The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on January 21, 2009, 07:31:48 PM
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BIG box deleivery this morning.
A red faced stuttering Mrs Growler was a bit stuck for werds when she face an already agitated Mr Growler (ref Companies House letter cussing: ) when asked wtf THIS was now?
"Errrr, I saw this dvd storage cabinet that was greatly reduced in a magazine, and thought it might come in handy"
We've already got one, and an empty space...well full of shite actually....under the tv stand/shelf thing.
"Can you assemble it tonight, or shall I get a man in"? eeek:
Still fuming and cursing I walked away to phone Companies House, muttering about 'MORE 'KIN SHITE' Banghead
15 minutes later and the bastard heap of artificial wood shite is spread all over the lounge floor, unpacked by her bloody ladyship.
"Oh, it didn't look like that in the magazine, what do you think"?
Foaming at the mouth, and steaming at the willy....IT'S SHITE, send it back! cussing:
"But I've unpacked it now. Why didn't you look at it before I took it out of the box"?
It's SHITE wumman, how many times to I have to say it, and more to the point, WHY didn't you ask me for an opinion before you bloody ordered it!
"Oh, well be like that then, I'll send it back seeing as YOU don't like it, but now I've got to try and put it back in the box....and the punch line..."IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
WWWWWWWWHHHHHAT! eeek: Banghead cussing:
Roll out me coffin. I'm ready for it. Banghead
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Of course it is your fault - who did you think would get the blame...? ::)
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Of course it is your fault - who did you think would get the blame...? ::)
Of course, how dozy of me to think it could possibly have been her fault for ordering shite out of a glossy mag, with tales of just how wonderful and a sheer luxurious compliment to any home it would be, all pictured in a beautiful show home background.
Personally, I wouldn't have lit a bastard bonfire with it. Angry9:
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Roll out me coffin. I'm ready for it. Banghead
Thats probably what her next order will be ...hope you will be more helpful when she asks you to assemble that scared:
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Of course it is your fault - who did you think would get the blame...? ::)
Of course, how dozy of me to think it could possibly have been her fault for ordering shite out of a glossy mag, with tales of just how wonderful and a sheer luxurious compliment to any home it would be, all pictured in a beautiful show home background.
Personally, I wouldn't have lit a bastard bonfire with it. Angry9:
I share your pain. happy100
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Cut up her credit cards when she isn't looking eveilgrin:
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Cut up her credit cards when she isn't looking eveilgrin:
No, cut them up when she is looking! eveilgrin:
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Wimmin!
How did we get sucked into all this shite ey? What EVER was the attraction? Shrugs:
On me own in me 'ut in the woods like, I could have been well happy and minted by now. whistle:
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How did we get sucked into all this shite ey? What EVER was the attraction? Shrugs:
See the breasts discussion for a full and detailed answer.... whistle:
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Cutting up all tat magazines would be a good start...
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Tits and Arse would seem to sum it up Growler. If you had ignored those all would have been well
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Tits and Arse would seem to sum it up Growler. If you had ignored those all would have been well
But they are readily available for a much lower cost. No meals, no drinks, no expensive presents, no luvee duvee shite, no wedding, no mortgage, no comitment, and then back to your own little pad to sit and fart all night long if you wish, with TOTAL control of the remote.
Bliss. cloud9:
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Can I come and live with you Growler?
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Can I come and live with you Growler?
In our dreams ey GOS, in our dreams ey? lol:
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Sadly yes sad32: I don't think that even our combined Post Office book accounts would fund the lavish lifestyle that I want noooo:
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Sadly yes sad32: I don't think that even our combined Post Office book accounts would fund the lavish lifestyle that I want noooo:
You could sell your medals GOS...
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That's a thought, what is the going rate for a VD and Scar and WC and Chain? rubschin:
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That's a thought, what is the going rate for a VD and Scar and WC and Chain? rubschin:
5/-
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That's a thought, what is the going rate for a VD and Scar and WC and Chain? rubschin:
NO. You DON'T even think about it. noooo:
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That's a thought, what is the going rate for a VD and Scar and WC and Chain? rubschin:
NO. You DON'T even think about it. noooo:
Not even for 5/- ?
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That's a thought, what is the going rate for a VD and Scar and WC and Chain? rubschin:
NO. You DON'T even think about it. noooo:
Not even for 5/- ?
War medals should NEVER been sold. noooo:
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They were very small wars eyes:
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They were very small wars eyes:
No such thing. noooo:
If you've earned a medal, it's YOURS, and should remain that way.
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They were very small wars eyes:
And consequently quite small medals...?
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That's a thought, what is the going rate for a VD and Scar and WC and Chain? rubschin:
Reading all that again. You taking the piss? I'm trying to be all sympathetic and understanding here too. evil:
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That's a thought, what is the going rate for a VD and Scar and WC and Chain? rubschin:
Reading all that again. You taking the piss? I'm trying to be all sympathetic and understanding here too. evil:
happy001
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That's a thought, what is the going rate for a VD and Scar and WC and Chain? rubschin:
Reading all that again. You taking the piss? I'm trying to be all sympathetic and understanding here too. evil:
happy001
As Nick would say........ evil:
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That's a thought, what is the going rate for a VD and Scar and WC and Chain? rubschin:
Reading all that again. You taking the piss? I'm trying to be all sympathetic and understanding here too. evil:
happy001
As Nick would say........ evil:
An easy mistake to have made Growler...
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That's a thought, what is the going rate for a VD and Scar and WC and Chain? rubschin:
Reading all that again. You taking the piss? I'm trying to be all sympathetic and understanding here too. evil:
happy001
As Nick would say........ evil:
happy001 happy001
Your heart is in the right place. ;)
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Growler, you are a good egg cloud9:
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Growler, you have egg on your face point:
whistle:
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I didn't say that Growler, BM is winding you up mate evil:
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Growler, you are a good egg cloud9:
I'm a friggin' dope, and i admit it. redface:
I think I was just both saddened and enraged at the same time when I saw your post, as you do hear about this going on sometimes.
I just saw the letters WC and chain, and VD as a blur, and really didn't comprehend initially.
Take the piss all you want. I deserve it in THIS case. Shrugs:
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happy100
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I didn't say that Growler, BM is winding you up mate evil:
Nowt new there.
I leave the door open sometimes, BUT revenge is always sweet when targeted against our very own 'perfect' on line painter and decorator. ::)
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Growler, you have egg on your face point:
whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freedigitalphotos.net%2Fimage%2Fs_wooden-spoon.jpg&hash=ea197637c9716fd37c9d4f5aae162cb8d42a5495)
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Growler, you have egg on your face point:
whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freedigitalphotos.net%2Fimage%2Fs_wooden-spoon.jpg&hash=ea197637c9716fd37c9d4f5aae162cb8d42a5495)
redface:
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Growler, you have egg on your face point:
whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freedigitalphotos.net%2Fimage%2Fs_wooden-spoon.jpg&hash=ea197637c9716fd37c9d4f5aae162cb8d42a5495)
redface:
Ahhhhhh cloud9: Rugby or as you English types would say, Rugger!
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Growler, you are a good egg cloud9:
I'm a friggin' dope, and i admit it. redface:
I think I was just both saddened and enraged at the same time when I saw your post, as you do hear about this going on sometimes.
I just saw the letters WC and chain, and VD as a blur, and really didn't comprehend initially.
Take the piss all you want. I deserve it in THIS case. Shrugs:
You'll do for me mate
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Growler, you are a good egg cloud9:
I'm a friggin' dope, and i admit it. redface:
I think I was just both saddened and enraged at the same time when I saw your post, as you do hear about this going on sometimes.
I just saw the letters WC and chain, and VD as a blur, and really didn't comprehend initially.
Take the piss all you want. I deserve it in THIS case. Shrugs:
You'll do for me mate
Thanks for that GOM, but can we get some facts out of you now then please?
What medals exactly have you really got, or is all this just a bit of a front this G.O.SOLDIER malarky ey? rubschin:
Go on, do some 'willy waving' lol:
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You have now backed GOS into a corner noooo:
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Oh hum! here we go , served 22 years, discharged with the rank of WO2, medals LS&GC,(long service and good conduct despite 7 days nick)GSM (General Service medals) Southern Yemen, Northern Ireland 3 tours, South Atlantic Medal (Falklands 82) MiD (Mention in Despatches) Nothing heroic, I have seen 22 year old lads with a chestful.
Two pensions one ordinary and one war pension for injuries received. No PTSD but still have vivid memories.
I found writing that quite difficult. redface:
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Oh hum! here we go , served 22 years, discharged with the rank of WO2, medals LS&GC,(long service and good conduct despite 7 days nick)GSM (General Service medals) Southern Yemen, Northern Ireland 3 tours, South Atlantic Medal (Falklands 82) MiD (Mention in Despatches) Nothing heroic, I have seen 22 year old lads with a chestful.
Two pensions one ordinary and one war pension for injuries received. No PTSD but still have vivid memories.
I found writing that quite difficult. redface:
Why man?
You are a true gent and scholar, and I fully forgive you for the piss taking.
Three cheers for the GOS I say!
OK. 5 bevvies instead then. eastdrink048
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Cheers I will drink to that.
I think most normal guys steer away from serious willy waving, it is all a bit embarrassing, not the done thing etc. rubschin:
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Oh hum! here we go , served 22 years, discharged with the rank of WO2, medals LS&GC,(long service and good conduct despite 7 days nick)GSM (General Service medals) Southern Yemen, Northern Ireland 3 tours, South Atlantic Medal (Falklands 82) MiD (Mention in Despatches) Nothing heroic, I have seen 22 year old lads with a chestful.
Two pensions one ordinary and one war pension for injuries received. No PTSD but still have vivid memories.
I found writing that quite difficult. redface:
happ096 happ096 happ096 happ096 happy088
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Oh hum! here we go , served 22 years, discharged with the rank of WO2, medals LS&GC,(long service and good conduct despite 7 days nick)GSM (General Service medals) Southern Yemen, Northern Ireland 3 tours, South Atlantic Medal (Falklands 82) MiD (Mention in Despatches) Nothing heroic, I have seen 22 year old lads with a chestful.
Two pensions one ordinary and one war pension for injuries received. No PTSD but still have vivid memories.
I found writing that quite difficult. redface:
worthy:
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I don't bloody believe it! eeek:
Another 'kin great BIG box has just arrived! Banghead
I'm goin' out for the day.
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I'm waiting for a humungous box to be delivered today whistle:
But it's got my new big TV and Blu Ray Player and stand etc etc etc cloud9:
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I'm waiting for a humungous box to be delivered today whistle:
But it's got my new big TV and Blu Ray Player and stand etc etc etc cloud9:
Oh Gawd ~ don't you start on about bloody BluRay! ::)
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I'm waiting for a humungous box to be delivered today whistle:
But it's got my new big TV and Blu Ray Player and stand etc etc etc cloud9:
My first convert... cloud9:
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Does that make you a Cult Leader now...
what do we believe in confused2:
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Does that make you a Cult Leader now...
what do we believe in confused2:
Why, anything I say of course!
Assume the position... whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-whacky084.gif&hash=1f41c90aa8370324dde9004feafa266c00a7f7b6) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
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Does that make you a Cult Leader now...
what do we believe in confused2:
Watching rubbish movies in brighter, clearer format than ever before. whistle:
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Does that make you a Cult Leader now...
what do we believe in confused2:
Watching rubbish movies in brighter, clearer format than ever before. whistle:
See Also: Excellent movies in a brighter, clearer format than ever before. whistle:
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Does that make you a Cult Leader now...
what do we believe in confused2:
Watching rubbish movies in brighter, clearer format than ever before. whistle:
See Also: Excellent movies in a brighter, clearer format than ever before. whistle:
Depends on your definition of excellent movies.
DON'T START! evil:
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Does that make you a Cult Leader now...
what do we believe in confused2:
Watching rubbish movies in brighter, clearer format than ever before. whistle:
See Also: Excellent movies in a brighter, clearer format than ever before. whistle:
Depends on your definition of excellent movies.
DON'T START! evil:
evil:
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Does that make you a Cult Leader now...
what do we believe in confused2:
Why, anything I say of course!
Assume the position... whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-whacky084.gif&hash=1f41c90aa8370324dde9004feafa266c00a7f7b6) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Enjoy your moment of adulation BM. ::)
Sloopy always maintained that you were a bit of a cult.
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Does that make you a Cult Leader now...
what do we believe in confused2:
Why, anything I say of course!
Assume the position... whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-whacky084.gif&hash=1f41c90aa8370324dde9004feafa266c00a7f7b6) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Enjoy your moment of adulation BM. ::)
Sloopy always maintained that you were a bit of a cult.
eeek:
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Has the tat gone back or been burnt, I wonder rubschin:
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Any'ow MD. Did you get your piggin' death ray machine then or wha'?
Load of old bollox if you ask me...I know, I know, you weren't actually asking me. Just trying to be polite and shite, and taking me mind off other shite that's currently flying around here there and everywhere like. ::)
We now have another great monstrosity holding 50 dvd's that never get watched.
WHAT is the point in keeping them? If the need is great to watch summat, bloody well hire it!
Personally i really can't be arsed watching them.
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Has the tat gone back or been burnt, I wonder rubschin:
Sorry. Crossed post. Must be Nickorays which are marginally better than blue bastard rays Angry9:
New tat now installed....ffs ::)
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Any'ow MD. Did you get your piggin' death ray machine then or wha'?
Load of old bollox if you ask me...I know, I know, you weren't actually asking me. Just trying to be polite and shite, and taking me mind off other shite that's currently flying around here there and everywhere like. ::)
Personally i really can't be arsed watching them.
cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
New 46 inch LCD now installed - connected to new Blu Ray player and on beautiful black glass stand ( that i needed to put together bloody heavy though)
I was meant to go out last night but stayed in to watch films - really really impressive ....
BM and I can now talk Blu Ray films til the cows come home - bet you can't wait eh lol: lol: lol:
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surrender:
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Any'ow MD. Did you get your piggin' death ray machine then or wha'?
Load of old bollox if you ask me...I know, I know, you weren't actually asking me. Just trying to be polite and shite, and taking me mind off other shite that's currently flying around here there and everywhere like. ::)
Personally i really can't be arsed watching them.
cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
New 46 inch LCD now installed - connected to new Blu Ray player and on beautiful black glass stand ( that i needed to put together bloody heavy though)
I was meant to go out last night but stayed in to watch films - really really impressive ....
BM and I can now talk Blu Ray films til the cows come home - bet you can't wait eh lol: lol: lol:
cloud9:
I watched Men In Black last night... on Blu-Ray like... whistle:
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rubschin: I am thinking of a separate code word protected thread for all this BluRay talk ~ just to protect us ordinary mortals from the side effects like.
Anyway what is the female version of Willy Waving? whistle:
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rubschin: I am thinking of a separate code word protected thread for all this BluRay talk ~ just to protect us ordinary mortals from the side effects like.
Anyway what is the female version of Willy Waving? whistle:
shutup:
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Anyway what is the female version of Willy Waving? whistle:
Matching handbag and shoes lol:
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Not matching collar and cuffs then? whistle:
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Not matching collar and cuffs then? whistle:
shutup:
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Any'ow MD. Did you get your piggin' death ray machine then or wha'?
Load of old bollox if you ask me...I know, I know, you weren't actually asking me. Just trying to be polite and shite, and taking me mind off other shite that's currently flying around here there and everywhere like. ::)
Personally i really can't be arsed watching them.
cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
New 46 inch LCD now installed - connected to new Blu Ray player and on beautiful black glass stand ( that i needed to put together bloody heavy though)
I was meant to go out last night but stayed in to watch films - really really impressive ....
BM and I can now talk Blu Ray films til the cows come home - bet you can't wait eh lol: lol: lol:
46" mmm, now that is serious willy waving worthy:
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Come on now GOS - size isn't everything lol:
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Come on now GOS - size isn't everything lol:
[pantomime] Oh yes it is! [/pantomime]
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My GP advise me to always take another person to the toilet with me, he didn't want me lifting anything heavy on my own..... whistle: And it wasn't the lid he was referring too
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Come on now GOS - size isn't everything lol:
It bloody is when you are talking about TV's my dear cloud9:
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A kid came up to me the other day and said "What's your favourite Telly Tubby?"
I said "probably the new Samsung widescreen, you cheeky little bastard".
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surrender:
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A kid came up to me the other day and said "What's your favourite Telly Tubby?"
I said "probably the new Samsung widescreen, you cheeky little bastard".
lol: lol: lol:
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I am beginning to feel less than well endowed, when I was a boy 15" was the norm, so I thought being 32" would really impress the ladies, but sadly no surrender:
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I am beginning to feel less than well endowed, when I was a boy 15" was the norm, so I thought being 32" would really impress the ladies, but sadly no surrender:
Yours probably isn't flat either?
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It does stick out a bit whistle: