but the bread gans a bit claggy
Beetroot???? sick2: sick2: sick2:
Bread !!!!
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beetroot is ok in sandwiches, but the bread gans a bit claggy
Beetroot???? sick2: sick2: sick2:
Bread !!!!
Claggy!!!!
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She had seconds! eeek:
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Just looked in the office canteen, there is something called mexican mixed meat that looks like someone has scraped up steamroller road kill and added courgettes and chopped tinned tomato sick2:
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Just looked in the office canteen, there is something called mexican mixed meat that looks like someone has scraped up steamroller road kill and added courgettes and chopped tinned tomato sick2:
NICK! someone has stolen your recipe book. eeek:
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A Nick recipie book? Hmmm I can see the birth of another thread..... point:
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Just looked in the office canteen, there is something called mexican mixed meat that looks like someone has scraped up steamroller road kill and added courgettes and chopped tinned tomato sick2:
NICK! someone has stolen your recipe book. eeek:
They will be hearing from my solicitors (if they are still alive, they were round here the other day for dinner) eeek:
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I could have been mistaken Nick but there may have beed some badger in there point:
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beed?
Fresh Badger is very tasty. If prepared correctly.
And shaved
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Fresh Badger is very tasty. If prepared correctly.
And shaved
sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2: sick2:
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Well the canteen has done itself proud today, on the menu - casserole. In reality, a scary looking dessicated lump of something that looks as if its been passed through a dysinteric warthog eeek: sick2:
Nick, please for the sake of mercy take your bleedin cookbook back off them
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Well the canteen has done itself proud today, on the menu - casserole. In reality, a scary looking dessicated lump of something that looks as if its been passed through a dysinteric warthog eeek: sick2:
Nick, please for the sake of mercy take your bleedin cookbook back off them
Too late - they are smitten. er.. smoted?
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Done
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I'll believe it when I look in there tomorrow and dont see them trying to serve something that looks like Sgt Schlock Nick whistle:
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Done
No! not me - them! Banghead
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Can't comment on the state of the canteen today as I erred on the side of caution and brought sandwiches whistle:
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Well one of the other guys in the office has just come back with is lunch from the canteen and is currently fighting whatever has been dolloped onto his plate for the fork.
Nick you swine I thought you said you had taken your recipie book back cussing:
sick2:
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I am doing a new salmon and bacon recipe tonight. I guess the two substances have smoke in common (or they will do by the time I have sorted them out!)
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To be honest as long as the salmon isnt too strong it could work eyes:
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I have just been fighting the salmon. Bugger, it did NOT want to go in that pot!
Tis now though
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Sounds quite salty. sick2:
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although I love fish I am not a salmon lover, infact I can't think of any freshwater fish that I like..
maybe the odd stickleback whistle:
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No, firey
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Ahhh, burnt is it?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zLADEj1aPo
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Done!
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although I love fish I am not a salmon lover, infact I can't think of any freshwater fish that I like..
maybe the odd stickleback whistle:
Sticklebacks. That takes me back. Use scissors and then deep fry them
Alive!
Sorry, being cross here about USELESS USELESS COUNTY HALL TOSSERS cussing: cussing:WHO GIVE YOU A PHONE NUMBER WHICH TURNS OUT TO BE A FAX NUMBER SO ALL YOU GET IS THAT STUPID BLEEPING NOISE. cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Berek saw my mellower side last night. But I have shafted Miss Whiplash today, which is satisfying
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eeek:
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I have just been fighting the salmon. Bugger, it did NOT want to go in that pot!
Tis now though
Nick you are supposed to kill it before you cook it confused2:
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Berek saw my mellower side last night. But I have shafted Miss Whiplash today, which is satisfying
After what you told me yesterday I hope you gave her one from me as well... whistle: eyes:
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Or are salmon like lobsters and you boil them alive?
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Berek saw my mellower side last night. But I have shafted Miss Whiplash today, which is satisfying
After what you told me yesterday I hope you gave her one from me as well... whistle: eyes:
No I wouldn't, but my invoice is being paid in full tomorrow!!
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Berek saw my mellower side last night. But I have shafted Miss Whiplash today, which is satisfying
After what you told me yesterday I hope you gave her one from me as well... whistle: eyes:
No I wouldn't, but my invoice is being paid in full tomorrow!!
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
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Berek saw my mellower side last night. But I have shafted Miss Whiplash today, which is satisfying
Errr Nick should I remind you that the boy has shown a hell of a knack for cracking all of your passwords.......
All its going to take is for him to ask Mrs Nick what that phrase means and we'll have to chip in for a headstone for you eeek:
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although I love fish I am not a salmon lover, infact I can't think of any freshwater fish that I like..
maybe the odd stickleback whistle:
Perch, baked in clay.
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Only Berek understands me cry:
Off to piano lesson now
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chopsticks !
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If you insist. Fancy a Chinese eyes:
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http://www.shengs.com/
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Ok today's canteen delight is a chilli beef ciabatta. Cant really taste chilli although there is a strange burning sensation..... scared2: