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Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on December 02, 2008, 11:03:37 AM

Title: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 02, 2008, 11:03:37 AM
Mrs GROWLER was given a Jamie Oliver cook book for her burfday last week. She'd asked for it I believe, with the idea in mind that we're all going to eat a healthier diet...apparently, so she says like. ::)

Last night, she took it upon herself to try a recipe out, involving mince, onions, garlic, tomato, a few mushrooms and a stack of boiled rice.
It took her over 2 hours, during which time I started eating the sofa I was that hungry.
When it was finally served up at 7:30, it was absolute shite. sick2:

Left most of it and came in here to gorge marzipan filled chocolates and a fag or two. Proper heathens fodder. cloud9:

Tonight I'M cookin proper grub cus she's at werk.
Pie chips and a bit of mixed veg, with lashings of gravy. happy088

Jamie Oliver. You're a tosser. I'd rather die happy and well fed rather than forced to eat your so called healthy shite. ::)

Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Bar Wench on December 02, 2008, 11:08:05 AM
The new book? The Ministry of Food or some such nonsense? Meant to be easy food for the culinary challenged? I watched the programme, some of it looked repulsive.  sick2:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 02, 2008, 11:18:10 AM
The new book? The Ministry of Food or some such nonsense? Meant to be easy food for the culinary challenged? I watched the programme, some of it looked repulsive.  sick2:

That's the one, yes! ::)

Even the brothers wife has come up with some idea from it, that when they come up just before crimbo, we've all got to take the Ministry challenge or summat, meaning we've ALL got to cook a seperate dish for tea.
She suggested I do a salad.
I suggested she talk muchonian shiteymost, and I simply go to the chinky take away.
Sorted. happy088
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Bar Wench on December 02, 2008, 11:19:12 AM
 eeek:

I would simply off to get takeaway for all.

 eeek:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 02, 2008, 11:21:21 AM
eeek:

I would simply off to get takeaway for all.

 eeek:

I quite like you Wenchy. You're 'tuned in' to my way of thinking. eeek:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 02, 2008, 11:54:19 AM
Jamie Oliver ~ nice lad, foul mouth, lovely wife, funny ideas about food these days ~ better when he was starting out with the idea of stripping away all the fancy crap and simply cooking decent grub.

Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall ~ he can't help his name. Does some damned good recipes and can actually cook (I've eaten his stuff). I like the idea of cooking seasonal foods and love the idea of free food. We make all our jams, pickles, chutneys etc from his recipes (with a little help from the WI book of preserving circa 1955)

Antony Worral Thompson ~ again the name is not his fault. Cooks like an angel (I ate in "Wozzas" when he used to do all the cooking). Like me he hates "Cheffy" food and all that faffing about. Wozza is particularly good at diabetic diets, low GI foods etc.

River Cafe Bints ~ can't remember their names. Ate there once ~ bloody awful

Most other celeb chefs I wouldn't give you thank you for although a night with Nigella would not be refused ~ whether we ate first or not.
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Bar Wench on December 02, 2008, 12:24:00 PM
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Every-Day-Bill-Granger/dp/1740458583/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1228220517&sr=8-1

I'm asking for this this year. I've watched his programme a lot and he seems to be all about basic food, no fancy bollocks and a lot of it seems to be food people would actually eat and not faffy in the ingredients department.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Indian-Food-Made-Anjum-Anand/dp/1844005712/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1228220593&sr=1-1

She seems to be all the rage this year too. And having watched a couple of her programmes it also seems to be fairly low faff for what is inherently quite a difficult area of cooking.
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 02, 2008, 12:42:13 PM
A quick count reveals 80 cookery books on the shelf in the dining room including a note book of my Mother's hand written recipes from WWII and one called "The Vulcan Cook Book" by a Mrs D. D. Cottington Taylor (Director of the Good Housekeeping Institute) that was published in 1936 and came free with a Gas Stove made by the Vulcan Stove Co. Ltd. of Exeter. Some splendid  pre-war recipes in that.

Another that I acquired from a second hand book sale dates from 1905 and is called "The Classic Cookery of Baron Brisse"
It contains a menu for three meals a day for 366 days of the year and includes the recipes to make all the dishes.
An example that Nick might try (let's face it he might!)
Larks Cutlets
Bone your larks, flatten them out as much as possible to the shape of a cutlet (nowadays we would say "butterfly" them), fill all holes with forcemeat, sprinkle with salt and pepper and cook in butter over a quick fire; when done dish up and cover with any sauce that may be fancied.

The rest of that meal for December 12th is:

Rice Soup
Braised leg of Mutton
Lark Cutlets
Lobsters a la bordelaise
Spinach with veloute sauce
Vanilla ice

By golly ~ they knew how to live
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 02, 2008, 01:01:51 PM
I can't stand the fat tongued mockeney - I'd give him a good shoeing given half a chance....  noooo:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 02, 2008, 01:04:04 PM
I can't stand the fat tongued mockeney - I'd give him a good shoeing given half a chance....  noooo:

He can't help his disability ~ and I expect he puts a non slip mat under his ladder  whistle:

Mind you he can irritate me too.
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 02, 2008, 03:18:11 PM
I can't stand the fat tongued mockeney - I'd give him a good shoeing given half a chance....  noooo:

He can't help his disability ~ and I expect he puts a non slip mat under his ladder  whistle:

Mind you he can irritate me too.

Well he's really pissed me off now anyway. Some wimmen take what he says as gospel, whereas in reality, most of it's shite, and it's ME that's suffering as a consequence now. cussing:
Bloody cook books....devils words. eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Bar Wench on December 02, 2008, 03:24:21 PM
Jamie Oliver is alright. Is he irritating, yes totally, holier than thou, absolutely, has he got worse as the years pass, undoubtedly. However, leaving his latest programme aside, he does do some good work. And seems to believe in what he does 100%. I know he makes money out of his endeavours but he's done a lot of good too.

Whilst a lot of what he says may seem common sense to us there are people to whom it doesn't and thanks to Jamie Oliver an awful lot of kids get an occasional home cooked meal which wouldn't have happened before.
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 02, 2008, 03:25:07 PM
I can't stand the fat tongued mockeney - I'd give him a good shoeing given half a chance....  noooo:

He can't help his disability ~ and I expect he puts a non slip mat under his ladder  whistle:

Mind you he can irritate me too.

Well he's really pissed me off now anyway. Some wimmen take what he says as gospel, whereas in reality, most of it's shite, and it's ME that's suffering as a consequence now. cussing:
Bloody cook books....devils words. eveilgrin:

Best pla(i)ce for you my lad is ~ down the chip shop.
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 02, 2008, 03:30:19 PM
I can't stand the fat tongued mockeney - I'd give him a good shoeing given half a chance....  noooo:

He can't help his disability ~ and I expect he puts a non slip mat under his ladder  whistle:

Mind you he can irritate me too.

Well he's really pissed me off now anyway. Some wimmen take what he says as gospel, whereas in reality, most of it's shite, and it's ME that's suffering as a consequence now. cussing:
Bloody cook books....devils words. eveilgrin:

Best pla(i)ce for you my lad is ~ down the chip shop.

I'm not adverse to a bit of home cooking....prefer to do my 'stuff' outdoors mind....but not overly complicated fancy gunge, just straight forward wholesome filling hot and tasty stuff, no frills, basic like.
Called 'Buffalo grub' when I cook. All honest, hits the spot, and earthy like. cloud9:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Bar Wench on December 02, 2008, 03:35:05 PM
Is that coz you drop it in the mud?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 02, 2008, 03:36:47 PM
I still think the fat tongued mockney needs a good shoeing...  cussing:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 02, 2008, 03:45:21 PM
I can't stand the fat tongued mockeney - I'd give him a good shoeing given half a chance....  noooo:

He can't help his disability ~ and I expect he puts a non slip mat under his ladder  whistle:

Mind you he can irritate me too.

Well he's really pissed me off now anyway. Some wimmen take what he says as gospel, whereas in reality, most of it's shite, and it's ME that's suffering as a consequence now. cussing:
Bloody cook books....devils words. eveilgrin:

Best pla(i)ce for you my lad is ~ down the chip shop.

I'm not adverse to a bit of home cooking....prefer to do my 'stuff' outdoors mind....but not overly complicated fancy gunge, just straight forward wholesome filling hot and tasty stuff, no frills, basic like.
Called 'Buffalo grub' when I cook. All honest, hits the spot, and earthy like. cloud9:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F40153000%2Fjpg%2F_40153114_cowpie300300.jpg&hash=fcde25bee90ed6af7cba548da4b82d438a26a103)
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 02, 2008, 03:47:07 PM
I can't stand the fat tongued mockeney - I'd give him a good shoeing given half a chance....  noooo:

He can't help his disability ~ and I expect he puts a non slip mat under his ladder  whistle:

Mind you he can irritate me too.

Well he's really pissed me off now anyway. Some wimmen take what he says as gospel, whereas in reality, most of it's shite, and it's ME that's suffering as a consequence now. cussing:
Bloody cook books....devils words. eveilgrin:

Best pla(i)ce for you my lad is ~ down the chip shop.

I'm not adverse to a bit of home cooking....prefer to do my 'stuff' outdoors mind....but not overly complicated fancy gunge, just straight forward wholesome filling hot and tasty stuff, no frills, basic like.
Called 'Buffalo grub' when I cook. All honest, hits the spot, and earthy like. cloud9:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F40153000%2Fjpg%2F_40153114_cowpie300300.jpg&hash=fcde25bee90ed6af7cba548da4b82d438a26a103)
Which part of the cow has he got in his mouth...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Bar Wench on December 02, 2008, 03:47:27 PM
The tongue.
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 02, 2008, 03:52:16 PM
Wenchy's right ~ 'cos cows don't have the bit you were thinking of ~ that's Bulls. whistle:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 02, 2008, 03:55:05 PM
Wenchy's right ~ 'cos cows don't have the bit you were thinking of ~ that's Bulls. whistle:
doh:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 02, 2008, 04:56:31 PM
Wenchy's right ~ 'cos cows don't have the bit you were thinking of ~ that's Bulls. whistle:
doh:

Just as well BM doesnt have to milk one...  whistle:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 02, 2008, 04:58:06 PM
Wenchy's right ~ 'cos cows don't have the bit you were thinking of ~ that's Bulls. whistle:
doh:

Just as well BM doesnt have to milk one...  whistle:
You can't milk a bull...  noooo:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Bar Wench on December 02, 2008, 04:59:31 PM
Well ......  redface:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 02, 2008, 05:02:33 PM
Well ......  redface:
Oh Wenchy!  noooo:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 02, 2008, 05:05:24 PM
Well ......  redface:
Oh Wenchy!  noooo:

'seasy innit Wenchy ~ just hang on and that old bull he'll jump up and down, up and down, up and down.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.redbluffbullsale.com%2FImages%2FImageManager%2F2007.champ.bull.JackOwensIdeal.jpg&hash=2004cd5a01bdf47fc5cac803cdb71976af8ca52a)
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 02, 2008, 06:46:29 PM
Buffalo Turkey escolopes, chips and baked beans tonight.

Youghurt and then Morrinsons finest crimbo CAKE for pudding. cloud9:
Mrs GROWLER is out. happy088
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 02, 2008, 07:01:04 PM
Buffalo Turkey escolopes, chips and baked beans tonight.

Youghurt and then Morrinsons finest crimbo CAKE for pudding. cloud9:
Mrs GROWLER is out. happy088
This is the wrong thread surely...?  noooo:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 02, 2008, 07:05:23 PM
Buffalo Turkey escolopes, chips and baked beans tonight.

Youghurt and then Morrinsons finest crimbo CAKE for pudding. cloud9:
Mrs GROWLER is out. happy088
This is the wrong thread surely...?  noooo:

Yes/No. A relevant GROWLER fights back against J.O. post. happy088
My bloody thread anyway, so sod off. Angry9:

The GROWLER'S jnr. will enjoy their meal tonight, and not have to wait 2 bloody hours for it either.  noooo:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 19, 2008, 10:10:04 AM
Who watched Nigella on the telly last night then eh...?  cloud9:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 19, 2008, 10:26:10 AM
Who watched Nigella on the telly last night then eh...?  cloud9:

 tunble:

I'll have been at the chippy problee. cloud9:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2008, 10:39:34 AM
I find too much Nigella makes me randy.
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Uncle Mort on December 19, 2008, 10:41:27 AM
I find too much Nigella makes me randy.

 eeek:

(same here  redface:)
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: TG on December 19, 2008, 10:45:09 AM
That makes four of us.  razz:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Nick on December 19, 2008, 10:48:07 AM
We are now on a mission to find a Spanish translation of Jamie Oliver for our friends . Wonder what Wotcha Cock is in Spanish rubschin:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2008, 10:50:48 AM
We are now on a mission to find a Spanish translation of Jamie Oliver for our friends . Wonder what Wotcha Cock is in Spanish rubschin:

Mire su martillo  whistle:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Nick on December 19, 2008, 10:51:27 AM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2008, 10:52:20 AM
Never mind all that nonsense ~ have you got my stick of rock yet?
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Nick on December 19, 2008, 10:52:51 AM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Bar Wench on December 19, 2008, 10:54:25 AM
re last night's nigella: They were repeats, I was unimpressed.
re Jamie Oliver: I don't think he has been translated into Spanish. I know I looked a couple of years ago and he hadn't.
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2008, 10:58:12 AM
Wenchy:

(i) Who watches Nigella to learn to cook?

AND

(ii) http://www.amazon.com/Cocina-Jamie-Oliver-Olivier/dp/8478712046
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Bar Wench on December 19, 2008, 11:26:40 AM
(i) ME!!!

(ii) who knew!  eeek:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2008, 11:29:25 AM
(i) Nigella can't cook very well ~ but she does a good line in soft porn

(ii) ME  angel1
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 19, 2008, 02:03:56 PM
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=r9z5AFQx3Ng

 eyes:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Pastis on December 19, 2008, 02:57:16 PM
 eeek:

 eyes:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2008, 03:01:00 PM
Well ~ that's one of the uses for tissues that I had in mind  redface:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 19, 2008, 03:01:56 PM
Well ~ that's one of the uses for tissues that I had in mind  redface:
lol: lol: lol:

Sexy bitch... I have no idea what she cooked last night....  redface:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 19, 2008, 03:03:36 PM
She fit then like? I know absolutely bog all about her tbh. redface:
Don't do cook books and or progs tbh. noooo:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 19, 2008, 03:04:52 PM
She fit then like? I know absolutely bog all about her tbh. redface:
Don't do cook books and or progs tbh. noooo:
Did you not see my video... on the previous page like...?  Shrugs:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 19, 2008, 03:07:16 PM
She fit then like? I know absolutely bog all about her tbh. redface:
Don't do cook books and or progs tbh. noooo:
Did you not see my video... on the previous page like...?  Shrugs:

No. I'm scrolling back as I type like. Be back with a full written report in a mo. rubschin:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 19, 2008, 03:08:26 PM
She fit then like? I know absolutely bog all about her tbh. redface:
Don't do cook books and or progs tbh. noooo:
Did you not see my video... on the previous page like...?  Shrugs:

No. I'm scrolling back as I type like. Be back with a full written report in a mo. rubschin:
Take your tissues...  whistle:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 19, 2008, 03:08:48 PM
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=r9z5AFQx3Ng

 eyes:

GULP! eeek:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 19, 2008, 03:09:29 PM
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=r9z5AFQx3Ng

 eyes:

GULP! eeek:
And...?
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 19, 2008, 03:10:23 PM
Cough, splutter, wipe.

Fit bint, yes. eyes:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2008, 03:10:34 PM
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=r9z5AFQx3Ng

 eyes:

GULP! eeek:

Bet you'd sniff her Cake  lol:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 19, 2008, 03:12:02 PM
I'd kiss her arse too! cloud9:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 19, 2008, 03:14:05 PM
She's luvleeeee....  cloud9:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: GROWLER on December 19, 2008, 03:15:36 PM
She's luvleeeee....  cloud9:

I'll have to watch her the next time she's on the box...so to speak like. whistle:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Barman on December 19, 2008, 03:17:44 PM
She's luvleeeee....  cloud9:

I'll have to watch her the next time she's on the box...so to speak like. whistle:
She suffers from bad diction... but I forgive her that...  cloud9:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Just One More on January 01, 2009, 12:45:31 PM
Unashamedly stolen from elsewhere

"regarding Nigella L., the papers now report that her Xmas show caused the supermarkets to 'run out of semolina.'

I wasn't aware of that particular expression."  lol:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on January 01, 2009, 06:38:39 PM
She's luvleeeee....  cloud9:
Fitter than a butcher's dog cloud9:
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 02, 2009, 01:06:56 AM
Unashamedly stolen from elsewhere

"regarding Nigella L., the papers now report that her Xmas show caused the supermarkets to 'run out of semolina.'

I wasn't aware of that particular expression."  lol:


 drumroll:

I take it you are not a Navy man?
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: Just One More on January 02, 2009, 07:26:55 AM
No I'm not, but it did remind me of Delboy being asked the very same question, "are you a naval man"

"No, I' a leg man myself"

Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on January 02, 2009, 01:45:51 PM
Boom! Boom!
 (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fsmilie%2Ftiere%2Fe075.gif&hash=9baeb1cadb3efd55c1efe2d0d36f947b9d805dea)
Title: Re: Cook books
Post by: TG on January 05, 2009, 01:27:52 PM
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=r9z5AFQx3Ng

 eyes:

I'm playing catch up here and have only just seen that. Brilliant.  cloud9: