The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Just One More on December 09, 2008, 06:08:21 AM
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women with PMT does it take to change a light bulb?
Woman's Answer:
One!
ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? because no one else in this f*****g house knows HOW to change a f*****g light bulb! They don't even know that the f*****g bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE f*****g DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the f*****g light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!
But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the f*****g chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME f*****g SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE F*****G LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO F****R EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE RUBBISH!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE F*****G PILES OF RUBBISH THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE F*****G HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE!
AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE F*****G TOILET PAPER!!
.....I'm sorry, what was the question
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lol: lol: lol:
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I don't see why this is in the comedy room.
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Do we assume the decorators have arrived? scared:
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No and NO!
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Their arrival is anticipated within the next 7 days? (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fscared005.gif&hash=f38216482586e4df76dc5c2741a6a3fa2406f6bd)
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Who knows. Shrugs: shrugs: Shrugs:
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Who knows. Shrugs: shrugs: Shrugs:
I think we may safely assume ~ judging purely from your previous question.
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Or I might just be switched to permenant bitch mode.
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Or I might just be switched to permenant bitch mode.
eeek:
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It must be your close proximity BM! eveilgrin:
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Or I might just be switched to permenant bitch mode.
Leather and whips and stuff?
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No, just screaming irrational behaviour where no one can do anything right. eveilgrin:
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When was that last switched off? angel1
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It must be your close proximity BM! eveilgrin:
eeek: eeek:
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When was that last switched off? angel1
I'm normally quite reasonable! I did have a bit of a melt down last night though when Mr Wench snapped a knitting needle under his great clumsy feet.
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When was that last switched off? angel1
happy001 point:
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When was that last switched off? angel1
I'm normally quite reasonable! I did have a bit of a melt down last night though when Mr Wench snapped a knitting needle under his great clumsy feet.
'We' bought knitting needles yesterday... ::)
I told her to get metal ones in case I stepped on them and snapped them like Mr. Wench... whistle:
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But my lovely teeny bamboo ones are so lovely. noooo:
What's she knitting like?
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But my lovely teeny bamboo ones are so lovely. noooo:
What's she knitting like?
Baby clothes.... scared2:
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Piglets! cloud9:
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Piglets! cloud9:
cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
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Piglets! cloud9:
Oh my gawd... noooo:
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Are you floating down and egyptian river? point:
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Are you floating down and egyptian river? point:
eeek:
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Are you floating down and egyptian river? point:
eeek:
Moses, not Passover. ::)
Dumkopf. noooo:
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Denial, Banghead dumkopfs!
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Shrugs:
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Grandpa Barman ~ has a certain ring to it I feel.
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Grandad Baldy sounds even better!
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Denial, Banghead dumkopfs!
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I suppose it was too much to expect something with more deep meaning from you. noooo:
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rubschin: There aren't that many kids out there with a pole dancing Granny. whistle:
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Cool Granny!
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Papoose = Grandpa
Yaya = Grandma
In Cyprus like...
scared2:
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Papoose! How cool is that. Love that one!
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Yaya = Grandma
Gaga in this family.
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Yaya = Grandma
Gaga in this family.
Would be in mine too. whacky115
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Papoose! How cool is that. Love that one!
evil:
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Taid = Grand Father
Nain = Grand Mother
In Welsh of course.
Normally pronounced Tidy and Niney
Gaga also in this house but more a description than a term of endearment.
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Taid = Grand Father
Nain = Grand Mother
In Welsh of course.
Normally pronounced Tidy and Niney
Gaga also in this house but more a description than a term of endearment.
Despite multiple Papoose status, I shall never be called tidy. whistle: noooo:
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Taid = Grand Father
Nain = Grand Mother
In Welsh of course.
Normally pronounced Tidy and Niney
Gaga also in this house but more a description than a term of endearment.
Despite multiple Papoose status, I shall never be called tidy. whistle: noooo:
Nor me... noooo:
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I'm not either.
My youngest corrected a stand-in vicar who said to him, in strong Welsh accent "So Taid has come with you today then"
"NO!" said the kid "This is my father ~ he is nobody's Taid, he is Grandpa to my nieces and nephews"
Exit one confused man of the cloth.
All three kids are fiercely English. cloud9:
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As they should be!
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Yes ~ it pleases me but sometimes it does lead to battles at schools. Mainly with the teaching staff I have to say.
One cheeky female teacher accused the THW of being "snobby with a posh accent" ~ picked the wrong week to say that (Painters were due). Got a real mouthful in return about being a racist etc > we were called to the school where they got another blasting from her mother (similar reasons). whistle:
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Too right! None of the Welsh seem to understand that their attitude toward the English is inherently racist. It is one of the things that concerns me about moving there. Although seems to have been on the back burner for a while now. whistle:
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Talking of racism... whistle:
I've just been to WH Smiths to stock up on magazines and noticed there is a publication called 'Black Man'... for, um up and coming black men or something...
Surely that isn't allowed...? rubschin:
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up and coming black men
eeek:
What kind of "special interest" magazine was this exactly?
rubschin:
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up and coming black men
eeek:
What kind of "special interest" magazine was this exactly?
rubschin:
Not even on the top shelf Darwin... noooo:
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Talking of racism... whistle:
I've just been to WH Smiths to stock up on magazines and noticed there is a publication called 'Black Man'... for, um up and coming black men or something...
Surely that isn't allowed...? rubschin:
Only if white men aren't allowed to buy it.
What about "Asian Babes" is that racist and sexist?
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Talking of racism... whistle:
I've just been to WH Smiths to stock up on magazines and noticed there is a publication called 'Black Man'... for, um up and coming black men or something...
Surely that isn't allowed...? rubschin:
Only if white men aren't allowed to buy it.
What about "Asian Babes" is that racist and sexist?
Improbable certainly. . .
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It seems that under the current regime only white people born in England are allowed to be racist. Anyone else, it seems, can call us what they like and bar us from any organisation they wish to form. Unfortunately we are not permitted the same priviledges.
As a prime example I give you:
The National Black Police Association seeks to improve the working environment of Black staff by protecting the rights of those employed within the Police Service and to enhance racial harmony and the quality of service to the Black community of the United Kingdom. Thereby assisting the Police Service in delivering a fair and equitable service to all sections of the community.
Aims & Objectives
The aims of the NBPA shall be to seek to improve the working environment of Black staff members, as defined in article 4.1 of the constitution, employed within the Police Service of the United Kingdom, with a view to enhancing the quality of service to the minority ethnic community of the United Kingdom.
The definition of "Black" does not refer to skin colour. The emphasis is on the common experience and determination of the people of African, African-Caribbean and Asian origin to oppose the effects of racism.
Whereas
The Police Federation of England and Wales is a staff association for all police constables, sergeants and inspectors (including chief inspectors). It was created by the Police Act 1919, passed a year after a crippling strike by the unrecognised National Union of Police and Prison Officers (NUPPO).
So any Police Officer may join the Police Federation but only those of ethnic minorities may join the National Black Police Association.
I'm sure there is good reason for this ~ I just can't seem to put my finger on it.
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Talking of racism... whistle:
I've just been to WH Smiths to stock up on magazines and noticed there is a publication called 'Black Man'... for, um up and coming black men or something...
Surely that isn't allowed...? rubschin:
Only if white men aren't allowed to buy it.
What about "Asian Babes" is that racist and sexist?
As Snoopy points out, I feel that a magazine for White Men would be prohibited... rubschin:
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Talking of racism... whistle:
I've just been to WH Smiths to stock up on magazines and noticed there is a publication called 'Black Man'... for, um up and coming black men or something...
Surely that isn't allowed...? rubschin:
Only if white men aren't allowed to buy it.
What about "Asian Babes" is that racist and sexist?
As Snoopy points out, I feel that a magazine for White Men would be prohibited... rubschin:
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rubschin: