The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on November 24, 2008, 12:38:40 PM
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Mrs GROWLER informed me that Mini Moose tried to use the printer last night, and it threw up an error on the screen.
I immediately rremebered that a scrw fell off the shelf recently, and fell down the paper feed slot.
Disconnected it this morning, and promptly turned it upside down and shook it to remove said screw.
Bird brain here though didn't think to take the ink cartridges out first though, did he? noooo:
The mess all over the desk, papers, carpet and chair, not to mention my kecks is going to take some explaining I fear.
Took it outside, and it's dripped all over the hall carpet, and the path now looks like it's had a supertanker disaster on it.
Basically, i'm agitated and in deep shit. whistle:
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You spend too much time with Nick. point:
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Mrs GROWLER informed me that Mini Moose tried to use the printer last night, and it threw up an error on the screen.
I immediately rremebered that a scrw fell off the shelf recently, and fell down the paper feed slot.
Disconnected it this morning, and promptly turned it upside down and shook it to remove said screw.
Bird brain here though didn't think to take the ink cartridges out first though, did he? noooo:
The mess all over the desk, papers, carpet and chair, not to mention my kecks is going to take some explaining I fear.
Took it outside, and it's dripped all over the hall carpet, and the path now looks like it's had a supertanker disaster on it.
Basically, i'm agitated and in deep shit. whistle:
Slip in the bit about Peter Pan at the time you tell her, smokescreen like. whistle:
Printers are the devils tools anyway, cast it out.
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Be a real man ~ blame the child and buy a new printer (£29.99) in Staples)
The mess was made because she gubbed the printer and you had to carry it out of the house to get rid of it ~ therefore the mess is her fault as well.
Buy yourself a cake whilst you are out getting a printer.
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Don't think I'll need to tell her tbh DS.
The place looks like a war zone now, and scrubbing it is just making it werser.
Bit nippy for a night in the doghouse too. ::)
Almost past caring now though. what's done is done. The carpets were shite anyway.
Bloody printer STILL not werkin' properly though. Telling me I'm out of black ink when I can hear it sloshing 'round inside the cartridge. confused:
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happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
His life is getting to be worse than mine. ;D ;D ;D
I am making the startings of a Crimbo Cake this afternoon.He could opo into help and I could show him how it's done
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happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
His life is getting to be worse than mine. ;D ;D ;D
I am making the startings of a Crimbo Cake this afternoon.He could opo into help and I could show him how it's done
No thanks ~ I'll be ordering mine from ASDA ~ to be delivered. It's cheaper, better and less effort.
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happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
His life is getting to be worse than mine. ;D ;D ;D
I am making the startings of a Crimbo Cake this afternoon.He could opo into help and I could show him how it's done
So pleased to have cheered up you miserable existance. ::)
Fun, in'it? noooo:
Bloody stupid printer is now werkin' with the empty black cartridge. Nice blue print only. Banghead
Bin beckons.
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Want a cake making lesson?
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Want a cake making lesson?
No. Ink removal lessons would be more helpful tbh.
My kecks actually look quite trendy now, with ink drips and spots all over them. Sort of a happy hippy 60's look about them like. happy088
Goin' the chippy for a pie. Wonder what can go wrong? ::)
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Pork pie, with free brain worms
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Want a cake making lesson?
No. Ink removal lessons would be more helpful tbh.
My kecks actually look quite trendy now, with ink drips and spots all over them. Sort of a happy hippy 60's look about them like. happy088
Goin' the chippy for a pie. Wonder what can go wrong? ::)
Are we talking ink or toner?
Ink removal: http://www.diynot.com/pages/st/st033.php
Toner removal: http://www.wolfeflooring.com/stain_toner.asp
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In a pie? rubschin:
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Want a cake making lesson?
No. Ink removal lessons would be more helpful tbh.
My kecks actually look quite trendy now, with ink drips and spots all over them. Sort of a happy hippy 60's look about them like. happy088
Goin' the chippy for a pie. Wonder what can go wrong? ::)
Are we talking ink or toner?
Ink removal: http://www.diynot.com/pages/st/st033.php
Toner removal: http://www.wolfeflooring.com/stain_toner.asp
Dunno. It's just black ink...everywhere. eeek:
Epson C64 if that helps?
Just found more evidence of my 'mischief' on the kitchen werktop and dining room table cover cloth thing. Bleach now beckons.
No flowers at me funeral thanks.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
CAREFUL WITH THE BLEACH. I HAVE HAD MORE ACCIDENTS WITH BLEACH noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
BE VERY VERY CAREFUL AND DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY AND OPEN WINDOWS TO DISPERSE SMELL TO AVOID QUESTIONING.
I may have to go round there, I can see. The man has a death wish. I can help angel1
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Ink = Liquid usually found in Inkjet printers etc
Toner = Powder usually found in photocopiers and laser printers.
I'm figuring ink ~ you have a problem but the answer is in the first link.
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Ink = Liquid usually found in Inkjet printers etc
Toner = Powder usually found in photocopiers and laser printers.
I'm figuring ink ~ you have a problem but the answer is in the first link.
Tar. Bleach if it doesn't werk. Can't make it any werse. It does look pretty damned dreadful though....everywhere.
How could I be so so bloody stupid? Unbloodybelievable. noooo:
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scared2:
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Fancy a pint?
We also have a spare bed,like
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
CAREFUL WITH THE BLEACH. I HAVE HAD MORE ACCIDENTS WITH BLEACH noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
BE VERY VERY CAREFUL AND DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY AND OPEN WINDOWS TO DISPERSE SMELL TO AVOID QUESTIONING.
I may have to go round there, I can see. The man has a death wish. I can help angel1
Fear not young Growler ~ help is coming
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OR
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Ey Snoops, you jest, but Mr Muscle has actually shifted it off the woktop AND the dining room table cloth cover thing too!
just experimenting with the carpet now, and it is shiftin' it, albeit slowly and messily like. ::)
I can see a light now, I really can! happy088
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Ey Snoops, you jest, but Mr Muscle has actually shifted it off the woktop AND the dining room table cloth cover thing too!
just experimenting with the carpet now, and it is shiftin' it, albeit slowly and messily like. ::)
I can see a light now, I really can! happy088
Does the light look like this: -
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cashflowheaven.com%2Fimages%2Fpulse4.gif&hash=a86a64b2dfec5d81993440e5ce1471a6fae9ff26)
If it does she's already caught you...
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Ey Snoops, you jest, but Mr Muscle has actually shifted it off the woktop AND the dining room table cloth cover thing too!
just experimenting with the carpet now, and it is shiftin' it, albeit slowly and messily like. ::)
I can see a light now, I really can! happy088
Does the light look like this: -
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cashflowheaven.com%2Fimages%2Fpulse4.gif&hash=a86a64b2dfec5d81993440e5ce1471a6fae9ff26)
If it does she's already caught you...
She's 'ome, so I'm goin' out now...quick like.
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scared2:
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Growler is gubbed... noooo:
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How old is he?
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How old is he?
Good point! ;D
I can't find his age... I reckon we should put him down for say... um... 47... whistle:
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How old is he?
I'm NOT famous, so you can stick yer bloody housy housy up yer arses.
I'm not dead anyway, as you can see.
Bloody charming you lot....NOT, trying to gain summat from me demise. Bunch of gits. cussing:
Anyway Mrs GROWLER wasn't actually too bad tbh.
I played the old tune of being charming and blaming meself for all my "ridiculous stupidity", and told her I was all stressed out over this pending theatre trip.
It's her burfday tomorrow, so I quickly changed the subject, and asked her if she'd like a pressie like?
Going to the Asda now, to see what my mate George cloud9: has got in the sales like.
I think I may have just got away with what I thought was an impending spit roasting lol:
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How old is he?
I'm NOT famous, so you can stick yer bloody housy housy up yer arses.
I'm not dead anyway, as you can see.
Bloody charming you lot....NOT, trying to gain summat from me demise. Bunch of gits. cussing:
Anyway Mrs GROWLER wasn't actually too bad tbh.
I played the old tune of being charming and blaming meself for all my "ridiculous stupidity", and told her I was all stressed out over this pending theatre trip.
It's her burfday tomorrow, so I quickly changed the subject, and asked her if she'd like a pressie like?
Going to the Asda now, to see what my mate George cloud9: has got in the sales like.
I think I may have just got away with what I thought was an impending spit roasting lol:
George at Asda? doh:
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How old is he?
I'm NOT famous, so you can stick yer bloody housy housy up yer arses.
I'm not dead anyway, as you can see.
Bloody charming you lot....NOT, trying to gain summat from me demise. Bunch of gits. cussing:
Anyway Mrs GROWLER wasn't actually too bad tbh.
I played the old tune of being charming and blaming meself for all my "ridiculous stupidity", and told her I was all stressed out over this pending theatre trip.
It's her burfday tomorrow, so I quickly changed the subject, and asked her if she'd like a pressie like?
Going to the Asda now, to see what my mate George cloud9: has got in the sales like.
I think I may have just got away with what I thought was an impending spit roasting lol:
George at Asda? doh:
George at Asda is the Scouse equivalent of Victoria's Secrets
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How old is he?
I'm NOT famous, so you can stick yer bloody housy housy up yer arses.
I'm not dead anyway, as you can see.
Bloody charming you lot....NOT, trying to gain summat from me demise. Bunch of gits. cussing:
Anyway Mrs GROWLER wasn't actually too bad tbh.
I played the old tune of being charming and blaming meself for all my "ridiculous stupidity", and told her I was all stressed out over this pending theatre trip.
It's her burfday tomorrow, so I quickly changed the subject, and asked her if she'd like a pressie like?
Going to the Asda now, to see what my mate George cloud9: has got in the sales like.
I think I may have just got away with what I thought was an impending spit roasting lol:
George at Asda? doh:
George at Asda is the Scouse equivalent of Victoria's Secrets
She'll be well impressed with that... noooo:
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She might be! I remember Christmas during our year of extreme poverty, one of my presents was nice shampoo and conditioner, I was thrilled!
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Every present tells a story. In that case you were being told you looked a mess.
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I got a balloon for my birthday and got it blown up for Christmas... sad24:
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My Mum bought me an electric blanket during the year of poverty to keep warm. Mr Wench wouldn't let me plug it in. sad24: He also bought me a hotwater bottle for Christmas that year.
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I got an empty box with the words "Action man Deserter" on it
By 'eck time were 'ard wi' 15 of us living in a carrier bag on the centre island of the M1
We've all had good and bad times FFS ::)
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I know that! I was just trying to say don't be too quick to "diss" Growler's choice of gift! Banghead
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I know that! I was just trying to say don't be too quick to "diss" Growler's choice of gift! Banghead
Tar. We're not all posh you know.
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I know that! I was just trying to say don't be too quick to "diss" Growler's choice of gift! Banghead
censored:
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I had a disaster this morning... redface:
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Well?
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I had a disaster this morning... redface:
Paint? Ink? Try Mr Muscle. The carpet is starting to look better now, and the garage door is being replaced in 2 weeks too! happy088
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I had a disaster this morning... redface:
It woke me up!
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It involves a high ceiling, a ladder, a slippery floor, bloodied shins, broken furniture and loads of broken glass which I am currently loading into my truck to take to the tip... noooo:
Luckily LL is at the hairdressers... scared2:
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Personal Injury Lawyers are 4 YOU!
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1) Are you alright?
2) point:
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He's been moaning on about it for hours now. He's OK ~ until LL gets home. whistle:
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1) Are you alright?
2) point:
i have stopped shaking now but haven't the courage to look at my shins yet... noooo:
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1) Are you alright?
2) point:
If not, then p'raps someone should find out how old he is like? ::)
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48... Good news for Snoopy and Pastis... noooo:
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48... Good news for Snoopy and Pastis... noooo:
Quite frankly, I find that disgusting. evil:
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1) Are you alright?
2) point:
i have stopped shaking now but haven't the courage to look at my shins yet... noooo:
But what happened?
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::)
I was at the top of the ladder... the ladder slipped and the pair of us (Barman and ladder) crashed down on a piece of custom made furniture with a large glass top which is now in pieces and being loaded into my truck for disposal.
My shins scraped down something in the process and are extremely painful... I'm worried that the pale bit I can see may actually be the shin bone... scared2:
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Shin bone, is ghostly pale and sort of iridescent in the sunshine, blood doesn't really stick to it, so it is rather streaky.
How cross is LL going to be? If it is your shinbone is she likely to be more sympathetic? What were you doing up the ladder?
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Shin bone, is ghostly pale and sort of iridescent in the sunshine, blood doesn't really stick to it, so it is rather streaky.
How cross is LL going to be? If it is your shinbone is she likely to be more sympathetic? What were you doing up the ladder?
Put it this way... the last thing she said before walking out of the door was "you won't forget to put that non-slip mat under the ladder will you...?"
scared2:
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Bollox to what LL thinks...with respect like...but isn't your well being a tad more important than a bit of old furniture.
Anyway, you do what I did yesterday, and play the "oh how stupid I am lah de dah de dum' card, and then quickly change the subject to something she wants to hear.
It werks, believe me. ;)
Were you agitated at the time btw, cus that's always a good one to chuck in you know. rubschin:
One has to turn these discussions around and try making out that it wasn't really all your fault.
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Bollox to what LL thinks...with respect like...but isn't your well being a tad more important than a bit of old furniture.
Anyway, you do what I did yesterday, and play the "oh how stupid I am lah de dah de dum' card, and then quickly change the subject to something she wants to hear.
It werks, believe me. ;)
Were you agitated at the time btw, cus that's always a good one to chuck in you know. rubschin:
I'd just started for the day like... noooo:
It will take the rest of the day to clear the glass and blood and broken furniture up... noooo:
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Bollox to what LL thinks...with respect like...but isn't your well being a tad more important than a bit of old furniture.
Anyway, you do what I did yesterday, and play the "oh how stupid I am lah de dah de dum' card, and then quickly change the subject to something she wants to hear.
It werks, believe me. ;)
Were you agitated at the time btw, cus that's always a good one to chuck in you know. rubschin:
I'd just started for the day like... noooo:
It will take the rest of the day to clear the glass and blood and broken furniture up... noooo:
Something must have been praying on your mind. Think man! ;)
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Bollox to what LL thinks...with respect like...but isn't your well being a tad more important than a bit of old furniture.
Anyway, you do what I did yesterday, and play the "oh how stupid I am lah de dah de dum' card, and then quickly change the subject to something she wants to hear.
It werks, believe me. ;)
That's what you think - just wait
Were you agitated at the time btw, cus that's always a good one to chuck in you know. rubschin:
One has to turn these discussions around and try making out that it wasn't really all your fault.
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There is a big 'ole in the laminate floor too... noooo:
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Bollox to what LL thinks...with respect like...but isn't your well being a tad more important than a bit of old furniture.
Anyway, you do what I did yesterday, and play the "oh how stupid I am lah de dah de dum' card, and then quickly change the subject to something she wants to hear.
It werks, believe me. ;)
Were you agitated at the time btw, cus that's always a good one to chuck in you know. rubschin:
I'd just started for the day like... noooo:
It will take the rest of the day to clear the glass and blood and broken furniture up... noooo:
Do make sure you don't have any glass left in your cuts. When they start working their way to the surface after you've healed it hurts like hell.
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Well things got so out of hand here last night, with everyone screaming and shouting, that I left the house and spent the night in a hotel!
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Why were your house screaming and shouting?
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The Boy got into a strop and things escalated evil:
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Oh dear.
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We seem to have rather lost track of BM's shinbone rubschin:
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We seem to have rather lost track of BM's shinbone rubschin:
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Get LL to give you a rub
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Get LL to give you a rub
She has yet to return... scared2:
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Lie on the floor and groan when she gets back
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Lie on the floor and groan when she gets back
Indeed... I shall squirt ketchup all over me too... whistle:
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Good plan.Are you hoping she will lick it off, like?
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Good plan.Are you hoping she will lick it off, like?
Not off my shins... noooo:
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There is a big 'ole in the laminate floor too... noooo:
Of course you kept some spare boards from when you laid the floor ~ for just such an eventuality? I have angel1
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There is a big 'ole in the laminate floor too... noooo:
Of course you kept some spare boards from when you laid the floor ~ for just such an eventuality? I have angel1
noooo:
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point: Oh this just gets better the more I hear.
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point: Oh this just gets better the more I hear.
Thanks for your support... cussing:
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Oh we are all most concerned about your shins.Honest, like.
char048
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Ta muchly I'm sure... noooo:
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Will LL notice the broiken furniture and damaged flooring do you think?
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Will LL notice the broiken furniture and damaged flooring do you think?
Hawk Eyes? No of course not... ::)
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Is she back yet? eveilgrin:
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Do you think he would be here if she was?
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I have some popcorn ready.
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I am being repaired.... cloud9:
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By whom?
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By whom?
LL cloud9:
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Has she seen the damage?
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No problemo... whistle:
I'm bionic now with plastic skin an' stuff...
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And the floor?
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She hasn't seen the big 'ole in the floor yet... noooo:
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point:
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evil:
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And the broken furniture?
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And the broken furniture?
I told her I could fill it in like... whistle:
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I think she may fill it in using you! Fill it in with what? !
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I think she may fill it in using you! Fill it in with what? !
Filler... ::)
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To match the laminate, like? Invisibly?
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To match the laminate, like? Invisibly?
Precisely... whistle:
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Gubbed noooo:
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Gubbed noooo:
Noooo... what could possibly go wrong? Shrugs:
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She must have seen it by now!
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She must have seen it by now!
whistle:
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He's put a rug over it
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He's put a rug over it
drumroll:
::)
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He's put a rug over it
drumroll:
::)
I reckon she knows and is waiting for him to heal before inflicting more pain.
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I agree. Wimmin do that sometimes.I wouldn't want to be in BM's shoes when his shins heal
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Like elephants* ~ they never forget.
*(Also when viewed from behind)
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No... a big piece of furniture is parked over it like... whistle:
In fact, I might go and give it a fill now... while she is out like... eveilgrin:
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Yes, poor BM. He will just start to think he is in the clear and BAM. The full Bobbitt noooo:
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No... a big piece of furniture is parked over it like... whistle:
In fact, I might go and give it a fill now... while she is out like... eveilgrin:
Invisible mending?
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
You are a dead man noooo:
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If not actually dead you'll be paying for a new floor ~ then she may kill you.
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If not actually dead you'll be paying for a new floor ~ then she may kill you.
I shall go and open the tin of filler now... and see if the colour matches like... ;)
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It won't
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It won't
It will! evil:
Hold on...
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It won't noooo:
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Barman: The invisible mender! cloud9:
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It will be lighter when it dries out.LL will spot it at once and then
fence:
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It will be lighter when it dries out.LL will spot it at once and then
fence:
Dries out... rubschin:
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Put a rug over it. That will buy you about 30 minutes of life
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You do remember that she pops in here!
And that Tinks is her bessie mate!
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We should collect for a small wreath. Perhaps in plastic
PS I am feeding my cake
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I don't think you need to feed the cake daily! eeek:
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eeek:
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Unless you want a 100% proof cake that is.
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rubschin:
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I am making my own wreath!
Feed the cake weekly! I am sure I said weekly! eeek:
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Are you knitting a wreath?
Weekly eh?
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NO
and
YES
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You do remember that she pops in here!
And that Tinks is her bessie mate!
Tinks is off to the airport like... whistle:
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Has she a bomb with her?
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Has she a bomb with her?
noooo:
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Aerosol can? Nail clippers?
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He's put a rug over it
So what's he wearing on his 'ead now then? Bit nippy on top ay BM? whistle:
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No, he takes it off when it's Scorchio and wears a little hat
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Mrs Nick came home covered in blood last night eeek:. She had been to see King Lear. Front row seats. ::)
The theatre has agreed to pay for the dry cleaning point:
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Mrs Nick came home covered in blood last night eeek:. She had been to see King Lear. Front row seats. ::)
The theatre has agreed to pay for the dry cleaning point:
Why? Did she kill him like? Shit show was it? eeek:
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She said it was a good, but a bit sick2: inducing when that bloke's eye got sucked out of his head, like.
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I sucked the eye out of a fish once... rubschin:
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For fun? rubschin:
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Mrs Nick came home covered in blood last night eeek:. She had been to see King Lear. Front row seats. ::)
The theatre has agreed to pay for the dry cleaning point:
REAL blood?
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For fun? rubschin:
No... I was cleaning its tank... with a syphon like... noooo:
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Some theatrical sort of blood ::)
She was wearing pale colours, unfortunately
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For fun? rubschin:
No... I was cleaning its tank... with a syphon like... noooo:
eeek: point:
Did it survive, like?
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For fun? rubschin:
No... I was cleaning its tank... with a syphon like... noooo:
eeek: point:
Did it survive, like?
Yes, it lived for years afterwards - despite bumping into things... whistle:
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Mrs Nick came home covered in blood last night eeek:. She had been to see King Lear. Front row seats. ::)
The theatre has agreed to pay for the dry cleaning point:
Is this a case of like attracting like ~ I mean was she always like this or did she catch it from .......errrrr ........ you?
And why front row? ~ That's where anyone sitting gets all the spittle from the actors anyway .... and a stiff neck from haviing to look upwards all the time.
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Mrs Nick came home covered in blood last night eeek:. She had been to see King Lear. Front row seats. ::)
The theatre has agreed to pay for the dry cleaning point:
Is this a case of like attracting like ~ I mean was she always like this or did she catch it from .......errrrr ........ you?
And why front row? ~ That's where anyone sitting gets all the spittle from the actors anyway .... and a stiff neck from haviing to look upwards all the time.
. . and picked out by the stand-up man. ;)
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Mrs Nick came home covered in blood last night eeek:. She had been to see King Lear. Front row seats. ::)
The theatre has agreed to pay for the dry cleaning point:
Is this a case of like attracting like ~ I mean was she always like this or did she catch it from .......errrrr ........ you?
And why front row? ~ That's where anyone sitting gets all the spittle from the actors anyway .... and a stiff neck from haviing to look upwards all the time.
. . and picked out by the stand-up man. ;)
lol: lol: lol:
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Mrs Nick came home covered in blood last night eeek:. She had been to see King Lear. Front row seats. ::)
The theatre has agreed to pay for the dry cleaning point:
Is this a case of like attracting like ~ I mean was she always like this or did she catch it from .......errrrr ........ you?
And why front row? ~ That's where anyone sitting gets all the spittle from the actors anyway .... and a stiff neck from haviing to look upwards all the time.
. . and picked out by the stand-up man. ;)
lol: lol: lol:
Indeed evil:
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That happens to me regardless of if I'm sitting in the front or twenty rows back. noooo:
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You should try to look less conspicuous.Wear a burqah or summat
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Mrs Nick came home covered in blood last night eeek:. She had been to see King Lear. Front row seats. ::)
The theatre has agreed to pay for the dry cleaning point:
Is this a case of like attracting like ~ I mean was she always like this or did she catch it from .......errrrr ........ you?
And why front row? ~ That's where anyone sitting gets all the spittle from the actors anyway .... and a stiff neck from haviing to look upwards all the time.
They were actually sort of sitting on the edge of the acting area, very intimate production.
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A pub theatre then or a "Private" club? eyes:
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http://www.everymanplayhouse.com/whats-on/show-detail.asp?id=219 (http://www.everymanplayhouse.com/whats-on/show-detail.asp?id=219) ::)
We are back there on Satruday.Going to see Blood Wedding eeek:
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"Community Theatre" ~ never a good idea to get too close I feel.
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That happens to me regardless of if I'm sitting in the front or twenty rows back. noooo:
You should dry your tee shirt thoroughly before sitting down. whistle:
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drumroll: