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Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on February 01, 2009, 07:28:57 PM

Title: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 01, 2009, 07:28:57 PM
Thread pending till I can be arsed to write the tale of woe
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Pastis on February 01, 2009, 07:29:56 PM
 tunble:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 01, 2009, 07:30:37 PM
No time now. Tap water and bread and scrape for tea, like. I have to run the tap. And cut some bread
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Uncle Mort on February 01, 2009, 07:31:04 PM
Be careful.
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 01, 2009, 07:31:21 PM

It's a ........

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimgres%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.trendpartnership.co.uk%2Fi%2Fcliff-hanger.gif%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNGIR2hpCOCJi-X0HW5gTYvgMYL95w&hash=b1bab580a385d80e4d8ed54ee259f5af1ff09217)
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 01, 2009, 07:32:29 PM
Calls for more (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink062.gif&hash=11fba7df7d58745877970b64e9b0baa184990d3f)
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 01, 2009, 07:32:49 PM
Well, he's coming back on Wednesday, so once that ordeal is over, and he's talked in Glaswegian about '...my little Kyle...' it will all be over
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Barman on February 01, 2009, 07:33:38 PM
No time now. Tap water and bread and scrape for tea, like. I have to run the tap. And cut some bread

You'll be needing one of these then!  (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Kenwood-SL250-Food-Slicer-100W/dp/B0000ZH0DA/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen&qid=1233516785&sr=8-3)  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 01, 2009, 07:34:39 PM
I am getting my coat and will drive round to Nick's and Keeeeeel Heeeem myself if he keeps this up.  Banghead
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 01, 2009, 07:34:55 PM
¬For tap water? rubschin:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 01, 2009, 07:35:20 PM
NO For the friggin' story you moron!  cussing:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Barman on February 01, 2009, 07:36:32 PM
 Banghead

Keeel Heeem!
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 01, 2009, 07:37:40 PM
Maybe I should post your bank details here in case i meet an untimely death  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 01, 2009, 07:39:01 PM
I think I can speak for the assembled gathering when I offer  surrender:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 01, 2009, 07:39:33 PM
Wait till Wednesday then
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 01, 2009, 07:40:55 PM
Bastardo!
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 01, 2009, 08:34:43 PM
I like Stanley Baxter.  cloud9:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 01, 2009, 08:37:36 PM
I knew somebody had to.  ::) I had assumed it was only his mother.
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Uncle Mort on February 01, 2009, 08:41:56 PM
No she disowned him when he started impersonating her:  ;)


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq__zyA.jpg&hash=69300e9ca952b1159f238fcfeef1227e1f14faa5) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq__zyA)
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 01, 2009, 09:28:43 PM
I like Stanley Baxter.  cloud9:

You wouldn't if he turned up at your house and shouted at you  evil:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: barmisspah? on February 02, 2009, 12:08:35 PM
 eeek:
The story better be good, cos I can see a lynchin' happening otherwise !
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 02, 2009, 12:09:23 PM
The man's a nutter.
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 02, 2009, 12:15:43 PM
It takes one to know one they say ........... whistle:

Come on Nick, you've strung this out long enough ~ give with the story. Who is this guy and what has he to do with your TV no longer being in it's box?
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 02, 2009, 12:16:58 PM
Wednesday
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 02, 2009, 12:26:40 PM
 Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 02, 2009, 12:28:47 PM
I can give you his number. He yells into the phone in an impenetrable Glaswegian accent  Angry9:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 02, 2009, 12:31:04 PM
February the 2nd is Groundhog day  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 02, 2009, 12:31:17 PM
This Yelling ~ What about?

Carpets
Cars
Court Cases
Television Licences
the list could go on and on.
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 02, 2009, 12:32:09 PM
Televisions
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Barman on February 02, 2009, 12:32:31 PM
February the 2nd is Groundhog day  whistle:
Yes, and Nick is the annoying insurance salesman... Am I right, am I right, am I right?  Banghead
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2009, 09:43:29 AM
Right.

We had the TV in a box for about 8 months but got it out at Christmas for our guests (tho there wasnothing on worth watching) and then I couldn't be arsed to put it away again.

Then it went wrong. Totally dead. No point having £700 pounds worth of dead telly in the corner, so I found a local repairman in the Yellow Pages and called him. Incomprehensible Glaswegian accent and very shouty. Doesn't listen. Impossible to get a word in edgeways. So he turns up to collect it. He looks exactly like Stanley Baxter. IN the meantime Mrs Nick wants to watch summat on the telly so we get out an old 12 inch set so she can do that.

After a week he calls up and yells at me in Glaswegian some shite about circuit boards and power surges. The one thing I do get is the repair price: £300  evil:

He delivers it back to us on Satruday and then discovers the remote control is not working. He produces a hooooooge box of remote controls from his car and proceeds to test each one to see if he can find one that werks the set. Running commentary throughout which neither of us can understand. We suspect it's a fake accent designed to confuse us.

He burbles about 'My little Kyle' till we feel like killing him. By now it is 6.00.

He announces that he will return to his workshop and find some more remote controls and return. He turns up again at 8.30 carrying a mahoosive telly  rubschin:

He yells at us that since ours is stil not werking he cannot leave us at the mercy of a little 12inch set and has brought a temporary replacement. We say that we don't want it. He insists (loudly) and positions it in front of the dead telly. It has a 60 inch screen eeek:

He then says he will have to order a new remote control (cost unknown at that point) and then spends anothor hour retuning the unwanted telly yelling in Glaswegian throughout. He leaves at 9.45!  cussing:

He has now returned with a new remote control (£25) and removed the mahoosive telly. He lost his footing on the ice as he left the house and dropped it  point:

The end
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 04, 2009, 09:55:20 AM
A non working TV set that cost, originally, £700 is worthless. It would be stupid to commit to paying for repairs costing more than a new TV would cost. Prices of such things have dropped in the past couple of years to next to nothing and a new set would be HD ready, have built in DVD player etc ~ available currently from several High Street outlets for under £300.

In fact I could point you at a 22inch HD ready set, readilly available for around £175 to £199. Given the size of your rooms you certainly don't want anything bigger.

If you have really shelled out £300 for repairs to an old set you are indeed, as Growler has said so many times, mad!

Unless of course your worth(less) £700 set is another heirloom in the making. FFS man inside of 12 months the switch to digital will be happening and your old set won't work anyway.
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2009, 09:56:12 AM
It is a digital set  evil:

60 channels of shite
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2009, 09:57:39 AM
More fool you on two counts...

1) You have turned a £700 obsolete broken telly into a £1,000 obsolete telly

2) Universal remote controls are available from Argos for £5

You should have junked the broken telly and bought a brand new all-singing-all-dancing HD set for £500 tops...

 point:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2009, 09:58:38 AM
It has been an expensive week  sad24:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2009, 10:03:43 AM
It has been an expensive week  sad24:
point:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2009, 10:04:19 AM
Well at least he dropped his mahoosive telly.
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 04, 2009, 10:09:03 AM
Was he on your property/grounds at the time? ~ We await the news from his solicitor's letter suing you because you failed to clear the ice from around the entrance to your property over which you invited him to pass.  point:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 04, 2009, 10:09:37 AM
Nick  -  noooo:

Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2009, 10:09:55 AM
Fortunately it was in the street
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 04, 2009, 10:10:17 AM
Nick  -  noooo:



As a Hatter Miss D ~ as a Hatter  noooo:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2009, 12:13:58 PM
I see Growler has found this thread. Wait for the bang  noooo:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: GROWLER on February 04, 2009, 12:16:51 PM
Fortunately it was in the street

YOUR street.
H&S executive will have summat to say about this. ::)

Where's there's blame, there's a claim. Angry9:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2009, 12:20:26 PM
Fortunately it was in the street
He slipped over on the slate!  point:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2009, 12:21:01 PM
Wrong  angel1
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: GROWLER on February 04, 2009, 12:23:10 PM
Wrong  angel1

Privately owned unadopted street iirc?

You and the neighbours responsibilty for not gritting it then soft shite.  point:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 04, 2009, 12:24:56 PM
I suspect on the main road ~ but someone will try to make a case out about it you mark my words.
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2009, 12:25:53 PM
Pile on the misery, please do   cry:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2009, 12:28:12 PM
Pile on the misery, please do   cry:
point:

Lucky he didn't drop it on your new rug like!  point:

In fact, why didn't you get him to help you move the rug - he could have put a compo claim in for putting his back out too!  point:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: GROWLER on February 04, 2009, 12:37:28 PM
Pile on the misery, please do   cry:
point:

Lucky he didn't drop it on your new rug like!  point:

In fact, why didn't you get him to help you move the rug - he could have put a compo claim in for putting his back out too!  point:

Back and smashed telly. This just gets better. Was it a Plasma telly by any chance? happy088

Give him you shite flea ridden floor rag as compo. lol:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 04, 2009, 12:48:03 PM
I am impressed that Nick is still able to pull out his old 12incher to keep Mrs Nick entertained when the need arises.
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Snoopy on February 04, 2009, 12:48:49 PM
 happy001

Not a hope!
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2009, 12:50:01 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Nick's current problem with a Stanley Baxter impersonator
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2009, 01:09:03 PM
I am impressed that Nick is still able to pull out his old 12incher to keep Mrs Nick entertained when the need arises.
lol: lol: lol: