The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on March 30, 2009, 07:29:18 AM
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Until I can post on Berek's Haway Man thread on a Friday - I need some help to get me through the week cry:
I frickin hate Mondays sad32:
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I told you Friday it would soon be Monday!
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After consideration of your insightful words I can conclusively say that hasn't helped lol:
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whistle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo
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I told you Friday it would soon be Monday!
It'll soon be Friday. cloud9:
Hope that helps. confused:
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lol:
Should have known better I guess .... you lot are all brimming over with the joys of the unknown of another week.
I should learn to be more positive like my role models here worthy:
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How about, 'it will soon be Tuesday'? spider:
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I AM HATING TODAY angry041:
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I AM HATING TODAY angry041:
So am I now. The remainder of todays werk is outdoor stuff, and it's pissing down and has been all morning. evil:
So much for the rancid weather forecast.
I'm going for a kip as me 'ed's numb and fuzzy. This going to me pit early and getting up early mission I decided to go from last Saturday has cabbaged me nut. sleep017
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This going to me pit early and getting up early mission I decided to go from last Saturday has cabbaged me nut.
I think I understand what this means. rubschin:
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This going to me pit early and getting up early mission I decided to go from last Saturday has cabbaged me nut.
I think I understand what this means. rubschin:
Please explain Uncle... lol:
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This going to me pit early and getting up early mission I decided to go from last Saturday has cabbaged me nut.
I think I understand what this means. rubschin:
Please explain Uncle... lol:
Mr. Growler's plan, mooted last weekend, was to retire to bed earlier than he had previously and to rise correspondingly earlier. This has had, unfortunately, a detrimental effect on his thought processes.
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Ah, Growler is trying that 'Early to bed, early to rise' phrase then.
Unfortunately for the rest of us even if it works, Growler will always be more Confookoff than Confucious. whistle:
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This going to me pit early and getting up early mission I decided to go from last Saturday has cabbaged me nut.
I think I understand what this means. rubschin:
Please explain Uncle... lol:
Mr. Growler's plan, mooted last weekend, was to retire to bed earlier than he had previously and to rise correspondingly earlier. This has had, unfortunately, a detrimental effect on his thought processes.
Ah, I see! lol:
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Correct. 10/10. So glad to see you're all keeping up.
Anyway, ad a nap for a 'our, and feel spot on now, and it's stopped raining! Whoopbloodyee! ::)
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I hate Bidston!
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Still raining here mate
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I hate Bidston!
Isn't that a Pub in Birkenhead?
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It's a godforsaken station in Birkenhead with one train an hour which I just missed! evil:
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It's a godforsaken station in Birkenhead with one train an hour which I just missed! evil:
Birk. whistle:
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It's a godforsaken station in Birkenhead with one train an hour which I just missed! evil:
Oh dear ~ were you delayed or is your watch wrong? I can't believe the trains actually run on time there. Very annoying all the same.
Did you wait or hop a bus?
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Its easier for the trains to run on time there than anything on the roads. After all, even if the scousers manage to get one up on bricks they've learned that trains don't have hubcaps. whistle:
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I caught a train to West Kirby from where there is one bus an hour home. I just missed that bastard too! evil: evil: evil:
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happy100 Never mind ~ it was an outing you would not otherwise have had and at least you could have a pint or several whilst waiting.
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I had to spend an hour talking to two righteous tits and then take the Boy's ben saxophone for repair yet AGAIN cussing:
WTF is he doing with it ? Angry9:
And tomorrow is a write off too! Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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Tsk! ~ Does he not have a case for it?
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Yes he does. And I see that is cracked too!
The repair man said ' I just love regular customers.' Cheery like evil:
At least Mrs Nick is picking it up and paying the £35 repair charge this time eveilgrin:
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The repair man said ' I just love regular customers.' Cheery like evil:
In other words he's taken one look at you and is already planning his retirement. whistle:
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I think he is. He has the most amazing collection of Van MOrrison posters rubschin:
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You are worrying me with this Nick. Minor want to learn the Cornet (not icecream but small trumpet type) He is enrolling in a local Silver Band that takes beginners and teaches them how. Starts once he moves from Cubs to Scouts in about 6 weeks or so ~ this will free Monday evenings which is Band Night as Scouts meet on a Friday (I think)
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We have asked the repair man to train him in looking after the instrument. I got it on Ebay for about £140 and have spent that much again getting it undented. The Boy is amazingly hamfisted. The guy said he knew the general patterns of damage inflicted by kids but that this one was in a class of its own evil:
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I have just shown that to SWWLTBO (but never is) ~ it drew a wry smile.
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Short week ....culiminating in a chocolate orgy at the weekend.
I may not need much help to get me through this one lol: lol: lol:
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We had that scenario yesterday. Mrs Nick failed to collect saxophone on Friday so Boy is saxophoneless. It now turns out that the school lent him one for the holidays. 'SO where is it?' 'Um, at school.'
Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
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We had that scenario yesterday. Mrs Nick failed to collect saxophone on Friday so Boy is saxophoneless. It now turns out that the school lent him one for the holidays. 'SO where is it?' 'Um, at school.'
Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Wot's the lack of a saxophone got to do with dog shit? rubschin:
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Two separate incidents evil:
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Ah!
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Wot's the lack of a saxophone got to do with dog shit? rubschin:
If the boy had been inside torturing Nick practicing his saxophone then he wouldnt have been outside to step in it. whistle:
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First day of the holidays and he may be lucky to survive it cussing: cussing:
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I thought he was out with Mrs Nick rubschin:
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I thought he was out with Mrs Nick rubschin:
She prolly forgot him... noooo:
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It's a toss up who kills him first evil:
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aaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Popcorn:
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aaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
scared:
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aaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Oh dear... happy100
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Sounds like somebody has dropped a bollock and Miss D has just found out. whistle:
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A major fucking (no apologies made for not disguising the word!!!) bollock to the friggin, unfucking believable tune of £94,000 which will have to be written off ......in my bastard name Banghead Banghead Banghead
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This calls for a bucket of popcorn
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It's not big enough Snoops - get me one I can drown in please cry:
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aaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
That reminds me...........For the next 60 seconds, I will conduct a test of the VP emergency broadcast equipment. AAAAHHHHH!!! Had this been a real emergency, the scream you just heard would be followed by lots more just like it. This concludes the test of the VP emergency broadcast equipment, we thank you for you co-operation.
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aaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
That reminds me...........For the next 60 seconds, I will conduct a test of the VP emergency broadcast equipment. AAAAHHHHH!!! Had this been a real emergency, the scream you just heard would be followed by lots more just like it. This concludes the test of the VP emergency broadcast equipment, we thank you for you co-operation.
drumroll:
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Last Monday at work until June...
don't care that it's raining.....
don't care that I'm knackered
don't care , don't care , don't care cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
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It's Monday and I'm tired before I begin.......
Motivation urgently required......all reasonable suggestions or insights considered rubschin:
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Booze?
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Not allowed to drink and work ( alcohol that is ) cry:
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Sniff some glue?
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It's Monday and I'm tired before I begin.......
Motivation urgently required......all reasonable suggestions or insights considered rubschin:
Go home?
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It's Monday and I'm tired before I begin.......
Motivation urgently required......all reasonable suggestions or insights considered rubschin:
Go home?
Feign sickness like...? rubschin:
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Mmmmmmmm don't think I would have too much success with that. There is no available glue in the building and if I go home the Brat will be there with her mates cussing:
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Wot's werk like? razz:
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Faint
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Wot's werk like? razz:
I could go off you evil:
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Wot's werk like? razz:
I could go off you evil:
You too could spend all day EVERY day in the company of two small boys. tunble:
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Hey that's what we're here for - to restore balance in your world lol:
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I'll try to remember that. confused:
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There is nothing else for it then, you will have to stay here in the loving bosom of your second family and we will support and guide you through your day. angel1
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One of them has a friend here all day tomorrow. That bodes ill ~ still maybe I can persuade SWWLTBO to take them all out for the day.
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There is nothing else for it then, you will have to stay here in the loving bosom of your second family and we will support and guide you through your day. angel1
Bosoms... eyes:
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Fetch a bucket of cold water someone ::)
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There is nothing else for it then, you will have to stay here in the loving bosom of your second family and we will support and guide you through your day. angel1
You are wonderful cloud9:
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One of them has a friend here all day tomorrow. That bodes ill ~ still maybe I can persuade SWWLTBO to take them all out for the day.
Plan b. Snoops goes out and visits one of those places that he has been meaning to visit for the last 10 years but has never quite managed to get there, has lunch at nearby hostelry and spends afternoon doing whatever takes his fancy (within reason) mass murder is not acceptable. SWWLTBO stays at home with children and cooks Snoops favourite evening meal. ;)
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He could come and help us with our domestic tasks angel1
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Wot's werk like? razz:
Tis Jobcentre day evil:
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Misnomer. They don't have any jobs noooo:
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happy100
Wot's werk like? razz:
Tis Jobcentre day evil:
happy100
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I have taken Wed / Thurs and Friday off as leave and it is a bank holiday weekend...suddenly feeling much better cloud9:
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Misnomer. They don't have any jobs noooo:
Too true.
They seem to like dishing out benefits, except to people like me.
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I have taken Wed / Thurs and Friday off as leave and it is a bank holiday weekend...suddenly feeling much better cloud9:
Hardly worth going in this week then.
Today, catching up.
Tomorrow, getting ready to leave.
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I have taken Wed / Thurs and Friday off as leave and it is a bank holiday weekend...suddenly feeling much better cloud9:
Excellent plan, well thought out and executed. ;D
Come to think of it that could be a plan for your stroppy offensive employee. eveilgrin:
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lol: lol: lol:
I was meant to being interviewed for my job this week .....they have now put this back for another 2 weeks as the Director is off evil:
So it is now on a Friday afteroon at 3.30 at the end of a full interview week. I will need to slap them awake before I begin noooo:
Deep joy
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Hypnotize them, should be easy if they are catatonic, then just tell them that you are the only person for the job, you deserve a pay rise and two extra weeks annual leave. Oh and a much better office a PC upgrade, mobile phone upgrade and use of a car.......Simples
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Mmmmm .....not sure they would be too sympathetic to such a list of demands.
I could just cry - it is to be an all male panel whistle:
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Ohh cry and wear a low cut top, that would work deffo. ;)
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Ohh cry and wear a low cut top, that would work deffo. ;)
eeek:
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Ohh cry and wear a low cut top, that would work deffo. ;)
eeek:
Not you numbnuts! lol:
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Is that where I've been going wrong?
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Is that where I've been going wrong?
Could be! lol: lol: lol:
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Is that where I've been going wrong?
Could be! lol: lol: lol:
OK, I'll cut out the crying.
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gentle sobbing is fine whistle:
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Is that where I've been going wrong?
Could be! lol: lol: lol:
OK, I'll cut out the crying.
A good plan - slightly alter your strategy rather than change it completely... happy088
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Should I cover up a bit more though?
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Should I cover up a bit more though?
No... most definitely not.... noooo:
Do your flies up this time tho... ;)
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Should I cover up a bit more though?
perhaps shave your legs tho whistle:
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Miss D tries out her interview technique
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I am not a very hairy (body that is) person.
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Miss D tries out her interview technique
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Why am I thinking Cupid Stunt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2Kc4_mAkgQ
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Miss D tries out her interview technique
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I think I would sit up a little more and at least try to look attentive whistle:
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Miss D tries out her interview technique
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I think I would sit up a little more and at least try to look attentive whistle:
Yse, the slouching is quite off-putting.
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Ohh cry and wear a low cut top, that would work deffo. ;)
eeek:
Not you numbnuts! lol:
He wouldn't have numb nuts if you would just let go of them.... whistle:
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Ohh cry and wear a low cut top, that would work deffo. ;)
eeek:
Not you numbnuts! lol:
He wouldn't have numb nuts if you would just let go of them.... whistle:
Who was that adressed to?
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It was addressed to BM regarding your nuts. 8)
Not that BM is necessarily regarding your nuts right now unless you are in Cyprus or he is here.... I seem to be digging a hole. shutup:
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What is this shite?
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Shrugs:
Had any good disasters today? scared:
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It was addressed to BM regarding your nuts. 8)
Not that BM is necessarily regarding your nuts right now unless you are in Cyprus or he is here.... I seem to be digging a hole. shutup:
Quite.
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Do what now...? Shrugs:
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Do what now...? Shrugs:
Just let go of tel's bollocks and all will be fine. ::)
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That's better.
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Feeling sluggish this morning....any suggestions rubschin:
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Feeling sluggish this morning....any suggestions rubschin:
A good jab with a SlugPoonTM would wake you up! eveilgrin:
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I was thinking perhaps of something more gentler to coax me into the day rubschin:
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How about a spot of pedantry?
You can either be thinking of something gentler or of something more gentle ~ grammatically you cannot have more gentler. whistle:
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Wanna bet evil:
Or should that be do you want to have a bet whistle:
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Wanna bet evil:
Or should that be do you want to have a bet whistle:
Or even "do you want to have a bet?" whistle:
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lol:
That was just too much effort to press the shift key and the number 2 together as well whistle:
I warned you I was feeling sluggish lol:
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lol:
That was just too much effort to press the shift key and the number 2 together as well whistle:
I warned you I was feeling sluggish lol:
Why would you press shift and the number 2 together to get a question mark? whistle:
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I was looking at the quotation marks you dodo lol:
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I do lurve Mondays razz:
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I was looking at the quotation marks you dodo lol:
I am aware of that! Banghead
I was pointing out that you should have had a question mark at the end
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But then it was a threat, not requiring an answer ..... whistle:
If a question does not not require an answer is it still technically a question ?
lol:
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I do lurve Mondays razz:
BASTARD!
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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But then it was a threat, not requiring an answer ..... whistle:
If a question does not not require an answer is it still technically a question ?
lol:
It is called a rhetorical question and still requires a question mark.
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I do lurve Mondays razz:
BASTARD!
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
angel1
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whistle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7KrlDZ5Hkw
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whistle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0qNGYxUwmU
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But then it was a threat, not requiring an answer ..... whistle:
If a question does not not require an answer is it still technically a question ?
lol:
?
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That was just too much effort to press the shift key and the number 2 together as well
I warned you I was feeling sluggish
Do all you young people have a computer in the lavatory?
I feel so old-fashioned. surrender:
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Coming back from the New Forest on Saturday, Mrs TMRBB put her "David Gray" CD on and one of the songs on it was "Say Hello, Wave Goodbye". She wasn't aware that Soft Cell did the song originally, so I dug it up on You Tube to prove. Watch the video, I'd forgotten just how camp it was. Hilarious!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42YzfmEQ400
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Coming back from the New Forest on Saturday, Mrs TMRBB put her "David Gray" CD on and one of the songs on it was "Say Hello, Wave Goodbye". She wasn't aware that Soft Cell did the song originally, so I dug it up on You Tube to prove. Watch the video, I'd forgotten just how camp it was. Hilarious!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42YzfmEQ400
And then he grew up to be
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TMR ~ the message is ~ Don't judge your yesterdays by your todays.
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David Gray I now need to go on a CD hunt I may be gone a while......................
Or words to that effect.
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SWWLTBO went to work at 0945 ~ since when beds made, bedrooms tidied and vac'd, 1st load of washing on the line, second load started in the machine, boys tucking into their lunch (beans on toast for one, boiled egg and toast for the other) ~ what's all this bollox about men can't multitask?
The hound can whistle:
Now just two baskets of ironing to do (SWWLTBO failed to do them over the weekend) and that's me done for the day.
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Mrs TMRBB left for work at 5.45am. Since then I have hoovered, tidied, put 1 wash on, ironed what was in the ironing basket, sent off the warranties for the new hoover and cooker (online), been to the chemist, smoked 10 fags and drunk 5 cups of tea.
Like hounds, meerkats too can multitask. Simples!
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We are indeed the kings of cool! lol:
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I've done loads of stuff too... angel1
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All this back slapping will come to no good ...you mark my words whistle:
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Very true Miss D, BM will prolly knock his bucket off. scared2:
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Very true Miss D, BM will prolly knock his bucket off. scared2:
That'll make him a slaphead then. ;)
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evil:
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Very true Miss D, BM will prolly knock his bucket off. scared2:
Euphemism #956?
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Very true Miss D, BM will prolly knock his bucket off. scared2:
Euphemism #956?
Well spotted Miss C.
It is indeed one of the rare, classic, 3-digit, Wessex euphemisms found in the Domesday book.
#957, "Pulling a flanker on horseback" has not been used since the 18th century.
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I've just got out of a mind-numbing meeting, felt totally jaded, and my spirits were lifted by this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g7QTr1rzBk&feature=player_embedded
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happ096
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Very true Miss D, BM will prolly knock his bucket off. scared2:
Euphemism #956?
Well spotted Miss C.
It is indeed one of the rare, classic, 3-digit, Wessex euphemisms found in the Domesday book.
#957, "Pulling a flanker on horseback" has not been used since the 18th century.
lol: lol: Classic DS if I might say so.
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happ096
Wot he said, I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, am now smiling.
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Ok ...
it's cold
was foggy
I was happily cocooned in my duvet until the alarm shattered my contentment
I have shed loads of work to do this week
coupled with a couple of tedious training courses
and worst of all .............
IT IS MONDAY cry: cry: cry:
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I am flying back to Cyprus... cloud9:
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Well that's cheered me up lol:
Just had an email from a friend inviting me to go and visit her in Australia next year rubschin:
Never been there before ...not sure I can afford it but would be nice cloud9:
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Well that's cheered me up lol:
Just had an email from a friend inviting me to go and visit her in Australia next year rubschin:
Never been there before ...not sure I can afford it but would be nice cloud9:
It would give us a bit of peace and quiet... whistle:
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Another reason for not being able to go then whistle:
Don't think I would be able to afford it anyways noooo:
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Another reason for not being able to go then whistle:
Don't think I would be able to afford it anyways noooo:
We could have a whip round for you... eveilgrin:
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You're too kind evil:
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Whip-round = Collective noun for a group of masochists.
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Whip-round = Collective noun for a group of masochists.
::)
"I'm sorry I haven't a clue" - series #1
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But you can't beat the old ones. ;D
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But you can't beat the old ones. ;D
You and I are lucky then. scared2:
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But you can't beat the old ones. ;D
She's not that old... whistle:
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But you can't beat the old ones. ;D
She's not that old... whistle:
scared:
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But you can't beat the old ones. ;D
She's not that old... whistle:
scared:
If you cut me in half you can count my rings whistle:
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But you can't beat the old ones. ;D
She's not that old... whistle:
scared:
If you cut me in half you can count my rings whistle:
shutup:
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Ok ..we are in that place of the week again. The start of all the joyous hurdles to be overcome cry:
Motivational thoughts for the day please whacky115
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If you do a job you love, you'll never work again
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Not sure that worked noooo:
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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
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.....on the sharp , pointy bit no doubt lol:
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Look round your office and see how many fit...
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lol: lol: lol:
What if that's me eeek:
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8)
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A hundred years from now I'll just be one line in someone's geneology chart. cry:
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"One adult in four has a mental health problem.
Look at your three closest workmates, if they seem OK, it's you."
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Nope, it's all of us. ;)
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Well 8 of us have posted. Two of us must be raving
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Well 8 of us have posted. Two of us must be raving
Who is the other one?
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Your guess is a good as mine. Some appear to be perfectly normal...but...
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whistle:
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surrender:
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happy100 happy100 happy100
Shall I make you a brew ???
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I've just made one. It doesn't help. noooo:
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Why is today so bleak ????
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Still bleak, God! that's a depressing thought. cry:
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happy100
January is pants - worst month of the year noooo:
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Watch out for the third monday in January - according to The Samaritans, it's officially the most depressing day of the year and has been dubbed "Blue Monday".
The highest volume of calls to the organisations from people feeling depressed or down are made during January and February, as people find themselves alone again after the festivities, and anxieties that may have been put on hold during the holiday season re-emerge.
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Indeed, Uncle.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7836941.stm
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I thought we had worked that out over the weekend.
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and it's another one of those Monday's noooo:
Computer is soooooooooooo slow Banghead
One week off and 385 emails to sift through cussing:
Some bastard had set up a 9 o clock meeting and just given me a shed load of work to do as a result of this Angry9:
Some BBC film crew wants to come and film something or the other - I have said no evil:
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Some BBC film crew wants to come and film something or the other - I have said no evil:
Some daring expos? of council malpractice no doubt. ;)
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Cheeky bugger lol:
Oh no something much more exciting ::)
the blurb says it wants to show ..."how councils are actively taking action against criminals in order to create and sustain a healthy, clean local community"
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Cheeky bugger lol:
Oh no something much more exciting ::)
the blurb says it wants to show ..."how councils are actively taking action against criminals in order to create and sustain a healthy, clean local community"
I shall look out for that on the telly then... noooo:
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actively taking action
rubschin:
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Cheeky bugger lol:
Oh no something much more exciting ::)
the blurb says it wants to show ..."how councils are actively taking action against criminals in order to create and sustain a healthy, clean local community"
Fining litter lout thens.
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Why is this thread making us all talk like foreigners? rubschin:
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BBC Ingleesh innit.
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Cheeky bugger lol:
Oh no something much more exciting ::)
the blurb says it wants to show ..."how councils are actively taking action against criminals in order to create and sustain a healthy, clean local community"
Fining litter lout thens.
Nope noooo:
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I would've sworn I put that 's' in the right place. noooo:
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Cheeky bugger lol:
Oh no something much more exciting ::)
the blurb says it wants to show ..."how councils are actively taking action against criminals in order to create and sustain a healthy, clean local community"
Fining litter lout thens.
Nope noooo:
Oh good! a guessing game.
Another reality TV pest control programme.
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I have said no - we ain't doing it , so who knows what it's gonna be about now Shrugs:
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So it could have been about fining litter louts then. rubschin:
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No means No Uncle lol:
But it may well be now depending on wherever else they choose to go
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Grime Busters prolly.