The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Uncle Mort on December 29, 2008, 01:43:07 PM
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Work ~ tunble:
Have to be in, just in case like and there's a few bits of non-urgent paperwork but by God! I'm bored.
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Take an extended lunch?
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I was bored but now I am going boss-eyed instead, trying to read the deeds of my house which arrived this morning.
Should keep me occupied until Youngs o'clock.
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I treid to do some werk earlier. I have forgotten everything about what I am supposed to be doing.
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I am in the real pub and it is deserted!
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Quick! leap over over the bar and make off with the till.
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Probably empty as well!
It is nearly Youngs o'clock, thank God.
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I am in the real pub and it is deserted!
I hope thay've got some heating today.
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Looks like it's going to be even quieter at work today.
Zzzzzzz...
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Looks like it's going to be even quieter at work today.
Zzzzzzz...
A day for surfing porn then... whistle:
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Looks like it's going to be even quieter at work today.
Zzzzzzz...
A day for surfing porn then... whistle:
At work?
Not the most sensible option. eeek:
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Looks like it's going to be even quieter at work today.
Zzzzzzz...
A day for surfing porn then... whistle:
At work?
Not the most sensible option. eeek:
A day for hacking the firewall so you can then... whistle:
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Oddly enough, also against the Company's Internet/E-mail policy.
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How peculiar! eeek:
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This morning I have been to the dump, to offload all the boxes, wrapping paper etc. and then some shopping. Now I am bored.
Should I go to the real pub?
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This morning I have been to the dump, to offload all the boxes, wrapping paper etc. and then some shopping. Now I am bored.
Should I go to the real pub?
No, stay here and entertain us...
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I was a bit short of cash yesterday, so I decided to mug an old Granny.
"Give me your purse or you're Geography!" I shouted.
"Don't you mean History?" she replied...
"Don't change the subject!" I yelled back.
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I was a bit short of cash yesterday, so I decided to mug an old Granny.
"Give me your purse or you're Geography!" I shouted.
"Don't you mean History?" she replied...
"Don't change the subject!" I yelled back.
doh:
Perhaps you should go up the real pub after all...
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lol:
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Whilst I was in Asda, I noticed the price of Oxo cubes has shot up again.
The stock market's gone crazy...
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The real pub was so busy yesterday, that the staff had time to play cards and hangman!
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Whilst I was in Asda, I noticed the price of Oxo cubes has shot up again.
The stock market's gone crazy...
noooo:
How many Christmas cracker jokes have you got...?
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A bloke keeps ringing me up singing "Prince Charming" and "Stand and Deliver".
I tell him to fvck off, but he's Adamant...
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Has someone been on the Export already?
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Aaaw poor old Andrew Sachs. You've got to feel for him haven't you? He's a lovely little fella whose never offended anyone.
Oh, apart from the entire fvcking population of Spain during the Seventies, the hypocritical c*nt.
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I was woken up by the bulimic in the flat above last night.
I banged on the roof and shouted "For fvck's sake keep it down love!".
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Aaaw poor old Andrew Sachs. You've got to feel for him haven't you? He's a lovely little fella whose never offended anyone.
Oh, apart from the entire fvcking population of Spain during the Seventies, the hypocritical c*nt.
lol: lol: lol:
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Aaaw poor old Andrew Sachs. You've got to feel for him haven't you? He's a lovely little fella whose never offended anyone.
Oh, apart from the entire fvcking population of Spain during the Seventies, the hypocritical c*nt.
lol: lol: lol:
You don't see that in a cracker ;D
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My ex-girlfriend was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
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The other day I bought myself some sensible walking boots and a little rucksack, then I went up the Lake District. I walked for about five miles then I stopped and sat on a stone wall watching the clouds whilst I had a cup of coffee from my flask. Then I walked another five miles and stopped by a river and had some more coffee from the flask. I then walked about seven miles and ....oh, fvcking hell, I'm rambling...
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Mrs TMR (to be) likes it doggy style, which is great because she fetches my paper and slippers afterwards...
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lol: lol: lol:
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Have you had enough yet, or do you want some more lol:
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Have you had enough yet, or do you want some more lol:
Keep going! happy088
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This compilation of jokes was brought to you courtesy of Super Bike magazine.
A magazine that would never, never feature BM's bike.
Right, Young's o'clock lol:
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This compilation of jokes was brought to you courtesy of Super Bike magazine.
A magazine that would never, never feature BM's bike.
Right, Young's o'clock lol:
evil:
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Busier in the real pub today. And warmer.
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Busier in the real pub today. And warmer.
I have copy of Office for Mrs TMR. I shall bring it with me.
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I'm that bored I've decided to update my ICE details in case of my untimely demise surrender:
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ICE: www.virtual-pub.com
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ICE: www.virtual-pub.com
;D
,
The Snug,
The All New Celebrity Death Bingo Thread - With Prizes.
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YES! lol: