The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on March 02, 2009, 11:50:59 AM
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Mrs Nick has to go all the way to London on Wednesday to have her fingerprints taken ( point:): a new requirement of hte Libyan Govt. Meanwhile she has been told that she has to have a Hepatitis jab today.
I casually mentioned that I had had one of these some years ago (bending over a fence in the middle of a village in Guatemala, but that's another story) and that they inject you in your bum.
PANIC!! In my bum? eeek:
I have now had to inspect, whilst being worn, a range of knickers to assess their 'smartness' and thus suitability for exposure to the medical profession noooo:
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Mrs Nick has to go all the way to London on Wednesday to have her fingerprints taken ( point:): a new requirement of hte Libyan Govt. Meanwhile she has been told that she has to have a Hepatitis jab today.
I casually mentioned that I had had one of these some years ago (bending over a fence in the middle of a village in Guatemala, but that's another story) and that they inject you in your bum.
PANIC!! In my bum? eeek:
I have now had to inspect, whilst being worn, a range of knickers to assess their 'smartness' and thus suitability for exposure to the medical profession noooo:
eyes: and... Popcorn:
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And she has gone out to get injected
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Wearing the red and black Lacy fur lined crotchless knickers as advised by you?
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eveilgrin:
It doesn't matter what she wears. She will have to take them off anyhoo point:
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eveilgrin:
It doesn't matter what she wears. She will have to take them off anyhoo point:
eeek: Good grief just how big is the needle or conversely how small is Mrs N's bum?
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The needle is mahoosive. So proportionate then
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Q ... Do these pants make my bum look big?
A ... No dear ~ it's the chocolates, cakes and puddings that make your bum look big ~ the pants are doing their best to hide the fact.
angry041:
Exit truthful husband (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick013.gif&hash=1c62f25f8bcc8ac2a4f6473a589fdff5660e754f)
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It wasn't about size, it was about this weird idea of 'smartness'. Do pay attention
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It may have been all a waste of time ~ I had my Hep jabs in the arm.
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Science must have moved on since 1980. rubschin: Still, it was entertaining. She will, of course, get back and I shall be in trouble for willingly 'encouraging' and taking part in a pants parade noooo:
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It may have been all a waste of time ~ I had my Hep jabs in the arm.
Are you sure you can tell your arse from your elbow?
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The needle is mahoosive. So proportionate then
Tell her to stop whinging man mouse.
Is she a wumman or a mousett?
You want BIG painful needles, try 'avin' a lumbar puncture. noooo:
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Sorry ~ mind went off at a tangent there thinking of Mrs Nick's bum.
Yes wimmin do have a thing about being "properly" attired for such occasions. Not too sexy but NOT frumpy. Must never let the Doctor think you are doing a Bridget Jones but equally must not look "tarty".
Mrs S#2 always puts on a new bra and pants to go to the doctors. I cannot think of an occasion when any doctor has ever seen her in anything other than brand new, straight out of the packet, white with no frills, underwear ~ even when she has gone to see him about a sore throat and is thus unlikely to be removing any outer garments, except perhaps the scarf.
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Sorry ~ mind went off at a tangent there thinking of Mrs Nick's bum.
Yes wimmin do have a thing about being "properly" attired for such occasions. Not too sexy but NOT frumpy. Must never let the Doctor think you are doing a Bridget Jones but equally must not look "tarty".
Mrs S#2 always puts on a new bra and pants to go to the doctors. I cannot think of an occasion when any doctor has ever seen her in anything other than brand new, straight out of the packet, white with no frills, underwear ~ even when she has gone to see him about a sore throat and is thus unlikely to be removing any outer garments, except perhaps the scarf.
So she says... whistle:
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You can't trust doctors. Hands everywhere noooo:
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You can't trust doctors. Hands everywhere noooo:
The same could be said for most men. noooo:
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Present company excepted, of course (and not including Growler) (in the present company excepted bit, I mean)
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You can't trust doctors. Hands everywhere noooo:
The same could be said for most men. noooo:
...and some wimmin too!
Leave my tits alone. Angry9:
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[quote author=Snoopy link=topic=5716.msg130200#msg130200 date=1235997700
Mrs S#2 always puts on a new bra and pants to go to the doctors. I cannot think of an occasion when any doctor has ever seen her in anything other than brand new, straight out of the packet, white with no frills, underwear
[/quote]
eeek: Good grief and I thought that utility furniture was phased out after WW2!
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Alright being the voice of reason here again ::)
If Nick had incorrectly advised her she was going to be injected in the arse with something that hurt (please all add innuendo here as required lol: ) - then I can understand how Mrs Nick would not want to wear any of the following
Period knickers - the ones that are really comfortable, hold your swollen stomach in but are invariably stained. Any of you that have gone yuk - tough shit - that is the reality of life
Washed out knickers - these are the ones you've had for years, are now grey, unelasticated but for some obscure reason you still keep them shrugs:
Character knickers - the ones your partner has bought you thinking they were hilarious and you have never worn. evil: No one needs to see your Little Miss Slut / Cheeky monkey knickers noooo:
Sex knickers - the ones that aren't actually meant for wearing but for taking off - see also G - strings / crotchless
Baggies - you're comfortable but ever so ugly ones
That leaves you with only a few choices left
Just don't wear any - save the hassle ;D
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And THAT is the voice of reason? noooo:
Most blokes here have some pairs of Y fronts or whatever that just get dragged on without a second thought. Or even a first thought
PS I have just set fire to my balcony. I think the TV aerial cable is fooked
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And THAT is the voice of reason? noooo:
Most blokes here have some pairs of Y fronts or whatever that just get dragged on without a second thought. Or even a first thought
PS I have just set fire to my balcony. I think the TV aerial cable is fooked
[/color]
It's OK Nick the police presence is such there that the fire brigade will be with you in no time, when I say 'no time' I mean well, sort of never.....
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I used a watering can redface:
TV still werking, like
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I used a watering can redface:
TV still werking, like
Hose not long enough, eh whistle:
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evil:
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[quote author=Snoopy link=topic=5716.msg130200#msg130200 date=1235997700
Mrs S#2 always puts on a new bra and pants to go to the doctors. I cannot think of an occasion when any doctor has ever seen her in anything other than brand new, straight out of the packet, white with no frills, underwear
eeek: Good grief and I thought that utility furniture was phased out after WW2!
[/quote]
Never anything else. Plain white cotton briefs and matching bra (v small sized)
But Hey! It aint the wrapping but the contents that I look for in a present.
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I am a white cotton pants man myself eyes:
See also: Jill Dando
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I am a white cotton pants man myself eyes:
See also: Jill Dando
Jill Dando was a pair of white cotton pants!!!!!!!! confused:
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She was famously reputed to wear little else eyes:
Not that you would care evil:
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She called. It was administered to the BUM region point:
I suspect the doc was a perv (he must be very pervy, come to think of it, not that I would tell her that naturally angel1, though obviously Growler might say somesuch to Mrs Growler and end up in a hut in the woods again noooo:)
I shall buy her some smart pants (from Tesco online) for Mother's Day angel1 (a gross of pants are on discount and I get the points [so to speak])
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I shall buy her some smart pants (from Tesco online) for Mother's Day angel1 (a gross of pants are on discount and I get the points [so to speak])
You really know how to spoil a girl don't you noooo:
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I shall buy her some smart pants (from Tesco online) for Mother's Day angel1 (a gross of pants are on discount and I get the points [so to speak])
You really know how to spoil a girl don't you noooo:
He can spoil anything.
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She was famously reputed to wear little else eyes:
Not that you would care evil:
Well, no not really but I bet Nick Ross had a field day or at the very least an 'away day' ;)
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a gross of pants
Another collective noun mystery solved whistle:
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a gross of pants
Another collective noun mystery solved whistle:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
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She called. It was administered to the BUM region point:
rubschin:
Perhaps I was wearing the wrong pants or something.
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I guess we normally are noooo:
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There's something a bit Joe Orton about this weekend past .... How much for the rights? eyes:
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I'll buy you a pint.
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Wearing the red and black Lacy fur lined crotchless knickers as advised by you?
Oh dear I have come over all uneccessary at the mere thought
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It may have been all a waste of time ~ I had my Hep jabs in the arm.
rubschin: Ex Job?
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It may have been all a waste of time ~ I had my Hep jabs in the arm.
rubschin: Ex Job?
confused2:
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For those in the know "Job" is an expression meaning being a policeman. Therefore ex-job implies ex-copper. Normally the expression is used by serving and ex serving members of the police and frankly I have never heard it used by any other occupation.
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It may have been all a waste of time ~ I had my Hep jabs in the arm.
rubschin: Ex Job?
confused2:
For those in the know "Job" is an expression meaning being a policeman. Therefore ex-job implies ex-copper. Normally the expression is used by serving and ex serving members of the police and frankly I have never heard it used by any other occupation.
Uncle either is unaware of this or is confused by the suggestion that he was indeed a rozzer in a previous life.
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Yes, yes and what's it got to do with having hepatitus jabs in the arm?
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I suspect, my dear Watson, that our friend Pirate has some experience with "the job" and knows that police officers have all sorts of jabs as protection against the various ailments suffered by their clients that may, in the heat of battle, be passed onto the officers. Such jabs may well, as with the armed services, be stuck in an arm (or in the case of at least one esoteric tropical disease in the stomach).
I have telegraphed our old friend LeStrange at Scotland Yard and unless I am mistaken he will be able to provide us with an answer within the hour.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaxiegraphics.com%2Fimages%2Fcartoons%2Fsnoopy%2Fdetective.gif&hash=3e57f51ef323ad5aaf7e578d85859dcdd8f37477)
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I suspect, my dear Watson, that our friend Pirate has some experience with "the job" and knows that police officers have all sorts of jabs as protection against the various ailments suffered by their clients that may, in the heat of battle, be passed onto the officers. Such jabs may well, as with the armed services, be stuck in an arm (or in the case of at least one esoteric tropical disease in the stomach).
I have telegraphed our old friend LeStrange at Scotland Yard and unless I am mistaken he will be able to provide us with an answer within the hour.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaxiegraphics.com%2Fimages%2Fcartoons%2Fsnoopy%2Fdetective.gif&hash=3e57f51ef323ad5aaf7e578d85859dcdd8f37477)
They avoid giving Peelers injections in the buttocks to avoid discomfort as they are seated for 10 hours a day filling in forms (and eating doughnuts).
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I suspect, my dear Watson, that our friend Pirate has some experience with "the job" and knows that police officers have all sorts of jabs as protection against the various ailments suffered by their clients that may, in the heat of battle, be passed onto the officers. Such jabs may well, as with the armed services, be stuck in an arm (or in the case of at least one esoteric tropical disease in the stomach).
I have telegraphed our old friend LeStrange at Scotland Yard and unless I am mistaken he will be able to provide us with an answer within the hour.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmaxiegraphics.com%2Fimages%2Fcartoons%2Fsnoopy%2Fdetective.gif&hash=3e57f51ef323ad5aaf7e578d85859dcdd8f37477)
Spot on Snoopy
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Do you like doughnuts?
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Prefer dripping cakes or lardies as they are known in some parts
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That's Growler's department.
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eeek: eeek: The Growlers department is Mrs Nick's pants? If I had realised that this was one of those car key swapping sort of sites....
I would have bought my car keys. redface:
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I took my ex wife to a swapping party once. She went off with a 6 foot, blonde, goodlooking guy. I went home with a toffee, half a conker and a piece of string.
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I took my ex wife to a swapping party once. She went off with a 6 foot, blonde, goodlooking guy. I went home with a toffee, half a conker and a piece of string.
That is my joke! cussing:
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I took my ex wife to a swapping party once. She went off with a 6 foot, blonde, goodlooking guy. I went home with a toffee, half a conker and a piece of string.
That is my joke! cussing:
confused: Who's joking? confused:
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I took my ex wife to a swapping party once. She went off with a 6 foot, blonde, goodlooking guy. I went home with a toffee, half a conker and a piece of string.
That is my joke! cussing:
confused: Who's joking? confused:
evil:
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I took my ex wife to a swapping party once. She went off with a 6 foot, blonde, goodlooking guy. I went home with a toffee, half a conker and a piece of string.
That is my joke! cussing:
confused: Who's joking? confused:
evil:
You neither eh?
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I took my ex wife to a swapping party once. She went off with a 6 foot, blonde, goodlooking guy. I went home with a toffee, half a conker and a piece of string.
I take it you were pleased with the exchange? ;)
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I took my ex wife to a swapping party once. She went off with a 6 foot, blonde, goodlooking guy. I went home with a toffee, half a conker and a piece of string.
I take it you were pleased with the exchange? ;)
A quiet night was enjoyed and it was a banana split toffee. whistle:
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I took my ex wife to a swapping party once. She went off with a 6 foot, blonde, goodlooking guy. I went home with a toffee, half a conker and a piece of string.
That is my joke! cussing:
confused: Who's joking? confused:
Bloody hell! I got half a crate of brown ale for mine
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Question for Barman...Is brown ale still available?
Cancel that...just googled the question. I had forgotten about Newcastle Brown and Manns Brown Ale
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Question for Barman...Is brown ale still available?
Cancel that...just googled the question. I had forgotten about Newcastle Brown and Manns Brown Ale
Careful what you order in here.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2Fgx1Fr1j9.jpg&hash=0d0bdb754f0c8f58bfb63679c8d18d5b5f844c4e) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gx1Fr1j9)
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Too close to the truth happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001