The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Snoopy on December 20, 2008, 06:16:35 PM
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What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Tellawoman
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What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
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How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a kitchen sink set at the height it is?
To rest her tits on.
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What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
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If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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What do you say to a woman with a black eye?
Nothing, you've told her once already...
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How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
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eeek:
You lot get a bit mental when I'm away for too long!
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eeek:
You lot get a bit mental when I'm away for too long!
Snoopy started it all off like... redface:
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Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.
eveilgrin:
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
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noooo:
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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I am considering breaking friends with you!
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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I am considering breaking friends with you!
You'll like this one:
Women will never be equal to men........ until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.
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That one is true. noooo:
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Why do men pass wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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Why do men pass wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
I don't think that is the case chez wench. redface: