The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on February 17, 2009, 07:30:22 AM
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There seem to be quite a few people on here that collects stuff. LL collects plates, Nick collects Heirlooms, Mrs S (2) collects miniature shoes, Wenchy collects tat and I collect dust cry:
Now some of this I can see would be aesthetically pleasing to the individual and may be an investment of some sort (although I’m not sure Mr Wenchy would agree ). However no collector should adversely affect the lives of their loved ones by this obsession ( I’m sure Mr Wenchy would agree with this ;D )
My stepfather collects clocks. Grandfather clocks, grandmother clocks , mantle clocks – you get the picture. Most of them chime. Some of them at 15 minute intervals. Banghead
Now when I come to stay I generally ask that the multitude of chimes are turned off at night. I may live in war torn South London and am accustomed to continual sirens, the alcoholics show tunes at 3 o clock in the morning and the local Somalian refugees quiet conversations at 110 decibels – but put me in the countryside with a solitary chiming clock and I will lay awake for hours. The axe nearly came out of its travel case last night.
I know I am being unreasonable – it is not my home after all but I know it irritates my mum as well or it used to - they are both hard of hearing now they probably don’t even realise any more. noooo:
I wish I could just take the batteries out - evil:
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Use your axe... whistle:
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But then they would know that it's me whacky115
I would much rather that it was accidental damage that couldn't be traced back to anybody in particular whistle: - however saying that there are so many of the friggin things that it would need to be the work of a tornado or something equally as powerful. maybe i could borrow the boy from Nick for a weekend noooo:
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[serious] Can you just stop all the pendulums (penduli?) before you go to bed...? Blame an earthquake or something... [/serious]
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A lot of them are in locked casements - and I am not the keymaster - nor do I know where the keys are kept sad32:
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A lot of them are in locked casements - and I am not the keymaster - nor do I know where the keys are kept sad32:
rubschin:
This is like one of those old Adventure games... can you see a cave anywhere...? rubschin:
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Don't they have bears living in them scared2:
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Buy ear plugs
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As you are now in the country, even if you stopped all the clocks you would probably be awoken at first light by a cock.
You need either to wear earmuffs or have a large malty drink before bed. I favour the latter.
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Don't they have bears living in them scared2:
Possibly.... whistle:
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even if you stopped all the clocks you would probably be awoken at first light by a cock.
Don't get her hopes up
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As you are now in the country, even if you stopped all the clocks you would probably be awoken at first light by a cock.
You need either to wear earmuffs or have a large malty drink before bed. I favour the latter.
drumroll: lol: lol: lol:
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Just a thought but depending on what the pendulums are made of would a decent magnet may allow you to stop them without opening the cases....
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Just a thought but depending on what the pendulums are made of would a decent magnet may allow you to stop them without opening the cases....
I thought of a huge electro magnet... rubschin:
But I thought you'd all laugh at me... especially as the weights are made of brass or lead! point:
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Thats why I qualified the suggestion with 'depending on what the pendulim is made of' BM. Having said that even if the weights and pendulum aren't magnetic odds are enough of the inner workings may be (not that I've done anything similar in the past like) whistle:
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Thats why I qualified the suggestion with 'depending on what the pendulim is made of' BM. Having said that even if the weights and pendulum aren't magnetic odds are enough of the inner workings may be (not that I've done anything similar in the past like) whistle:
Anyhoo... It seems unlikely that Miss D has gone away with a huge electro-magnet in her luggage... noooo:
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I can't sleep without a ticking clock somewhere in the house. The chimes never bother me either ~ unless they go beyond 13. We have an old clock in the room beneath our bedroom. It was my Grandfather's and when he moved into a home for retired soldiers he gve it to my mother. The day he died it struck 27 times at about the time of death ~ frit mother halfway to death herself when an hour later she received a telegram telling her that her father had passed away. Anywhooo she stopped the chimes and until she died it never chimed again although it ticked merrily on for another 40 odd years. Come her death the clock passed into my hands and I wound up the chimes and set it ticking. As it reached the first hour it chimed 27 times eeek: Then it settled into a normal chime on the half hour and the appropriate number of chimes to mark each hour.
When I had my bypass operation (at about 7 in the evening) and they stopped my heart and allowed the heart/lung machine to take over the task Mrs S#2 tells me the clock struck 13 times. It has on several occasions since struck 27 times and on each occasion we have subsequently heard of a death in the family. Mrs S#2 will not now permit me to wind up the chimes.
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I can't sleep without a ticking clock somewhere in the house. The chimes never bother me either ~ unless they go beyond 13. We have an old clock in the room beneath our bedroom. It was my Grandfather's and when he moved into a home for retired soldiers he gve it to my mother. The day he died it struck 27 times at about the time of death ~ frit mother halfway to death herself when an hour later she received a telegram telling her that her father had passed away. Anywhooo she stopped the chimes and until she died it never chimed again although it ticked merrily on for another 40 odd years. Come her death the clock passed into my hands and I wound up the chimes and set it ticking. As it reached the first hour it chimed 27 times eeek: Then it settled into a normal chime on the half hour and the appropriate number of chimes to mark each hour.
When I had my bypass operation (at about 7 in the evening) and they stopped my heart and allowed the heart/lung machine to take over the task Mrs S#2 tells me the clock struck 13 times. It has on several occasions since struck 27 times and on each occasion we have subsequently heard of a death in the family. Mrs S#2 will not now permit me to wind up the chimes.
eeek:
Spooky - isn't there a song about that...? rubschin:
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Thats why I qualified the suggestion with 'depending on what the pendulim is made of' BM. Having said that even if the weights and pendulum aren't magnetic odds are enough of the inner workings may be (not that I've done anything similar in the past like) whistle:
Anyhoo... It seems unlikely that Miss D has gone away with a huge electro-magnet in her luggage... noooo:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/science/770f/ (http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/science/770f/)
whistle:
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I can't sleep without a ticking clock somewhere in the house. The chimes never bother me either ~ unless they go beyond 13. We have an old clock in the room beneath our bedroom. It was my Grandfather's and when he moved into a home for retired soldiers he gve it to my mother. The day he died it struck 27 times at about the time of death ~ frit mother halfway to death herself when an hour later she received a telegram telling her that her father had passed away. Anywhooo she stopped the chimes and until she died it never chimed again although it ticked merrily on for another 40 odd years. Come her death the clock passed into my hands and I wound up the chimes and set it ticking. As it reached the first hour it chimed 27 times eeek: Then it settled into a normal chime on the half hour and the appropriate number of chimes to mark each hour.
When I had my bypass operation (at about 7 in the evening) and they stopped my heart and allowed the heart/lung machine to take over the task Mrs S#2 tells me the clock struck 13 times. It has on several occasions since struck 27 times and on each occasion we have subsequently heard of a death in the family. Mrs S#2 will not now permit me to wind up the chimes.
eeek:
Spooky - isn't there a song about that...? rubschin:
You are perhaps thinking of "My Grandfather's Clock"
Which starts with the lines
"My Grandfathers clock was too big for the shelf
So it spent all it's life on the floor"
Hang on and I'll Google the rest of the lyric if you really want.
My particular Grandfather's clock is not a "Grandfather Clock" but a mantle clock that chimes ~ OK?
It is, in fact, of American manufacture and he bought it when at sea in his younger days before WWI so it isn''t even an heirloom as such. Just an old clock.
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I can't sleep in a room with a ticking clock.
If I am sleeping somewhere other than home and there is a clock in the room, it will be buried under cushions or removed from the room.
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You could just shoot the clock, gently like
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I am tempted to use that expanding foam stuff.
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I am tempted to use that expanding foam stuff.
I've just bought a big tube of that.... haven't found an appropriate use for it yet! eveilgrin:
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Send it to MIss D
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Send it to MIss D
She can buy her own expandy-stuff.... evil:
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I am tempted to use that expanding foam stuff.
I've just bought a big tube of that.... haven't found an appropriate use for it yet! eveilgrin:
How about filling in holes in the wall/floor/ceiling? whistle:
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I am tempted to use that expanding foam stuff.
I've just bought a big tube of that.... haven't found an appropriate use for it yet! eveilgrin:
How about filling in holes in the wall/floor/ceiling? whistle:
happy001
evil:
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I can't sleep without a ticking clock somewhere in the house. The chimes never bother me either ~ unless they go beyond 13. We have an old clock in the room beneath our bedroom. It was my Grandfather's and when he moved into a home for retired soldiers he gve it to my mother. The day he died it struck 27 times at about the time of death ~ frit mother halfway to death herself when an hour later she received a telegram telling her that her father had passed away. Anywhooo she stopped the chimes and until she died it never chimed again although it ticked merrily on for another 40 odd years. Come her death the clock passed into my hands and I wound up the chimes and set it ticking. As it reached the first hour it chimed 27 times eeek: Then it settled into a normal chime on the half hour and the appropriate number of chimes to mark each hour.
When I had my bypass operation (at about 7 in the evening) and they stopped my heart and allowed the heart/lung machine to take over the task Mrs S#2 tells me the clock struck 13 times. It has on several occasions since struck 27 times and on each occasion we have subsequently heard of a death in the family. Mrs S#2 will not now permit me to wind up the chimes.
Twilght Zone-Episode 27
Author: S. Noopy. scared2:
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As you are now in the country, even if you stopped all the clocks you would probably be awoken at first light by a cock.
You need either to wear earmuffs or have a large malty drink before bed. I favour the latter.
Don't even get me started on that - there is a cockerel whistle: in the rear field to my mothers house.
Doesn't evolution suggest that animals evolve and get rid of physical features, characteristics that are no longer necessary. So why the feck does the blasted creature persist in hollering for about 3 friggin hours in the morning. Surely one call should be sufficient - saying hey guys guess what I can see -then shut the heck up evil: evil:
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But think of the clean air, the bracing country walks, the chance of meeting a turnip crunching, green wellied, horny-handed son of the soil. Just think how refreshed you will be when you return to smokey old London where there is no chance of being woken by a cock at 4 in the morning.
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As you are now in the country, even if you stopped all the clocks you would probably be awoken at first light by a cock.
You need either to wear earmuffs or have a large malty drink before bed. I favour the latter.
Don't even get me started on that - there is a cockerel whistle: in the rear field to my mothers house.
Doesn't evolution suggest that animals evolve and get rid of physical features, characteristics that are no longer necessary. So why the feck does the blasted creature persist in hollering for about 3 friggin hours in the morning. Surely one call should be sufficient - saying hey guys guess what I can see -then shut the heck up evil: evil:
Indeed cocks are most irritating.
Your mother must be a very tolerant lady if she is regularly woken by one in her rear field in the mornings.
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Nothing to beat a booster from a rooster. whistle:
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Indeed cocks are most irritating.
Your mother must be a very tolerant lady if she is regularly woken by one in her rear field in the mornings.
Good Griefio - yet more 'in your end dio'
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Already met the horny - handed son of the soil yesterday. The local farmer ( Chris) - he popped over to say hello as he knew I was visiting. noooo:
Do I know him much - nope. My brother used to work for him but not I. Then he proceeds to tell me how my mum has told him about this and that about me evil: evil: evil:
I have tackled my mother this morning but she feigns deafness when it suits Banghead
There is something to be said for the anonymity of London cry:
As for being woken up by a c**k or a cockerel the 2 are entirely different and will instigate very different responses as you well know lol:
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As for being woken up by a c**k or a cockerel the 2 are entirely different and will instigate very different responses as you well know lol:
Both are equally unacceptable in this household. surrender:
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As you are now in the country, even if you stopped all the clocks you would probably be awoken at first light by a cock.
You need either to wear earmuffs or have a large malty drink before bed. I favour the latter.
Don't even get me started on that - there is a cockerel whistle: in the rear field to my mothers house.
Doesn't evolution suggest that animals evolve and get rid of physical features, characteristics that are no longer necessary. So why the feck does the blasted creature persist in hollering for about 3 friggin hours in the morning. Surely one call should be sufficient - saying hey guys guess what I can see -then shut the heck up evil: evil:
You could use your axe... whistle:
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I think I would rather have the satisfaction of strangling it with my bare hands myself evil:
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I think I would rather have the satisfaction of strangling it with my bare hands myself evil:
And then use your axe like...? eveilgrin:
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Feeling more inclined right now - yes evil:
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I think I would rather have the satisfaction of strangling it with my bare hands myself evil:
A secret choker of chickens then?
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A choker of chickens would not be very appealling - I would prefer diamonds - and before anyone suggests no not pearls lol:
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I think I would rather have the satisfaction of strangling it with my bare hands myself evil:
A secret choker of chickens then?
[snigger] redface:
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Already met the horny - handed son of the soil yesterday. The local farmer ( Chris) - he popped over to say hello as he knew I was visiting. noooo:
Do I know him much - nope. My brother used to work for him but not I. Then he proceeds to tell me how my mum has told him about this and that about me evil: evil: evil:
I have tackled my mother this morning but she feigns deafness when it suits Banghead
There is something to be said for the anonymity of London cry:
As for being woken up by a c**k or a cockerel the 2 are entirely different and will instigate very different responses as you well know lol:
Poor local farmer just wanted to see one of them wimmin from London loike ~ to see it it was true.
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A choker of chickens would not be very appealling - I would prefer diamonds - and before anyone suggests no not pearls lol:
You obviously read the same magazines as my friend Woodstock ~ he will leave them laying around the kennel. redface:
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Poor local farmer just wanted to see one of them wimmin from London loike ~ to see it it was true.
Is what true ????????????????
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What they say 'bout wimmin from London loike
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Have you been visiting Nick again rubschin:
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Good Lord no ~ he has a house full of Chilians and Mrs Nick eeek: ~ I'll not go within five miles of the place until it is declared a Mrs Nick free zone again..
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Then stop talking in riddles man and spit it out lol:
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Then stop talking in riddles man and spit it out lol:
If the relationship reaches that stage I wouldn't dream of spitting it out.
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Then stop talking in riddles man and spit it out lol:
If the relationship reaches that stage I wouldn't dream of spitting it out.
Oh Snoopy! eeek:
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Then stop talking in riddles man and spit it out lol:
If the relationship reaches that stage I wouldn't dream of spitting it out.
Oh Snoopy! eeek:
He will get barrel-bottom splinters in his paw. noooo:
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Then stop talking in riddles man and spit it out lol:
If the relationship reaches that stage I wouldn't dream of spitting it out.
Oh Snoopy! eeek:
angel1 Moi?
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Then stop talking in riddles man and spit it out lol:
If the relationship reaches that stage I wouldn't dream of spitting it out.
[/color]
One swallow does not make a summer, neither does one fine day; similarly one day or brief time of happiness does not make a person entirely happy.
Aristotle
Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist (384 BC - 322 BC)
Might give you bad breath though. ;)
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Then stop talking in riddles man and spit it out lol:
If the relationship reaches that stage I wouldn't dream of spitting it out.
You're a dog - you'll eat anything lol: lol: lol:
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Sticks and stones etc.
Anyway it's all BM's fault for encouraging those goats to crap all over the patio.
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Then stop talking in riddles man and spit it out lol:
If the relationship reaches that stage I wouldn't dream of spitting it out.
Oh Snoopy! eeek:
angel1 Moi?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi12.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa225%2Fasarevig%2F030318_Funny_DogsBum.jpg&hash=c2ff3dfb1995df79833c91defadeef3379366f06)
Often licked, never beaten.
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Deffo a two char067
A bit like
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.stevenbloor.co.uk%2FSmoothNewts%2FImages%2Fpat.jpg&hash=f5b12848629ed6b2021ae95c219585a013aeb113)
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This thread has gone downhill a bit in my absence noooo:
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This thread has gone downhill a bit in my absence noooo:
If you say so. rubschin:
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Sticks and stones etc.
Anyway it's all BM's fault for encouraging those goats to crap all over the patio.
eeek:
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Sticks and stones etc.
Anyway it's all BM's fault for encouraging those goats to crap all over the patio.
eeek:
Well if you didn't keep giving them swimming lessons and stuff.
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Sticks and stones etc.
Anyway it's all BM's fault for encouraging those goats to crap all over the patio.
eeek:
Well if you didn't keep giving them swimming lessons and stuff.
But, but, but.... noooo:
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Sticks and stones etc.
Anyway it's all BM's fault for encouraging those goats to crap all over the patio.
eeek:
Well if you didn't keep giving them swimming lessons and stuff.
But, but, but.... noooo:
And the wrestling matches
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Sticks and stones etc.
Anyway it's all BM's fault for encouraging those goats to crap all over the patio.
eeek:
Well if you didn't keep giving them swimming lessons and stuff.
But, but, but.... noooo:
And the wrestling matches
noooo:
I've a good mind to send you Miss D's excellent (and comprehensive) visit report today! cussing:
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lol: lol: lol:
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lol: lol: lol:
redface:
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I've a good mind to send you Miss D's excellent (and comprehensive) visit report today! cussing:
Oi - you said there was to be no restrictions on what I was able to post whilst there rubschin:
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I've a good mind to send you Miss D's excellent (and comprehensive) visit report today! cussing:
Oi - you said there was to be no restrictions on what I was able to post whilst there rubschin:
(cough) small print... whistle:
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I've a good mind to send you Miss D's excellent (and comprehensive) visit report today! cussing:
Oi - you said there was to be no restrictions on what I was able to post whilst there rubschin:
(cough) small print... whistle:
Or part thereof
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Miss Creant will wonder what she has stumbled in to
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Eyes wide shut about sums it up I reckon.
Errrr ~ Shouldn't that be "that into which she has stumbled"?
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Pedant evil:
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redface:
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Eyes wide shut about sums it up I reckon.
Errrr ~ Shouldn't that be "that into which she has stumbled"?
happ096
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Fook off ! evil:
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Fook off ! evil:
point:
Nurse! The soap please!
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evil:
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Miss Creant will wonder what she has stumbled in to
Umm excuse me but my stumbling has nothing whatsoever to do with this site I can assure you. 8)
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Take more water with it dear
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Miss Creant will wonder what she has stumbled in to
Umm excuse me but my stumbling has nothing whatsoever to do with this site I can assure you. 8)
So BM has given you the traditional welcome then, a free double... whistle:
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Miss Creant will wonder what she has stumbled in to
Umm excuse me but my stumbling has nothing whatsoever to do with this site I can assure you. 8)
So BM has given you the traditional welcome then, a free double... whistle:
happy001 happy001 happy001
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Miss Creant will wonder what she has stumbled in to
Umm excuse me but my stumbling has nothing whatsoever to do with this site I can assure you. 8)
So BM has given you the traditional welcome then, a free double... whistle:
happy001 happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.liveeverett.com%2FPortals%2F3%2Fflying%2520pig.jpg&hash=b5082abe2c657a11c47c89e543f7bd484ca4fad1)
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I was hoping you two reprobates would keep it going just to see BM's reaction when he read the post. lol:
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They come in all shapes and sizes but the message remains the same
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV2eJA5r.jpg&hash=14dd5f387a3855171464219fceb61a93b781b577) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV2eJA5r)
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Miss Creant will wonder what she has stumbled in to
Umm excuse me but my stumbling has nothing whatsoever to do with this site I can assure you. 8)
So BM has given you the traditional welcome then, a free double... whistle:
[/color]
Umm to quote an earlier post....'am I nearly there yet' lol:
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Free drinks from old Short Arms and Long Pockets? noooo: Don't hold your breath.
He charges the PDSA rent for the space their collection box takes up on the bar.
There are those that claim him to be tighter than
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm2.static.flickr.com%2F1157%2F1254163004_79329c7d43.jpg%3Fv%3D0&hash=6592a22e55c8c96477dafba8022b2076488c6d0c)
and as we all know they are water tight!
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Well, I didn't know that! Is this one of those little known facts from the 'I Spy' book of ducks bottoms, 'though I suppose logic would dictate that they are watertight otherwise there would be a lot waterlogged dead ducks around. confused:
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Exactly!
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Exactly!
Quite/quiet...delete as necessary....
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evil:
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Whoops! whistle:
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Now now snoop be fair. BM has to save up so he can afford to pay the decorators to undo the damage he has done to Villa Balda. whistle:
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Miss D will soon be able to report how generous I really am.... whistle:
And hairy like, with a big cinema and no goats in the pool and all nicely decorated, etc. whistle:
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And if she tells the truth?
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And if she tells the truth?
She will say what is right... whistle:
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And if she tells the truth?
She will say what is right... whistle:
RIght up until her plane touches down at Heathrow when we will hear the true uncensored story. point:
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And if she tells the truth?
She will say what is right... whistle:
RIght up until her plane touches down at Heathrow when we will hear the true uncensored story. point:
evil:
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And if she tells the truth?
She will say what is right... whistle:
No pressure then noooo:
I now know how Kate Adie must have felt when she accepted her assignments lol:
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And if she tells the truth?
She will say what is right... whistle:
No pressure then noooo:
I now know how Kate Adie must have felt when she accepted her assignments lol:
No pressure... I just know you will say the right things... whistle:
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He may try to hypnotise you noooo:
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What with - a paint pod eeek:
You will finish the decorating
You will finish the decorating
You will finish the decorating
You will finish the decorating
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What with - a paint pod eeek:
You will finish the decorating
You will finish the decorating
You will finish the decorating
You will finish the decorating
The decorating is almost finished! Banghead
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char048
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char048
It is like.... cussing:
i would have had it banged-shut today if I hadn't been out werking like! evil:
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char048
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char048
Banghead
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To be fair Nick, if every room in Villa Balda is as small as the minima then he could do it in a weekend using an airfix brush.. whistle:
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To be fair Nick, if every room in Villa Balda is as small as the minima then he could do it in a weekend using an airfix brush.. whistle:
I had to have the paint delivered in a bloody tanker! Banghead
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char048
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To be fair Nick, if every room in Villa Balda is as small as the minima then he could do it in a weekend using an airfix brush. . whistle:
I had to have the paint delivered in a bloody tanker! Banghead
Was that an ocean tanker into Limassol, or a road tanker? (or even an merchant tanker)
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To be fair Nick, if every room in Villa Balda is as small as the minima then he could do it in a weekend using an airfix brush. . whistle:
I had to have the paint delivered in a bloody tanker! Banghead
Was that an ocean tanker into Limassol, or a road tanker? (or even an merchant tanker)
An ocean tanker and thence road tanker to chez Barman.... whistle:
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To be fair Nick, if every room in Villa Balda is as small as the minima then he could do it in a weekend using an airfix brush. . whistle:
I had to have the paint delivered in a bloody tanker! Banghead
Was that an ocean tanker into Limassol, or a road tanker? (or even an merchant tanker)
An ocean tanker and thence road tanker to chez Barman.... whistle:
The correct spelling is 'tankard'. ::)
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I had to have the paint delivered in a bloody tanker! Banghead
Does that not discolour the paint rubschin:
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I had to have the paint delivered in a bloody tanker! Banghead
Does that not discolour the paint rubschin:
Banghead
Why do I bother...? noooo:
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happy100
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happy100
cloud9:
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And how is the decorating coming along?
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And how is the decorating coming along?
I've been out werking since early o'clock... I'#m just about to start the rail end of the decorating now.... cloud9:
Expect a loud crash soon.... My head still hurts from running into the six be threes... sad24:
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Expect a loud crash soon.... My head still hurts from running into the six be threes... sad24:
Well if you are going to run around without looking where you are going what do you expect. whistle:
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Expect a loud crash soon.... My head still hurts from running into the six be threes... sad24:
Well if you are going to run around without looking where you are going what do you expect. whistle:
A sore head.... noooo:
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You should get LL to rub it for you
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You should get LL to polish it for you
There, you missed an insult... ::)